/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

why do some girls like to get hosed in teh butt?

I get why guys like it but girls it is a mystery to me

# ? Jun 29, 2017 13:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 21:23

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

Fartbox posted:

why do some girls like to get hosed in teh butt?

I get why guys like it but girls it is a mystery to me

Don't know about all of them, but your mum tells me it helps her poo poo.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 13:04

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Fartbox posted:

why do some girls like to get hosed in teh butt?

I get why guys like it but girls it is a mystery to me

It can stimulate your naughty bits well/better depending on your particular lady flower layout and angle of attack. Like, I guess some chicks can kinda have a fun buzzer area in the back that's kinda like a vestigial prostate, and there's always the "fullness," and "taboo," angles as well as this:
https://youtu.be/bv1gnug6HJ0

I have a friend who prefers it in her pooper. :shrug:

# ? Jun 29, 2017 14:04

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pvt.Scott posted:

I have a friend who prefers it in her pooper.

send her my way

# ? Jun 29, 2017 14:44

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

BUT THE CHEMICALS!

(Miralax is so safe and effectice doctors recommend it for small toddlers.)

# ? Jun 29, 2017 14:53

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Fartbox posted:

why do some girls like to get hosed in teh butt?

I get why guys like it but girls it is a mystery to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjjh9PML8tE

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:17

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My (31M) sister (38F) is sheltering her kid (17M) to extreme levels, the kid has asked me to intervene.

quote:

So I moved in with my girlfriend to Philly 3 years ago and my sister moved here a year ago with her kid after she got divorced. Her kid, Aaron, is a sweet funny kid. He is handsome, smart, charming, basically everything good about a 17 year old kid at the prime of his life...
But my sister shelters him to the point of extremeness. I often am at their house and I see Aaron all the time and he sort of looks up to me as the cool uncle. Basically, my sister makes sure he doesn't have any resemblance of a social life. He can't leave past a certain block radius of the house, he can't talk to girls, his mom checks his phone like twice a week for suspicious texts. He can't work a job because she thinks hes too immature for it or she doesn't trust him with it or something. He wanted to go to a college in north philly but she told him she would refuse to pay because the school is too 'ghetto'. The absolute worst part is that when he has friends over she insists that she... just kind of sits there and hangs out with them. I know it is because she can't stand the idea of him having conversations that aren't 'approved' by her. He tells me this stuff and I feel so, so bad for him. I know his friends and they like to go out and hang out like any 17 year old kid would do, but he literally has to be home for dinner at 6 every night and then after be home at 9:30 so he can't do anything with them. He has complained to me about this maybe a hundred times about how unfair it is, and it sucks even worse because he loves hearing stories about the crazy fun poo poo I did as a kid and it just makes him feel worse in the end.

I honestly think she is being extremely unfair to him, or she just doesn't know at what point to ease up on him. These 'laws' have been there since he was 13, they should change by the time he's 17. She even has a god drat breathalyzer.

It hit a bad point when he apparently had a girl over 2 days ago and the mother walked in on them kissing and she flipped a poo poo. Now... at 17, kissing a girl is totally 100% normal. He is extremely noticeably good looking and fit, I am sure the girls cant get enough of him, but he cant hang out with girls like that because he has to be home right away. I told her she was over reacting and she started going off on me about STD's and how she doesn't wanna pay for his kid if she gets pregnant. She called the girls mother angrily and told the mother, and apparently the mother told my sister that it was fine if they wanted to kiss and my sister was SHOCKED that ANY PARENT would allow such a thing. It seems as if she gets her parenting advice from loving Nancy Grace. I should note that me and my sister grew up separately with divorced parents.

The worst part is that he has little to no social life. He has like 3 friends at school and he can't really do anything fun with them. He has resorted to playing video games day and night, and his mother flips a poo poo on him for being addicted to those. But what the gently caress else is he supposed to do... He gets perfect grades, he works out (to my sisters dismay). She has this little thing on his phone that beeps if he goes too far, who the gently caress has that for a 17 year old boy?? When I was that age I was doing road trips from nyc to boston every month with tons of beers and girls and everything, and I'm sure he wants that too, but he can't because his mother is loving insane. Not saying he should become some party animal like I was, but let the kid go loose a tiny bit for crying out loud.

So basically at this point, he has been begging me for weeks now to say something to her about this. She listens to my advice, not sure why but she really does. I have briefly said things, but nothing direct or serious. I do feel strongly about this, hes going to be living in that household for his college years too because hes going local. It kind of hit a bad point when I witnessed her flip a poo poo on him for kissing the girl and he was looking at me like "please say something about this" and I didn't say anything really. What do I do Reddit? How do I go about passing this message in a way that opens her eyes in how she is hurting her son? I honestly feel as if if he was to rebel and just do what he wants for a bit and go to a party, she probably would eventually give in (she wouldn't ever kick him out), but I obviously don't want to RECOMMEND that to him lol.

EDIT: I should also point out that he DOES have a good relationship with her. This might sound weird but they get along very well, they watch TV and movies together and laugh and all that. She is extremely helicopter parenty and he despises that, but besides that he does not resent her, he just wants her to stop being crazy about this. He didn't even care about the over protectiveness until about 4 months ago when I guess his friends started going to more parties and such. So its not as if this is a long term issue, for most of his early HS years he just played video games all day so the crazy restrictive rules didn't even apply cause he never went out. So now that he is trying to go out more and be with his friends, the rules are coming into play more and more and stressing both of them out. I just need her to understand that these rules are for a 13 year old kid, not a 17 year old kid. I think she will understand... but I still don't really know what to do.

tl;dr: sister is sheltering her son to extreme levels, doesn't let him kiss girls or hang out with friends, is brutally strict with him. Son asked me to intervene.

But wait! There's more!

[UPDATE] My (31M) sister (38F) is sheltering her kid (17M) to extreme levels, the kid has asked me to intervene.

quote:

Okay so I talked to his mother about it and basically sat her down and asked her why she was being so protective over Aaron. She at first laughed it off, saying that I was just raised as a party animal so I have no idea how kids are supposed to be. I told her, in a very serious tone, that this isn't a joke, he is more sheltered than basically anyone his age and that he told me it was a massive detriment to his life. She got very serious after that and asked me what I meant, and I just told her all the stuff you guys told me to say about him being upset about her and how he has to stay here for four more years. She didn't get mad surprisingly, but she corrected me on a lot of stuff.

So she said it turns out aaron sort of lied to me, or didn't tell me the full truth. She told me that at 15 and 16 he apparently would sneak out of his house all the time and drink with his friends like crazy at parties and what not, TWICE she had to pick him up from the hospital, one time had pills in his system. His friends were caught with weed a few times apparently, another thing he left out, and she said his old friends were heavily into drugs. He never mentioned this history to me, but from what I understand it was part of the reason why they moved to philly in the first place, to get him on track. So now its all kind of more clear to me, she has these rules because he was actually a pretty bad kid back in the day.

I didnt really know how to feel, i still thought these laws are really over the top but they made a lot more sense. He told me those laws have always existed, but she told me she only established them once they moved to philly.

So then I asked aaron about it, and he was bewildered. He said she wasn't fully lying, he one time had snuck out at 16 and got too drunk and had to be picked up from the hospital, but the other time he wasn't drunk, he had a panic attack from the adderall he was on, something he was PRESCRIBED to. So SHE also lied to me basically. He was actually really, really mad that she would lie about something like that just to make him seem like some sort of monster to me. I asked him about his friends smoking weed and he said that they did smoke weed occasionally, and his friend got caught and my sister flipped a poo poo about it... even though it wasn't even aaron who caught. She got mad at aaron and moved him to another city simply because aaron's friend got caught with weed... that's insane to me. If its true.

So I'm basically back to ground zero. I'm not even sure if I should continue dealing with this. Both of them semi-lied to me or twisted truths, but my sister did it way more than aaron did. Im actually really upset at my sister for doing that, aaron is even more mad. Its also possible aaron is ALSO lying and he really was a crazy party kid, but I really don't know. If he isn't, then i feel awful for him still, but if he is lying, then i still kind of feel bad because hes going to live his college years with that sheltering mom regardless of his past.

Not really sure what I should do or how I should discover the truth or even if i should try.

tl;dr: asked the mother, she said he used to be a party kid and thats why he has all these laws. Asked him, he said she was mostly lying about the stuff. Not sure whos telling the truth anymore.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:24

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

No one has ever been in need of a cool uncle as bad as that kid.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:38

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Fartbox posted:

why do some girls like to get hosed in teh butt?

I get why guys like it but girls it is a mystery to me

you really don't have to have a prostate to enjoy buttsex, it's not like there aren't other nerve endings back there

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:44

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

No one has ever been in need of a cool uncle as bad as that kid.

I mean 50/50 the kid could be lying too, the mom is obviously overbearing and insane, but I doubt you can trust the kid 100% either.

I mean, I drank a fuckton in highschool starting at about 16, my parents sat me down prior to me even getting into drinking and basically treated me like an almost adult instead of a 5 year old, explained they know it will happen whether they want it to or not and how to be safe, don't drive, they'll pick me up etc etc.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:46

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

I figure for chicks who go for it it's like that pleasant satisfied relief of a big dump, a few times a second for several minutes. :mrgw:

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:46

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

ArbitraryC posted:

I enjoy cooking for my gf, my gf enjoys cooking for me, and we also enjoy cooking together (been grilling a ton this summer). This feels like a totally natural dynamic for me but when i talk to my peers it blows their mind that the majority of my food is made fresh or leftovers of stuff made fresh.

yeah. well, fresh isnt even as important as "actual food". i mean its not even hard. last night i made some frozen kebabs in the oven, accompanied by some frozen french beans and corn quickly heated with lots of butter. Very healthy meal, very easy, very delicious. bam.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:55

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Nothing we haven't seen before but :haw:

quote:

My girlfriend sent me a photo of her in a bikini during a trip to the beach with her family. The caption was on a scale of 1 � 10 how great do I look ?

I�m working for my uncle this month to make some money for July � August and I was kind of flustered at work from having quite a bit to do. I�ve also taken several photography classes here and there and in the most epic screw up that I�ve ever screwed up, I replied in total �professional photo critic� mode, �err it�s like a 5 or a 6, hope you�re having a great day sweetie :-)

She didn�t reply and I thought she was just having fun with her family until we chatted later that night and she was very upset with me. This is only my 2nd relationship and I�m worried I messed up big time and her 3rd relationship. Neither of our past relationships were very long but we�ve been together 5 months so far and it�s our longest relationships to date.

Is there anything I can do to fix this? She also has self-esteem issues from bullying during her teen years so that didn�t help my quickly written out rating of her photo.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 17:57

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Anyone else kinda get the vibe that the OP sister is the overreacting one in this case? Kid goes out and parties a little too much, mom overreacts and extrapolates... their stories never seem to jibe. Sounds pretty normal to me. The "ghetto college" thing kinda sucks but, hey, previous generations are shockingly racist all the time.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Nothing we haven't seen before but

oh my god

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:04

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Nothing we haven't seen before but

hahgahahahahahahahahaha nope, nope nope. never coming back from that ever. learn your lesson and move on. ahahaha lmao you utter fool

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:05

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

The Walrus posted:

hahgahahahahahahahahaha nope, nope nope. never coming back from that ever. learn your lesson and move on. ahahaha lmao you utter fool

actually it sounds like they're both sad sacks so they might stay together but she'll never forget and never not resent you for it

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:05

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

Drunk Nerds posted:

Anyone else kinda get the vibe that the OP sister is the overreacting one in this case? Kid goes out and parties a little too much, mom overreacts and extrapolates... their stories never seem to jibe. Sounds pretty normal to me. The "ghetto college" thing kinda sucks but, hey, previous generations are shockingly racist all the time.

imo she should send him to live with his wealthy aunt and uncle in southern california.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:06

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

The Walrus posted:

imo she should send him to live with his wealthy aunt and uncle in southern california.

That'd be awfully hard on his cousin.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The Walrus posted:

hahgahahahahahahahahaha nope, nope nope. never coming back from that ever. learn your lesson and move on. ahahaha lmao you utter fool

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:10

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

tactlessbastard posted:

That'd be awfully hard on his cousin.

wait, poo poo sorry, they moved *to* philly

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:10

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

The Walrus posted:

hahgahahahahahahahahaha nope, nope nope. never coming back from that ever. learn your lesson and move on. ahahaha lmao you utter fool

quote:

I know. I feel terrible and incredibly stupid about all this.

I was rating the picture, not her. She was teased a lot in her during high school because at the time she had acne and had some extra pounds on her and even now she has some acne scars and stretch marks. I did tell her I meant the photo and not her but considering she was in the photo and no one else and spent all day upset, that didn�t go well and she thinks I was just trying to cover up what I really think of her.

I find her attractive but neither of us is your traditional picture of male or female beauty, I�m head over heels crazy about her but neither one of us is someone you end up looking at first or second when you enter a room we�re in. So that doesn�t help the situation either because it�s sort of a situation where we both grew to appreciate each other�s looks over the course of a year before we even started dating.

I would give anything to see this guy's apology

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:17

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I would give anything to see this guy's apology

oof

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:19

OctaMurk: Jun 21, 2013

sounds like 5 or 6 may have been a generous appraisal

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:20

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

"i thought we were talking photography, not you in a bikini! 3, maybe a 4"

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:26

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

My [16/F] friend [16/M] just went no contact with everyone.

quote:

Over the past three years (about how long we've known each other) One of my guy friends who I'm decently close to has had a crush on me. It's been on/off as he's tried to get over me in the past, and most of everyone else thinks he's over me because he's dated other people in the meantime. But ever since it was made public that he likes me, he's been the butt end of our friend group's jokes. Everyone makes fun of and openly insults him for being single, being nerdy, being unfashionable, etc. About a week before school ended, he confided in me that people constantly making fun of him really got to him. Both in this friend group, and people online because he plays games/streams quite a bit, and it seems like he has somewhat of a following. He told me to not change anything I was doing and to not tell anyone as he just needed someone to talk to and he would be okay by the end of the day. He always just laughs everything off and seems like he doesn't care about whatever anyone says about him.

The day of graduation(we're juniors, going into senior year), I told him that I had recently gotten into a relationship with another girl. He didn't seem fazed about it and said something along the lines of 'I saw it coming for months'. The rest of the day went kind of normally and apparently later that day went out to eat with some others in our friend group.

Nobody in our friend group has had any contact with him since that day. While this isn't too unexpected as he's usually busy with something, he sent a message to one person that was "I'm indebted to you. If anyone else asks, tell them I went no contact with you too." To everyone else, he blocked us on all social media. We talked over this and nobody knew anything else that was going on. Some of the others in our friend group who usually make fun of him infiltrated his discord server and put up memes of him and whatnot(they got banned and blocked as soon as he saw them). Should I reach out? Should I do anything at all? Or should I just leave him alone.

How unexpected! Just out of nowhere! Maybe he has a brain tumor

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:49

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My [16/F] friend [16/M] just went no contact with everyone.

How unexpected! Just out of nowhere! Maybe he has a brain tumor

Everyone you hang around is a giant dick. You finally leave they dumb asses. Someone asks the universe why. Circle of reddit.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:51

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

The first thing I did when I finished high school was put every single person I met there behind me and never spoke to them again.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:56

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My [16/F] friend [16/M] just went no contact with everyone.

How unexpected! Just out of nowhere! Maybe he has a brain tumor

This is gonna end up some Jeremy spoke in Claaayaaas Todaaaaay poo poo.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 18:56

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My [16/F] friend [16/M] just went no contact with everyone.

How unexpected! Just out of nowhere! Maybe he has a brain tumor

Is this really "our resident punching bag finally realized how unhealthy his dynamic in our social circle was and left, why did this happen?"

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:07

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Can anyone find a link to the original post, googling the title didn't help.

EDIT: Turns out googling "no contact reddit" leads to incredibly creepy red pill posts.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Jun 29, 2017

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:10

Propaganda Hour: Aug 25, 2008; after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

The Walrus posted:

hahgahahahahahahahahaha nope, nope nope. never coming back from that ever. learn your lesson and move on. ahahaha lmao you utter fool

Next time he should be more prepared and keep this in his proverbial back pocket:

Propaganda Hour fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jun 29, 2017

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:16

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Gorilla Salad posted:

Can anyone find a link to the original post, googling the title didn't help.

EDIT: Turns out googling "no contact reddit" leads to incredibly creepy red pill posts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/6k9t9y/my_16f_friend_16m_just_went_no_contact_with/

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:17

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Thanks.

Very first comment:

quote:

This is hosed up. Your friend group bullied a kid pretty badly. Leave him be. He's better off without you all.

At least there are some people on reddit who aren't terrible.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:20

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Nothing we haven't seen before but

how do you not answer "11" you dolt?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:22

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

This is gonna end up some Jeremy spoke in Claaayaaas Todaaaaay poo poo.

Nah, that kid handled the situation with impeccable grace and maturity and now he's probably going to go off and "disrupt" some industry or other and make a bajillion krillion dollars.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:28

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

spite house posted:

Nah, that kid handled the situation with impeccable grace and maturity and now he's probably going to go off and "disrupt" some industry or other and make a bajillion krillion dollars.

Fair, maybe I was being to flip. I hope they find the grace to leave him alone and not find a new punching bag.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:29

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Gorilla Salad posted:

Thanks.

Very first comment:

At least there are some people on reddit who aren't terrible.

Lots of redditors have real life experience with being mocked and humiliated relentlessly, unlike every other relationships topic they'll dole out advice on.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:33

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Clark Nova posted:

Lots of redditors have real life experience with being mocked and humiliated relentlessly, unlike every other relationships topic they'll dole out advice on.

that's not fair, you should see the authority with which they speak on hosed up alcoholic parents and negotiating 'open relationships' that wind up being just them watching their spouse have the best sex of their lives from the bedroom corner

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Jun 29, 2017

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 21:23

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Haifisch posted:

[UPDATE] My (31M) sister (38F) is sheltering her kid (17M) to extreme levels, the kid has asked me to intervene.

So you clearly catch the kid lying to you, and then immediately buy his new story about how mom must've lied?

Let him earn his way off Mom Probation by not lying about it, for starters. Doesn't look like he's learned anything yet.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:41

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »