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darkwasthenight
Jan 7, 2011

GENE TRAITOR

Echo Chamber posted:

Looks like StarWipe really is dead. The Facebook page redirects to "The AV Newswire" now.

They wiped the twitter feed earlier today. Not deleted it, just cleaned it.

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Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Electric Phantasm
Apr 7, 2011

YOSPOS

First Lady FTW: Thousands Of Children Who Participated In Michelle Obama’s Fitness Initiatives Are Now Uncontrollably Strong

quote:

You would never have guessed that an 11-year-old who is fit enough to jump up and pull a U.S. Marine Sea Cobra attack helicopter out of the sky today was a 5-year-old showing prediabetic symptoms just a few years ago.

ZDar Fan
Oct 15, 2012

Robert Denby posted:

It seems Literally Unbelievable is back to regular updates. There's been some pretty good ones lately.

This seems too good to be true, but it made me laugh

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Am I suffering from Goon prosopagnosia or is the rapist played by Desmond Harrington?

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
This thing is making me laugh way too hard:

7 Handy Mnemonic Devices For Remembering That Humans Usually Don’t Need To Worry About Getting Caught In Spiderwebs

clown shoes
Jul 17, 2004

Nothing but clowns down here.
Wow. Yeah, StarWipe is officially dead.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StarWipe

Last Chance
Dec 31, 2004

clown shoes posted:

Wow. Yeah, StarWipe is officially dead.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StarWipe

drat, yeah it's Wikipedia-Official..

Aramek
Dec 22, 2007

Cutest tumor in all of Oncology!
They should still come back with one final article called Don't Call It a Comeback I've Ahhhh gently caress It...

veni veni veni
Jun 5, 2005



I think the best part about this is that none of the bystanders even bother to acknowledge the flash mob.

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO
Man Driving While Making YouTube Video To Explain How PC Culture Destroying America

Kumaton
Mar 6, 2013

OWLBEARS, SON
Investigators: First 48 Hours Most Critical In Locating Missing Children Who Entered Portal To Fantastical World

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Amazing: Man Is In Love With Girl And No One Knows
Incredible! Watch This Man Realize The One Person He Really Wanted To Come To The Party Isn’t Coming

life is a joke
Mar 7, 2016

clown shoes posted:

Wow. Yeah, StarWipe is officially dead.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StarWipe

nooooooooo :[[[[[[[[

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Everyone please take this quiz: Which Founding Father are you?

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Red Sox Fan Dedicates Garbage Can He’s Lighting On Fire To Marathon Victims

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

The MSJ posted:

Everyone please take this quiz: Which Founding Father are you?

The soul of wit :allears:

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


'I'm A Trump-Era Conservative,' Says Horrifying Man 25 Years From Now

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Area Man’s Intelligence Probably Just Too Intimidating For Most Women

Teen Had Absolutely No Say In Becoming Part Of Snapchat Generation

Dr_Amazing
Apr 15, 2006

It's a long story

The picture for this one absolutely slays me.

Echo Chamber
Oct 16, 2008

best username/post combo
Tim Duncan is retiring. :(

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


‘We Get The Food And Then We Eat The Food Until All The Food Is Gone,’ City Of Chicago Announces Unprompted

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
Devastating: This Guy Knows Exactly How Black People Should Act Around Police Officers, But He Has No Black Friends To Tell About It

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Echo Chamber posted:

Tim Duncan is retiring. :(

It's been so long since the last Tim Duncan article that maybe they'll refocus on him now? I hope??? :ohdear:

Robert Denby
Sep 9, 2007
Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? Nah, get fucked mate.
Man Always Gets Little Rush Out Of Telling People John Lennon Beat Wife

Rap Game Goku
Apr 2, 2008

Word to your moms, I came to drop spirit bombs


YeahTubaMike posted:

It's been so long since the last Tim Duncan article that maybe they'll refocus on him now? I hope??? :ohdear:

They did post this:

Tim Duncan: An NBA Legend Rides Into The Sunset At A Safe And Prudent Speed

Emily Spinach
Oct 21, 2010

:)
It’s 🌿Garland🌿!😯😯😯 No…🙅 I am become😤 😈CHAOS👿! MMMMH😋 GHAAA😫

Oh, a completely factual article. As a resident of Chicago, I'm currently looking forward to getting the food and eating the food until all the food is gone, which is a thing we do.

Echo Chamber
Oct 16, 2008

best username/post combo
Tim Duncan Proudly Reflects On All The Degrees He Accumulated During 19-Year NBA Career

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
Just found this in Clickhole's source code:
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This is on the Onion:

pre:
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                                                                        ::::  ::::
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                ,:

Nothing for StarWipe, Onion Studios, Onion Labs or AV Club.

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
Devastating: This Guy Knows Exactly How Black People Should Act Around Police Officers, But He Has No Black Friends To Tell About It


If Black Lives Matter Isn’t A Racist Hate Group, Then Can Someone Please Explain To Me Why I Keep Insisting They Are?

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
I’m Privileged To Live In A Suburban Neighborhood With Virtually No Crime, But If Someone Does Commit A Crime Here, It’ll Probably Be A Super hosed-Up One

Kumaton
Mar 6, 2013

OWLBEARS, SON
Eeep! The Rats In New York City Are Getting WAY Too Brave

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

I was certain it was going to be a firetruck.

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
It's the realistic delay of the sound of the explosion that really makes this.

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


Dr. Arbitrary posted:

I was certain it was going to be a firetruck.

Same, but what we got was incredible

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

"...but just as I understand that what’s happening across town is incredibly unlikely to ever happen where I live, I also recognize that when something does go down here, it’s going to be some real nightmare poo poo. I’m talking trail-of-human-teeth kind of thing. The kind of crime that turns the name of your suburb into a verb."

This is one of my favorite Clickhole articles ever. I love that last sentence I quoted, it's basically perfection.

Robert Denby
Sep 9, 2007
Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? Nah, get fucked mate.
Police Or Army: Who Wore It Better?

Clickhole posted:

Are we seeing double?! Nope, that’s just what happens when two of the state’s instruments of physical force bust out the exact same look. Time for a fashion face-off!

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.



These People Took Self-Portraits Before And After Angering The Bishop, And The Results Are Incredible

When the Bishop gets angry with you, the change is dramatic.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

When I want to relax, I read an essay by Engels. When I want something more serious, I read Corto Maltese.


I loving love Clickhole.

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Zweihander01
May 4, 2009

On Every Anniversary Of The Moon Landing, My Thoughts Always Turn To That Horse Neil Armstrong And I Jettisoned Out Of The Airlock by Buzz Aldrin.

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