ranbo das posted:

I'm waiting for the twist where she finds out she's adopted.

quote:

There's nothing wrong with dragon ball. I started watching it from a very young age. I just wanted to show my daughter it and my wife freaked because it's on adult swim. She said it's teaching her to hit someone if she doesn't get what she wants. She seems to like Goku. She told me if she hits her brother [2M] she's going to blame me. She forbid DBZ in the house.

tl;dr: wife freaked and forbid daughter from watching dbz

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [27M] grew up with DBZ and wanted my daughter [4F] to watch Dragon Ball Super. Wife [27F] saw her watching it and freaked because it's on adult swin.


I'm sure he's normal.

therobit posted:

Young children do in fact imitate violence they see on tv though, so she is probably right to be concerned.

therobit posted:

Young children do in fact imitate violence they see on tv though, so she is probably right to be concerned.

Zil posted:

I know there was a big deal when Power Rangers came out and kids were getting in trouble for kicking each other in the head.

If his daughter wants to imitate throwing a spirit bomb for 3 recesses in a row, I say let her.

therobit posted:

I mean, I have not really watched much dragonball, so I assume there is fighting in it? A 4 year old is very likely to imitate cartoon violence. If there is no hitting/kicking in the show then it wouldn't be so much of a concern.

Martha Stewart Undying posted:

there's screaming and long angry stares but precious little fighting. that costs money

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [27M] grew up with DBZ and wanted my daughter [4F] to watch Dragon Ball Super. Wife [27F] saw her watching it and freaked because it's on adult swin.


I'm sure he's normal.

Martha Stewart Undying posted:

there's screaming and long angry stares but precious little fighting. that costs money

Barudak posted:

Lots of really crap parenting though.

Lonely Virgil posted:

I'd be more worried about the kid watching Caillou. gently caress that whiney little turd.

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

Keep them away from Dora, they'll learn that swiping only results in a stern talking to.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yeah learning a language definitely puts you in the "lie" camp.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

shhh, you'll summon spaceclown and he'll be compelled to talk about cutting people with razors during sex for 5 spergy pages

Straight White Shark posted:

Mom is in fact making the right move. Anime: not even once.

Pick posted:

You can try to get your daughter to watch stuff like that later, but when she's four? Come on, she doesn't have the patience for that much standing around powering up.

quote:

edit: sorry about the syntax in the header. It should say "My sister has stopped adulting and takes advantage of my parents."

My sister (Hannah) is a smart, determined, quirky person. She graduated from high school a year early and college a year early, and she moved away on her own at 20 with her college degree.

This was a terrible decision. I don't think she was emotionally ready to take care of herself on her own. Since then, she's made a series of bad decisions with guys and parties and drugs. She lost her last job in November 2015 and my parents just had her move home about a month ago because they couldn't afford to pay for a second household anymore.

I have suspected that she is dealing with depression and possibly some social anxiety for a while and I thought having our parents around would help her get back into the swing of things. Unfortunately, it's not going that way.

She won't look for a job. Even though she has a degree, she's never had a job making more than $10/hour. I've helped her build her resume, given her tips on how to interview, bought her professional clothes, forwarded her job opportunities...she only looks through recruiters and they seem to find her entry level temp jobs or horrid telemarketing jobs. On top of that, she wants nothing to do with the field of her degree (anthropology...I know, I know).

She spends my parents' money like crazy. Now, every time I go to my parents', their liquor cabinet is completely stocked with all sorts of sour raspberry vodka and 40 proof liqueurs and the most expensive IPAs money can buy. She has a nose job planned (she has a deviated septum that "just has" to be fixed), a new car picked out (to replace the last one our parents gave her), tickets to concerts and shows, and trips out of state to places like New Orleans and Denver.

She stays in her bedroom, in her pajamas, watching Netflix all day. My parents are very active and they force Hannah to go with them, but she just snapchats the whole time about how she hates being dragged places with them (like the horse races or downtown shopping - fun stuff!). My husband, kids, and I go to my parents' once a week for dinner and she is barely out of bed watching tv every single time we show. Every single time.

On top of that, she completely disrespects my parents and all that they give her. I just can't believe what a jerk she is to my mom. My mother is a major pushover, but she is wonderful person who is really trying to get Hannah back on her feet. The way Hannah talks to my mom is equivalent to how a 15 year old angsty child would treat someone.

I don't know how to help. I vacillate between feeling very empathetic for her, and being totally fed up with her. Her mental health is definitely a major factor, but I don't know how to motivate her to do something about it. And her attitude about life is just atrocious. I don't know why she thinks all her issues are bigger than everyone else's problems. What can I do? Is there anything I can do? I worry I'm going to just snap at her and make matters worse for everyone involved.

tl;dr: My sister is a lazy, ungrateful bum who expects my parents to take care of her. How do I help her help herself?

quote:

Background: P and I got together our first year of college and have had a pretty good 5 years together. Sometimes we were on/off, but for the better part of our relationship, we've been happy. We had similar lifestyles during undergrad and seemed to have a lot in common. He graduated with his BA in May 2015, and I graduated with mine in December 2015.

Now: Since I graduated, I've started working a full-time, grown up job as a legal assistant, pay my own bills without outside support, and have started spending less free time being idle and more time learning to cook, working out, improving my house, thinking about my career, etc. I feel like an adult. I have some goals in mind: work hard for a while to save money for graduate school/travel, stop smoking weed all the time (though I think smoking late at night or whatever is still okay), get fit and take better care of my body, and just generally work towards self-sufficiency and a healthy/active/busy lifestyle where I take care of myself and my things.

P has now been graduated over a year and not much has changed for him. He quit his job as a courier at the same law office I work at, has shuffled between four lovely part time jobs that he gets frustrated at and quits, smokes pot multiple times per day, and eats horribly without being active and then wonders why he feels bad, and takes care of any surprise expenses or his period of unemployment with checks his parents write him here and there for a couple hundred bucks at a time. When he's not working, he'll spend a couple hours per week practicing with his band.

So, we have these lifestyle differences. Okay. But here's where I start to get upset.

He learned recently that a distant relative died and left him $600k. It sounds made up, but I'm serious. Because of that, he's about to buy a $15k car to replace his 2001 Corolla he's always driven, and he says he doesn't plan to work more than part time or go back to school for a while because he's waiting for his band to pick up and go on tour.

After that all takes place, he says he doesn't need to worry because he can use his inheritance to go to any law school in the country without having to try too hard to get in as he won't need scholarships. Then he'll have such a valuable degree he'll be able to get a great job and be set for life.

I am feeling more and more like he isn't someone who's going to help me with my goals or whose lifestyle is at all compatible with mine. And not that this matter, but many of my clients are very low income and needy, and thinking of the misfortune of so many people while he's living a life of leisure and just looking out for himself makes me sick.

I guess this is less a concrete question and more just a request for perspectives outside of my own. Sometimes when things about an important relationship seem certain or intuitive to you, others see something different...reddit, help!!

tl;dr: Boyfriend and I graduated and our lifestyles started to get less similar. Then he got an inheritance that changed his life and I don't know if I should keep spending my life with him.

quote:

Hey Reddit,
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years, and we're pretty serious. I've never been more crazy about anyone in my life, and we're just perfect for each other. We've talked about moving in together when we had been together for about 6 months.

The thing is, I'm not sure he's capable of "adulting" (I mean, not that I am either, but I'm at least putting in an effort). He lives at home, has an unstable, casual job where he works about 10 months of the year and makes ok money (not a lot, but more than minimum wage). He is working to pay off a significant amount of debt that he accrued from being an idiot - not from school or anything.

I work a regular job (about the same pay as him), paid off my debt in 2 years from living at home, now rent, and am really saving to buy a house for both of us, so we can live together and not waste money renting.

He has paid some of his debt off, but doesn't seem to care about saving and would rather spend money on travel. And I'm talking about 4 large trips a year, none of which I can really join him on. I admit, a lot of my frustration is because I can't join him, but it's because I live in the real world where I have to work, have little vacation time, and no money to spend on that much travelling!

I'm really thinking he is content to live at home forever (he does admit he's happy there) and continue to spend all his money and not help me save. I have spoken to him about it, and he blames being in debt on his lack of saving. He denies that he wants to live at home forever, but doesn't work in any way to move out. I'm at a loss, because I really don't want to be that girl who makes him stop travelling or spending...

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm at a loss for what to do...

EDIT: I should add, his family will often pay for him when he travels. Not all the time, but quite often. Does that make me worse for wanting him to not travel and save?

tl;dr: Serious boyfriend doesn't want to grow up and wants to spend all money on travel and other things while I work hard to buy a house for us.

Martha Stewart Undying posted:

Nothing's wrong with DBZ and lamewife hating on adult swim is more of a red flag, but a kinda faded red flag that hangs limp in the wind because shes that loving lame.

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [27M] grew up with DBZ and wanted my daughter [4F] to watch Dragon Ball Super. Wife [27F] saw her watching it and freaked because it's on adult swin.


I'm sure he's normal.

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [27M] grew up with DBZ and wanted my daughter [4F] to watch Dragon Ball Super. Wife [27F] saw her watching it and freaked because it's on adult swin.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Dragon Ball also doesn't actively and blatantly yell ethical lessons at kids like many other kids shows do. Not even close. My girlfriend is a nanny and the 2 year old she takes care of will literally mimic what the songs/characters say on Daniel Tiger or Thomas the loving Tank Engine. I wouldn't be worried about Dragon Ball in comparison to that crap.

Zil posted:

If his daughter wants to imitate throwing a spirit bomb for 3 recesses in a row, I say let her.

Martha Stewart Undying posted:

there's screaming and long angry stares but precious little fighting. that costs money

Haifisch posted:

"Adulting" is a pretty good keyword, even though it's a terrible word:

My (26F) sister (23F) has stopped adulting and depends take advantage of my parents (late 50s)

(like the horse races or downtown shopping - fun stuff!)

Clark Nova posted:

What could be more fun than going to the race track with your parents?

Clark Nova posted:

I don't have any inheritance because they gambled it all away watching animal abuse

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Dragon Ball Super is actually legit very positive for kids. It teaches them to never give up, try as hard as you can, trust and cherish your friends, respect everyone no matter their standing in life, train and study very hard, love your parents, and so much more. I'm not kidding. There isn't really much kicking or punching in Super anyways. Much more shooting energy beams or throwing silly anime poo poo.

Dragon Ball also doesn't actively and blatantly yell ethical lessons at kids like many other kids shows do. Not even close. My girlfriend is a nanny and the 2 year old she takes care of will literally mimic what the songs/characters say on Daniel Tiger or Thomas the loving Tank Engine. I wouldn't be worried about Dragon Ball in comparison to that crap.

Fried Watermelon posted:

Vegeta literally beats his child when he gets angry at him for doing something better than he can and he just flys away before he has to face any consequences

Fried Watermelon posted:

Vegeta literally beats his child when he gets angry at him for doing something better than he can and he just flys away before he has to face any consequences