- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Well he an Mel Gibson can enjoy going to church together I guess.
I bet all that will come of this is hell stay expelled and hell become a Sedevacantist.
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Jun 7, 2017 17:24
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 22:48
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- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
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by Fluffdaddy
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Lol on the third poster he copy pasted some municipal code saying the poster is private property and removing it would subject you to a $1,500 fine.
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Jun 7, 2017 17:28
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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The posters could have started a discussion? Of what how icky the gays are?
can they be cured via exorcism and gelding, or should we skip directly to burning at the stake?
Lab partner tried to commit suicide because of a prank please help
quote:Pennsylvania
I'm a freshman at a State school. I made a bunch of new friends from my dorm and we happen to have some classes together. I got paired up with a lab partner I'll call Paul. Paul isn't a bad guy, but he's awkward and shy and doesn't really take care of himself. I think his home life is all messed up and he doesn't have a lot of friends. My friends and I thought it would be fun to prank him and make him think we wanted him to hang out with us. I realize now this was a terrible thing to do. So anyway I gave him my number and told him to text me if he wanted to hang. He came over to our rooms a few times to chill and then we invited him to a party last Friday, thinking there was no way he would actually show up. Well he did show up and it was just a disaster. He got totally drunk and made a complete fool of himself. I told him that he had to leave and also told him not to text me anymore because the whole thing about being his friend was just a joke.
The next day (Saturday) he texted me. The police took my phone so I don't know exactly what we said but it was something like this:
Paul: I had to go home for the weekend. I can't believe what you did to me, that was so mean
Me: I'm sorry I said I was sorry
Paul: It's never going to get any better I might as well just end up
Me: You're probably right it never will
Paul: You're never going to see me again, goodbye.
I tried to call him right then to tell him not to do anything stupid but his phone was turned off.
Monday morning the police show up and take me out of class. They said Paul was in the hospital because he tried to kill himself with some pills and they found his phone. I tried to explain it was just a joke and I was sorry. They let me go but said they would probably want to talk to me again.
So my question reddit is what should I say to the police? It’s right there in my call history that I called him so obviously I didn’t really want him to kill himself. I’m just really scared and my parents want to know what’s going on and I don’t know what to tell them. quote:It was poor judgement I admit
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Jun 7, 2017 17:42
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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Lab partner tried to commit suicide because of a prank please help
quote:I told him that he had to leave and also told him not to text me anymore because the whole thing about being his friend was just a joke.
now that's what i call comedy
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Jun 7, 2017 17:44
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- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
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by Fluffdaddy
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quote:Paul: It's never going to get any better I might as well just end up
Me: You're probably right it never will
gently caress this guy.
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Jun 7, 2017 17:45
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- SpaceClown
- Feb 13, 2016
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by FactsAreUseless
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someone oughtta make that prankster a mod of these here comedy forums! whoo hee what a knee slapper!
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Jun 7, 2017 17:46
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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quote:
I told him that he had to leave and also told him not to text me anymore because the whole thing about being his friend was just a joke.
quote:
Paul: It's never going to get any better I might as well just end up
Me: You're probably right it never will
hoooooly loving poo poo
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Jun 7, 2017 17:47
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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someone oughtta make that prankster a mod of these here comedy forums! whoo hee what a knee slapper!
no, this guy:
17 year old nephew charged with assault and theft over $5000. Is also being sued in civil court.
quote:To everyone who reads this: I know my nephew did something horrible and is a massive [insert expletive of your choice here]. I’m NOT defending or condoning his actions. I agree wholeheartedly that he needs to be punished and I am not seeking to stop that from happening. I’m simply here to ask what the possible outcomes of his case could be.
My nephew just turned 17. He has been charged with one count of assault and one count of theft over $5000. It stems from an incident that happened at school. Him and 2 of his friends had the “brilliant” idea to play a prank and steal a classmates prosthetic leg. They ambushed her and took her leg. Again please see my disclaimer above…not defending him…think he’s a jerk…just here to ask legal questions. They proceeded to take dumb pictures with their phones (example: one foot in the grave) and to make some stupid internet memes. He says they were going to return the leg. Meanwhile the girl whose leg they took was understandably crying and freaking out and she called the police. The police tracked down my nephew and his friends and arrested them. All three of them have been charged as above. He’s out on bail with strict conditions. The Crown prosecutor refuses to offer them any kind of deal or plea bargain and has stated that the Crown will seek an adult sentence if they are convicted. Both of the offences are indictable under the Criminal Code. None of them have criminal records or have been arrested or in trouble before. My nephew has always been a prankster/jokester but he has never done anything this stupid or wrong. The Crown has surveillance footage from the school cameras, the dumb pictures they took and a text conversation where the three of them talked about doing it. There has also been a lawsuit filed for the assault, emotional damage and the cost of the damage that was done to the leg.
My brother and his wife can’t afford a lawyer for the lawsuit, for criminal court my nephew has a court appointed attorney but that doesn’t happen in civil court. The parents of the other 2 boys also cannot afford a lawyer either according to my brother. His court appointed lawyer is swamped and is very hard to reach. My questions are 1) I know he is likely to be convicted, but if he is sentenced as an adult, what is the likely penalty vs. if he was sentenced as a youth? 2) What are the chances he will be sentenced as an adult? 3) Is there any way they can get legal aid for the civil case like in criminal court? They live in Ontario. quote:The Crown has mentioned aggravating factors:
1) All 3 of them are over 6 feet tall. She was 5'2 and they tackled her to the ground and held her down while they took her leg.
2) That they ran away right after to go play with the leg and left her crying and bleeding on the floor. She needed stitches and was bruised.
3) That although they say they were going to return the leg, when they found out the police were coming they ditched the leg and caused $3000 damage to it meaning she had to use crutches to be mobile for a week while it was repaired (and which her parents had to get a loan for)
I have a feeling these aggravating factors are going to make things much, much worse for them.
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Jun 7, 2017 17:47
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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can they be cured via exorcism and gelding, or should we skip directly to burning at the stake?
Lab partner tried to commit suicide because of a prank please help
loving hell
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Jun 7, 2017 17:48
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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We are reaching the point we're we will get a post about a guy beating a guy with a pipe while yelling it's a prank!
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Jun 7, 2017 17:48
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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it's really impressive how unsympathetic he comes off in his own account.
anyway, here's a post where a woman is upset that her husband doesn't switch from his established, well-paying career to making videogames
quote:I [F31] have been with [M28] for about five years, and we've been married for one year.
Shortly after our wedding, his two years contract in an advertising agency ended. This was planned, and I was okay with it. He was supposed to take some time off and look for a new job.
For eight months, he didn't apply once. He seemed depressed, and I tried my best to cheer him up. We worked on his resume together, and I helped him apply to jobs. Because he seemed reluctant in finding a new job in advertising, I suggested he went back to school for a short course in communication to work for a video games company. He loves video games, and he told me about working in brand/communication before. I even offered to pay for the course.
About two months ago, while I was traveling for work, he told me he had decided on a new career. At first, I was happy thinking he finally decided to take the course we had discussed. I was very surprised to learn he now wants to become a florist. I suggested he sees a career counselor as I'm worried depression might influence his decision. He refused, telling me he is sure about his choice. I'm afraid that he is running away from his current career because of depression as he never mentioned becoming a florist before.
At the moment, he does seem excited about this, and I'm glad for him. I love him and want him to be happy. He should follow his dream if that's what he truly wants to do.
However, this new path he wants to take changes the life we had previously imagined together. It means a lower income for him, working long hours, weekends and holidays. I'm also worried that we'll grow apart, with very different careers and lifestyles.
We discussed this, and he doesn't seem to understand my fears.
He also mentioned, for the very first time, that he grew up with a model where his mother was taking care of the family while his father earned money and our current situation makes him uncomfortable. It came out of nowhere, and he didn't tell me this is what he wanted but still. In our current situation, he already refuses to go out or buy something when he doesn't have the money, even when I offer to pay for both of us. It worries me.
Now, I am the one who's depressed. I felt so close to the life I always dreamed, and now it's looking farther and farther away. I love my husband, I just don't know if I'm ready to abandon a life I've been fighting for.
I feel terrible because I'm thinking about our financial situation. We have a good life right now because my pay is comfortable, but I always thought that at some point, he'd have a similar income so we could buy a nice house together, have kids... There is no way he could reach that kind of salary with this new career.
What do you think I should do? Should I wait for him to try this new career (it'd take at least one year of school and internships) to see if it makes him happy? Should I just abandon the idea of us having similar incomes?
Thank you
TL;DR: Husband suddenly decided on a significant career change that compromises the life we had planned together.
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Jun 7, 2017 17:49
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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no, this guy:
17 year old nephew charged with assault and theft over $5000. Is also being sued in civil court.
.................
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Jun 7, 2017 17:49
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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the epic beating up cripples meme
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Jun 7, 2017 17:51
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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the epic beating up cripples meme
imagine how many likes those prosthetic leg shots are gonna get on instagram, tho
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Jun 7, 2017 17:54
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Okay, there's one thing you need to hear that "normal" people aren't likely to ever tell you. You know, the ones who had a happy childhood, free from abuse.
It's this: it is perfectly okay to shut your parents out of your life when they're abusive fuckstains.
Ignore all that loving Hallmark bullshit about how you just MUST reconcile with them or you will always regret it.
Live your life without them in it and you will be a far happier person.
Dude was programming her to be his eternally servile punching bag every day of her life from the day she was born and that's not an easy thing to break out of, even when you intellectually know what the score is like she does
*physically assaults and probably causes psychological harm to a disabled teenager*
Relax man it's just a prank!!
quote:She needed stitches just under jawline and on her arm from the injuries she got when being tackled.
prank, bro
A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Jun 7, 2017
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Jun 7, 2017 18:03
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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If a person prank calls 911 while they are high and someone else in their town calls 911 around the same time but it's busy and they can't get through and they die and the cops know he called, could the person who did the prank call get charged and go to jail and if so with what? (California)
there's no rest of the post, that's it.
Also prank calling 911 is a crime, yes.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:03
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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If someone tries to stop you, just say you have a gun. (self.Shoplifting)
A completely infallable plan with no possible drawbacks!
Bonus: Same OP
gently caress!
I love the comments on r/legaladvice
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Jun 7, 2017 18:14
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- sephiRoth IRA
- Jun 13, 2007
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"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."
-Carl Sagan
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Here's a lovely ex-coworker for you
quote:
My [29F] former coworker [50F] left a position that I just got promoted to. She is now asking that I step down so she can have it back when she comes back in October.
u/woolybooly23
So this may be a bit complicated and for that, I apologize. Please let me know if there is anything that's unclear. Just as a preface, I work for a state-run organization. Our budget (and our salaries) are all set and approved by the state.
"Sally" and I started at our company roughly around the same time in similar positions, but at different levels (think the difference between an Admin Asst and an Executive Asst). The company is full of people Sally's age and I am one of the youngest ones here. We became good work friends, to the extent that we enjoyed each other's company, would go out to lunch together, etc. It was never anything outside of the company, so I wouldn't say that we were super close.
Last October, Sally left the company. Her husband got a job in another state so they moved. I am technically the fill-in for Sally's position. Whenever Sally was out of the office for any reason, I would be asked to cover the phones and handle visitors, etc. So I filled in for five weeks, while they found a new employee. That person was in the position for three months and then left.
So, in January, I was asked to fill-in again. We got about halfway through the hiring process before we found out that we were being placed on a hiring freeze until Aug 31. All future hires were to cease immediately. I was told that they would try to get an exception for this position, but it could be until September before I was allowed to move back. The exception didn't come through and I have been working two jobs since January.
Recently, my temporary boss asked me how I would feel about taking over the position permanently. It is technically a promotion because I'd be working for the department head as opposed to one of the managers. He offered me a significant pay bump with it as well. I agreed. Still waiting on approval for the move and the "official" start date. It could be as early as July, but would definitely start in September when we were no longer under a hiring freeze. I could definitely use a pay increase right now. It would definitely help out with some expenses.
Sally was aware that I was filling in for the role because she's kept in touch with people in the office and we would text on occasion. I told her that I was offered the role permanently and she offered her congratulations at the time. However, that has apparently since changed, because yesterday she sent me a text message asking me if I would consider moving back to my old position in October because she was apparently moving back and wanted her old job back. If I agreed to this, I would technically be taking a demotion and a paycut on the salary I was promised for moving into the new role.
Now, I was very diplomatic when I told Sally no, but she kept pressing the issue and even thought about taking this to my new boss to see if he would agree to it. So now I'm just upset and don't know what to do. Do I preempt this conversation by going to my boss first? Do I wait until he asks me about it? I'm not even really sure how he would respond to a request like this. I'd like to believe he'd tell her to go pound sand because she left, but she was also one of his best employees and she was much beloved by everyone. I just feel like I'm the young girl who got this position only because I didn't do a terrible job in the interim and it saves him the trouble of having to find someone else.
Additionally, I am unsure about what to do about Sally. Part of me wants to go off on her because who does that? Who asks someone to take a demotion and a pay cut so they can have a job they left a year ago? The other part of me just thinks she's misguided and should just not make a big deal about it when I stop responding to her. Mostly right now, I'm just worried about my job.
tl;dr - a former coworker is asking me to take a demotion and a pay cut so that she can have the job she left a year ago back.
"Hey Sally: get hosed." There, I wrote the email for you.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:24
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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I hope the prosthetic leg girl's family hire someone to take a leg from each of those boys once they go to prison.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:35
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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Here's a lovely ex-coworker for you
"Hey Sally: get hosed." There, I wrote the email for you.
Sally, you'll never be an assistant Taco Bell shift-lead in this town again. You had your time in the sun, bitch.
Seriously, though, if OP is the youngest employee at a place full of crotchety lifers, telling Sally to sit and spin might actually be a poor career move. In fact, since this "promotion" is still in the works, Sally might just be asking OP nicely for something she's getting regardless, to try and save OP some face. Gonna be funny when the update is Sally got her position back and OP gets fired/double demoted for complaining about it afterwards.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:41
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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I hope the prosthetic leg girl's family hire someone to take a leg from each of those boys once they go to prison.
I hope incredibly polite Canadian prison handles it themselves once they hear about what those dudes are in for
all Jimmy the Fink spiking their maple syrup rations with Aunt Jemima until they hang themselves with their sheets in their cell
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Jun 7, 2017 18:43
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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I hope incredibly polite Canadian prison handles it themselves once they hear about what those dudes are in for
all Jimmy the Fink spiking their maple syrup rations with Aunt Jemima until they hang themselves with their sheets in their cell
This is a beautiful image.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:45
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- new phone who dis
- May 24, 2007
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by VideoGames
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Morbid Hound
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no, this guy:
17 year old nephew charged with assault and theft over $5000. Is also being sued in civil court.
If this was my kid or sister or whatever I would end up in jail long before these fuckers.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:48
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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How did you reach that conclusion after reading all that? His contract ended, he didn't look for work for eight months, she suggested the video game thing because it didn't seem like he wanted to do the advertising thing, and now he says he wants to be a florist.
E: You even bolded some of those parts.
every concern she had about her husband becoming a florist (poor pay, long hours, etc) also applied to the video game career she suggested
the overall situation is sad, but that part was funny, to me
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Jun 7, 2017 18:56
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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If this was my kid or sister or whatever I would end up in jail long before these fuckers.
Seriously.
I think if it was my kid that beat up a disabled girl and took her leg I would get arrested for the beating I gave him.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:56
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- sephiRoth IRA
- Jun 13, 2007
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"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."
-Carl Sagan
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The title buries the lede a bit... Also I feel like we've seen this one before but it's new?
quote:
Girlfriend (27f) called me (27m) by co-worker’s name, I’m hurt and pissed, she swears it was nothing but I don’t know how to feel about it, overreaction on my part or not? Dating 2.5 years
u/notherguysnamee
Last night my girlfriend and I were having sex when she moaned out the name of a co-worker of hers. The sex pretty much ended there and she was crying and swearing there was nothing to worry about and that it was a mistake and she didn’t mean to moan his name. I replied that the only mistake she feels she made is saying the name of the guy she was really thinking about last night. I’ve been sour all morning and she’s been apologizing constantly and swearing there’s nothing to worry about.
This is a guy who started at her company about 4 months ago and she’s mentioned him a few times as having tagged along on a couple Friday evening post work week drinking sessions. They’ve added each other online and had a couple conversations but that was it and she doesn’t message him on her phone afaik. This is stressing me out and that’s not even getting into the humiliating, disgusting feeling from hearing an SO moan out another man’s name.
Am I overreacting? Should I be suspicious?
Tl;Dr Gf moaned out another guy’s name in bed last night, swears nothing is going on and I don’t need to be worried about her co-worker
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Jun 7, 2017 18:57
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- new phone who dis
- May 24, 2007
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by VideoGames
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Morbid Hound
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Seriously.
I think if it was my kid that beat up a disabled girl and took her leg I would get arrested for the beating I gave him.
I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt for being idiot children until I heard they left her bleeding and needing stitches. Then I was ready to kill them.
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Jun 7, 2017 18:58
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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The title buries the lede a bit... Also I feel like we've seen this one before but it's new?
Its the same thing every time, so it feels like a repeat buts its actually slightly different. Its like taking water samples except for unhappy people.
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Jun 7, 2017 19:02
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- new phone who dis
- May 24, 2007
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by VideoGames
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Morbid Hound
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She's banging him and you should never call out names during sex in order to avoid this situation
Just call everyone you gently caress "baby" or "babe".
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Jun 7, 2017 19:04
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Just call out your own name during sex. No reason to get that one wrong
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Jun 7, 2017 19:07
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 22:48
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Just call out your own name during sex. No reason to get that one wrong
Masturbation is sex with somebody I love.
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Jun 7, 2017 19:09
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Jun 7, 2017 17:24
That's the good poo poo right there
