/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Bubblyblubber posted:

I mean, he can always agree to the threesome and then exclusively gently caress the other dude while staring dead eyed straight at her the whole time.

You know, as one does in these situations.

I didn't want to search for "threesomes" because that seemed like cheating, but then I did anyways and wow

Me [21F] guilted by my boyfriend [21M] for not pretending to enjoy a threesome.

And the sadly -lacking update:

The boyfriend is a real piece of poo poo here (and should have been unceremoniously dump on his loving rear end immediately) but my first thought about how she just wasn�t attracted to the other girl is that she probably wasn�t white. There�s nothing that explicitly says that in the post, just my gut feeling and the way she phrases things.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:40

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# ? May 31, 2024 16:05

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Barudak posted:

Dont forget the new Avatar section thats coming as well

This sounds like it will be very pretty to look at and a completely cringeworthy experience

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:40

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Pick posted:

How the f do u always know all this poo poo

goons have extensive, if not perfect, knowledge of media aimed ostensibly at the 5-12 age range

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:41

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Ask me anything about power rangers

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:42

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Just laffo if your job has never made you do an indepth financial review of another company because your companies CEO is in a highschool level drama feud with their CEO

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:43

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

Al Borland Corp. posted:

Ask me anything about power rangers

umm, I think you mean Super Sentai :jerkbag:

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:44

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

AnoHito posted:

umm, I think you mean Super Sentai

Sorry I only have intimate knowledge of American tokusatsu adaptations

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:52

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Caganer posted:

My Husband (32M) has 0 Motivation since his Raid Streak was broken in Pok�mon Go.Non-Romantic
(self.relationships)

I play Pokemon Go casually with my girlfriend and it's fun going around catching monsters with her and all... but how can someone become that consumed by a video game to the point that "failing" arbitrary video game goals leads to crushing depression? :goofy:

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:55

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Al Borland Corp. posted:

Ask me anything about power rangers

What's your favorite Power Rangers "ship" and are the ship names identified by the fandom using their composite colors IE orange for Red/Yellow or, like, diarrhea brown for Pink/Green

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:55

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I play Pokemon Go casually with my girlfriend and it's fun going around catching monsters with her and all... but how can someone become that consumed by a video game to the point that "failing" arbitrary video game goals leads to crushing depression?

Finishing Persona 5 actually kinda messed me up a little bit

# ? Mar 6, 2018 16:56

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I play Pokemon Go casually with my girlfriend and it's fun going around catching monsters with her and all... but how can someone become that consumed by a video game to the point that "failing" arbitrary video game goals leads to crushing depression?

I got really miffed when I got the Bad Dad ending for Witcher 3.

I just reloaded the save before I hosed everything up(5 hours earlier) and replayed everything, finishing the game again at 5AM. So I'm not a sad sperg

# ? Mar 6, 2018 17:04

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

loquacius posted:

What's your favorite Power Rangers "ship" and are the ship names identified by the fandom using their composite colors IE orange for Red/Yellow or, like, diarrhea brown for Pink/Green

Ships use their civilian character names. My favorite ship, obviously, would be Divatox and Doggie Kruger, or Doggietox.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 17:07

Nessa: Dec 15, 2008

loquacius posted:

Finishing Persona 5 actually kinda messed me up a little bit

Well, Persona 5 has an actual story and interesting characters and overarching themes of rebellion against what society deems you to be, and power and authority being a corrupting and abusive force.

(Persona 3 Portable was the one that had me in the dumps for a few days.)

Pokemon Go is just tapping the screen fast enough to make the numbers go up and you win.

Nessa fucked around with this message at 17:39 on Mar 6, 2018

# ? Mar 6, 2018 17:11

Arturia: Jan 24, 2017; Can't stop clicking circles

loquacius posted:

Finishing Persona 5 actually kinda messed me up a little bit

I wouldn't say it messed me up or anything because of how the overall tone of the ending was, but the theme stuck with me for a bit with how well done it was.

Turns out Altus is still good at making games based on humanity's problems.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 17:21

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

My �favorite� Pok�mon Go experience at launch was some fat fucker in a Jeep SUV, very slowly veering in and out of the pedestrian lane on a mixed use road in a city park, starting intently at their cell phone. I know the game cuts out at ~5mph or so. He must have been keeping it just under or gaming GPS by zig zagging.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 17:27

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Nessa posted:

Well, Persona 5 has an actual story and interesting characters and overarching themes of rebellion against what society deems you to be, and power and authority being a corrupting and abusive force.

(Persona 3 Portable was the one that had me in the dumps for a few days.)

Pokemon Go is just tapping the screen fast enough to make the numbers go up and you win.

Yup, exactly what I was saying. Pokemon Go is a very casual game you play with your friends while going out other places. It's not an 80 hour RPG with extensive, fleshed out mechanics. The game doesn't even have gameplay or content on par with a MMO like WoW. So I just don't get it...

# ? Mar 6, 2018 17:49

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

Pick posted:

�E-community consultant�

This is brilliant.

loquacius posted:

I heard they were also making a new Magic Kingdom land entirely themed around Toy Story

They're actually making this part of the Hollywood Studios park. You can't cram everything into one park or you can't get people to pay extra for the Park Hopper (TM) pass.

Barudak posted:

Dont forget the new Avatar section thats coming as well

This opened a few months ago.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:01

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Clark Nova posted:

The boyfriend is a real piece of poo poo here (and should have been unceremoniously dump on his loving rear end immediately) but my first thought about how she just wasn�t attracted to the other girl is that she probably wasn�t white. There�s nothing that explicitly says that in the post, just my gut feeling and the way she phrases things.

My guess was the girl was overweight, but this could also be it. OP's avoiding saying something and it makes it tense and awkward. WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT THIS GIRL??

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:05

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The girl was her clone

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:06

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Clark Nova posted:

The boyfriend is a real piece of poo poo here (and should have been unceremoniously dump on his loving rear end immediately) but my first thought about how she just wasn�t attracted to the other girl is that she probably wasn�t white. There�s nothing that explicitly says that in the post, just my gut feeling and the way she phrases things.

They both suck, but the boyfriend is trash and the girl's just stupid as hell. While racism could very well be the "issue", given this is the internet, it's more like the other woman is much bigger than she's attracted to, has a very weird hair style/color, or something more innocuous. It's much harder to get turned on with a stranger you aren't intimately familiar with, even if it's a problem as simple as "she has too many freckles."

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:14

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The other girl was her boyfriend in a wig

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:15

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

StrangersInTheNight posted:

My guess was the girl was overweight, but this could also be it. OP's avoiding saying something and it makes it tense and awkward. WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT THIS GIRL??

Really? All I got from it was she didn�t really like her much the first time (I didn�t think something like race or weight was in play because the GF was at least interested enough to agree the first time) and that general not-into-it feeling was cranked way up by her boyfriend ignoring and correcting (!) her lack of interest so he could get his dick wet. I don�t think you need to be a racist to be turned off in that situation but maybe I am not woke enough to keep up these days

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The other girl was a human skeleton sewn into a fur body shaped like that mechanic lady from chip and dale rescue rangers

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:19

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Barudak posted:

The other girl was a human skeleton sewn into a fur body shaped like that mechanic lady from chip and dale rescue rangers

pick would never be in a threesome

# ? Mar 6, 2018 18:41

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

andrew smash posted:

Really? All I got from it was she didn�t really like her much the first time (I didn�t think something like race or weight was in play because the GF was at least interested enough to agree the first time) and that general not-into-it feeling was cranked way up by her boyfriend ignoring and correcting (!) her lack of interest so he could get his dick wet. I don�t think you need to be a racist to be turned off in that situation but maybe I am not woke enough to keep up these days

Oh I agree the bf ignoring her and correcting her absolutely turned her off and was an issue.

I just thought it read a bit like she was dancing around saying there was some specific reason she didn't like this girl that would make her feel bad, outside of the normal 'letting someone down' guilt. In the end though, she doesn't owe anyone a reason for why she doesn't want to sleep with someone. Her bf pushed too far because he's an rear end in a top hat with no boundaries, and sulked like a baby when it didn't go how he'd wanted.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Mar 6, 2018

# ? Mar 6, 2018 19:46

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 11 days!

boner confessor posted:

pick would never be in a threesome

If the third person had a rubber mask resembling Hugh on the other hand...

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Do they still make Nixon masks

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I�ll be in a Theodore roosevelt/ Hugh combo but it would be weird not to make it completely presidential

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I�m the Nixon obvs

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:57

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Pick posted:

My parents wisely would have offered me a $100 bill instead and I ain�t no fool

My parents would have just said,"No. You can't have it. It's too expensive." And i world have been bummed for an hour and gotten over it, like everything else I asked for as a kid.

Most likely they would have already bought one for my sister. And she would put it on her shelf, in its package, and never play with it. Because that's what she did with toys. I never understood that.

I was such an easy kid to deal with.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:59

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 11 days!

Surprised you wouldn't go for FDR on account of the wheelchair

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

He was a cheater I hate that

# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

TDR by all accounts never did.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:04

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 11 days!

FDR would never leave you though

# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:05

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Palpek posted:

Hell yeah, another gross boyfriend story:

My (26F) boyfriend (27M) of 1 year has really bad oral hygiene and it's getting to the point that I don't even want to kiss him.

Ugh

I worked with a guy worse than this at a call center job in high school. Dude wouldn�t brush and half his teeth were literally rotten or had fallen out already. Other people who knew him better called him �BG� and when he asked why, they said it stood for �baby gangsta�. He was all happy until he overheard another girl telling people BG really stood for �busted grille� because his teeth were so hosed up :lol:

# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Panfilo posted:

FDR would never leave you though

TDR never did either

# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:13

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

My [34F] mother [66F] as a teenager gave up a child in a closed adoption. Decades later, that grown-up child [50sM] tracked down our family, and my mother denied him a relationship. Now my brother [29M] needs a life-saving transplant. Can we contact Half-Bro to see if he's a donor match?

quote:

TL;DR at the bottom. Thank you very much for reading.

My mother got pregnant at sixteen years old. This was in the mid-1960s in a extremely conservative state, and her family was working-class Irish-Catholic. My grandparents did not believe in abortion, and probably couldn�t have afforded to send my mom to some place where it was safe or legal, anyway.

So my mom went away for the last four or five months of her pregnancy to a �school� run by the church and attended by other teenage girls in her unfortunate situation. The child was born healthy and was quickly adopted. It was a closed adoption, so no contact between the adoptive parents and the birth family.

The experience irreparably damaged my mother�s relationships with her parents and (to a lesser extent) her younger sister. When she returned after giving the baby up, my grandparents were not subtle in their opinion that she was �tarnished goods,� and �loose,� and �ungodly,� and etc etc bullshit religious misogyny. They are coldly formal to her even now fifty years later. Her sister, four years younger and quite impressionable, followed her parents� example until she was in college, grew up a little, and finally reached out to my mom, who had since moved fifteen hundred miles away and only called home once a month or so.

I did not find out about any of this until I was fourteen and my half-brother showed up at our house.

That day is all kinda messed up in my mind. I was doing something in the kitchen with my dad and the doorbell rang. I went to answer it and there was this big man standing there just staring at me. I remember he looked like he was gonna cry.

He asked, �Are you [Mom�s married name]�s daughter?�

I said yeah, and was really freaked out because the man was shaking and stuttering.

�I�m your brother,� he said, and sorta reached his hand up, and I didn�t know if he was gonna touch me or grab me or what, and then my dad jerked me backwards and behind him.

That�s probably what I remember most, how my dad put me behind him immediately, making himself a wall. Like all of a sudden realizing my dad thought I was in danger, that scared me more than the weird crazy-talking man at the door.

Anyway, my dad sent me upstairs and I didn�t hear any more of what was said. I was really confused. When my mom came home, my dad ordered pizza for me and my brother and told us to eat in the basement, which was fine with us because that�s where the Super Nintendo was. We could hear our parents talking/explaining/arguing/imploring for hours. We could hear both of them crying at various intervals.

As it turned out, my mom had never told my dad about the child she gave up as a teenager. I truly believe the experience was absolutely traumatizing to her, and once she�d moved out of her parents� house and established her own life, she never thought she�d have to think about it again.

My dad went to stay with my uncle that night. He didn�t come home for about two months.

My mom picked me up from school the next day and told me the story behind the man at the door, who was most likely her son and my half-brother. My mom is smart and capable and tougher than anyone else I know, and I was so shaken to see her tears leaking as we sat in the car in the high school parking lot.

I got some more details from my mom�s sister, some back then and some years later. As far as we can tell, my half-brother probably hired a private investigator to find his birth mother, or else traced his history back to the Catholic girls� school and spoke to someone without proper respect for the privacy of a closed adoption. Because he asked after my mother�s married name, not maiden, we�re pretty sure he had a professional on his side.

Dad was heartbroken that this secret had been kept from him. He came back home eventually, because he still loved my mom, but their relationship was also severely impacted. He would come sleep in my room sometimes because I had a futon in there. They would sit together at the dinner table and only talk to my brother and me, never a word directly to each other. My bro and I began preparing for the inevitable divorce, seeking advice in the matter from the more than half our friends who were already living it. I remember my brother trying to figure out how to swaddle the Super Nintendo in clothes so he could take it back and forth between our parents� houses. It took years for my parents to get back to stasis, honestly not until Bro and I were both out of the house and they could genuinely focus on each other.

I feel like I understand everybody�s perspectives. My mom never should have been shamed and shunned and left alone to give birth at sixteen among strangers. My dad should have been told, as it was a formative event in my mother�s life and the life of the family he was marrying into. My half-bro of course would want to know where he came from.

But we do not talk about this anymore. My aunt told me years later, when I was grown-up, that my mom had met with my half-bro only once after he tracked her down, basically just telling him they couldn�t have a relationship, and she didn�t want him to contact her again. Remember, at that moment my mom wasn�t sure if the reappearance of Half-Bro was going to cost her her marriage, and also that closed adoptions exist for a reason. As far as I know, Half-Bro hasn�t spoken to anyone in my family since.

Okay.

Now, twenty years after Half-Bro found us, fifty years after my mom gave him up, my little brother has been diagnosed with a life-threatening cancer (I�m gonna keep the medical stuff vague because already too much identifiable info in this novel, but the donation would not be like a kidney or a lung, but something the donor�s body would be able to replace), is in desperate need of a transplant, and has not been able to match a donor within our family. He�s on the list, in treatment, and not currently getting worse, but I am so goddamn scared. Seeing him in a hospital bed makes me feel like I got the wind knocked out of me, like I can�t breathe. He�s only twenty-nine years old, I still need him here. We all do.

Can I do this? Can I really ask my mom and dad to contact Half-Bro (I know Mom has his info) and see if he/his family can be tested for donor matches? Is it completely unconscionable to ask a man who has been refused even minimal contact with his birth family, to put his health on the line for a younger brother he�s never been permitted to meet?

I am terrified of this blowing up my parents� marriage, and I am terrified that even asking will hurt and distress Half-Bro immensely (for the record, Bro and I would be happy to have a relationship with Half-Bro, but have never felt it�s our place to pursue such), but I am more terrified of losing my brother. I know how long a shot it is, that Half-Bro would say yes, that he would actually be a match, that the transplant would take, but it�s a chance, it�s better than we have now.

I would do much worse things than this to save my brother. I would have given him whatever he needs, marrow, kidney, lung, heart.

But I haven�t been thinking straight since the diagnosis, admittedly. So here we are.

TL;DR: Mom gave up a child as a teenager, losing the support and love of her parents, and never told my dad when she later met and married him. Half-brother found us when I was in high school, and the revelation nearly broke up my parents� marriage. My mom refused Half-Bro�s request for a relationship. Years later, my full-brother needs a life-saving transplant. Do I ask my mom to contact Half-Bro and see if he would be willing to be tested?