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*Hears more helicopters pass by than cars*
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May 4, 2017 08:02
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*Rush hour traffic is so bad on a Friday I may as well stay late at work instead of leaving early, or just call in sick if I want to get a head start on going out of town for a weekend.* *A bunch of bored 18-24 year old men in buzz cuts prowling all of the local bars with nothing to lose and everything to prove turns all the chill places into stabbing central*
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May 4, 2017 08:13
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*Is one of the lucky ones when nuclear war breaks out* *because the base is vaporized and death comes instantly* 
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May 4, 2017 08:23
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*Doesn't vote because it's all going red anyway "Under carter we didn't even have toilet paper! "
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May 4, 2017 08:29
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"Sorry pop-pop, have to cut face time short. The locals are back yelling about the rapes again"
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May 4, 2017 08:37
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Ramrod Hotshot posted:*Is one of the lucky ones when nuclear war breaks out* This, but unironically
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May 4, 2017 12:29
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*has to salute all the time to honor brave soldiers* *Can not wear US flag pants anymore since soldiers would randomly start pledging allegiance on the street and its very distracting* *all the chicks avoid me since my gun is tiny, so small, haha* At least that's how I imagine it as a non-american
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May 4, 2017 12:39
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*Every freeway ramp and intersection has at least one bum* *Every store asks if you get a military discount* That 10% off really helps the guys who can't hold down a job, huh?
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May 4, 2017 14:37
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*House shakes every weekend as artillery training takes place* *picks up garbage cans knocked over by low flying chinooks*
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May 4, 2017 14:48
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(as a teenager) *make friends with children of military families, all of which are either big liars who brag about daddy's rank & are incredibly insecure about the prospects that America might not be #1
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May 4, 2017 14:50
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Speleothing posted:*Every freeway ramp and intersection has at least one bum* *gets horseshoe haircut and demands military discount, saving me hundreds every year *
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May 4, 2017 14:53
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Every intersection turning from red to green is an impromptu drag race.
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May 4, 2017 17:40
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*visits that nearby city* *awed by first experience of this bizarre thing called a subway* *climbs on top of the train to ride it for yukks* *gets decapitated* One every five years in NYC lol
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May 4, 2017 18:46
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ProperCoochie posted:*visits that nearby city* 
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May 4, 2017 18:51
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Ramrod Hotshot posted:*Is one of the lucky ones when nuclear war breaks out* Accurate assessment. Anyone who doubts this should watch all of Threads. It's probably still on YouTube somewhere.
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May 4, 2017 22:18
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DancingShade posted:Accurate assessment. Best IMDB credit EVER
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May 4, 2017 22:21
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I live in such a town. So many homeless people. 
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May 4, 2017 22:28
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Macrame_God posted:I live in such a town. So many homeless people. They should join the Army. Problem solved.
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May 4, 2017 22:29
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one time i drove to denver from saint louis and you have to go through kansas which is like 700 miles of pure corn fields and self loathing. it had been hours since i left kansas city and i wasn't even loving halfway done with the drive, exhausted and hungry, and not excited for whatever bullshit food opportunities i could find at Fort Riley. then i saw it. Off the interstate, projecting its dim light with one out of it's four fluorescent light bulbs i saw it - All You Can Eat. Chinese. Buffet. i ate the gently caress out of that chinese buffet. it was the best i've ever been to.
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May 4, 2017 22:29
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*wife goes out on the town for her girlfriend's stag night* *gets gangbanged by 43 marines in the back room of a bar*
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May 4, 2017 22:31
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i honestly thought a well dressed man would come up to me in between splitting crab legs with my bare hands and solemly tell me that i was welcome to stay for as long as i wanted at no charge, but i could never leave and i didn't even get food poisoning
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May 4, 2017 22:31
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What do high school proms look like in such towns? I lived in a metro area near a navy base, but not really a military town, and any school dance was always plagued by a few motards dating a student who would show up drunk or try to strut and pick fights with kids 3 years their junior.
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May 4, 2017 22:35
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I hope it was in the memo line of every check edit: that Ann Sellors wrote since then I mean. Maybe before. Dare to dream.
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May 4, 2017 22:44
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nigga crab pollock posted:one time i drove to denver from saint louis and you have to go through kansas which is like 700 miles of pure corn fields and self loathing. it had been hours since i left kansas city and i wasn't even loving halfway done with the drive, exhausted and hungry, and not excited for whatever bullshit food opportunities i could find at Fort Riley. then i saw it. Off the interstate, projecting its dim light with one out of it's four fluorescent light bulbs i saw it - All You Can Eat. Chinese. Buffet.
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May 4, 2017 22:52
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Last Buffalo posted:What do high school proms look like in such towns? Tbf Colorado Springs isn't exactly a small town either
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May 4, 2017 22:58
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hi, im the bank. i own about 95% of this place.
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May 4, 2017 22:58
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:All You Can Eat Chinese Buffets are the main thing keeping rural/red state America going at this point I think. Too bad their very existence is based on borderline slave labor
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May 4, 2017 23:12
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OXBALLS DOT COM posted:Too bad their very existence is based on borderline slave labor Are the conditions in the crab puff mines really that bad?
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May 4, 2017 23:26
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Psycho Society posted:Are the conditions in the crab puff mines really that bad? Rangoon lung
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May 4, 2017 23:27
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Globalization should have been declared a success with the Americanization of Chinese food, and then stopped from going any further
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May 4, 2017 23:37
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cool new Polack jokes posted:Globalization should have been declared a success with the Americanization of Chinese food, and then stopped from going any further Americans eating Chinese food is cultural appropriation and that is problematic.
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May 4, 2017 23:42
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jet noise gently caress yeah!!!
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May 4, 2017 23:44
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...and the pitch! posted:Rangoon lung
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May 4, 2017 23:48
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Jose Mengelez posted:*notices some of the houses are just facades, everyone in town is a shop mannequin and a really loud alarm klaxon just started* Lol
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May 5, 2017 00:09
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theperminator posted:Americans eating Chinese food is cultural appropriation and that is problematic. I don't eat foreign food because I don't want to offend other cultures. Sushi probably tastes like poo poo anyway.
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May 5, 2017 00:44
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uber_stoat posted:love to have multiple b-52s fly low over my dumb house everyday. You're in Shreveport, that rumble is the only reason you think you're alive, because the smell of that town says otherwise.
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May 5, 2017 01:04
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there's also Casinos.
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May 5, 2017 01:25
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lovely bars but good ethnic food restaurants.
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May 5, 2017 01:41
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theperminator posted:Americans eating Chinese food is cultural appropriation and that is problematic. most chinese buffets are fronts so the triad can launder money because of how buffets report income so you're helping someone who probably hates whitey when you eat at one
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May 5, 2017 01:51
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Out shopping, my 5 year old son needs to pee. Let me just find a nearby bathroom stall without a glory hole drilled into it...gently caress it, we're using the womens restroom.
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May 5, 2017 01:50
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