/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Slugworth posted:

Sour Grapes

It would be sour grapes if they were mocking streamers for getting money, not mocking idiots for giving it

# ? Apr 28, 2017 19:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 10:11

HCFJ: Nov 30, 2009; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Obvious solution is to see a therapist about it. With his luck though, she'll be a smoking hot librarian-type who wears expensive stockings and strappy heels; she'll also have terrible morals and ethics.

Lmao I've seen this movie

# ? Apr 28, 2017 19:49

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

HCFJ posted:

lmao i've seen this movie

Title?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 19:49

putrid aidsman: Apr 13, 2017; by Lowtax

a subreddit for posting cute pictures of pets. what could go wrong???
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/681vkq/good_morning_little_popcorn_looks_like_hes_had/

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:22

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

quote:

This might sound like a no brainer, obviously criminals are bad right? But my husband is a bit... over the top with this stuff. He was in the army and tried to be a cop but got offered a better job at his cousins company so he did that, but he very much still has the 'law and order' attitude that he has always had.

Let me just give a few examples. We watched slumdog millionaire, and he refused to continue watching the movie after a scene where the kid robs some tourists because he didnt want to watch a movie where they 'glorify petty criminals and make them seem like good people'. We got into this big argument (more like a debate, we werent yelling), and he basically was like "I am tired of media making it seem like this is okay, if this was really a good movie, he would have been arrested and thrown in jail for that. This movie influences people to commit crimes". I was just perplexed honestly. He has this idea that any media which portrays crime in a relatively good light, including something where the 'criminals get away' is bad and immoral.

Here's another example, one which we actually have gotten into arguments over. He often rides around on his bike through the park, and whenever he sees kids hanging out, he goes up to them as if he is a cop and asks them what they are doing, and if he sees like beers or something, he calls the cops on them. At first I thought it was funny the first time he did it because I thought it was a joke, but then he started ranting on about how the kids are going to jail and that they are losers and they deserve to go to jail and all this stuff. I was like... oh god drat, this is serious, you REALLY care about jailing them. And he does this kind of often, not only when he is biking. He called the cops one time because he 'smelled pot' near our house, and the cops laughed it off and left and he got so embarrassed his face turned red. He called the cops on a party in an entirely different town, I tried convincing him it was a bad idea and they were just having fun and he was like "I never had that fun, responsible people dont have that type of fun, they are doing horrible poo poo in there, drugs, underaged drinking, all types of poo poo, you dont want to know what they do in there blah blah blah"

He just has this general attitude towards this stuff that edges me the wrong way, like he thinks of himself as the protector and guardian of law and order or some poo poo. He spends time with his cop buddy and they literally just rant on and on about crime and how it is a scourge on mankind and the community, and its a tiny bit pathetic sometimes, they talk about stoners like they are murderers.

So there are two major issues here. For one, I have yet to tell him that I myself was quite the party girl back in the day. I used to go wild. I used to break into buildings to go to illegal raves in manhattan, I used to smoke pot and do cocaine (occasionally), I used to drink underaged a lot, I had a fake ID and went to clubs, got into a few fights... by his definition, I should be thrown in jail right now for my past crimes lol.

Another issue is our kids. We have a baby boy (5 months) and we plan on another kid. What happens when the kid wants to experiment with drinking? What happens when he sneaks out of his bedroom or goes to a party or something? I would allow him to do this stuff, I wouldn't be the overbearing mom, I would allow him to have friends over with a few beers at like 16-17 or something like I was allowed to. If I caught him smoking pot at like 17 I wouldn't punish him, give him a stern talking to and talk to him about the problems associated with pot and tell him never to get arrested... but honestly my husband wont, ever. I am almost scared he would disown or call the cops on our son. I am worried as to how this will end up once my son gets older. This is a recipe for disaster.

I know what your gonna say, "why did you stay with this man in the first place!!" but honestly I do love him a lot. Like a lot a lot. We had been dating for 6 years before we got married 3 years ago, when he got me pregnant I was completely down for a child, I wanted it so badly, and at the time I thought he would be the perfect father, stable job, educated, good law abiding dad. I never thought the last part might be a problem until I realized it. What do I do? How can I somehow make him realize that his point of view is a bit damaging?

tl;dr: My husband is a bit too law-obsessed and im afraid its going to hurt my son in the long run once my son hits the rebel years

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:28

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

putrid aidsman posted:

a subreddit for posting cute pictures of pets. what could go wrong???
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/681vkq/good_morning_little_popcorn_looks_like_hes_had/

oh no i read the comments. oh no i'm going to go hug my foolbaby and nuzzle him till he's annoyed.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:33

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

zakharov posted:

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

Holy poo poo this guy is the wettest of blankets. He is literally the "I had fun once, it was awful" guy.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:33

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

putrid aidsman posted:

a subreddit for posting cute pictures of pets. what could go wrong???
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/681vkq/good_morning_little_popcorn_looks_like_hes_had/

What happened here? It looks like the subreddit mods deleted all evidence that their sub is a toilet.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:35

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

Clark Nova posted:

What happened here? It looks like the subreddit mods deleted all evidence that their sub is a toilet.

quote:

[�]nephrine 130 points 3 hours ago
PSA have you read her website? He looks like this because of neglect and abuse. Sick with pneumonia, leg broken by OP's husband which they left him walking around on until OP's own husband decided to snap it back in, and the kitty's two siblings apparently died early from literally neglect. There is nothing cute about it and she describes his poor life with a casual glee that is really, really downright creepy. He got bit by a snake which she doesn't seem to have realized until he lost half his tail, and OP posted about how it was nice that they didn't even have to box him up for a house move because he was so sick he couldn't move around and just stayed in one spot. Again in gleeful cutesy tones. Stop up voting this pyscho poo poo.
If you've ever loved an animal in your life, you would not see eye to eye to how OP views them.

All life is trash

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:36

Marius Pontmercy: Apr 2, 2007; Liberte
Egalite
Beyonce

zakharov posted:

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

That's a great way to get shot, so I'd take a nice, big life insurance policy out on your husband.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:40

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Faffel posted:

All life is trash

JFC.

Drop the bombs.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:46

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Faffel posted:

All life is trash

gently caress that poo poo. gently caress them. gently caress everything.

There's a special place in hell for this, and that place is still too loving good for them.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:51

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

zakharov posted:

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

if this woman ever tells her husband about her past he will literally murder her

so beat him to it :murder:

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:54

sit on my Facebook: Jun 20, 2007; ASS GAS OR GRASS
No One Rides for FREE
In the Trumplord Holy Land

Yawgmoth posted:

Holy poo poo this guy is the wettest of blankets. He is literally the "I had fun once, it was awful" guy.

This guy did not have fun once

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:56

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Eponine posted:

That's a great way to get shot, so I'd take a nice, big life insurance policy out on your husband.

It'd be cool if George Zimmerman got shot instead of Trayvon Martin next time around, but I don't have high hopes :smith:

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:56

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

I don't understand how she married the dude without knowing she was in a relationship with Dredd.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 20:58

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Friend [25M] is dating a little person [20sF] he called her disgusting, ugly, ect in front of me and I'm [22F] not sure how/if to tell her.

quote:

My friend (Zach), who will not be my friend anymore after I get this figured out, has been dating a little person for about 3 or 4 months. We'll call her Kate. Kate is about 3'8"ish. Kate is also pretty head over heels in love with Zach already.

Every time I've hung out with them, Kate is all over Zach. She's incredibly happy to be with him. When I've spoken to Kate one on one, shes told me about how excited she is to maybe have a future with Zach, that she finally feels like she found the man for her, things like that. I thought Zach felt the same, or at least liked her!

The other day I stopped by Zachs place to return his mixer that I borrowed, and we sat down and all of a sudden he started laughing and asked me if I wanted to know something funny. I said sure, and he looked at me and said that when Kate and him have sex, he feels like he's having sex with a turkey because her limbs are very short but her belly is distended. Obviously I was like what the hell is wrong with you? He was having a laughing fit and kept telling me about how he has to close his eyes during sex, that her "toddler" hands creep him out, that she's bowlegged/"waddles", that he hates hugging her because she's the size of a child. Very mean things.

The worst thing was that he said she wanted kids but he'd never take the chance of having a little child so she's out of luck, but that she's "desperate" so she agreed to give up on wanting kids.

So I asked him, if you think so lowly of her why the hell are you with her? And his exact words were "she's gross but she pays for all my poo poo now. I do what I've got to do." I gathered my stuff and went home soon after.

So he is a terrible person. But now here is the issue of if/how I can tell Kate these things. Kate does have territory and self esteem issues and confided in me that she was uncomfortable with me being around, but with time she got used to me. She told me about how men used to cheat on her but she finally found a good man. When we've talked about dating, shes told me things like I need to have my man's back, don't let people come in between your relationship, protect what you have. Stuff like that.

I fear that Kate will only see me as trying to ruin her relationship, because she's never heard Zach say any of this stuff to her aside from the discussion on kids.

Honestly I'm 99% sure that if I reach out to her telling her the Zach doesn't respect her or care about her, she'd go tell Zach, he would lie, and I'd be the lying relationship ruining harlot. I wouldn't mind never talking to Zach again, but I really don't know how to get through to Kate or of its possible. I don't have any proof of the things he's said since it was an in person convo, so of course she would doubt me. What should I do? I want to help her if I can.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

zakharov posted:

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

I know that I have made a point that it does not matter, and that the obsession with this notion is incredibly damaging, and that it is empathy and love that define a person, but this man has a tiny penis

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Friend [25M] is dating a little person [20sF] he called her disgusting, ugly, ect in front of me and I'm [22F] not sure how/if to tell her.

People are insanely lovely about physical disability. See: this thread, where someone asked if I was dating "Quasimodo".

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:07

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I'm just left wondering how Zack thought that conversation was going to go, none of that would reflect well on him even if he told it to the douchiest of douchebros

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Apr 28, 2017

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I'm just left wondering how Zack thought that conversation was going to go

People are so loving lovely to the physically disabled they assume everyone else also views them as subhuman, hth

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:16

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Woman should run away to raise her child she promised to do the best by and become something without a lot of background checks, lets say factory manager, and really pray to god on high that she can create a castle on a cloud for her child.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:24

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

fruit on the bottom posted:

gently caress that poo poo. gently caress them. gently caress everything.

There's a special place in hell for this, and that place is still too loving good for them.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:26

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Children suck

Dump the kid in the swamp or whatever, let it fend for itself and grow strong in the wild

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:25

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I'm just left wondering how Zack thought that conversation was going to go, none of that would reflect well on him even if he told it to the douchiest of douchebros

it's like when you're a total racist so when you let your guard down and confide your awful opinions in people they turn out to be totally horrified

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:25

sit on my Facebook: Jun 20, 2007; ASS GAS OR GRASS
No One Rides for FREE
In the Trumplord Holy Land

boner confessor posted:

it's like when you're a total racist so when you let your guard down and confide your awful opinions in people they turn out to be totally horrified

I went through this very experience with a new co-worker just today!

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:27

Barudak: May 7, 2007

boner confessor posted:

it's like when you're a total racist so when you let your guard down and confide your awful opinions in people they turn out to be totally horrified

Guy in college casually dropped that he thought that he and some friends may have killed a homeless man for selling him bad coke

It did not get the laugh response he was fishing for.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:28

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Barudak posted:

Woman should run away to raise her child she promised to do the best by and become something without a lot of background checks, lets say factory manager, and really pray to god on high that she can create a castle on a cloud for her child.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:28

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

also odds are real good law and order dad is going to hit his kids, boys especially

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:29

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

zakharov posted:

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

There is no way in hell this guy didn't flunk the cop psych eval

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:31

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

zakharov posted:

In which a woman marries Inspector Javert.

My (30F) husband (32M) seemingly despises criminality in any shape or form and it makes me terrified to tell him my past or raise our kid with him, not sure if this reasonable or not.

It's like she married the meat puppet the Comics Code Authority took over after gaining sentience.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:32

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

boner confessor posted:

also odds are real good law and order dad is going to hit his kids, boys especially

Absolutely. One comment said "The first time his son breaks a rule, he'll realize the problem and come around"

No he won't, he'll beat the gently caress out of him.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:46

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Faffel posted:

All life is trash

What! What was the picture of? I'm so confused

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:48

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

WampaLord posted:

Absolutely. One comment said "The first time his son breaks a rule, he'll realize the problem and come around"

No he won't, he'll beat the gently caress out of him.

there's comments in there about how it's too bad he didn't become a cop, because that would teach him to respect petty criminals as part of the circle of life

Redditors, man

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:48

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

WampaLord posted:

Absolutely. One comment said "The first time his son breaks a rule, he'll realize the problem and come around"

No he won't, he'll beat the gently caress out of him.

just wait until he makes his kids call him "sir"

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:48

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

54 40 or gently caress posted:

What! What was the picture of? I'm so confused

I think an abused animal?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:52

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

there's comments in there about how it's too bad he didn't become a cop, because that would teach him to respect petty criminals as part of the circle of life

Redditors, man

dude would have killed a lot of teenagers with the full backing of his police department

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:51

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Fullhouse posted:

dude would have killed a lot of teenagers with the full backing of his police department

He still has a shot given his behavoir.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 21:52

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

People are insanely lovely about physical disability. See: this thread, where someone asked if I was dating "Quasimodo".

I made a comparison based on description. But if you want to get picky about it Quasimodo was pitiable but noble, and the guy you were dating sounds like a jerk.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 10:11

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

I don't think Daddy Dredd will hit his kids. If he's so much about following the letter of the law then he'll know it is assault and child abuse. Child Removals have happened from as little as a red mark on a child's arm from when a parent grabbed them roughly.

And if mom really wants to protect her kids she's going to report him in a red hot minute when he hits his kids.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »