PYF Legends: The Heart of Darkness is about a Rolex

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Legends: The Heart of Darkness is about a Rolex

«‹›446 »

(Thread IKs: Pablo Nergigante, skeleton warrior)

Ibram Gaunt: Jul 22, 2009

I like how the BYOB traveling thread is in TFR right now. IDK why but it makes me laugh.

# ? May 9, 2024 13:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 17:43

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

EasilyConfused posted:

Did you hear Ghost Leviathan eats cats???

Incorrect, I was raised by cats. I did eat an ant once, though.

# ? May 9, 2024 13:57

The Kins: Oct 2, 2004

NoiseAnnoys posted:

getting their anal receptacles ready for heavy cumbat

something something backshots something

# ? May 9, 2024 14:02

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

Feels Villeneuve posted:

One of my answers to the eternal dumbass question of ~~Why do you need a high powered semiautomatic weapon of war~~ is "ranged defense against some rear end in a top hat thinking it's a funny joke to deliberately launch fireworks onto my heavily-wooded land while my county is under a Red Flag burn ban"; that's Arson and Attempted Murder in these weather conditions, and you're goddamn right I'm breaking out the AR for that.

the same guy

reading that made me think of how the guy who drew the bad furry comic Jack had a school shooter storyline that was stopped by a good furry with a gun

e: holy moly the comic is still ongoing

# ? May 9, 2024 14:05

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

the comic ended with the school shooter going to hell. it was pretty f*cked up....

# ? May 9, 2024 14:07

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Feels Villeneuve posted:

the comic ended with the school shooter going to hell. it was pretty f*cked up....

please tell me the guns were okay?

# ? May 9, 2024 14:10

Bicyclops: Aug 27, 2004

Ibram Gaunt posted:

I like how the BYOB traveling thread is in TFR right now. IDK why but it makes me laugh.

That thing is still going? The time that I let them move it to the Imp Zone should have crashed it.

# ? May 9, 2024 14:12

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

The Saddest Rhino posted:

reading that made me think of how the guy who drew the bad furry comic Jack had a school shooter storyline that was stopped by a good furry with a gun

e: holy moly the comic is still ongoing

Does it look the same

# ? May 9, 2024 14:14

Dongicus: Jun 12, 2015

Ibram Gaunt posted:

I like how the BYOB traveling thread is in TFR right now. IDK why but it makes me laugh.

similar kind of people imo

# ? May 9, 2024 14:29

Ibram Gaunt: Jul 22, 2009

You do not want either group within 10 feet of a firearm or...a certain kind of public institution.

# ? May 9, 2024 14:30

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Ibram Gaunt posted:

You do not want either group within 10 feet of a firearm or...a certain kind of public institution.

Please don�t do this

# ? May 9, 2024 14:42

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

The Saddest Rhino posted:

reading that made me think of how the guy who drew the bad furry comic Jack had a school shooter storyline that was stopped by a good furry with a gun

e: holy moly the comic is still ongoing

Well that's genuinely unexpected for a number of reasons and I'm pretty sure we all dread to ask further

# ? May 9, 2024 14:42

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

Heath posted:

Does it look the same

Yes

# ? May 9, 2024 14:44

Cassian of Imola: Feb 9, 2011; Keeping her memory alive!

spookykid posted:

I snapped after being bullied a bunch in the 4th grade at a lovely christian private school and beat the poo poo out of my bully with the spine-end of a bible we were carrying to "chapel" class. 3lb of scritta paper makes an effective bludgeon.

Liquid Communism posted:

My senior class was the reason my high school stopped doing those 'Most Likely To...' votes for the yearbook after my angry goth self got voted 'most likely to be a member of the trenchcoat mafia'

Captain Log posted:

I always had a strong self-preservation instinct, so I never did anything insane like getting in pellet gun fights. Strangely, I would always be willing to hurt myself for a laugh. But that was a controlled thing, where I knew what I was getting into. But having some neighborhood dumbass unload on me with a .177 or slingshot? I would have strangled somebody for that poo poo. I was always the guy you absolutely did not prank.

Captain Log posted:

A well placed throat punch can turn you from a joke into a hero.

To this day, I keep it a secret that I was aiming for the noggin.

Proper Kerni ng posted:

I got bullied in junior high right up until one little rear end in a top hat stared me down and wouldn't let me off the school bus, and I stared back while running my tongue around the inside of my lower lip like a "thinkin' about it" nervous tic or something, because I knew he would do an exaggerated version of the same thing to mock me, and when he stuck out his chin and did exactly that I popped him under the jaw with a jab that was all speed and no power. It made a noise like a clapperboard on a movie set when his teeth clacked together; he looked confused for a moment before opening his mouth and saying "...Buh." and ten billion gallons of blood poured out all over everything because he'd bitten a hole all the way through his tongue.

A few weeks later a different little rear end in a top hat tried to force a "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" in front of a bunch of other kids, and when I wasn't interested and turned around to walk away he sucker-punched me in the side of the head from behind. I just stopped and looked over my shoulder at him and told him to leave me alone and walked off, which apparently was super impressive to the crowd that had gathered because they went all supahotfire.gif about it? I just wasn't impressed with any of it, I had a class to get to.

By high school I was extremely damaged in the head from alcohol/drugs/PTSD and my Official Nickname� was "Psycho", so bullying was no longer a problem. If I'd gone to school post-Columbine I would almost certainly have spent my 20s in some kind of facility.

Speaking of dumb idiot violence, not gonna lie-- I'd kill somebody over that. I have a lovely house and a lovely job and the newest vehicle I own is 15 years old; this land and my wife are pretty much all I have that really count for anything, and if some shitfuck burned this place down because of something as subhuman and sociopathic as a goddamn gender reveal party... that is very solidly on the list of things I'm okay going to prison for.

Captain Log posted:

I grew up around some brutal loving dogs, and shared my father's hatred of them until meeting some cool ones in my teens.

- When I was a toddler, some of my earliest memories are getting knocked down and bullied by a neighbor's Chow-Chow. Which made my father furious when he learned about it. My mother thought dealing with a dog like that would, "toughen me up."

- My piano teacher had two foaming at the mouth, psychotic golden retrievers that always tried to kill me. She would always come out and say, "Oh, they're more scared of you than you are of them!" without doing a loving thing.

- My neighborhood when I lived with my grandmother had a roaming pack of dogs that could attack people when they grouped up.

I've learned to hate the owner, not the dog. But funny enough? The worst I ever got hosed up by a dog was a Bassett hound. He ripped off both my knees while his owner did nothing, outside of yelling, "Bad Charlie! Bad!" (Charlie being the dog.)

Had it been outside, without the owner watching, I would having kicked that loving dog backwards.

Akion posted:

Well I just had a fun little mini heart attack moment. Went for a walk to the store for a Red Bull and passed by a house where a guy was on the porch with his kid playing. Dude goes inside, kid waves, I wave, keep walking.

About 15 seconds later I hear the door open, then I hear a muffled dog bark and look back to a Great Dane barreling down the sidewalk towards me. Dog stops about a foot from me (now with my hand on my gun) and the lady who came out of the house called the dog and apologized. I don't think she saw me really well due to some shrubs between me and the house, but the guy working on the house I was in front of certainly did. His eyes were fairly wide, so I'm guessing he saw where my hand was.

I don't even know the legality of shooting a dog in self defense, and I'm glad I don't have to find out. Great Danes are scary when they are moving quickly towards you.

Proper Kerni ng posted:

It beats trying to outrun a pack of feral dogs, or fending off a meth head with a water bottle and trail mix.

Fanny packs aren't as good as proper gun-belt-under-an-outer-garment concealed carry, but they beat the hell out of carrying in a purse or backpack/messenger bag because the pack sits right in close and is secured to your waist so it doesn't flop around and can't be easily snatched. The main thing is to either get a fanny pack that's specifically designed for carry or semi-permanently secure a holster in a regular one, because it sucks to draw on a Proud Boi advancing with a baton and get a gun that's still holstered just as much as it does to forget which pocket has the gun and put your keys in there all up in the trigger guard's personal space.

I wonder where defend equality gang tags' rich fantasy lives come from

# ? May 9, 2024 14:46

Dr. Cool Aids: Jul 6, 2009

Nuns with Guns posted:

Please don’t do this

he meant libraries. impossible to read with all that racket

# ? May 9, 2024 14:47

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Dr. Cool Aids posted:

he meant libraries. impossible to read with all that racket

Taking my guns (AKs) to the pool in the summer so they can ride the water slides with me because my ex has the kids that weekend.

Nuns with Guns has a new favorite as of 15:03 on May 9, 2024

# ? May 9, 2024 14:49

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

TheMightyBoops posted:

I had a locksmith try to pick the lock of my front door once and he couldn�t do it and we ended up blowing up my door with a balloon thing and releasing the latch that way. (It was just the door handle that got locked so there was no deadbolt.)

Needless to say I leave my house with balloons every morning now.

I had to get through a locked door once when I was much younger. My dad owned a building that he rented out to a few people. The hair dressers couldn't get in one morning - the lock had jammed. My dad wasn't about so I grabbed a coat hanger to see if I could pick the lock - (I was young - I thought I could use my video game knowledge to pick locks - but oblivion didn't come out for a while later. Don't know where I got it from).

No such luck. I grabbed a sledgehammer instead. I wasn't going to beat the door down, just break the door handle and lock off.

I just said "alright, no way to be subtle..." It took about 4-5 massive swings. The hairdressers were nervously laughing as this was happening on a busy morning on the main street of our town.

When the door swung open there was a little elderly man halfway down the stairs with a look of terror on his face - when he seen me standing there with a sledge. He lived in the flat beside the hairdresser. He didn't know wtf.

Looking back I think a hammer and chisel would have worked better.

# ? May 9, 2024 14:54

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Cassian of Imola posted:

foaming at the mouth, psychotic golden retrievers

Cassian of Imola posted:

The worst I ever got hosed up by a dog was a Bassett hound. He ripped off both my knees

Inexplicable Humblebrag has a new favorite as of 14:57 on May 9, 2024

# ? May 9, 2024 14:55

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

lobster shirt posted:

ive never had a cavity

we should start a club

# ? May 9, 2024 14:57

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Valko posted:

I had to get through a locked door once when I was much younger. My dad owned a building that he rented out to a few people. The hair dressers couldn't get in one morning - the lock had jammed. My dad wasn't about so I grabbed a coat hanger to see if I could pick the lock - (I was young - I thought I could use my video game knowledge to pick locks - but oblivion didn't come out for a while later. Don't know where I got it from).

No such luck. I grabbed a sledgehammer instead. I wasn't going to beat the door down, just break the door handle and lock off.

I just said "alright, no way to be subtle..." It took about 4-5 massive swings. The hairdressers were nervously laughing as this was happening on a busy morning on the main street of our town.

When the door swung open there was a little elderly man halfway down the stairs with a look of terror on his face - when he seen me standing there with a sledge. He lived in the flat beside the hairdresser. He didn't know wtf.

Looking back I think a hammer and chisel would have worked better.

Smash a door open with a sledgehammer, call that an Irish Locksmith

# ? May 9, 2024 15:00

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

The Saddest Rhino posted:

reading that made me think of how the guy who drew the bad furry comic Jack had a school shooter storyline that was stopped by a good furry with a gun

e: holy moly the comic is still ongoing

was jack the conservative furry incest one or the future serial killer furry one

# ? May 9, 2024 15:01

Stux: Nov 17, 2006; Can't post for 4 hours!

Cassian of Imola posted:

I wonder where defend equality gang tags' rich fantasy lives come from

its nice that regardless of where on the political spectrum you are, being into owning guns is a 100% signifier for being completely psychotically unhinged

# ? May 9, 2024 15:02

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

Improbable Lobster posted:

was jack the conservative furry incest one or the future serial killer furry one

the latter op. the former was like, jay nolan or something i forgot his name

# ? May 9, 2024 15:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Feels Villeneuve posted:

the latter op. the former was like, jay nolan or something i forgot his name

Concessions, I think. Both of them actual furries stopped caring about long, long ago, if they ever did.

# ? May 9, 2024 15:06

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

valko, have you considered documenting your life, perhaps in a blog or youtube video journal form?

# ? May 9, 2024 15:06

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

perhaps... a sprite comic...

# ? May 9, 2024 15:07

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Cassian of Imola posted:

I wonder where defend equality gang tags' rich fantasy lives come from

jfc

# ? May 9, 2024 15:08

Albino Broccoli: Aug 5, 2022

Learning that Jack webcomic is still going is like finding out that drug-addicted high schooler who was sent to jail soon after graduating is still out and about and abusing animals for fun

# ? May 9, 2024 15:10

Cassian of Imola: Feb 9, 2011; Keeping her memory alive!

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

e:

not today, air bud

:blastu:

# ? May 9, 2024 15:36

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

Feels Villeneuve posted:

Cap has far more restraint than me, I would have punched the poo poo out of a five year old child who did that.

...I know this because I once had a five year old child run up and chomp down on my arm and start thrashing around like a dog hanging off a rope because apparently he thought that sort of thing was hilarious? and his worthless rear end in a top hat parents just chuckled when he did it to people like it didn't mark him as a future serial killer or anything, but since it was my arm he was hanging off of I didn't think it was especially charming, so I punched him in the face hard enough that he fell down and poo poo himself and that's why I don't go to family reunions anymore.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? May 9, 2024 15:38

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Psycho posters ftw

# ? May 9, 2024 15:44

Peachfart: Jan 21, 2017

Feels Villeneuve posted:

Cap has far more restraint than me, I would have punched the poo poo out of a five year old child who did that.

...I know this because I once had a five year old child run up and chomp down on my arm and start thrashing around like a dog hanging off a rope because apparently he thought that sort of thing was hilarious? and his worthless rear end in a top hat parents just chuckled when he did it to people like it didn't mark him as a future serial killer or anything, but since it was my arm he was hanging off of I didn't think it was especially charming, so I punched him in the face hard enough that he fell down and poo poo himself and that's why I don't go to family reunions anymore.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

holy poo poo

# ? May 9, 2024 15:56

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

personally i have never struck a child

# ? May 9, 2024 15:57

CelticPredator: Oct 11, 2013; 🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

I want to own a bunch of iconic prop movie guns and have them set up in my basement like Burt gummer

# ? May 9, 2024 15:58

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

it rules that the gun forum is full of insecure violent weirdos that need their AR15 to feel safe

# ? May 9, 2024 15:59

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Feels Villeneuve posted:

Cap has far more restraint than me, I would have punched the poo poo out of a five year old child who did that.

...I know this because I once had a five year old child run up and chomp down on my arm and start thrashing around like a dog hanging off a rope because apparently he thought that sort of thing was hilarious? and his worthless rear end in a top hat parents just chuckled when he did it to people like it didn't mark him as a future serial killer or anything, but since it was my arm he was hanging off of I didn't think it was especially charming, so I punched him in the face hard enough that he fell down and poo poo himself and that's why I don't go to family reunions anymore.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Cassian of Imola posted:

I wonder where defend equality gang tags' rich fantasy lives come from

Why is it always dogs and children�

# ? May 9, 2024 16:00

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Nuns with Guns posted:

Why is it always dogs and children…

Is this rhetorical?

# ? May 9, 2024 16:01

TheMightyBoops: Nov 1, 2016

If someone physically assaulted my kid at a family gathering I don�t even know what I�d do. Bare minimum that person would never see or talk to me or my kid again.

That post is seriously one of the most hosed up things I�ve read here.

# ? May 9, 2024 16:03

Marcade: Jun 11, 2006; Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?

Nuns with Guns posted:

Why is it always dogs and children�

They grossly misunderstood W.C. Fields.

# ? May 9, 2024 16:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 17:43

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

TheMightyBoops posted:

If someone physically assaulted my kid at a family gathering I don�t even know what I�d do. Bare minimum that person would never see or talk to me or my kid again.

That post is seriously one of the most hosed up things I�ve read here.

# ? May 9, 2024 16:04

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Legends: The Heart of Darkness is about a Rolex

«‹›446 »