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One time I saw my cat try to jump on a table but gave it too much gas and he flew right over instead
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Jan 19, 2017 05:20
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My mom's cat got killed by like 7 other cats she went out like a badass or so I hear
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Jan 19, 2017 05:23
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Pick posted:I wish we could tell all these mommy cats that their kittens ended up in good homes after they disappeared
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Jan 19, 2017 06:12
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I know, it would seem like bullshit to explain to a barn cat that their little baby is actually super fat and never has to do any work, however someone did cut off his balls
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Jan 19, 2017 06:14
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cats dont even have syntax lol
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Jan 19, 2017 06:16
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my cat used to jump into the dishwasher right before we were going to turn it on
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Jan 19, 2017 06:22
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A friend's cat loves loves LOVES to jump into the fridge
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Jan 19, 2017 06:29
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My cat is dumb. Every time I walk him and he's done pissing, he still stops some places and lifts his leg like he's pissing but clearly nothing is coming out.
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Jan 19, 2017 06:32
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at 4 months, swallowed the entire string from a hoodie, then shat it out over a 3 day period when we were out of town she'll be celebrating her 10th birthday in July. our poor teenage cat sitter lol
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Jan 19, 2017 06:37
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Accidentally falling flat on her bum while trying to poop; then butt scooting around because she couldn't get back up. (due to arthritis  )
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Jan 19, 2017 06:40
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We had some furniture delivered via UPS. He hates the UPS guy. So for a few hours we had these big cardboard boxes full of unassembled furniture sitting by the door. He treated them like intruders and wouldn't stop barking at them. Then we went out for dinner and when we came back he had pissed on them.
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Jan 19, 2017 06:43
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He climbed up a screen door and it fell over backwards on him. The other one used to walk on the bannister in our foyer until he fell off. And the other will see me going to my room and shoot up the stairs and jump on my bed, preemptively purring and waiting for me to pet her, then I start petting her and she bats at my hand and is all "what the gently caress do you think you're doing". This happens half the time.
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Jan 19, 2017 07:13
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SHISHKABOB posted:He climbed up a screen door and it fell over backwards on him. The other one used to walk on the bannister in our foyer until he fell off. And the other will see me going to my room and shoot up the stairs and jump on my bed, preemptively purring and waiting for me to pet her, then I start petting her and she bats at my hand and is all "what the gently caress do you think you're doing". This happens half the time. Sometimes my cat goes "meow!" for a treat, but instead of chase the treat, he just flops over and goes to sleep.
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Jan 19, 2017 07:35
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mh370
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Jan 19, 2017 07:39
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Pick posted:Sometimes my cat goes "meow!" for a treat, but instead of chase the treat, he just flops over and goes to sleep. She will also follow you down the hall walking at your feet and flop on the ground right in front of you. Looking at you like "ugh pet me".
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Jan 19, 2017 08:38
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Orkin Mang posted:mh370 that darn cat.
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Jan 19, 2017 08:43
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mine can't run in a straight line because her back legs overtake her front ones.
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Jan 19, 2017 10:17
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Cat got curious about the toilet, fell into the urine-filled bowl and splashed around in a panic trying to get out, ended up soaked in piss and looked disgusted while bathing itself after. Cat started to throw up on an expensive rug, I panicked and caught the barf in my cupped hands, the smell and the warm mushy texture was so gross that then I threw up on the cat, who then proceeded to throw up a second time all over the rug. We share a lot of fluids, this cat and I.
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Jan 19, 2017 10:43
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My cat provided financial and material support for the 9/11 terror attacks
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Jan 19, 2017 11:35
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Another time he fell into the bathtub when I was in it, what a silly cat 
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Jan 19, 2017 11:37
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My friend had a cat who didn't care about anything. If it was walking down a corridor you could pick it up, put it down facing the direction it came from, it would "eh whatever, I'll walk there I guess" and go where you pointed it.
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Jan 19, 2017 11:54
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The cat my dad and I had when I was a teenager would use the neighbor's high deck railing, low garage roof, & medium- height house roof to jump over to our roof. The overhangs are only like 8 feet apart, still seemed like a long jump and I worried he would fall but if he did, he shook it off. Anyway, he'd get on our roof and the wuss out about jumping back over. He only did this at night, so we would be woken up by -scrabble thump- and his meow, which was more of a squeak. My dad would swear and back his truck up to where he could stand a ladder in the bed, even though we had a ladder that went to roof, because my dad is afraid of heights and wanted to lessen the height. Then he'd swear at the cat, who would run off, and it would take 5 minutes of my dad and I both sweet talking the cat to get him to come close enough to where my dad could grab him. He'd hand him to me, and the cat would inevitably panic and jump down and then panic more about being "trapped" in the truck bed, he would do three or four fast laps before jumping out, often over the cab of the truck. I learned to steady the ladder so the zooming cat didn't throw my dad off balance. Eventually the cat got up there and my dad was like "gently caress it, he got up there, he can get down." Several hours later, the cat was meowing at my window, and when I let him in he had a royal air of someone who had been deeply betrayed by their most trusted servants. He would also attack you in the dark space between the back door of the house and the giant garage my dad built the second he retired. Full-on claws-in-jeans, hanging on for dear life for a few seconds before bolting back into the darkness. My dad solved that by putting up more motion sensor lights. I vividly remember, when he was just a kitten, him trying to lope up the two steps to the front porch. Something went wrong, I think he forgot the porch was an step up. Anyway, he hit the third step, the porch,at chest height and went rolling along the porch. Then he turned around and gave me a lovely look, because I was walking with him and that made it my fault, I guess. The cat we had during my tween years, which we lost due to lovely neighbors being loving shitheads, managed to land wrong jumping down from a low end table and fracture her forearm. The vet gave her a pink cast, and she was the most feral, gently caress-you, unladylike cat ever. I teased her about it. She also encountered me sitting on the porch one evening, bent forward in the chair with my long hair thrown over my face, because I was brushing it. I have no idea what she thought I was, but I'm minding my own business one second, brushing my hair and being pleased with how long I'd grown it, and the next moment my scalp is all needlepains. I screamed and fell over, cat (her name was Calico because I was an inventive fifth grader) takes off, and my dad comes running, ready to gently caress someone up. I learned not to do that. Current cat, Katya, is pitch-black, and is unaware our carpet is very light. She huddles at the bottom of the stairs in broad daylight and thinks no one can see her. Same for corners that aren't that dark, even at night. This gives me the pleasure of going "raaaaahhh" at her when I catch sight of her butt doing the pre-pounce wiggle and she comes flying out at me. Cats are not good at aborting missions, so I love watching them try.
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Jan 19, 2017 12:05
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Sponge Baathist posted:One time I saw my cat try to jump on a table but gave it too much gas and he flew right over instead Just to clarify on this, he definitely had landing gear down and it was the second time it happened that week so I was watching for it.
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Jan 19, 2017 12:05
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he got stuck in a roof for 2 days and I had to get the fire department to get him out stupid cat
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Jan 19, 2017 12:05
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Pick posted:A friend's cat loves loves LOVES to jump into the fridge one of my sister's cats figured out how to open the fridge, go inside and steal food. it can also use the toilet. cats should never be that smart.
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Jan 19, 2017 12:12
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meet girls at the store posted:Cat got curious about the toilet, fell into the urine-filled bowl and splashed around in a panic trying to get out, ended up soaked in piss and looked disgusted while bathing itself after. lmao this is amazing
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Jan 19, 2017 12:16
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i was watching planet earth and my cat loving tried to kill a flamingo that was on the screen. jumped off the sofa and tried to attack the screen. stupid poo poo
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Jan 19, 2017 12:19
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the cat i had as a kid was completely indifferent to television, with one exception. whenever data from tng was on, she was enraptured.
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Jan 19, 2017 12:25
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My roommate's cat poked her head through the loop on a paper bag (similar to the one shown here) She started panicking and tearing around the house, not understanding that she was pulling the bag along with her. After making an unholy racket she managed to wedge herself into a partially unfinished basement wall and it was a huge pain to get her out. Unfortunately I only heard the noises and saw the aftermath, I would have loved to see this dumbass cat running around like an idiot.
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Jan 19, 2017 12:29
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My cat is cool af.
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Jan 19, 2017 12:41
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meet girls at the store posted:Cat started to throw up on an expensive rug, I panicked and caught the barf in my cupped hands, the smell and the warm mushy texture was so gross that then I threw up on the cat, who then proceeded to throw up a second time all over the rug. hahahhh groossssss
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Jan 19, 2017 18:22
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Fat gently caress Henry gets in the litter box, hangs his rear end out the door because he is a furry zeppelin, and pees on the floor.' Then he'll look at it, act surprised, and run away.
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Jan 19, 2017 18:32
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i had two cats and both were like super geniuses for cats dont really have many dumb cat stories tbh. the second one literally learned how to communicate with humans by the end of her life and started petting people . ive heard the cat my family had when i was like a baby was a loving retard but i barely remember that cat (like it would forget where its food was and stuff)
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Jan 19, 2017 18:35
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:one of my sister's cats figured out how to open the fridge, go inside and steal food. it can also use the toilet. cats should never be that smart. Some cats are just too smart, it's weird. My family's first cat was an old, previously stray Maine Coon and that cat knew everything. My dad's current cat is overall pretty dumb but does know how to knock on the door to be let in. It sounds like a person and it's super creepy.
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Jan 19, 2017 18:38
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My cat used to be pretty agile. She would get up on top of the armoire and chill like a villain, but none of us were tall enough to get her down so she'd have to stay up there a few more hours than she'd like to until we got the stepladder One time we got her down, she took a poo poo, then went right back up. When she started mewing to be taken down again, we just went out to dinner and a movie. It didn't smell too good when we got back.
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Jan 19, 2017 18:40
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Took 11 years to figure out how to pull open cupboard doors.
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Jan 19, 2017 18:47
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A few years ago, it was near the end of winter and I had a beard. It was time to shave it off and I did. The weather was getting niceish and I had the front door open. What I didn't know is that I didn't close the screen door all the way and it was open a crack. My orange cat got out and I didn't realize it til like 30 minutes later. I went out looking for him, and found him huddled under the neighbor's deck. He is kinda skittish to begin with, and having just shaved, this dipshit didn't know it was me, so panicked when I was approaching and bolted. I spent a half hour looking for him and then gave up. I slept on the couch near the door in hopes he would come back. At 4am the next morning I was woken up to desperate "MROW MROOOOOW MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW" coming from outside. Sure enough, the dipshit had come home! This cat was declawed by previous owners so he's really loving lucky he made it through the night. I gave him some treats and then a bath. He has never tried to run away since. Also one of my other cats set her tail on fire when she walked over a candle. They eat each other's vomit too!
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Jan 19, 2017 19:00
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Pick posted:Some cats are just too smart, it's weird. My family's first cat was an old, previously stray Maine Coon and that cat knew everything. yeah dude that was one of the super smart cats i had, it was a maine coone. she seriously knew too much
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Jan 19, 2017 19:32
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSaZ9jkgMPA
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Jan 19, 2017 20:48
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that video is terrible and you should be ashamed that you are alive
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Jan 19, 2017 20:59
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