- Mordiceius
- Nov 10, 2007
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If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!
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It was nice of the MIL to let OP come to the wedding of her and her son
Reddit posted:IN.FO - you were unable to get a single photo without your MIL in it, just you and your husband? And your husband thinks you're behaving badly by being upset? Has he always been a mama's boy?
OP posted:Yes, I would say so. He cancels a lot of plans because his mother wants to call him.
By 'single photo' I mean a photo with the professional photographer we hired. He took photos of the ceremony and was supposed to give us a final photo for the end, but was unable to get it without my MIL. There are other photos taken by other guests or my family members, but it was not 'professionally done' and I wanted one of us(because I paid for it).
Hope it's not too late for an annulment.
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Apr 12, 2024 01:47
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 17, 2024 02:39
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- Mordiceius
- Nov 10, 2007
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If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!
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AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend over a video call while having sex?
quote:Okay, this might be theatrical but it's true. Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 years but recently I found out that for the past whole year he had been cheating on me with a mutual acquaintance.
That other girl didn't knew that my boyfriend was still committed to me and she was under the impression that we had broken up already. She got to know about me being the girlfriend through another mutual friend. And when she got to know about this, she reached out to me first before going to my boyfriend and taking up the matter with him.
I was heartbroken initially and felt like a fool. It had been over a year since this had been going on, and so I decided to take revenge. After a week of mourning and ignoring my pathetic boyfriend, I decided to dump him in a drastic fashion.
I reached out to one of my exes. One of the more decent ones, who was available at the time and was in town. I called him over to hookup. And while we were at it, I video called my boyfriend to break the news. He was flabbergasted but I definitely cherished the look on his face.
But since then I've been wondering that I was no better than him maybe and that I shouldn't have pulled this off. I'm confused.
And hence I'm here asking reddit if I'm the rear end in a top hat or not ...
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Apr 12, 2024 01:53
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- Troublemaker
- Mar 12, 2007
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AITA for telling my MIL to get out of a photo of me and my husband were taking at my wedding?
It was nice of the MIL to let OP come to the wedding of her and her son
Man, another couple with a clown in their wedding photo??
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Apr 12, 2024 02:00
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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I (29m) not being included in online game
quote:
I (29m) play a first person shooter with some people online. Almost every night everyone else in the group is playing a ranked competitive mode until they can't find matches anymore (usually around 10pm). I want to play too but I am not usually asked.
There are daily missions that you can complete that can earn you new characters and weapon skins. There is usually a mission to win a specific type of match 3 or 6 times. Me and the guy I talk to most (Guy A)(36m) have a trick to complete that type of mission quickly. We start a 1 vs 1 match and take turns quitting to give each other the wins. He usually asks me to do this after competitive mode becomes inactive. Since most nights I'm not playing with the others, I have nothing better to do so I finish the missions legitimately before he is ready to do this. He is also doing the daily missions on two accounts so I am helping him more than he is me. Sometimes I feel like I am being used by him to get his missions done so it frees him up to do competitive mode.
A couple weeks ago, I was logged on the game for about an hour and then someone else logged on and he immediately was asked "We have an open spot on our team, do you want to play with us?". I didn't mean for the microphone to pick it up but said annoyed under my breath "of course..." Someone asks what's wrong and I say "nothing". Guy A asks if I wanted to play competition and I admit that I do. He says I should have said something. I said I didn't feel right asking and that nobody else has to ask, they are just invited when they log on. I told them I assumed that nobody wanted to play competitive mode with me because I am not as good as the others. They denied that it was a skill difference issue. They said they just thought I was too busy doing the daily missions. I played a couple competitive matches with them that night.
I thought things would start to change after that but I'm still not being asked as often as the others. Yesterday, I logged on and said hi to everybody and they say hi back. They were one person short of a full team and were trying to find someone. They ask Guy A if he knows of anyone that they can invite to competition and he answers " I have no one". They sat around in the waiting room for 10 minutes trying to find someone. I almost logged off but stayed and did the missions. As usual when competition dies down guy A came asking for help with the missions which I ended up doing.
I can't decide if I should say something again. I know that if I asked, they would let me play competition with them but I wouldn't enjoy it because I would wonder if they just said yes out of obligation. Sometimes I think about quitting the game without saying anything. Since everyone else is busy, I'm only playing to complete the daily missions which are a chore. If I did quit, I'm sure guy A would most likely reach out but I wouldn't know what to say when he asks why I haven't been playing.
TLDR: Should I ask again about playing competitive mode with the group?
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Apr 12, 2024 02:11
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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AITA for having a messy room, making it difficult for my roommate to vacuum?
quote:I (33f) live with my best friend "Sally" (35f). I can be a messy person but I do my best to respect the common areas, and Sally doesn't have any big issues with that. What she takes issue with is my bedroom. Obviously I prefer having a tidy room but I struggle to keep up with it due to having ADHD & depression, and it's been at least a few months since it was tidy. I find it tolerable since it's nowhere near the state I used to let my space get to before I received treatment for my mental health. It's literally just piles of clothes (you know, the not-dirty-enough-to-put-in-the-laundry-yet kinda stuff).
Our bedrooms have thick shag carpeting (ugh) and Sally feels that it is imperative that it gets vacuumed regularly, and that the dust spores are bad for our health if we don't vacuum. It may be worth mentioning that Sally has fairly severe contamination OCD.
She has asked for permission to vacuum my room for me, which I'm not a huge fan of but have accepted. I don't love people being in my room but I especially dislike my things being touched or moved. It feels like a violation of my safe space - literally the only space in the world that is just mine alone. I have told her on multiple occasions that she is welcome to vacuum wherever she can reach as long as she doesn't move my things. However, she continues to move/tidy my things so that she can vacuum my entire floor.
She hadn't done it in a long time & I thought she had finally accepted & respected my boundaries, until it happened again today while I was at work. She keeps justifying her actions, listing all the reasons why it's unhealthy not to vacuum and insisting it affects everyone in the house, not just me, and no it doesn't matter if I keep my door closed, and it was for my sake too.
I'm upset. I feel like my trust, my boundaries, and my space were all violated. Sally is upset that I'm upset since she "was just trying to help" and that it needed to be done.
I can't tell if I might be the AH here. Maybe I am being overly particular or oversensitive. Maybe it really is that terrible to skip vacuuming for months? It wasn't even visibly dirty; I rarely bring food into my room so it's not like there's crumbs everywhere, it was just dusty.
Please help. AITA?
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Apr 12, 2024 04:10
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- artsy fartsy
- May 10, 2014
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You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!
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My life improved when I got a small laundry basket whose sole purpose is to hold clothes that have been worn but aren't dirty enough to wash
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Apr 12, 2024 04:13
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- Moon Slayer
- Jun 19, 2007
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I'm gonna put this whole thing in spoiler tags because it's  for exactly the reason you will think when you read the title:
TIFU by letting my boyfriends horrific personal hygiene run our relationship
quote:
I have been with my boyfriend (22 M) for over two years now. i first noticed he didn't have good personal hygiene before we even got together, I noticed he smelled sometimes. He is the loveliest guy and has the sweetest heart so I could see past the bad sweat.
After a few months of being together I noticed it was much more, for example, his oral hygiene is awful, he barely brushes his teeth, only when I remind him. He says he does but the plaque and state of his teeth says otherwise (starting to decay at the bottom on a few of them).
Also, this one affects me the most, but he doesn't wipe his butt properly / at all after going to the loo. I tried to forget about it the first couple times and put it to an accident (he used to dirty my sheets when he slept over my house) but then it started to get worse where id have to wash my sheets pretty much every week, which was expensive for me as a student.
I talked to him about this crying and said how it affects me and how he needs to sort it asap. This was 5 months into our relationship when i said this. We are over 2 years now and he still does it. I have had this conversation with him so many times i cant count. He says he will change it and that he is trying. To be honest I have seen some improvement from what it used to be like, but its still happening.
FYI he is a large guy , so i can understand it may be difficult to reach round there, but its been to long. I reckon if he lost some weight it would help. He has been trying to loose weight for the past 8 months, but im not really seeing any change, im assuming because his diet hasn't changed, i've been trying to support him through this too.
Id really appreciate some help with how to get some change. Maybe i'm not saying the right thing? Its like he doesnt care about it enough to stop it, its as though he is comfortable being gross. I dont understand...
TL;DR I have allowed my boyfriends bad hygiene to go mostly unnoticed for two years, from staining the bed with poop, decaying teeth from never brushing, and the worst part is he is reluctant to ever change.
It gets better!
redditor posted:
Im out here single meanwhile girls are dating the skid bandit
other redditor posted:
You probably wouldnt be comfortable using OP’s bf’s one weird trick: if you look at her post history you can see she was 16 two years ago when they started dating
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Apr 12, 2024 04:20
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- Jabor
- Jul 16, 2010
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#1 Loser at SpaceChem
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quote:
(you know, the not-dirty-enough-to-put-in-the-laundry-yet kinda stuff).
No, no I do not "know".
I have a laundry hamper, it's for "clothes that need a wash but there aren't enough of them to justify running the machine yet".
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Apr 12, 2024 04:22
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- Pantaloon Pontiff
- Jun 25, 2023
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Ok the mother is the worst here and obviously the son is pretty bad but what is with this photographer? I've never been at an event where the photographer couldn't easily tell people to move so they could frame the shot
He could *tell* her, but that doesn't mean she'd move, and if the groom doesn't want to do anything about it, the photographer is absolutely not going to step in the middle of a mom-son-wife fight, or worse be the one to set that fight off. Expecting the photographer to solve an unhealthily strong mom-son relationship is going to lead to disappointment.
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Apr 12, 2024 04:24
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- redshirt
- Aug 11, 2007
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What do you do with "I wore this shirt one day and I didn't sweat in it so I can wear it one more time before washing"? They don't belong in the clean clothes, they don't belong in the dirty clothes.
...So like 2 wears and its verboten??
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Apr 12, 2024 04:30
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- Lemniscate Blue
- Apr 21, 2006
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Here we go again.
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Because she was a 16 year old who fell for a 20 year old creepshow.
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Apr 12, 2024 04:38
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- compshateme85
- Jan 28, 2009
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Oh you like racoons? Name three of their songs. You dope.
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What do you do with "I wore this shirt one day and I didn't sweat in it so I can wear it one more time before washing"? They don't belong in the clean clothes, they don't belong in the dirty clothes.
Does it matter that they're not fresh-out-of-the-washer clean? Like, can't they go back to where they live until they need to go in the wash? If they can't, then they probably need a wash?
This is a way of dealing with clothes that I've never encountered before. I have clothes that get sequestered and re-worn because I'm doing a dirty project a couple days in a row (sanding a table, painting, etc), but that's it.
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Apr 12, 2024 05:31
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- Pantaloon Pontiff
- Jun 25, 2023
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What do you do with "I wore this shirt one day and I didn't sweat in it so I can wear it one more time before washing"? They don't belong in the clean clothes, they don't belong in the dirty clothes.
If it's a long-sleeve shirt that I wear over a t-shirt, it can go back on a hanger or (more likely) on a chair. If it's a t-shirt or a button-up shirt worn without a t-shirt, it goes in the laundry even if I don't see sweat on it.
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Apr 12, 2024 05:58
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- Jabor
- Jul 16, 2010
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#1 Loser at SpaceChem
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What do you do with "I wore this shirt one day and I didn't sweat in it so I can wear it one more time before washing"? They don't belong in the clean clothes, they don't belong in the dirty clothes.
It goes in the laundry hamper and gets washed. Clothes get dirty even if they managed to soak up all your sweat and so you never felt sweaty.
Maybe this is different in cold places? Idk.
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Apr 12, 2024 06:10
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- FMguru
- Sep 10, 2003
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peed on;
sexually
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RIP to a true hater
AITAH for not telling my son that his brother passed? (self.AITAH)
quote:Info:My youngest slept with his brothers wife. After my oldest found out he and his wife got a divorce and my youngest married her a year later.
My (56M) oldest son (33M) had cancer and passed away three weeks ago. Over the months leading up to his death, my youngest son (30M) and his wife had been trying to reconcile with my oldest, but he always made it known that he wanted nothing to do with them. He specifically told me that they were unforgiven, and he wouldn't forgive them just to ease their guilt. When I kept bringing up the idea of reconciling, he used to get mad at me, so I stopped trying. I just kept telling my youngest and his wife that they had to accept that he wanted nothing to do with them and they needed to move on.
When my oldest passed, I did not tell my youngest or his wife to honor his wishes. He always made it clear that they didn't deserve to mourn him in life and didn't deserve to mourn him in death either. About a week ago, my youngest saw his brother's obituary and called me, screaming for not telling him that his brother had passed. He told me that I denied him the opportunity to make things right and that I should've told him his brother passed.
I told him that it would be disrespectful for him to even come in the first place, as his brother wouldn't have wanted him there, and that he and his wife denied themselves from attending. He hung up on me and blocked my number. My wife told me that she feels guilty for not telling him and that we should've given him the opportunity to say goodbye to his brother.
I told her that I would just find it disrespectful of us to do so, as he made it clear that he didn't want them to come. She told me that she understands but she's upset that our youngest is mad at us and that we should just try to put everything behind us to heal. I told her that what our youngest did was unforgivable, and I was not going to allow him to disrespect his brother in life and in death as well.
My wife has been crying constantly because our son blocked us and she started blaming me as well. I'm hurt, but I don't regret what I did or even see what I did wrong. I feel like my youngest should just take accountability of his actions instead of blaming everyone else.
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Apr 12, 2024 06:21
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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Yeah we should have made the end of our older son's life shittier by letting his ex and his lovely brother show up and try to guilt him into assuaging their own guilt! -the mom, apparently
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Apr 12, 2024 06:24
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- deoju
- Jul 11, 2004
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All the pieces matter.
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Nap Ghost
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RIP to a true hater
AITAH for not telling my son that his brother passed? (self.AITAH)
33 years old, dying of cancer, and still refusing to grant absolution to your piece-of-poo poo brother. Hell yeah.
Dude showing spine from beyond the grave. Impressive.
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Apr 12, 2024 06:30
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- 3D Megadoodoo
- Nov 25, 2010
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If you’re just gossiping with whoever then sure, but if you’re talking about relationship stuff with a close friend/confidant?? As long as it isn’t the kind of close friend who immediately blabs all your poo poo to everyone I think it’s fine; people should be able to have outlets for that sort of thing.
If anyone told me "my wife is a lousy gently caress" I'd not want them to talk to me ever again.
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Apr 12, 2024 07:32
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- Shanghaied
- Oct 12, 2004
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BIG PAD
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If anyone told me "my wife is a lousy gently caress" I'd not want them to talk to me ever again.
Of course you wouldn't want to talk to that person again, because they're being disrespectful of their SO behind their back, and it reflects extremely poorly on them. It'd be the same if someone said "lol my husband can't cook an egg, he's such a [r-word] in the kitchen".
But as far as we know she wasn't being disrespectful. AFAIK she said he was not the greatest sex partner she'd had, but he had other qualities that she valued more. Nor did she get into any intimate details. Which is fine? It's her sex life too, and of course you can talk about your sex life with your friends, the positives and the negatives, as long as you keep things respectful. The whole "you can only ever talk about your sex life with your SO or a therapist" thing is just weird to me.
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Apr 12, 2024 08:46
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- 3D Megadoodoo
- Nov 25, 2010
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You're just wrong.
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Apr 12, 2024 08:51
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- Shanghaied
- Oct 12, 2004
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BIG PAD
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No, you
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Apr 12, 2024 08:53
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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My (27F) boyfriend (29M) of 3 years told me that every guy should get a paternity test for his kid, just to be sure he's not raising someone else's child. Is this something I should be okay with?
quote:A few days ago my boyfriend of three years shared a story he read on Reddit about a man discovering his seven-year-old daughter wasn't biologically his and subsequently abandoning both his wife and child without financial support. My boyfriend expressed agreement with the man's actions, stating he would have done the same. He pointed out the importance of paternity tests to avoid raising someone else's child. He continued by saying that nowadays you can’t be sure of anything as all women are h*es.
I asked if he’d do this test on our child (if we were to have one) and he said yes. I was a bit hurt. Does this mean that he considers me a person that cannot be trusted? I never gave him any reasons to think I would be capable of cheating.
In any case, I recognize the importance of having this test under certain circumstances, like preventing mix-ups between children. However, the way it was discussed seemed to emphasize fidelity concerns above all else.
Looking back, he would often express some sort of hatred for women, claiming they couldn't be trusted. At the time, I brushed it off, thinking it stemmed from past trauma or negative experiences. Now, I worry that his general hate towards women might also include me.
I don’t know how to feel about this.
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Apr 12, 2024 10:42
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- deoju
- Jul 11, 2004
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All the pieces matter.
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Nap Ghost
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quote:
He continued by saying that nowadays you can’t be sure of anything as all women are h*es...Does this mean that he considers me a person that cannot be trusted?... I asked if he’d do this test on our child (if we were to have one) and he said yes...
Looking back, he would often express some sort of hatred for women, claiming they couldn't be trusted... Now, I worry that his general hate towards women might also include me.
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Apr 12, 2024 10:57
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- Chef Boyardeez Nuts
- Sep 9, 2011
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The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
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Oh my sweet summer child. I hope redditors are connecting these dots for her.
They very much are. I enjoyed this anecdote:
a redditor posted:
I have a friend in my network who had been happily married for years. She finally got pregnant after they had been trying for a while. Like six months into her pregnancy, her husband pulled the "I just have to be sure" nonsense. She refused unless he was prepared to do something equally extreme. She was willing to accept a lie detector test, a forensic interview with a psychiatrist, or going through his phone and computer, another option he suggested, etc. Suddenly he felt attacked and like it was unfair that she didn't trust him.
They ended up getting divorced because he showed his true colors, and this was just part of it.
 Casual implication of unfaithfulness was meant for the goose, not me the gander
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Apr 12, 2024 11:46
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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Wife (24F) Claims She Lost Feelings for Me (24M) Because of a Dumb Joke - PPD or Something Else?
quote:
I’m in a bit of a pickle here and could use some advice. My wife and I recently welcomed a baby into the world, and while we were getting ready to visit her parents, I made a dumb joke – something pretty normal in our relationship.
She put mismatched socks on the baby and I said, "Looks like you've already started dressing the baby like a mini fashion disaster." It was lighthearted.
She got incredibly mad, refused to go, and said she lost feelings for me because of that joke. Now, this is so out of character for her. We've been together since high school, weathered through so much together – long distance, the loss of a pregnancy, you name it. We've always had a super healthy relationship, with the occasional fight but never anything serious.
I thought it might be postpartum depression (PPD), but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I tried talking to her about it, but she insists it's just since I made her mad. I even reached out to her mom, who agrees that it's strange and there's probably more to it.
So here I am, feeling lost and confused. Any advice on how to approach this situation? Could it really just be about that dumb joke, or should I be considering other possibilities like PPD or something else entirely? Any similar experiences or insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
UPDATE: Happy Ending!
After apologizing again to my wife a while ago and expressing my regret over the joke, she opened up and things took a positive turn. She started crying and admitted that she didn't mean what she said about losing feelings for me, and she was regretting it since but didn’t know how to approach me about it.
It turns out, she's been struggling with feelings of insecurity about her role as a mother, and it's been weighing heavily on her mind. We had a heart-to-heart, and she apologized for "taking it out on me."
I assured her that I wasn't upset with her and that I understood she's just overwhelmed right now, and she didn’t do anything wrong.
I asked her if the comment was hurtful, she said that while it might have been pretty silly, it didn’t hurt her feelings.
We've decided to take some time for ourselves tonight and leave the baby with my parents while we go out for dinner. It's important to support each other during this time.
To those who were quick to judge or criticise and started flaming me, I want to clarify that while the comment may have been ill-timed, it obviously wasn't the reason for the misunderstanding which is why I was confused. I don't believe one silly joke is enough to nuke any strong relationship…
It was interesting to read some of the judgemental comments after I got her perspective though.
Thanks to the others for your support and understanding. There were a lot of helpful people here.
I did bring up that I was concerned about her mental state, and she agreed to getting screened.
EDIT #2: something I should have mentioned is that this is not her first pregnancy, I’ve seen her deal with PPD before. This didn’t happen, but I have seen how horrific it can be. I didn’t pull PPD out of my rear end to shirk responsibility…
EDIT #3: Dinner Date Update
After our heart-to-heart conversation, my wife and I had an amazing dinner date. It was so refreshing to have some quality time together, just the two of us, without the usual distractions. We talked about everything under the sun – from our hopes and dreams for our little one to our plans for the future. It felt like we were reconnecting on a deeper level, reaffirming our bond and commitment to each other.
We laughed, we reminisced, and we even shed a few happy tears. It was a much-needed reminder of why we fell in love in the first place and how strong our relationship truly is. Plus, the food was delicious!
Overall, it was a beautiful evening that brought us even closer together. She’s also feeling more optimistic about the future and her role as a mother, and feels assured that I’m ready to support her in whatever challenges come our way as a team.
EDIT #4: Addressing Criticism
To those who criticized me and labeled me as a bad husband or judged me harshly for ONE interaction with my wife:
Firstly, you guys are loving insane.
Secondly, not that I need to explain myself, but want to address your concerns directly. While I understand that my comment may have been ill-timed and insensitive, it's important to note that it was not the root cause of the misunderstanding with my wife AT ALL. Nor is there history of me making a “slew” of demeaning comments about her, as some people have suggested or assumed.
It was simply a way to notify her that she accidentally put the wrong socks on the baby, that I thought would maybe make her smile and I’m sure it would have on a normal day.
We are very supportive of each other, so to also suggest that I’m a bad father and failing to father my child and help the mother of my child out judging from one, ill-timed silly comment. My wife has never had an issue with my fathering of our child, and that was made pretty clear in the initial post that we are healthy.
As I mentioned earlier, our relationship has always been strong, and we've weathered many storms together.
The reason I sought advice and considered other possibilities like postpartum depression (PPD) was because my wife's reaction was completely out of character for her. If something bothers either of us, we tend to tell each other - not have emotional outbursts. And joking around with each other has always been normal.
I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but rather explore all possible reasons behind her sudden change in behavior. This comes from a place of concern for the mental and physical wellbeing of my wife after birthing a literal human that she carried for 9 months.
I assure you that I take my role as a husband and father seriously, and I am committed to supporting my wife through whatever challenges she may face, whether it's PPD or otherwise. Our recent heart-to-heart conversation allowed us to address deeper issues and reaffirm our love and commitment to each other.
I really do appreciate those who offered supportive advice and understanding. I haven’t taken any of the criticism to heart - it’s laughable really- but the empathy and encouragement mean a lot, especially to a new father and as someone relatively young and inexperienced in a marriage even if it’s been years. Thanks.
I suppose this is the internet and people either want drama, hence the “ha! You’re headed to divorce in the future” and “deadbeat dad” accusations, or they’re pushing their own agendas so it’s not that serious and should have been expected. I’m strong-headed, but some people are not so much. Just think what your comments could do to someone sincerely worried about someone in their relationship and seeking advice and similar experiences……be kinder, be more understanding and mature, just do better.
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Apr 12, 2024 11:48
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- Shanghaied
- Oct 12, 2004
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BIG PAD
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My "I take my role as a husband and father seriously" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
And I don't know, while I don't think it's anything to go to pieces for, it was kind of mean-spirited. It was barely a joke. Like in what way was it a joke?
Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Apr 12, 2024
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Apr 12, 2024 13:04
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 17, 2024 02:39
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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My "I take my role as a husband and father seriously" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
And I don't know, while I don't think it's anything to go to pieces for, it was kind of mean-spirited. It was barely a joke. Like in what way was it a joke?
lol
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Apr 12, 2024 13:18
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Apr 12, 2024 01:47
