As a rich person I laugh out loud every time a poor person tells a slightly

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Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I purchased the copyright to Das Kapital, so I earn a cool ten bux every time some pauper wants to read about how much I'm loving them.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 18:54

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# ? May 26, 2024 22:54

Salacious Spy: May 29, 2010; Well the word got around they said this kid is insane, man
Banged in the mouth and now he's got AIDS, man

every Saturday my procurer procures for me a fresh, nubile young man still flush with the optimism and energy of youth, just so I can watch the thirst for life flicker and die inside of him as he realizes the power of wealth is absolute and the virtue of hard work and social mobility is but a sweet lie the unfortunate use to rock themselves to sleep at night. then I consume his gonads and intestines to prolong my own parasitic existence.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 19:30

Salacious Spy: May 29, 2010; Well the word got around they said this kid is insane, man
Banged in the mouth and now he's got AIDS, man

originally I had to pay off or otherwise persuade their families into cooperation to avoid unpleasantness but in this enlightened age of permissive government my family lawyer can simply crush them between the cogs of the judicial system until the will to fight is wrung from them entirely

# ? Apr 9, 2018 19:32

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

The real value's in strap-on boot-straps.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 19:32

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

lol if you don't hack the world financial system and add a dozen zeros after all your balances.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 19:35

Gone Fission: Apr 7, 2007; We're here to make coffee metal. We're here to make everything metal.

Hell Yeah posted:

that's what you think op, but when i get back on my feet I'm going to BE RICH OFF OF MY FISH OIL MAIL ORDER BUSINESS. THAT'S RIGHT I'M GOING TO BE A SIX FIGURE MAN AND I WON'T HAVE TO EAT WITH THESE POORS AT THE NOODLES & CO.

20$ for a bowl of mac and cheese, i mean a poor has 20$ but that's a deluxe loving bowl of mac and cheese

# ? Apr 9, 2018 20:01

Gone Fission: Apr 7, 2007; We're here to make coffee metal. We're here to make everything metal.

A Fancy Hat posted:

Hard work is the only solution to poverty, you dumb-dumbs.

My father, whom I address as Mr. Father, gave me a small loan of 2 million dollars upon completion of my schooling at Royal Fart Oaks Academy. I was 18 and, using that small loan of 2 million dollars, purchased a small home with a value of 1 million dollars.

I began working in Mr. Father's bootstrap factory that same year, as an assistant manager. Within 2 weeks I had proven myself capable and became floor manager. With a tidy salary of 300k a year. A pittance compared to Mr. Father, but a good way to learn the value of a dollar.

I work very hard, I'm on that factory floor at least an hour a week. Sometimes during our busy season I'll be there 3 or even 4 hours a week. And do I ask for overtime? No. I don't allow my employees to have overtime so why should I ask for the same?

So don't you DARE speak to me about how the wealthy have things handed to them.

Sid Vicious posted:

I guess in a way I'm rich then

no lol

# ? Apr 9, 2018 20:04

Gone Fission: Apr 7, 2007; We're here to make coffee metal. We're here to make everything metal.

unpleasantly turgid posted:

"paid"

look at this stupid baby, he isn't even a trust-fund child

i guess this means you're rich, you have time to make jokes that I already made

# ? Apr 9, 2018 20:13

ferroque: Oct 27, 2007

How do you even meet rich people? I don't know any as I am a poor.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 20:42

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I think you are supposed to call out their names three times before a gold rimmed mirror, in complete darkness. Then they pop out and steal your assets.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 20:53

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Colonel Cancer posted:

The real value's in strap-on boot-straps.

If you invent the better bootstrap, the world will beat a path to your door.

You will create wealth and value in a place where before there was none.

Then the internet will accuse you off hoarding and wish you were in a guillotine.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 21:03

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Kuato posted:

Demonachizer is a rich goon. He doesn’t post much anymore I don’t think. Too busy doing rich people poo poo to post.

I suspect OP is a scum sucking peasant like the rest of us

Demonachizer was a better poster when his posts were literally illegible

# ? Apr 9, 2018 21:10

drilldo squirt: Aug 18, 2006; a beautiful, soft meat sack; Clapping Larry

Pawn 17 posted:

lol if you don't hack the world financial system and add a dozen zeros after all your balances.

Laugh out loud if you need to hack it to do that.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 21:19

drilldo squirt: Aug 18, 2006; a beautiful, soft meat sack; Clapping Larry

"Wonder whats so bad about monday?" - Me, as I drive around without a care in the world around middle class neighborhoods so I can laugh at the poor thinking they are better than other slightly poorer people.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 21:23

The Dennis System: Aug 4, 2014; Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

White Phosphorus posted:

Time is the most precious thing you have along with your healthy body. Selling time for money is basically rape.

My time is completely worthless.

# ? Apr 9, 2018 21:28

Obsidianheart: Apr 26, 2017; Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

Is a 'poo poo tone' like a 'brown note'?

# ? Apr 9, 2018 23:36

Lena Dunham: Sep 19, 2017

drilldo squirt posted:

Just earned more than most peoples anual incomes from old investments while i smoked weed and masturbated last night.

if you were truly wealthy some gold digger would be trying to jack ur sperm

Only poors masturbate. Thread debunked.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 00:30

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

bring back the guillotine unironically

# ? Apr 10, 2018 00:36

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

ferroque posted:

How do you even meet rich people? I don't know any as I am a poor.

My sons bf is from his baseball team, traveling team poo poo not high school team, his dad owns a billion dollar company that is in trucking. Another friend took him on several trips to Colorado and Switzerland to snowboard. It�s bizarre how they live. Kids seem normal and mine just shrugs and says dads rich, so what.

The Switzerland mofo took my kid to his first football game when I was out of town tho. It was in club press box poo poo so I can never live up again.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 00:50

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

Burt Sexual posted:

The Switzerland mofo took my kid to his first football game when I was out of town tho. It was in club press box poo poo so I can never live up again.

That's just wrong. Sue him for millions for spoiling your child.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 04:11

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

another gassed thread thanks to the gas master drilldo squirt :cool:

# ? Apr 10, 2018 04:26

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULeDlxa3gyc

# ? Apr 10, 2018 04:45

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

1gnoirents posted:

What kind of defective meatshoe has the jerky drawer on the foot side

# ? Apr 10, 2018 04:47

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

I�m gonna let you poors in on a little joke. It is literally impossible to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, leverage doesn�t work that way. The entire metaphor is a gag. Just like the literal version, it�s just not gonna happen.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 06:36

Gone Fission: Apr 7, 2007; We're here to make coffee metal. We're here to make everything metal.

The Management posted:

I�m gonna let you poors in on a little joke. It is literally impossible to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, leverage doesn�t work that way. The entire metaphor is a gag. Just like the literal version, it�s just not gonna happen.

it worked for Ragged Dick, a totally real person who was not a fictional character and who is often cited as justification for policy by reactionaries in government, much like Jack Bauer or Batman

# ? Apr 10, 2018 07:34

Gone Fission: Apr 7, 2007; We're here to make coffee metal. We're here to make everything metal.

pulling yourself up by the bootblacks

# ? Apr 10, 2018 07:37

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I used to light my cigar with a burning 500� bill, but now that I'm in serious money I only light it with a flame from a rocket that takes an automobile into space.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 14:07

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Gone Fission posted:

pulling yourself up by the bootblacks

# ? Apr 10, 2018 14:07

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

The Management posted:

I�m gonna let you poors in on a little joke. It is literally impossible to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, leverage doesn�t work that way. The entire metaphor is a gag. Just like the literal version, it�s just not gonna happen.

I bet Goku could do it he's strong as gently caress

# ? Apr 10, 2018 15:33

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

As a poor person I proudly identify with uncaring corporations. My Calvin peeing on a Chevy logo shows I support the ford corporation. Pfffft, Chevy.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 16:18

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

ferroque posted:

How do you even meet rich people? I don't know any as I am a poor.

you don't, as the rich go *heavily* out of their way to avoid contact with poor people. poor people are a bummer generally and a reminder that their easy life is made possible by incalculable amounts of human misery specifically

watch the next time an employee or servant tries accidentally "humanizes" themselves to an owner with a personal anecdote about how their life is hard because money isn't just a magic trick for them. the owner's eyes will glaze over and you can see the psychological suppression reaction take over

TenementFunster fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Apr 10, 2018

# ? Apr 10, 2018 21:50

curlys gold: Jan 17, 2018

as a rich person i laugh out loud because i buy the same tacky poo poo as poor people but just more of it

# ? Apr 10, 2018 22:47

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

curlys gold posted:

as a rich person i laugh out loud because i buy the same tacky poo poo as poor people but just more of it

it's amazing what percent of actual rich people this actually describes. it's all orthodontists and general contractors and commercial real estate people who make $400,000 a year but still live in Castle Rock, Colorado or some poo poo exurb so the only place they have to spend all that money is at Cheesecake Factory and the Escalade dealership and their wives all have $60,000 collections of pandora charms. and everybody else in their lovely exurb thinks they are gonna be like that some day if they keep pulling up their bootstraps. it's why trump won.

# ? Apr 11, 2018 09:25

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# ? May 26, 2024 22:54

A CRAB IRL: May 6, 2009; If you're looking for me, you better check under the sea

soy posted:

Just get rich enough so you don�t have to stress about survival, everything past that is diminishing returns.

Bit of a difference between "I have a moderate emergency fund and a decent salary" and "I never have to work and can do whatever I want, wherever I want, for the rest of my life with absolutely no limitations"

# ? Apr 11, 2018 10:13

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > As a rich person I laugh out loud every time a poor person tells a slightly

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