r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

Shardix: Sep 14, 2011; Don't have a fire cow, man

I think my real issue with naming your kids after anime characters is that there's no respect for the classics. Now let me introduce my sons, Spritle and M.D. Geist.

# ? May 1, 2024 02:03

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:03

mystes: May 31, 2006

I'm surprised that more people haven't tried to name their kids after pokemon

# ? May 1, 2024 02:10

Onionetta: Aug 16, 2009

Rockman Reserve posted:

i would bet a dollar they�re thinking of the name Wendy from Peter Pan

I have the feeling they're literally thinking of Alice. The name Alice.

# ? May 1, 2024 02:15

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

There should be kids named Goku, cause Goku fuckin rules, but no one has the guts

# ? May 1, 2024 02:31

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Shardix posted:

I think my real issue with naming your kids after anime characters is that there's no respect for the classics. Now let me introduce my sons, Spritle and M.D. Geist.

I wanted my kid to have a successful future in the technology sector, which is why I named her Lain

# ? May 1, 2024 02:38

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Real disappointed in my kid Kenshiro after he became a psychiatrist.

EDIT: Come to think of it though, there are plenty of anime names (or Westernized anime names) that might work as real names, at least in the West- off the top of my head, Ash, Ken and Phoenix come to mind.

# ? May 1, 2024 02:48

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

CommissarMega posted:

Real disappointed in my kid Kenshiro after he became a psychiatrist.

Speak for yourself, the only thing my boy Raoh conquers is the goddamn Dunkin' Donuts :mad:

# ? May 1, 2024 02:50

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Shardix posted:

I think my real issue with naming your kids after anime characters is that there's no respect for the classics. Now let me introduce my sons, Spritle and M.D. Geist.

My son Captain Harlock

# ? May 1, 2024 02:55

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

haveblue posted:

I wanted my kid to have a successful future in the technology sector, which is why I named her Lain

Serial is a heavily outdated standard.

# ? May 1, 2024 02:55

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Batterypowered7 posted:

My son Captain Harlock

My Daughter, Siegfried Kircheis

# ? May 1, 2024 02:57

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

My daughters Rei, Rei, Rei and Rei.

# ? May 1, 2024 03:02

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Batterypowered7 posted:

My son Captain Harlock

i see you're a man of distinguished taste

# ? May 1, 2024 03:11

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I shouldn't have named my daughter Haruhi, she's very melancholy

Shardix posted:

So much for my dream of someday meeting a Ricksanchez Mitsuhama-san.

Please don't dox my FFXIV username

# ? May 1, 2024 03:11

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for "flirting" with my friends?

quote:

I (28M) and my GF (29F) generally have a pretty normal/stable relationship.

I have this group chat of friends (all guys) whom I play games with once in a while. We used to do that more, but life kind of took over.

Anyway, even though we don't do stuff together as much any more, we still talk a lot and share memes. Recently, we've been doing this thing where one person will share sexual content, and everyone will re-share it in the group. Not porn, but stuff like "I just jerked off to someone in this groupchat", "it's not an orgy if none of the streams touch", and other such content that basically alludes to the group chat being a gay sex den (if it matters, we're all straight).

One day my GF picked up my phone to do something (we have an open phone policy) and it happened to unlock on the group chat, and I guess she got curious and scrolled. She got quite unhappy, and we had a minor fight. Her position is that the content matters more than the intentions, and I shouldn't be sending such things to anyone. Mine is that it's a joke (admittedly not that funny to outsiders, but we think it's hilarious).

# ? May 1, 2024 03:17

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

It all starts with kissing the homies goodnight

# ? May 1, 2024 03:26

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

AITAH for telling my wife I would be leaving if she kept acting baby crazy?

quote:

My wife and I have two kids (9,6). After the second one she said she was done having kids even though we had discussed having three prior to marriage. We talked about it for a long time but I love her and I agreed to change our plans.

She had an IUD but we still used condoms. She really didn't want to get pregnant. About four years ago we agreed that I would get a vasectomy. It made sense since it was a minor surgery unlike her getting tubal ligation.

It went well and after I healed up I went for testing and it worked. If you ever get a vasectomy please do the follow up testing. My friend from college thought he was good to go and now he has a kid.

So she got her IUD removed and we stopped using condoms and life was good. Until her sister each had another kid. Then one of her friends had a baby. And my wife went nuts.

She wants another baby. She made a mistake and wants me to go get my vasectomy reversed. Or to get my sperm harvested and get IVF.

The gently caress I am getting a needle in my balls or another operation. And we are actually doing great financially right now. Her taking two years off from work would be a big hit.

I said we could look at adoption or fostering but that I was not interested in her having another kid. She tried bringing up our agreement from before we got married but I shut that down immediately.

So for the last four months our marriage has been a simmering battle about another kid. She has had her parents over, my parents over, her sisters and their families. All trying to convince me that I should give in. gently caress that noise.

I am almost 44. In 12 years my youngest will be starting their career or their post secondary education. I can see the finish line now.

I did offer all the family members that chimed in a fun option. I agreed to get TESA (sperm harvesting) if all the men who agreed with my wife did it as well. Even if they had working ball tubes. At their own expense. And that they pool their money and pay for all bills related to IVF and the raising of the third kid.

They all say I'm being ridiculous and petty. I reminded them that as a unit they all agreed with my wife when she said she was fine with two kids. They wanted to have input then and it was free. I said this decision would require skin in the game.

It all came to a head last weekend. My folks had the boys so we could have a nice couple of days to ourselves. Instead my wife and I got into a screaming match. She said I obviously didn't love her if I wasn't willing to do this. That we are well off enough to afford all the expenses of another kid. Blah blah blah.

I told her no in no uncertain terms. We had money in the bank for retirement and fun. And that's what it was for. Not for her to get her hormones calmed down. She accused me of caring more about money than her happiness. I reminded her that she was the one who insisted that having a third kid would demolish her career. She started crying and saying I was an rear end in a top hat for denying her another kid. That it was not that much of a sacrifice. I finally unloaded and said that a divorce would be cheaper for me than another kid.

That shocked her into silence. We have barely spoken since. I think I broke her.

Our retirement funds are separate, our house is in both our names and she earns slightly more than I do. If we get divorced I will get 50/50 custody. I would want it. She would get no alimony and I might get a few dollars in child support.

I feel lovely threatening her with divorce. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her but I am sick and tired of having her make our reproductive decisions like my opinion does not matter.

EDIT
A bunch of you keep asking how I would tell my sons that I am divorcing their mom because she wants another baby. I just typed this as a reply but I actually like it enough to paste it here so you can stop asking.

"Mommy and daddy agreed before getting married that we would have three babies. But then mommy got an important job and did not want to and I quote "waste her time having another kid and wrecking her body again". Daddy was sad so he held on for four years hoping she would change her mind. but then they talked and she said it was a permanent decision. Since daddy loved mommy he did not want her to be hurt even a tiny bit. So daddy went to the doctor. At the doctor they gave daddy medicine so he would not feel pain. then they cut his ball sack open a tiny bit and burned the connection between his balls and the rest of his body. Daddy could not feel it but he loving still remembers that smell. Then mommy did not need to do anything to not have a baby anymore and she was happy. For almost two years. Then Auntie Joy and Auntie Carmen and mommies friend Maddie all had baby girls. And it made mommy sad and jealous that the girls were getting all the attention. So mommy talked to daddy and said go to the doctor and have him gently caress with your balls some more. This made Daddy upset because the gently caress I will. Mommy got lots of people to try and tell him to change his mind. But daddy is happy with his life and told them all to ingest a gigantic satchel of Richards. Mommy spent four months day and night bugging daddy non stop. Then remember when you stayed with Oma and Opa? Mommy and daddy were going to have a fun weekend just doing mommy and daddy stuff. Until she just would not loving drop it. So daddy told her that if him and his sons were not enough for her then he would say that they should go their separate ways. But daddy loves you boys very much and you are more than enough for him and he will always be there for you."

EDIT 2 Electric Boogaloo
JFC. I would never actually say that to my sons. once again it was just a response to all the not so bright people asking how I would explain it to them. Odds are I would take them to a family counselor so that I could tell them and then deal with some of the aftermath. I wrote that in anger but I kind of liked it.

# ? May 1, 2024 03:54

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

'Satchel of Richards' would be an excellent forums handle.

E: NTA. Lady made her decision, now she has to deal with it :shrug:

Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 04:10 on May 1, 2024

# ? May 1, 2024 04:08

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

I like the flip-flop from "I like this response so much I'm putting it up here for all to see!" and "Jesus loving Christ guys. I would never tell that to my kids!"

# ? May 1, 2024 04:09

mystes: May 31, 2006

He's 44 so if they had another kid he would probably be at least 63 by the time the kid went to college. I guess his wife must be younger but I don't really think it makes sense for them to have more kids.

Edit: She's 35

mystes fucked around with this message at 04:15 on May 1, 2024

# ? May 1, 2024 04:11

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Yeah no she should not have more kids. She's bored with her existing ones since they aren't babies anymore.

# ? May 1, 2024 04:16

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Kenshin posted:

Yeah no she should not have more kids. She's bored with her existing ones since they aren't babies anymore.

She wants a little girl like her friends have.

# ? May 1, 2024 04:17

mystes: May 31, 2006

I also don't think he should have to threaten to divorce. Having kids should be a "two yes one no" thing and if he's not willing and she is that determined to have more kids, it should be up to her to divorce and find someone else to have kids with.

# ? May 1, 2024 04:18

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Runcible Cat posted:

She wants a little girl like her friends have.

Like I said she's bored with her existing kids and wants a new baby. Wonder what would happen if she got another boy?

# ? May 1, 2024 04:21

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

My Daughter, Siegfried Kircheis

# ? May 1, 2024 05:04

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

mystes posted:

I also don't think he should have to threaten to divorce. Having kids should be a "two yes one no" thing and if he's not willing and she is that determined to have more kids, it should be up to her to divorce and find someone else to have kids with.

Are you like intentionally ignoring the bits where she didn't want a third kid until her friends had girls, or

# ? May 1, 2024 05:09

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

My Daughter, Siegfried Kircheis

# ? May 1, 2024 05:11

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

There's a Sparticus in my kid's kindergarten and I think that's pretty baller. Sparticus also has the biggest pop bottle glasses I've ever seen on a child.

# ? May 1, 2024 05:21

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

mystes posted:

He's 44 so if they had another kid he would probably be at least 63 by the time the kid went to college. I guess his wife must be younger but I don't really think it makes sense for them to have more kids.

Edit: She's 35

I had my first kid at 37 and my last at 42 or 43, I don't even know because I'm so loving tired and have zero energy left because I'm way too goddamn old to be chasing little kids around.

Luckily they're all 10 and up now, but for gently caress's sake, having babies and toddlers at that age is SO loving draining. And mine are all healthy and, for the most part, neurotypical; what happens if OP's wife's new baby has physical or neurological challenges, or is severely disabled? She's expecting a "perfect" healthy baby, but at both their ages it's somewhat more likely that might not happen.

runcible cat posted:

She wants a little girl like her friends have.

This too. I have 3 boys. I know someone with 4 boys, and someone else with SEVEN boys. OP's wife is running on baby fever and dreams right now and doesn't seem at all to be considering all the possibilities that aren't "'normal' girl baby."

# ? May 1, 2024 05:25

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

My sister is about to have her second baby (a girl). BIL's twin has a boy so I think he's going to want to push for a third kid to see if he can get a boy too.

Twin competition is weird.

# ? May 1, 2024 05:33

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA for being unwilling to play Santa?

quote:

My wife is responsible for events at her job, and one of these events is "Christmas in July." This event has been going on for years and is generally well attended. I have helped in years past with serving refreshments and never had any issue doing so. This year she finds herself in a pickle because the person who historically plays Santa at these events unfortunately passed away since least year's event.

I was informed that I would be playing Santa this year (not asked if I would be willing). I had an instant internal reaction to this and was not on board. This led to a bit of a fight where she finally relented with, "fine, I'll figure something else out" and I thought that was the end of it. A few weeks later she brought it up again as if I had agreed. I mentioned I thought it was decided she would figure something else out and she said, "yeah, the something else was I wad going to wait and you would warm up to the idea." I told her I wasn't happy about that but told her if she had no other options I would do it, but I wasn't thrilled about it. She brought it up again today and told me we need to get a suit from somewhere.

I am quite large, to the point that rental Santa suits likely would not fit. I'm also concerned about being dressed in velvet and fur for an outdoor event in July. I'm also not the usual demographic, I'm younger than Santas are traditionally. The idea of being in my 30s having random children sit on my lap while I sweat profusely sounds awful. I know there are plenty of people that like the idea of playing Santa. I do not. I explained all this to her and told her I legitimately do not feel comfortable doing this.

For context, this very well may be her last year working in this position, meaning it will be her last time hosting this event. We also have an infant son, for whom this would be his first of these events.

In response to my explanation of why I don't feel comfortable, both of these facts were brought up as supporting reasons why I should play Santa anyway. She then proceeded to tell me she was hurt that I was unwilling to help her. I told her I'm more than willing to help, and I have volunteered for multiple years at that exact event, but playing Santa wasn't something I wanted to do.

I'm feeling guilty about this, because I hate disappointing her and I know it can't be fun or easy to find someone willing to volunteer to be Santa. I also feel like my issues with doing it are reasonable and defensible.

AITA?

TL;DR: Wife wants me to volunteer to be Santa at an event she is hosting for her job. I do not feel comfortable playing Santa. She is unhappy with this decision.

Santa is dead, long live Santa!

# ? May 1, 2024 05:34

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

just channel your inner Mick Foley dude

# ? May 1, 2024 05:36

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Counterpoint: *gently caress* wearing velvet and fur in July.

# ? May 1, 2024 05:43

deoju: Jul 11, 2004; All the pieces matter.; Nap Ghost

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for being unwilling to play Santa?

quote:
"yeah, the something else was I wad going to wait and you would warm up to the idea."

This would turn my "firm no" into an "11 on the mohs hardness scale" no.

Just straight up saying "I was planning on manipulating you. I thought it would work because I've consciously done it to you in the past."

# ? May 1, 2024 05:48

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Just lose the weight until you can't play santa.

Don't get too ripped or you'll have to play Santa with Muscles though

# ? May 1, 2024 05:49

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I might be weird but 30s doesn't seem like a weird age to be a dress-up Santa. Does he think only guys in their 50s do it?

# ? May 1, 2024 05:49

mystes: May 31, 2006

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Are you like intentionally ignoring the bits where she didn't want a third kid until her friends had girls, or

What does any of that have to do with what I said?

# ? May 1, 2024 05:53

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

ApplesandOranges posted:

I might be weird but 30s doesn't seem like a weird age to be a dress-up Santa. Does he think only guys in their 50s do it?

Maybe he doesn�t know about fake beards?

# ? May 1, 2024 05:55

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

mystes posted:

What does any of that have to do with what I said?

On the scale of "Bad Reasons To Want To Have Kids' that's pretty high up there. It is, in fact, relevant!

# ? May 1, 2024 05:58

capncthulhu: Oct 4, 2021

Isn't there a lizard with a ladder named Bill in Alice?

# ? May 1, 2024 06:01

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It always stuck me with the stupid nerd names that there's perfectly good reference names you can have that your kid never even has to know about. But that's not the point. It's just Tragedeigh for a different flavour of brainworms.

# ? May 1, 2024 06:13

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