/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Gatts is just like that, best to ignore and move on.

# ? May 26, 2017 14:19

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# ? May 29, 2024 19:05

Brainworm: Mar 23, 2007; ...one of these--
As he hath spices of them all, not all,
For I dare so far free him--made him fear'd...; Nap Ghost

Panfilo posted:

Should probably wait till she's at least 12 weeks pregnant to tell people.

Wonder how the sister would react if the guy's wife ends up having a miscarriage after jumping the gun on the announcement?

I think it'd go a little something like this...

quote:

My[27F] cousin[25F] is a "one upper" type of person and had a pissing contest about miscarriages two days after I suffered one. How do I with class and grace tell her to gently caress off?Non-Romantic

submitted 1 year ago by one_upper_cuz

This is kind of a rant/question... My husband and I learned I were expecting and it was our first pregnancy. It was so exciting and wonderful. Both of our parents are yet to be grandparents so they were over the moon with the news. I shared it on my Facebook after seeing the OBGYN and my hormones and everything looked perfect. All of our friends and family were super happy about the news and my one upper cousin named Lisa was MIA.

Three days ago I experienced spotting and cramping. Everyone and google told me that it was normal for women in the first trimester to spot etc but to make an appointment with my OBGYN to make sure things were kosher. I was scheduled to come in first thing Monday. The next day I was still spotting and I felt constipated which can happen because of all the iron etc but when I leaned over to pick up a sock...

(WARNING GORY DETAILS SKIP IF YOU NEED TO) blood began gushing out and I ran in a panic to the toilet. There was so much blood it was shocking and for several minutes I was bleeding heavily into the toilet and it sounded like a running faucet. I called my Mom (who is an RN) scared out of my wits and she calmed me down and while on the phone with her I passed the fetus and birth sack into the toilet. In shock I stood up and saw it with all the blood and looked down at the floor/my legs where blood was running down and I collapsed onto the floor and immediately yelled for my husband. He flew into a panic seeing me on the floor surrounded and covered in blood and called 911. It seemed like it all took place in ten minutes but it was only two. I felt myself gather my marbles a bit and I stood up, grabbed at towel, and walked out of the house and sat on the porch with the towel under me and waited for the ambulance. They promptly showed up and gathered me onto the stretcher and took me to the nearest hospital where I passed blood clots and lots of blood for hours. They took great care of me and it was so painful they gave me morphine in my IV and unfortunately I was wavering between sleepy solitude and puking. I was only there for ten hours but it was just terrible. My bleeding slowed to a crawl and after many ultra sounds (which hurt terribly) and getting poked and prodded I was deemed well enough to go home.

(NO MORE GORE) I miscarried at ten weeks and it was traumatizing for my husband. It's hard for me to look at things that we had purchased before it happened because I feel an anxiety like... we had this before the miscarriage. Last night I broke down in tears sobbing because I saw jewelry with printed little baby feet on them.

It's been rough but today has been okay. I felt emotionally sound enough to let family know what happened before I broke the news on social media for friends to know. I tried to be as tasteful and positive as possible in the post and I received a lot of love and condolences from family and friends. Unfortunately that's when Lisa reared her ugly head.

She wrote a comment about how sorry she was but she understood because (at the age of 25) she has had EIGHTEEN miscarriages and four successful pregnancies. She essentially turned it into a pissing contest of who had the most miscarriages and how much more badly she suffered from them. I felt numb reading it. Lisa is known for this type of behavior. She ALWAYS has to some how some way be better or smarter than another person. She has to have a happier relationship than other people. She claimed to have gone to a post graduate school and that she was a nutritionist so she knew more than people (to me a nutritionist is to a dietitian what a toothologist is to a dentist). She is the type of person on FB that either bitches about her love life, makes vague posts about cheating, or makes painfully sweet posts about how happy she is with her current beau. I don't usually see this stuff because I put her stuff on ignore but I still had her as a friend because she's family.

The sad truth about Lisa is, she never graduated high school, she doesn't even have a GED. She lives off of government assistance and her first child was taken away because she had heroin in her system. She has a different man in her life every six months to a year and until recently each of those relationships ended up with her getting pregnant. All of those relationships ended because she cheated and she was abusive to her S/O. I don't ever try to compare our lives or think less of her because of her economic issues because I know what it's like to struggle and go without. I know what it's like to go hungry and not have clean clothes. In truth I feel bad for her because no happy or mentally sound person would behave in the way she does. She even argued with my little sister, who is in college, over dietary stuff in regards sugars and Lisa claimed the only bad sugars are sugars from soda. My little sister pointed out that all sugars can be bad when consumed in excess but Lisa refused to accept this and claimed she was a nutritionist and thus she knew more than my sister and that she went to a post graduate school nearby so she was right. My little sister decided to say gently caress it and cut all contact with her.

I guess I am just emotionally numb right now... I don't really know what to say or do. A part of me wants to tell her to gently caress off with her bullshit but another side of me wants to behave with class because it's the right thing to do not for her but for me. How do I respond to someone like that the best way possible? She was already dancing on a thin line for me because of her past behavior towards our family but now she's crossed into utter shitville. I think it's pretty obvious she suffers from some type of mental illness. She absolutely puts herself before her children and appearances matter most to her. She has different men in her kids lives constantly and she has in the past abused hard drugs. She isn't a good person and I think the only reason why I have her on any type of social media is because I am really lazy and I rarely log on.

I'm sorry if this post was a mess. My nerves are still frayed from everything that has happened. Thank you.

tl;dr: Suffered a miscarriage my first pregnancy at ten weeks two days ago. It was very traumatic and terrible. My cousin has turned it into a pissing contest about her and who has suffered more pain and miscarriages (according to her 25 year old self she has had 18 miscarriages and 4 full term pregnancies). How do I tastefully tell this person to gently caress off?

Batting .182 on pregnancies hardly gets you into the minors.

# ? May 26, 2017 14:23

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Zack Parson's got her beat.

# ? May 26, 2017 14:47

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

ArbitraryC posted:

When there are certain stories that feature a woman being awful in very misogynistic fashions people will bend over backwards to say how its just fakeposts for mra subforums. In their defense, the stories are very unlikely "and then everyone stood up and clapped" kinda garbage. this was the same kinda thing so I just pointed it out.

e: here was my original post on the topic:

like my point was not that it's unfair to call other stories fake, just that this one came across as super fake. even the alleged dude's family united against him, it just didn't happen.

You're an idiot.

# ? May 26, 2017 14:49

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Grandmother of Five posted:

If I remember who Gatts is, then he has stalked some poor woman for over a decade, and had his arranged-marriage "sabotaged" somehow by the bride's family rescuing her. He's like a golem constructed out of parts of Lifetime movie villains.

Gatts posted:

Nah not really. I divorced her cause I was tired of being used like an ATM and having her family threaten us to extort more money. I built her a six bed house overseas, a Mercedes, 2000 a month shopping expenses, etc and was still told to buy the brother in law 500 dollar shoes for his birthday cause she was in love with him. Did all I could to make it work but welp.

lol this dude is more pathetic than most of the stories posted in this thread hahahahahahaha

# ? May 26, 2017 14:51

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

ArbitraryC posted:

it's kinda funny that when anyone suggests something is just redpill bate and not some woman being terrible it's accepted at facevalue but how dare I question a very unlikly story about a dude who did something so bad that even his family stood up and clapped when he got owned according to the author.

because you only seem to have this skepticism when it's women coming out on top.

have you never seen that in real life before?

No but seriously this is another rich person/poor person split. Middle class fuckerers do not expel fuckerers from their family because they know the family will protect their fuckery as well. Poor folks living on the margins have waaaayyy less time/energy to devote to protecting fuckerers and will stringently police their communities because individual family units are WAY less distinct than in a middle class family. Like with bougie turds you MIGHT have one or two children from a different marriage, but with the lower classes house-havers basically provide for every cousin who would otherwise be chilling in the back of a sedan.

granted this was back when we let poors have houses so gently caress what i know.

# ? May 26, 2017 14:52

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

WoodrowSkillson posted:

lol this dude is more pathetic than most of the stories posted in this thread hahahahahahaha

# ? May 26, 2017 15:13

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

We dun got Gatts'd-!

...

Does anyone know what those screenshots were supposed to prove?

# ? May 26, 2017 15:17

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Does anyone know what those screenshots were supposed to prove?

That he is a crazy person

# ? May 26, 2017 15:23

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

We dun got Gatts'd-!

...

Does anyone know what those screenshots were supposed to prove?

"women are ALSO bad. so that make men GOOD."

# ? May 26, 2017 15:27

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

*sees someone criticize males*
WHOA. whoa. slow the gently caress down. How can you say something is bad when women are ALSO bad? everything is bad, so say nothing. nnnnNNNOOOO don't say things to try to make it BETTER. only FLAWLESS people get to make things better, and thats not you nor i, so. stop. hush. silence now. silence forever.

*sees someone criticize females*
mmmh. this is good and normal, in my sight.

# ? May 26, 2017 15:31

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

This one slowly unfolds, I was sympathetic until the comments.

My brother (39/m) refuse to help me (35/m) out with our parents!

quote:

My brother went into technologies field when he was in the early 20s and end up working remotely a few years later. That is when he left USA.

Everybody tried to tell him not to do it and to stay in the USA and maybe travel once or twice a year to be smart with money. He doesn't listen.

Over time, against everybody advice, he starts to buy a condo or property in few places in Asia, Africa, and Europe when the price were very low. He tried to invite us to come over repeatedly. I went twice, once when I was in my early 20s and again a few years ago.

I was almost sickened by what I saw the last time I visited him. This area I visited him was on the coast. He lives in a lovely small adobe that I learned he bought for just $60,000! He also has a small sailboat. He works maybe 3-5 hours a day and spends most of the time scuba, spearfishing, fishing, windsurf, kiteboard, and sailing.

He then said that he would find an area he likes and then buy it for really low price. Then he'd come back whenever he want to. Let say, he decided he wants to go on a Safari; he can just go to his home in Africa to rest for a bit, pack his gears and get in his jeep and head off to do it. Or if he wants to go skiing, he can fly to his other place in Europe that have mainly snow equipment to pick it up and make a short trip to the skiing resort and ski there. He has pretty much said he is semi-retired.

Normally I'd be happy for him. But our parents haven't been doing well in last few years. Our mother is on disability, and our father got laid off some time ago. They lose their house because of it. They now are living in a tiny apartment.

I have been trying to help them as much as I could and even considers having them moving in to live with my family. I have asked my brother to help with our parents. His reply was they were never supportive of him and never wanted to visit him. He then brought up that I was their favorite, so I can help them out!

His attitude infuriate me! My brother has so many options to help. He could sell one of his places, not travel so much (he spend about $5000 a year on flight ticket!) to save more money, work more hours to bring in more money, and many other things.

Despite my wife and I both making decent money, we still have to trim as much expense as possible to make ends meet every month, taking care of our kids, and our needs and all that then hopefully have a bit to spend or save.

Now I feel like I have to take care of my parents as well because my brother simply doesn't want to because they never came to visit him!

Some of the family members had even stopped talking to him because of this. Some are even putting pressure on me to get him to help. I'm beyond pissed and hurt by all of this!

Tl;dr

My parents are in need of help. My brother who is living quite decently and barely work refused to help because they never came to visit him. Now I am stuck with trying to get him help and taking care of my parents!

quote:

At first, everybody was excited because when he grew up, he hated computer. But then he got into the technology field and end up working with computer.

It was when he leave that everybody got concerned. First place he visited was Croatia. Everybody was very worried and tried to get him to go somewhere else such as Berlin, Paris or London.

It didn't stopped there, he continue to go eastward and down to Africa into some seedy countries. That's why we all were extremely worried about him.

Then when we learned he bought a condo, we were worried he was getting scammed and that he won't be able to stay in the country or sell it down the road.

We were trying to get him to buy a place here first so he have a secure area to come back to.

Was I a golden child? Honestly I can't really answer that. I don't think I was the gold child. It is just the furthest I have ever lived from my parents were only six hours drive away. But most of my life, I have lived in the same city as them.

Then I got married and had kids.

Yet I was the only one to ever visited him. My parents refuse to visit. My father was in military and think lot of area are shady. My mom tend to follow my father and doesn't like to be out of her element or in the airplane for a long time. That's why they never visited him.

It is understandable if someone in his position see me as a golden child.

We are currently working on trying to get my parents as much help as possible. It is just extremely heartbreaking to see them selling their beloved home and having to move to area they don't want to live in and downsize massively.

I wish it was possible to help them make their life easier. My brother definitely can do it if he want to. But yet he held so much grudge because they were never supportive of him when he left USA and then never visit him.

Yet he refuse to see why they were like that.

quote:

My father was in the military. He had been to few countries and doesn't like any of it. Then my brother head off to some countries that the government warned American to not visit.

Plus my brother seems to have incredibly poor judgement. He always ignore any warning, have met some shady people, was in some very dangerous area and even war zone.

He always say the scariest moment was when he was in a city next to one that a terrorist took over. But he didn't even leave and end up talk to someone from the terrorist group!

This led us to not trust his judgement.

My mother also really hate to fly, especially long flight and she doesn't like to be out of her element at all.

Combining all of this is the reason why they never visit him.

I only visited him when he was in Mediterranean and a heavily touristy city in Southeast Asia.

# ? May 26, 2017 15:34

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Those juicy screenies prove that there is a girl thread for girls only. Seems unfair and a little misandrist to me.

# ? May 26, 2017 15:35

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

WoodrowSkillson posted:

Hey yo, thanks for spreading my Greta Garbo joke around the forums, but you are unfunny af and a dumb idiot so please keep my name out ya mouth and instead put my cock in it

It was a pretty good joke

# ? May 26, 2017 15:38

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

This one slowly unfolds, I was sympathetic until the comments.

My brother (39/m) refuse to help me (35/m) out with our parents!

What is going on with this writing here. Its like someone tried to glue a story back together from the document shedder pieces.

# ? May 26, 2017 15:38

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

This one slowly unfolds, I was sympathetic until the comments.

My brother (39/m) refuse to help me (35/m) out with our parents!

that was hard to read, his grammar is hosed

# ? May 26, 2017 15:39

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Surely if bro sells his $60k condo and repatriates the money his racist parents will be set for life

# ? May 26, 2017 15:40

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Barudak posted:

What is going on with this writing here. Its like someone tried to glue a story back together from the document shedder pieces.

Yeah I dunno but like, basically as a kid the brother moved out of the country and has an awesome life with a condo on every continent, and now his parents who refused to ever visit and spent the last 20 years acting like he needed to "grow up" suddenly need money, he's the bad guy for saying no.

# ? May 26, 2017 15:41

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Sounds like the brother is living an interesting and fun life and doesn't care much for the parents he hasn't seen in over a decade and who have continuously second-guessed all of his choices, surprise-surprise, and the post is just leaking with resentment that this brother enjoys living standards that would be impossible to have if he lived in the US.

# ? May 26, 2017 15:41

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Blue Train posted:

that was hard to read, his grammar is hosed

It reads like an ESL student who was taught words but not grammar. Only it seems like they're American-born?

# ? May 26, 2017 15:57

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Avenging_Mikon posted:

It reads like an ESL student who was taught words but not grammar. Only it seems like they're American-born?

Yea that's the way I read it and that his father was in the military so presumably also us born? I dunno what's going on

# ? May 26, 2017 16:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I think they're from an alternate earth where the Nacirema refer to their country as the USA and have alternate grammar rules.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:03

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Avenging_Mikon posted:

It reads like an ESL student who was taught words but not grammar. Only it seems like they're American-born?

Yeah honestly my mind kind of glossed over that the first time, you're right though. Bizarre.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:03

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

We dun got Gatts'd-!

...

Does anyone know what those screenshots were supposed to prove?

that he knows how to use his screenshot button

# ? May 26, 2017 16:17

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

WoodrowSkillson posted:

lol this dude is more pathetic than most of the stories posted in this thread hahahahahahaha

He's also insanely obsessed with a bartender he thinks is in love with him and was talking about moving across country to follow her when she moved lol

# ? May 26, 2017 16:25

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

You don't have to be a us citizen to join the military, just a green card holder.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:29

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

ArbC I am sorry if I was unclear, I was not requesting you shut up about stdh stories where women are the protagonists, idiot, I am telling you to shut up always, in every context, you god drat idiot.

Me [20sF] with my roommate [20sF] and her illegal "pet"... causing issues.

quote:

Hi! Throwaway account because I don't want to confront this issue with my roommate until I know exactly what to say.

I currently live in a three-bedroom apartment, which I share with two roommates (we're all 20sF) I found online. Our live-in relationship together has been difficult, to say the least, and I am mostly just biding my time until my lease is over and I can move out (unfortunately, I cannot afford to break the lease).

One roommate (who I will call Mildred) has caused the most trouble, be it through just overtly passive aggressive battle tactics, physically manhandling my pet rabbit (resulting in a $300 vet bill which she did not pay a cent of), or throwing parties without giving me a lick of notice.

I have a rabbit. She has two cats. Our third roommate has a dog. She (Mildred) is not great at feeding her cats, and they are rather food-aggressive as a result - they've frequently started fights with our third roommate's dog in order to get to his food. I'm an animal lover, but I really do feel like our apartment has reached its limit on new animal pals.

Unfortunately, it does not seem as if Mildred feels the same way. She has recently ordered a pet Giant African Land Snail off of the internet. I don't actually know how she got it here (they're illegal in the United States! How did it get through customs?!), but she managed to get it here. I didn't actually know about it for the first few months - we work on opposite schedules, I can often go weeks at a time without seeing her... but last week, it just appeared in our living room.

Mildred has decided that her snail takes up too much space in her room, and has instead moved its tank to the living room. She did this without consulting me and asking if this was okay, which I think is a sign of blatant disrespect. I don't want a snail living in my living room, and I would've appreciated it if I had been asked about it.

There's the added issue of the fact that it's an illegal animal. My boyfriend is getting his master's in ecology/biology, with a focus on invasive species, so you can imagine how thrilled he is about this invasive, illegal, snail staring at us while we try and watch Netflix.

He has also voiced concerns about the fact that snails often carry parasites (such as ones that can cause meningitis) and is worried that one of the furry friends in the house may catch one of the parasites, and pass it around (one of her cats likes to sleep in my bed).

He doesn't want to hang out at my place anymore, and has offered his home as a safe refuge for the bunny until my lease runs out in April (regardless, I think I'm going to take him up on this, because, as I said before, Mildred is not gentle with my poor bunny, and will take him out of his pen without my permission when I'm not home)... but there's also the layer of Mildred being an awful pet owner in general, so I know she's not going to take care of this snail, and eventually there will be a disgusting, stinky tank in my living room.

What can I do about my situation? How do I approach this without making my living situation unbearably uncomfortable for the next five months?

Part of me is just hoping that one of her cats eats it out of starvation, but I realize this isn't the best long-term solution.

Blue Train posted:

Yea that's the way I read it and that his father was in the military so presumably also us born? I dunno what's going on

whole military family save the black sheep is mortally terrified of leaving their lovely little town and the OP's barely literate, the smart one got prospects and ran as far away as possible and is never coming back, welcome to Real America

# ? May 26, 2017 16:31

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

ArbC I am sorry if I was unclear, I was not requesting you shut up about stdh stories where women are the protagonists, idiot, I am telling you to shut up always, in every context, you god drat idiot.

Hey bro, you are an unpleasant as poo poo and I genuinely believe you only post in this thread to be an rear end in a top hat to people, both in the stories and in the thread. You should try posting about the stories and not being the self appointed thread cop, which is something you seem to enjoy doing lmao.

Also the way people freak out over differing viewpoints is very much a thing, how the gently caress do people start getting so livid if someone disagrees with them?

Seriously gently caress off.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:40

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

Me [20sF] with my roommate [20sF] and her illegal "pet"... causing issues.

I love the ones where the person complaining reveals themselves to be the insufferable jerk.

It's like watching Frasier.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:46

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

tactlessbastard posted:

I love the ones where the person complaining reveals themselves to be the insufferable jerk.

It's like watching Frasier.

I think the bad pet owner who imposes more neglected pets on her roommates without so much as asking is the bad one.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:52

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

snail girl def sounds the nuttiest but between the three of them they've managed to pack their little apartment share with a rapidly expanding Dr. Doolittle menagerie of animals

# ? May 26, 2017 16:56

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I (34F) feel as if I am going crazy in a house I now suspect might be haunted(?). Husband (32M) is not validating my feelings and is saying hurtful things. Don't know where to go, struggling with depression, horrific dreams/hallicunations.

Wonder if anyone suggested they get the place checked for carbon monoxide issues. The time loss and hallucinations make me lean that way.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:56

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I think the bad pet owner who imposes more neglected pets on her roommates without so much as asking is the bad one.

Ok, an insufferable jerk.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:58

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 13 days!

The syntax of that one thread sounds a lot like a person who is deaf or hard of hearing. I know a few other deaf people that write and even speak like that, because they're so used to ASL's syntax.

# ? May 26, 2017 16:59

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

So confused. Woman [early-20s?] on the subway got the joke on my [28M] shirt and talked to me (and maybe was hitting on me). Do I talk to her or maybe ask for her number if I see her again?

quote:

I'll start out by saying that I [28M] am completely clueless when it comes to women. I've never gone on a date before or even kissed or held hands with a woman before (not counting kisses from my mom, aunts and grandmas). I get so nervous and anxious when I see a girl that I might like and my heart starts racing and I can't even talk or think of what to say. I get confused and feel pathetic. I'm what you would call a nerd. I like video games, comic books and science fiction stuff. I'm an engineer. I can barely talk to women I work without getting nervous. My friends are all nerds too but I am the biggest nerd out of all of them because they can talk to women and have had girlfriends and stuff.

On Thursday I was taking the subway to work. I had on a shirt that my mom got me that had a science joke on it, because my mom doesn't exactly understand what I do and just thought it would suit me because it is about science. The front of the shirt says 'If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA Helicase' and the back says 'so I could unzip your genes'. I was sitting near the doors. A woman walked by me towards the doors and she looked and me and laughed a little. I swear I thought she was laughing at me because woman have done that lots before. But then she said to me you can unzip my genes anytime and she winked at me and got off the subway. It took me a minute to figure out what she meant and that she was talking about my shirt. I was wearing a coat and sitting down so she couldn't have seen the back of my shirt to read the rest of the joke. She must have heard it before or knew what it meant.

This happened on Thursday and I can't stop thinking about it. She was pretty and she winked at me. I am confused. I don't know if she was just being nice. I sometimes think she was flirting with me but I have never had a woman talk to me like she did before. I didn't have to work on Friday so I didn't see her but if I see her next week I don't know what I should do. I think about talking to her but then I get nervous. I don't want to creep her out or be weird if she was just being nice. I know women like when guys make the first move so maybe I should ask for her phone number or something? I don't know. I can't stop thinking about this or why a woman like her would talk to me. I have good hygiene and I am not disfigured or anything like that (not that there is anything bad about disfigured people) but I am not buff or handsome and I definitely look like a nerd. I need advice about what to do here but I don't want to be weird or like those pick up guys who annoy and creep out women.

tl;dr A woman on the subway got the science joke on my shirt and winked at me. I am a nerd who has never gone on a date or kissed a woman before. I get so nervous around women and I don't know if I should talk to her again or if she was just being nice and I don't want to creep her out.

# ? May 26, 2017 17:02

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Does anyone know what those screenshots were supposed to prove?

That we tolerate the presence of people who want to kill all men. That is genocide and it is very serious business, against all the laws.

# ? May 26, 2017 17:06

Maggie Fletcher: Jul 19, 2009; Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

That "I hate my brother's overseas lifestyle" guy has really atrocious English if he's American, which it sounds like he is.

I'm not gonna go all r/childfree here or anything, but it baffles me that people who can barely afford kids have them and then complain about money while their non-parent family members spend their money on other things. Like sure, maybe the brother could throw some cash at his parents, or sell a property, but also maybe the American brother can invest in some birth control? I get that kids are expensive, but it doesn't sound like anyone was forced to have them. I feel kinda bad saying that, because I'm not advocating taking food out of the kids' mouths or anything, but it irks me when parents get all up in arms about how childless people spend their own money, especially if that person specifically didn't have kids so they could have a different kind of lifestyle.

# ? May 26, 2017 17:07

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

this person has no idea how telling a story works, or maybe communication in general

I [15M] need adult advice. My girlfriend [16F] bit down hard on my abbs last night and she claimed it's hers.

quote:

Hello. I'm a first time Reddit user, and I would like some advice. Please if you have any questions that you think are important, ask me.

I want to say 8 months ago my parents finalized their divorce. My mother originally comes from an small town. My older sister is currently at college studying to become a engineer. I'm very much looking forward to her visiting over the summer. My mother I packed up with it just being the two of us, and we moved back to her home town. it's a very small town. There's one of everything in this place. I soon got a job working at the local book store, and in this store there's a place customers can buy coffee and talk.

I soon noticed this girl who caught my attention. She takes a lot of inspiration for her look from goth chicks. She herself is essentially goth. Now please don't take this as me attacking goth people. I've never interacted with one apart from my GF. She has long blue hair, very pale and skinny, and is always wearing black nail polish, lip stick and clothes, Her appearance will become relevant in a moment. She took inspiration for her look from a picture she found online.

I work out a lot and I have a really nice body. I play football and I want to be involved in fitness one day for my career. My mom has gone away for her work. So me seeing the opportunity I invited my GF over. I had my shirt off in bed as we were watching Geordie Shore I think. I don't even know man, it was on MTV is all I know.

she's starting to kiss my chest/abbs. I'm thinking alright boys, getting lucky tonight. She bit down hard on my abbs. I'm not talking about a little nibble. Hard enough to slightly pierce the skin. I shoved her off, and I yelled what the gently caress her problem was. She told me that they're hers and making sure I know it.

tl;dr: What do I do about my GF?

# ? May 26, 2017 17:09

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

She has recently ordered a pet Giant African Land Snail off of the internet. I don't actually know how she got it here (they're illegal in the United States! How did it get through customs?!), but she managed to get it here.

she bought the snail on the dark web

# ? May 26, 2017 17:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 19:05

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

dudeness posted:

�I swear I thought she was laughing at me because woman have done that lots before.

That def deserves to be bold

# ? May 26, 2017 17:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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