r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

mystes: May 31, 2006

the holy poopacy posted:

This one is especially egregious because his logic is that she was lying about not being interested in a massage... because she already had had one and therefore had to be interested in massages, which could only mean she was up to something shady by pretending she didn't want a massage!

I was actually confused on the first read through because the fact that OP was saying she was lying would seem to imply that it happened after she said she didn't want a massage which does not appear to be the case, and it doesn't seem like she ever said that she had never gotten a massage or anything like that

But I guess it's like what StrangersInTheNight said.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 15:46

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# ? May 20, 2024 23:38

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The 'I hate massages' (but not really) sounds like a sitcom plot.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 15:55

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for telling my dad I judge his actions more harshly now that I'm a widowered parent too?

quote:

I (26m) lost my wife, Annie, over a year ago when our two children were only 18 months and 4 years old. She was only 25. I lost my own mom when I was 5 so I have been where my children are and my heart aches for them as well as for myself and for Annie, who so desperately wanted to be here for our kids. She lost her own dad when she was 6 so the reality of history repeating hit her incredibly hard before the end. I vowed to her, to myself and to our children that I would not make the same mistakes my dad and her mom made in the aftermath.

I'm mostly estranged from my dad but after Annie died he reached out to tell me he hoped I understood him better and cut him some slack for everything. I didn't respond to him at the time because I was in the most immediate sense of grief still. Today it's still raw but I'm in therapy to try and find peace in my life.

He reached out to me a few more times and he apologized for his initial message. We met up a few days ago per his request. Once he realized I still wear my wedding ring and once he realized I was still grieving, he tried telling me I needed to move on and start looking for love again. This led to tension in the meeting and I told him to drop it or else. Which is when he started saying he would hope I would see why he remarried so fast after my mom died and why he was so happy with his second wife and why he felt I needed a mother like he was so sure I felt my kids needed. Saying I hated him for being happier and loving his second wife more but I should understand better now. I should understand that life has to move on and wanting to embrace a new person fully is not a bad thing. I'm a widowered parent and that should have opened my eyes and made me regret hating him for so long. I told him it didn't work that way. That it only made me judge his actions more harshly.

He was stunned to hear this. He asked me how I was ever going to find someone else to love me and the kids if I'm hung up on Annie and I told him Annie was the love of my life. I told him my children are the other two loves of my life but in a different way to Annie. It's my job to give them safety, security, love and the best life I can make happen. I told him I would never look my young children in the eye and tell them their mother is dead and they need to get over it and accept a new mother. I will never yell at my children for crying for their mother because it makes the new spouse unhappy. I told him I'm not looking to give them a new mother. I'm looking to give them the best version of the dad they have and the best out of this lovely life we have been given. I told him I will never rub it in their faces the way he did to me that I love someone else way more than I ever loved their mom. I told him I understand grieving and needing to focus on yourself but not hurting your children by trying to erase the parent they love.

He called me an rear end in a top hat and I left. And I wondered since if I was too harsh.

AITA?

Hi son I heard your wife died do you understand how correct I was now?

# ? Apr 16, 2024 15:56

Lieutenant Dan: Oct 27, 2009; Weedlord Bonerhitler

Pope Corky the IX posted:

What kind of café is it?

Crab Cakes n' Brut

# ? Apr 16, 2024 15:59

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling my dad I judge his actions more harshly now that I'm a widowered parent too?

Hi son I heard your wife died do you understand how correct I was now?

Now, son, you finally understand the truth: that getting your dick wet is much, much more important than raising children.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 16:00

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

AceClown posted:

AITA for using my family�s Montana ranch for a corporate retreat without asking?

quote:

In my defense, I argued that the ranch was being underutilized and that this retreat could help with its upkeep costs.

A little vague, but if this is admitting to using corporate funds to benefit his family, then your promotion might be short-lived my guy, lol

# ? Apr 16, 2024 16:18

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

*seeing my DIL died on Facebook*

:smug:

I�m about to own my son so hard

# ? Apr 16, 2024 16:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

AITA for telling my dad that I'm not his replacememt wife?

quote:

My (f16) mom passed away recently. my brother (m14) and dad are so devastated by this tragic loss and we are struggling.

I've basically found myself handling all chores and work around the house - my brother is too traumatized he hasn't been talking since the funeral and my dad hasn't been lifting a finger and do a single thing. He started making requests from cleaning the messy living room (he sleeps on the couch) to picking up dirty laundry to doing dishes, cooking or ordering food, walking the dogs, vacumming, doing repairs, mowing the lawn, washing the car since my brother stopped doing it.

I'm too exhausted often times. Mom used to do the chores and I used to help but I have school and after school committements and my dad keeps negatively commenting on how I get things done and compare me to mom like how much time I take to make breakfast etc.

Yesterday he woke me up at 6am even though he told me to skip school and wanted me to make breakfast. I scrambled eggs and prepared other dishes then went to wake my brother up. I set the table and once dad sit down he looks at the scrambled eggs and goes "what is this? This is not the right way to make scrambled eggs. Your mother used to make perfect scrambled eggs. Did you not learn anything from her at all? How are we supposed to survive if you can't even properly make scrambled eggs?" He looks at my brother and says "we're doomed".

I snap and loudly tell him I'm not his replacement wife to expect me to do this and that for him. He looks at me stunned and my brother rushes out immediately. Dad starts telling me how cruel and insensitive what I just said and how out of line I was. I reply that I was too tired to make 'the perfect scrambled eggs" my mom used to make and that maybe if he as a parent had tried to learn we wouldn't be suffering right now. He gets up throws the towel and walks out.

My aunt came to visit and when I told her she went off saying I should have never said that to my grieving dad and that I should be ashamed of myself for talking to him like that.
AITA?

Sitcom dad accidentally finds a portal into the wrong genre

More info in the comments: Dad is unemployed, does zero chores, won�t allow his kids to go to therapy because they need to �grieve naturally.�

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Apr 16, 2024

# ? Apr 16, 2024 16:23

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

AITA for telling my dad that I'm not his replacememt wife?

Sitcom dad accidentally finds a portal into the wrong genre

More info in the comments: Dad is unemployed, does zero chores, won�t allow his kids to go to therapy because they need to �grieve naturally.�

well, he wasn't wrong when he said "we're doomed"

# ? Apr 16, 2024 16:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Okay, so what's funny or entertaining about that one? He's pulling his sixteen year old daughter out of school to replace his dead wife and then inviting his fourteen year old son to join in on the emotional abuse, in addition to denying them both therapy.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:13

mystes: May 31, 2006

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Okay, so what's funny or entertaining about that one? He's pulling his sixteen year old daughter out of school to replace his dead wife and then inviting his fourteen year old son to join in on the emotional abuse, in addition to denying them both therapy.

Is it a requirement that stuff posted in this thread has to be "funny" rather than interestingly horrifying or something?

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:16

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It's not, I'm just trying to figure out if there's anything in that one other than child abuse. I could be overreacting.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:19

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Okay, so what's funny or entertaining about that one? He's pulling his sixteen year old daughter out of school to replace his dead wife and then inviting his fourteen year old son to join in on the emotional abuse, in addition to denying them both therapy.

Since when does a story need to be funny? Other emotions being evoked are valid and can be therapeutic. Obviously there's a line where nobody wants to read horror stories about abuse or violence, but in this case it seems like the writer has a good understanding of the bad situation and is going to get support and advice from people

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:21

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

mystes posted:

Is it a requirement that stuff posted in this thread has to be "funny" rather than interestingly horrifying or something?

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:23

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

It is pretty outrageous

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:26

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

There's a guy in my city who lives "off grid" and doesn't use money. Local paper even did this fluff piece on what a cool off grid anti-capitalist he is and he's just so cool and down to earth for living his life purely off barter and never using money, not having a bank account, and not working a regular job.

Turns out the reason he doesn't use money is that he's a deadbeat dad who's one weird trick to avoiding child support wage garnishment is to simply never have money. He's also an outspoken holocaust denier and general alt-right piece of poo poo.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:28

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It's not, I'm just trying to figure out if there's anything in that one other than child abuse. I could be overreacting.

If you want excuses to enforce unwritten and ever shifting rules based on vague interpretations you could just be a mod on Reddit directly. I was wondering why the thread was dead compared to a few years ago.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:29

Lieutenant Dan: Oct 27, 2009; Weedlord Bonerhitler

I dated a guy who was mostly "off-grid" except for his roommate's Hulu account and actually owning a phone. He got paid $9 under the table to dig holes in an old guy's back yard and when he got heatstroke one day, the old guy handed him a Gatorade instead of sending him to the hospital. ...I hope he's doing better now

edit: Yes I asked why the guy needed constant holes and the answer was "Gardening" and not "Bodies" unfortunately

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:31

mystes: May 31, 2006

Baronjutter posted:

There's a guy in my city who lives "off grid" and doesn't use money. Local paper even did this fluff piece on what a cool off grid anti-capitalist he is and he's just so cool and down to earth for living his life purely off barter and never using money, not having a bank account, and not working a regular job.

Turns out the reason he doesn't use money is that he's a deadbeat dad who's one weird trick to avoiding child support wage garnishment is to simply never have money. He's also an outspoken holocaust denier and general alt-right piece of poo poo.

With the concern about photos and stuff I wouldn't be surprised if the person in the reddit post has a warrant out for his arrest and is living under a false identity or something

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:32

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

If you want excuses to enforce unwritten and ever shifting rules based on vague interpretations you could just be a mod on Reddit directly. I was wondering why the thread was dead compared to a few years ago.

Did you purposely ignore the second sentence in the post you quoted? Did I probe anyone? That one seemed particularly upsetting, but obviously it's not an opinion held by others.

EDIT: Also, the thread was a lot more active a few years ago because half the posts were people arguing with Arbitrary C or Three Olives or Pick.

Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 17:37 on Apr 16, 2024

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:35

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

mystes posted:

With the concern about photos and stuff I wouldn't be surprised if the person in the reddit post has a warrant out for his arrest and is living under a false identity or something

In that�s guys case im sure a sort of registry is involved.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:35

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Did you purposely ignore the second sentence in the post you quoted? Did I probe anyone? That one seemed particularly upsetting, but obviously it's not an opinion held by others.

EDIT: Also, the thread was a lot more active a few years ago because half the posts were people arguing with Arbitrary C or Three Olives or Pick.

I apologize for the snarky tone of my previous post.

I think you are overreacting.

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Apr 16, 2024

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:40

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

post cooler things idk,

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:44

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

I apologize for the snarky tone of my previous post.

I think you are overreacting.

Thank you, and I see that and apologize.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 17:53

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I honestly think a rule that there should be something funny in each post would be good. I dip in and out of this thread because unfunny abuse stories are not particularly interesting to me, nor do they feel good to read.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:01

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

why do the people who want to post abuse stories want that? not sarcasm. genuine autism question. is it like "this is a learning experience showing what abuse looks like" or is it fun or what, genuinely

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:16

Slo-Tek: Jun 8, 2001; WINDOWS 98 BEAT HIS FRIEND WITH A SHOVEL

InediblePenguin posted:

why do the people who want to post abuse stories want that? not sarcasm. genuine autism question. is it like "this is a learning experience showing what abuse looks like" or is it fun or what, genuinely

Engagement. People pay attention to car wrecks. They say "wow, I thought I knew what a car wreck was like, but the details are compelling to me". People post things because they want response, either "that was useful/edifying/cool", or "that was hosed up, this is what I think". People engage with funny poo poo, people engage with awful poo poo. On the internet, and to a surprising extent in real life, engagement is engagement.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:24

The Diddler: Jun 22, 2006

InediblePenguin posted:

why do the people who want to post abuse stories want that? not sarcasm. genuine autism question. is it like "this is a learning experience showing what abuse looks like" or is it fun or what, genuinely

I'm gonna be real: I've learned a ton about what is and isn't abuse via this thread. I've never had to deal with most of this stuff.

EDIT: that said, i'm not here specifically to learn and this thread isn't here to teach, it's just been a bonus while giggling at the fun stuff

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:25

mystes: May 31, 2006

The Diddler posted:

I'm gonna be real: I've learned a ton about what is and isn't abuse via this thread. I've never had to deal with most of this stuff.

EDIT: that said, i'm not here specifically to learn and this thread isn't here to teach, it's just been a bonus while giggling at the fun stuff

I guess I also find it interesting to think about what it's ok for people to do and what's not ok in random situations that I haven't personally encountered and have never thought about before

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:27

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

InediblePenguin posted:

why do the people who want to post abuse stories want that? not sarcasm. genuine autism question. is it like "this is a learning experience showing what abuse looks like" or is it fun or what, genuinely

I at least understand it. Part of it is a kind of "Can you believe this poo poo?" reaction. The internet equivalent of seeing someone doing something stupid on the road and turning to the person you're within and going off about how dumb they are.

EDIT: There's also a sense of catharsis and release for me when I see a story like that and everyone chimes in with "Man, gently caress that poo poo" type posts. It reminds me that there's people out there who do understand what is and isn't abuse. (I... may have some experience with a partner who performed abuse-adjacent activities).

Neito fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Apr 16, 2024

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:27

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

IMO the rule should be that you can only post abuse stories with a happy ending, not trailing off in �am I the rear end in a top hat for not liking this? I dunno, it feels like my life is a living hell but on the other hand I also have severe stockholm syndrome�

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:29

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

I was wondering why the thread was dead compared to a few years ago.

Boy I hope this thread doesn't blow up like the last one. It gets discouraging when there's 200+ posts in non-chat threads. This is the first time I've been following it, and it's been fun so far.

:justpost:

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

AITA for calling off my wedding and telling my fianc� to move back home with mommy?

quote:

I'm not going to try and swing this in my favor here by leaving out details or sugar coating anything. I was MEAN about it. He was crying. I've been with my fianc� for 7 years and we have been engaged for 3 years. We have gone ahead and tried to do a "save the date" 4 times now and every single time, his mom convinces him to postpone. It's always a "well don't you think you have bigger things to worry about?" Whether it be our living situation (we are renting and she thinks we should buy first because we "aren't stable"), or our money situation (this was her excuse after we loaned HER $8k so she didn't lose her house but we have plenty of money, as my husbands an RN and I'm a lawyer). It's just always something. We planned for a family gathering in my mom's backyard. She has 3 acres and a beautiful pond and it's just perfect. And we are doing a pot luck. So, very low cost wedding. Plus, everyone we know lives within an hour of the location so only giving a month or two notice is perfectly acceptable in our case. With all this said, his mom has zero reason to try and sway us against it. But her newest argument is that we "need" to wait until our daughter is "at least 3" so she can be our flower girl (she's 7 months old).

Well, in December my husband and I talked and we decided we wanted to get married in August. I told him "don't let your mom dictate it" and he said he wouldn't and that he was tired of listening to her. Fair enough. But last weekend my mother and his mother both came for dinner and I was talking to my mom about what dress I wanted her to wear as the Matron of Honour. My husband's mom asked when we planned to tell her we had decided on a date and my husband said "when we told everyone else". She just said "oh" and got quiet and took leave maybe 20 minutes later. He had already made plans to go over to her house after dinner to help her with her cable box so he left shortly after that to head over to her place while I drank some wine with my mom.

When he got back he was super quiet but said he was just tired and went to bed. But last night he said, at random, "my mom kind of has a point.. maybe we should wait until we buy a house so our living situation is a bit more stable. She's not wrong in saying that it should be something we are worried about." I just went silent and didn't comment, because I was pissed off. But he kept making comments, like "it'll only be a couple of years, 5 at most". I just took my ring off and handed it to him and said I was no longer interested. He immediately started protesting and trying to put the ring back on my finger and I wouldn't let him. I said I was no longer interested in marrying him and maybe he should move back home with mommy because I know for a fact that that woman will make up another excuse the second we buy a house and I'm really just so turned off at the thought of marrying him at this point because I have zero business being with a man who has no back bone and would put our lives on hold in favor of a woman who still wants to scrub his back in the shower (as I said, I was mean about it. But to clear it up now - no, she has not said she wants to scrub his back in the shower BUT she often talks about how she "had to" help him shower for months when he was 16 because he broke his leg and as the story goes, he told her he didn't want help and she forced it because shes loving weird - and it's even weirder that she still talks about it like it was a fond memory to see her 16yo naked). He's crying at this point and I'm stupid calm, maybe because I'm over it, and told him I wanted him to leave - or I could leave. But those were the only options. He ended up leaving, sobbing the entire time. I do feel bad. I feel gutted. He means everything to me. But I can't do this anymore. AITA? His mom has been blowing up my phone with texts, trying to plead her case and I just texted back and said "no, it's fine, you won. Now you can have your baby boy back full time." And blocked her number. My friends think I'm wildly overreacting.

ETA: sorry for confusion, I call him "my husband" by habit and have since before we got engaged.

I'm glad OP has finally grown a spine, shame she didn't do that before having a child with this lump of a mama's boy.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:43

BrideOfUglycat: Oct 30, 2000

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Reddit seems to remove double newline characters

Consent: not sexy for some

My girlfriend is upset because I hesitated to have sex with her

I have to admit that makes me laugh. In my early 20s, I had a date with a guy who did something similar because I'd had a few beers while singing karaoke. The same guy had also, a couple weeks earlier, bashfully asked permission to kiss me for the first time. Reader, I married him.

That girl is dumb. Get you a man who treats you with dignity and respect for your person. It's super sexy.

ilmucche posted:

This is a weird one and a bit of a function of being overseas. It's a weird conversation to have but it's possible to acknowledge that logistics means that you might not be there when dying happens but still enjoy the time you have seeing them when you do get across the ocean

The weirdness of grief is playing into it too. Husband is grieving the loss of his grandmother, but the cycle is prolonged by the fact that grandma's NOT dead, just almost, so it's that horrible prolonged agony of sadness. Assuming the husband isn't historically a spendthrift, under normal circumstances he would understand the impossibility of overseas travel on a regular basis. He'd probably even agree that one trip to say goodbye and one trip for the funeral would be good and enough. But that sort of logic goes out the window when you're trying to grab just one last moment.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:43

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

haveblue posted:

IMO the rule should be that you can only post abuse stories with a happy ending, not trailing off in �am I the rear end in a top hat for not liking this? I dunno, it feels like my life is a living hell but on the other hand I also have severe stockholm syndrome�

Pope Corky the IX posted:

3) No stories of obvious abuse. Sexual, physical, mental, emotional, etc. I get that this one can be tricky sometimes, so feel free to reach out to me if you're unsure. Basically ask yourself "Where's the entertainment value here?" That's not to say that there aren't stories where abuse is referenced, but it's more inspirational because it's someone that was able to get out and thrive. You know, that sort of thing.

This is what I currently have, I feel it's fairly similar to what you're proposing.

EDIT: r/relationships: no, it's fine, you won. Now you can have your baby boy back full time.

Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Apr 16, 2024

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:47

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

haveblue posted:

IMO the rule should be that you can only post abuse stories with a happy ending, not trailing off in �am I the rear end in a top hat for not liking this? I dunno, it feels like my life is a living hell but on the other hand I also have severe stockholm syndrome�

The only problem here is that by nature like 90% of the stories posted are unresolved

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:59

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

FMguru posted:

AITA for calling off my wedding and telling my fianc� to move back home with mommy?

I'm glad OP has finally grown a spine, shame she didn't do that before having a child with this lump of a mama's boy.

The weirdest thing is that the mom is trying to help win her back! What do you mean she's calling to plead her case?? She clearly got what she wanted, the wedding to never happen. what did she think she wanted??

# ? Apr 16, 2024 19:00

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

FMguru posted:

AITA for calling off my wedding and telling my fianc� to move back home with mommy?

I'm glad OP has finally grown a spine, shame she didn't do that before having a child with this lump of a mama's boy.

Also good for her for standing up to him, no notes

# ? Apr 16, 2024 19:02

deoju: Jul 11, 2004; All the pieces matter.; Nap Ghost

FMguru posted:

AITA for calling off my wedding and telling my fianc� to move back home with mommy?

quote:
I just took my ring off and handed it to him.

loving power move right there.

# ? Apr 16, 2024 19:08

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# ? May 20, 2024 23:38

Lieutenant Dan: Oct 27, 2009; Weedlord Bonerhitler

Midnight Voyager posted:

The weirdest thing is that the mom is trying to help win her back! What do you mean she's calling to plead her case?? She clearly got what she wanted, the wedding to never happen. what did she think she wanted??

Possibly someone to lord it over? Like, "see your fiance/husband prefers ME!" :ohdear:

"Now you can have your baby boy back full time." is an absolute power move and rules

# ? Apr 16, 2024 19:10

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