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Derpies posted:lol 3 try 30 with todays millenials 
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Apr 9, 2021 05:01
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Spinz posted:Periods are truly stupid. No WAY was that the best way to get ready for babies. One time, my uterus decided to do some spring cleaning (menorrhagia) and just started dumping blood one fine morning at 5 AM. Like, literally pouring. I felt my insides suddenly drop and then I was bleeding like mad. I figured out I was losing about 10-12 ml of blood an hour. Really didn't wanna go to the hospital because I didn't have insurance. So I figured if this went on for 2 days, I'd be down a full pint and would just have to loving eat the cost. My normal anemia went into overdrive. I couldn't sit up, my limbs went numb and since even the best tampons I had wouldn't last an hour, I laid on a goddamn puppy training pad and had dreamy thoughts about how bleeding out like this wouldn't be the worst way to die. Vaguely remember lying in the shower and watch the water turn red every 7-10 minutes. Finally stopped exorcising blood 36 hours in. In short, I hate my uterus and being poor in the US is hell.
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Apr 9, 2021 05:05
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Human teeth loving suck. No matter how well you take care of them and brush and floss and cleanse them well and eat the right nutritious food and drink, they still get cavities and fall apart over time. We should have, like, baby teeth, young adult teeth, midlife teeth, older adult teeth, and elderly teeth as a cheat so we always have fresh teeth in our head for a lifetime.
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Apr 9, 2021 05:06
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our dumb bodies can just die from something as simple as taking a lot of drugs, smh
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Apr 9, 2021 05:06
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The Management posted:Nature intended you to have hairy balls. Not like a nice soft ball of fuzz. Long, sparse, gross hairs I believe this thread has already established that nature actively hates us and wants us to die so doing what it intends is treason against the Revolution.
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Apr 9, 2021 05:21
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when i think about the unstoppable catastrophe of climate change as mankind's revenge against nature for creation, i feel a little better about it
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Apr 9, 2021 05:26
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When all the humans die out, who's the next big thing? My money's on the leaf cutter ants. Those dudes have agriculture already!!! We are holding them back IMO
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Apr 9, 2021 05:47
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It's easy to be braggadocios about a loud burp, but if you let out a loud fart, you get laughed at. I guess the compromise there is the poop comes out of your butt instead of your mouth. Imagine doing a big diarrhea out of your mouth lol
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Apr 9, 2021 05:55
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Hey guy, just for fun we installed a time bomb in your appendix. Maybe it’ll never go off. Or maybe one day it’ll decide to kill you. If it does you have a few hours to get to a surgeon before you’re dead. Good luck.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:18
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Imagine only having two testicles lmao
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Apr 9, 2021 06:22
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Colonel Cancer posted:Imagine only having two testicles lmao The organs that produce my gametes, literally the entire reason evolution made me? Yeah, they’re just hanging outside my torso in a bag of skin, completely undefended against kicks or baseballs or angry dogs. Sometimes they twist themselves around and cut off the circulation and then die.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:30
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That's why you should never settle for anything less than quads.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:33
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Colonel Cancer posted:That's why you should never settle for anything less than quads. We should probably move them inside too. Maybe have them pop out for special occasions.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:41
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Nerves are really loving stupid. Like if you blow out your back or get arthritis or something, the body should be able to shut those dickheads up but nope they are programmed like a car alarm that never goes off. I know something is wrong, you told me nerves, acknowledged, now shut up. I agree with OP, horrible design.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:46
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Prof. Crocodile posted:now that you mention babies, it's weird how useless they are for like... 3 years or something? like they can't survive alone in the wild in even the mildest climate. basically we come out not fully done because our stupid loving huge rear end heads we need for our brain can barely make it out of our pregnant mothers in the first place and any longer we'd get stuck. It's still not a great situation. Pretty fail species IMO.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:47
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The comedy of man starts like this Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips And so Nature, she divines this alternative We emerged half-formed and hope that whoever greets us on the other end Is kind enough to fill us in And, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron-deficient So somebody's got to go kill something while I look after the kids I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk? He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch
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Apr 9, 2021 06:51
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It would make more sense if the entire bottom of the foot was covered in toenail rather than the toes, then we wouldn't step on sharp things all the time
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Apr 9, 2021 06:56
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Yeah it’s honestly like a bunch of rabbits got together and sourced out a bunch of copper and zinc (the tastiest metals) and made wires for a potato battery and squeezed a bunch of lemon juice in it and the fastest rabbit with the biggest dick ate the potato and had some weird super sensitive flesh fantasy fever dream and dragged everyone else into it as part animal/part technology and were all just crafting and programming this pleasure/agony scale and avoiding cannibalism. 
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Apr 9, 2021 07:25
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kntfkr posted:Nerves are really loving stupid. Like if you blow out your back or get arthritis or something, the body should be able to shut those dickheads up but nope they are programmed like a car alarm that never goes off. I know something is wrong, you told me nerves, acknowledged, now shut up. I agree with OP, horrible design. Root canals are pretty funny if you think about it. At some point there was a dentist that was metal enough to go “Your teeth won’t stop hurting? Screw it, what if we just ripped all the nerves out of them motherfuckers?” The human body is terrible, just hurry up and get the tech to rip my brain out and put it in a robot
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Apr 9, 2021 07:39
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Meme Poker Party posted:Humans got a fail body but the best brain. Therefore the perfect creature would only be half-human, and half something else. This way they have the brains of a human but the physical perfection (grace, strength, endurance) of something else. I'd say octopus except you should also use the octopus brain. Just throw out the human.
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Apr 9, 2021 08:21
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The Lone Badger posted:I'd say octopus except you should also use the octopus brain. Just throw out the human. That’s speciest.
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Apr 9, 2021 08:51
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Eh, stop whining, humans live longer than most animals - so thats a thing at least.
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Apr 9, 2021 08:52
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Sekenr posted:Eh, stop whining, humans live longer than most animals - so thats a thing at least. Yeah but those jellyfish and sharks and whales and turtles are all laughing at us.
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Apr 9, 2021 08:56
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Bad Purchase posted:smaller balls than a pig, come on And our penises are just basic tubes. The corkscrew or duck style crazy straw gives a much better surface area to volume ratio
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Apr 9, 2021 09:07
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what kind of evil god makes MSG so delicious but designs a cardiovascular system that can't handle it?!
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Apr 9, 2021 09:52
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OMFG FURRY posted:what kind of evil god makes MSG so delicious but designs a cardiovascular system that can't handle it?! Try autolysed yeast extract.
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Apr 9, 2021 10:11
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Look at you, human: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors.
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Apr 9, 2021 12:25
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Yeah it’s honestly like a bunch of rabbits got together and sourced out a bunch of copper and zinc (the tastiest metals) and made wires for a potato battery and squeezed a bunch of lemon juice in it and the fastest rabbit with the biggest dick ate the potato and had some weird super sensitive flesh fantasy fever dream and dragged everyone else into it as part animal/part technology and were all just crafting and programming this pleasure/agony scale and avoiding cannibalism. y-yeah...
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Apr 9, 2021 12:44
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I dunno titties are pretty great
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Apr 9, 2021 13:05
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OK so if I have to eat all the time, why does my body penalize me for simply being efficient by eating it all at once? I should be getting more free time not gout. Also think how much extra time we'd save by just having women lay eggs. Men already masturbate; fertilization solved. 
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Apr 9, 2021 13:19
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The Management posted:Good point. We have some of the best masturbating setups of any animal. Can’t suck your own dick, though. Wait, there are people whose dicks are not long enough that they can suck it themselves? God, you poor bastards.
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Apr 9, 2021 13:28
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Just aging until you die. Owned.
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Apr 9, 2021 13:29
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Chief McHeath posted:It's easy to be braggadocios about a loud burp, but if you let out a loud fart, you get laughed at. 
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Apr 9, 2021 13:32
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Just lol if you don't let your toe and fingernails grow out like Abiyoyo
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Apr 9, 2021 13:40
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The Management posted:Sinuses are snot tunnels in your face. Because your face needs tunnels full of snot to get congested sometimes and serve no other function. Chief McHeath posted:It's easy to be braggadocios about a loud burp, but if you let out a loud fart, you get laughed at.
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Apr 9, 2021 13:54
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so eating your boogers is like drinking bong water
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Apr 9, 2021 13:57
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The human brain actually kinda sucks rear end. It's programmed to be as lazy as loving possible and needs a minute of sleep for every 2 minutes awake lmao. Not to mention insanely easy addiction and rampant mental problems.
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Apr 9, 2021 14:21
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i stink, therefore i am
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Apr 9, 2021 14:32
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:I dunno titties are pretty great I really like the ladie’s squiggle tbh. It’s all like a freeze frame of an old man’s lips as he laughs at the best joke ever told. 
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Apr 9, 2021 14:50
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| # ? May 27, 2024 23:20 |
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Mozi posted:so eating your boogers is like drinking bong water
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Apr 9, 2021 14:51
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