r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

mystes: May 31, 2006

My Spirit Otter posted:

ive lived in alberta and never, ever heard anyone refer to a fleece blanket as a stripper blanket

If it's not a real thing then it seems pretty clear to me that OP is the rear end in a top hat (probably even if it is a real thing)

# ? May 3, 2024 20:02

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 01:55

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Anyway, content:

AITA for not going to another restaurant after my boyfriend refused to order from where I stopped?

Huh wtf guy, why don't you wanna eat Mexican food-

That dude's guts must be absolutely wrecked, good lord

# ? May 3, 2024 20:46

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; Can't post for 23 days!

Tobermory posted:

AITA for asking my Canadian brother's American wife where she got the stripper blanket?

I didn't know Iron Crowned was Canadian

# ? May 3, 2024 20:52

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

I was perusing boru and found a heartwarming one. Not sure if the first one got posted but I'm positive the update hasn't.

I (15m) think my dad (38m) has a boyfriend, how do I support him

quote:

My mom died of covid in summer 2020 and it really messed my dad up. He was still working and taking care of me, but that was pretty much it, he wasn�t doing anything he used to like to do. And obviously he was busier because he had to take care of me all by himself, and he couldn�t go out because of covid, but still. Like, he used to like hockey and weird old action movies, but he stopped watching all that stuff.

I was also super depressed, obviously, but after a while, I started doing stuff for fun again, like video games and hanging out with my friends and stuff, but he didn�t. And when I was a kid, I didn�t really think about it, but now that I�m older, I was worrying about him.

He started doing more stuff and being less sad all the time last summer, then in October he started doing this community service thing that picks up trash in different neighborhoods, and then he met this guy Peter (fake name, I think he�s 40ish?), and I think they�re dating. They hang out at least twice a week, sometimes more, I stay at school until 8 three times a week for robotics club and my dad sees Peter at least one of those days every week. My dad used to talk about him all the time, he was always all �Peter said� or �I was talking to Peter�, and he doesn�t talk about him that much any more, but they text alot and my dad is always smiling at his phone, and he started dressing nicer and getting his haircut more often and stuff. And there's other stuff too, I just get a vibe from them.

So I was like 90% sure they were dating, but thought maybe me dad was just excited to have a friend again, he was probably lonely I guess, but now it�s Ramadan, and Peter, who isn�t even Muslim, has stopped by a few times before sunrise to bring my dad food for suhoor, and friends don�t cook for each other at stupid o�clock in the morning, they must be dating. I guess I technically still don�t know they�re dating, but like they�re definitely dating lol.

So now I want to know how to get him to feel ok telling me. My dad never said he was bi, idk if he just didn�t tell people or if Peter is the first guy he�s liked (he and my mom got together when he was 19, so he didn�t have a ton of time to date guys before now), and I know he�s ok with LGBT people, if I were gay I wouldn�t be afraid of telling him at all, but he was a teenager in the early 2000s when things were different, so maybe he�s ashamed?

There are some gay people at our mosque and it�s cool, but I know some Muslims don�t like gay people, idk what the mosque he went to as a kid was like. So maybe it�s like he doesn�t think it�s ok for him to be bi, just other people? Idk.

And I also feel kinda weird about it, which isn�t cool of me, I know, but idk. He took his wedding ring off a few months ago, which is part of why I started thinking he and Peter were dating, and I know my mom�s dead and my dad�s not actually that old, so it�s not fair to think he can�t ever date anyone else or get married again, and I want him to be happy and stuff, but it�s also like, he�s supposed to be married to my mom, you know?

Peter�s ok but he�s not my mom. And ngl it�s kinda weird that he�s dating a man who isn�t Muslim, I�m barely Muslim now, I pray with my dad but I don�t think I really believe anymore and I�m not really fasting, but being Muslim is important to my dad, what if dating someone who isn�t Muslim makes him stop being Muslim too. But also ti might be weird if he dated a Muslim woman because then it�d be like a replacement for my mom? Idk. I feel weird.

So how do I support my dad and make him feel like it�s ok to come out? And how do I deal with my own poo poo and not make him feel bad?

quote:

This actually happened like two weeks ago, but I don't need advice I don't think so I didn't post anything, but then I remembered some of you seemed kinda invested in my dad's love life lol so here we go

I was thinking a lot about everything with my dad and how to talk to him and how to deal with the way I feel about everything without making my dad feel bad or like I'm the main character and he has to do what I want or anything, and I guess I was acting weird, because my dad asked me if I was ok. And I said that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring anymore. So he asked me if that upset me and I said kinda. Because it wasn't like he just took it off when my mom died and he wasn't married anymore, he kept wearing it then, but then he took it off now, so he feels different now I guess and I was afraid he didn't care anymore. Because I don't want him to be sad all the time anymore but I do kinda want him to still be a little sad maybe, which I know isn't cool of me but I'm still a little sad.

Then my dad got quiet for a while and then he apologized that he'd made me feel like he didn't care about my mom anymore and that he'd been handling things badly since she died. He said that he still loves my mom and everything but that he loved her different now, and he had been acting like it was the same which was why he was sad all the time, but then he accepted that even though he still loved her and she was still his wife, it was different, and he felt better but then looking at his wedding ring made him really upset. Idk he explained it really well but I think it sounds dumb the way I wrote it.

But it made sense when he said it, because like, she's still my mom and I still love her, but obviously she's not my mom the way she was when she was there all the time. Then he asked me if I wanted their wedding rings, he said he'd been holding on to my mom's for me when I got older and he figured I was old enough now to be responsible with it and not lose it. So we got a chain for me to put them on and I wear both their wedding rings around my neck now.

Anyway since we were talking about it I wanted to say something about how my dad is dating Peter I know some of you said that maybe they were just friends but if you were in my house and you saw the way my dad talks about him you would not think that, I haven't spent a lot of time with Peter or anything but I have been around him and my dad together and they are not just friends lol. So I told my dad that I wouldn't be mad or upset if he dated someone else, it would be ok, he shouldn't be alone forever, and he said it meant a lot that I said that.

Then I said that Peter seems pretty cool and my dad got all awkward, not in a "you are so wrong" way in a "I'm embarrassed to talk about my boyfriend" way and it was funny for a bit but then I felt kinda bad lol so I said Peter's old man sweaters aren't cool but that at least they're better than my dad's dumb polo shirts, which I said mostly to change the vibe but also because it's true, and my dad called me a brat, then hugged me and said I was a good kid and we moved on.

So we didn't really talk about it I guess but I know they're dating and he knows I know they're dating and I'm cool with it, and I still feel a little weird about my dad dating someone who isn't my mom but I feel better about it. Not sure if anyone is reading this, but if you are, I hope you liked it lol

# ? May 3, 2024 20:54

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I think it is possible and probable that the blanket the husband got his wife was just a big blanket he found in a store or gas station he thought she would like, and the OP can only conceive of it as a "stripper blanket" because he is terminally stripper brained.

# ? May 3, 2024 20:55

tak: Jan 31, 2003; lol demowned; Grimey Drawer

major "that gamergate weirdo who was always namedropping his favorite stripper in every video" energy there for sure

# ? May 3, 2024 21:09

Pantaloon Pontiff: Jun 25, 2023

LOL at being so stuck on strip clubs that you think a common, mass-produced blanket that's sold all over the place is a 'stripper blanket' because some strippers use them in one location. I also think the husband just got a common blanket that wasn't ever used by a stripper to soak up "snail trails," calling them stripper blankets is about as sensible as calling the baggy sweats a bunch of my stripper friends would wear to and from work a 'stripper outfit'.

I have seen the 'dad is dating Peter' story before and it's a great one to see again.

# ? May 3, 2024 21:16

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

Kurieg posted:

I was perusing boru and found a heartwarming one. Not sure if the first one got posted but I'm positive the update hasn't.

I (15m) think my dad (38m) has a boyfriend, how do I support him

Aww. More poo poo like this, please.

# ? May 3, 2024 21:20

Pie Colony: Dec 8, 2006; I AM SUCH A FUCKUP THAT I CAN'T EVEN POST IN AN E/N THREAD I STARTED

BOOTY-ADE posted:

That dude's guts must be absolutely wrecked, good lord

Recently I found out there are over 100 million people that eat mexican food every day, not sure how they're even still alive at this point

# ? May 3, 2024 21:21

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

It's just food. What sort of gringo-rear end digestive systems do y'all have?

# ? May 3, 2024 21:26

Ogma: Jun 6, 2003; Let the festivities commence!

Bruceski posted:

It's just food. What sort of gringo-rear end digestive systems do y'all have?

My digestive system is fine, as long as y'all don't serve me the spicy mayo (Hellman's).

# ? May 3, 2024 21:35

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

I am seriously baffled by people having GI problems from Mexican food

# ? May 3, 2024 21:35

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

remember that taco bell does not count as mexican food

# ? May 3, 2024 21:37

Albino Broccoli: Aug 5, 2022

Just keep eating it you'll eventually build up a tolerance for it or you'll die of dehydration either way don't let that spicy food win

# ? May 3, 2024 21:38

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

I am seriously baffled by people having GI problems from Mexican food

They are 1) lying, 2) racist

# ? May 3, 2024 21:39

Pantaloon Pontiff: Jun 25, 2023

OK, I found out what stripper games he's talking about and why he associates the blankets with them - in Alberta strip clubs they do a thing where strippers sit on blankets while patrons throw coins at their crotch. This doesn't really change the weirdness of calling the blanket a 'stripper blanket', but does at least explain what he's talking about.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn9kdq/the-messed-up-story-behind-albertas-sad-tradition-of-throwing-loonies-at-strippers

# ? May 3, 2024 21:39

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

haveblue posted:

remember that taco bell does not count as ~~mexican~~ food

# ? May 3, 2024 21:40

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Pantaloon Pontiff posted:

OK, I found out what stripper games he's talking about and why he associates the blankets with them - in Alberta strip clubs they do a thing where strippers sit on blankets while patrons throw coins at their crotch. This doesn't really change the weirdness of calling the blanket a 'stripper blanket', but does at least explain what he's talking about.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn9kdq/the-messed-up-story-behind-albertas-sad-tradition-of-throwing-loonies-at-strippers

Imagine getting wanged on the clit with the loving edge of a Loonie 'cause of some stupid rear end tradition.

# ? May 3, 2024 21:44

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

r/relationships: Imagine getting wanged on the clit with the loving edge of a Loonie

Also: Imagine four loonies at the edge of a clit...

# ? May 3, 2024 21:45

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

I am seriously baffled by people having GI problems from Mexican food

Crohn�s Disease: 0/10, do not recommend

# ? May 3, 2024 21:45

mystes: May 31, 2006

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

I am seriously baffled by people having GI problems from Mexican food

If you literally never eat spicy food and then you eat some spicy food I think it is possible for it to upset your digestive system

# ? May 3, 2024 21:53

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; Can't post for 23 days!

Pantaloon Pontiff posted:

OK, I found out what stripper games he's talking about and why he associates the blankets with them - in Alberta strip clubs they do a thing where strippers sit on blankets while patrons throw coins at their crotch. This doesn't really change the weirdness of calling the blanket a 'stripper blanket', but does at least explain what he's talking about.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn9kdq/the-messed-up-story-behind-albertas-sad-tradition-of-throwing-loonies-at-strippers

I heard about this from a bouncer in BC, and though they were joking.

But I didn't know how disgusting this poo poo really was. gently caress you Alberta :suicide:

Modal Auxiliary posted:

Also: Imagine four loonies at the edge of a clit...

lmao

# ? May 3, 2024 21:57

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

A shocking number of Americans get effectively zero fiber in their diet, so the beans hit hard.

# ? May 3, 2024 21:59

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

Pantaloon Pontiff posted:

OK, I found out what stripper games he's talking about and why he associates the blankets with them - in Alberta strip clubs they do a thing where strippers sit on blankets while patrons throw coins at their crotch. This doesn't really change the weirdness of calling the blanket a 'stripper blanket', but does at least explain what he's talking about.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn9kdq/the-messed-up-story-behind-albertas-sad-tradition-of-throwing-loonies-at-strippers

manitoba does this as well, its weird

Batterypowered7 posted:

Imagine getting wanged on the clit with the loving edge of a Loonie 'cause of some stupid rear end tradition.

sometimes an rear end in a top hat will heat up their change with a lighter first.

# ? May 3, 2024 22:00

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

i used to go to strip clubs in oregon and never saw "stripper blankets"

sounds like alberta's just hosed up

# ? May 3, 2024 22:08

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Mordiceius posted:

When the title definitely tells you everything you need to know about the post:

AITA for telling my husband I won't live with his mom?
We had a baby in July 2023.
[some time after January 2024, so 6-9 mon]
she would often lay him down on the bed. This caused my baby to have a bald spot in the back of his head

Is this a huge problem? I thought bald spots like that were typical from sleeping on the back anyways. Would laying him down on his stomach sometimes be enough to help progression at that stage of development?

# ? May 3, 2024 22:11

CoffeeBoofer: Dec 10, 2023; by Pragmatica

I'm the stripper snail trail in the OP

# ? May 3, 2024 22:31

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Stripper Snail Trial sounds like someone from FYAD that got banned 10 years ago

# ? May 3, 2024 22:38

mystes: May 31, 2006

Stripper snail sounds like a pretty offensive way to describe slugs

# ? May 3, 2024 22:40

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

Am I the rear end in a top hat for choosing to keep the kittens over my boyfriend

What? Of course not, never give in to a "me or your pet" ultimatum.

Oh, wait ... what's this now?

quote:

32 F and BF 33M, I recently went to the shelter and adopted 4 kittens. I was only able to bring one home but the other 3 which are all sisters could not come home with me just yet. I had to go back for them because they weren't ready. When I came home with the first cat my bf said in a low tone "no, I'm allergic. I don't like cats" I told him "you never told me you were allergic! I've been with you for 3 years. I've told you for over a year that I want a cat and I will get one sooner rather than later. In all those conversations you never mentioned this." He said he sneezes. But nothing happened when the first cat was home. No sneezing, no allergies, no rash, nothing. So I left the first and later came home with the other 3 cats. He blew up when I came home. He said I had to return the other 3. I told him no. I saved them and I will not return them. He yelled and said I had to choose. Either him or the cats I rescued. The cats have been playing all over the couch and rugs and his clothes. Nothing happened to him. I mentioned all this to him and he says the allergies will show up. He sleep on the couch where the cats were and the clothes. The next day nothing still happened. He still fought and said I had to chose. I told he just doesn't like cats. There's no symptoms. He told me the wedding is off if I chose the kittens. So I took off my ring and gave it to him. Left it in the table. He started to pack and grab his stuff. I asked if he wanted his clothes as well. He said yes. So I pulled all his clothes and left them on the rug next to him. Where the cats had been playing. He left. And called later to ask again if I would get rid of the kittens. I said no. Again no symptoms showing. So now I'm crying because I really did love him but I don't want the kittens to be separated and not have a safe home. I feel as though he's being childish. I apologize for not speaking with him first. I told him I wanted it to be a surprise and I've been talking about adopting for over a year and he never said anything. Never disputed and never mentioned allergies. It hurts but these kittens are helpless. They need a good home. Am I the rear end in a top hat for not agreeing to his ultimatum.

UPDATE:
I had several conversations with him for over a year. Last month I told him I was serious about it. That I would adopt or even buy a cat. If they have another i can get I will because I didn't want them to be lonely. This was my place where he brought some clothes over until we moved into the new place together. I always mentioned having cats. Because I had them when I was little. He always shrugged and said yea. He knows I've always wanted a cat but couldn't a few years back because my sister was highly allergic and her symptoms include swollen eyes and rashes. I gave him so many opportunities to tell me how he felt or his allergies. I even told him last week I'm ready to adopt. I really want to have kittens. I've mentioned how the father of my daughters has a cat that i am obsessed with because she is so sweet and cuddles all the time. I've said her names so many times, and when I brought up this conversation recently, he said "who?". He never cared to listen to me. I know what true allergies are. He just doesn't like cats. But if he would give them a chance he would see their very sweet and independent. He even joked with me one time that they would gang up on my small dog. And I told him no because my dog has been with cats before and knows how to behave with them. Also I didn't purposely put his clothes where the cats where. My fault for not explaining further. I put his clothes right next to him because I had to take them off the hanger. The cats were out and playing around the entire house. Jumping and running around. They walked on his clothes because they were out already when we were arguing. He just chuckled and ignored them. He has a very nonchalant personality so I just assumed he was being himself when ever we had these conversations. Now I am realizing he just never believed me or he didnt care. Nothing happened to him when he grabbed his closed and push the kittens out the way. He bagged his clothes and left. He gave me an ultimatum without evening trying to talk about it. Now that I am bringing up all these conversations we've had and all the previous times I told him I was going to adopt, now he's trying to change his tune. He even admited to disliking acts more than it being about allergies. I told him why didnt he ever mentioned this in all the times that I spoke about the cats and my sister's allergies. He says I thought I did. I tell him no, if he would have said anything about the cats or allergies or dislikes I would have tried to work with him and see if we can try to do 1 cat at a time and see if his opinions change about them. I LOVE cats. There so smart and independent. He knows this. But he's saying I'm being selfish and prideful. But I'm not. I just don't want the kittens to be separated and I already love them. And I've spoken about this for sooooooo long. I don't understand how I'm the bad guy now.

"But I told him I was eventually going to get a cat, or maybe even two if they're bonded!" Randomly brings home 4 kittens with no immediate discussion or forewarning

# ? May 3, 2024 22:50

mystes: May 31, 2006

Troublemaker posted:

Am I the rear end in a top hat for choosing to keep the kittens over my boyfriend

What? Of course not, never give in to a "me or your pet" ultimatum.

Oh, wait ... what's this now?

"But I told him I was eventually going to get a cat, or maybe even two if they're bonded!" Randomly brings home 4 kittens with no immediate discussion or forewarning

Yeah no don't randomly bring home animals without telling your partner who you're living with

# ? May 3, 2024 22:55

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Troublemaker posted:

Am I the rear end in a top hat for choosing to keep the kittens over my boyfriend

What? Of course not, never give in to a "me or your pet" ultimatum.

Oh, wait ... what's this now?

"But I told him I was eventually going to get a cat, or maybe even two if they're bonded!" Randomly brings home 4 kittens with no immediate discussion or forewarning

ESH, also don't just... have no input on your GF talking about how she is going to get cats for a year and then last minute say you have allergies and cats are a no.

# ? May 3, 2024 22:56

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

She's clearly set on steamrolling anything he has to say on this, so enjoy the four cats I guess.

# ? May 3, 2024 23:02

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

house of the dad posted:

She's clearly set on steamrolling anything he has to say on this, so enjoy the four cats I guess.

Oh yeah, she's clearly a giant rear end in a top hat about it. He should leave. But just not talking about it as a problem kinda sucks too. When your GF starts talking about wanting a cat, that's when you say "I'm allergic" or "I do not want a cat at all."

I love how she thinks "working with him" is getting a cat and hoping he decided he liked it. That doesn't feel like compromise...

# ? May 3, 2024 23:06

deoju: Jul 11, 2004; All the pieces matter.; Nap Ghost

Sounds like those strippers need to unionize. :hai:

# ? May 3, 2024 23:15

Qylvaran: Mar 28, 2010

mystes posted:

Stripper snail sounds like a pretty offensive way to describe slugs

My wife had never seen a slug before coming to the US. She was excited to tell her friends about the "naked snail" she found. That's what we call them now, among ourselves.

# ? May 3, 2024 23:29

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

deoju posted:

Sounds like those strippers need to unionize. j

Make the club cover the massive blanket costs.

# ? May 3, 2024 23:31

S40CheckingAccount: Jan 14, 2024

Like, she can be an rear end in a top hat for getting four with no warning, but she only brought home the one at first. He didn't go weird for four, he weirded out for one.

# ? May 3, 2024 23:33

PizzaProwler: Nov 4, 2009; Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.

AITA for telling my dad and his wife I don't know what her daughter is into?

quote:

My dad got married 3 years ago to Josie. My sisters (15f and 13f) and I live with full time because our mom died. I (17m) kind of stepped up because dad was never the most involved parent and after mom died he still wasn't great with parenting stuff. He got married again 4 years after mom died. Josie and her daughter (15f) moved in with us.

So Josie is basically the same as dad. Not that involved. Actually, she seems less involved than my dad. But what I didn't know is she expected me to take on her daughter as a sister and be there for her like I am my sisters which didn't happen. I don't hate her but I see Josie's daughter as someone I'm in a forced roommate situation with. Not family. I see Josie the same way.

I don't do stuff for Josie's daughter like I do my sisters. Sometimes I'll buy them something I know they'll like as a treat. Normally one at a time since I'm only working weekends.

My dad and Josie never checked on her daughter or that we'd all gotten close. Then Josie got a call from the school that her daughter was being bullied and going through a rough time. Josie decided to spoil her daughter and asked me what stuff her daughter liked/was into. I didn't know and I told her. She called dad in and she asked me again and I said I didn't know, I don't spend time with her daughter.

They brought up the stuff I do for my sisters and I said yeah, I do them for my sisters, not the random girl who lives with us. I said I don't do stuff for either of them, meaning dad or Josie, either. Josie freaked out and said I was supposed to treat them all the same and she asked me why I hadn't taken her daughter on as my sister. I said because I already had two and didn't need to worry about anyone else. I said they were the adults and they didn't make a family, they just thought they could get me to basically adopt Josie's daughter.

Josie called me names, dad was like why wouldn't you embrace the girl, we really thought you'd do everything to make sure she felt wanted. I told them it wasn't my job.

Josie still doesn't know what her daughter likes and I'm getting glared at every day now.

AITA?

So her plan for the last three years was to outsource parenting to her teenage stepson? As sad as this is, it's kinda funny just how moronic the dad and Josie are being here.

# ? May 3, 2024 23:34

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 01:55

Sanford: Jun 30, 2007; ...and rarely post!

Qylvaran posted:

My wife had never seen a slug before coming to the US. She was excited to tell her friends about the "naked snail" she found. That's what we call them now, among ourselves.

Is she from Antarctica? Where else has no slugs?

# ? May 3, 2024 23:37

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