Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

alf_pogs posted:

i have some severe questions for whoever was in charge of that lead synth track

such as "why did you use that lead synth track" and "why did you keep the volume so high on the lead synth track"

I dunno but I am so glad they did, it's basically PARP

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:17

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 20:48

boviscopophobic: Feb 5, 2016

Looks like we're down from yesterday by approximately 1 Sarsapariller.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:17

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6406510/#Comment_6406510

yesss the salt must flow

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:18

mp5: Jan 1, 2005; Stroke of luck!

The 'Verse is the dumbest name

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:18

Norefund14days: Feb 2, 2016; NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU PARP IN SPACE.

EminusSleepus posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen_trades

Posted, lets see who bites.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:18

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Toops posted:

I love this idea. What should I change the radar signatures to? Birds? Wheelchairs? I'm a programmer guys, I lack comedy, and I need your help.

Birds if they are above, wheelchairs if they are bellow.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:18

Norefund14days: Feb 2, 2016; NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU PARP IN SPACE.

peter gabriel posted:

Hug it out

Huggin dont help. Smashing ships does...lol

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:19

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Ash1138 posted:

yesss the salt must flow

Haha look at that loser.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:19

musicshemale: Jan 28, 2012

boviscopophobic posted:

Looks like we're down from yesterday by approximately 1 Sarsapariller.

I've seen these posted for a while, but I just want to see them at 0.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:21

WhiskeyWhiskers: Oct 14, 2013; "هذا ليس عادلاً."
"هذا ليس عادلاً على الإطلاق."
"كان هناك وقت الآن."
(السياق الخفي: للقراءة)

Norefund14days posted:

Posted, lets see who bites.

Is this it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Starcitizen_trades/comments/47mucu/sellsabre_ltistarfarer_gemini_lti_pheonix_3yrs/

I want to root for you.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:22

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Here is a pic from the official website of that ONE SEATER ship.
Note: TWO pilots in the official pic :lol:

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:22

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

mp5 posted:

The 'Verse is the dumbest name

it is funny because THE STIMPIRE is more imaginative and fun to say

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:22

mp5: Jan 1, 2005; Stroke of luck!

alf_pogs posted:

it is funny because THE STIMPIRE is more imaginative and fun to say

I took a break from this thread for a couple of months so I missed the origination of the Stimpire thing

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:23

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014; Can't post for 3 hours!

alf_pogs posted:

it is funny because THE STIMPIRE is more imaginative and fun to say

And it wasn't ripped directly from another sci-fi property

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:23

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

mp5 posted:

I took a break from this thread for a couple of months so I missed the origination of the Stimpire thing

in mans deepest darkest temptations by the secrets of the fleseh

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:24

Norefund14days: Feb 2, 2016; NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU PARP IN SPACE.

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

Is this it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Starcitizen_trades/comments/47mucu/sellsabre_ltistarfarer_gemini_lti_pheonix_3yrs/

I want to root for you.

Nope, they removed my post. I have to be vetted...lol

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:24

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

TTerrible posted:

This is the best response in that thread. Holy loving lol @ it losing half its features ACCIDENTALLY.

This is seriously the funniest thing that has ever happened related to Star Citizen.

OH MY loving GOD! The wheels are really coming off this bitch. Oh lordy!

My sides are loving splitting, jesus christ!

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:25

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

boviscopophobic posted:

Looks like we're down from yesterday by approximately 1 Sarsapariller.

Lmao

Does he still post here or was he ship shamed away?

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:25

serious norman: Dec 13, 2007; im pickle rick!!!!

post the fail thing

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:26

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

mp5 posted:

I took a break from this thread for a couple of months so I missed the origination of the Stimpire thing

it has been posted so many times now ha ha but god drat it's still great. this was from some crazy guy writing SC fanfic on the RSI forums. the lore has been thoroughly embraced, refined and expanded on by goons.

Stimpire Prime posted:

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:26

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

Lesnick getting ganked from all sides in that thread.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:29

boviscopophobic: Feb 5, 2016

Romes128 posted:

Lmao

Does he still post here or was he ship shamed away?

I haven't seen him since he admitted buying back in with his refund money. He gave us a great video though. I hope his chargeback goes through. :ohdear:

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:30

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

peter gabriel posted:

Here is a pic from the official website of that ONE SEATER ship.
Note: TWO pilots in the official pic

This looks more like a starship. Unlike the current mosquito looking pos

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:30

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Variable 5 posted:

Too late to change it back now, duh.

Edit: Sorry guys, I�m tired of this. It�s not fun for anyone but your group and it�s tedious for anyone else posting to the forums. The level of toxicity the users posting to this thread adds to the forums is not acceptable.
I am absolutely bored with the insane levels of smug pretense happening here. It�s not fooling anyone (other than regular users already keyed up about �Goons� playing the same game as they are, and you sure showed them! Take that, pubbies!) and it�s just so uninteresting. �We�re just standing up for the little guy! Help we�re being oppressed! Etc.!� I have some good news for you: you�re a regular forum user and you don�t need to stand up for anybody. You don�t run the place. That�s the moderation staff�s job, and if they suck at it then I will fire them.

They don�t suck at it right now, though. Your constant baiting isn�t changing my mind about that, it�s making me feel sorry for the group of people I put in the position of having to deal with you. It�s really, really obvious what�s happening, and no number of lengthy PMs about your views on how moderation is supposed to work are going to change that. The level of disrespect here is outrageous; absolutely no one believes you�re really here with obnoxious rule-skating signatures and stupid parody account avatars because you�re incredibly concerned with how a particular forum�s moderation works.

But if that is a genuine worry: if Toast bans someone for being a Goon instead of for being an rear end in a top hat, let me know (via PM, not endless toxic thread) and I will fire Toast. Until that happens, this is just tiresome and makes the forums look bad to everyone. (And this is just a gut feeling, but maybe the moderator bias that you all claim to be so worried about above anything else in the universe would be more obvious to me if absolutely anyone other than the people posting to this thread were contacting me about it?)

I will say that this is in no way a condemnation of all �Goons.� In following the Star Citizen threads at SA, it�s clear there are lots of Something Awful users who are interested in/excited about Star Citizen. You aren�t being haunted by some EVE reputation that you pretend to know nothing about� you�re giving the group a bad name right here (literally, in the name of your thread.) But of course you know that. SA is full of entirely reasonable people (myself included) who do all kinds of interesting things. Endless forum �shitposting� and trying to get moderators/staff fired isn�t one of those interesting things.

Thread closed.

Does anyone have a link/image of this?

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:30

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

TTerrible posted:

Yes buy a Banu Merchantman immediately.

I just watched some of that old dudes videos and its really, really sad. How can they be so loving brutal to him? These people are total scum.

Anyone know what's the best way to contact him? I'd like to gift him a few a games.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:31

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

alf_pogs posted:

it has been posted so many times now ha ha but god drat it's still great. this was from some crazy guy writing SC fanfic on the RSI forums. the lore has been thoroughly embraced, refined and expanded on by goons.

Star Citizen: Injected with insanity, for entertainment.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:33

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

Norefund14days posted:

Nope, they removed my post. I have to be vetted...lol

Let me know if you want help in posting it there since my username have some Street creds there lol

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:33

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

Colostomy Bag posted:

Anyone know what's the best way to contact him? I'd like to gift him a few a games.

Post on his YouTube videos or I think YouTube have PM?

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:34

Variable 5: Apr 17, 2007; We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.; Grimey Drawer

MeLKoR posted:

Does anyone have a link/image of this?

Here.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:35

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

A Neurotic Jew posted:

a new segment on AtV where Ben Lesnick goes searching for the missing videogame ship seat, except its just him looking under chairs and in filing cabinets and shrugging his shoulders while film noir jazz plays in the background.

* enter Sandi *

:lesnick:

: She was a dame to kill for! :btroll:

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:35

Lime Tonics: Nov 7, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Forums getting uppity.

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/319916/i-want-to-talk-about-this-video-in-a-constructive-way

The hits keep on coming.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:35

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

Colostomy Bag posted:

Anyone know what's the best way to contact him? I'd like to gift him a few a games.

i sent him a youtube message talking to him about roleplaying stuff and he replied within the day, so that's probs the best way to go. just click the 'send message' button

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=user?JeffreySMcArthur?about

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:36

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

MeLKoR posted:

* enter Sandi *

: She was a dame to kill for!

You're insulting, how can you compare sandi to this??

NSFW Warning

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:37

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

Lime Tonics posted:

Forums getting uppity.

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/319916/i-want-to-talk-about-this-video-in-a-constructive-way

The hits keep on coming.

I almost missed the criticism underneath the layers and layers of apology.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:38

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

mp5 posted:

The 'Verse is the dumbest name

It's perfect for CIG.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:38

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

Norefund14days posted:

I'm gonna vent here which mean I will probably be probated but who gives a gently caress. As a retired member of the military I gave 22 years of my life so people could live their lives the way they want to in freedom to make there own choices. Yes, I bought into the "dream" to the tune of $250 on kickstarter. It pisses me off to no end when fat rear end mouth breathing basement dwellers attack the folks I fought to defend....Namely Mr. McArthur who is fighting for his life. To see folks like CR, Sandi(LBFM wannabe), FAT rear end CANT STOP EATING BEN, and the other take advantage of the freedom I fought so hard to provide just makes me absolutely sick. I hope all those fuckers get whats coming to them. Stay strong Mr. M. The goons are pulling for ya.

hahahaha

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:40

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

A Neurotic Jew posted:

I almost missed the criticism underneath the layers and layers of apology.

I'm glad that the Cutlass thread remains the waist high wall that Ben cannot get over.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:40

SirPhoebos: Dec 10, 2007; WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

It has been a good day for The Master

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:41

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

given the terrible way the community has been managed and the way it's spiralling out of hand now, what are the odds that Lesnick's days in front of the camera / on the forums are numbered?

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:42

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 20:48

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

alf_pogs posted:

it has been posted so many times now ha ha but god drat it's still great. this was from some crazy guy writing SC fanfic on the RSI forums. the lore has been thoroughly embraced, refined and expanded on by goons.

And as always, the Stimcouncil meets on Wednesdays to handle various issues with the lore. I somewhat dropped the ball this past week since I couldn't figure out a time or a place that would cause maximum pain.

# ? Feb 26, 2016 03:43

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