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Ugly In The Morning posted:Way back in the day my friends and I went to this German restaurant on a work night and just went to town on beer, cabbage, and beef. Was it one of those ungodly toilets with a poop shelf?
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Dec 29, 2020 03:56
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| # ? May 26, 2024 02:29 |
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Was it one of those ungodly toilets with a poop shelf? Wait, wtf is a poop shelf. My imagination is not doing my evening any favors.
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Dec 29, 2020 04:23
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The Strangest Finch posted:Wait, wtf is a poop shelf. It's a shelf found in German toilets for making GBS threads on so you can examine your poop for abnormalities before shoving it into the water with a disposable plastic fork and flushing. It's supposedly for health reasons, but be real, these are Germans we're talking about, it's clearly due to their national scheisse fetish.
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Dec 29, 2020 04:36
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Dove chocolate
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Dec 29, 2020 04:40
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Poop is on it’s way out, OP
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Dec 29, 2020 04:55
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I had a bad poop day today. Its kind of like a bad hair day but for making GBS threads.
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Dec 29, 2020 06:17
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Was it one of those ungodly toilets with a poop shelf? Restaurant that served German food, not restaurant in the land of weird toilets.
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Dec 29, 2020 09:49
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Time to poop
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Dec 29, 2020 12:50
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I’ve been working out 30-60 minutes every day for a couple months and I noticed I was doing one enormous poo poo every morning like a real toilet clogger also nice and firm but I fell off the exercise wagon over the holidays and now I’m doing like 2 or 3 real lackluster shits a day both in quality and quantity going to start exercising again today will keep thread advised on my stools hopefully they go back to the way they were within a few days.
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Dec 29, 2020 15:51
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sitting on the john, in agony while I hold it in, until I get the thread’s verdict on the whether pooping is still cool
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Dec 29, 2020 16:49
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I only poop when I want to, I don't let my butt dicktate the schedule. Once, every other day.
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Dec 29, 2020 17:53
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My rear end in a top hat asks me not to poop at least once a day
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Dec 29, 2020 17:54
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bird with big dick posted:I’ve been working out 30-60 minutes every day for a couple months and I noticed I was doing one enormous poo poo every morning like a real toilet clogger also nice and firm but I fell off the exercise wagon over the holidays and now I’m doing like 2 or 3 real lackluster shits a day both in quality and quantity going to start exercising again today will keep thread advised on my stools hopefully they go back to the way they were within a few days. Working out definitely changes your poop chute schedule, you gotta show that butthole who's boss tho. Don't let it decide on its own.
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Dec 29, 2020 17:55
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Work out your butthole and leftover lube will assist pooping
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Dec 29, 2020 17:58
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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poo poo on company time. making GBS threads has only grown in popularity as wages have stagnated.
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Dec 29, 2020 19:49
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I try to emulate the president and while I'm on the john every morning I prefer to rage tweet at my real and perceived enemies. It really helps me in my strain to pass these tremendously greasy shits.
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Dec 29, 2020 20:01
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Took two pretty deec shits today. None while posting in this thread though. THey were both a bit red though. I guess the beets that I had last night are making their way through.
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Dec 29, 2020 22:36
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VinylonUnderground posted:I made the mistake of doing the same thing in Bangkok and then later Paris because I'd gotten so used to it. People looked at me like I was committing a murder. i don't believe you, for one thing I have heard the exact opposite about making GBS threads in paris specifically from someone who goes there regularly. i saw a dude take a poo poo at the beach in the shallow surf and nobody batted an eye. You just have to do it right.
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Dec 29, 2020 22:43
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wesleywillis posted:Took two pretty deec shits today. None while posting in this thread though. Let's hope! Eat beets, red poop. Eat asparagus funky smelling piss.
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Dec 29, 2020 23:19
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zaepg posted:Let's hope! Eat beets, red poop. Eat asparagus funky smelling piss.
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Dec 29, 2020 23:22
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multivitamin to make ur piss neon yellow
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Dec 29, 2020 23:58
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numberoneposter posted:multivitamin to make ur piss neon yellow gently caress yeah get a buddy to take iron supplements and do a lemon/lime twist piss. 
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Dec 30, 2020 00:08
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I'm still a big fan. Today was almost nightmarish though. But I made it! I watched a bunch of tv last night, ate good food and drank 6-7 beers. This morning I had coffee and breakfast, and and a nice BM. But you know that lingering feeling you aren't quite done but its not happening now? I left the house like that went and drove to a friend's place. A couple hours later now and I'm leaving there, driving slowly down an icy dirt road to get to the county roads and the highway, and I feel it, like it came out of nowhere, my guts start gurgling. Its about 45 minutes to get home, but I'm suddenly wondering if I just need to stop in the middle of this road, hop out and let loose on the side of the road. There is a gas station just down at the highway a mile or so away, so I figure I can make it there. I've stopped here for fuel and food for years, so no biggy, I feel fine to stop and use their restroom. Now this is a bizarrely cool gas station, there is a sandwich shop, convenience store, and an actual sit-down family style restaurant there. Easily a dozen+ people in this place most mornings. I pull in and park as close as I can to the door cause danger was approaching and I had no time to waste. I know the men's here only has one urinal and one stall, and I'm thinking "gently caress, if the stall is occupied I might have to knock at the women's and use that". Stall was free! I drop trou and in seconds am just pissing out my rear end. The stench was amazing, eye-watering, my brain is thinking "oh my god that is horrifying, and haha that is horrifying" at the same time, but Its Bad. There is no way this little restroom is going to contain that stench for long... it is going to spread. I am actually friend of a friend of one of the cashiers there, so we chit chat all the time. Thankfully she was helping another customer so I did not have to say hi or be acknowledged as I left. Just slipped out the door. But god, another 5 minutes later and I can almost guarantee people in there were smelling it and wondering wtf. Like, is there something wrong in this building levels of worry I would imagine. It felt great though to get it out and feeling all back to normal now.  That is my TED talk for today, thank you for attending!
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Dec 30, 2020 01:10
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As I reply to this thread I have a whole log sliding out of me. This is not a joke shitpost. Its really happening. Well it is a shitpost. But only because I'm making GBS threads while I post it.
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Dec 30, 2020 02:24
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Internetjack posted:I'm still a big fan. Today was almost nightmarish though. But I made it! This post has it all. Lead up, suspense, and a satisfying ending. Thank you for your report.
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Dec 30, 2020 05:22
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I pooped once it was ok.
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Dec 30, 2020 07:09
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:This post has it all. Lead up, suspense, and a satisfying ending. Thank you for your report. 
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Dec 30, 2020 07:37
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Mrs. Dash posted:As I reply to this thread I have a whole log sliding out of me. This is not a joke shitpost. Its really happening. Well it is a shitpost. But only because I'm making GBS threads while I post it. Hey good luck in there! (Although I hope you’re done by now)
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Dec 30, 2020 08:05
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Honestly I try not to
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Dec 30, 2020 08:09
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Hey I was directed to this thread I guess this is the designated poop thread? I was thinking of getting a bidet attachment for my toilet. Seems cleaner I don't know. Anyone have any tips on what I should get? Ever since I got the idea I've been getting non-stop ads for tushy.com bidets all over facebook, youtube, reddit etc, which is pretty annoying and creepy, and I'd rather not reward them for it. I just want one that installs easily to my current toilet. Also I've never used a bidet, how's it work? I get that it sprays your rear end in a top hat with water but like how hard is it spraying? How do you ensure all the poop is off? Do you hose it down and then give a wipe with some TP to test it/dry it out? Do you give your rear end in a top hat a little scrub with your hand like you're in the shower?
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Dec 30, 2020 09:20
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The Fattest PI posted:Hey I was directed to this thread I guess this is the designated poop thread? You can get bidet attachments that just go under the toilet seat and comes with a splitter valve to redirect some of the water going to the tank. The first time you use it will definitely be a bit of a shock, I mean it takes a bit of pressure to blast out sticky poop chunks. After the first time it feels pretty fuckin good to blast your butthole with water after taking a fat poo poo. And yes, still keep TP around to wipe the water out and double check for any leftover. 95% of the time a single blast is all it takes to clean things up. Get a loving bidet.
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Dec 30, 2020 14:24
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Love to go into a bathroom just as a 400 pound dude comes out all red faced sweaty huffing and puffing
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Dec 30, 2020 15:31
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Lots of shitposting itt
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Dec 30, 2020 15:50
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Reading this thread while pooping. edit: a double flusher numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Dec 30, 2020 |
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Dec 30, 2020 20:40
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running in here to say poopular hope no one else has edit: Vim Fuego posted:Poopular Motherfucker posted:*runs into thread all sweaty*
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Dec 30, 2020 21:01
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christmas boots posted:Hey good luck in there! (Although I hope you’re done by now) Made it out just fine. Felt great. Perfect consistency. Only had to wipe twice.
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Dec 30, 2020 22:00
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Pissed on my grandmother's poo poo without realizing it, walked into the bathroom blinded because my blood pressure shot up so fast from bursting out of bed in the midst of night because my bladder was yanking on my apparatus so badly I had to piss that I felt dribbles squirting out my dilz-hole willy nilly, realized too late what had happened when the miasmatic stench pressure washed my nostrils with pure diarrheic olfactory flagellation, I looked down with my vision returning like an ocean frothing back to land and I saw it, within the mass of her turds I was presently chunking off with my unrestrained stream was a whole rear end copy of the 2020 best selling videogame Cyberpunk 2077. I had told my grandmother to stop eating Polish junk food.
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Dec 30, 2020 22:14
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I'm often quite regular, but sometimes I poo poo brass door handles and
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Dec 30, 2020 22:22
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This morning I shat an elephant in my pajamas. Why I shat my pajamas I'll never know.
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Dec 30, 2020 22:58
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BigBadSteve posted:But not in a spacesuit, I hope. not only do they wear diapers in space, but also while marathon driving so they can kill a lerson involved in their love triangle
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Dec 31, 2020 00:45
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