Pick posted:

oh. oh yeah. absolutely. like i am super surprised that this isn't commonly understood in the context of me, pick.

a day hugh made me upset, or confused, or stressed out, or hurt, or sad, or _{thinking about killing myself on his porch} was better than a day i was just doing my god damned work and tracking calories and folding laundry and all that other poo poo

Caganer posted:

Beachcomber posted:

I don't think anyone has noticed that a trip to Hawaii is just as much a gift to himself as the bowling ball was.

quote:

My partner works at a hospital. Last week they told me about a cancer case they’d seen that was, in their words, horrifying.

The patient was a woman who had children—she and her husband had two daughters. This woman has had cancer for years. She was on chemo for a while, but stopped doing chemo so that she could have and breastfeed her first daughter, then AGAIN for the second. At this point it’s pretty dire. If she doesn’t keep up with her treatment she doesn’t have long left to live.

Except, her husband wants her taken off her treatments AGAIN, so they can have another kid. Why? He “wants a son of his own.” Apparently getting to raise two daughters isn’t good enough, he NEEDS a little male child running around with his DNA—more than he needs a living wife it seems!

And she might even go along with it. I find the whole thing disgusting and horrifying. If she doesn’t continue her treatments then she might not even live to give birth to this prospective son. But this guy just doesn’t care. According to my partner, as this discussion was going on, they could feel the disgust and rage just...rolling off of every medical professional in the room. Most of their coworkers are married with kids, and they all looked like they just couldn’t believe what they were hearing and were fighting REALLY hard to keep a professional face.

Just...how? How can someone be so obsessed with the idea of having a son that he is willing to let his wife, the mother of his daughters, die? What kind of selfish, shortsighted bullshit is this?

Just...this case was so off-putting my partner had to take a break after hearing it. You get used to seeing and hearing messed up things at hospitals, but how sick do you have to be to demand your wife endanger herself just because two daughters aren’t good enough for you? He would let these kids grow up motherless just because he wants a son, and he’s determined to keep trying until he gets one. What the gently caress.

Dienes posted:

Its not an /r/relationships but its so batshit and on-theme I feel it fits the thread.

You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress


Dear high school ex-gf of my fiance, I'm so totally not jealous of you. Look at how much I don't care, I'm totally secure, not jealous at all. I don't even think of you.

Poor bastard is going to come home one day to his wife in a faded prom dress, covered in blood.

Guy Goodbody posted:

Mirthless posted:

saw this today and thought of u


it's a childfree post

quote:

I've been with him for 6 months. He has become very controlling of me. He picks fights when I go out with girl-friends. I send him pictures and he claims there are other guys in the images. If I don't text or call him every 30 minutes, he becomes angry and turns everything around like it's my fault. I can't take it. Last time I tried to break it off, he tried to commit suicide. He was found by his son and rushed to the hospital. He barely survived it. So he's not bluffing.

I want him out of my life and I told him I was done. He planned to kill himself again. So, I told him I was sorry and stayed with him. I just can't live with the guilt of someone doing this because of me.

How do I dump this guy without living with the fact that I caused him to die. I feel so trapped and I've been in a constant state of anxiety. Having him commited won't work either. It's already been done and it didn't do anything. I'm so desperate to get away from him.

Caganer posted:

i don't want kids, but i never use the phrase childfree because i don't like the connotations. i'm more of a sarah silverman style childfree. (my existence is pain and i refuse to pass on this curse)

anyways, here's some content

BF(46m) threatening suicide if I (31f) leave him.

Pick posted:

kill yourself on his porch!

Caganer posted:

BF(46m) threatening suicide if I (31f) leave him.

Beachcomber posted:

Caganer posted:

i like to play the hard tough, but if someone is legit "i'll kill myself without you" and it isn't coming off as a manipulation tactic but a cry for help, it's very distressing

PetraCore posted:

Yeah and that's when you help them check into someplace for their mental health or call a wellness check on them, imo, depending on whether or not they're willing to get help. Ofc if they aren't willing to get help a wellness check only does so much but it can at least disrupt immediate plans for suicide long enough for them to reconsider.

Caganer posted:

i like to play the hard tough, but if someone is legit "i'll kill myself without you" and it isn't coming off as a manipulation tactic but a cry for help, it's very distressing

Dienes posted:

I imagine being trapped in a relationship with someone who is holding themselves hostage is also distressing.

Dienes posted:

I imagine being trapped in a relationship with someone who is holding themselves hostage is also distressing.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

and, uh, was molested

Caganer posted:

i don't want kids, but i never use the phrase childfree because i don't like the connotations. i'm more of a sarah silverman style childfree. (my existence is pain and i refuse to pass on this curse)

anyways, here's some content

BF(46m) threatening suicide if I (31f) leave him.

quote:

Last time I tried to break it off, he tried to commit suicide. He was found by his son and rushed to the hospital. He barely survived it. So he's not bluffing.

PetraCore posted:

Yeah and that's when you help them check into someplace for their mental health or call a wellness check on them, imo, depending on whether or not they're willing to get help. Ofc if they aren't willing to get help a wellness check only does so much but it can at least disrupt immediate plans for suicide long enough for them to reconsider.

Scathach posted:

At least a wellness check will almost always turn into a 72-hr hold with mandatory medication, mandatory therapy, and
continuing counseling about healthcare/insurance/therapy after their release. I had to do that to someone I knew and it helped a lot, even here in bumfuck USA.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

haha whoa man, that's something there , that you said

Pick posted:

kill yourself on his porch!

quote:

Q. How to ask for an open relationship: I’ve been with my wife for eight years, married for three, and we recently had a baby. I love my wife, and I adore our baby girl, but while I love my wife, I’m not “in love” with her anymore, and I’m no longer attracted to her physically.
Our relationship is more like two roommates who share parenting duties. She is my best friend, and I love her like a sister. I don’t want a divorce. Instead, I want to ask her if I can open the relationship.

Of course if we open it, I’d be happy to let her date as well. How do I gently broach the topic without hurting her feelings? I love her and I want to be happy, and even though I’m no longer attracted to her, I want us to continue to be a family. She knows something is wrong, but I’m not sure how to tell her how I feel. Please help.

A: Oh, dear. I’m not sure the things you want—to inform your wife you’re no longer attracted to her, nor in love with her, that you think of her as a sister, that you’d be totally cool if she decided to get a boyfriend, that you’d like to sleep with other people, and to keep from hurting her feelings—are compatible or even possible.

If you reread your letter, I think you must be aware on some level that you are not on the verge of breaking news of some cool, exciting new opportunity to your wife. You say she “knows something is wrong,” which suggests that she does not “love you like a brother” and has also fallen out of romantic love with you, and that she is not likely to be excited at the prospect of starting an open relationship together. Whatever you ultimately decide to share with her, I think you should be realistic about the odds that your confession will result in a divorce, whether you want it to or not.

The two of you just had a baby—not always the most exciting, sexy time in a relationship—and I’m inclined to think that if you sit on this confession for a little while, you may feel some relief over not rushing to share all of these feelings with her as they arise. That doesn’t mean you two can’t have serious conversations about your goals and your feelings, merely that you don’t have to share every single impulse that’s currently floating around in your head.

Caganer posted:

yup, and that's when they twist this into you being an evil person who was pissed they wouldn't gently caress you and get bullied incessantly for years.

Scathach posted:

At least a wellness check will almost always turn into a 72-hr hold with mandatory medication, mandatory therapy, and
continuing counseling about healthcare/insurance/therapy after their release. I had to do that to someone I knew and it helped a lot, even here in bumfuck USA.

mllaneza posted:

Content ! Found on Facebook,


Help! My Wife Just Had a Baby. How Should I Tell Her I Want an Open Relationship?

PetraCore posted:

Yup! Someone with severe and untreated mental issues isn't going to suddenly be cured, but interrupting someone's immediate suicidal path and at least making resources available to them can help a lot.

Pick posted:

c'mon cags, i managed to have a good relationship with a mother whose parenting involved taking inspiration from sophie's choice and is still got over it*


*she'd also routinely point out that sophie then continues to be in an abused relationship and allow it, out of grief, but eventually cajoles her abusive husband into murder-suicide or something? i choose not to read into it too much

Pick posted:

c'mon cags, i managed to have a good relationship with a mother whose parenting involved taking inspiration from sophie's choice and is still got over it*


*she'd also routinely point out that sophie then continues to be in an abused relationship and allow it, out of grief, but eventually cajoles her abusive husband into murder-suicide or something? i choose not to read into it too much

PetraCore posted:

She was covertly floating the idea of a murder suicide at you but then got better.

JK but man you think she'd get the hint that Sophie's choice hosed up Sophie.

Pick posted:

no the sophie's choice part was deciding which of my stuffed animals i would choose to be buuuurned if I was bad

Pick posted:

no the sophie's choice part was deciding which of my stuffed animals i would choose to be buuuurned if I was bad

Pick posted:

c'mon cags, i managed to have a good relationship with a mother whose parenting involved taking inspiration from sophie's choice and is still got over it*

Pick posted:

the animals were my friends

PetraCore posted:

Yes.

Blink once if your middle name is Sophie, pick. You're among friends here, sort of. This is a safe place, mostly.