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fartin's good
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Dec 11, 2021 09:47
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| # ? May 26, 2024 08:38 |
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One time I pooped and there was a fart behind the poop that caused it to be launched out as a jet propelled poop
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Dec 11, 2021 10:30
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A goon who fart in he own mouth... he a shameful goon.
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Dec 11, 2021 10:35
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Hey OP remember when you pulled your own teeth out? Tell us about that again.
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Dec 11, 2021 11:09
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BigBadSteve posted:Fart into her mouth to power her up. That's how you load up burps you dumbass, you gotta blow into her butthole
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Dec 11, 2021 11:50
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One time when I was like 12 I farted at Tae Kwon Do and it stank so loving bad that everyone including the instructor rushed for the one door in the room to escape my poo poo gas and I thought it was so funny I couldn't even pretend it wasn't me and I just cackled on the floor like a dying witch for a full minute. Thanks for giving me a chance to relive the moment I peaked OP
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Dec 11, 2021 11:51
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When I was suffering from colitis and had dysentery, I would drink water and poo poo pure clear water or of my butt five minutes later while also farting a lot. Aside from the fact that I was making GBS threads to death it was pretty funny how much farting I was doing.
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Dec 11, 2021 14:51
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i was vegan for 5 years and now im completely immune. Nothing affects me. I can eat anything I want with nary a toot. I can eat Jerusalem artichoke at three meals in one day and I get nothing. It’s horrible. If anyone knows how I can ruin my gut biome and become a human being again please let me know
ChunTheUnavoidable fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Dec 11, 2021 |
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Dec 11, 2021 14:58
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I still think about this goon’s fart story frequently and it never fails to bring a giggle fit on  :quote:Last night at the bar a regular told me his neighbor (another regular) had died Monday morning. As the initial shock hit me I felt the sudden onset of pressure. While distraught and asking about the particulars of the death, the pressure built up to where I felt like I was going to poo poo a beach ball. Somehow in the middle of a very serious conversation I managed to release the fart like a pinhole leak in a balloon, deftly disguising my grunts of relief like, "Urrrrrgh... man that's so terrible.(fweeeeeeeeee) I mean mmmmmmmgh... for him to go so suddenly like that.(eeeeeeeeee) Gaaaaaaaah, how is everyone taking it? (eeeeeeeerrrrrrp). The fart finally concluded and I went off somewhere out of the public eye to expel the rest of the gas. I scurried into the kitchen, looked at the cook and made a sound in my trousers that is most accurately described as James Earl Jones exclaiming the word "BLACK!" in a very surprised tone. Best fart story ever.
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Dec 11, 2021 15:40
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyMUSzUQYTo
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Dec 11, 2021 17:04
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just farting, tooting, and rooting for the cowboys, Go Cowboys
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Dec 11, 2021 17:16
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I think it's weird that some people can't fart silently, but I've never been very fat either. Like once every few months I'll let one rip and be sitting in a way where I can't help it, but 99% of the time I can just lean and slowly release. I also feel like I barely farted before puberty, I remember being a kid and part of the reason I didn't think farts were that funny was that it was totally unfamiliar to me. Farting was like as common as throwing up or something. But now I'm grown up and I fart a lot, maybe it's because I was a picky eater as a kid. This has been my fart post.
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Dec 11, 2021 17:44
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https://v.redd.it/8lh6nq9kgm281
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Dec 11, 2021 17:52
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Ror posted:I think it's weird that some people can't fart silently, but I've never been very fat either. I've seen weirder ways to admit you have zero rear end to speak of but hey man whatever makes you proud lol
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Dec 11, 2021 18:07
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Just talkin' 'bout farts my butt is rotten to the core
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Dec 11, 2021 18:13
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In some ancient agora in greece or whatever i bet the first argument was guys going "i want to talk about farts!" and others "let's talk about morality and metaphysics!" and the latter group had one or two more guys so we ended up with this loving poo poo
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Dec 11, 2021 20:54
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Is a man not entitled to the beef of his own rear end?
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Dec 11, 2021 21:49
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Would you rather have a thousand dollars or be able to fart for an hour without stopping? I’m infinitely surprised by how many people tell me a thousand bucks but maybe this is my thread.
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Dec 11, 2021 21:53
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Lt. Cock posted:Would you rather have a thousand dollars or be able to fart for an hour without stopping? I’m infinitely surprised by how many people tell me a thousand bucks but maybe this is my thread. If I could fart for an hour I'd make 10 000 and hour on TV every day
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Dec 11, 2021 21:57
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Right. It seems so obvious. If you got on the Steve O podcast or Howard Stern or The Gathering of the Juggalos you could a thousand bucks at least.
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Dec 11, 2021 21:59
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Lt. Cock posted:Would you rather have a thousand dollars or be able to fart for an hour without stopping? I’m infinitely surprised by how many people tell me a thousand bucks but maybe this is my thread. before I pick, is it a normal fart stretched out for an hour so it's barely perceptible or a normal fart that just goes for an hour?
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Dec 11, 2021 22:03
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would you rather fart or have one dollar
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Dec 11, 2021 22:26
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Fart went to the fart to fart fartly.
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Dec 11, 2021 22:42
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sometimes i make a lil squeaker 
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Dec 11, 2021 23:23
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This is a relevant article https://newrepublic.com/article/126812/history-farting-money Before everything was ruined you could make a living farting, but now you can't . I blame millenials. quote:Roland, court minstrel to 12th century English king Henry II, probably had many talents. But history has recorded only one. Referred to variously Rowland le Sarcere, Roland le Fartere, Roland le Petour, and Roland the Farter, Roland really had one job in the court: Every Christmas, during the court’s riotous pageant, he performed a dance that ended with “one jump, one whistle, and one fart”, executed simultaneously. For this, Roland was gifted a manor house in Hemingstone, Suffolk, and more than 100 acres of land. For farting on cue. Imagine being able to get a house with your farts.
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Dec 11, 2021 23:48
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PinheadSlim posted:One time when I was like 12 I farted at Tae Kwon Do and it stank so loving bad that everyone including the instructor rushed for the one door in the room to escape my poo poo gas and I thought it was so funny I couldn't even pretend it wasn't me and I just cackled on the floor like a dying witch for a full minute. Thanks for giving me a chance to relive the moment I peaked OP they were really short and made a sort of quiet 'brep' noise but were so foul and wretched that they could even daze and disorient players at the opposite end of the court, and I swear sometimes the fluorescent lights would flicker
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Dec 12, 2021 00:17
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Energy drinks give me farts a slightly sweet smell.
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Dec 12, 2021 00:21
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I still CANNOT believe there was some guy in formal black tie and tails etc that farted operas etc on stage for high society in the 1800s or something. It made him rich. You read stuff and you are like, no Way And it never makes sense, ever. Even when old. Another one is the canals on Mars thing Like wtf
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Dec 12, 2021 01:04
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Spinz posted:I still CANNOT believe there was some guy in formal black tie and tails etc that farted operas etc on stage for high society in the 1800s or something. It made him rich. the dude's entire wikipedia article is amazing https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane While serving in the army, he told his fellow soldiers about his special ability, and repeated it for their amusement, sucking up water from a pan into his rectum and then projecting it up to several yards. He found that he could suck in air as well. A baker, Pujol would sometimes entertain his customers by imitating musical instruments and claim to be playing them behind the counter. 
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Dec 12, 2021 01:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0h8zY4lm0-8
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Dec 12, 2021 01:25
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Here's the next generation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YDW-IUowCA
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Dec 12, 2021 01:50
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Tip posted:the dude's entire wikipedia article is amazing Never thought i would learn about reverse waterfarts but here i am
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Dec 12, 2021 02:06
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chainchompz posted:before I pick, is it a normal fart stretched out for an hour so it's barely perceptible or a normal fart that just goes for an hour? It’s a normal fart that just goes on a whole hour.
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Dec 12, 2021 02:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBrXErFMfR8
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Dec 12, 2021 04:09
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Once, decades ago, my mom farted and it sounded like it was asking for her at the end. If I had to transcribe it, it'd be like "BLERRRUGHP-mooooom?"
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Dec 12, 2021 10:38
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Tip posted:the dude's entire wikipedia article is amazing Thank god they preserved his farts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tixKopGjn5s
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Dec 12, 2021 11:18
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I remember one time me and my brother were playing spy and we were hiding behind the couch and my grandma farted really loud and we laughed. She got upset and my mom told us it was because of the medication she was on and it made me feel bad. I often wonder what this medication was that makes you fart.
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Dec 12, 2021 16:49
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Mooey Cow posted:Thank god they preserved his farts Lmao
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Dec 12, 2021 18:43
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Mooey Cow posted:Thank god they preserved his farts according to the comments this is merely an imitator which I'm glad to hear because those were some pretty artless farts
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Dec 12, 2021 18:43
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| # ? May 26, 2024 08:38 |
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They really don't sound like an instrument nor are they timed well with the music lol
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Dec 12, 2021 18:45
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