SporkChan posted:

Wait that was Hal that posted that.

##vote Hal

Teach me to post right after waking up.

SporkChan posted:

So far on my reread one thing I've noticed is that the big drama on D1 was between Iggy, Keats, and beet.

Who have all flipped town now.

So Scum was probably sitting back pretty for most of D1.

PhantomMuzzles posted:

Oh buckets Hal is scum with Illu

Maerlyn posted:

I'm doing something more interesting, poop math

4 people abstained from pooping Day 1, Tsietisin being one of them but not sure who the others were or why.

Hal Incandenza posted:

Nope

JosefStalinator posted:

Also ##poop on sporkchan

yuming posted:

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

Okay, caught up. smh a bit that Maer won't even attempt muddying the waters any with a wild bullshit claim but I respect not wanting to waste anybody's time too.

##poop on Spork

Is there anybody who still needs time to poop?

CubicalSucrose posted:

Hal Incandenza posted:

##poop on spork

PhantomMuzzles posted:

What does it mean that Cube is a cat in jail, did he do something bad?

PhantomMuzzles posted:

What does it mean that Cube is a cat in jail, did he do something bad?

Zoya posted:

when your avi turns into the cat in jail it means you recently got a high score

it's the only way to win something awful dot com

PhantomMuzzles posted:

If you're a cat in jail can you read stuff but not post? Or can you not read stuff either?

SporkChan posted:

Anyway, pretty sure it's Illu.

##vote Illu

For third I'm hung up on Cube and Hal mostly. With some minor pings from yumming, PMuzz, and Tsiet.

PhantomMuzzles posted:

Spreadsheets are dumb! Sugar cubes are yucky! I don't know what SAW is and I wish someone would explain it to me right this second or I'll never want to know about it again!

PhantomMuzzles posted:

Illu/Hal/Tsiet, and I'm the cutest bird. Calling it all now.

PhantomMuzzles posted:

Oh ok nvm

JosefStalinator posted:

Also who is scum, sorry I've been busy

quote:

You are Nanaki Kazuaki, the sleepy teacher!

You're a math teacher and you sleep a lot. Really a lot. This could possibly be related to the fact that you bleach your feathers, those fumes can not be healthy for a bird. You're generally well-liked by your students, even if you have a dark past that you hide.

Your starting stats are:
WIS 5
VIT 1
CHA 3

Because of your starting stats, you may pick one of the following common oneshot abilities:
Track: As a night action you may ##track another player, learning who they visited
Watch: As a night action you may ##watch a player, learning who visits them. You may use this ability on yourself.
Ninja: When performing a night action, you may combine it with the ##ninja to make your action undetectable

On reaching certain stat levels, you will gain the following personal abilities:
WIS 8: Pretty Coore Light Grey: You are a member of the Pretty Coore Magical Girls (or at least cosplaying as one). On reaching this stat level, you will learn the identity of the other two Pretty Coore members. If more than one of you reaches this stat level, magical things will happen!
CHA 10: Better in Black: You stop bleaching your feathers. The lack of bleach fumes makes you so awake, you could probably dodge a bullet! You gain one passive stack of bulletproof.
VIT 10: Stabby: You gain a ##dayvig. If they haven't already flipped, you will also learn the identity of Dr Iwamine Shuu, who you blame for the death of your brother.

You are TOWN-aligned. You win when all threats to town have been eliminated.

quote:

You are Mr One, the janitor!

You are a Bright and Massive maintenance worker! Your secret identity is that of the S-class agent Leone J.B., but you're currently working undercover as a school janitor.

Your starting stats are:
WIS 5
VIT 3
CHA 1

Because of your starting stats, you may pick one of the following common oneshot abilities:
Track: As a night action you may ##track another player, learning who they visited
Watch: As a night action you may ##watch a player, learning who visits them. You may use this ability on yourself.
Ninja: When performing a night action, you may combine it with the ##ninja to make your action undetectable

On reaching certain stat levels, you will gain the following personal abilities:
WIS 10: Disarm bomb: As a night action you may ##prevent any lethal actions aimed at and performed by your target
VIT 7: Stun gun: Using your stun gun you may ##roleblock your target, stopping them from performing any action
WIS 8: Master key: Using your janitor's master key, you spy on another player, ##actioncoping them to find out what action they perform this night

You are TOWN-aligned. You win when all threats to town have been eliminated.

quote:

You are Albert, the butler!

You are a dark and mysterious man, an assassin who has killed countless people. Right now, you have been hired by Sakuya Le Bel Shirogane, where you work as his bodyguard and butler. But... something is different. You are not sure if it's because spring is coming, because of hormones or because the RNG had some really weird sense of humor when it picked you for this role, but whatever the reason, you are looking for LOVE!

Your starting stats are:
WIS 3
VIT 3
CHA 3

You are looking for your one true love! As a free unblockable night action you may ##ask out another player. If their preferred stat is lower than your corresponding stat, they will be impressed by your prowess and the two of you will fall in love and automatically ##abscond the next morning with a personal win for the two of you, as well as true love! This will be accompanied by romantic flavor text.

If the game ends or you are removed from the game without having found your true love, you will lose.

You may use your ##ask out action even if you have studied hard during the day, but may not use any additional action.

On reaching certain stat levels, you will gain the following personal abilities:
WIS 7: study hard As a oneshot you may gain an additional stat point
VIT 5: bulletproof feathers Your feathers are so sleek, they can block even bullets! You gain a oneshot bulletproof
CHA 7: During your night action you will also learn your target's preferred stat

You are SELF-aligned. You win according to your personal win condition.

quote:

You are Three Punkgeons, local delinquents!

You are delinquents who are not particularly bright or talented, but the sheer numbers can make up for it.

Your starting stats are:
WIS 1
VIT 1
CHA 1

On reaching certain stat levels, you will gain the following personal abilities:
CHA 5: They've got a gun!: Get a random ##dayvig. This will target a random player in the thread, including you. This ability is a prerequisite for your other personal abilities.
WIS 5: They can use the gun!: You may now aim your dayvig.
VIT 5: The gun is actually loaded!: Your dayvig is unstoppable by any normal means.

You are TOWN-aligned. You win when all threats to town have been eliminated.

Tsietisin posted:

**Posting with mod permission**

In the quiet glade, as dawn's first light painted the sky in hues of rose and gold, four birds danced amidst the swaying branches. Their feathers shimmered with the promise of spring as they intertwined, their melodies blending into a symphony of passion. With graceful movements, they whispered secrets known only to them, their love a timeless tale written in the language of flight and song. In that fleeting moment, the world stood still, captivated by the beauty of their union, as nature herself applauded their harmonious love story. Bif was made goddamn airtight.

mycelia posted:

Mods have confirmed that while I can't directly quote the mod communication, I *can* say that it was just the word "moe" over and over.