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Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

Gonz posted:

Huh. I could’ve sworn I remember reading an interview where he said meth, too. If i’m wrong, then my bad, Tom Hardy.

I mean, it wouldn't shock me, generally speaking if you're drunk 24 / 7 and doing mountains of coke, you're probably into some other hard poo poo.

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Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


I think Nemesis is the only Trek movie I've only seen once. I never fully rewatched Into Darkness but I've seen bits again.

Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017

Into Darkness was bad, but yes Nemesis was worse. Imo the last true and good Star Trek movie that wasn't just an action movie in a Star Fleet uniform was ST6. ST4 was the best one of course.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

Peachfart posted:

Into Darkness was bad

Into Darkness only has two genuinely egregious sins: Hitting the reset button on Kirk and Spock's friendship that was built on '09, so right from the start they're back to hating each other for some reason, and some truly awful dialogue.

:clint: "Where's the damage?"
:techno: MAJOR HULL DAMAGE CAPTAIN

Well, gee golly, my cup runneth loving over.

:doom: I WILL TARGET YOUR AFT NACELLE

what the gently caress is an aft nacelle they are parallel to one another

Delthalaz
Mar 5, 2003






Slippery Tilde

Timby posted:

Into Darkness only has two genuinely egregious sins: Hitting the reset button on Kirk and Spock's friendship that was built on '09, so right from the start they're back to hating each other for some reason, and some truly awful dialogue.

:clint: "Where's the damage?"
:techno: MAJOR HULL DAMAGE CAPTAIN

Well, gee golly, my cup runneth loving over.

:doom: I WILL TARGET YOUR AFT NACELLE

what the gently caress is an aft nacelle they are parallel to one another

Magic blood

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

Delthalaz posted:

Magic blood

In a franchise in which a Borg cube somehow goes into self-destruct because all the Borg go into their regeneration state (:wtc:), and Spock mind-rapes Valeris for the location of the peace conference then two seconds later says, "oh, hey, just call Sulu, he'll know," magic blood has never bothered me.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Timby posted:

Into Darkness only has two genuinely egregious sins: Hitting the reset button on Kirk and Spock's friendship that was built on '09, so right from the start they're back to hating each other for some reason, and some truly awful dialogue.

:clint: "Where's the damage?"
:techno: MAJOR HULL DAMAGE CAPTAIN

Well, gee golly, my cup runneth loving over.

:doom: I WILL TARGET YOUR AFT NACELLE

what the gently caress is an aft nacelle they are parallel to one another

Doing a 9/11 truther plot

Pretty much the whole third act is :downs: and certainly the whole thing is a wet fart compared to the thing it regrettably and embarrassingly leans on for cred, Star Trek II

FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014


Into Darkness is the only Trek movie I've only seen once and have no intention of ever watching again.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

Sodomy Hussein posted:

Doing a 9/11 truther plot

Pretty much the whole third act is :downs: and certainly the whole thing is a wet fart compared to the thing it regrettably and embarrassingly leans on for cred, Star Trek II

Nemesis rips off Star Trek II far more than Into Darkness, down to the science officer saying goodbye to his captain and sacrificing his life to save the Enterprise from a ticking time bomb doomsday device.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Timby posted:

Nemesis rips off Star Trek II far more than Into Darkness, down to the science officer saying goodbye to his captain and sacrificing his life to save the Enterprise from a ticking time bomb doomsday device.

I'm not picking favorites here, we can bury both in the dustbin of Bad Trek

It's pretty impressive that Nemesis stands out as bad when there are no good TNG movies though

Powered Descent
Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Sodomy Hussein posted:

I'm not picking favorites here, we can bury both in the dustbin of Bad Trek

But it's so much fun to root through that bin!

Drink-Mix Man
Mar 4, 2003

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Into Darkness is a lousy Star Trek movie and worse sequel, but if I saw it in a vacuum I could enjoy it if only for the spectacle. (In fact, many casual moviegoers did.) Nemesis is just an ugly, poorly-written, shamefully composed, and cheap-looking mess from top to bottom. It's not just a bad Trek movie, it's just flat-out one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Orv
May 4, 2011

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Into Darkness is a lousy Star Trek movie and worse sequel, but if I saw it in a vacuum I could enjoy it if only for the spectacle. (In fact, many casual moviegoers did.) Nemesis is just an ugly, poorly-written, shamefully composed, and cheap-looking mess from top to bottom. It's not just a bad Trek movie, it's just flat-out one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Nemesis sucks and is disappointing but as a connoisseur of fine cinematic garbage this isn't remotely true, for me at least.

Pastamania
Mar 5, 2012

You cannot know.
The things I've seen.
The things I've done.
The things he made me do.
09 and Into Darkness are the best Star Wars films since Empire Strikes Back.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Drink-Mix Man posted:

Into Darkness is a lousy Star Trek movie and worse sequel, but if I saw it in a vacuum I could enjoy it if only for the spectacle. (In fact, many casual moviegoers did.) Nemesis is just an ugly, poorly-written, shamefully composed, and cheap-looking mess from top to bottom. It's not just a bad Trek movie, it's just flat-out one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

It at least has moments. The Vengeance battle where it blows a bunch of dudes into space and just loving slaps the Enterprise out of warp is very cool.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Orv posted:

Nemesis sucks and is disappointing but as a connoisseur of fine cinematic garbage this isn't remotely true, for me at least.

:agreed:

Watching pure unbearable trash gives you necessary context into how many “Worst Ever!” movies are really just thoroughly mediocre.

Nemesis is the worst Star Trek movie, but it doesn’t even move the needle when compared to poo poo like Pass-Thru or Foodfight or Between Worlds.

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Big Mean Jerk posted:

:agreed:

Watching pure unbearable trash gives you necessary context into how many “Worst Ever!” movies are really just thoroughly mediocre.

Nemesis is the worst Star Trek movie, but it doesn’t even move the needle when compared to poo poo like Pass-Thru or Foodfight or Between Worlds.
Rifftrax did Star Raiders which is a bad B movie recently and dear God it’s awful

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Grand Fromage posted:

It at least has moments. The Vengeance battle where it blows a bunch of dudes into space and just loving slaps the Enterprise out of warp is very cool.

I wasnt really a battle, though.

Actually how many times are there shipfights in Trek movies where the Enterprise doesn't get slapped down effortlessly in under a minite

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Tunicate posted:

I wasnt really a battle, though.

Actually how many times are there shipfights in Trek movies where the Enterprise doesn't get slapped down effortlessly in under a minite
I mean Generations was bad for that but in WoK and TUC it did pretty well

The Unlife Aquatic
Jun 17, 2009

Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live
In cars

Big Mean Jerk posted:

:agreed:

Watching pure unbearable trash gives you necessary context into how many “Worst Ever!” movies are really just thoroughly mediocre.

Nemesis is the worst Star Trek movie, but it doesn’t even move the needle when compared to poo poo like Pass-Thru or Foodfight or Between Worlds.

Don't forget the existence of anything by Coleman Francis.

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!
There's a difference between ripping off Wrath of Khan (Nemesis) and deliberately invoking the comparison (Into Darkness). Neither is necessarily a good thing or pulled off well, but it's easy to see the former as worse. Then again I can also see the argument that the latter is worse.

Both bad.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

FlamingLiberal posted:

I mean Generations was bad for that but in WoK and TUC it did pretty well

In TWoK the Enterprise does get crippled right at the start, so its still halfway there.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Tunicate posted:

I wasnt really a battle, though.

Actually how many times are there shipfights in Trek movies where the Enterprise doesn't get slapped down effortlessly in under a minite

The Enterprise is always getting clowned on in movies but it was still a cool clowning.

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010

Tunicate posted:

I wasnt really a battle, though.

Actually how many times are there shipfights in Trek movies where the Enterprise doesn't get slapped down effortlessly in under a minite

Nemesis :v:

Orv
May 4, 2011

Fire ventral pha-:barf:

Zonko_T.M.
Jul 1, 2007

I'm not here to fuck spiders!

The Enterprise getting busted up in TWoK is different from any of the fights where the Enterprise gets pulverized by a ship that is just magically superior in every way. Khan gets the drop in Kirk, giving his inferior ship and inexperienced crew an advantage over Kirk through, you know, an actual loving tactic instead of just bigger numbers. That's a big part of why the space combat in TWOK is tense and interesting. Both sides are more or less evenly matched and vying for an advantage.

I'll take the big Evil Enterprise in Into Darkness over the razor blade warbird in Nemesis because at least the first has a plot reason to exist and be much stronger than the Enterprise. The ship in Nemesis makes zero sense on every level. Either way, watching these giant murder ships nuke the heroes is incredibly boring, there's no chance the heroes will win until the writer reveals there macguffin that will save the day.

The big swarm in Beyond worked for me because it felt very alien to what space combat looks like in Trek, and it was the beginning of the movie, not the final battle.

MrL_JaKiri
Sep 23, 2003

A bracing glass of carrot juice!

Tunicate posted:

I wasnt really a battle, though.

Actually how many times are there shipfights in Trek movies where the Enterprise doesn't get slapped down effortlessly in under a minite

First Contact!

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


The ship in 09 Trek works as well. It's giant because it's a mining ship, it outclasses everything because it's from 200 years in the future, but it can be beaten because it is still just a mining ship.

Orv
May 4, 2011

AlBorlantern Corps posted:

The ship in 09 Trek works as well. It's giant because it's a mining ship, it outclasses everything because it's from 200 years in the future, but it can be beaten because it is still just a mining ship.

What kind of hosed up poo poo are the future Romulans mining that they need MIRV torpedos?

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


Orv posted:

What kind of hosed up poo poo are the future Romulans mining that they need MIRV torpedos?

I think he went and "requisitioned" those himself from a base after his planet was destroyed

Orv
May 4, 2011
Probably but it's more fun to imagine some kind of super hosed up asteroid mite or something.

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010

Orv posted:

Probably but it's more fun to imagine some kind of super hosed up asteroid mite or something.

Must have contracted with the company from Dead Space.

After The War
Apr 12, 2005

to all of my Architects
let me be traitor

Zonko_T.M. posted:

Khan gets the drop in Kirk

Stay outta mah fanfic folder! :argh:

bull3964
Nov 18, 2000

DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK.


Zonko_T.M. posted:

The Enterprise getting busted up in TWoK is different from any of the fights where the Enterprise gets pulverized by a ship that is just magically superior in every way. Khan gets the drop in Kirk, giving his inferior ship and inexperienced crew an advantage over Kirk through, you know, an actual loving tactic instead of just bigger numbers. That's a big part of why the space combat in TWOK is tense and interesting. Both sides are more or less evenly matched and vying for an advantage.

And that carries through to the end too. Until Khan stars the genesis countdown, both ships have beat each other to poo poo to the point where they are both just limping along. Again, the only reason why the Enterprise gets the upper hand at the end is tactics until Khan just decides to flip over the whole table because he lost his game of chess.

It's also a true no win situation. You can't get away without warp. All hands would be lost. You are alone, in the rear end end of space. You can't evacuate.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/CNET/status/1139514222717689857

Nodosaur
Dec 23, 2014

I like how we're complaining about Into Darkness and no one has pointed out that they turned an Indian man played by a Hispanic man into literally the whitest man imaginable

Angry Salami
Jul 27, 2013

Don't trust the skull.
What pissed me off was that people were complaining before the film came out that it was bullshit whitewashing to cast Cumberbatch... so they lied and said he wasn't playing Khan.

(And appearance aside, he was a terrible choice; Khan's a passionate, energetic, over-the-top presence, but Cumberbatch never plays anything except emotionless super-geniuses.)

Angry Salami fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Jun 15, 2019

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Turning him into Khan always felt like a late-into-shooting script change because it has no importance within the actual story. All it does is give the audience a little gasp and allows that terrible Spock Skype call to happen. Cumberbatch should have just stayed John Harrison and been a henchman of Khan’s and then the final shot should have set up the real Khan for a sequel. Keep everything else the same so that you have the crew and ship just wrecked by this second banana and leave everyone wondering just how much more powerful, intelligent, and dangerous Khan will be.

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Well I know Benicio Del Toro was their first choice for Khan but they didn’t want to pay him

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Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

Timby posted:

Into Darkness only has two genuinely egregious sins: Hitting the reset button on Kirk and Spock's friendship that was built on '09, so right from the start they're back to hating each other for some reason, and some truly awful dialogue.

:clint: "Where's the damage?"
:techno: MAJOR HULL DAMAGE CAPTAIN

Well, gee golly, my cup runneth loving over.

:doom: I WILL TARGET YOUR AFT NACELLE

what the gently caress is an aft nacelle they are parallel to one another

I think you have to add that terrible scene with Carol and Kirk in the shuttlecraft, too. That scene is such a hit job on Kirk's character, and the lingerie shot is just totally gratuitous.

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