Pick posted:

My [23F] rich parents [50s] got upset that I refused to give them money after 'everything they've done to raise me'Non-Romantic

LadyPictureShow posted:

I'm betting Bort and his friends are/were theater or improv kids. Lotta cross-contamination in those circles. (I'm not sure if LARPers hook up with each other like crazy...)

E: man, some of you guys are really serious about your hair routines. Now I feel like a plebe because I use dry shampoo and leave-in conditioner a lot so my dye doesn't leech out so fast.

Danaru posted:

[IN] Drug induced black out. Woke up in a hospital and found that my apartment had been searched by cops.


I honestly can't figure out if "cough drops" is slang, or if this guy is really trying to say he got rocketed off his rear end on Fisherman's Friend, and also unrelated the cops took his burner phone and 'TOTALLY NOT DRUGS GUYS'

Darkhold posted:

If you take enough cough medicine you can get through the blood/brain barrier and enter a hallucinogenic state.

It's one of those more baffling ones where it seems like a good percentage of the time it's nightmare world of terror (at least from the posts I was reading about it haven't had any personal experience).

Mirthless posted:

He might have been talking about Coricidin Cold and Cough, which comes in little gel caps. This sometimes kills the stoner.

TERRIBLE SHITLORD posted:

Please help, my idiot satanic dad is trying to block my progress towards the rank of 1st Dan Grand Platinum Brain Shaman. What do?

quote:

I'm 12 months into a relationship with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. We're so happy, she gets me, I think she's wonderful, we laugh, we have amazing sex. She's bi and loves MFF threesomes, and has said she wants one with me. She tried to arrange one with a friend before but it fell through.

I'm away for 8 weeks in another country for work - by coincidence one of my old uni friends (F28) is in that country so I'm visiting her for a couple of days. We've never been more than friends but there is a mutual attraction, we've made out a couple of times and I would have pursued it if she had been in the country (before meeting my GF). While I'm visiting I'm sharing the bed with my friend but I asked my GF if that was ok before I went and she said yes.

Tonight, on my last night, after too much drinking, I sent my GF a message saying my friend is totally up for a threesome. She pointed out that would be better to talk about when I'm back, rather than now, so I called to try and explain but made it worse by saying it was just cos I was so excited about the idea. She interpreted that as I was excited to sleep with my friend, who I'm with and drunk. She's now pretty upset and I won't see her for another month or so - how badly have I hosed up? What can I do to make it better?

tl;dr: Told my GF my female friend is up for a threesome while drunk with the friend in a different country.

EDIT After the first threesome with her friend fell through GF told me to recruit. She's had threesomes before, I never have. We have discussed rules and boundaries.

GF was aware of the history with my friend, and still said she trusted me and it was fine to share a bed.

I was staying 4 nights with my friend, this all happened on the last night, we didn't then share the bed and I have now gone to the city I'm working in.

Gf hasn't gone mad, said she understood it was just me being stupid, and not really want I meant, but that it hurt her getting that message. Gonna be as reassuring and thoughtful as I can.

fruit on the bottom posted:

The reason I’m jealous of you is because you started like three weeks after me, and I’m still stuck back at Hyperforce Gold Star Astral Sheriff.

Me [31M] just told my GF [28F] that my friend [28F] wants a threesome with us. How bad did I gently caress up?

quote:

Hey everyone. This is an odd issue to have but I’m hoping someone can help.

I’ve always been close with my brother. He’s wanted kids for a while but he’s gay so obviously the only choices are (a) surrogacy or (b) adoption. He really wants the child to have a genetic connection to him. That’s only possible with surrogacy. It would be his dna (sperm) plus an egg donor, and then the surrogate would carry the child. (I’m still learning about the science behind all this stuff so sorry if my explanation isn’t the best).

My brother doesn’t have a ton of money. He works hard but he and his husband just can’t afford the process. I know another fat couple that spent around $100K for this when they added up all the bills. They’ll never have that kind of cash. I probably won’t either or I would give it to them.

they can drastically cut costs if they don’t go through an agency for the surrogate. That’s where I would come in. A lot of the fees they wouldn’t have to pay because I wouldn’t charge them anything except my medical expenses.

I pitched it to my husband. He doesn’t want me to do it. He thinks it’s bizarre and asks why they can’t get someone else. I told him this is a huge commitment and they’re going to be hard pressed to find anyone to do it and not charge them a whole lot of money. (My brother in law doesn’t have sisters and comes from a small family. And neither of my brother nor my BIL have female friends willing to take on this much responsibility). My husband was like “they can go on Craigslist, surrogates advertise”. But I told him that’s sooooo risky. You don’t know what kind of person youre dealing with on there. I couldn’t recommend that to them in good conscience.

I don’t know how to help my husband see how important this is. He can’t get past the “it’s too weird” factor. I don’t think that’s a great reason, especially when this is so important. How can I get through to him?

tl;dr - brother and brother-in-law want me to be their surrogate. This is the only affordable and reasonable option for my brother to have kids that have his dna. It would not be my dna. I would just be the carrier. Husband still thinks it’s weird. Doesn’t want me to do it. Want help convincing him.

*I want to clarify again that the egg would be from a donor. Literally all I would provide is a uterus. Obviously I would not consent to be the biological mother of my brother’s kid! *

ETA: for those asking, yes, I have one daughter. She’s three.

Milotic posted:

Don’t carry your brother’s genetic material. That’s just nasty

My [27F] brother [30M] and his husband [33M] want me to be their surrogate so they can have a baby. I want to do it but my husband [29M] is against it.


ETA: for those asking, yes, I have one daughter. She’s three.

Pvt.Scott posted:

LARPers gently caress about as often as Drizzt Do-Urden pines over Catti-brie.

quote:

I have spent the last five years working as a safety inspector at a coal mine in Kentucky. I had put in impeccable service, rarely missing a day and always receiving praise for my efforts. This all ended after I was abruptly fired just for protecting the employees, allow me to elaborate.

I felt as though the safety protocol and standards for the working environment were unsafe, as thus contacted many workers through email asking them to give me their opinion on the matter, they all agreed with me. However, the issue arises that I felt that I was at risk of angering my superiors for reporting the problems.

To compensate for this possibility, I simply asked that all employees involved pay me a small fee before I reported the issues. However, the employees outright refused and instead threatened to have my conduct reported. To counteract this I suggested that I not report the problems if they did not pay the fee. Somehow my superiors got wind of this and had me fired immediately.

I find it incredibly unfair that I was relieved of my position simply for doing my job. If only they would understand the difficult position that I was in, I believe that the company would see things from my perspective.

How can I seek a legal solution for this matter?. I wish to seek damages for this and perhaps have my position reinstated. What are my options?

quote:

Could you define "small fee"?

OP posted:

$1000

Danaru posted:

I was going to post a story where some kid and his friends locked another kid in a casket as a prank, but it ended with that kid suffocating to death Yowza.

Here's something also awful but less murder-ey

Fired For Protecting Employees - Kentucky


I know employers can be lovely about reporting stuff you SHOULD be reporting, but your literal job title is "Safety Inspector". This is literally what you're hired to do

EDIT: Bonus I just found in the comments

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The guy is literally crying about being just fired from his job instead of being brought up on racketeering charges?

tactlessbastard posted:

You've got to be kidding me. I assumed he was going to get fired for canvassing the employees on the side and stirring things up, not for extortion.

quote:

So basically my girlfriend works in a Thai spa she gives customers massage and a handjob if they want to pay extra, she makes a good amount of money (at least 150$ a day) she's really good at it too, she talks about her job and her customers openly with me, but lately I've been thinking about it and it really bothers me to think that she touches and makes other guys orgasm everyday, it's like she's cheating on me every day even though she's only doing it because she loves giving massages and wants to make money, she buys me everything I want from expensive clothes and shoes to a brand new smartphone, she pays for everything and i don't really mind I'm actually very grateful because I'm a college student and I need the money, I just want to know what do you guys think about this kind of relationship, we love each other and I'd never cheat on her but is she cheating on me for doing her job? tl;dr is my girlfriend considered cheating on me for giving handjob to customers in her spa?

tactlessbastard posted:

You've got to be kidding me. I assumed he was going to get fired for canvassing the employees on the side and stirring things up, not for extortion.

quote:

A few weeks ago, I asked out this girl that I've had a crush on for a few months. She said yes and we ended up going to see a movie and get some frozen yogurt afterwards. It was a fine date, but the issue was how this girl acted. The normally outgoing, energetic, and friendly persona usually associated with her was nonexistent. Instead, she was very quiet, shy, timid, and wouldn't even make eye contact. She claimed that she still had a good time, but I was worried that I was boring her.

In the weeks following the date, I would talk to her around our college campus and she would still do the same old stuff. She'd act uncharacteristically shy around me, but she'd have no problem being all loud and outgoing around other guys. Her friends claimed that she still wanted to date me, but she was still dealing with some "issues" that they wouldn't elaborate on.

Just yesterday, though, this girl told me that we should just remain friends for now. I asked why and her reasoning was that she had just gotten out of a really bad relationship with a guy who treated her terribly and broke her heart. She said that she's "broken" because of her last relationship and she's just not ready to date yet. She wants time for herself to get over her last relationship and focus in fixing herself. I talked to her friends about this and they backed up her story by saying her last boyfriend was a complete jerk and they said that "her guard is up" and she's afraid of being hurt again. They also said that she may want to pursue a relationship with me in the future, but for now she needs time to "recover".

I personally think this is some dumb reasoning for not wanting to date. I think that the best way to get over a past relationship is to start a new one, but she apparently doesn't think so. I mean, I've had some bad relationships in the past, but I was never turned off from dating because of them. I just got over them and moved onto a different girl. Sorry for saying this, but I just don't see his girls' reasoning and I think she's being melodramatic and even a bit selfish. What do you think? Is there anyone who can explain to me this girl's logic?

blarzgh posted:

Gosh, that IS selfish of her not to date you when you want her to.

quote:

Do people stare at you when they walk by your office door or cubicle? If so, does this bother you? Have you tried anything to make it stop?

I'm having this problem. It's only men (though there aren't many women in my office) and one particular man (40?/M) more often than not. I'm 95% sure he means nothing by it and just doesn't talk to many people at work, but it still makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

It's 2 pm - I've been stared at 16 times, 13 of which were by this same man. Many of these people are going out of their way to do so. I've been bothered by this for years but haven't said anything "out loud" about it until now because it's never been THIS bad before. It's been at this level for about 2 months now.

I'm afraid to address the main culprit directly because he doesn't mean any harm and does not have many acquaintances at work.

Any advice is really appreciated. Tell me what I can do to mitigate it, tell me I'm a wuss, tell me how to be passive aggressive about it, tell me anything.

tl;dr: Coworker keeps staring at me when he walks past my door. It's making me uncomfortable.

maskenfreiheit posted:

My crush [22/F] has a dumb reason for not wanting to date me [22/M] yet.Dating


YOUR REASONING FOR NOT DATING ME IS NOT SUFFICIENTLY LOGICAL. REQUEST FOR LACK OF CONTACT

*BZZZT*

DENIED

maskenfreiheit posted:

My crush [22/F] has a dumb reason for not wanting to date me [22/M] yet.Dating


YOUR REASONING FOR NOT DATING ME IS NOT SUFFICIENTLY LOGICAL. REQUEST FOR LACK OF CONTACT

*BZZZT*

DENIED

Danaru posted:

"I'm afraid of being hurt again"
"REASON DENIED BZZZRRRRT"

I can't figure out why she'd be afraid of that

quote:

I feel like I should end my (19f) relationship of almost 2 years with my fiancé (27m) but don't know how/if our relationship is actually over and/or how to end it.
u/throwaway19vs27
This is a throwaway because my fiancé (let's call him John) often looks over my shoulder while browsing Reddit and I don't want to chance him seeing this. It's a long story but please bear with me. All the information is necessary. Im also on mobile so sorry if the formatting is messed up.

The backstory: His mom and I worked together at a department store and she thought we would be a perfect match. I was 17 at the time and he was 25- she knew this. I told her no and brushed her off multiple times but she kept bugging me about him so eventually agreed to meet him while I was at work one day.

The first time I saw him I was instantly attracted and he looked really young, maybe 21ish so I agreed to see him a couple more times-granted I knew his age at this point. In no way am I saying I'm innocent or was tricked into this. I eventually agreed to go to his moms house (he was staying there because he only planned on visiting her for a couple weeks but his car broke down so he ended up staying with her) for New Years and hang out because why not?

We spent over 12 hours just getting to know each other and talking. I got there around 6pm and left around 7pm. I thought he was the greatest thing to walk the earth. We ended up dating secretly because I was a minor and my parents would freak out- with good reason. At the time I was a senior in high school, working part time and getting ready to go to beauty school. I had a scholarship and everything.

I should also mention he was unemployed at this point but he assured me that it was because he had just gotten to the state a couple months prior and before meeting me wasn't planning on staying. He also got and continues to get $500 from a previous job but doesn't know when the money will stop coming in.

A couple weeks after we started dating and seeing each other pretty much everyday my mom found out that I was dating John. We talked about it and she agreed not to tell my dad about the relationship because we both knew he would press charges and my mom had her own issues going on. She also knew I would continue to see him even if she "banned" me.

John moved out of his moms house and into an apartment with his best friends in February. He ended up working for about 3 weeks and then ended up walking out because "he didn't need a BS job like that".

That March (3 months into this relationship) my mom killed herself. That's a whole different story but it caused my dad to find out about my relationship with John. He didn't know how old he was, just that he was older. The suicide caused a lot of tension between my dad and I and I felt things were getting unsafe at home so I got a full time job as soon as I turned 18. That May I moved in with John and his roommates just a couple weeks before graduation. I hated it there but I figured it was John and I against the world. My dad was pissed.

After graduating I didn't really see my dad or brother often. Just John and his mom. I didn't spend time with the few friends I had from school and spent all my time that wasn't at work with John. I started gaining a lot of weight and felt miserable but rationalized that it was because of my moms suicide which I was still really messed up over.

That September he proposed to me and I said yes. It was so unmemorable that I don't even know the date. Just that I felt really pressured to say yes. We had talked about getting married but I had told him I wanted to wait until I was at least 21. So we agreed on a long engagement, he said he just wanted the promise to be there.

We moved into a different house with our roommates in January. When I say I hated them, I HATED them. We were paying half the rent and utilities for a 10x12 room. They wouldn't let us do anything in what was our house too. This caused a lot of fights between me and John because they were his friends and I felt like we were being taken advantage of. He wouldn't stand up for us and it really bothered me.

Also, I was still working full time and he was STILL unemployed. He would play video games or hang out with his friend all day and the room would be trashed. I literally had nervous breakdowns because I couldn't deal with the living conditions. He always brushed me off and basically called me crazy/spoiled and said there was no other option so I'd better deal with it.

We eventually moved out, I payed for all of it. He didn't even WANT to move into a house with just us.

He's also kind of a hoarder. I.e. wont let me throw away his trash without asking if it's trash first, not organized in the slightest, has mounds of useless/worthless "memorabilia" that'll be "worth something someday".

So one day shortly after moving I was going through some of his stuff and found marriage certificates, a woman's social security card, birth certificate, drivers license and pictures of him and said woman in his Army paperwork. I didn't even know what to do. And the kicker was I had asked him if he had been married several times and the answer was always "No I never wanted to get married before I met you". Oh. And at the time of marriage she had just turned 18 and he was 23. Sounds a little familiar.

So I went off on him, made him tell me everything he'd ever lied to me about and told him if I caught him lying again we were done. At first he tried to put it on me saying I shouldn't have been going through his stuff but then admitted he should have told me. I made him get me a copy of his divorce certificate. He showed me but I think it was fake. It looked like a screenshot off of a computer. The only reason I didn't break up with him in that moment was because he's told me multiple times if I break up with him he's going to kill himself.

Anyway, here we are now and nothing has really changed. I'm still paying for everything. He's still unemployed (but has been looking and had an interview the other day that he said went well). And I'm just so torn on what to do.

My question: Do I kick him out/break up with and if so how should I go about it. None of my friends/family/coworkers like him. All of his friends and family love me and think I'm the greatest thing to happen to him. I'm worried about what he'll do to me or himself when I tell him I want to end things. He's also on the lease and is the account holder for the power bill. I'm pretty sure I can get him off the lease pretty easily but I don't know what to do about the power.

I feel so trapped but I think I'm ready to move on. We've had so many fights about me growing up but him staying the same. I feel like he's my kid sometimes. He doesn't think anything is wrong really but I've told him I need XYZ for this relationship to work and he doesn't even attempt to do anything to help.

I should also add that I do feel love for him. I don't think I'd care about what happens if I didn't. That's another reason I think I'm so torn.

Also, with the holidays coming up I don't know if I should wait to break things off because our families already have plans together and I'm not in a position yet to be able to afford everything by myself. I think I will after the new year. I'm also trying to get a new, better job.

I just don't know how to do this. I know I SHOULD end it but I don't know anyone that's been in a situation like this and it's much easier said than done.

Thanks in advance guys.

TL;DR: I feel trapped and used in my relationship with a much older man and don't know how to get out of it.

EDIT 1: You guys are so helpful. Thank you for all your responses. I haven't actually tried to break up with him yet. Should I try before doing what you guys are suggesting? Or should I just skip giving him a chance to be reasonable and do a quick escape type thing?

EDIT 2: Thank you guys for everything. I talked to my dad and we are going to come up with a plan. After that we'll set up a date with our officer friend and possibly some more of my dads friends to break up with him and possibly ask him to leave. I'll then call my landlord and I'm pretty sure he'll be understanding and take him off the lease. I'm going to try to pack a go bag just in case something crazy happens. I know I'll be okay but now my biggest concern is my dog and where he's going to stay if I can't take him for some reason. I'll post an update after everything is said and done. I'm not sure how long it will take but it'll be worth it. Thank you guys again for all the help and insight. It's worse than I thought it was and now I'm even more determined to leave.

Bored posted:

I have no clue what this means, but if it means they gently caress all the time, that is my experience with LARPers as well. Lotta polyamory, too.

quote:

So I was talking last night with a woman and I was feeling randy (been smoking some weed in a joint.) Usually I am not so randy but I thought that we should do oral sex. I said, hey I think we should suck d--k. But I meant for her to do it on me (I am a male) and I don’t know if this was a big mistake? I am not trying to be gross here but I want to know the right answer, should I just wait until I talk to her next, or does she think I want to suck d--k. I hope not. It was just a speech error. These things happen.

tl;dr: Accidentally said suck d--k

quote:

1st let me tell you guys about me and my situation. I used to be an rear end in a top hat, a toolbag, a jerk. I thought that I could do whatever I wanted to whoever i wanted and there wouldn't ever be any consequences.

Since i was such a terrible person, 2 years ago I decided to "hook-up" with my little brothers girlfriend. She got pregant, she decided to keep the baby. I lost everything. My friends abandoned me, my family cut me off, and my dad kicked me out of the house.

Her mom took me in. From the beginning Kitty was always very flirty with me. She would accidently come out in her nighty, or forget to take a towel into the shower. Shed always comment on my abs or my eyes. And she has a habit of touching me.

It has gone on like that for the past 2 years. Since then, I have spoken to my family maybe twice, and my babies mom Lexi, and I have been seriously dating.

I wasn't able to finish school, so it has been real hard holding down a job. Lexi doesn't work, and I only can work nights so I can stay at home with Jacob.

My relationship with Lexi is amazing, and I am so lucky to have her. I am also lucky to have an amazing son. I have not told Lexi that I have been borrowing money from her mom because I lost another job and I couldn't afford diapers.

I have been trying to be a better person. I sent letters to my mom and dad, and my brother. Trying to apologize for what I did. They haven't sent a response.

So yesterday, Kitty was taking me to a job interview. She said she was tired and asked me to drive. While I was driving, she started touching my hair and neck. I asked her what she was doing, she said not much, and started rubbing my inner thigh and groin area.

She asked if I wanted a blowjob while I drove. I tried to laugh it off, but she said that I knew that i wanted to F her. She knew it, and I knew it. Besides, I owed her with everything that she had done for me. She grabbed my junk and said that it was wasted on Lexi.

At this point In was SUPER nervous, uncomfortable, half panicked, but little guy was wide awake, if you know what I mean. Kitty is SUPER hot. Its like the word MILF was made for her. She also loves men. Men of varying ages. I am not judging, just stating a fact.

So I tried to de-escelate. I said to her that even if I wanted to, I couldn't do that. I used to be the kind of guy that would, without a second thought. I couldn't noe though. I couldn't lose Lexi, and I couldn't lose Jacob. At this point tears were in my eyes, and I was fighting the cracking in my voice.

She was just like ugh, or Ew, or something like that. She said that I ruined the mood. She told me to hurry up and drive, and we would continue this conversation later. When we got there, she gave me 5 dollars for the bus, and said she was leaving.

I haven't said anything to Lexi about what happened. I don't know how she would react. I am scared. I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't afford to get a place of my own. I can't lose Lexi and my son.

TL;DR My Sons, grandmother made a move on me. I turned her down for now, but I don't know how to handle it.

Milotic posted:

Don’t carry your brother’s genetic material. That’s just nasty

My [27F] brother [30M] and his husband [33M] want me to be their surrogate so they can have a baby. I want to do it but my husband [29M] is against it.

Mirthless posted:

I was being pretty jokey about the whole thing, I think you are taking this way too seriously

Mirthless posted:

maskenfreiheit posted:

quote:

My friend (my wife's best friend) has been "dating" a guy for about 9 months now, but he has been avoiding her for the past six. They still talk and text, but every time they make plans to see each other he bails and she crys herself to sleep on our couch. He works and lives about an hour away, but he does come to town to visit his other friends which obviously hurts her a lot.

She is a little overweight and has self esteem issues because of it, but otherwise isn't unattractive in the slightest. Guys have hit on her, but she always tells them that she has a boyfriend.

She knows this isn't healthy, but how do I help her see that she isn't really in a relationship and she's better off single without this emotionally abusive behavior from her "boyfriend" or with one of the other guys that actually is interested in her?

Tl;dr: "boyfriend" has avoided seeing her in person for 6 months, but she's still convinced she's in a relationship. How do I help her move on?

Shithouse Dave posted:

I grew up on rainwater collected from the roof of our house. Whatever was in the tank was all the water we had. Even with waist-length hair and a full de-body-hairing session I still can't shower for more than 10 minutes. (Don't have the waist length hair any more, shower experience vastly improved with haircut tbh).

Also Mirthless, if you spend that much time on your hair, why does it still look awful?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Oh my loving God stop talking about Mirthless's loving hair for gently caress's sake fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!

How do I (23M) help a friend realize she's (23F) single?

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [25M] accidentally said something awkward to [23F], what to do?


I hope she takes him on adventures to many glory holes so he can suck miles and miles of strange dick.

quote:

OK Reddit, I need your views on this because I’m honestly not sure what to do here.

Backstory, I’ve been married to my wife for seven years and we have been together for a further ten. I love her and brilliantly she loves me too. We have a son and our existence is cheerfully ordinary. We have a pretty good sex life and over the years we’ve done some fun things in some interesting places. We don’t have as much sex as we did but we’re pushing forty and work all hours so I’m not going to complain about that. The crucial thing in the context of this is that we have never been unfaithful to one another or included other people in our sex life.

A few days ago, we were talking after sex, my wife asked if I would hear her out on doing something she really wants to try. I agreed and she told me that she wants to watch me have sex with another woman. I was completely taken aback by this. She’s never even mentioned such a thing in seventeen years and not hinted at such an idea even when we’ve discussed fantasies. She explained, she doesn’t want to join in or even touch me while I performed the act. What really threw me though was that she went on to say that she knew the woman she wants me to do it with and that she has agreed to the idea. I know this woman a little bit- she's 27, single and my wife sings in a show choir with her and we’ve gone to some of the same events but honestly, I’ve never gone beyond pleasantries about work and the like with her.

Now, I’ll be honest, I thought this was a wind-up and effectively said so. My wife then messaged the other woman and in less than five minutes, I'd been sent confirmation that she wants to do this and a picture of her wearing very little. It turns out this woman- who for the sake of argument I’ll call Ann because it’s not her name and it’s easy to type- has a high sex drive coupled with being shy and socially awkward. She wants to get laid and my wife wants to watch it. I asked why this is a turn-on and my wife just explained that over the last few months she’s become fixated on the idea of watching me have sex with another woman.

I’m sure a few people might think this is like an early Christmas present but I’m really very reticent about going anywhere near this. Ann is attractive- not as attractive as my wife as far as I’m concerned but still pretty- and I’m flattered a woman nearly ten years my junior is interested in having sex with me but this is just a bit weird. I have no desire at all to watch my wife screw another man so would not be interested in reciprocating this if it developed further so I find the whole fantasy hard to envisage. More than anything I’m worried that it will lead to problems in the future. The idea of jeopardising my life as it is now so my wife can try a kink is a huge worry- what if she hates what she sees and this affects our physical relationship going forward? I’m also slightly weirded out about how the conversation between my wife and Ann came about in the first place- I’m not that bothered about my wife talking about our sex life, I’m sure that’s happened from the start- but I’ve no idea how it would have moved to this.

So, I need advice from strangers on how to handle this. As it stands, I am inclined to say “no” so advice on how to say this without hurting my wife’s feelings would be appreciated. If you're going to say "go for it", I'll need some clear explanations how to avoid it going weird or wrong later on.

tl;dr: My wife wants to watch me have sex with another woman. I am hugely uneasy about the consequences of doing so.

quote:

UPDATE Thanks for the feedback- there's been a wide selection of opinions which I guess comes with the territory.

My son is over seeing his friend this afternoon so I've had the chance to talk to my wife a bit more and I have a bit more of the context of this. It seems that my wife was talking to Ann at a recent post choir drinks and Ann was lamenting that since a short relationship ended nearly a year ago she's been effectively celibate. She went on to say that she envied my wife... and my wife took the leap from there. Her reason for doing so was because while my wife has developed this specific fantasy, she doesn't want me to have free choice- she wants some say in the person involved. Possibly getting ahead of herself, she worried that I would choose another friend of ours (who I won't lie, I do think is very attractive). I pointed out that until yesterday, this really wasn't an angle that I'd ever been thinking about and that she is in a relationship anyway.

Effectively, and this will seem a bit odd unless some context is involved, this is my wife applying her standard levels of preparation to everything. She felt that presenting everything in a pre-arranged way would be easier for me to get my head around. I explained that this is simply too big a jump for me to process in one go. I pointed out my worries- everything from basics like protection to what our son might think unless we were supremely careful. I'm pleased to say that she listened and understood. She apologised for running away with the planning without telling me anything. I got her to talk more about what she was expecting... and I'd be lying if I say I didn't find the idea of some of it quite hot. We ended up having sex again and very good sex is was too.

Right now, I'm not ready to just jump into this world- I still have many concerns and I think it could be a problem if we went crazy but, I'm going to talk to my wife more about this over the next few months and see where it leads. Just as importantly, I have also messaged Ann because I don't want her left feeling rejected and vulnerable. I told her, I was hugely flattered and that my holding off on this has nothing to do with her (the pic I mentioned earlier has also been deleted). I'd rather she met someone nice and had a proper relationship but depending how things go, we'll see what the future holds.