bamhand posted:

Is sushi ok for pregnant women? My friend was avoiding undercooked meats and charcuterie during her pregnancy. I thought that was the boyfriend's reasoning at first but then it turned out he was just a racist idiot.

Barudak posted:

Its infinitely easier for you and the doctor to agree to cut out cold cuts and raw fish than to have a nuanced discussion and keep track of all teh finer points of the exceptions to the general rule of thumb. Like you can drink low amounts of alcohol during pregnancy, but why bother letting people thinking theyre good judges and instead just tell them none.

Im more worried they guy thinks genetics determine food palatability.

dudeness posted:

Me [23F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 8 months, argument over me eating sushi too much

Batterypowered7 posted:

How about a story about a happier Hugh? You said he wasn't always this way. How was he ten years ago?

quote:

I was at target and I had my hearing aids in. They have no volume cap and they pick up high-pitched noises way too well. i don't wear them around traffic because sirens can't be helped and are a good thing.

Kids, however... yeah, there was a kid behind me and I didn't see him. I only noticed him when he let out a high pitched shriek. i couldn't help it. I screamed like he'd bit me and covered my ears and cringed. The kid was suddenly quiet as he walked away down a different aisle.

I doubt he learned anything for long, though.

quote:

quote:

Sorry about the lack of flair, on mobile. My boyfriend has a daughter who is 3, ive posted about the two of them before. She's an alright kid, I'm not too fond of her considering she's 3 and is spoiled as hell by everyone around her. She cries for literally no reason because she's not getting enough attention, anf my boyfriend and I joke around that shes always acting like a bitch (we never call her a bitch to her face, its a joke as I said)

So the other day, we're out disc golfing with another couple and we brought her and her 10yo cousin, couple doesnt care they like kids etc.

We're in the car, 3yo says "Dad, you love LochNesstle a whole lot right? You love, love loooove her?"

He says "You bet I do, I care about her a whole lot!".

She then says very darkly, AT THREE YEARS OLD, "Yeah. You love her so much now, you must not love me at all..."

WHAT.

He goes on to say that shes her number one, she's his baby and he could never love anything more etc. .

Meanwhile I'm staring at my lap and my eyes are burning with tears, and he's rubbing my hand and looking at me apologetically.

loving insane, now I'm terrified of her growing up to be manic depressive like her bio mom and hating me, like every misunderstood step mom ever. Boyfriend never wanted kids and the 3yo was a failed attempt by crazy ex to trap him. So he WOULD be cf like me, but that was ripped away from him by his ex.

Now I fear that I'm the mean old step mom that she's going to resent forever, by taking her "precious dad" away.

Thanks for letting me rant guys, I like the kid enough but she's a real bitch sometimes.

Brainworm posted:

To be fair, it's just this one issue.

Danaru posted:

I was at target and I had my hearing aids in. They have no volume cap and they pick up high-pitched noises way too well. i don't wear them around traffic because sirens can't be helped and are a good thing.

Kids, however... yeah, there was a kid behind me and I didn't see him. I only noticed him when he let out a high pitched shriek. i couldn't help it. I screamed like he'd bit me and covered my ears and cringed. The kid was suddenly quiet as he walked away down a different aisle.

I doubt he learned anything for long, though.

YeahTubaMike posted:

this seems pretty reasonable, people get startled by loud noises all the time

Ask Me For Warez posted:

I like that he can't specify a certain hobby but can give intimate details about a new job and the arguments they have about it. Like she is going to find this post and think "oh this redditer didn't describe my crippling addiction to furry porn, it must be some other couple."

Pick posted:

He was in choir. He had a really beautiful voice.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Sounds tragic. SOMETHING ROBBED HIM OF HIS LIGHT.

dudeness posted:

Me [23F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 8 months, argument over me eating sushi too much

quote:

Hey, r/relationships.

So I’m a 29 year old woman who still lives at home with her parents [66F and 68M]. My problem is that they’re really not wanting to let go of me, and haven’t wanted to for a long time, despite the fact that I turn 30 and get married this year. Because of this, I’ve never felt like an adult and am kind of terrified of living away from them with my fiancé [27M] later this year. Despite that, I do want to be independent and confident on my own, but it is difficult. Most of the examples I’m bringing up are my mom’s issues, but my dad has some of his own.

-When I got my license at 16, neither of my parents wanted me to drive on the south side of town because it was much more populated and didn’t think I could handle it, which made me end up being scared of driving in anything past moderate traffic to this day. More on that later.

-Not wanting me to go to the college I got accepted to ~2 hours away from home, which meant I stayed at home and commuted to our local one. I understood that our local college was cheaper, and while I was disappointed, it was okay. It was hard not to be bitter though when I overheard my mom telling one of her friends, “I’m just not ready to let her go yet!”

-I met my fiancé when I was 23, and up until I was 26 or so when I was out with him, I had to be home by midnight, and my mom wouldn’t go to sleep until I got home. If I wasn’t leaving/on my way by like 12:30 at the latest, then the texts started. Somehow I was able to convince her to eventually go to bed when I went out and was able to come home when I wanted, which was usually between 1-3 a.m.

-While I was in college, and even now, I help my parents out at their after school tutoring center with kids. I’m incredibly lucky in the fact that they provide groceries, clothes, etc. and don’t make me pay rent, but I wasn’t getting any income from anywhere else. So after graduating, I wanted to look for at least a part time job to boost my bank account. Every time I had an interview, my mom would basically kind of sulk and tell me downsides of the job I was applying for, as well as saying things like, “But our kids need you too! “ I never did find a job besides helping tutor, but my dad did help me build up my account, so that worked out.

-My fiancé planned an overnight trip for us to visit his friends, who are also a couple, that lived in another town about two years ago. I wasn’t able to go. The reason? It was overnight and my dad wasn’t comfortable with me spending the night with two men, one of whom I was dating. My fiancé and I would both take (separate) couches, and the couple would sleep in their bed, so it wasn’t like we were planning on having a big orgy session. Nevertheless, I didn’t go, because if I did, my dad “would look at me differently” when I came back, no matter what did or didn’t happen. Although I do have to give props to my mom, because last year I visited him in DFW at his dad’s house to go to his friend’s wedding, and my mom convinced my dad to let me spend the night then, with the assurance that we would sleep in separate rooms. I think it was because we were engaged by then? I dunno. They drove me and picked me up the next day. I don’t know if my dad “looks at me differently” now.

-This is the biggest/most recent issue which actually made me make this post. My fiancé recently got a job in Dallas as well moved apartments for us when we get married. Again, I don’t already live with him because that’d be “shacking up”. Anyway, when we get married, I’m going to have to move to Dallas to be with him. In comes the being scared of driving issue. Additionally, I’ve never been “allowed”, so to speak, to drive outside of my city. It’s a pretty medium-large sized place, but I don’t think my parents think I can make it in Dallas traffic.

However, my fiancé has been encouraging me, telling me directions from my house where I can get off the interstate, and even bought me a GPS to ease my fears. I’m still extremely nervous about the drive and the traffic, but I’m starting to think I can do this. He usually comes to visit me, but with apartment fees, bills, and wedding costs piling up, it’s not as easy to drop in and spend money on a hotel to visit me for a couple of days (You didn’t think my parents would let him spend the night, would you?). He wants me to come visit him sometimes to get rid of my fear, and get used to the traffic and city itself. I agree that I need to, and asked my mom if we could maybe plan out a date this summer so I could make the drive and get used to it, as well as visit him. She kind of shut down and didn’t answer me.

So I asked her what would be a good compromise to make us all more comfortable about it? She said, “For [fiancé] to find a job down here.” That was pretty disappointing. The reason I’m coming around to making the drive and not being so terrified about it is because I know I’ll have to do it eventually and I don’t want to be dropped into it suddenly after I get married. I don’t understand why parents, especially my mom, seem to be so in denial about me growing up/moving on. Got any advice for me?

Tl;dr: My parents are really overprotective, even as I turn 30 and get married this year. It’s caused me to be anxious about driving and having confidence among other things, and I don’t know how to talk to them about it. Help!

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for your answers!

Batterypowered7 posted:

Sounds tragic. SOMETHING ROBBED HIM OF HIS LIGHT.

quote:

My wife and I got married at the beginning of this year, but we've been together for five years. We both agreed before we got married that we'd wait at least two years after our wedding to start trying for a baby, but my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two months ago, and she's not expected to live for more than six months, a year at the most.
Now my wife thinks we should have a baby. It is all she talks about. Despite the fact that there is every chance my mother will not live for long enough for us to have a baby, my wife is insisting that I'm selfish for not giving my mother the chance to see her her first grandchild before she dies.
I really don't want to have a baby now. Even if we started trying today, and my wife got pregnant immediately, my mother could still die before the baby was born. And I don't want to have a newborn to care for while grieving, especially as I work from home and I would be the primary caregiver after my wife returned to work.
I don't know how to make her see that this is a terrible idea. She's clamped down on it and she won't let it go. I've tried reasoning with her, but her answer to everything is that I don't love my mother enough to do this for her.
I'm trying support my mother through this. I'm trying to sort out what's going to happen to my ten year old half brother when she dies (there is every chance that he will come to live with my wife and I, a least part time). I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to lose my mother in less than a year. But as far as my wife is concerned, I'm making this all about me by not wanting to have a baby right now.
TL;DR - My mother is terminally ill, and my wife thinks I'm selfish for not wanting to give her a grandchild before she dies, I'm feeling really overwhelmed and I don't know how to get her to drop this

quote:

OP I know you've got a lot on your mind but I just wanted to add that you should make sure you are in charge of condoms/bc. If you leave it up to your wife you're likely to end up with an oops baby.

quote:

We haven't had sex since she first brought this up. She says there's no point if we're not trying for a baby.

ArbitraryC posted:

I wonder if she's like a huge weeb and just loves everything from the east and so her obsession with sushi is just the straw that broke the boyfriend's tolerance. Otherwise aside from mercury concerns I can't really think of a reason of why he'd care.

Naerasa posted:

We haven't had sex since she first brought this up. She says there's no point if we're not trying for a baby.

Brainworm posted:

To be fair, it's just this one issue.

Blue Train posted:

This is super healthy

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

since when have people in this thread needed reasons

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean yeah there are a lot of crazy people itt but being mad about what your so is eating on their lunch break is probably one of the more random things I've read about them focusing on.

quote:

My girlfriend gave up her baby for adoption about a year ago, and she's never quite gotten over it. Since I was in favor of giving away the child (I actually would have preferred she abort it, but religious issues) she always tends to lash out at me whenever the guilt gets her. I try to be supportive but the insults really start to get to a guy after a while. We've been vacationing in Wildwood for a week and a half, and she had one of her "incidents" and we had a big fight and we broke up. I got another motel room for myself and enjoyed the rest of my vacation. Now it's time to leave and she expects me to drive her home. I put up with her through all of this, took her abuse, gave her a free vacation half of which we weren't even together but this is the final straw. I don't want to spend 7 hours in a car hearing about what a bastard I am, I want to move on with my life and see if there's anything between me and the redhead in my class. Am I obligated to drive her home just because I drove her there, or should she get her rear end a bus?

EDIT: The kid's not mine guys, it was the result of a one night stand before we even met. I think she knew she was knocked up and looking for someone to support her, she found it, then she hosed it up. I loved this girl but I'm finding it really hard to sympathise with her right now.

YeahTubaMike posted:

this seems pretty reasonable, people get startled by loud noises all the time

Blue Train posted:

I assume it's where she thought she taught him a lesson about being quiet rather than just startling a child

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

like four steps down the crazy scale from the guy who forcefed his vegetarian girlfriend a chicken then raped her

My [19 M] girlfriend [18 F] of a year and a half expects me to drive her home from Jersey after dumping me

value-brand cereal posted:

What lesson? She acted like a loving weirdo and the kid ditched before there could even be a conversation.

quote:

I doubt he learned anything for long, though. 

ArbitraryC posted:

An ex of mine were on a roadtrip and somehow the conversation of our previous breakups came up, all of mine had been pretty amicable to that point (basically just your average people moving/graduating and callin it there sorta situation), her worst one was when she got dumped halfway through a 6 hour drive back from visiting family.

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean yeah there are a lot of crazy people itt but being mad about what your so is eating on their lunch break is probably one of the more random things I've read about them focusing on.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

did you dump her on the spot

Brainworm posted:

Could be that she's missing half the point. It's easy to run up a bill on sushi, and even if she's not, eating out for lunch every day is expensive even if every individual lunch isn't.

quote:

We've been together for a few months this time around. We dated for a couple months over a year ago. He told me he loved me pretty quickly, and a few days ago he even asked me to move in with him. I thought it was best that we wait on that for a bit. But he's still acting like he's really in love.

About a month ago he mentioned he was going to take me out for my birthday. Well my birthday rolled around and I go to his house, expecting he will take me out. But no. He's settled in on his couch playing video games, a few beers in. So I'm a bit disappointed, but I saw a menu on the kitchen counter for a good sushi place that delivers so I thought maybe he was planning on that since I mentioned last week how much I enjoy sushi. But no. He brings up that the menu was left in his door and that it all looked gross. So we eat leftovers while he makes me watch The Dark Knight Rises. At least he shared some of his weed with me at this point because I was having a hard time not looking upset.

I got a few texts from male friends wishing me happy birthday. That made him jealous. He said they all must like me to be texting me on a Friday night like that. I said there was nothing weird about my friends wishing me happy birthday. Then a few minutes later he said "oh yeah, happy birthday" and paused his game long enough to give me a quick peck on the lips. Then he played GTA with his friends online for a few hours, all the while bragging to them about how hot and awesome his girlfriend is. He made me beat them in a few races to illustrate that.

Then he got horny but I can't have sex right now due to a yeast infection so he basically shoved his dick in my face. God typing this out he sounds like such an immature rear end in a top hat. My bar is very low for how I should be treated though. I never have any expectations of people doing nice things for me. So part of me is like "this isn't ok, I should be really upset" but another part of me is like "meh doesn't matter." Basically I don't know how to feel about this.
And since I know people will ask: money is not an issue for him.

tl;dr Boyfriend basically ignored my birthday and acted like a loser teenage boy.

dudeness posted:

Boyfriend [32M] did nothing for my [24F] birthday.


My bar is very low for how I should be treated though.

Brainworm posted:

Could be that she's missing half the point. It's easy to run up a bill on sushi, and even if she's not, eating out for lunch every day is expensive even if every individual lunch isn't.

Clark Nova posted:

She never mentioned money. afaict he's mad she was eating yucky poo poo fishy food from the inscrutable Nipponese instead of whatever the hell he considers palatable

Pick posted:

tbh Hugh was always arrogant and condescending but it was just cool coming from a guy who didn't fit the mold, you know? He was so aloof. But he was so good at everything, too.

dudeness posted:

Boyfriend [32M] did nothing for my [24F] birthday.


My bar is very low for how I should be treated though.

quote:

Hi Reddit. I'm a 25 year old woman who lives alone and has a good job. I've never had a relationship of any kind and have only been out on a handful of dates. I recently decided to try online dating, but there's one thing in the way. I have nothing to put on my profile.

The thing is, I'm not interested in the whole hobby thing. I have a couple college friends but I don't really see them, so I usually cook, clean, or work overtime when I have nothing to do. I like my life this way, I don't particularly want to try a bunch of activities that I'm not interested in. However, I get very few responses with online dating because my profile is mostly blank.

Is there another way I could meet someone? I'm eager to settle down and have children someday, but not even online dating seems to be working. Help?

tl;dr: I have no hobbies/interests by choice, but it makes it hard to meet someone, even online. Looking for suggestions.

Pick posted:

tbh Hugh was always arrogant and condescending but it was just cool coming from a guy who didn't fit the mold, you know? He was so aloof. But he was so good at everything, too.

Khorne posted:

I (25F) have no hobbies or interests and don't really want any. How can I meet someone?
Hi reddit, I lack creativity to such an extent that I can't even create a successful dating site profile as a moderately attractive 25 year old woman with a well paying career she loves.

Clark Nova posted:

She never mentioned money. afaict he's mad she was eating yucky poo poo fishy food from the inscrutable Nipponese instead of whatever the hell he considers palatable