What kind of meat would you eat?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What kind of meat would you eat?

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

Vitruvian Manic posted:

And vat-grown human would still give you kuru unless they took out those proteins.

pretty sure the prions for that are largely found in the brain and central nervous system, so if you're just growing slabs of long pork you should be fine

and yeah bring on the slabs of long pork, I'm down

# ? Feb 12, 2022 03:49

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# ? May 27, 2024 18:20

chainchompz: Jul 15, 2021; bark bark

Rare and extinct animal vat grown meat I guess. Maybe pet animals, too. But before I commit- if it's vat grown beagle will it just be one cut of meat or will there be those floppy ears, too?

# ? Feb 12, 2022 03:51

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

if you dislike someone's taste in movies enough it is no longer technically cannibalism

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:01

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

naem posted:

milk steak

little green ghouls buddy

i ordered the milk braised veal at a fancy restaurant because of its always sunny

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:05

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Pussi

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:10

Vitruvian Manic: Dec 5, 2021; by Fluffdaddy

Loden Taylor posted:

pretty sure the prions for that are largely found in the brain and central nervous system, so if you're just growing slabs of long pork you should be fine

and yeah bring on the slabs of long pork, I'm down

Why would you grow human meat and then only eat muscle meat? Remember when Bourdain ate boar sphincter? I already eat human sphincter. Why not experience it in a whole new way?

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:16

Snowy: Oct 6, 2010; A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense

I�d try lab grown unicorn meat

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:37

Nyan Bread: Mar 17, 2006

Mutalisk necks in sauce extra spicy.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:44

Xaintrailles: Aug 14, 2015

Kuru specifically doesn't seem likely but if this stuff goes from labs to lowest-bidder food plants I imagine there will be all kinds of wacky diseases and parasites of the immune-system-less meat blobs. That's a good reason to avoid eating vatman; don't want to give some fungus the chance to develop a real taste for manflesh.
Of course regular farming is a disease engine anyway.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:49

Vitruvian Manic: Dec 5, 2021; by Fluffdaddy

Xaintrailles posted:

Kuru specifically doesn't seem likely but if this stuff goes from labs to lowest-bidder food plants I imagine there will be all kinds of wacky diseases and parasites of the immune-system-less meat blobs. That's a good reason to avoid eating vatman; don't want to give some fungus the chance to develop a real taste for manflesh.
Of course regular farming is a disease engine anyway.

You'd think that but anyone who has done cell culture will tell you otherwise.

I had a friend working for a large biopharma. He walked in one day and the fermenter was yellow. It is supposed to be red. He flicked it with his finger and just walked out. As soon as he saw that, he knew he was fired. May as well leave and get a head start on finding a new career.

Mesenchymal stem cells will make mesenchymal cells. Plasticity is a thing but if a cheapo fly-by-night facility finds the answer to plasticity and ends up with neuronal cells it might give some people kuru, but it will also give another person a Nobel prize.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 04:55

naem: May 29, 2011

aminal

# ? Feb 12, 2022 05:30

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Is it nutritious though? Look at the differences between grass-fed and conventional beef and pork, or wild-caught and farm-raised fish. There are quantifiable differences in the nutritive content of the meat despite it being from ostensibly the same animal. Is the lab grown meat going to have the same macro and micro-nutrient content as the actual pastured animal, or is it just calories and protein which will certainly keep you alive, but not necessarily healthy.

I would argue that farm-raised fish are better because wild ones are in waters that have mercury and other pollutants. Farms don't have mercury in their little hatchery things.

Also farm-raised salmon tastes like five times better than wild (at least at Costco) so there's that too.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 05:49

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

Vitruvian Manic posted:

You've almost certainly eaten a close relative.

And vat-grown human would still give you kuru unless they took out those proteins.

I'd be interested in difficult-to-breed heirloom strains and rare delicious animals.

Sea turtle is supposed to be AMAZING. And I'm sure my daughter will want to eat various protein from the sea that isn't jellyfish in her dotage. So I'm pumped for the tech.

someone doesnt know how prions work

# ? Feb 12, 2022 06:00

Vitruvian Manic: Dec 5, 2021; by Fluffdaddy

Doctor Dogballs posted:

someone doesnt know how prions work

So you know how PRNP behaves in tissue cultivated from mesenchymal cells under normal cell culture conditions?

I don't, but I'm open to reading literature on it.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 06:16

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

irrelevant unless you are claiming prion formation is more frequent in the circumstances you describe than in nature, which you say you do not know, so you can't be claiming that, therefore your assertion that eating a lab-grown human will give you kuru is absurd

# ? Feb 12, 2022 06:33

Vitruvian Manic: Dec 5, 2021; by Fluffdaddy

Doctor Dogballs posted:

irrelevant unless you are claiming prion formation is more frequent in the circumstances you describe than in nature, which you say you do not know, so you can't be claiming that, therefore your assertion that eating a lab-grown human will give you kuru is absurd

LOL

# ? Feb 12, 2022 06:38

madlobster: Aug 12, 2003

I'd like to eat a hummingbird.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 07:32

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

What meat would a person eat if a person could eat meat!?

# ? Feb 12, 2022 07:35

Sharkbasket: Apr 24, 2019

Most of the technologies for cultured meat use fetal bovine serum, which is taken from the blood of an unborn calf after slaughtering a pregnant cow. Definitely NOT cruelty free.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 07:49

lonelylikezoidberg: Dec 19, 2007

Wait so meat generally tastes good because it has been actually exercised by the animal. Is it possible to exercise artificially grown muscle tissue in a way that replicates the texture and flavor of animal tissue?

Otherwise I guess why not just eat tofu and whatever.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 07:59

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

lonelylikezoidberg posted:

Wait so meat generally tastes good because it has been actually exercised by the animal. Is it possible to exercise artificially grown muscle tissue in a way that replicates the texture and flavor of animal tissue?

No it's impossible to grow whatever sort of muscle from any type of animal to ever exist on earth that we want at any time but also not give it nutrients or stimulate it to simulate exercise.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 08:26

Giraffe: Dec 12, 2005; Soiled Meat

If you wouldn�t eat vat meat you are a grade a moron imo

# ? Feb 12, 2022 08:59

Uriah Heep: Apr 28, 2010; im having a bit of an existential crisis here guys

Big Beef City posted:

No it's impossible to grow whatever sort of muscle from any type of animal to ever exist on earth that we want at any time but also not give it nutrients or stimulate it to simulate exercise.

Listen pal we're out here growing meat, let's not throw the word impossible around.

I expect within the century we'll have a Dyson sphere made of meat.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 10:19

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

From a movie called Antiviral by Brandon Cronenberg . David's son.

I wouldn't mind trying ethical foie gras or ortolan.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 10:33

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

I'd eat blue footed booby

# ? Feb 12, 2022 12:22

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

madlobster posted:

I'd like to eat a hummingbird.

Take two, they're small.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 12:25

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

lonelylikezoidberg posted:

Wait so meat generally tastes good because it has been actually exercised by the animal. Is it possible to exercise artificially grown muscle tissue in a way that replicates the texture and flavor of animal tissue?

Otherwise I guess why not just eat tofu and whatever.

They put a big ball off it in one of those exercise machines from the 50�s with the vibrating strap and it goes BBBBPPPPPTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBPPPPPTTTTHHHHHHH

# ? Feb 12, 2022 12:29

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

a toucan served in its own bill

# ? Feb 12, 2022 12:42

OMFG FURRY: Jul 10, 2006; [snarky comment]

blue ring octopus
lionfish
poison dart frog

# ? Feb 12, 2022 12:49

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

lonelylikezoidberg posted:

Wait so meat generally tastes good because it has been actually exercised by the animal. Is it possible to exercise artificially grown muscle tissue in a way that replicates the texture and flavor of animal tissue?

Otherwise I guess why not just eat tofu and whatever.

Aren't the most prized cuts from muscles that have very little exercise? And exercised muscle used for stews etc

# ? Feb 12, 2022 12:51

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

I would eat some juicy shaq meat

# ? Feb 12, 2022 13:18

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

madlobster posted:

I'd like to eat a hummingbird.

You can just do that, they don't belong to anybody

# ? Feb 12, 2022 20:40

Nyan Bread: Mar 17, 2006

mobby_6kl posted:

I would eat some juicy shaq meat

But a single rump of Shaq could feed an entire Indonesian village for weeks, donate to the Human(e) Food Effort now.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 20:58

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

I bet if you pushed a bill through congress banning the consumption of lab grown human meat it'd pass unanimously because no one wants to be known as the cannibal senator.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 21:23

Asterite34: May 19, 2009

Whatever giant South American rat that Charles Darwin ate on his HMS Beagle voyage and claimed was the best meat he ever had. And he would know, dude was eating bizarre poo poo since his days at the "eat every weird animal club" days in college, he ate at least one example of every animal he documented.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 21:35

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

I think from a biology standpoint, yes. If human dna was used to somehow produce a slab of "MEAT" in a lab somewhere id consider that cannibalism. Ethical cannibalism i suppose

Yes, and vegan carnivorism.

Though if vat- grown human meat is ever sold, you can bet it will give the odd psycho a taste for the live-sourced stuff, and murders will ensue.

BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Feb 12, 2022

# ? Feb 12, 2022 21:46

Horace Kinch: Aug 15, 2007

I plant ribeyes and pluck my meat from the steak vine.

# ? Feb 12, 2022 22:37

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

steinrokkan posted:

There really isn't much reason to eat meat once you get used to avoiding it. Cultured meat doesn't seem any more appealing than legumes or whatever, even if it's hypothetically equally ethical.

It tastes good

# ? Feb 13, 2022 00:08