LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

There is a difference between Sagas and drama. The two are often intertwined, but for the purposes of this thread we'll define Sagas as tales or events that people outside of Something Awful, perhaps outside the internet all together (they exist??) would find fun, funny, or otherwise interesting and noteworthy. Drama is when the event in question is doing little but causing a lot of people sadness, frustration, or harm. I understand drama will often find its way into this thread, especially ones that are currently on-going (cough), but please try to keep the thread focused on Sagas instead.

Rationale posted:

So my wife inherited a defunct commercial building with a leaky roof and crumbling corner. $12,000 later it’s dry and sound.

We’re paying taxes on it and waiting for the next thing to cost money so we decided to either sell it or use it.

The building is located by a busy street a few minutes from a 1,000 student high school. Cars go by every ten to fifteen seconds throughout the day with a decent morning rush hour. For this reason I intend to make the building into a drive-through coffee and donuts kind of place. I’d imagine that from 6am to 10am we could conservatively sell 800 drinks and 800 donuts netting double what the two of us make now.-

I’ve sourced a donut machine that claims to be capable of 40 dozen donuts an hour. I’ve been picking up espresso machines and coffee pots when they’re cheap. I can cut concrete, set drains, run gas and water. I’ve been a plumber for ten years and I’ve built quite a few kitchens but I’ve never designed one.

One current sticking point is a grease hood. I’d like a 5x12’ island hood in the middle of the kitchen but I can’t find one.

Then there’s also the layout consideration. I’ve never done much food service work and I’d hate to build my enterprise suboptimally.

Long story short I’m capable of doing most of what needs done I just don’t know exactly what that is. I can budget maybe 75,000 for this because that’s all the time I have before our projected open date and we’re funding this with our wages.

If any of you goons would like to weigh in I’d appreciate it.

Mia Wasikowska posted:

Like the title says! This classic web 1.0 forum has a lot of history!! You guys remember Tribute.avi? Well DID YOU KNOW it was actually tribute.wmv originally?

Some of the Lore discussed so far:
Fingat:
https://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/gamecube-challenge-fingat/ and https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3417598

Duke Nukem Forever Launch:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3416433&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

THE ZIPLINE!!!! A goon favorite:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3290020&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
https://twitter.com/FoldableHuman/status/1018965087074177024

Doom Bathroom:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3813464%22

Griefing:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637

FE8 Reverse Recruitment Hack:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749611&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

gom owns abe for a month:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

hawaii retreat gone wrong:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1174437&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

looking for a bento box:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=406683

Let's Play: Phoenix Command: AR-15 vs. 30-50 feral hogs

renfaire guy makes a pasta sauce:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3723305

controllers only mods used:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3856974&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

Ask me about being a birthday party princess:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3502448&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Turdiak:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3968160


Darken the Skies of the Third World with Angry Bees:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2722818

Porfiriato posted:

I still enjoy perhaps the most successful av/redtext purchase in forums history.

- click the quote to see the av

Mystery Post DO NOT CLICK:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3703099&pagenumber=41&perpage=40#post442993299


How about goverhaus?
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2253640



What made that one extra good was grover was a real doofus. I still remember his famous Iraq war predicitons!

quote:

How long will it take to capture Baghdad? 2 days
Will Saddam be killed? Yes
Total Iraqi civillian casualties: 500 dead
Total military casualties Iraq: 3000 dead
Total military casualties U.S.: 15 dead
Will the Iraqi army regulars hold the lines? No
Will the Republican Guard fight to the end? No
Will chem/bio weapons be used on invading troops?: Yes
Will Saddam launch attacks on the Kurds? Yes
Will Saddam launch attacks on Israel? No
-If yes; will Isreal retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Saddam sacrifice Baghdad (gas/nuke it)? No
Will the Kurds make a grab for independence? Yes
Will Iran do anything silly like try for land? Yes
Will Saddam burn the oil fields? Yes
How long will the US be occupying Iraq? ~15 years
Will the Iraq war catalyze increased terrorism in America?No
In the long run, will this war be good or bad for the world? Good
We have to look at what those civilian casualties are- just because they're civilian doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities:
1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a cruise missile fired at the market.
2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house is targetting by a smart bomb and blown up.
OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since the US doesn't make a habit of targetting markets or houses, they're very small in number!
3) A civilian working at a chemical weapon factory gets killed when the chemical weapon plant is bombed.
4) A civilian security guard at a weapons depot is killed when the weapons explode.
5) A civilian contractor repairing a tank is killed by a MOAB dropped on the unit.
6) A civilian engineer is killed when the military command center he works at is destroyed.
7) A civilian delivering snackiecakes to the baghdad bunker vending machines eats a 5,000lb bunker buster.
etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of civilians directly supporting the military that aren't exactly "innocent" and would be mire rightly counted among the military casualties than civilian. I'm a civilian and work for the US military, but I acknowledge I'm also a valid military target because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of civilian casualties in this campaign will not be innocent.

23 March 2023 Edit:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Maybe I do have a moral aversion to making money because here goes. You could have continued doing this forever if you weren't trying to pin the blame on another user. I read your posts in the GBS thread and thought to myself "drat - who would be dumb enough to buy that avatar in response to those posts?" It seemed to good to be true from your perspective, and well, it was. Why the gently caress would you buy this avatar for yourself? I know you are aware of the ongoing discussion about avatar traceability. The part that has gone unsaid is that I can look up when someone buys an avatar for themselves, and that's what you did here. You log in to the forums to do so and they are associated with your account.


link here:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=4027239&pagenumber=20&perpage=40#post530681135

I guess I can see why you said this:

I wish I could say this is the first time you've done this, but it's not. You seem to have used the avatar system to direct death threats at yourself and tell yourself to kill yourself repeatedly and even said that you, yourself should "join the 41%". Why? Why the gently caress would you do that? Mirror universe Koala's March where she sockpuppets negative attention at herself instead isn't any more fun. I maybe get it a little bit up until the point where you start blaming other people for them and manipulatively pretending you don't know what they're referring to.

So yeah, I am averse to making money if it's from someone buying hateful avatars for themselves and trying to pin it on other people.

fake edit: lmfao I swear on my forums life I'm not responsible for that KM avatar - it wasn't there when I started typing this post. Someone else must have puzzled it out.

secret confession:
i bought spr the km avatar

i had just refunded the re4 remake because it wouldn't run on my computer. i had noticed spr had their avs changed a whole bunch in just one day. an unusual amount of times. i had never seen an av changed so many times in such a short period of time on these forums.
what was especially odd was a few things - usually if someone already has a demeaning red text av and they go into another thread and piss that thread off, that thread won't buy them ANOTHER demeaning red text av about slightly different subject matter, because they already have a nasty red text av about denying genocides or whatever.

i also noticed a similarity in style between the writing in spr's redtext (the one screencapped in jeff's post) and some of the posts spr made in cspam's "thread for straight up doing misogyny".https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4027202
I also thought about a post spr made about how all the mods secretly lover her posts and are pming her encouragement and so forth - that reminded me a lot of KM.
That got me thinking about "forums main characters" and what kinds of things people who love drama on internet sites do. Different types of sockpuppeting and so on.

Would I do it again? well, i had no idea jeff was gonna make that post. but if i hadnt gotten lucky and jeff hadnt posted his take down, i would have just been out $10 and regretted it and felt dumb. don't be like me goons. there but for the grace of god etc. im DONE with forums drama.



Anyway, what are YOUR favorite tales, legends, forum history events and so on from Something Awful??

Speedball posted:

You wanna know how much extra loving work this guy has been doing? "Hikari" has an Animal Crossing village filled with 1000s of hours worth of content, I went through it all. There's committing to a bit, and then there's living a double life. That's why I was sure Hikari was real for the longest time.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

Speedball posted:

The Dark Id was my very best friend for over seven years, and this sucks tremendously to hear. He would often go on about how he wanted Kissinger to die so he could say he outlived Kissinger, and now I never got the chance to tell him..... Crap. I love ya, man.

Speedball posted:

Well now I feel like a loving idiot. Dude was playing mind games on me, pretending to support me in one persona and ragging on me in the other.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

Note Block posted:

you stupid baka it's hikkari

sebmojo posted:

Started, going

pog boyfriend posted:

ground floor

sebmojo posted:

Started, going

Nuns with Guns posted:

drat we were one month shy of a year old on that last thread. That has to be like the 2nd longest any of these threads has lasted.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

Yaoi Gagarin posted:

might want to link pentyne's massive summary post in the OP

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4028862&pagenumber=1595&perpage=40&userid=0#post538154079

Zore posted:

did he ever like set up any kind of gofundme or anything? I can't even remember him scamming people or making money off this poo poo since the Patreon is explicitly for something he was actually doing at one point (streaming/making LPs). Instead just building up this insane alternate life that got more and more blatantly fake as time went on.

Zore posted:

did he ever like set up any kind of gofundme or anything? I can't even remember him scamming people or making money off this poo poo since the Patreon is explicitly for something he was actually doing at one point (streaming/making LPs). Instead just building up this insane alternate life that got more and more blatantly fake as time went on.

Cholifut posted:

That's why it's clear that it was pathological. It was never for money, even once. Just weird lies to be someone else.
He was the coolest and most persecuted man you know.

Rea posted:

No Gofundme, seemingly no form of scam. Just trying to impress other people on the internet. Really feels like something out of 2004 rather than 2024.

pog boyfriend posted:

ground floor

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

Dongicus posted:

its drakengard march

euroshopper posted:

how tf does pentyne remember and catalogue every Forum Moment no matter how big

euroshopper posted:

how tf does pentyne remember and catalogue every Forum Moment no matter how big

Ibram Gaunt posted:

The forums = Godly.

Soup du Jour posted:

what was he getting out of this

Yaoi Gagarin posted:

might want to link pentyne's massive summary post in the OP

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4028862&pagenumber=1595&perpage=40&userid=0#post538154079