r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Stealing this from someone who responded to food kink couple�s post but this is their vibe lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF7wGZ7fmJ0

Brain Curry posted:

Old el paso queso

Not narrowing it down

# ? Apr 15, 2024 23:56

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 23:07

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

How you personally feel about the tradition barely even factors into this. Don't agree to something and then back out when it actually comes time to do the thing, especially if you agreeing to do the thing gave you leeway or control in other matters. The guy's obviously proud of this tradition and finds it meaningful, so rugpulling now is pretty much you saying you think the thing he's always found important and a part of his identity is actually bad. It's hosed up.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:00

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

Scathach posted:

E wait do yall not shower with your spouses? That's what having two shower heads is for, spraying your spouse in the face.

I'm over a full foot taller than my partner which makes even 2 shower heads inconvenient, so we just don't.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:01

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

I'm over a full foot taller than my partner which makes even 2 shower heads inconvenient, so we just don't.

Hmm I hadn't considered that. That sucks. I got a spouse of the same height which is just plain lucky.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:02

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

my curse of being down for short thick baddies has some downsides, but mostly upsides

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:04

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Indecisive posted:

Yea you aren't just the rear end in a top hat for kicking out your friend who you creeped out you're the rear end in a top hat for doing that in front of her to begin with. Keep your exhibitionism fetish in check, send that poo poo to tiktok or something im sure theres plenty of perverts who want to watch

It sounds like two babies trying to feed each other. Open wide, here comes the choo-choo train! Now they just need to progress to sitting in high chairs and wearing bibs.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:07

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Scathach posted:

E wait do yall not shower with your spouses? That's what having two shower heads is for, spraying your spouse in the face.

In true Goon fashion, I chose to die alone instead. I always thought the second shower head was to get your rear end clean.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:16

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Being obsessed with calling your son John Smith IV is just funny unless you actually have some kind of actual family legacy or royalty.

Outside of european royalty it seems to just be a US thing. Maybe it's just that middle class form of aspiration?

But still, she's in the wrong for agreeing with it (and getting the benefit) and now reneging

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:23

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Okay the people feeding each other are totally exhibitionists with a kink, right?

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:28

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I don�t know, maybe if a few more people ask the same question.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:40

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

edgeman83 posted:

All I could think of is the main character from Weird Al's Albuquerque:

yea but that only lasts until some big fat hermaphrodite with a flock of seagulls haircut and only one nostril breaks intro your hotel room and steals your lucky snorkel

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:45

Call Your Grandma: Jan 17, 2010

I just want to say that all boobie sizes are equally cherished in the eyes of our prophet muhammad.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 00:46

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife because she got a reduction?

I found a video of OP - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krOqfliRT88

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:03

Roseo: Jun 1, 2000; Forum Veteran

This has gotta be bait.

Post history:
Should I (19f) trust my boyfriend (35m)????

Deleted, but great trolling in the user's replies:

I�m confused how everyone thinks I�m just some dumb immature child. I am not 15. I am old enough to join the army, old enough to own a house and be on my own. I don�t see the big issue with my age here.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:09

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Two shower heads? What on earth are y'all talking about?

Also, content, 'cause y'all need car jesus.

AITA for Refusing to Let My 16-Year-Old Cousin Drive My New-To-Me Ford Mustang Shelby GT500?

quote:

I recently purchased a new-to-me 2022 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500, which has been nothing but amazing for me. I recently attended a family event. What should have been a fun family gathering took an unexpected turn when my 16-year-old cousin expressed interest in driving it at the dinner table.

The Mustang, with its over 700 horsepower is no where near being easy to drive, hence the endless amount of clips online of Mustangs crashing. While I trusted my cousin's driving skills, the gravity of the situation made me hesitant. Despite my internal conflict, I couldn't ignore the gut-wrenching concern for safety that gnawed at me.

Upon respectfully declining my cousin's request to drive the GT500, I explained my apprehensions, emphasizing the need for caution when handling such a powerful vehicle. To my relief, he understood and respected my decision, acknowledging the risks involved.

I proposed an alternative, my cousin could drive my Toyota GR Corolla, a safer option considering its much lower power numbers and AWD. It is essentially a rally car for the road based off the standard Corolla but much faster. Still no where near fit for a new driver, but closer to the kinds of cars he was used to and I know he could handle it. Eagerly, he accepted the compromise, showing understanding and maturity beyond his years. Though still cautious, I wanted to accommodate his wish within my comfort zone.

However, despite the compromise, my entitled aunt remained insistent that her son should drive the GT500. Brushing off my concerns, she argued that he was a capable driver and would be fine. This clash of perspectives escalated into a larger argument, polarizing the family along opposing viewpoints.

While my parents and sister supported my stance, believing in prioritizing safety and responsibility, my entitled aunt's side of the family disagreed vehemently. Accusations of unnecessary caution and overbearing behavior were hurled my way, creating a deep divide within the family. I�ve gotten a million texts about how much of a stuck up a-hole I am from various family members.

As I navigate this complex family dilemma and reflect on the fallout, I question whether my decision to prioritize safety and set boundaries was justified. Was I being overly cautious, or was my entitled aunt disregarding crucial safety concerns for her own gratification? Your diverse insights and advice are invaluable as I seek resolution in this challenging situation.

Also I�m using an alt just because.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:12

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Quackles posted:

AITA for Refusing to Let My 16-Year-Old Cousin Drive My New-To-Me Ford Mustang Shelby GT500?

Your diverse insights and advice are invaluable as I seek resolution in this challenging situation.

Why does this person write like this? Was this written by an AI?

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

hazbin hotel: not even once

Even the show makes a pretty clear point about what that character has gone through is pretty horrible and not funny, with obvious trauma resulting from it.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:20

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

Quackles posted:

\Also, content, 'cause y'all need car jesus.

AITA for Refusing to Let My 16-Year-Old Cousin Drive My New-To-Me Ford Mustang Shelby GT500?

this content was graciously sponsored by the Ford corporation

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:21

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLvpLbQwAM4

Lmao this whole scene is amazing

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:35

Brain Curry: Feb 15, 2007; People think that I'm lazy
People think that I'm this fool because
I give a fuck about the government
I didn't graduate from high school

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Not narrowing it down

New York City style https://youtu.be/Gi6AFz2fbr8

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:42

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

AITA for refusing to cancel on an event when my gf asked me to?

quote:

So I am a dungeon master for DnD

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:44

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Even the show makes a pretty clear point about what that character has gone through is pretty horrible and not funny, with obvious trauma resulting from it.

All I can really say from watching the show was that it was okay but kinda cringe tumblr theatre kid esque and seems perfectly engineered to inspire a lot of incredibly weird/horny people to have strong feelings about it that will become extremely funny posts

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Brain Curry posted:

New York City style https://youtu.be/Gi6AFz2fbr8

I�m imagining this is the Glanton gang

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:48

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

AITA for informing my children that my wife will be getting the inheritance

quote:

I have three kids, they are all adults with their own lives. My late wife ( their mother) passed while they were highschool/college years. Around 5 years later I started to date my now wife Kelly.

They have never liked Kelly, and they never gave her a chance. They were not happy I was dating and even more unhappy when I was getting married. I have been married to her for about 7 years now. She really hasn’t done anything to make them dislike her so much.

I bought the house when I was married to my late wife, when she passed I continued to pay the mortgage. Kelly moved in and sold her old place and basically paid off the rest of the home. We split the other bill now.

Anyways both of our wills give basically everything to eachother. I have some sentimental stuff that will go to the kids. The big stuff, will go to her and the same for me if she passes.

I was at dinner and the kids asked about my will. I informed them of the plan and they were really upset. This started an argument that the childhood home goes to my wife. They think I am a huge jerk and believe it should go to them. One made a comment about kicking her out when they got the home, which solutions my stance.

They think I am a huge jerk, and I think it’s pretty obvious I would leave my wife the house that she helped pay for to her

They already got their mothers money, it was used to pay for their colleges years ago

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:52

Harold Fjord: Jan 3, 2004

Sponsored AI posters will be easy to recognize because they will sound exactly like the Subway character from Community.

"Dark Souls is definitely one of my favorite games. I like things that are more difficult than the average person can handle. Like driving my 700 horsepower Ford Mustang"

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:53

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

...am I the only one who doesn't mind the two people feeding each other? I mean, yeah it's kind of cringey, but I'm not sure where people are getting overtly sexual themes from- it just seems like some overly cutesy romantic stuff to me. Maybe it'd warrant an eye roll at best, perhaps some gossip later about how googly-eyed the two were, and some gentle ribbing at the office (assuming one or both worked in the same office I do), but that's it.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:55

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

AceClown posted:

AITA for refusing to cancel on an event when my gf asked me to?

lmao

Got curious and looked it up:

quote:

So I am a dungeon master for DnD and I host a session once a month (the last Friday of every month) for 3 hours. We've missed 5 sessions in row.

In December my gf was upset with me for not being more festive for Christmas. In January 3 out of the 5 people couldn't attend so I had to cancel. In February my gf had a family even she really wanted us to attend on the day we were supposed to have a session. In March I had 4 out of the 5 people tell me they couldn't attend and the last session we were supposed to have fell on Good Friday and my gf wanted to spend the day together.

Since we missed the last session I told my group I would make a small change and I told them we'd do a session on Friday April 12 instead of the end of the month. They all agreed and I changed the event in mine and my gf's shared calendar.

My gf didn't check and last Friday she wanted to go for a long walk. I told her I couldn't go because I had promised my group we'd do DnD. My gf was sad and said she was really looking forward to a walk because the weather had really improved but I told her I wasn't going to change it because we've already missed nearly half a year of DnD. She said it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game and I told her it wasn't just a game and I spent so much time working on it. She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.

I told her I was going to do my session and we'd go for a walk on Saturday. Unfortunately for Saturday it was raining for most of the day and it was really windy on Sunday. I know shes mad at me and I don't think it's fair.

Okay, obviously she sucks.

Same OP had another post from three weeks ago that he deleted:

AITA for raising my voice at my girlfriend after I messed up?

quote:

I work from home and my gf has to physically go into work. I bring this up because it's easier for me to get started on dinner and I can stay up late to clean before I go to bed. I also bring this up because I try to synch up my video game time for when my gf falls asleep.

In the past I've been known to forget things. Like I might leave a dirty plate on the drying rack just to keep it there for a minute and then forget it's there or I would forget to put something back in the fridge but I've worked on this.

Last night after my gf fell asleep, I decided to switch things up and I cleaned up first and then I went to play some video games. At the same time I also made some chips in our air fryer. When the chips were finished, I took out the tray and I placed the chips on a plate, but I forgot to clean the tray. When my gf saw this in the morning she woke me up and started yelling at me for forgetting to put the tray away. I apologized but she kept going and I started to get upset and I raised my voice (I didn't yell) and I told her how unfair she was being because I forgot one thing even though I have worked on making sure to remember going forward and that it wasn't fair for her to be like this over one item I forgot to clean and put back.

Now she wants me to get some stuff together for me to go to my moms place because she doesn't want me here when she comes back.

quote:

I know I didn't write this as well as I could have but this does happen from time to time where I might forget to put something back or clean something. I have taken note of it and I am working on it. One of the things I do is scan to see if everything is done but last night I deviated by cleaning first and gaming after. If I had to really think about it I think the last thing I forgot was 2.5-3 weeks ago when I forgot the salt shaker on the dinner table.

YTA for putting a dirty dish on the drying rack

# ? Apr 16, 2024 01:55

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

All I can really say from watching the show was that it was okay but kinda cringe tumblr theatre kid esque and seems perfectly engineered to inspire a lot of incredibly weird/horny people to have strong feelings about it that will become extremely funny posts

You're not wrong, it's just funnier when they completely miss the points the show itself makes in service of being drama elementals.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 02:11

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Before I can decide who is the rear end in a top hat is it New Mexico or Arizona queso?

Chili queso, Cincinnati style

# ? Apr 16, 2024 02:37

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Quackles posted:

Content!

AITA for walking out of a dinner after being accused of supporting incest?

The show in question: Loki, with the relationship being between Loki and Sylvie, his female alternate self from another timeline.

AITA for walking out of a dinner after being accused of supporting incest?

lots of replies arguing whether the show loki is about incest or not

Update that we haven't seen in thread:

quote:

Hi everyone. First, thank you all for your comments and advice on my last post. It's been about 4 weeks since the incident at the dinner, and I just wanted to give you guys an update if you're curious.

First off, I just want to say that I have no hard feelings toward my friends who said that I should've stayed. I get me leaving was probably the best thing to do in that situation, but their intentions were purely good: to make sure that Sarah enjoyed her birthday dinner.

I reached out to Sarah and apologized for what happened, and for me leaving so abruptly. She said that I didn't need to apologize and said that all was good between us. I took her out for drinks. We had a great time.

Now, onto Mary. Since the dinner, I have been texting and calling her, just to talk about what happened. So far, she has either ignored my texts and calls, or given me very short responses, either telling me that she doesn't want to talk to me, or that she's busy. Sarah told me that she also reached out to Mary, and while she was actually willing to talk to Sarah, the conversation pretty much went nowhere. Amy also reached out to her. Like many of you were wondering, she asked her if she was a victim of incest. I mean, It would make sense based on her reaction. However, according to Mary herself, no, she wasn't. As far as I know, she isn't bisexual either, so it just seems she's throwing a tantrum over things that have nothing to do with her. Or it's possible that she's been spending too much time in online fandoms, but who knows.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 02:47

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

R/relationships: it's possible that she's been spending too much time in online fandoms

# ? Apr 16, 2024 02:54

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I feel like even knowing the word fandom is too much

# ? Apr 16, 2024 02:58

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

The word�s been around for over a hundred years.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:01

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

hawowanlawow posted:

I feel like even knowing the word fandom is too much

Wait until you find out what findoms are

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:03

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Pope Corky the IX posted:

The word�s been around for over a hundred years.

it's worse than I thought

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:11

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Extremely long post for extremely low stakes

AITA for watching the first episode

quote:

My wife 26f and I 27m like to watch TV and movies together. We frequently pause and have a great time. We discuss and review the stuff we watch and normally enjoy the days/nights we spend watching nearly anything.
Context: For the last week or two my wife and I have been on separate schedules. Besides two days last week when she got her wisdom tooth removed we've hardly been able to see each other. Alot has come out in the past few weeks: the Hazbin hotel show, youtube drama vids, and news on titles I really enjoy. The one that matters for this story is the avatar the last Airbender live action show.
Leading up to its release we've talked about the show. I was optimistic and totally ready for some cgi kungfu. My wife on the other hand was far more critical. We are both familiar with the drama around the show but I still had some hope. The one peice adaptation being the crutch to my cope.
Needless to say I was excited yesterday. I thought that my wife might even be off work that day and left work early, only to basically pass her. She left for work just before I got home. After realizing I was gonna be alone all night and probably be asleep before she got home I figured I'd just chill.
Playing videogames and watching YouTube for the most part. At some point around 5ish I started seeing videos talking about the first episode of the show and reviews. All I could think was "Crap, I'm gonna have to make sure I don't watch any of these. Don't want it spoiled."
The interest was to much. And I just wanted to know if it was gonna be slop or not. Some youtubers had episodes on just the first episode so I figured I'd just watch it and watch the rest with my wife.
Well, I confessed to my wife this afternoon that I'd watched the first episode. My bosses, their boss and one other co worker where all eating some pizza when I told her. She didn't blow up at me or nothin, but she did get upset. It got so awkward.l that I excused my self to go clock out on lunch and she just walked off.
She explained that she's upset and that she wanted first impressions to be a us thing. I totally get it but I don't even know when we where going to be able to spend a night together next. I get that it's a bummer but I don't understand how she could be so upset about it. It's just the one episode and I had the impression she wasn't looking forward to watching it.
I'm honestly just hoping she's not actually that mad. Not sure if she is or not. I definitely don't want her to be upset but I don't think I've done anything so wrong that it warrants the sturn looks and disappointment. Hopefully it's nothing. I'll update if anything changes.
Update
Whoah! Not like this is front page material or anything, but I didn't expect even one comment tbh.
A few things. I apologized, pretty quick. After my break, I went back to work and had a few interactions with my wife and co-workers. I wanted to wait until I clocked out so I could apologize.
We talked, and she filled me in on her side of things, so I'll just tell it in order.
On my break, I typed up the post. Truth is that typing it up was more just me putting my thoughts "on paper" in a way. Didn't know who to talk to about this since to me (at the time) it wasn't that big of a deal. By the time I finished typing it up, I had already decided to apologize. If nothing else, then because I felt bad that my wife was upset with me.
Wile I was on break, my wife was P.O'ed. She ended up talking to our store manager B. Telling him what I did and that she was very, very upset with me.
I sent my wife my schedule for the next two weeks, and she got a look at it. Even though she was mad at me, she still wanted to know when (if at all) we were gonna actually see each other next. Apparently, my boss put me in for a closing shift and an opening shift he next day.
He's done this before, and I've tried to be curious about the whole thing. I wanna be there for my bosses, but sometimes my wife thinks that it's a bit too much. Same for me, honestly, but I normally just soldier forward since I don't pay enough attention to my own schedule.
Long story short, she complained to my boss. Got my schedule fixed! Hopefully. She told my boss that "(my husband) is lucky that I'm helping him. I'm so pissed at him." And explained what was going on to him and my assistant manager.
Not to long after I come back from break and my boss tells me to cut some eye round steaks and keep cutting ribeyes until it's time for me to go home. My asst manager providing support while I work. All was chill, just me wondering what I should say to my wife and dreading the possibility of her rejection, until my store manager B came up to my station. He said "you hosed up pal. You know it's serious that I know about it. Don't you know you are supposed to lie about having watched the show?!"
I didn't agree with lying to my wife. Regardless, he told me I was in the dog house for sure. B and my ast manager got a lot of digs in on me. Saying I broke a cardinal sin in watching the show at all without her.
The cardinal sin of watching the episode without my partner was not something Id never been told about. And around five, I apologized to my wife.
I explained that I didn't want to hurt her feelings and that I thought she wasn't even interested in the show. She told me that her digz and criticisms of the trailers were purely to temper her expectations of the show. We came to an understanding and even had a laugh about some of you guys who commented on the post.
We were both unsure if we where over reacting or acting unreasonable. I typed some stuff up on reddit, and she talked to my bosses. In the end, we promised to watch the show tonight in a binge. Might even look at the comments to see how many of you guys said that "you basically cheated on her" and "you're spoiled" xD I may have taken a peek more when I got home.
But for real. Thanks for reading and letting me rant this day out with you guys. It's wild to find out my boss B is ok with lying to his wife and that everyone but me that knew about the don't watch shows without you're partner, rule. Some of you all gotta take a pill tho fr fr

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:13

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Holy gently caress that's a lot of words for being upset over a show. drat lady just watch it the next night with him.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:25

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

"some of y'all gotta chill" after putting in that many words over this tiny-rear end problem.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:29

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Extremely long post for extremely low stakes

AITA for watching the first episode

Well that certainly was a lot of words amounting to inconsequential drivel.

At least the two sentences I managed to read before my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I went temporarily blind.

The_Franz fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Apr 16, 2024

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 23:07

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

AITA for watching the first episode

These mini Novels are great. They put me right to sleep.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 03:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

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