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sweet geek swag posted:If you are going to combine multiple bodies together you need to create a soul amalgam or use advanced soul binding techniques. Just don't create a soul amalgam out of multiple souls which are all as smart as you. There is a like a 40% chance that it will be a super genius who figures out how to break free of you. This goes double for dragons, who are almost always super smart. Realigning the soul binding on the bodies is harder, but produces a much more reliable servant. Wait wait wait, so there is the possibility of the reanimated skeletal dragon retaining some or all of its intelligence? Would it then be a dracolich? Unholy gently caress!
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Apr 7, 2017 00:24
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im more of a ho-hum wizzard
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Apr 7, 2017 00:30
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A Pack of Kobolds posted:Wait wait wait, so there is the possibility of the reanimated skeletal dragon retaining some or all of its intelligence? Would it then be a dracolich? Unholy gently caress! It wouldn't be a dracolich unless it had a phylactery. This would just be a free skeletal dragon. If you killed it again it would stay dead. The more powerful and magic a creature is the more holes in the spells that keep it bound. The more intelligent the mind of the soul bound to the undead is, the more likely it will find one of those holes. A powerful, magic intelligent being such as a dragon is very hard to control without the use of advanced binding techniques.
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Apr 7, 2017 00:46
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I don't think dracoliches are worth the effort. Sure they're big and scary, and let's be honest, super fuckin cool, but it's a huge drag to come up with the materials and reagents. And getting a whole dragon carcass delivered? Forget it. Maybe if you raised a dragon from whelpling on up and had decades to prepare, I guess. But I'd rather just send some skeletal minions in. Faster, cheaper, and when the first few platoons get wiped out by heroes, you don't feel like you lost a major investment
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Apr 7, 2017 01:10
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please don't enslave dracoliches, seriously folks, these are conscious creatures. i used to work for one, very nice fellow, discounted me a significant portion of my soul at the end of my term of employment.
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Apr 7, 2017 04:57
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Tiny Deer posted:The path to good is a slippery slope, you have to stay alert. Never play with nature magic, it's almost as bad as the loving gibbon talking about 'evil barding'. Song is inherently harmonic, dum-dums, harmony = GOOD. You're just asking for some beautiful and innocent maiden to ensnare your heart with her pure voice if you gently caress with it. FALSE. It is a well-known fact that devils are the best musicians and the font of harmonic power from which bards and other musicians draw. Especially metal.  nomadologique posted:please don't enslave dracoliches, seriously folks, these are conscious creatures. i used to work for one, very nice fellow, discounted me a significant portion of my soul at the end of my term of employment. You know, becoming an immortal dragon lich is kind of my endgame, that's why I've turned the sun red and the land to ash with my defiling magics in my quest for unlife singularity. All within The Laws, obviously. Everything has a price.
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Apr 7, 2017 09:01
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:FALSE. It is a well-known fact that devils are the best musicians and the font of harmonic power from which bards and other musicians draw. yo did you do that thing where you create an Obsidian Desert? that sounds rad as gently caress
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Apr 7, 2017 11:31
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If I wanted to obey laws I'd become some paladin's bootlick. I became an evil wizard so I could surpass mortality, shatter the bonds of the physical world, and SHOW THAT loving ASSWIPE TODD THAT I AM NOT A BITCH gently caress YOU TODD HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING MY UNDYING poo poo-SLAVE? gently caress YOU POLISH MY CHAMBER-POT WITH THE DESSICATED REMNANTS OF YOUR OWN SCALP THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR PICKING ON ME IN SCHOOL TODD AND NO I DON'T CARE IF IT HAPPENED ALMOST TWENTY YEARS AGO REVENGE IS BEST SERVED COLD AND ALSO A IN CHAMBER POT FILLED WITH LIQUID FECES
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Apr 7, 2017 14:02
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Goa Tse-tung posted:yo did you do that thing where you create an Obsidian Desert? that sounds rad as gently caress Yes, and a Sea of Ash, too! All the hosed up poo poo of the ocean but with the blind aeons of eternity and stone! Defiling magic is totes hella rad. Screaming Idiot posted:If I wanted to obey laws I'd become some paladin's bootlick. I became an evil wizard so I could surpass mortality, shatter the bonds of the physical world, and SHOW THAT loving ASSWIPE TODD THAT I AM NOT A BITCH You know, being mad about The Laws existing is exactly like being one of those human teenagers loudly, vaguely mad about someone called "SkyDaddy" and their opinions on his followers... Except The Laws are real and worth throwing a hissy fit over. Also, good luck with Todd! I'm sure he deserves it.
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Apr 7, 2017 15:45
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Yes, and a Sea of Ash, too! All the hosed up poo poo of the ocean but with the blind aeons of eternity and stone! Oh that was you? Nice job, man. Word of that even made it all the way here to the Midlands.
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Apr 7, 2017 22:33
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Guys, if you come across one of the 19 Tomes of Taroix the Master of Beasts and Darkness please be advised that the titles are a misprinting. He was actually the master of Breasts and Darkness. I used one of his spells while battling my nemesis Daralia the White Sorceress and her tits doubled in size. It was very embarrassing and now my local magic-user community thinks I'm a gross pervert.
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Apr 7, 2017 22:54
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Who What Now posted:Guys, if you come across one of the 19 Tomes of Taroix the Master of Beasts and Darkness please be advised that the titles are a misprinting. He was actually the master of Breasts and Darkness. I used one of his spells while battling my nemesis Daralia the White Sorceress and her tits doubled in size. It was very embarrassing and now my local magic-user community thinks I'm a gross pervert. what kind of evil wizard are you that worries about that poo poo?
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Apr 7, 2017 22:56
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A respectable one. 
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Apr 7, 2017 22:59
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Who What Now posted:A respectable one. i dont care about your respect when i can wrest your longing from your heart and do what i want with it what the hell did you guys get your evil wizard phd for goddamn
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Apr 7, 2017 23:03
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For what it's worth, don't waste your time with kobold skeletons. Too fragile to do much with, tbh
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Apr 7, 2017 23:19
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sneakyfrog posted:i dont care about your respect when i can wrest your longing from your heart and do what i want with it what the hell did you guys get your evil wizard phd for goddamn It's called class. Yeah sure we could all just fall into endless depravity, casting bizzare sex magic from lurid tomes bound in moaning flesh upon helpless cleric maidens but being evil doesn't mean you have to be a creep. In this line of work you end up fighting the same heroes or their ancestors again and again and no one wants to be the guy who "made grandmas tits the size of a beanbag" Hell, killing someone is mostly an inconvenience these days with resurrection costs at an all time low (Thanks Orcbama). Tie them up in a complicated murder-trap or feed them to a gelatinous cube anything other than ramming a haunted crystal up someone's rear end. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.and everyone has scrying pools now so don't think your local Malevolency Rotary Club doesn't keep tabs.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:20
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Arkanomen posted:It's called class. Yeah sure we could all just fall into endless depravity, casting bizzare sex magic from lurid tomes bound in moaning flesh upon helpless cleric maidens but being evil doesn't mean you have to be a creep.  I guess i just figured that was so silly to worry about that, when eventually you live in a castle built out of their skulls and souls? 
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Apr 7, 2017 23:24
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Who What Now posted:Guys, if you come across one of the 19 Tomes of Taroix the Master of Beasts and Darkness please be advised that the titles are a misprinting. He was actually the master of Breasts and Darkness. I used one of his spells while battling my nemesis Daralia the White Sorceress and her tits doubled in size. It was very embarrassing and now my local magic-user community thinks I'm a gross pervert. Oh, the old 'it was just a typo, babe!' You know what really impresses a sorceress? Respect, you pig. I heard all about your 'accidental' spell casting. Sure was weird how it 'just happened' right next to the Fountains of Illure and you 'oopsed' the fireball that blew them up and soaked everything in the vicinity. Honest bonelords like myself deal with enough innuendo as it is without you goddamn fleshies confirming all wizards are obsessed with their rods of power! Disgusting.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:25
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Tiny Deer posted:Oh, the old 'it was just a typo, babe!' heheh bonelord.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:26
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sneakyfrog posted:heheh The goddamn disrespect.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:29
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Tiny Deer posted:The goddamn disrespect. *puts big bone boobs on you*
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Apr 7, 2017 23:31
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Tiny Deer posted:Oh, the old 'it was just a typo, babe!' The man transformed his body into a nightmarish amalgamation of the greatest predators of planes. It turns out having the claws of a fiendish dire-mandril doesnt give you great penmanship so I can hardly be blamed for misreading that! I will admit that destroying the fountains to mask my escape was a bad choice in retrospect, though.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:41
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hey dorks, it's the waxing gibbous, and my translocating castle appeared on a mountain top again. I was sorta busy with some other projects...I'm not encroaching on anyones territory am I? You can have access to my library (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE IF YOU ARE BANNED). Anyway, I finally got my "Litany of The Sunken Stars" back.. I just need some sulfur, peat moss, and locally grown beets, will trade.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:50
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key party favors posted:hey dorks, if i give you your soul fragment back can i not be banned anymore?
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Apr 7, 2017 23:52
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sneakyfrog posted:if i give you your soul fragment back can i not be banned anymore? You have to give back those bone tits you stole too.
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Apr 8, 2017 00:00
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5er posted:You have to give back those bone tits you stole too. *sigh* fine.
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Apr 8, 2017 00:02
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sneakyfrog posted:*sigh* fine. Yo, I have this book that'll teach you how to make your own bone tots on the cheap. I'm willing to trade down, I just gotta get rid of the drat thing.
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Apr 8, 2017 00:49
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Who What Now posted:Guys, if you come across one of the 19 Tomes of Taroix the Master of Beasts and Darkness please be advised that the titles are a misprinting. He was actually the master of Breasts and Darkness. I used one of his spells while battling my nemesis Daralia the White Sorceress and her tits doubled in size. It was very embarrassing and now my local magic-user community thinks I'm a gross pervert. Well now I want one of these even more. I don't really care what the local community thinks given they're all gonna be my thralls one way or another.
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Apr 8, 2017 00:54
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Who What Now posted:A respectable one. The only kind of respect worth having is self-respect. Nothing else matters. 
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Apr 8, 2017 01:01
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Who What Now posted:The man transformed his body into a nightmarish amalgamation of the greatest predators of planes. It turns out having the claws of a fiendish dire-mandril doesnt give you great penmanship so I can hardly be blamed for misreading that! I will admit that destroying the fountains to mask my escape was a bad choice in retrospect, though. Whatever you say, Mr Shrinking Staff. sneakyfrog posted:*puts big bone boobs on you* This shaming of flat chested bonelords has to end! #allbonesarebeautiful
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Apr 8, 2017 01:14
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sneakyfrog posted:i dont care about your respect when i can wrest your longing from your heart and do what i want with it what the hell did you guys get your evil wizard phd for goddamn lol man no evil wizard worth his salt goes past an mba in applied deviltry, you're just getting a bunch of academic BS without any of the real world application in a phd program
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Apr 8, 2017 01:31
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Usually all that is left of my enemies is ashes and their eternal sorrow, I kind of wish I had some maidens with lucious, swinging bones around to give me head. The heads of my enemies, that is. I don't have a wiener on the traditional sense anymore, I don't think, the process of becoming an immortal dracolich-king is kind of weird.
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Apr 8, 2017 02:43
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Hey fellow wizards, I have a worrisome chesty cough. How do I know if it's a case of Tome Lung?
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Apr 8, 2017 04:15
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sneakyfrog posted:*sigh* fine. I want that bone tit! Last time I let you into the library you mixed up the codexes and Librams. I told you to leave any tome you take from the shelves ON THE DESKS! You will mess up my organization otherwise! ...anyway my castle should. Vanish after the full moon on the first waning gibbous... everyone here knows the drill.
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Apr 8, 2017 04:22
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My buddy Zandor grew a gently caress humonculous out of spare lich genitalia. And that piece of poo poo cave dweller won't give me the recipe. So if you're an adventurer looking to make a spare bit of coin...
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Apr 8, 2017 04:48
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Hey everyone, I have a question about curses, I normally specialize in making magical constructs like golems so it's outside my normal purview. What I want to do is consume the flesh of a virgin in a ritual summoning arcane elements. My issue is due to my Canadian heritage, I run the risk of turning into a Wendigo. Don't get me wrong, being a near immortal murder beast has it's perks, I'm just not at that stage yet. What should I do?
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Apr 8, 2017 05:41
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Numb Three Ers posted:Hey everyone, I have a question about curses, I normally specialize in making magical constructs like golems so it's outside my normal purview. What I want to do is consume the flesh of a virgin in a ritual summoning arcane elements. My issue is due to my Canadian heritage, I run the risk of turning into a Wendigo. Don't get me wrong, being a near immortal murder beast has it's perks, I'm just not at that stage yet. There has to be an unbound wendigo spirit that can fuse its ethereal form to your now tainted soul. Make sure your spirit wards are up to date and you should be fine. I minored in dark shamanism so if you need any advice on subjugating malevolent spirits to your evil will then let me know.
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Apr 8, 2017 05:57
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The neighbour's kid keeps hanging around my tower wanting to be my apprentice. I wouldn't mind an apprentice really but this kid is dumb as poo poo. I don't even know if he's worth dismembering for spare parts for my flesh golem. I think I'll just harvest his soul and use it as a porch light.
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Apr 8, 2017 06:03
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Space Taxi posted:The neighbour's kid keeps hanging around my tower wanting to be my apprentice. I wouldn't mind an apprentice really but this kid is dumb as poo poo. I don't even know if he's worth dismembering for spare parts for my flesh golem. Give him a test. One you don't expect him to survive. Just keep making tests you don't expect him to survive and he'll serve his purpose, you might even get an actual apprentice out of it. Just make sure he doesn't resent you, learn how to kill you, or have an opportunity to do so.
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Apr 8, 2017 06:56
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Space Taxi posted:The neighbour's kid keeps hanging around my tower wanting to be my apprentice. I wouldn't mind an apprentice really but this kid is dumb as poo poo. I don't even know if he's worth dismembering for spare parts for my flesh golem. In my experience, if it ain't bright upstairs, it ain't gonna light up the driveway. You're probably better off just turning him into a bog standard misshapen, shambling corpse and aim him in the general direction of the town. Re: the wendigo problem - have you considered body-swapping for the duration of your incantation? Might let you sneak around bloodline concerns, and you can have a night on the town where you dissolve someone's friends and family and the last thing they see is a loved one inflicting limitless agony?
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Apr 8, 2017 07:00
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