r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Saint Freak posted:

The entire point of the cookie table is that family and guests bring the cookies, so that you have an entire display of various cookies. It's like a buffet of cookies.

Sure, but do any of the guests know that? Is it up to the MIL to explain it when she is confused about the tradition herself? Hell, does the DIL even know what cookie table tradition she is asking for?

No one knows anything in that story and for whatever reason talking makes everyone more confused.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:08

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 19:11

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

captainOrbital posted:

this is of what it made me think

# ? May 1, 2024 19:09

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Ominous Jazz posted:

she didn't research hard enough because the first google result is explaining that it's not a one person affair

lol I don't know, maybe if you're asking someone to help you with a thing that's a regional tradition for you and completely new for them, explain it thoroughly and don't just tell them to "Do your own research!"

# ? May 1, 2024 19:10

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Is it fair for my partner (M27) to ask me (F25) to pay for half of his broken laptop?

quote:

I've been dating this guy for the past three months. Early on in dating, we had a mishap during sex where he fell on his work laptop which he had left on the floor next to the bed. He fell due to me pushing him over in the middle of things. Whilst he was without a laptop I actually lent him my own work laptop for over a month so that he was able to work.

The problem is, he has already recently broken one work laptop and is going through a disciplinary process at work. Because of this he didn't want to own up to having broken it. So, he decided to get it fixed himself. Feeling bad about being part to blame for this, I did offer to put something towards the costs, but I was thinking around �40 or so and he knows that I'm not very financially secure at the moment.

However, after getting it fixed, he has said that I owe him half of the cost which is �100. He's understanding that I don't have the money right now but is expecting that I pay it at some point.

I feel that this is unfair and was not what I meant when I said I'd put something toward it. I feel this is unfair since the reasons leading him to pay for it to be fixed himself are not my fault!

Is it fair of me to feel this way?

TLDR - The guy I'm seeing wants me to pay half the share of his laptop we broke during a sex accident. Is this fair?

Wonder how guy who broke his work laptop by leaving it on the floor next to the bed could possibly have broken his first work laptop :iiam:

# ? May 1, 2024 19:10

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

TehRedWheelbarrow posted:

if you ask me to get you something from the store, please specify what and what store please. we still have a pink flamingo toilet plunger because of that request and it is now a cherished family heirloom about how communication is important.

I can't focus on cookie chat when there's a goon on the loose that needs to be given a product number when sent out to buy a goddamn toilet plunger

# ? May 1, 2024 19:10

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

artsy fartsy posted:

I can't focus on cookie chat when there's a goon on the loose that needs to be given a product number when sent out to buy a goddamn toilet plunger

beep boop incompetence: weaponized

# ? May 1, 2024 19:11

mystes: May 31, 2006

limp_cheese posted:

Sure, but do any of the guests know that? Is it up to the MIL to explain it when she is confused about the tradition herself? Hell, does the DIL even know what cookie table tradition she is asking for?

No one knows anything in that story and for whatever reason talking makes everyone more confused.

Based on one comment, it does actually seem like they may be getting married in a place where the cookie table tradition is common

quote:

I don�t know, she is from there and my son moved up there.

This isn�t a thing in our area maybe we�re they live it�s a big deal but I truly don�t know

I just learned about this a day ago

So if they're in a place where the tradition is for the guests to provide the cookies and the fiance was just asking for OP to coordinate it might be more reasonable. But the other things OP said the fiance said seem to contradict this.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:12

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I guess you could use a plunger as a weapon

# ? May 1, 2024 19:12

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Ominous Jazz posted:

she's not being asked to bake a thousand cookies
she's being asked to take charge of the thousand cookie effort

Consider this: both are poo poo.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:13

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Saint Freak posted:

The entire point of the cookie table is that family and guests bring the cookies, so that you have an entire display of various cookies. It's like a buffet of cookies.

When I google "wedding cookie table" this is what pops up:

"prepared by family members" does make it feel like it should be homemade though I could see people interpreting it as "well we bought a bunch of cookies and 'prepared' them on the table."

1000+ homemade cookies is absolutely too much for one person to do. That is completely unreasonable, but we also don't know that it is directly what the future DIL asks. The post reads like this woman already has a bit of a grudge toward daughter in law for trying to get close to her and would be uncharitable toward anything DIL says/asks.

Edit: One of the top comments sums up my feelings:

quote:

There seems to be a huge empathy gap here from you towards your future DIL. It sounds like she has little to no family support. She's likely hoping to be close to her in-laws. It may also mean that her eagerness is causing her to display poor social skills. It also sounds like you and your daughters are only seeing that as an imposition to you, and not offering any grace. You may reflect on what you've done to establish better boundaries with your DIL and to acknowledge her own experiences. Because from the tone of your writing it sounds like you've decided she's annoying and you and your daughters are mean girling the hell out of someone who wants to be close to you without having adult conversations about boundaries.

You seem to be judging her for having a poor relationship with her family. That's an odd choice. Sometimes, in-laws step up in times like these to bridge the gap for traditions that their future family members desire because their own family is not safe or supportive. THey may do it to support their family member, in this case, your son, rather than the in-law. You can certainly choose not to do that. But the relationship with your future DIL and your son is likely to be affected by the result. How embarrassing it must be for her to have a valued tradition like the cookie table and no personal family to take up the task. How mortifying to have to ask future family members and then be told no.

I think you're maybe TA in general based on how you write about this young woman who seems to have had a rough go, family wise.

Mordiceius fucked around with this message at 19:17 on May 1, 2024

# ? May 1, 2024 19:13

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Shanghaied posted:

lol I don't know, maybe if you're asking someone to help you with a thing that's a regional tradition for you and completely new for them, explain it thoroughly and don't just tell them to "Do your own research!"

you ain't from michigan unless you've backed ten thousand and one cookies for your least favorite daughter in law

# ? May 1, 2024 19:15

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

ApplesandOranges posted:

I can't believe people are having an argument about cookies and it's not even a fun one, like whether double chocolate chip is better than triple chocolate chip.

Half chocolate chip :colbert:

# ? May 1, 2024 19:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I like my cookies like I like my women, baked.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:17

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Mordiceius posted:

When I google "wedding cookie table" this is what pops up:

"prepared by family members" does make it feel like it should be homemade though I could see people interpreting it as "well we bought a bunch of cookies and 'prepared' them on the table."

1000+ homemade cookies is absolutely too much for one person to do. That is completely unreasonable, but we also don't know that it is directly what the future DIL asks. The post reads like this woman already has a bit of a grudge toward daughter in law for trying to get close to her and would be uncharitable toward anything DIL says/asks.

Yep, I'm from northeastern Ohio and we did the homemade cookie thing at weddings. It has probably changed, but my boomer parents and their siblings definitely participated in the tradition.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:17

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Consider this: both are poo poo.

But what if you're from Eastern OH/Western PA, what then?

# ? May 1, 2024 19:17

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I would want to see the guest list and do my own cookie math, because 1000 cookies is a lot of fuckin cookies. maybe the DIL is just dogshit at conceptualizing how many cookies each guest will eat

# ? May 1, 2024 19:18

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Shanghaied posted:

But what if you're from Eastern OH/Western PA, what then?

# ? May 1, 2024 19:20

mystes: May 31, 2006

Mordiceius posted:

The post reads like this woman already has a bit of a grudge toward daughter in law for trying to get close to her and would be uncharitable toward anything DIL says/asks.

She seems to be saying that the daughter in law is moving too fast in trying to build a relationship with her and violating her boundaries, essentially. There isn't enough information in the post to determine if that is accurate or OP just refuses to build any sort of relationship with the DIL at all, so I think it doesn't make sense to condemn OP on that basis without more information.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:20

Barudak: May 7, 2007

hawowanlawow posted:

I would want to see the guest list and do my own cookie math, because 1000 cookies is a lot of fuckin cookies. maybe the DIL is just dogshit at conceptualizing how many cookies each guest will eat

Ah Mr. And Mrs. 6 Foot Party Sub Guy, so glad you could make it.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:20

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; Can't post for 22 days!

ApplesandOranges posted:

I can't believe people are having an argument about cookies and it's not even a fun one, like whether double chocolate chip is better than triple chocolate chip.

Last month there was a 5 page milk derail, so we knew cookies was coming. Buckle up for June where we argue about straws.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:20

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

hawowanlawow posted:

I would want to see the guest list and do my own cookie math, because 1000 cookies is a lot of fuckin cookies. maybe the DIL is just dogshit at conceptualizing how many cookies each guest will eat

Supposedly there are 250 guests. And, according to OP, "She doesn�t really talked to her family so that gets rid of that whole side" - does that mean that those 250 guests are all from OP/son's side? "my parents are old and in a home. I�m an only child, my daughters don�t have kids or are marrried. My husband has a sister but she is older and I highly doubt she would be interested. His parents are dead" Where the gently caress are these 250 people coming from?

# ? May 1, 2024 19:22

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

mom and dad fight a lot posted:

Last month there was a 5 page milk derail, so we knew cookies was coming. Buckle up for June where we argue about straws.

i like my straws like my lovers. crazy or disposable.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:22

Saint Freak: Apr 16, 2007; Regretting is an insult to oneself; Buglord

Anyways, here's some pictures of mine from my own wedding. (Married on Halloween, people didn't randomly just make spiders or whatever). Yes one person brought a bowl of fortune cookies which is the best kind of technicality.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:22

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

Barudak posted:

Ah Mr. And Mrs. 6 Foot Party Sub Guy, so glad you could make it.

It's apparently 250 guests.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:23

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

Saint Freak posted:

Anyways, here's some pictures of mine from my own wedding. (Married on Halloween, people didn't randomly just make spiders or whatever). Yes one person brought a bowl of fortune cookies which is the best kind of technicality.

Buckeyes!

# ? May 1, 2024 19:24

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Bonster posted:

It's apparently 250 guests.

I'd be makin 500 cookies, tops

# ? May 1, 2024 19:24

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

I would buy 100 boxes of

e: No actually I'd make a cookie table, not a table for cookies.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Bonster posted:

It's apparently 250 guests.

Yeah 248 cookies for 248 guests and 752 cookies for those two.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:26

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

3D Megadoodoo posted:

I would buy 100 boxes of

You are evil.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:26

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

ApplesandOranges posted:

I can't believe people are having an argument about cookies and it's not even a fun one, like whether double chocolate chip is better than triple chocolate chip.

Oatmeal Raisan.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:27

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Mordiceius posted:

Supposedly there are 250 guests. And, according to OP, "She doesn�t really talked to her family so that gets rid of that whole side" - does that mean that those 250 guests are all from OP/son's side? "my parents are old and in a home. I�m an only child, my daughters don�t have kids or are marrried. My husband has a sister but she is older and I highly doubt she would be interested. His parents are dead" Where the gently caress are these 250 people coming from?

quote:

I�m not surprised by the number, they included the family in invites. I know my son invited everyone he was friends with from college and included their family in the count. He is 33, most of his friends are married with kids.

I assume she did the same, she is 29 and I am sure she has a lot of her friends married or with kids.

Also I am sure they give people plus ones if not married.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:28

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

The important question isn't which flavor of cookie because all flavors are beautiful.

The question is: crispy or chewy.

The answer is chewy.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:28

ScienceSeagull: May 17, 2021; Figure 1 Smart birds.

hawowanlawow posted:

I would want to see the guest list and do my own cookie math, because 1000 cookies is a lot of fuckin cookies. maybe the DIL is just dogshit at conceptualizing how many cookies each guest will eat

She should get in touch with that guy who was asked to make Christmas cookies and invited the whole neighborhood to participate in some kind of massive experimental cookie assembly line.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:29

mystes: May 31, 2006

limp_cheese posted:

Oatmeal Raisan.

I don't normally like oatmeal raisin cookies that much but trader joes sometimes has these ones that also have shredded coconut that have a really great chewy texture that are fantastic. I also worked out a clone recipe so I can make them myself.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:29

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

mystes posted:

She seems to be saying that the daughter in law is moving too fast in trying to build a relationship with her and violating her boundaries, essentially. There isn't enough information in the post to determine if that is accurate or OP just refuses to build any sort of relationship with the DIL at all, so I think it doesn't make sense to condemn OP on that basis without more information.

That's how I read it, especially considering OP's daughters aren't fans either. Sounds like she's going way overboard trying to "replace" her old family & making people uncomfortable whether she realizes it or not. I feel bad for her but at some point you gotta read the room & back off a little.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:30

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

Mordiceius posted:

The important question isn't which flavor of cookie because all flavors are beautiful.

The question is: crispy or chewy.

The answer is chewy.

Chewy with crispy edges that have caramelized just a bit.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:30

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

My (26m) Girlfriend (22f) thinks I�m �stringing her along� because I haven�t proposed in a short time. What can I do ?

quote:

My girlfriend is 22 and I�m 26. We�ve been together now for two years since last week. We�ve been living together for a little under a year. We have very little arguments and disagreements. But when we do, they�re resolved without getting nasty, or rude. I love that about her. We both want to have children in the future, and marriage has been something we�ve both always wanted. She�s just a little bit more rigid with it than me. And doesn�t understand what future talk is.

Since we�ve moved in together, my feelings for that have only grown. Over the past few months or so, we�ve talked in even more detail about our future. What our wedding theme is going to be, music, food. I�ve told her how she�s going to be a great mother one day, how I want my future daughter to look like her. She�s had �baby fever� and I guess I kind of fueled that. I said that I was thinking about �coming home to a little one� and how it would be nice. I guess she took that as right now I want that

I�ve made hints about proposing and stuff. She was wearing a cool ring one day, and I said to her �is that the kind of shape you like� and hinted towards it being for an engagement ring. I just asked her so I could have an idea on what to save up. Not because I was going to propose then.

This is where the disconnect came from.

We were talking about maybe getting a bigger place together, maybe a 3 bedroom. So when I brought it up again to her, she told me that �I can afford the place we are in alone if things were to happen. I�m not going to get into a financial commitment in a bigger place unless there�s a commitment from you�

I was taken aback by that and without thinking, I said �So you won�t move unless we�re engaged? I don�t want to feel like I�m forced to do it�

She looked at me confused. She asked me why I said it like that. Then she explained how she thought I was going to propose on our second year anniversary trip. I told her that two years is way too soon to propose, and I think she�s being unreasonable for expecting that in this point in our relationship. Maybe if we were together 5+ years.

I explained how I have no timeline, I just want a future with her and everything I said. But she won�t stop with the timeline stuff. Now she thinks I�m not serious and is upset by my reaction. I was just taken aback and didn�t word it correctly.
She said I�m stringing her along at this point because I told her I wanted to marry her for a long time, and haven�t proposed or I�m not in the process of it. I am saving up though. And I�ve hinted at that.

When I said I wanted a 3-bedroom, I meant one bedroom for us, one bedroom for my mom, and one to be converted into an art room for my friend.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:31

mystes: May 31, 2006

I am generally not a fan of crispy cookies if they're normal cookies, like chocolate chip or something, but florentine cookies can be good

# ? May 1, 2024 19:31

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

mystes posted:

I don't normally like oatmeal raisin cookies that much but trader joes sometimes has these ones that also have shredded coconut that have a really great chewy texture that are fantastic. I also worked out a clone recipe so I can make them myself.

I don't believe you!

Post the recipe. For proof.

Those sound so good

# ? May 1, 2024 19:31

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 19:11

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Mordiceius posted:

The question is: crispy or chewy.

The answer is chewy.

mystes posted:

I don't normally like oatmeal raisin cookies that much but trader joes sometimes has these ones that also have shredded coconut that have a really great chewy texture that are fantastic. I also worked out a clone recipe so I can make them myself.

Whole Foods has some good oatmeal raisin. Having some coconut in them sounds incredible though and I'll have to see if the Trader Joes near me has them.

# ? May 1, 2024 19:33

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