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The crabs have it. In the bag!
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Apr 18, 2024 22:26
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2.23 Kyiv @ Backpfeifengesichter European Cup Round of 16, 2nd Leg Minor Fatigue: PokiiTax, The Mattybee, Twovery Best Moderate Fatigue: Nizahaha, 3TatoManJack   6' - Grouiiik scores on a header to get us off to a proper start. 1-0. 45' - Baklan saves another chance at the end of the half. 88' - stab sets up what I think is Grouiiik's first cannon shot goal from straight on. 2-0. That was fun. Let's see what's next. Surprisingly, Dortmund beats West London 5-2, so we won't have to deal with them this year. 5* clubs Marseille and Manchester advance as well; they might be our toughest obstacles. Quarterfinal opponent is Barcelona, convincing 4-1 winners over Glasgow. It'll be our first meeting with them. 2.27 Backpfeifengesichter (12-6-2, 1st) @ Dortmund (7-7-6, 7th) Minor Fatigue: BraveLThreester, stab, ChicoTR, iltwocche, Megane II, Nizahaha, 3TatoManJack Moderate Fatigue: Grouiiik   22' - Twackles intercepted the opening kickoff, but we didn't get anywhere with it. Here, AJ_IImpy resists a slide tackle, breaks in, and gets stuffed on a feint try by Bauchennss. 38' - A power shot gets us nothing. 45' - Dortmund is surprisingly passive at the end of the half and pays for it. Dragongem2 feints one of their defenders and then the keeper for a 1-0 lead. 60' - Another tackle on IImpy fails, another break-in succeeds, another feint is stymied. He's having a great unsuccessful match.  80' - Straight red for CM Kolowrat, ChicoTR's punishment for intercepting a pass. We get a corner kick but nothing comes from it. Then I intend to press with Dragongem2, but tackle instead and he gets a yellow from just shouldering the Dortmund player to the ground. Not the best play there.  A costly victory. Once again we do get lucky with the Support, knocking off the max. of 14 days from the injury. That's probably just enough to get him back for our next European Cup match at the end of the month. Bullet mostly dodged there. I also found it amusing that the sponsor the match was 'Built Ford Tough'. Apparently Chico wasn't. In transfer news, Munich is the headliner buying a 5* GK and and 5* DM. In related news, they move up the 2nd place in the Premier. Still eight points behind us, but they are still alive in the National Cup also. 3.4 Augsburg @ Backpfeifengesichter National Cup Quarterfinals, 2nd Leg Minor Fatigue: stab, Nizahaha, Grouiiik Moderate Fatigue: Dragongem2, AJ_IImpy Injured: ChicoTR (21d)   6' - Gallina stuffs a cross attempt. 22' - iltwocche runs across the field, slide tackles, long passes back across the field, and Megane II finishes with a cannon shot. One of our more spectacular goals. 1-0. 28' - Cowardchen saves on an angled shot by the ever-annoying Vielhaber. HT - Twackles in for iltwocche. 52' - Power shot from Vielhaber this time, also handled.  Figured I'd try an Aggressive Tackle, probably would have scored if it worked. 90+1' - Augsburg's fourth shot of the day finally gets them a corner. Only a weak long-range power shot results. 5 saves gets Cowardchen Man of the Match, and we're through. Munich and Leipzig also advance; Leverkusen is ashamed of themselves after a 3-0 loss on penalties to Stuttgart. How do you not score even once? Just how?? We get Leipzig in the semifinals, which means it's highly likely Munich will be the Final opponent assuming we get there. 3.6 Backpfeifengesichter (13-6-2, 1st) @ Dusseldorf (4-11-6, 15th) Minor Fatigue: Tworrannor, Nizahaha, Dragongem2, Cowardchen Moderate Fatigue: stab, iltwocche, Megane II, AJ_IImpy Injured: ChicoTR (19d)   22' - Arctworas cross-training is on hold for the moment due to our midfield situation. He sets up Grouiiik for an easy score, which he botches with a poor effort that's stopped. Engemann has a weak try easily saved by Cowardchen at our end. 42' - Another try after they don't even go after a loose ball in the deep corner; header is pushed wide. Embarassing. They get a power shot - corner, a cross to Geney is shut down by pthighs. 52' - A motivated Grouiiik shows off with a bicycle kick. Maybe just be a little more cautious and make sure you score after failing both previous attempts in the match, pal? 1-0. 90' - A final corner kick to end the match. pthighs gets the job done again ... except he deflects it straight to Engemann. He shoots, we don't react well, and he scores. 1-1.  I am disgust. 3.13 Wolfsburg (7-4-11, 14th) @ Backpfeifengesichter (13-7-2, 1st) Minor Fatigue: Grouiiik, pthighs Moderate Fatigue: blackmongoose Injured: ChicoTR(12d)   24' - We're playing for a scoreless draw and to rest players. So much for that. Due to not being able to get the ball back at midfield, Muller is able to feint BraveLThreester, and then Kantwohlu misses a close tackle. Third roll of cannon shot scores. 1-0. 36' - Nice long pass intercept by Nizahaha. 45' - They score again the same way. Not our best match. 2-0. 50' - PokiiTax manages to tackle Mattern, keeping it from getting any worse. 68' - We get a corner kick. Mattern narrowly outjumps Twovery Best, strong effort by both players.  The recent unpleasantness has shrunk our lead somewhat. We're still in charge, but not comfortably so.
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Apr 22, 2024 12:20
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Oops, my bad guys
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Apr 22, 2024 15:34
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Leverkusen in front of Munich, art imitates life.
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Apr 22, 2024 16:16
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Strategic Sage posted:
I'd like to donate all my guy's points in Defense and Control to charity (unless it was intercepting a Long/Layoff Pass, in which case I don't want to donate his stars).
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Apr 22, 2024 22:56
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Charity doesn't want them.
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Apr 25, 2024 05:08
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3.18 Backpfeifengesichter @ Leipzig National Cup Semifinal, 1st Leg Minor Fatigue: blackmongoose, PokiiTax Moderate Fatigue: Nizahaha, 3TatoManJack Injured: ChicoTR (7d)   2' - Early kick off interception by Twackles. 28' - blackmongoose is involved quite a bit early, misses a slide tackle here. 36' - Long pass through our line to Haar; good try on a cannon shot, but Cowardchen pushes it out for a corner. CF Gazi scores a header against meh efforts from both our keeper and pthighs. 1-0. 44' - Easy cross for Grouiiik. 1-1. Both scores have hit the crossbar, so the animation says they almost missed before going in. HT - I hesistantly switch in Nizahaha for blackmongoose. I'm not sure who we are better off with out there. 50' - Megane II gets his second assist of the day on another cross. These aren't gimme headers - 105 to 86 on the result for that one - but quite probable ones. 2-1. 54' - Twackles again. He makes an unlikely lofted pass to Megane II, only to see RD Schimpf poke it out for a throw-in. A pthighs power shot - yes you read that correctly - results, and we get a corner kick. The whole stadium knows what's coming. It's basically a coin-flip between Grouiiik and LD Keebler, but we get the better of it barely and the hat trick. 3-1. 90' - Nizahaha shows off, intercepting a L3 long pass.  That should be plenty to put us in the final. Stuttgart stuns Munich 1-0 ... if they hold that lead it would basically be a walk-over for us. 3.20 Nuremberg (6-6-11, 16th) @ Backpfeifengesichter (13-7-3, 1st) Minor Fatigue: pthighs, iltwocche, blackmongoose, Nizahaha, 3TatoManJack, Grouiiik Moderate Fatigue: Twackles, Megane II Injured: ChicoTR (5d)   24' - They try to hold it on the wing. Long pass from iltwocche for a cannon shot score from Dragongem2. 1-0, and iltwocche immediately comes out for Nizahaha. HT - AJ_IImpy for 3TatoManJack for no reason in particular other than continuing to keep bodies fresh. 74' - They have no long-passers, but MF Puerta long-passes over the defense. A poor effort by Krahmer on a cannon shot ... but a worse one by Cowardchen who literally just got out of the way (minimum roll of 1 which is an automatic goal). 1-1. FT - pthighs is MoM. Hopefully this draw won't come back to bite us; it doesn't feel good. 3.27 Backpfeifengesichter (13-8-3, 1st) @ Munich (11-9-4, 2nd) This begins the do-or-die crunch time stretch of the season; five straight weeks of cup matches, and we start by visiting one of our top challengers in the League, in the rain. ChicoTR is back from injury but still needs some rest before he can reasonably play. That will help, but the damage is still done to an extent; we head into this stretch in a sub-par place when it come to midfield fatigue. That's only going to get worse, and if we don't make it through with all of the trophies, that's probably going to be why we fail. There'll be some tough lineup decisions, and the smart money is on me screwing some of them up. We'll just have to take it match by match. Minor Fatigue: iltwocche, 3TatoManJack Moderate Fatigue: Nizahaha Major Fatigue: ChicoTR   If we lose this match, our lead in the league drops to two points plus still a strong edge in goal differential. On the other hand, playing any of our top players means risking not having them available for the European Cup three days from now. Rock, meet hard place. 4' - pthighs is out there to tackle LF Gnass. He doesn't come close, but Cowardchen snares the cross with one of his best saves yet - 222 on the roll. Good time for it. 26' - BraveLThreester shows us how it's not done, missing a slide tackle on the flank. Gnass gets a break-in. Not only does pthighs miss the tackle without fouling, but we get another save. Bullet dodged. 38' - Nearly a turnover on a bad pass by iltwocche. Munich counters with a low-odds cross, pass is out for a goalkick and that's the half. HT - Welp that was not a whole lot of fun. We never got a chance to attack, were under pressure pretty regularly, and are quite fortunate to still be even. I think about making a change or two, but it seems best to stay with what we have. 50' - An out-of-position youngster crossing in the rain to our backup veteran CF. Grouiiik would have only slightly better odds, and I'm saving him. Other options aren't a whole lot better - you may have noticed Munich has a good defense. Not great, but quite good. Easy save for Friedinger. 74' - We are just trying to defend and retain a draw at this point. KG3 wins the second and final roll on his slide tackle against Helwich. Bad things probably would have happened if he missed. We get another shot at a cross on the other end ... nearly scores but it's batted out for a corner. This is probably our last possession this match. Rainbow Feint is the only thing Friedinger is vulnerable to. It's poor odds at a cross again, or poor odds at getting an entry pass to AJ_IImpy in the box. The rain of course doesn't help with any of this, but that's been a two-way street all day. Grouiiik comes in, iltwocche will take the kick. Grouiiik has 183 against 145 for CD Lobstein and 192 for Freidinger. A reasonable chance but more likely to miss; it's better than any other option. 95 for him. 95 for Lobstein who just barely misses ... 162 for Freidinger. Well both keepers have earned their pay today. Kantwolhu deflects a last-second try by Helwich, and that's that.  A draw is probably good enough for the moment. It feels like we just scraped by today. 3.30 Backpfeifengesichter @ Barcelona European Cup Quarterfinals, 1st Leg Minor Fatigue: Cowardchen, BraveLThreester, blackmongoose, AJ_IImpy, Twovery Best, Arctworas, Grouiiik, Nizahaha, ChicoTR Moderate Fatigue: KG3, iltwocche   Almost everyone can play, almost nobody is fully rested. Barca has a strong defensive setup; most likely result here is a draw and hope they aren't as well-prepared for the second match at our place. We'll give the flank-cross idea a try, but the odds of success aren't great. 2' - They try to pass directly through Twackles. That works as badly as it usually does.  HT - This is in the Top 5 dumbest halves of football I've seen. They stalled; we had nothing better than counter-stalling. Then Barcelona gets sick of that, and Tejada ends the half with this back-pass, which rolls to a stop near the mouth of the goal. Both clubs owe an apology to the paying customers in attendance. PokiiTax in for The Mattybee who did a lot of running. At least we can try to keep plenty of slide-tackling out there. 50' - Teodoro tackles Tworrannor by an 81-80 margin. If we'd won that, it's probably a goal and a win. The fates, aka dice, are fickle. 66' - Grouiiik cannon shots gets us a corner. They hung out with the ball right next to Twackles to allow that, which I wasn't expecting. There's nobody good enough to oppose us on the header, and it scores. 1-0. FT - We get a one-goal win and Twackles is Man of the Match. I'd like a larger lead of course, but our odds of holding at home are strong. Dortmund loses 3-1 to Old Rome, so it's not looking great for them; Marseille drops a 2-1 decision to decidedly inferior Wolfsberg. Manchester is the only top club that does what they're supposed to, winning 2-1 @ Estoril.   Tworrannor starts working on stamina. 4.3 Backpfeifengesichter (13-9-3, 1st) @ Hoffenheim (11-8-6, 5th) Minor Fatigue: The Mattybee, Grouiiik, KG3, iltwocche Moderate Fatigue: Twackles, ChicoTR   An opportunity here with our lead down to three points; Hoffenheim has one defender injured and a second suspended. Chaos from the start. I'll give them credit, they went all out. A run up the flank on the opening kickoff gets by Nizahaha but not BraveLThreester. Remember, control is all that matters for wingers. They never use their defense. Right??. Later, a lofted pass misses and ends us with us having to take the ball away from them in the penalty area. 45' - Nizahaha sets up Megane II with a cannon shot. Both rolls fail. Cmon, you don't get that many chances at this. We do get a corner though. Twovery Best ends the half by ... losing on the jump to CD Odenthal. The 30-somethings not exactly getting it done there. HT - Kangra in for KG3, fatigue sub. Hoffenheim has a tired defender, but the change makes their formation even worse. 52' - Birnbaum is very late on the reaction, and we get a crossing goal from TB2. 1-0. 64' - After an unimpressive but sound tackle by GladRagKraken, we counter with a similar tally. 2-0. 76' - And again, just for the fun of it. 3-0.   Another stamina selection, and a SL record for non-keepers. Leverkusen didn't cooperate and won their match also, but we gained some ground on the others. I'll try to be faster with the next update; it's likely to decide our season. By the end of it we'll either have made the European Cup final ... or we won't.
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May 1, 2024 05:12
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Keeping the dream alive!
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May 1, 2024 08:32
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Our Crabs can't be stopped
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May 1, 2024 22:09
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https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2024/apr/27/and-now-for-the-pinchline-competition-crowns-worlds-funniest-crab-joke
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May 2, 2024 00:40
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4.6 Barcelona @ Backpfeifengesichter European Cup Quarterfinals, 1st Leg Minor Fatigue: ChicoTR, KG3, GladRagKraken Moderate Fatigue: Nizahaha Major Fatigue: Twovery Best, BraveLThreester Severe Fatigue: Megane II   4' - Flank cross manuever fails: Teodoro makes the tackle on Tworrannor, though it was quite close. 30' - ChicoTR sets up what should have been another chance at it due to Barcelona not having much in the way of offense. Slide Tackle + Long Pass + terrible cross that did nothing. 45' - ChicoTR comes forward and takes it away from their defender; their second time stalling this match but it was just in range for him. Easy cross and score for Grouiiik. 1-0. HT - blackmongoose in for ChicoTR. 64' - Mejia nutmegs on the wing, crosses for Yepez. Could have scored, but Cowardchen blocks it out for a corner. They set up badly for anothor cross, and pthighs knocks it down.  That was just good enough. Elsewhere it appears the football universe has decided not to resist us. Old Rome beats Dortmund 5-3, Wolfsberg 4-1 over Marseille, and Estoril rallies to knock out Manchester 4-3. All three results are upsets. We get Old Rome for the semifinals and basically have no excuse now if we don't win.   The run on Stamina perks continues. 4.10 Stuttgart (7-10-9, 13th) @ Backpfeifengesichter (14-9-3, 1st) Minor Fatigue: PokiiTax, Twovery Best, blackmongoose Moderate Fatigue: Megane II, BraveLThreester Major Fatigue: ChicoTR   The first half was exceptionally boring. 50' - A couple of good defensive plays by GladRagKraken. 68' - Stuttgart scores off a corner kick, this time we don't stop the header. 1-0. 90' - KG3, iltwocche, and AJ_IImpy combine to barely score at the end, annoying the visitors who almost had a cheap three points. 1-1. We only had 42% possession, but IImpy is MoM anyway.   GladRagKraken starts L2 Head Play training after getting Level 2 Skill Trainable. 4.13 Backpfeifengesichter @ Old Rome European Cup Semifinals, 1st Leg Minor Fatigue: GladRagKraken, KG3, Arctworas, iltwocche, 3TatoManJack, AJ_IImpy, BraveLThreester, Megane II, ChicoTR The usual deal of half the squad could use a bit of rest but they are all set to play.   4' - We start out with Twackles intercepting the kickoff, and end it with our first failed header against GK Savino. HT - Our slide-tackling keeps the action mostly on their end the rest of the half, but no more real chances. blackmongoose in for Twackles. 50' - Bad pass by iltwocche, missed tackle by Megane II. Not what we were looking for, but stab stops the feint attempt by Francona.  66' - A new play I haven't done before. We can't pass directly to Megane, because DM Acqua has maxed-Intercept. So the pass goes to Grouiiik, then to Megane, then a cross back to Grouiiik who is able to score this time. 1-0. They dribble through stab, but Kantwolhu takes care of it. 86' - Another crossing goal that we didn't deserve. 2-0, and naturally Grouiiik takes the honors. Should be enough to put us in the final; we're running out of hurdles here. Estoril and Wolfsberg play to a scoreless draw. 4.17 Leipzig (13-6-8, 3rd) @ Backpfeifengesichter(14-10-3, 1st) Minor Fatigue: stab, Twackles, iltwocche Moderate Fatigue: ChicoTR Major Fatigue: Megane II   4' - An opening power shot is denied by Jaeke. 20' - And another one. They aren't being very hospitable to our attempts to get a corner kick. 34' - Perseverance pays off. Leipzig counter-attacking is getting them nowhere, so we keep getting chances. Our reward is for Grouiiik to get shut down on the cross by the elf himself, LD Keebler.  And then dumb happens. Having nothing better to do, we blast a power shot, it rebounds to Tworrannor, they don't bother to even press, and their keeper commits a penalty foul. The Twackler converts. 1-0. HT - I decide it's worth using all three subs to give players some rest. 56' - Another corner kick. It's Twovery Best's turn to jump poorly and get stuffed. 74' - And yet another corner. Keebler is subbed out, and TB2 utilizes this fact to get himself a goal. 2-0. pthighs is MoM, and Coach Level 68 irrelevantly gives us the final tier of the Inspire Footballers ability that I'll never use. Our lead is up to five points in the league, with six matches left. We are staying in that 'in front, but too close for comfort' range. 4.20 Old Rome @ Backpfeifengesichter European Cup Semifinals, 2nd Leg Minor Fatigue: The Mattybee, Twackles, iltwocche, Tworrannor, ChicoTR Moderate Fatigue: Nizahaha, Grouiiik, Twovery Best, Megane II Major Fatigue: AJ_IImpy   It's possible this would be a different semifinal if they had played this lineup the first time around. We don't really have a good way to defend a midfield with good passing skills and dual wing forwards that both have maxed-out cannon shot. 6' - Break-in by Tworrannor succeeds but fails to draw a penalty. We get a corner kick, but that's pretty useless in this matchup. 34' - iltwocche gets a yellow for failing on a slide tackle. The ensuing free-kick is used to set up Gislimberti for a cannon shot. 1-0. 44+1' - Tworrannor draws a penalty on the break-in this time, and Dragongem2 converts it. Gives us some breathing room again. 1-1. HT - A couple of subs come in; we just need to not have the second half be a disaster. 78' - Nizahaha almost stops a long pass, but not quite. Cowardchen stops a cannon shot this time, but they still get a corner. pthighs almost certainly saves a goal by snagging the pass into the box. 90' - They chain together two good lofted passes to get Francona an easy feint goal at the end. We lose 2-1.  We move on to the final 3-2 on aggregate, but this is a good reminder that we're not invincible. We'd have been at the mercy of a shootout if not for that first-half penalty, and we had some luck to give ourselves a two-goal lead coming in. We needed both of them. More importantly of course, we are in the Final against Estoril, 2-1 winners over Wolfsberg. We've got three more competitions to win, and are likely to win all three, but none certain yet. I refuse to use the phrase that shall not be uttered.   ChicoTR adds 30% XP. Next update figures to be domestic in focus. We have the second leg against Leipzig in the National Cup, but I'd be shocked if we didn't easily handle that with a two-goal lead. Then we'll have a few league matches to try and wrap up the Premier. If we're going to stumble, it will likely be in one of the Cup finals, with all the risk that goes with determining a champion in a single match. That's a month away yet on the season calendar.
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May 8, 2024 06:35
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Is that IImpy's first MOTM?
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May 8, 2024 11:00
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We have it in the bag!!
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May 8, 2024 11:57
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AJ_Impy posted:Is that IImpy's first MOTM? Nope. He doesn't get them often though; that's his third.
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May 8, 2024 13:18
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Very nice
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May 8, 2024 15:47
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It's always hilarious to me when a GK gets a yellow or red card.
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May 8, 2024 17:04
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The crabs are in the bag and ready to boil! It's going to be weird if it doesn't come down to being eliminated by one bad round in a tournament, but instead just failing to get enough points to win the league.
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May 9, 2024 18:56
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So much exciting football… it really feels close this time. We have the inside track on everything so it’s time to start buying confetti and decorating crab cakes. Nothing can stop us except ourselves.Strategic Sage posted:Remember, control is all that matters for wingers. They never use their defense. Right??. Thanks for the helpful reminder to change PokiiTax’s focus attribute to Control now that he is playing fullback more often, hooray! (okay point taken, but he doesn’t have a lot of levels left so I’m still doing this out of spite)
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May 12, 2024 21:26
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I have half a mind to change it to Accuracy ...
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May 12, 2024 23:56
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4.24 Backpfeifengesichter (15-10-3, 1st) @ Frankfurt (8-5-15, 17th) Minor Fatigue: Twackles, ChicoTR, iltwocche, Nizahaha, 3TatoManJack, AJ_IImpy Moderate Fatigue: Tworrannor   28 ' - Our first shot is by blackmongoose, blocked by their defense. Odder Wilson gets a block at our end. 45' - With our defense increasingly out of position, Di Iacovo gets a cannon shot. Fortunately Cowardchen blocks it out for a corner. pthighs stops the pass in, and we hold. HT - Mattybee in, BraveLThreester out. They also change up their formation and have six defenders now, so our crossing plan is no longer viable. 58' - After holding it on the flank, Megane II goads one of their defenders out of position allowing him to put in a cross for Grouiiik anyway. 1-0. ChicoTR comes in for him. 70' - The others side is less well-defended, and Nizahaha gets an assist on the counter, ChicoTR setting it up with a long pass. 2-0. 86' - ChicoTR stops a nutmeg at midfield, and we score one more time just for the fun of it. 3-0.   BraveLThreester finishes out the Talent Tree.   30% XP for blackmongoose, who is out of instructions now although that probably doesn't matter. 4.29 Leipzig @ Backpfeifengesichter National Cup Semifinals, 2nd Leg Minor Fatigue: BraveLThreester, Megane II, Grouiiik, ChicoTR Moderate Fatigue: Nizahaha   4' - Twovery Best pushes the opening cross wide. 18' - We get a power shot through, but it's deflected right back to us. 26' - ChicoTR intercepts a L3 long pass at midfield. That sets up another crossing chance, and this one scores. 1-0. HT - Defense is holding as usual, so we make a couple of subs. 64' - Another good play in midfield by Chico, heading away a long pass. blackmongoose gets a long shot that absolutely should not have worked, but somehow sneaks through. 2-0. 90' - Corner kick, and we bring in Grouiiik just because. Keebler is much quicker to the ball though. 5-1 aggregate, and blackmongoose is MoM. We'll get Munich in the final; they outlast Stuttgart in a shootout, 11-10. That's how a shootout is done, if you have to do one. Why do we never get one of those?? 5.1 Backpfeifengesichter (16-10-3, 1st) @ Hanover (8-8-13, 16th) Minor Fatigue: stab, iltwocche, Twovery Best, Grouiiik, AJ_IImpy, Nizahaha Moderate Fatigue: ChicoTR Major Fatigue: blackmongoose   16' - Corner for Hanover. Easily defended, and the rest of the half is boring until the traditional dumb and pointless backpass to end it. 64' - Slide tackle + long pass combo by iltwocche, AJ_IImpy is in position for a rainbow feint, but Wernicke puts up the NO sign. 84' - 'Routine' tackle by stab against FW Mollais, and it results 51-51. Almost missed it. Then they get a bad cross, Cowardchen saves. pthighs is Man of the Match, but I can't even say we were the better side in this scoreless draw. All together now: 'There were no significant events.' Four league matches left: Backpfeifengesichter - 59 pts Leverkusen - 53 Leipzig - 51 Munich - 48 Hoffenheim - 48 We probably have enough. It'd be real nice to be sure though. 5.8 Berlin (9-12-9, 9th) @ Backpfeifengesichter (16-11-3, 1st) Minor Fatigue: iltwocche, AJ_IImpy, blackmongoose   4' - Break-in and unsuccessful power shot by Tworrannor. 30' - A couple plays for pthighs on crosses; knocks one out for a corner, then defends the corner on another cross. 45' - Twackles meaninglessly intercepts a pass to end the half. 48' - And another to start the second half. That should have resulted in a cross for us, but somebody hit the wrong button ...  Somehow this did not result in injury. It did however result in an easy header for Grouiiik. First time we've scored in about two matches. 1-0.  Leverkusen wins also, keeping our lead at six points. Everyone else is now eliminated. stab finishes L3 Long Pass. 5.15 Augsburg (9-11-11, 12th) @ Backpfeifengesichter (17-11-3, 1st) Minor Fatigue: iltwocche   8' - We're getting good at blowing scoring chances. Successful break-in, get the corner this time, 50-50 shot at entry pass, and ChicoTR makes up for his recent strong play by blowing it. 22' - A very confusing play. they feint stab, Kantwohlu cleans it up, then they slide-tackle away from him, try a shot, we make the save. So a bunch of stuff happened that probably didn't ultimately matter. 36' - With the formations on both ends looking like swiss cheese, they get a corner kick. stab pushes them out, then survives a L3 Slide Tackle somehow. Show-off. Dragongem2 tries hopelessly to feint his way close for a goal, but they easily tackle it. 52' - Naturally another power shot - you use what you have - but Cowardchen holds this one in. ChicoTR long-passes to Dragongem2, and his cannon shot puts us on the board. 1-0. They get another corner, but our defense remains impregnable. Cowardchen has the MoM this time.  Leverkusen refuses to let us have our celebration. I'm just glad they weren't this good the last couple of years. Two seasons back we won the Premier with a point fewer than they have with two matches left to play. As it is, we would have to lose both remaining matches by a total of 20 goals to not take the crown. That's not happening. It doesn't matter who we throw out there in those; but it does matter that we win the two Cup Finals that are upcoming. Last chances for us to screw it up.
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May 21, 2024 02:50
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Craaaaaaaaaaaaab
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May 21, 2024 08:12
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I have to hand it to our manager, for being the crabbiest of all. 
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May 21, 2024 08:21
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Two out of four achieved, right? Or do we need to also win the Club World Cup again?
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May 21, 2024 09:07
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Our defense is too tough to chew.
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May 21, 2024 10:47
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In the Bag status: It's.
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May 21, 2024 22:22
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5.20 Munich vs. Backpfeifengesichter National Cup Final Minor Fatigue: stab   A conservative approach by Munich, and we'll hope for some break-ins to get cheap goals. 4' - Tworrannor loses it to CD Lobstein on our first attempt. Not what I had in mind. 26' - After stalling, they long-pass through us and get an angled shot by CF Helwich. Even though it was a power shot, it was close to scoring. Too close. HT - We were even at best in that half, and are 45 minutes away from a shootout. They get the ball first to start the second half. I can't think of anything better to do though; Friedinger has low control but as a 5* with L3 Playing Out, crossing won't be a better option. The natural pessimist in me is quite concerned. I remember once again that it only takes one match to fail, and if Helwich's shot had been eight points better we'd be losing right now. 48' - Twackles intercepts the kickoff. iltwocche tackles it back once they take it, and has two rolls of 11 vs. 12 to get a long pass up for another break-in attempt. Instead, Helwich intercepts it. blackmongoose takes it back with a slide tackle, but now we have no realistic way to score. 82' - Another chance for iltwocche to set up a scoring chance for us; an errant lofted pass at midfield. Just needs to make a slide tackle ... fails on both rolls. Twackles cleans up, but once again we can't really counter with DM Montana patrolling any otherwhise routine passes forward. Shoot-out it is. Ok. We are favored in any individual shoot-out. We've won more than we've lost. We haven't lost one of these in a long time. This is fine. We can do this. We can do this. We've won 2-1 in both times shoot-outs could have derailed our run. Winning all three would just be that much more lucky, but we only have to win this one. Do a good job. Do a good job. DO A GOOD JOB.  - CF Helwich is naturally up first for them. As you can see, he has three spots of near-automatic to choose from. I don't like those odds, and he places it in the right side. blackmongoose is at 96%, but that's still plenty as Friedinger dives the opposite way. 1-1, four chances left for each side. - CD Lobstein has a more pedestrian 94% in those spots. Nevermind the hilarity of their CD being the second-best shooter. He converts easily. I'm getting more nervous. The Twackler (93%) is next up, he goes high ... and they sniff it out, snagging the try. Twackles sits down on the penalty spot, head in his hands. 2-1 Munich with three attempts to go. This Is Fine I tell myself. I don't believe me. - DM Montana has 94% as well. He goes high and scores. We're in trouble. AJ_IImpy at 93% has to score here. His try freezes their keeper and is easily good. 3-2. We're still in this. They're going to miss one eventually, right? RIGHT?? Pretty-please??? - DF Alzen, third defender in a row which is all categories of stupid. 93% for him. Instead, he goes for the lowest-odds sector, high and left. And buries it. Tworrannor, 93%, is up to keep us alive. They guess wrong. 4-3. - So it's all down to this. We need a stop, and a score for our next shooter to go into 'shootout overtime' or we lose. LF Gnass (93%) steps up. Cowardchen is ready. Gnass places it easily into the right side. It's over.  I definitely don't want to bash iltwocche here; everyone gets unlucky from time to time. But it's absolutely hilarious to me that he is MoM for this. Shootouts just are what they are. Munich didn't miss, with some risk of it happening on every shot and quite a bit on Alzen's try. After having the ones we could have lost go our way time and time and time again, it didn't happen here. So guess what, crabs? It's not over yet. Best-case scenario is two more years, if there are still enough people around who care to continue for that long. We 'lose the draw', and Munich are German Champions.  I didn't want there to be a next year, Mr. President. I really didn't. Having said that: How ya'll feeling about that 'in the bag status' now? Hmm?? 5.22 Backpfeifengesichter (18-11-3, 1st) @ Monchengladbach (12-6-14, 10th) Minor Fatigue: Twackles, Tworrannor, stab Moderate Fatigue: blackmongoose Major Fatigue: iltwocche   An 'empty the bench' formation basically. If we don't win the European Cup final that adds an extra year on to our next chance. 12' - Corner kick fails when CD Fennell out jumps Twovery Best 28' - PokiiTax fails a slide tackle, but fortunately Cowardchen makes up for it with a save. 52' - Power shot fails to get us another corner. 84' - Another shot for CF Friedek, another save to keep it even. FT - A scoreless draw makes us Premier League Champions officially; Cowardchen is Man of the Match. 5.25 Estoril vs. Backpfeifengesichter European Cup Final Minor Fatigue: Nizahaha, blackmongoose, Cowardchen Moderate Fatigue: 3TatoManJack, iltwocche   4' - Flank-cross works, but DF Madeira knocks it down. That was as close to a coin-flip chance as it gets. stab intercepts a long pass on the other end, and we get another chance, this time with Madeira out of position. Easy score for Grouiiik ... well no, he nudges it wide. In case you didn't get the memo fellas, this is not the match for that. If we lose this one as well, I will not be amused. 28' - Cowardchen's first save of the match. HT - I meant to do the Most Important Match of the Season for this one, but I forgot. So I do the next best one, try to inspire them; 71 Glory to give players some extra motivation at the start of the half. We start with four motivated players including Grouiiik ... 54' - ... but it kinda doesn't matter when The Mattybee blows a slide tackle. That's been going around lately. At least he gets motivated at that point, giving him another shot at it. 84' - After an errant lofted pass lands on ChicoTR he passes it ahead and this time Grouiiik ... jumps badly, rolling less than half his maximum. However, everyone else does even worse and he scores anyway, 1-0. That could easily have been another shootout fellas. Seriously, whatever 'recreational drugs' you all have been on these last few matches, better get your fill in the off-season and be ready to actually play next year. 90' - A power shot by FW Deans gets through Kangra and Odder Wilson somehow. What was that? Thankfully it's kept in play, but that could have been a game-tying corner kick.  We're European champions again along with world champions ... but not German champions. Why. Just Why. 5.29 Backpfeifengesichter (18-12-3, 1st) @ Leverkusen (18-8-7, 2nd) Leverkusen has finished the season on a tear, and if we'd lost or even drawn one fewer match we'd be in danger here. Minor Fatigue: ChicoTR, Nizahaha, Grouiiik, 3TatoManJack Major Fatigue: The Mattybee   We start with our best sequence in quite a while. Tackle by stab to start, he loses it, then a slide tackle back by BraveLThreester, followed up by a long pass from iltwocche to Megane II. Run up the side and cross, and Twovery Best finishes. That's a lot of people involved. 1-0. 28' - Similar play again, only a bit easier. 2-0. Now we're getting all the rolls on the headers, since it doesn't matter much anymore. Go figure. HT - One sub, Arctworas in for Megane II. Might as well. We don't cover ourselves in glory the rest of the way, but we do keep them from scoring.  One match short of our goal. One stinking lousy match.   Our best club ever, by quite a bit when you consider how dominant we were on defense. Shortly after the season ends, GK Cowardchen finishes L1 Strong Goalkeeper and starts L2. Training sessions are one up and one down. iltwocche is successful, blackmongoose is not. The club thinks I basically walk on water at this point, but still rejects my nearly-pointless Ask for Money request because of course they do. 69 points is a new high for us. We have the most wins (19), scoreless draws (7), best defense (13 goals conceded), best point differential (34, by far the best), longest streak without conceding a goal (7) - Cowardchen makes the Premier League team - The National Cup team has four of our players, Cowardchen, stab, pthighs, and iltwocche - European Cup gives us nobody. Jerks. - 5 players on the Club World Cup team.     I'd happily trade all of this for that stupid National Cup trophy.
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May 25, 2024 11:13
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After everybody gets a chance to read this, a thought: how many of you really want to do this another two seasons? I think it will be frankly quite boring, and I don't really feel like doing it. But I am interested in what all of you think. Rolling over most teams is just ... not that interesting and we're not going to learn much if anything from it. Most people have moved on from the thread I think (partly my fault, as obviously my speed at getting the updates out have faltered). But basically, just how do you all feel about calling it at this point, despite not quite actually having won.
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May 25, 2024 11:16
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If you're not feeling it then don't force yourself mate
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May 25, 2024 12:13
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ilmucche posted:If you're not feeling it then don't force yourself mate This. You’ve done far more in showcasing this admittedly niche game to the masses than I’d ever dream to. You deserve the rest.
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May 25, 2024 12:25
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I was great to read ! I now want to know all the bad (and the good) you think about our decisions !
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May 25, 2024 13:15
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I'm going to riot over that finals!! Well I think this LP was a lot of fun, although I agree it's a little bit too long and perhaps stale now. The most amusing part for me was the beginning, when half of our squad were drunks we pulled from the bar and the other half were just as bad amatours (also drunks). I'm fine with leaving the crabs as the team that came from nothing and almost did the impossible twice. Looking forward to whatever Sage decides to do next.
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May 25, 2024 13:24
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So drat close! You did a fantastic job. If you aren't feeling it, this is a good place to stop at. Continuing feels like fulfilling a chore, and also just mostly about hoping not to run into too much bad luck at the wrong time. I think your efforts would be better placed with doing a good retrospective on what you've suffered due to our decisions. And then doing whatever you want to.
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May 25, 2024 13:30
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Feel free to stop now, the most interesting part of building the team us done. Now it would just be grinding until you get the right run of dice rolls, which is less interesting. Thanks for doing this though, it was a great LP. I'll probably pick up version 2 of the game when it releases. And seconding the retrospective request ^^^
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May 25, 2024 17:16
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Shootouts are a crapshoot. Just rule it as them fielding an ineligible player and getting disqualified, Grats on the double quadruple.
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May 25, 2024 23:09
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I'm happy either way, this has been a fun adventure and if it's run its course, that's okay too. If you're still on the fence, a middle ground would be playing out the next two years relatively quickly solo and just giving us in the thread really high-level updates (player leveling/skill/specialization updates, general schedule & standings updates at our twice-a-year breaks, and automating recruit, retention, and coaching decisions).
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May 25, 2024 23:24
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I vote for calling it. It was great fun, though. And let's be real, I want to hear what you really thought of all our teambuilding choices. 
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May 26, 2024 00:53
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My contribution to this thread was the team name, and for that alone, I am content. Keep going if you really, really want to, but only if you really, really want to. This was a fantastic LP. I normally give absolutely no shits about football (either kind), but you made this interesting.
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May 26, 2024 09:10
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From a participation standpoint, we’re able to make fewer and fewer interesting decisions these days. I think the spirit of the LP, learning to slowly build a championship team, has been fulfilled. It’s still super fun to read but it makes sense to wind down here. Besides, this is an appropriate ending. We lost in a shootout and are resigned to at least two more years of toiling. That’s more perfect than winning!
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May 26, 2024 23:28
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Pokeytax posted:From a participation standpoint, we’re able to make fewer and fewer interesting decisions these days. Oh, we need to sell PokiiTax before the end of the LP.
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May 27, 2024 00:57
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Was a great ride, and I agree with what everyone is saying above. Definitely feels like the LP has run its course, so I'm happy with leaving it off here. Definitely curious about what you thought about our choices throughout the LP though!
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May 27, 2024 04:47
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