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Inescapable Duck posted:The parents tend to be where it all starts, one way or another. That and social isolation. I think a lot of parents find comfort in knowing exactly what they need to feed their kid without having to think about it, whether they're stressed, lazy or both. The more self-aware ones at least should teach the kid to acquire and prepare their own food without needing to be almost literally spoon-fed, mind. To some extent that's true but in other ways I think this is one of the few legitimate cases where bootstraps advice is fair and straightforward. it really isn't that hard to see your peers eating their greens and to tell yourself "maybe i should try them too". It really only takes a modicum of self awareness to notice how weird your picky eating habit is and actively try to change it. For me, all I really had to do was tell myself "other people enjoy these foods so I can too" and basically just forcing myself to eat the stuff I hated as a child while doing so with an open mind was all it took me to break the habit. The reason picky eating is such a red flag is because it only stays a problem so long as the individual is absolutely unwilling to work on it, it's understandable that they developed the bad habit based on how they were raised but it's unacceptable that they're unwilling to try and fix it. This isn't substance abuse or poverty, there's no barriers to simply buying broccoli and giving it a fair shot.
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Jul 13, 2017 09:53
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My [23 F] boyfriend [23 M] has meltdowns a few times a year triggered by random, everyday events. I have no idea how I should deal with the latest one. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and aside from this he's perfect. We were friends for a few years beforehand and even then we had something special. Our senses of humor and our personalities just mesh and I really feel I'd be a worse off person without him, most of the time. He's always suffered from anxiety but I really didn't know how severe until about a year in. He has panic attacks once or twice a week and I'm used to those, but probably 3-4 times a year he goes into what I can only describe as meltdowns. Anything can set them off, even things he would normally handle just fine. The first one was actually over a clove of garlic in a stir-fry. He wanted to add another, I already thought 3 cloves was too garlicky. The next thing I know I heard the printer running and he's stomping up to me with a bunch of recipes that call for 4 cloves of garlic, like shoving them in my face while I'm over the stove and rambling about how everyone uses 4 cloves, how his mom uses 4. He escalates until he's screaming and when I tell him to add it just to his half he pours the stir fry into the garbage and starts crying and yelling at me about how I never listen to him. It was the freakiest thing I've ever experienced. He was just completely, psychotically fixated on this garlic. He tried to sneak extra garlic into my meals for days, he had me read about the health benefits of garlic, he bought a bunch of it. Then it was just over, as quick as it began. I tried to forget it. Since then he's done this consistently, not always about garlic but always about insignificant poo poo. Once it was about which trail to take on a hike, another time it was about which day to go to Six Flags. It's always triggered by someone disagreeing with him. Usually it's me or his family. The obsession comes over him like he's being possessed and he literally can't sleep or talk about anything else. His entire countenance changes. Sometimes his anxiety medications stop it but other times he refuses to take them and insists he's acting normally. When it's over he dismisses it as a panic attack and when I press him he says he can't control it and we should break up if I can't handle it. In between attacks I can't stress enough how normal he is. Before the weekend he hadn't had an attack since January, which was a record for him. I was starting to think it was over. My boyfriend and I are currently working in a city near my family. My dad (55 M) and my boyfriend both work in the same small field and most of the time they love to chat and bond about their jobs. We met up at my mom and dad's house for lunch on Sunday and he started talking about a new device that both his and my dad's workplace recently adopted (I know I'm being vague but like I said it's a narrow field). It started off as friendly small talk, but then my dad said something like "I really think we should have waited until Other Device was available before we invested in this one". I could just feel the air get sucked out of the room as my boyfriend stiffened up and the panicked, deranged look came into his eyes. He started going crazy extolling the virtues of the current device and degrading Other Device, and my dad was responding like it was still a friendly chat and was kidding around with him, like "Haha, is someone paying you to say this?" and stuff like that. After a few more minutes of my boyfriend ranting, my dad says "hey, it's just an opinion. I like Other Device more". My boyfriend snaps back "then you're loving stupid. I don't even know why they let old men like you work in (Field), you're going senile". I couldn't take it (did I mention I was in the room this whole time?) and told my boyfriend that was uncalled for and he needed to calm down. He stormed out of the house and was MIA for two days until last night, when texted me some rambling, contradictory stuff going between him begging for forgiveness, saying we had to break up for my sake, calling my dad horrible things, etc. It's obvious he's still in the episode. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know why he acts like this or how it just resolves itself so quickly. I feel terrible for my dad and I hate that he insulted him but if I'm honest my boyfriend has said similar things to me in the midst of an episode. It feels like he crossed a line and he did, but by the time the meltdown is over he's so "back to normal" that talking about it seems worse than letting it go. He promises he'll never do it again, he's incredibly introspective and seems truly baffled by his own meltdowns but it always, always happens again. I don't know if I can do this anymore, but if this is something treatable I can stick around. To give some context, he's already in therapy and on medication, and we live apart. tl;dr: My otherwise great boyfriend has near-psychotic, obsessional meltdowns a few times a year. This time he insulted my dad and I'm reconsidering the relationship
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Jul 13, 2017 09:54
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fruit on the bottom posted:[26F] Breaking up with my boyfriend [27M] for my best friend [28M] I'm a couple pages behind, but /r/relationships: I only omitted the part where I had already cheated on him
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Jul 13, 2017 12:59
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Good lord, what the hell could be wrong with that meltdown guy? the 'tism?
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Jul 13, 2017 14:10
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Ein cooler Typ posted:
Here's a guy who heard the old adage "if your partner is asking for an open relationship they have already lined up somebody to gently caress" and took it to heart Not giving her a chance to wear him down was a smart idea based on the way she's reacting to this Demon Of The Fall posted:Good lord, what the hell could be wrong with that meltdown guy? the 'tism? Sounds like a panic attack to me, except he's defaulting to fight instead of flight I've had meltdowns kind of like this, but generally speaking my loathing is directed inward instead of outward, this dude needs better therapy and drugs than he is getting because he is going to burn all of his bridges behaving this way Mirthless fucked around with this message at 14:35 on Jul 13, 2017 |
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Jul 13, 2017 14:28
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Ein cooler Typ posted:
Move over Pete, there's a new sheriff in relationship town.
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Jul 13, 2017 14:49
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Panic attacks are just adults having tantrums because they never learned to deal with adversity
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Jul 13, 2017 14:49
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My favorite part is how she basically describes him as  , including satisfying her carnal needs, and doesn't cop to who specifically she was planning on leaping on (though I don't doubt for an instant that there was someone, and would give it even odds she's already doing something at least a little shady-- flirting crazy hard, "emotional cheating," whatever). So according to her account she torpedoed a great thing for literally no reason.Also how her ideal arrangement would include 0 emotional attachment whatsoever which is both ridiculously naive about how good humans are at compartmentalizing emotions, and further skews their relative chances of acting on the arrangement because, generally speaking, dudes are gonna be more okay with not getting post-coital cuddles.
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Jul 13, 2017 14:54
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I wish images could be thread titles. 
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Jul 13, 2017 14:57
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Ein cooler Typ posted:
I like that she lies right from the get go when she says she's not going to bore us with huge blocks of text.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:00
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Drunk Nerds posted:Panic attacks are just adults having tantrums because they never learned to deal with adversity Thanks for sharing your thrilling opinions on mental illness, I'm sure you've figured it all out; clearly all those people with doctorates should just pack it in and go home I'm willing to bet I'd dealt with more adversity before I was six than you've dealt with in your entire life. I'm not a basket case because I was sheltered as a child, I'm a basket case because I came from an incredibly abusive home during a period when my brain was still developing. Assuming everyone has lead a life as easy as yours is stupid, you should pull your bootstraps up because it can't be comfortable to have your foot this far in your mouth
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Jul 13, 2017 15:05
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Batterypowered7 posted:I like that she lies right from the get go when she says she's not going to bore us with huge blocks of text. This is a near perfect poly self-own. Dude even gave her an obvious chance at taking a mulligan where she could have walked it back and probably returned to her self-professed relationship perfection when he asks if she's joking or serious.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:11
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I love where she says he was "a pretty monogamous guy" and still thought this was a good idea.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:13
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Mirthless posted:Thanks for sharing your thrilling opinions on mental illness, I'm sure you've figured it all out; clearly all those people with doctorates should just pack it in and go home Thanks for proving my point by having a tantrum rather than deal with the adversity of someone stating an opinion with which you disagree.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:13
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Batterypowered7 posted:I like that she lies right from the get go when she says she's not going to bore us with huge blocks of text. I dunno, I like it when people go into excruciating detail over how hard they just got owned.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:15
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Drunk Nerds posted:Thanks for proving my point by having a tantrum rather than deal with the adversity of someone stating an opinion with which you disagree. 
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Jul 13, 2017 15:17
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Drunk Nerds posted:Thanks for proving my point by having a tantrum rather than deal with the adversity of someone stating an opinion with which you disagree. drat drunk needs someone disagrees with you from experience and you immediately freak out
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Jul 13, 2017 15:20
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Beachcomber posted:Easy solution to the flag problem: The mom needed to hang a poster of this gentleman That reminds me, is Jastiger still around or did he get banned at some point? I'm shocked we got through an entire confederacy derail without him chiming in.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:24
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Put it in a beautiful shadow box against a velvet backing, with a big brass plaque that reads: "Idiot loser flag for racist morons who were the baddies in a misguided war they lost repurposed into an icon for their evil idiot grandkids who liked to do murders and throw rocks at children."
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Jul 13, 2017 15:27
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Potato Swift posted:That reminds me, is Jastiger still around or did he get banned at some point? I'm shocked we got through an entire confederacy derail without him chiming in. No one mentioned Des Moines specifically, so it didn't trigger his keyword search.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:28
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ranbo das posted:I dunno, I like it when people go into excruciating detail over how hard they just got owned. Pac-Manioc Root posted:This is a near perfect poly self-own. Dude even gave her an obvious chance at taking a mulligan where she could have walked it back and probably returned to her self-professed relationship perfection when he asks if she's joking or serious. It wasn't an own, it's because he's traditional! (which is good and bad)
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Jul 13, 2017 15:33
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Drunk Nerds posted:Thanks for proving my point by having a tantrum rather than deal with the adversity of someone stating an opinion with which you disagree. thanks for ending this post and not writing more; please continue to not write any more
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Jul 13, 2017 15:46
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timefly posted:My [23 F] boyfriend [23 M] has meltdowns a few times a year triggered by random, everyday events. I have no idea how I should deal with the latest one. IME people that feel attacked (let alone throwing a tantrum) whenever someone has a different opinion than them have serious narcissism and inflated ego issues
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Jul 13, 2017 15:51
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Tantrums are for babies. Babies that need a beating.
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Jul 13, 2017 15:52
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Please don't beat babies
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Jul 13, 2017 15:54
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I have a lot of fun by sorting by controversial. Porn haters are usually highly ranked there: Me [21F] & my BF [20M]; The cycle of hurt from porn/deceit, how to fix it? quote:Alright. Disclaimer here; not here to listen to people tell me I'm stupid etc for not liking porn. It's my preference, no I'm not a prude (I used to watch it a lot) I just really don't fancy it being involved in my relationship. Any comments telling me I'm stupid etc for not liking it will be ignored and/or reported. These poor young girls who make porn into the enemy are gonna have a loving rough time of life. Be glad he's not actually cheating on you! Bonus points for hypocrisy because she used to watch porn a whole bunch.
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Jul 13, 2017 16:00
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Drunk Nerds posted:Thanks for proving my point by having a tantrum rather than deal with the adversity of someone stating an opinion with which you disagree. Sorry dude I don't have to accept every horseshit opinion as sacrosanct and beyond reproach I also quickly move to shut down people who think the moon landings were faked or that dinosaurs are a (((globalist))) conspiracy
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Jul 13, 2017 16:01
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My boyfriend was a pretty picky eater growing up, but I don't really blame him. He's Jewish and went to a Jewish school until he was 12. So everything was strictly kosher and home and at school. There is a poo poo ton of delicious kosher food but there's also a lot of really bland stuff and you're cut off from enormous amounts of delicious foods from pretty much everywhere. His parents are also both super meh cooks. He pretty much stuck to a handful of kosher food he liked as a kid and avoided everything else. Then he went to public school starting in grade 7 and was like "THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD THINGS TO EAT IN THE WORLD!!!!" Even today he doesn't have the hugest food repertoire, but he will try absolutely everything at least once and will always politely eat whatever is put in front of him at social events, even if he dislikes it (or thinks he will--my dad got him into kale almost accidentally a few months ago).
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Jul 13, 2017 16:04
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Bamabalacha posted:His parents are also both super meh cooks. i misread this post first and pictured walter white in a yarmulke
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Jul 13, 2017 16:08
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People immediately jump to defend pornography, pretty much just because they like it. Its incredibly distractive influence is extremely obvious.
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Jul 13, 2017 16:10
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Pick posted:People immediately jump to defend pornography, pretty much just because they like it. Its incredibly distractive influence is extremely obvious.  On the other hand, the literal billions of people who can handle porn and also relationships. Humans have been making porn since we could draw on cave walls.
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Jul 13, 2017 16:11
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lol if you're not immediately jacking it to some porn when your SO leaves the room
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Jul 13, 2017 16:13
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Bamabalacha posted:My boyfriend was a pretty picky eater growing up, but I don't really blame him. Kale is the Brussels Sprouts of the 2010s, it's panned by idiots who don't know how to cook or prepare food and as a result a broad set of people who might actually like this thing won't even try it Love my Sprouts <3 Batterypowered7 posted:It wasn't an own, it's because he's traditional! (which is good and bad) tbh when I read the bit about his opinion on women with lots of partners I thought "this guy is kind of an rear end in a top hat" but lol if that shouldn't have been a clue how that would play out in the first place WampaLord posted:I have a lot of fun by sorting by controversial. Porn haters are usually highly ranked there: What kills me about this is that she also apparently doesn't want to have sex with him, and may even find sex with him disgusting, so her objection seems to be that he's not willing to be a celibate monk for her
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Jul 13, 2017 16:15
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edit: weird loving double post
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Jul 13, 2017 16:15
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WampaLord posted:I have a lot of fun by sorting by controversial. Porn haters are usually highly ranked there: I'm a little sympathetic to this one because it sounds like he was on fet or some cam site where you actually "interact" with the subjects of the videos, which is less impersonal than just watching. That said a blanket ultimatum to get an untenable promise in this case is always stupid, and just investing in relationship implosions futures. If she'd said "just go on a site where you only watch, messaging the models feels cheat-y to me" I could probs get behind that TBH tho. E: also if she wasn't shrieking at him and asking deliberately provocative questions just to set him up to shriek at him s'more. Owlbear Camus fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Jul 13, 2017 |
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Jul 13, 2017 16:16
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:i misread this post first and pictured walter white in a yarmulke Well I mean they ARE doctors, the could probably cook up the, ahem, answers  
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Jul 13, 2017 16:17
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:I'm a little sympathetic to this one because it sounds like he was on fet or some cam site where you actually "interact" with the subjects of the videos, which is less impersonal than just watching. That said a blanket ultimatum to get an untenable promise in this case is always stupid, and just investing in relationship implosions futures. If she'd said "just go on a site where you only watch, messaging the models feels cheat-y" to me I could probs get behind that TBH tho. Yeah but he didn't start out there either It honestly sounds like dating this woman is incredibly exhausting, she is already rationing sex and using it as a wedge against him and they're just barely into their 20s. I can't blame him for looking for a way to fulfill his sexual needs that isn't going to make him feel like he's wringing his girlfriend's arm to sleep with him when she very clearly doesn't want to. Pick posted:People immediately jump to defend pornography, pretty much just because they like it. Its incredibly distractive influence is extremely obvious. you're right but in this particular case the damage done to this relationship by porn was done long before he entered the picture and has absolutely nothing to do with him, his habits, or his behavior the poster clearly has some deeply internalized issues wrt sex and should probably not be in a relationship with anyone until she figures this poo poo out Mirthless fucked around with this message at 16:21 on Jul 13, 2017 |
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Jul 13, 2017 16:18
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A big jfc from r/legaladvice: [IL] parent liability for teen's unpaid bill without their knowledge? (self.legaladvice) quote:The situation is my sister was enrolled in a dual enrollment high school program at a local university where she went and lived on campus to take classes. My parents were not involved in any of the application or enrollment process and neither saw nor signed any paperwork. For context, She is not on good terms with my parents and has a long history of behavioral issues. They weren't really told anything about this program.
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Jul 13, 2017 16:19
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I'm glad we're doing the porn discussion rain dance again except instead of bringing rain it summons mentally broken posters.
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Jul 13, 2017 16:21
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ThePeavstenator posted:I'm glad we're doing the porn discussion rain dance again except instead of bringing rain it summons mentally broken posters. *knocks on ur door dressed in his sunday best and hands you a pamphlet* have you heard about Hugh?
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Jul 13, 2017 16:24
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