r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

Midnight Voyager posted:

Oh yeah, she's clearly a giant rear end in a top hat about it. He should leave. But just not talking about it as a problem kinda sucks too. When your GF starts talking about wanting a cat, that's when you say "I'm allergic" or "I do not want a cat at all."

I love how she thinks "working with him" is getting a cat and hoping he decided he liked it. That doesn't feel like compromise...

Oh, I totally agree. It sounds like he went full avoidant and was hoping she'd eventually drop it so he'd get his way, which is also a lovely way of handling things when your partner makes it clear something's important to them. I do have to question her recollection of things when she starts positioning everything like she's being completely reasonable and he's the problem, because she decided she had to adopt four cats at once because they're all brothers and sisters.

# ? May 3, 2024 23:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 04:30

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; Can't post for 22 days!

Troublemaker posted:

Am I the rear end in a top hat for choosing to keep the kittens over my boyfriend

What? Of course not, never give in to a "me or your pet" ultimatum.

Oh, wait ... what's this now?

"But I told him I was eventually going to get a cat, or maybe even two if they're bonded!" Randomly brings home 4 kittens with no immediate discussion or forewarning

"Look, I didn't say anything before, because I was confused when you kept saying how much you love pussies and you were bringing some home".

# ? May 3, 2024 23:44

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

AITAH for refusing to consider stopping our divorce after my ex admitted her "psychic" friend lied about me having an affair?

quote:

I met my wife, Rhona, when we were in college together. I made the obviously terrible assumption that the fact she was in post secondary education meant she had a modicum of common sense. We started dating our senior year and after job hunting settled on moving back to her home town after graduating.

We found an apartment and lived together for two years before getting married. All good so far.

At our wedding I met an old friend of hers. Anna. She offered to read my palm since she was part g****. Weird. I am in construction and I know a few people from that group and they call themselves Roma.

Whatever.

Anna only comes to town every once in a while. She lives in NYC so she doesn't have time to visit since she has an exciting life there. She makes costumes for plays and cosplayers. So we see her maybe four times over the next two years.

Last time she came was Labor Day last year. And that's when it got weird. All of a sudden Rhona starts acting oddly. She starts checking in on me at work. Coming by when I'm working late. Asking to use my phone because hers is almost out of power. That sort of thing.

She finally comes out and accuses me of having an affair. I thought she was joking so I laugh and say that I am not. This sets her off like a Roman candle. Because Anna told her I would laugh it off when Rhona came for the truth.

I laughed because it was ridiculous. I barely had time for a relationship with my wife and my job. I am home all weekend long. When I go golfing her brother is almost always either in my foursome or at the club.

And most important of all I love my wife. I wouldn't do anything to harm her. And yet she takes the word of Anna the psychic seamstress over mine.

She asks me to leave our apartment. I say no because I have nowhere else to go. So she leaves and moves back with her parents. They think she is nuts too.

I spent the next few months working and trying to convince her that I'm not cheating and that I want her to come home.

I don't get invited to Thanksgiving because it would be "awkward". I didn't even stick around for Christmas. I went home to see my family.

They have been following all this stupidity without commenting until then. At Christmas they had an intervention. They said my wife was having a break from reality and that she wasn't coming out of it. My dad told me to give my head a shake which he only does when I am being monumentally stupid.

When I got back I went to a lawyer and started my divorce. That was in January. Finally at the beginning of April Rhona calls me to talk. I say that we should talk through lawyers. She starts to cry and I agree to meet her in public if she will allow me to record our conversation so I can give a copy to my lawyer. She eventually agreed.

Turns out her and her parents hired a private detective to find my affair. Six months and a huge bill later zero evidence of an affair.

She finally believes me and wants to come home. I tell her that our lease is up in July and I already found a job in Denver near my family. She says she would come with me. I respectfully declined. I told her we just weren't right for each other. The truth is I do not want to have my offspring share DNA with this dingbat.

Anyway, I am moving ahead with my divorce. I am gutted that she took her friend's psychic vibrator over mine.

Her family has approached me several times. The last time her dad offered to front us a 25% down payment on a house if I agree to go to marriage counseling instead of just leaving. I politely declined. I cannot be bought.

Rhona is now depressed but I see no way of ever trusting her again. She is young enough she can marry again and wreck some other guy's life.

AITAH?

EDIT

I meant to write psychic vibrations not psychic vibrator. but I like the idea better the way I accidentally wrote it. so it stands.

DrBouvenstein fucked around with this message at 04:37 on May 4, 2024

# ? May 3, 2024 23:57

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

Sanford posted:

Is she from Antarctica? Where else has no slugs?

I have never seen a slug in Arizona

# ? May 4, 2024 00:07

torgo: Aug 13, 2003; Fun Shoe

Yeah, it's a typo, but r/relationships: she took her friend's psychic vibrator over mine

# ? May 4, 2024 00:07

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

torgo posted:

Yeah, it's a typo, but r/relationships: she took her friend's psychic vibrator over mine

The Fresh New Title Curse strikes again!

# ? May 4, 2024 00:11

Rockman Reserve: Oct 2, 2007; "Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

my favorite part is that her parents were all in on her insanity too :allears:

so really at least he�s not leaving her without a support network

# ? May 4, 2024 00:12

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Rockman Reserve posted:

my favorite part is that her parents were all in on her insanity too so really at least he�s not leaving her without a support network

The best part is that they�re not in on her insanity, and hired a PI to show her she�s being nuts

quote:

So she leaves and moves back with her parents. They think she is nuts too.

# ? May 4, 2024 00:14

Qylvaran: Mar 28, 2010

Sanford posted:

Is she from Antarctica? Where else has no slugs?

She's from China? She had never encountered (or heard of) them before, but that may have been down to living in dry climates growing up and then moving to Seattle.

# ? May 4, 2024 00:14

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Rockman Reserve posted:

my favorite part is that her parents were all in on her insanity too so really at least he’s not leaving her without a support network

Well the theories floated in the reddit thread is that they AREN'T in on her insanity, and perhaps hired a PI to prove her wrong so she'd move out/get back with who they thought would be a great son-in-law.

I'm curious WHY the "psychic" friend told the lie in the first place. I assume most people who claim to be psychic know they're full of poo poo and love BSing people for attention and drama; so my theory is when she read OPs palm, she picked up that he didn't care about it/knew it was BS, so she decided to get some revenge.

DrBouvenstein fucked around with this message at 00:17 on May 4, 2024

# ? May 4, 2024 00:15

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

DrBouvenstein posted:

Well the theories floated in the reddit thread is that they AREN'T in on her insanity, and perhaps hired a PI to prove her wrong so she'd move out/get back with who they thought would be a great son-in-law.

I'm curious WHY the "psychic" friend told the lie in the first place. I assume most people who claim to be psychic know they're full of poo poo and love BSing people for attention and drama; so my theory is when she read OPs palm, she picked up that he didn't care about it/knew it was BS, so she decided to get some revenge.

psychics and other con artists understand that once they�ve found a mark, the next step is to separate that person from their support network

# ? May 4, 2024 00:22

Engineer Lenk: Aug 28, 2003; Mnogo losho e!

Qylvaran posted:

My wife had never seen a slug before coming to the US. She was excited to tell her friends about the "naked snail" she found. That's what we call them now, among ourselves.

Multiple languages would literally translate their word for slug as naked snail (German, Dutch, Hungarian, Greek, and a variant in a lot of Slavic languages).

# ? May 4, 2024 00:25

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Engineer Lenk posted:

Multiple languages would literally translate their word for slug as naked snail (German, Dutch, Hungarian, Greek, and a variant in a lot of Slavic languages).

Isn't the German word for tortoise something like "shield toad"?

# ? May 4, 2024 00:33

Qylvaran: Mar 28, 2010

Engineer Lenk posted:

Multiple languages would literally translate their word for slug as naked snail (German, Dutch, Hungarian, Greek, and a variant in a lot of Slavic languages).

She came up with it on her own, and jokingly associated it with CCP propaganda about the moral turpitude of the West. Even the snails here are indecent!

# ? May 4, 2024 00:34

mystes: May 31, 2006

PizzaProwler posted:

AITA for telling my dad and his wife I don't know what her daughter is into?

So her plan for the last three years was to outsource parenting to her teenage stepson? As sad as this is, it's kinda funny just how moronic the dad and Josie are being here.

NTA because OP is a minor and shouldn't have been put in this position in the first place, but holy poo poo does that suck for the step sister if her mother is so checked out she knows nothing about her and just assumed OP was taking care of her too for years until the school was saying she was bullied.

Just an immensely hosed up situation even if the parents are at least taking care of them in the most minimal sense by providing food and shelter.

It is kind of incredible that the parents failed to force OP to take care of his step sister because they're so checked out they didn't even realize that they hadn't told him.

mystes fucked around with this message at 00:44 on May 4, 2024

# ? May 4, 2024 00:42

SpaceViking: Sep 2, 2011; Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

mom and dad fight a lot posted:

I heard about this from a bouncer in BC, and though they were joking.

But I didn't know how disgusting this poo poo really was. gently caress you Alberta

lmao

I found out about this from Ducks, which was a thoroughly depressing novel.

# ? May 4, 2024 00:44

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

DrBouvenstein posted:

I'm curious WHY the "psychic" friend told the lie in the first place. I assume most people who claim to be psychic know they're full of poo poo and love BSing people for attention and drama; so my theory is when she read OPs palm, she picked up that he didn't care about it/knew it was BS, so she decided to get some revenge.

I can't speak to this friend but I used to think I was amazing at reading people. The supernatural "she moved her ring finger when she said that which means blah blah blah" hoo-hah. Took me a while to realize what I was actually good at was making up stories to fit whatever I noticed, and the relation to reality was completely untethered.

# ? May 4, 2024 00:59

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

when i was in high school i told a girl i could see auras and told her the guy she had a crush on had a "black, evil aura" so she wouldn't be attracted to him and would date me instead

it did not work, she actually thought that made him cool and mysterious

# ? May 4, 2024 01:15

Enemabag Jones: Mar 24, 2015

I had a boss who was an older Romanian lady with a thick accent. When we'd go out to eat she'd offer to read the fortune of the newest person using their tea or coffee remains, make a big show out of the meanings of different patterns, get them involved in her detailed reading, then go "I'm making this up lol" and laugh at the new guy

# ? May 4, 2024 01:20

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Enemabag Jones posted:

I had a boss who was an older Romanian lady with a thick accent. When we'd go out to eat she'd offer to read the fortune of the newest person using their tea or coffee remains, make a big show out of the meanings of different patterns, get them involved in her detailed reading, then go "I'm making this up lol" and laugh at the new guy

Lmao

# ? May 4, 2024 01:31

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Enemabag Jones posted:

I had a boss who was an older Romanian lady with a thick accent. When we'd go out to eat she'd offer to read the fortune of the newest person using their tea or coffee remains, make a big show out of the meanings of different patterns, get them involved in her detailed reading, then go "I'm making this up lol" and laugh at the new guy

owns

# ? May 4, 2024 01:34

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Enemabag Jones posted:

I had a boss who was an older Romanian lady with a thick accent. When we'd go out to eat she'd offer to read the fortune of the newest person using their tea or coffee remains, make a big show out of the meanings of different patterns, get them involved in her detailed reading, then go "I'm making this up lol" and laugh at the new guy

Kinda of a dick move to go "haha aren't you stupid for believing me" when I'm guessing no one was fooled by her "readings", they were just humouring her because she's their new boss.

# ? May 4, 2024 01:40

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

when i was in high school i told a girl i could see auras and told her the guy she had a crush on had a "black, evil aura" so she wouldn't be attracted to him and would date me instead

it did not work, she actually thought that made him cool and mysterious

Lol owned

# ? May 4, 2024 01:44

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I know the person wasn�t a minor but it�s still predatory behavior.

"predatory" doesn't go anywhere near far enough to describe a 35 year old grown man bullying a visibly nervous and apprehensive 20 year old girl, into having sex with him for the first time, then presenting her with a bullshit, petty printed out list of her "mistakes.

"Abusive"? Yep. "hosed up"? yep.

She needs to get away. Coz apart from all the obvious arseholery and abuse, a bloke who is prepared to go "You, girl almost half my age whose virginity I recently took. Here's a list of how I expect, nay mandate you to gently caress me better. I have printed it out for you to study up for next time." is capable of insane horrors.

# ? May 4, 2024 01:54

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

^^^
Especially when one of his list items is "Don't tell me to stop if I'm hurting you because it ruins the mood for me."

# ? May 4, 2024 02:31

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Aita for buying a �cheap� wedding dress for my wedding

quote:

My sister got married 2 years ago in a big lavash wedding her husband is a doctor and she�s a forensic accountant so they can afford it. The wedding cost maybe 50000 euros. I hate weddings and I think they�re the most excruciatingly boring events to have to live through but I guess that it is part of life becoming an adult and your loved ones start getting married around you😂 I mean you can survive a boring night. But for me the more expensive the wedding is, the more boring it is, the more pretentious, tinier portions of food etc. yghh. My sister�s dress cost 6000 euros.

Last weekend I had dinner with her, her husband and my fianc� and I told them that I have ordered my wedding dress. She was surprised because I didn�t make any appointments etc. I told her that I wasn�t going for a bespoke dress but ordered one online. Cost 450 euros. She started saying that I thought I was acting special. I said what no? I am not having a big wedding. (We are having dinner for 20 people) her husband said that I was smart not to waste money like that and laughed. He then told my fianc� that I was a keeper. My sister started yelling at him WYM.

Now my sister and her husband are having issues and she said that he wouldn�t shut up about how I didn�t throw money on superficial stuff and to be like me. She is calling me an ah for acting superior by not acting like a bride should do (wedding in end of may and I have not done more than booking a private room in my fianc�s and my favorite restaurant (the one we had our first kiss) and ordered a dress. Her husband is doubling down on calling her superficial and she says it is all my fault

# ? May 4, 2024 03:10

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Hughlander posted:

Aita for buying a “cheap” wedding dress for my wedding

this is the kind of story I love

# ? May 4, 2024 03:11

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

DrBouvenstein posted:

AITAH for refusing to consider stopping our divorce after my ex admitted her "psychic" friend lied about me having an affair?

A little nitpicking but isn't there a slur for Romani people in that post

# ? May 4, 2024 03:13

mystes: May 31, 2006

ApplesandOranges posted:

A little nitpicking but isn't there a slur for Romani people in that post

I thought it was a slur and it seems widely considered to be one so it's probably best to avoid it, but recently, while I'm not sure it's true, I have also heard people say that there are actually some specific groups of Romani people who use that name and don't consider it a slur

# ? May 4, 2024 03:18

Haschel Cedricson: Jan 4, 2006; Brinkmanship

mystes posted:

I thought it was a slur and it seems widely considered to be one so it's probably best to avoid it, but recently, while I'm not sure it's true, I have also heard people say that there are actually some specific groups of Romani people who use that name and don't consider it a slur

Since he mentions that he works with Roma I think the point he's making is that the person is using the wrong term while claiming to be from that group in order to lend their fortunetelling more legitimacy.

# ? May 4, 2024 03:23

mystes: May 31, 2006

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Since he mentions that he works with Roma I think the point he's making is that the person is using the wrong term while claiming to be from that group in order to lend their fortunetelling more legitimacy.

I have no doubt that that's the point he is trying to make, but if it's true that there are some groups who actually use that name, you might not necessarily be able to jump from people using that name to assuming they aren't Romani just because other Romani people don't use it and consider it a slur so if someone describes themself that way, i don't know, it's not a can of worms I would want to open (not saying that this person is necessarily not lying about their ancestry and/or knowledge about it)

# ? May 4, 2024 03:30

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

ApplesandOranges posted:

A little nitpicking but isn't there a slur for Romani people in that post

The poster calls it out as something they don't think is correct. I can 100% tell that my one Roma friend would probably tear into me if I was dumb enough to call them that. Unfortunately most people, especially in the US, don't have exposure to that ethnic group and have never learned proper the name.

So yeah there's a slur and it might could be censored but he immediately flags it as bad, even if he did go on to repeat it.

I've met Roma people and I've met people who say they're the G word, and so far as I can tell the first is a legit ethnic group and the second is a buncha dumb assholes. Despite the reputation the Roma won't rob you blind. The white lady calling herself a G!@#$y you gotta watch your weed.

# ? May 4, 2024 03:32

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Hughlander posted:

Aita for buying a �cheap� wedding dress for my wedding

big lavash wedding

It�s what every girl dreams of.

# ? May 4, 2024 04:13

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Just to be safe I edited it out. Sorry, just kind of blindly copy and pasted and didn't notice it at first

# ? May 4, 2024 04:41

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITBF my coworker is faking a British accent!

quote:

Five years ago, my female coworker took a three-month trip to England for school. And guess what? She came back with a full-blown fake British accent. The kicker is she's still faking it today.

Its not even a good British accent its horrible, and it sounds exactly like a steriotypical American doing a British accent, she yells "ELLOO MATE" to everyone :''( but shes been doing it for 5 years! Everyone at my work eats it up and so do customers and I'm like are you people dumb have you never heard a English person talk before?

When people ask her about it she goes "I used to live in the UK."
She doesn't do it just at work either I've ran into her at a restaurant and she was being SO loud with it. Ive caught her slipping so many times too. I tried to talk to someone at work about it but everyone believes her lol so I've never brought it up again.

My best friend just moved home from the UK after living there for 4 years and she doesn't have the slightest british accent.
I want to say something to her sooooo bad but I don't know if its even worth it or if I'm just being mean.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

# ? May 4, 2024 06:21

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Horrible girlfriend makes the generous birthday gift of a series of red flags

AITAH for telling my girlfriend that my birthday was terrible because of her?

quote:

I am 32 years old and male. My girlfriend is 29.

Today it was my birthday. About a week ago, when my girlfriend approached me asking what I wanted, I said that I'd rather just kind of stay in, game, and maybe order some food. She seemed disappointed because she wanted to do more, but she knows (or at least is supposed to know) that I'm more of a homebody. The only time I really want to go out is if we're either (a) traveling, or (b) seeing a movie.

Well, this morning she woke me up at 9am and said she had something special planned for me. I immediately knew that no matter what it was, whether it be a movie or a day trip, that I wasn't really in the mood to go. But despite my earlier comment about wanting to stay home, she had obviously planned something, and so not going along for the ride would have upset her.

We got in her car, and she drove directly to the mall. I hate the mall. I hate the mall more with her because she just wants to go on these 8-hour window shopping marathons, where she keeps asking me questions about what she thinks would look good on her. I've voiced this to her before, but she didn't seem to understand or care. I just hoped for the off chance that maybe we were going to see a movie and leave.

That wasn't the case. She dragged me around the mall window shopping. The only break was lunch in the food court. Then back to window shopping.

Around dinner time I thought that she may have something more special planned. She drove me across town, and I assumed we may be going to Korean BBQ. But she parked in front of a sushi restaurant. She's supposed to know that I really dislike sushi. The only kind of roll I can really stomach is the egg nigiri. While eating she was obviously trying to force off this hyper-positivity about how great everything was, and I apparently couldn't react well enough for her. When the check came she made no inclination that she was going to take our her wallet, and so I just ended up paying the ball.

We got home and she asked how it was. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I told her it was a terrible birthday and that she should have just left me alone. She immediately began debating the point, and I may have been harsh, but I said she obviously doesn't give the first poo poo about my feelings and just wanted to do what she wanted. She began quietly crying until she called me an "unappreciative rear end in a top hat," went to the bedroom, and slammed the door. I heard her shriek several times.

I don't know what I was supposed to do. Should I have just shut up and pretended to enjoy it?

I do like OP's willingness to lay it all on the line at the end of the day.

# ? May 4, 2024 06:26

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Mx. posted:

AITBF my coworker is faking a British accent!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yzj1JgEnaRc

# ? May 4, 2024 06:33

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

She called him an unappreciative rear end in a top hat, but ... what was there for him to appreciate? What part of that day was supposed to be for him? Watching her shop, or watching her eat food he doesn't like? Did she even get him a gift?

# ? May 4, 2024 06:49

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

She, the protagonist of life, deigned to allow him in her presence for an entire day, frankly he should be weeping tears of joy for the experience

# ? May 4, 2024 06:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 04:30

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Troublemaker posted:

She called him an unappreciative rear end in a top hat, but ... what was there for him to appreciate? What part of that day was supposed to be for him? Watching her shop, or watching her eat food he doesn't like? Did she even get him a gift?

They were spending tiiime together! He's such an unappreciative rear end in a top hat!

This is definitely one of the "give the reasons you're still with this person" ones.

# ? May 4, 2024 06:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

«‹›279 »