Harold Fjord posted:

There's no problem with a nice seltzer water in the morning, however its flavored.

Paper Tiger posted:

Another classic: AITA for drinking whiskey in the office at 10:30 in the morning?

quote:

Minor background: I am a pretty affectionate, and at times, effeminate, dude. I'm 6'2 and have a pretty "tough-guy" background in that I was in special forces a while ago, and my roommates all served as well, but I also have thin wrists and sit on my friends' laps and blow kisses to them and poo poo. I'm not gay, I just am me.

So while I was in a shop with a roommate a few weeks ago he saw these really cool shawls that we both couldn't get out of our heads; he returned last weekend to buy them and now we have these shawls. Mine makes me look like a Star Wars character and his looks like the Outlaw Josey Wales, these are seriously awesome shawls. The first night we wore them, everybody at the dive bar we went to (Re: dudes) thought they were awesome as well. Then this girl and her friend arrive on invite from Shawlbro, and they are seriously turned off by our sweet shawls. Like, acting pretty weird about them and making comments. Whatever. So I get a call from my GF, she's tired and wants to hang out at mine, and so I bid these mean girls and Shawlbro adieu and head home.

I'm still wearing the shawl when my GF arrives and she's also really taken aback, she won't even kiss me until I take it off. We get do the deed and go to sleep, and the next morning she starts asking me if I'm gay. And she's really serious and aggressive about it. I tell her I'm not, that if I was I'd definitely know if by now, and she counters with her major evidence of the fact that I own a shawl. Anyway she gets weird and leaves, and then sends me a text later about how she's sorry and that she "needs to think about what kind of man" she wants, and then doesn't contact me for days. So yesterday I invite her out, she's stumbling over her words and talking about how she likes tough guys and how she grew up in the south and needs to get used to The Big City, but that she doesn't know this or that, and eventually I just tell her very politely to get hosed because I'm pretty insulted by this point. On the way back, now that I'm not directly in front of her, I get this long apologetic text from her but the crux of it is that yeah, she's just not that into me anymore because I wore a shawl.

Later on, I tell Shawlbro about this, and he also had a blowout with the girl he was seeing over his shawl that very same night we went out.

We are both going to keep wearing the shawls though, they are warm.

Tl;dr: Me and my friend bought cursed shawls and now we are single.

edgeman83 posted:

I see your dogcloak and raise you shawlbros

TIFU by wearing a shawl, which ruined my relationship with my GF

quote:

I (36M) have been married to my wife (34M) for 8 years. We have 3 children, and my wife is a stay at home mom. Our sex life has always been great, but last year, my wife wanted me to try on a p*nis sleeve, which actually improved our sex life ever more, because it hit her in the right areas. She said it’s the best sex she’s ever had in her life, which made me even happier.

A week ago, my friend (35M) asked me about the sleeve because he’s never tried it before, and wanted to know what it was like. I was surprised he knew about this, and asked him how did he know. He said his wife told him about it. My wife and his wife are in the same friend group.

I was shocked that my wife had told shared such a personal detail with her friends, and I asked her about it. When I asked her about it, she confessed that she had shared to her friend group, and that she shouldn’t have, but she just wanted to talk about why our sex life has become amazing recently. She apologized a lot, but I ignored her, and told her I needed some time to process this.

It’s been a week and I have been trying to ignore her as much as possible, I’m sleeping in a different room. She cooks dinner every day, but I just go out and eat, because I have no mood to eat at home. There is a tense atmosphere at home, and my wife has apologized a lot, but I’ve just been trying to ignore her as much as possible.

I don’t think this can be fixed through therapy or a simple apology. I think this is a massive betrayal of my trust, it’s just shocking to me that my wife would share such a personal detail with her entire friend group. I have been seriously considering the possibility of a divorce. I know we have 3 children, but I don’t know how I’ll ever reconcile with my wife ever again. At this moment, I’d rather just pay child support and alimony than be in her presence, but I know feelings can change.

AITAH? Can this situation even be fixed? How do I even trust my wife anymore

Captain Fargle posted:

There was the mashed potatoes with crisps and raisins in it one. That was a hell of a thing. Or the white lady that completely turbofucked her entire catering career by being hella racist about the cook for a big Chinese restaurant in NY.

Midnight Voyager posted:

WTF, those are just like... the second one basically looks like a poncho from a western. Like I wouldn't give a poo poo if they're flowery shawls, but even among shitheads, who looks at that and is threatened by a lack of masculinity?

Neito posted:

Sub guy, Soup Tubes, Ketchup Rent Skit, and Sandwich Millionaire are my favorite food-based /r/relationship stories.

quote:

My friend, Zoltar (fake name), has been obsessed with ketchup ever since I met him. He is always trying out different recipes to make his own ketchup and getting me and all our friends to try them. Recently he made "his best ketchup yet". I tried it. It wasn't bad. It was ketchup. Now he has decided he is "finally going to break into the ketchup game."

He is convinced he is going to launch his own ketchup company and grow it to be one of the top providers of ketchup in the US. He literally has a photo of Heinz ketchup on a dartboard. He throws darts at it and mutters things like "I'm coming for YOU".

Anyways he has a scheme he wants me and others to participate in. Essentially it involves us all going to a restaurant, sitting at different tables, and enacting lines from a scene he wrote that will culminate in all of us trying and loving his ketchup and convincing the manager to buy it. He wants us all to memorize lines.

The gist of it is one guy is supposed to call over a waitress and say he likes the french fries, but hates the ketchup. I am supposed to lean over (from another table) and say "Sorry to butt in, hah hah, but I have to agree. I'm tired of this old fashioned, factory produced ketchup. Where's the real tomato flavor?" After a few other people do this, my friend is going to say "You guys won't believe this, but I'm a ketchup chef, and I have a few samples. Would you want to give it a shot?"

At this point everyone is supposed to try the ketchup and act astounded by it and basically all exclaim it is the best ketchup they ever had. I am supposed to stand up on my table and "make a trumpet sound effect" and then yell to the entire restaurant "We have the best ketchup ever made over here! Everyone come on over!"

One of the other people is supposed to get the manager of the place over and we are all supposed to try to convince him or her to buy an order of my friends ketchup. He is going to act "surprised and embarrassed" and try to tell us to "stop putting this poor guy on the spot" in regards to the manager. He then assumes he will make a "huge sale". Then he wants to do this same "operation" at other places in town.

I told him no way am I doing this. I hate public speaking/acting and having attention focused on me, also the idea is just so loving dumb and crazy to me. I told him that straight up. He acted offended and said I am "ruining his dreams."

I am astounded by this but some of my friends agree and think he is showing "hustle" and that we should all help him launch his ketchup business. Aside from his ketchup obsession Zoltar is one of my best friends but it seems our friendship is being ruined. A lot of people are telling me I am a jerk for going against his dream and not helping out.

quote:

Hi Reddit, I truly don't know if this is the right place or not. I understand my wife and I may have jumped the gun in the punishing of our son Tony. I just need a neutral side of this so I need to structure it properly.

Backstory

My wife and I have been married for 25 years and we have five children together. (Hannah 11F), (Skye 13F), (Tony 14M), (Luke 17M) and (Zoey 19). My daughter Zoey is in Ohio for college. My wife and I live with our other children and for most part we do a good job. We did make a lapse of judgement.

The Issue

Over them summer my son Tony was at the mall with his friends I believe, if I remember correctly. My wife decided to clean out Tony room and take all of his dirty clothes off the floor. While my wife was doing this she discovered a box of weed underneath his bed. My wife showed me the box of weed and we were having a discussion on what to do.

My wife and I showed Tony the box of weed when he got home. We asked him what it is was and he said he did not know. My wife told him to stop lying because she found it under his bed. He told us both he swears he has no idea what it is or where it came from. Zoey and Luke both piled on him saying how disappointed they are in him.

There was only 7 weeks left of the summer and my wife decided that he was grounded for those 7 weeks. She took away his phone, she took away his TV, she took away everything that would provide him entertainment and left him with a book. She left him with his summer homework and books. He was not allowed to go out or anything like that. He kept telling us it was not his and after a while he just stopped.

My Wife and I continued to keep strict conditions on Tony such as coming home immediately after school

The Issue Now

Last night my wife and I were taking our daughters out to their friends birthday dinner at Red Robbins. Luke and Tony stayed home because it was a dinner party for the girls. We ordered them Pizza and that was that.

It ended sooner than we expected and we were to arrive home. When we arrived home my wife checked on Tony and he was sleeping. I went upstairs to check on Luke and I caught him smoking weed with his girlfriend. I called my wife and we kicked his girlfriend out. He has the giggles and found the situation funny.

In his state he admitted that the weed is his and called us douches for throwing it out.

How do we fix this

So here we are with the issue of how to fix this, we grounded our sun who was innocent and pretty much ruined his summer. Tony left for school before we could talk to him and we don't really know what to say to him or do.

Neito posted:

Wife who had the husband who was certain she was going to die during childbirth is the one that occationally pops into my head every so often.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for considering divorce because my wife told her friends I use a p*nis sleeve during sex?

lmao

quote:

I don’t think this can be fixed through therapy

quote:

With all that is going on, we have stocked up on supplies, including some canned goods. I ordered a few weeks ago 30 cans of beans. 10 are black beans, 10 are kidney beans, and 10 are pink beans. Also, I ordered 15 cans of chickpeas. I thought this is a reasonable amount of beans and chickpeas to have every now and then and would last for quite some time.

However last night I opened the cabinet because I wanted to make a vegetarian chili using two cans of beans, but all of the beans were gone. What the hell?

I asked my girlfriend and she told me she buried all of the beans in the woods.

At first I thought she was joking, but she explained, no, she had buried the beans in the woods. WTF?

I asked her to explain and she told me she was afraid that "if things get bad" we might have to worry about "looters or whatever" and that the beans would be in danger of being stolen. I said I thought this was completely ridiculous and unlikely. She became angry at me and said she "is protecting our beans."

According to her logic, the beans are safely buried in the woods behind our apartment complex, and if we ever need some beans she will go to the "stash" and dig up a can or two, but would prefer if we save them all for "if things get worse".

I said why only bury the beans, why not bury our more valuable items? She said the canned food was most valuable for long-term means, and that since we get fresh food in our online grocery deliveries, it would make sense to continue to stockpile beans. She intends to go bury more beans in the woods every week.

This was too insane for me and I got very upset. I demanded to know where the beans were buried, and she refused to tell me. She said if I knew she was afraid I'd dig them up, I said drat right I would. She said "I will never jeopardize the beans." I crossed the line and said she was out of her mind, she stormed away. We have not talked since last night.

I think it is completely ridiculous to bury the beans in the woods and I want to find them and dig them up, but apparently my girlfriend is taking this very seriously. How can I convince her to tell me where the beans are? And do you think I should convince her to get therapy or something or should I break up with her? So confused. Is this normal for a girlfriend to bury beans or otherwise hide them?

TL;DR - My girlfriend buried the beans in the woods and will not tell me where they are.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for considering divorce because my wife told her friends I use a p*nis sleeve during sex?

lmao

quote:

Random Redditor: “What sleeve is it?”

OP: “It’s the Ocelot 3000RX™️, which provided my wife with maximum satisfaction. I used promo code REDDIT15 for 15% off. But anyway, yeah, I totally think I’m going to divorce her.”

Hint: OP almost certainly wants you to DM him for more info.

Mordiceius posted:

Mordiceius posted:

These dudes seem loving awesome.

They even included pictures of their shawls:
Shawlguy:

Shawlbro:

mystes posted:

Actually I'm going to say that this one can and should be fixed through therapy

quote:

This is the dumbest thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. This past Sunday, my husband and I (m29 and f27) were on our boat together. We were just relaxing and talking and having a good morning. All of a sudden, my husband gets really serious and tells me “baby, I’m so sorry but I have to tell you something. I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I had an affair.”

For context, my husband thinks he’s a comedian. He says dumb poo poo all the time but he’s never joked about our marriage or relationship or cheating, ever. The way he said it, I fully believed him.

I was blinded by rage and hurt and I’m not a confrontational person at all so all I did was stand up, take my rings off, and throw them into the ocean. I don’t even know why I did it, it was just the first thing I thought of doing.

My husbands jaw hit the floor. He immediately started to yell at me that it was a joke, a prank, he wasn’t serious and I was an idiot. My jaw dropped then too. I yelled at him too and called him the same. I cried too, realizing I just threw my lovely and sentimental rings into the ocean.

We’ve been arguing for days. He says I’m TA, I say he’s the TA, and I have no idea who’s right. Yes admittedly I threw about 10 k worth of rings into the ocean and we will never find them again- but he looked me in my eyes and told me he had an affair. I am upset about my rings. I’ve apologized for throwing them. But I just don’t feel like TA.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for throwing my rings in the ocean after my husband told me he had an affair, even though it was a “prank”.

NTA. Don't joke about that poo poo.

ChairmanMauzer posted:

My (32F) husband (36M) wants to start a 'restaurant for magicians', and it is tearing our family apart

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for throwing my rings in the ocean after my husband told me he had an affair, even though it was a “prank”.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for throwing my rings in the ocean after my husband told me he had an affair, even though it was a “prank”.

NTA. Don't joke about that poo poo.

Mx. posted:

While we're posting classics

My (30 M) girlfriend (30 F) buried all of my beans in the woods and won't tell me where, causing a fight between us - April 7 2020

My Spirit Otter posted:

for the love of god, please tell me theres an update

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Husband is a loving moron

sullat posted:

Also legally married to Poseidon now, so good luck with that.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for throwing my rings in the ocean after my husband told me he had an affair, even though it was a “prank”.

NTA. Don't joke about that poo poo.

Abugadu posted:

oh man, you haven't eaten at Presto's yet? The mozzarella sticks are aces.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITAH for considering divorce because my wife told her friends I use a p*nis sleeve during sex?

lmao

edgeman83 posted:

I see your dogcloak and raise you shawlbros

TIFU by wearing a shawl, which ruined my relationship with my GF

John Wick of Dogs posted:

What the gently caress is a penis sleeve, is that what British people call a cock ring?

quote:

I went on a double date with my sister (Jamie, 24) and her new boyfriend. (Paul 25ish)

We went to an Italian place. Paul goes on about how the word is for red in Italian marinara, and the word for white is alfredo, so that’s how he remembers the sauce names.

I told Paul I took Italian in high school, and it’s rosso and bianco. It even says so on the wine menu.

Paul started yelling at me and calling me wrong. Those are the names for wines, not colors. My husband showed him on Google the translation for red and white.

Paul told my sister he was leaving and called us stupid assholes and how wrong we were. Paul and my sister left without paying their bill, or even getting some food. When we asked the server he said the drinks are no problem and not to worry about it.

My sister texted me later and said why do I think I always have to be right and I embarrassed Paul, and it was immature of my husband. She said we didn’t have to argue with him over something so silly. She called my husband, and I bullied him. She told me that I don’t have to say to people when they are wrong and embarrass them in public like that.

Vertigo Ambrosia posted:

Ooh, can someone post the racist chef one?

Scathach posted:

I totally missed the racist one. Wtf.

And the noisy maturbation, was that ever clarified? I'm so confused about that one.

quote:

For context: I've been married to my wife for ~10 years and we're a mixed-race couple (I'm Asian and she's Caucasian). I've gotten along with her family (MIL, BIL, SIL), but I always felt like her FIL and other SIL (Sarah) never liked me.

I'm a professionally trained chef with 15+ years of experience and I work at a high-end Chinese restaurant (a spin-off of a popular one in Beijing) in a large US city. My crew and I have won several awards, and I've been explicitly told I'll be the next executive chef. Sarah is also a professionally trained chef and works at a popular upscale French restaurant in the city. She constantly brags about it and (no joke) compares herself out loud to Ramsay and Bourdain.

Whenever I'm at my MIL and FIL's house and helping out in the kitchen, Sarah is always criticizing everything I do. Whether it's chopping, braising, marinating, etc., she always butts in with comments like "Umm, I think you should actually do X like this...". I've been patient for my wife and side stepping those comments, saying things like "Thanks, but I think I'll stick to the way I do it."

Things came to a head two weeks ago when my wife, FIL, MIL, and I were in her parent's kitchen prepping dinner for my MIL's birthday. We were running a bit behind so things were heated (which I kind of like because it reminded me of work) and that's when Sarah walked in. She took one look at what I was doing, scoffed, and said something like "Oh wow, okay, so that's not the right way of doing things". It hit a nerve and I pretty sternly told her to stop criticizing my cooking and that I'm also a chef like her. She laughed and said "making Kung Pao chicken at some Chinese restaurant doesn't count". The kitchen went silent, FIL snorted/chuckled, and my MIL yelled "SARAH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU". I stopped what I was doing, swore at her and called her "a racist piece of poo poo", apologized to my MIL for not being able to stay, and left for home with my wife.

Apparently this caused a massive fight after we left, with my MIL/BIL/other SIL taking my side and my FIL/Sarah saying "it was a joke but kind of true" and that I was "being too sensitive". The extended family somehow got wind of this and now everyone is arguing and taking sides, with my wife even getting texts from some her cousins apologizing for Sarah's behavior. Despite being on my side, my wife is begging me to apologize so that the fighting will stop but I refuse to because gently caress Sarah and her blatant racism.

AITA?

TL;DR: I'm a chef working at upscale Chinese resto, my SIL is a chef at upscale French resto. She's critical of my cooking skills and has now called it "making Kung Pao chicken at a Chinese restaurant". Family at war, wife begging me to apologize, what do?

EDIT: My wife has also informed me that now Sarah may be in trouble at work and she's blaming me for it. Apparently one of her co-workers heard her rant about what happened and reported it to management. (Edit: To clarify Sarah is blaming me, though my wife is partly blaming me)

EDIT2/UPDATE:

So it looks like one of my wife's cousins found this post and put it on Sarah's Facebook wall going "This is you right?...". Her FB friends are starting to comment with things like "If this is you Sarah then I'm disappointed". I think Sarah's still at work - poo poo might be hitting the fan soon and now my wife is pissed too. Will try to update but might have to delete post if things go nuclear

EDIT3/UPDATE2:

Was considering removing but I just got a voicemail from my FIL that "[my] presence was only being tolerated up until this point" and threatened a "world of hurt" if I didn't delete this post. Officially going to keep this post up and if you're still reading this Doug - I'm very disappointed in you, you're better than this. Will also continue to update and thanks again for all your support folks

EDIT4/UPDATE3: Lots of stuff just went down

My wife got a call from SIL. (From wife's paraphrasing) Sarah started screaming/crying at her the moment my wife picked up and said that she just got demoted because of "[her] {Asian slur} husband". Apparently some of her co-workers have her on FB and showed the post to management, which combined with her earlier rant, double whammied her back to being a line cook and now she might get fired. My wife told her to go gently caress herself and is now solidly on my side after taking the verbal abuse from Sarah and reading some of the comments here. My wife is still the opposite of happy though...

Wife called MIL and asked her WTF was going on with FIL. MIL was confused so my wife played back the voicemail I had on my phone and apparently my MIL literally just walked away from the phone without hanging up and started screaming at FIL.

Facebook post has now devolved into a clusterfuck flame war with family and friends jumping in.

Suffice to say, it has officialy gone nuclear

I think I'm going to have to call this a day, will make an update post when the dust settles. Thanks again folks

‐-----------------------------

NEW UPDATE

EDIT5/UPDATE4:

Turns out I'm not allowed to post an update post for some reason.

I'd like to clarify that I got my wife and MIL's permissions to post this update (out respect for them and their privacy)

Suffice to say, it's been kind of nuts this past week. My wife and I had to turn off social media for a bit because of the shitstorm caused by her cousin putting my last post on Sarah's Facebook page. Some people even tried to call the restaurant I work at to get me fired as retribution, but luckily everyone there is 100% on my side (or as my boss put it "gently caress [Sarah], gently caress those racists, gently caress them so goddamn much"). I guess it didn't help them that half the calls involved threats, screaming, and more racial slurs.

We didn't hear any updates from her family, even though we assumed the poo poo met fan after MIL found out about FIL's threatening voicemail (still disappointed in you Doug). But that changed on Sunday night, when MIL suddenly showed up at our door with overnight bags. After we took a moment to help unpack and calm down, she spilled the beans on everything.

FIL (aka Doug)

Apparently my MIL and FIL were already having trouble in their marriage, and it was only made worse with a certain 2016 Presidential election (she's a Dem, and he had apparently gone more far-right since then). Seems that a line was crossed with the "Kung Pao Incident" and his voicemail. When he refused to apologize for anything (typical Doug), she asked for a divorce and he went beserk. She didn't feel safe there so that's when she came over (other BIL and SIL live out of town).

Extended Family (aka The Great FB War of 2021)

You may have been able to tell already, but the extended family was largely arguing/fighting/divided along political lines for a few years now and my cousin's FB post was likely just the light to set off the powder keg. According to my MIL, the fallout has allegedly already led to some break-ups, excommunication of some family members, and even an argument that ended with police involvement. Haven't verified this myself though.

Sarah / SIL

According to my MIL, Sarah came over to her place on Friday. The writing was on the wall and she was basically forced to quit. Despite her trying to start from scratch as a line cook, the entire staff turned against her. Nothing was coming back from the (dish) pit for her and she was getting the cold shoulder. She’s a great chef (I will admit this is true), but they took no chances since it turns out (poo poo you not)... they're partly owned by a Chinese investment company. Found this hard to believe and didn't want to add this detail, but it turned out to be true after some research (won't say any further for privacy). Word also got around in the local industry, and Sarah is essentially blacklisted from high-end establishments. She's now considering selling her home and moving to find work. As much as I don't like her and found her behavior horrifying, I didn't intend for this to happen so I've reached out to some buds in other states to see if they had any openings. Whether or not she wants to take itis up to her (and no, she has not apologized for anything either - but I still want to be a decent person to her).

It sure as hell doesn't feel like a happy ending. Perhaps bittersweet justice, but that's all I can give you. Thank you all for your support and for reading.

Mx. posted:

Another classic, a big marinara flag

AITA for correcting someone at dinner

quote:

My (24F) husband (28M) has a friend who comes over frequently and will often spend the night because he can’t afford frequent Ubers and my husband does not feel comfortable driving after drinking and I’m currently too pregnant to drive as I have short legs and the wheel sticks into my belly uncomfortably. This friend honestly never came over much before but my husband got a job working 2 weeks on, two weeks off at a mining camp so I don’t get much time with him - hence prioritizing time with me, his pregnant wife, over nights out with friends.

I didn’t mind at first when he would come over but it started to get uncomfortable quickly. After his first 3-4 visits if I did not have a meal started/ready by time he arrived he would walk into my kitchen and start preparing a meal with OUR food. Of course he would make enough for all of us but I’ve genuinely never experienced that with a friend before and it weirded me out. My husband doesn’t have a problem with it though so I said nothing to that. This morphed into him bringing stuff to make us which I did appreciate but was still uncomfortable because if I offered to help or cook he would tell me to go relax, as if I were the guest in my own home.

What really irked me is last night he stayed over again, and my husband and I had slept in (although I had gone to the washroom a couple of times bc pregnancy). His friend I guess got bored and walked into our room without even knocking asking if we wanted eggs. We both turned him down so again he just goes into the kitchen and helps himself to our food. I find it extremely weird and really don’t like that he didn’t knock. I’ve NEVER acted like that at any of my friends homes, and have never been treated like that before. Of course I would be fine having someone help themselves to any drinks or snacks but going and making a full meal (and just for yourself since neither my husband nor I were hungry at the time) really weirded me out.

I spoke to my husband about all of this and how I don’t appreciate being treated as a guest in my own home - almost as if I’m a bad host, and especially not having my privacy intruded on. My husband agrees for the most part but also says his friend is just doing this stuff to be nice and he doesn’t want to create conflict. I told him he needs to set some boundaries because I will not be made to feel uncomfortable in my own home. This upset my husband a bit and he is accusing me of not liking his friend and saying his buddy will think I hate him. AITA for asking for some boundaries?

therobit posted:

Might be hard for him when literally all of their friends know about his presumably very small penis because his wife could not resist the urge to share embarrassing things about him to her friends for entertainment. He probably doesn’t feel like he can look any of those people in the face again, and anytime he hears his wife laughing with her friends he is going to wonder if it’s about his dick. That probably was not the intent of her sharing their bedroom issues but this is going to hit any insecurities he might have had about his small dick really hard. That is unless it’s just that she has a really big vagina.

Edit: OK so it’s a very strange ad for men with a small penis and a shame kink?

Barudak posted:

Why dont you click this here sponsored amazon link to find out more?

But no seriously its a thing that your dick goes into to make it larger in a super robot dildo kind of way

Hughlander posted:

AITA for calling my SIL a racist after she compared my cooking to "making kung pao chicken"?