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Kevin fills a super soaker with hairspray and tapes a grill lighter the bottom with the trigger superglued, he then proceeds to incinerate the burglars and they spend the rest of the movie trying to escape the home of this flamethrowing hellchild.
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Jun 2, 2021 00:14
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| # ? May 28, 2024 15:52 |
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Kevin hides under the bed and as Marv walks past he slices through his Achilles tendon with a straight razor
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Jun 2, 2021 00:14
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Kevin shoots Marv and Harry with powerful rays that make them mpreg...and insanely horny for each other. How will they adjust to their new roles as fathers and lovers when the time comes for their babies to come out of their penises?
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Jun 2, 2021 00:22
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EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS HOME ALONE AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START SETTING THE TRAPS ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, KEVIN. I MAKE EVERY TRAP AND I MAKE EVERY TRAP HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME WET BANDITS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED KEVIN'S HOUSE. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN GBS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN GBS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
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Jun 2, 2021 00:35
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Kevin leaves a nearly solved Lament Configuration out in the open on a table with a note of ‘DON’T TOUCH!” on it. Harry and Marv, believing they’re smarter than Kevin yell out “You can’t fool us, kid!” and proceed to solve the puzzle box. Hooked chains erupt from the box to painfully pierce each man’s flesh until they’re ripped apart violently in a spray of blood. Kevin high fives the Cenobites for helping keep his home safe.
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Jun 2, 2021 00:42
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A box with a big red button that says "Don't press". When you press it an extendable boxing glove flies out holding a gun that shoots you.
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Jun 2, 2021 00:42
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While casing the neighborhood for homes with dark windows and no vehicles, Marv's eyes fall on the McAllister home. At that exact moment their van explodes into a flaming, twisted heap of metal as Kevin's rocket-propelled grenade detonates immediately upon impacting the windshield.
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Jun 2, 2021 01:39
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Vim Fuego posted:Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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Jun 2, 2021 01:49
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Harry trips a wire that makes a catapult propel a steak onto Harry’s butt and then a dog shows up and bites Harry in the butt and Harry exclaims, “A dog just bit me in the butt!”
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Jun 2, 2021 01:57
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Harry and Marv crack open a window using Marvin's crowbar and crawl through. To their surprise, Kevin isn't home. They dance from room to room, taking delight in how many valuables they're able to stuff into their loot bags. Finally, they get to Kevin's room. The door slams shut, and a heavy metal bar swings in place, sealing it from the outside. The windows are closed and boarded up. How did they miss that while they were casing the joint? Finally, the small tube television in Kevin's room turns on, seemingly of its own volition. Kevin, wearing a Jigsaw mask, holds up his Talkboy, and plays it in slow motion, deepening and distorting the voice on the recording. "The Wet Bandits. You've lived your lives taking what you want from others, never caring for the consequences. You turn on the faucets of your victim and plug up their drains, destroying their homes and their livelihoods. Tonight, I will take something from you. You'll find out what kind of harm running water can do. It's time to reap the consequences of your actions." The camera pans to two glass cases. To Marv's horror, his wife is tied up inside one, and water is beginning to fill the chamber. Harry screams as he realizes his children are in the other, likewise bound. "Daddy, daddy!" they wail, as the water pours in. "In twenty minutes," the recording continues, "the water will fill the chambers completely. Your wife, Marvin, and your children, Harold, will drown. Unless you play my game." The two begin to scramble around the room, looking for a way out, breaking the glass attempting to kick out the window glass, pounding on the from filling Marvin's wife's chamber. Likewise, Marvin's key will stop the water from drowning Harold's children. Once one transponder is used, the other will no longer function. You now have seventeen minutes. Good luck, Wet Bandits." The screams of his children echo in Harry's head as he anxious eyes dart towards shards of broken glass. Marvin was already hefting his sturdy crowbar. edit: also at some point they discover a dildo jackhammer to fight with Smugworth fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Jun 2, 2021 |
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Jun 2, 2021 02:31
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Kevin paints two bombs to look like huge titties and Harry and Marv see the bombs and are all like “Whaaaoooooo dang look at dem titties homina homina awoogah!” By the time they notice the burning wicks sticking out of the nipples it’s too late.
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Jun 2, 2021 18:41
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Dildo attached to a jackhammer on a lever that swings down from behind after they open a door.
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Jun 2, 2021 18:53
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A ladder with a rung that triggers a dildo on a jackhammer that rides on the rails to shoot up at high speed
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Jun 2, 2021 19:12
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A rope strung between the house window and the tree house, that Marv and Harry must cross, with nothing but dildos on jackhammers running beneath them
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Jun 2, 2021 19:14
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Kevin’s first order of business as President is to build a wall around the McCalister house to keep Harry and Marv from entering the house illegally.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:21
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I'm sensing a theme.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:21
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i demand a story credit
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Jun 2, 2021 19:28
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Kevin shuts off the power to the containment grid in the basement releasing the concentrated psycho spiritual energy entrapped there. This opens a portal which releases Gozer the Destructor who, just prior to bringing about the apocalypse and destroying all of humanity, turns Harry and Marv into marshmallows and then promptly incinerates them. 
Harry_Potato fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Jun 2, 2021 |
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Jun 2, 2021 19:37
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Kevin encases Harry's stapler in jello and mugs the Marv.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:47
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Kevin uses a three trigrams seal written in his own blood to summon Mammon and orders the daemon to devour the flesh and souls of Harry and Marv.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:48
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Who What Now posted:Kevin encases Harry's stapler in jello and mugs the Marv. kevin covers the stairs with gasoline, causing marv and harry to trip and knock themselves out!! that scamp!!! when they awake they are tied to two chairs, facing kevin, who is calmy sitting on a stool, a table covered with a sheet next to him. kevin smiles and slowly pulls the sheet away, revealing the dvds of home alone 4, 5 and 6. "boys, its time for some home movies"
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Jun 2, 2021 19:50
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Kevin uses a scroll of Horrid Wilting, which deals 15d6 damage.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:51
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Kevin installs a Tarantula equipped with twin-linked heavy bolters in the bathroom. Fortunately for Harry his storm shield gives him a 3++ save and he easily survives the shooting phase and is able to make his charge the following battle round.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:53
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Kevin tricks Harry and Marv out of the titles to their cars.
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Jun 2, 2021 19:55
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Kevin sets up two pneumatic nail guns directly at eye level and attached them to a string tied to a door
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Jun 2, 2021 20:00
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kevin, symbol of the wealthy land owning bourgeoisie, brutally murders two proletariats as they try to feed their families
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Jun 2, 2021 20:01
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Kevin convinces Harry and Marv they're actually Harold and Maude, leading the two to bang and drive recklessly.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:03
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Kevin ties dozens of light tubes together and hangs it from top of the stairs. When Harry and Marv head up the staircase, Kevin releases the ingenious trap. The Wet Bandits have dozens of glass tubes shatter on their bodies, embedding shards of glass deep into their skin. Marv even has a large shard slice into an artery, causing him to instantly pass out from massive blood loss.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:05
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harry and marv ransack the empty house, filling their loot pillowcases ("why don't we use backpacks marv" asks harry?. marv tells him to shut up). finishing upstairs, they venture into the basement, hoping that there's a well-stocked family room for them to pillage. as they walk down the steps they hear the basement door swing shut behind them and lock, and the lights come on. descending cautiously now, they reach the bottom steps and gasp in horror: before them is a pile of bodies, dozens, and all of them bear their faces: marv, his features barely visible behind the burns. harry, riddled with nails. marv his skull crushed, deformed, the cavity reminiscent of a bowling ball. harry, eyes open in a silent scream, his nose and mouth covered in glue. a top the pile of corpses stand a child, grinning from ear-to-ear.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:08
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The cops try to navigate the McCalister home and have to call in the bomb squad.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:10
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Owlspiracy posted:i demand a story credit You'll notice in your story, Marv's wife and Marv's kids are in peril, and must choose. In my story, Marv's wife and Harry's kids are in peril, and they must choose between them (likely by combat) Request denied Full Metal Jackass posted:Dildo attached to a jackhammer These are great, keep them coming! Do you have a Patreon so we can support your art Smugworth fucked around with this message at 20:37 on Jun 2, 2021 |
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Jun 2, 2021 20:23
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Harry gets stuck looking in the dryer and Kevin comes up behind him and plugs a line from the air compressor into his anus. Harry begins to inflate while Marv peeks unseen around the corner, watching and masturbating.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:35
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*marv and Harry awake to the sounds of Orinoco Flow (sail away) by Enya, realizing their arms are bound and they’re hanging from a cable from the ceiling*
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Jun 2, 2021 20:39
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Kevin preps an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that starts when someone opens a door and ends by pulling the trigger of a shotgun. But it's a fake-out. The shotgun isn't loaded. The real trap was a nerve toxin he carefully painted onto the door's handle.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:44
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Trapped on the lawn by dozens of devilishly barbed and well disguised punji sticks, the wet bandits can do nothing but scream for mercy as Kevin rounds the block on a steamroller.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:47
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Kevin puts a fur suit on a robot and has it bump into Harry from behind and takes a picture at such an angle that it looks like the robot is butt-loving Harry and then Kevin uploads the picture to the internet and now everyone thinks Harry is a furry but the joke's on Kevin this time because Harry is actually a scaly and likes to post lamia porn in every GBS thread he can find.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:51
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Through social engineering, Kevin becomes a moderator on Harry & Marv favorite forum whereupon he repeatedly probates their accounts.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:53
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Marv opens a door and fart powder falls on Harry and Marv and now Harry and Marv smell like farts.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:55
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a sack of bricks falls onto Marv's head as he opens the door, crushing the man's skull. His body moves slightly under mass, but the blood pooling around his head indicates he is in his final moments. The audience squeals with delight. It is 1990 and the movie receives a PG rating by the Motion Picture Association rating system.
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Jun 2, 2021 20:58
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| # ? May 28, 2024 15:52 |
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Kevin darts both Marv and Harry with tranquilizer, causing them to pass out. When they awaken, they are sitting in front of the heated backyard pool... And their arms and legs have been removed, leaving bloody gauze around their stumps. Marv begins screaming in shock. Behind them, they hear Kevin's voice, though they cannot turn to see him. "What do you call two men with no arms or legs floating in a pool? "B...Bob...Bobs..." Harry manages to mutter out of quivering lips, understandably terrified. "Wrong! They're called the Wet Bandits!" Kevin responds excitedly as he kicks the two into the pool and cackles.
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Jun 2, 2021 21:01
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