AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

Horse Clocks: Dec 14, 2004

I�ve been binge watching shark tank recently.

New game: find how much cheaper per unit you can get these people�s product as a single item.

Usually aliexpress wins by a dollar or two.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 09:17

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 15:18

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

WrenP-Complete posted:

A sponge thing with a handle for a dollar or two. These all leak via the sponge whether or not you get the name brand
https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/cfZHDbxi

This is what we use (but name-brand and probably a few dollars more). I gave up on the dispenser handle and wound up putting Superglue and then packing tape over the hole, which keeps the handle and the sponge fitting from getting slimy, etc. You should be able to find a few varieties of sponge refills (heavy-duty, no-scratch, etc.) at any local store, but I'm betting they're cheaper at AE--and maybe more per package, too. Hmm...

Moon Atari posted:

https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/b7SjWTb6 I have multiple pairs and they all work well.

My interest was piqued when you mentioned sleeping headphones, but forget sleeping with a headband on. I imagine the fleece would give my hair a huge dose of static, too.

I'll have to look around for a knock-off of these instead:

Hirayuki fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Dec 7, 2018

# ? Dec 7, 2018 15:22

Big Bad Beetleborg: Apr 8, 2007; Things may come to those who wait...but only the things left by those who hustle.

I'm not sure what I clicked on to get these recommendations, but that one in the bottom left is a doozy
:nws:

https://i.imgur.com/2fdi2UT.jpg :nws:

# ? Dec 7, 2018 20:05

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

Got a message from a person named Elephant King to tell me that my LED Christmas lights have shipped. That's an unusual amount of whimsy for AliExpress.

I also ordered a well reviewed wireless cotton nursing bra for 10 euros cause I don't want to have to spend 100+ euros and drive for four hours to buy one here cause if you're larger than a D cup in the Netherlands you are poo poo outta luck for bras. I figure cotton has to be more cost effective than spun lead for the factory anyway.

I'm hesitant about buying stuff for Ralph Jr from AliExpress. I did get some little cheap shoes with crabs and swans and foxes cause I only put shoes on him in the stroller and he won't be coordinated/strong enough to even reach his own feet in that position for a while yet, he's not even eight weeks. As long as he can't get it in his mouth or it isn't supporting his weight I think we are okay.

But my mom sent me a bunch of high end classy toys for him and every single one of them was made in China anyway.

I know the thing is that everything has toxic lead in it on the AliExpress, but I really have to wonder how safe/unsafe any of it is for babies. I was looking at breast pumps and the exact same models that are sold here online from European retailers are on the AliExpress. And since I can't find info on their site about where Medela, the big name in pumps, manufactures theirs (only a vaguely worded paragraph about being headquartered in Switzerland and distributing worldwide) I have to guess that even they make their pumps in China.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 21:38

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Ralph Crammed In posted:

I know the thing is that everything has toxic lead in it on the AliExpress, but I really have to wonder how safe/unsafe any of it is for babies. I was looking at breast pumps and the exact same models that are sold here online from European retailers are on the AliExpress. And since I can't find info on their site about where Medela, the big name in pumps, manufactures theirs (only a vaguely worded paragraph about being headquartered in Switzerland and distributing worldwide) I have to guess that even they make their pumps in China.

Don't do it.

Babies are very susceptible to stuff that adults and even young children would shrug off.

It's not just things like cords being long enough to strangle, it's stuff like inferior fluffy material coming apart and choking them.
Or a cheaper dye that isn't as colourfast as the stuff sold overseas and has toxic levels of stuff.

And just because it looks the same as a good brand - or indeed is sold the same as a good brand - doesn't mean that is actually is.
Or even good stuff that was supposed to be destroyed because someone spilt cleaning product on it and someone rescued it from the dumpster.

Don't risk it for a baby.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 21:46

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

spog posted:

Don't do it.

Babies are very susceptible to stuff that adults and even young children would shrug off.

It's not just things like cords being long enough to strangle, it's stuff like inferior fluffy material coming apart and choking them.
Or a cheaper dye that isn't as colourfast as the stuff sold overseas and has toxic levels of stuff.

And just because it looks the same as a good brand - or indeed is sold the same as a good brand - doesn't mean that is actually is.
Or even good stuff that was supposed to be destroyed because someone spilt cleaning product on it and someone rescued it from the dumpster.

Don't risk it for a baby.

I'm not using a breast pump anyway. I'm fortunate enough to stay home and feed him whenever he wants. And if I was going to use one on the reg I'd for sure get the 100% above board one. Anything like that I'm not going to take a risk on. I just wonder what/how the difference is from what is sold on AliExpress vs whats sold as a generic brand on EU/US retailers.

My point is is that all this poo poo is made in China and there are not enough inspectors/QA people on the receiving end to make a dent in possible toxins/hazards, esp for the generic brand stuff. I'm super vigilant about baby's stuff, I've even cut the cords of my hoodies and all the hoods off of his hand me downs. I have the time to check his toys, but not every parent does. But like I said, even the quality stuff is made in China. I think there is an illusion of safety when it comes to hidden things like you mentioned.

Ralph Crammed In fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Dec 7, 2018

# ? Dec 7, 2018 22:21

Not Wolverine: Jul 1, 2007

There is a huge difference between made in China for a company that follows your local standards and (hypothetically) conducts routine inspections of the ~~sweat shops~~ manufy facilities vs made in China with no fucks given to safety standards because your paying 1/10th if the cost.

Ralph Crammed In posted:

My point is is that all this poo poo is made in China and there are not enough inspectors/QA people on the receiving end to make a dent in possible toxins/hazards, esp for the generic brand stuff.

Madella is still putting f their name on the goods and will conduct a hell of a lot more inspections than a fly by night Ali seller who will just shutdown and reopen under a new name when poo poo goes bad.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 22:41

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

Crotch Fruit posted:

There is a huge difference between made in China for a company that follows your local standards and (hypothetically) conducts routine inspections of the ~~sweat shops~~ manufy facilities vs made in China with no fucks given to safety standards because your paying 1/10th if the cost.

Madella is still putting f their name on the goods and will conduct a hell of a lot more inspections than a fly by night Ali seller who will just shutdown and reopen under a new name when poo poo goes bad.

Yeah but a lot of EU/US retailers buy from these fly by night operations, or at least list their products for sale. I'm not saying to take a gamble on sensitive things that goes in a baby's mouth. That's not what I am doing at all, I get it.

My point is is that just because a parent buys something from a legit retailer doesn't mean that the product is safe. We basically have to take companies at their word that a product is safe because who is checking this poo poo anyway? How many shipments of bottles/breastpumps/pacifiers are actually getting checked by anyone? Cause I bet a factory in China knows how to cut corners even on stuff for Medela or Phillips or whatever if they want, much less the silicon spoons you buy at the grocery store made by Fun Baby Plus or whatever. We are just taking them at their word that it's safe, so it's more of a question of how safe are Chinese factories on a whole.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 22:52

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Ralph Crammed In posted:

Yeah but a lot of EU/US retailers buy from these fly by night operations, or at least list their products for sale. I'm not saying to take a gamble on sensitive things that goes in a baby's mouth. That's not what I am doing at all, I get it.

My point is is that just because a parent buys something from a legit retailer doesn't mean that the product is safe. We basically have to take companies at their word that a product is safe because who is checking this poo poo anyway? How many shipments of bottles/breastpumps/pacifiers are actually getting checked by anyone? Cause I bet a factory in China knows how to cut corners even on stuff for Medela or Phillips or whatever if they want, much less the silicon spoons you buy at the grocery store made by Fun Baby Plus or whatever. We are just taking them at their word that it's safe, so it's more of a question of how safe are Chinese factories on a whole.

Any reasonably-large retailer will pay for a 3rd party to audit the product.

That includes checking during production, random testing and sampling prior to shipment.

Don't forget that while there are plenty of cowboys, there are plenty of quality factories that do a good job. How do you and I know when we buy from China? We don't. But the western retailer does. Disney has stuff manufactured in China and you can be drat sure that they know their books won't choke babies.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:46

heehee: Sep 5, 2012; haha wow i cant believe how lucky we got to win

If you�re getting cheap stuff anyway just go for the cheapest

# ? Dec 8, 2018 00:12

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Babies are probably expensive.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 00:31

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

They're basically a byproduct.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 00:40

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

spog posted:

Any reasonably-large retailer will pay for a 3rd party to audit the product.

That includes checking during production, random testing and sampling prior to shipment.

I'm sorry but this simply isn't the case for many consumer goods, and only to the extent that it causes immediate issues for the seller. Don't forget the Mattel lead paint affair.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 00:43

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

My dad works for a major US-based plumbing fixture company which does manufacturing in China. One of his main job responsibilities is figuring out how the Chinese factories have cheaped out on their original plans and why the shower heads (or whatever) are suddenly not working to spec. He then corrects the processes. So that's definitely a thing people work on.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 00:43

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

quote:

The strategy. Within a few days of initially hearing from the retailer, Mattel employees had identified the factory that produced the tainted toys, stopped production and launched an investigation to determine the scope of the problem. That investigation concluded by the end of July and by August 2 the company had alerted the public and begun taking back about 1.5m toys. Mattel then voluntarily expanded the scope of its investigation and issued two more recalls, one on August 14 and another on September 5. In the August 14 recall, Mattel decided to head off another potential safety problem by recalling 18m toys with magnets that could hurt children if they became dislodged and were ingested.

To prevent any future lead paint issue, Mattel adopted a new test procedure where every production batch of every toy had to be tested before it could be released to go on sale. It also named publicly the contractors in China that had been involved in producing the toys with lead paint, severed many supply relationships and installed more Mattel people in contract manufacturers’ facilities.

During this period Mattel also created a post of senior vice-president of corporate responsibility to oversee audits of all subcontractors.

It also called for more regulation and for more resources to be allocated to the Consumer Product Safety Commission in the US. The company consistently communicated with all stakeholders and communications generally began with “I’m sorry … ” as the company acknowledged the failure of trust.

What happened. Mattel’s surveys showed 75 per cent of people felt it did a good job handling the crisis. Mattel was praised by the media and in Congressional hearings for facing the crisis with speed, honesty and a laudable lack of corporate denial or defensiveness.

There have been no further lead paint incidents and the company remains the global leader in the toy industry. Mattel consistently scores well in rankings of trustworthy companies.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 00:57

Not Wolverine: Jul 1, 2007

What is more likely to give my baby cancer, Medela an established brand, or AliExpress where warehouses catching fire is just business as usual?

# ? Dec 8, 2018 01:50

withak: Jan 15, 2003; Fun Shoe

Babies are actually pretty easy to replace. The wait is only slightly longer than the wait for your lead-lined breast pump.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 03:04

flashy_mcflash: Feb 7, 2011

We used Chinese knockoff cloth diapers on both our kids and they're fine and at least as durable as the couple of legit ones we have, and those little flimsy leather (?) shoes are really good too. I definitely wouldn't buy anything for a baby that's intended to go in their mouth, like a soother or something, from AX but the clothes are generally okay and are maybe the only clothes on the site that fit true to size.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 03:28

eSporks: Jun 10, 2011

Big Bad Beetleborg posted:

I'm not sure what I clicked on to get these recommendations, but that one in the bottom left is a doozy
https://i.imgur.com/2fdi2UT.jpg

I more interested in the thing on the right, is that a cheetoh maker?

# ? Dec 8, 2018 04:14

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

Pick posted:

Don't forget the Mattel lead paint affair.

Or Bindeez the toy beads that turned into date rape drug GHB when consumed. Or Perth Children's Hospital, where Chinese produced brass fittings contaminated the water with lead, which is really the last thing you want in a children's hospital.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 04:36

Sex Robot: Jan 11, 2011; Nothing amazing happens here.
Everything is ordinary.

A common thing is endline runs. When a company hires out a factory for x months to produce x thousand units of a product, these factories are modular and often move all their machinery round to create a custom production line for the contract and proceed to fulfill the contract depending on the item, with a regional QA company dropping round and taking samples etc etc.

Ok now that contract is done, but there�s downtime, maybe you finished ahead of schedule, maybe the next company that wants to utilise your factory is still signing on the dotted line, maybe raw materials are still coming through.

Well the factory is already set up to make this specific thing, and you have a bunch of spare raw materials left over, and every minute the production line isn�t running is money pissed down the drain. But now that QA fucker isn�t around, and we can dilute the paint with whatever is in that barrel over there to make it go further, they crank out an extra 20-30k units and sell them off themselves.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 04:38

eSporks: Jun 10, 2011

Sex Robot posted:

A common thing is endline runs. When a company hires out a factory for x months to produce x thousand units of a product, these factories are modular and often move all their machinery round to create a custom production line for the contract and proceed to fulfill the contract depending on the item, with a regional QA company dropping round and taking samples etc etc.

Ok now that contract is done, but there�s downtime, maybe you finished ahead of schedule, maybe the next company that wants to utilise your factory is still signing on the dotted line, maybe raw materials are still coming through.

Well the factory is already set up to make this specific thing, and you have a bunch of spare raw materials left over, and every minute the production line isn�t running is money pissed down the drain. But now that QA fucker isn�t around, and we can dilute the paint with whatever is in that barrel over there to make it go further, they crank out an extra 20-30k units and sell them off themselves.

Great description.

In the bike industry you see a lot of similar things. Lots of knockoffs made in the same factory as the original, but you dig deeper and see where the corners were cut. Remember, at least when the name brand fails you have someone to sue. Good advice for cyclists that also applies to baby owners.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 05:33

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

flashy_mcflash posted:

We used Chinese knockoff cloth diapers on both our kids and they're fine

AliExpress: probably fine to poo poo on

# ? Dec 8, 2018 05:33

norp: Jan 20, 2004; TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP

let's invade New Zealand, they have oil

eSporks posted:

Great description.

In the bike industry you see a lot of similar things. Lots of knockoffs made in the same factory as the original, but you dig deeper and see where the corners were cut. Remember, at least when the name brand fails you have someone to sue. Good advice for cyclists that also applies to baby owners.

I ride Chinese carbon wheels on two of my bikes (one from Ali, one from eBay), they are fine. Once you've ridden a few hundred km and checked that they aren't faulty they are just as likely to fail as the name brands. I'm more worried about a driver killing me than parts breaking.

When you see the quality of bikes that Kmart or Walmart poo poo out these chinesium parts really aren't that bad.

The wheels in fact are miles better built than similar priced wheels I've bought from reputable retailers/brands or shipped on ~$2000 bikes I've bought. Hell my Merida it turned out shipped with counterfeit wheels on it - the rims were branded "alexims" instead of "alexrims".

I've also bought carbon handlebars from Ali, they are clearly just a set that failed QA - the grippy clamping section was printed on off-center by about 2mm.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 06:52

norp: Jan 20, 2004; TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP

let's invade New Zealand, they have oil

The thing to avoid is any store that sells counterfeits, the stores that sell unbranded stuff are probably just the factory selling sample runs or things built between contract runs.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 06:57

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Moon Atari posted:

Or Bindeez the toy beads that turned into date rape drug GHB when consumed. Or Perth Children's Hospital, where Chinese produced brass fittings contaminated the water with lead, which is really the last thing you want in a children's hospital.

Oh jesus they finally found out where the lead was coming from ?! hahahah

# ? Dec 8, 2018 07:02

Big Bad Beetleborg: Apr 8, 2007; Things may come to those who wait...but only the things left by those who hustle.

eSporks posted:

I more interested in the thing on the right, is that a cheetoh maker?

It's one of these: HIMOSKWA Cold And Hot Home Automatic Oil Presser Stainless Steel Oil Press Machine Soybea Peanuts Seed Oil Extractor 220V
https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/F0BbRJE

# ? Dec 8, 2018 09:43

Bees on Wheat: Jul 18, 2007; I've never been happy

QUAIL DIVISION; Buglord

I thought it was some sort of weird natto machine at first.. honestly I was too afraid to ask, so thanks for that?

Big Bad Beetleborg posted:

I'm not sure what I clicked on to get these recommendations, but that one in the bottom left is a doozy
https://i.imgur.com/2fdi2UT.jpg

Just lol if all of your recommendations don't look like this by now

# ? Dec 8, 2018 12:12

Nettle Soup: Jan 30, 2010; Oh, and Jones was there too.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2018-Cartoon-Kids-Plush-soft-toy-Children-s-toys-for-boys-girls-kids-funny-Russian-toys/32884904599.html

I checked my recommendations, this is what it gave me...

# ? Dec 8, 2018 12:41

mike12345: Jul 14, 2008; "Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

Nettle Soup posted:

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2018-Cartoon-Kids-Plush-soft-toy-Children-s-toys-for-boys-girls-kids-funny-Russian-toys/32884904599.html

I checked my recommendations, this is what it gave me...

finally, a plushie for that thing in Eraserhead

# ? Dec 8, 2018 12:48

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Roguestick posted:

keep forgetting I ordered something. Maybe it will come someday.

I envy people that forget about ae orders. I'm completely unable to do anything besides check shipping status constantly as soon as I am able to

# ? Dec 8, 2018 13:46

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

The last time I made a buncha Ali orders I only got like 2/3rds of my items and the buyers protection was gone by the time I realized they weren't coming. Sucks.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 14:00

norp: Jan 20, 2004; TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP

let's invade New Zealand, they have oil

https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/b2VknvJb

# ? Dec 8, 2018 17:02

slave to my cravings: Mar 1, 2007; Got my mind on doritos and doritos on my mind.

norp posted:

https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/b2VknvJb

Disappointed there isnt an option for our uncirc�d brothers

# ? Dec 8, 2018 17:10

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

Nettle Soup posted:

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2018-Cartoon-Kids-Plush-soft-toy-Children-s-toys-for-boys-girls-kids-funny-Russian-toys/32884904599.html

I checked my recommendations, this is what it gave me...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homunculus_loxodontus

I want one

# ? Dec 8, 2018 17:26

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Charles Bukowski posted:

The last time I made a buncha Ali orders I only got like 2/3rds of my items and the buyers protection was gone by the time I realized they weren't coming. Sucks.

Yeah you have to be on top of it confirming orders that arrive and asking them to extend purchase protection on ones that don't. That part is definitely more of a hassle than shopping anywhere else

# ? Dec 8, 2018 20:37

bar88537: Nov 8, 2004

The baby talk above made me want to get a personalized onesie. Anyone know conversions of Asian to American baby sizes? I suppose I'll need to also account for the 3 month delivery time in the sizing purchase.
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Bab...5.html?spm=2114
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Bab...5.html?spm=2114

# ? Dec 8, 2018 21:08

Not Wolverine: Jul 1, 2007

Anne Whateley posted:

Yeah you have to be on top of it confirming orders that arrive and asking them to extend purchase protection on ones that don't. That part is definitely more of a hassle than shopping anywhere else

Up until my last few orders, I never had any trouble with items showing up. I have only about 20 orders total so I'm certainly no expert, but all of my items showed up until the last watch order. The tracking said "shipment cancelled" the seller didn't respond within 24hrs, the dispute was settled within hours, the seller left me a bad feedback rating. I mean whatever, actually ship your goods or respond or something, I am still a little paranoid the watch might just show up in the mail someday ~~weeks~~ months later. I ordered another F91W rip off and a fitness watch, the second F91W has activity on the tracking so I feel good, the fitness watch has nothing, I'm just waiting for it to say "shipment cancy" again to go through another dispute. But is there any chance at all this stuff might show up even if the tracking says "shipment cancelled"?

As for baby sizes, the last time I ordered the sizes actually fit fine. I would still go a size up and don't spend too much at first, I mean I'd it's small I guess you could try to return it or just donate your lead lined baby outfits to Goodwill.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 22:38

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

While this is one of my favorite James Jean pieces, I don't think he or image gave anybody permission to use it for any kind of embroidery.

aladdin hourglass

# ? Dec 8, 2018 23:02

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 15:18

majestic sea cow: Dec 10, 2010

can anyone recommend (or let me know if there are any brands to avoid) some ali binoculars?
reading a few reviews they all seem to overstate the magnification ability - just want something that will actually be able to be focused any not fall apart the first time i use it.

# ? Dec 9, 2018 05:49

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