/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

blackmet posted:

Interns: We think we should have more flexibility in what we wear to work.

Manager: No, we're not changing our policies.

Interns: But Sue can wear shoes that aren't a part of the dress code. Why is that?

Manager: That's between her and us. Now get back to work.

Interns: Hey! I know what we can do! Let's circulate a petition amongst us demanding a looser dress code and pointing out that it's not fair that Sue can wear tennis shoes to work. We'll drop it on the CEO'S desk! That'll show them.

*************

CEO: What the gently caress is this? Why am I dealing with this bullshit from a bunch of children who aren't even real employees?

Manager: I don't know. We already told them no.

CEO: Fire 'em. Not like they do anything that helps my bottom line anyway.

*******
Manager: CEO is pissed. Got to let you all go.

Interns: WHAT! WE WERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD! SUE HAD BETTER BE GETTING FIRED TOO!

Manager: This isn't a democracy and you're annoying us, so go find something else to do for the summer. BTW, Sue lost her leg in Iraq, so we have a deal with her that she can wear whatever shoes she wants.

In the end, you've probably wasted 2 days worth of company time and caused a huge ruckus over something that should have been a 2 minute conversation.

Firing them might be extreme, but these are 3 month employees who are contributing little to your bottom line and probably annoying the gently caress out of you and any of your paid, producing staff that might be near them.

Nice fanfiction retard

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:04

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:04

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

If you suck enough CEO dick, they'll treat you well eventually! Keep defending them on the Internet!

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:06

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Menstrual Show posted:

I love that there are still people out there who see HR as something other than a cost center whose sole purpose is to track hours and limit company liability. Sorry to all of you Chief People Officers or whatever out there!

Well, an employee sneaking in to a medical center under false pretenses to harass patients as official company business seems like one hell of a liability. HR has to protect the company from your lovely boss just the same as they have to protect it from you.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:11

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

WampaLord posted:

If you suck enough CEO dick, they'll treat you well eventually! Keep defending them on the Internet!

No, it's more a case of "you knew what the dress code was before you signed up for this internship. If that was going to be a problem, should have found something else."

If I was in a management/HR position, and tenured, good employees were coming to me saying "I think our dress code is too strict," I'd be willing to work with them.

If it's interns and contractors with 2 weeks of experience bitching about it...I'm probably not going to do much more than have a 2 minute conversation about what it is and why we have it. If they want to escalate it into a huge deal, I'm not going to say much more than "deal with it or find something else."

Also, maybe it's just me, but unless you're wearing flip flops that make a horrible slapping sound down the hall, I won't notice what shoes you're wearing. Nor is it my job to narc on you even if you're wearing flip flops. The fact that this entire group of people is making it their duty to be dress code police makes me think they're not really being productive.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:34

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

blackmet posted:

No, it's more a case of "you knew what the dress code was before you signed up for this internship. If that was going to be a problem, should have found something else."

If I was in a management/HR position, and tenured, good employees were coming to me saying "I think our dress code is too strict," I'd be willing to work with them.

If it's interns and contractors with 2 weeks of experience bitching about it...I'm probably not going to do much more than have a 2 minute conversation about what it is and why we have it. If they want to escalate it into a huge deal, I'm not going to say much more than "deal with it or find something else."

Also, maybe it's just me, but unless you're wearing flip flops that make a horrible slapping sound down the hall, I won't notice what shoes you're wearing. Nor is it my job to narc on you even if you're wearing flip flops. The fact that this entire group of people is making it their duty to be dress code police makes me think they're not really being productive.

Sounds like you're a lovely boss

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:41

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

Improbable Lobster posted:

Sounds like you're a lovely boss

Sounds like you're a lovely intern.

Edit: OK that was harsh. I'm not a boss (I'm a team lead -- boss without the power!), and I sit around two people who don't do poo poo and bitch about EVERYTHING. I'm basically taking these two ladies, deducting 25 years off of them, and putting them in an intern role. I'd probably not waste my time with them if it was my choice, because it's mentally and emotionally exhausting. We purposely keep the other desks closest to them empty to minimize the b.s. others have to go thru.

blackmet fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Jan 3, 2017

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:49

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I would follow the dress code to a T and then get a good reference letter when I left, despite working less hard than the other interns who wanted to have purple hair. hehehe

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:52

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

Those interns handled that stupidly, formal dress code is just a thing at some companies even if it's becoming outdated and the workplace brings way bigger bullshit that you just have to quietly deal with sometimes. However lol @ anyone who thinks unpaid interns are being done a service by the companies that "employ" them.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:59

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

ThePeavstenator posted:

Those interns handled that stupidly, formal dress code is just a thing at some companies even if it's becoming outdated and the workplace brings way bigger bullshit that you just have to quietly deal with sometimes. However lol @ anyone who thinks unpaid interns are being done a service by the companies that "employ" them.

It's never stated that they were unpaid.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:12

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Trevor Hale posted:

It's never stated that they were unpaid.

If they're paid, it invalidates the whole "firing them is easier than dealing with the problem" cop out that blackmet fabricated.

Firing paid employees over such a trivial thing would be extremely bad management. Imagine the cost of re-hiring and re-training.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:15

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

WampaLord posted:

If they're paid, it invalidates the whole "firing them is easier than dealing with the problem" cop out that blackmet fabricated.

Firing paid employees over such a trivial thing would be extremely bad management. Imagine the cost of re-hiring and re-training.

How would you have handled the situation?

I wouldn't have fired them. Internships are for learning and this can be a learning experience without torpedoing their summer. That said, the interns were out of line once they got told no and should have dropped it.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:18

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

WampaLord posted:

If they're paid, it invalidates the whole "firing them is easier than dealing with the problem" cop out that blackmet fabricated.

Interns are easy to fire paid or not.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:19

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I (17m) cannot stand my special needs brother (21m)Non-Romantic
submitted 9 hours ago by mjmesco

quote:

Some backstory: my brother and I have never really got along. Every time we had to work together, it would always end up with him claiming his way to do something was better than mine. I admit, when I was younger I would instigate a lot, but as I got older and more mature the instigating would stop but he never lost his prideful and stubborn attitude. Also as the title states, he has special needs. I'm not sure what they are exactly, my parents always kept me and my siblings in the dark about it. They begrudgingly described him as having "processing issues." I don't know if he has autism or what, but if not autism then it is very similar.
My brother is currently in college, and is visiting for Christmas break. He has been absolutely unbearable. Some things that he's done include: nitpicking, complaining about life at home without offering a solution, being an all around jerk to my siblings, complains about so many things because he's used to getting his way, and I also suspect he stole money from me.
A good example of the nitpicking would be when anyone's driving, he just has to be a backseat driver. Every time I'm backing up, or switching lanes, he feels the need to check the mirrors and tell me "you're good" (after I've already checked.) Also note that he has gotten into an accident and totaled his car before, I have not.
Along with the nitpicking he complains too goddamn much. A week ago my mom had him run errands for her, and he was telling me how much he hates running errands for my mom. Literally 2 sentences later he was complaining about how my siblings apparently never help out at home, which isn't true because we all have assigned jobs, he does not because he is in college. This got me very angry because he was basically saying that everyone else needs to help out more when he was just complaining about helping out.
He can be very rude and mean to me and my siblings. If someone is doing something that annoys him, instead of politely asking them to stop, he almost yells at them in the nastiest tone you can imagine. He has done this in front of my parents, and has faced no repercussions for doing so. However, when any of my other siblings are nasty to each other, they get told off and sometimes punished.
When he complains about something going wrong in his life my parents almost always change things so it's better for him. When he was still living at home, his chore was doing the dishes. He didn't like how he had to wash the water bottles, so he told my parents that he didn't want to and they told my siblings everyone needs to wash their own water bottles. When he left for college, my chore became washing the dishes and I had to wash everyone's bottles! I don't mind washing them, it's just that I'm annoyed that he is getting his way all the time.
Another example; we recently moved in mid-summer, and one of the bedrooms was in the basement. It was also a good setup for a craft room, and my brother likes making puppets, so he got the room until he left for college in august. When he left, I moved down there, which he was not happy about. When he came back for thanksgiving break, he had a big fit about how he wanted that room for himself. This doesn't make any sense, he's only home for 4 months out of the entire year! Anyways, about a week after he left for college my parents told me to start sleeping in my younger brothers room. That room is very small, I don't even have room for my dresser. I'll have to get a new one that fits in the room.
And finally, the suspected theft. I don't have a bank account that I can access on my own, so I kept about $400 in an envelope hidden between the pages of a book. I know this isn't a very smart thing to do, but I had presents to buy for Christmas and I also have a car so I needed gas money. Well after my brother complained to my parents that he wanted the basement room, he went down there to move out his stuff that was still in there from when it was his room. After he went back to school, I noticed I had only $120 in the envelope. I'm not sure if I had $400 to begin with, but I know it was at least $300. I know that may not seem like a lot, but it was for me. Anyways I was trying to figure out if he really did take it, and I looked in his journal to see if I could find anything about it. I know you shouldn't do that, but I was desperate to find out what happened to my money. In the journal one of the pages said this: "I hope mom and dad see eye to eye with me about kicking [my] rear end and all of his worthless poo poo out of that room downstairs, because that room is a sacred place where artists bring their dreams to life." He also said he wants to start a puppet making business, full time. My parents kicked me out of that room because my brother wants to make a business that he's only made a couple hundred through, a full time job.
He is here for another two weeks, and I absolutely cannot stand him, and neither can my siblings. I've tried approaching my parents about these issues, but they always side with my brother because of his special needs. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: my brother is driving me crazy, always gets his way, is rude, and complains about anything. Parents won't do anything about it

I like that this guy wants a private room for his puppets

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:21

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Autism can be a reason someone is an rear end in a top hat but it can't be an excuse, and it's not the responsibility of normal people to have to suck it up all the time.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:24

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

zakharov posted:

How would you have handled the situation?

I wouldn't have fired them. Internships are for learning and this can be a learning experience without torpedoing their summer. That said, the interns were out of line once they got told no and should have dropped it.

Discipline them, explain the reason for the dress code. Absolutely no need to fire them.

Alternatively, they could loosen up the dress code, but I'm guessing they would view that as totally unacceptable and whatever, they can be conservative about it if they want.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:26

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Yeah, I assume the older brother is definitely ASD, but the parents are doing both him and his siblings a disservice by not being honest about the diagnosis and helping the whole family to cope. A lot of that one is just sad, but... the puppets!

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:26

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

WampaLord posted:

If they're paid, it invalidates the whole "firing them is easier than dealing with the problem" cop out that blackmet fabricated.

Firing paid employees over such a trivial thing would be extremely bad management. Imagine the cost of re-hiring and re-training.

That makes sense. And is basically what I said.

Paid, permanent employees (especially if I know they're decent at their jobs): "Ok. Let's talk. What do you think would be more reasonable?"

Unpaid interns/temps: "It is what it is. This is why. We're not going to have extended discussions on this, you're here to learn/do a job. What Sue wears isn't your business." If they keep going, it could go to termination (depending on many factors...if I already don't like your performance, sticking a petition on a CEO's desk might be my final straw). I've seen contractors get dropped for less.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:33

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Shut the gently caress up about interns. If you want to discuss that stuff make a Ask A Manager thread and continue your conversation there.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:38

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

^^oops, sorry for continuing detail, I was writing this when you posted it

Nothing to see here

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:40

naptalan: Feb 18, 2009

No, this is a good derail. Let's talk more about appropriate professional attire.

I [19M] and issues with my business-systems lecturer [46F]; it affects me and my in-class partner [20F].

quote:

I'm 19 and in my first year of university. Today my business systems lecturer gave me and my in-class partner Tanya a business role-play assignment which we have to do in front of the class in four weeks time, and ours read:

BDSM AND SEX INDUSTRY
Research about the sex industry and investigate the following topics:

How it makes its money
Types of industries
Notable brand names etc.

Please wear a PVC or latex croptop and briefs for your presentation, whilst delivering it, and role-play a fictional company that sells BDSM gear promoting its products at a trade fair.

Other students got similar business roleplay assignments of research a company, role-play a company at a trade fair in various sectors. One got the mobility industry/Uber/self-driving cars as an assignment!
I complained to her, but she insisted:

It's your assignment. Don't complain about things you don't like. Sheesh, I don't want to deal with irritating people. Grow up and do your research.

Me and Tanya get on well, have done since I started. She's single but she is interested in me and I am attracted to her, we haven't been on a date yet.
However, we're both creeped out about this and she's worrying about how she'll get hold of the gear, let alone explaining it to her housemates if she has to order it online.
Was my lecturer out of order to do this and should I complain further? Could this be bad PR for the university if it becomes public?
Tanya told me she feels like sharing the entire assignment on Instagram to make a point but I'm not sure.
How should I deal with things?
tl;dr: My university lecturer gave me and my in-class partner an assignment that could possibly be in questionable taste given the roleplay she asked us to do.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:52

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

naptalan posted:

No, this is a good derail. Let's talk more about appropriate professional attire.

I [19M] and issues with my business-systems lecturer [46F]; it affects me and my in-class partner [20F].

Hahaha what the hell. I hate to call fake but no professor/lecturer could be this stupid right?

# ? Jan 3, 2017 02:55

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I don't know a poo poo-ton about the BDSM industry, but surely for business meetings, they just wear standard business clothes, right? It isn't 100% CRAZY SEX PARTY in those offices, let alone presenting to outside investors/clients?

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:03

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Me 30F with my soon to be SIL [34F] of 5 years, refusing to come to my wedding if it's not a vegan reception. My soon-to-be in-laws [60sM/F] are on her side.

quote:

I forgot to add "and is threatening to cause a scene" to the title, but that would've made it long and turned it into title gore.

I am a month away from my wedding to my soon-to-be husband. We've been together 5 years.

My SIL is one of those vegan stereotypes. I grew up in a very insulated community that leans towards vegan/vegetarian (that SIL is not a part of,) and have always ensured that she has had uncontaminated, tasty vegan options because I knew how much it sucked not having those when I adhered.

Since my wedding will be including some people from the religious community I grew up in, I have two vegan options on the menu as well as several vegan/veg-friendly h'orderves that will be marked.

This is apparently not good enough for my SIL. When we personally gave her the invitation, she actually started yelling at us for daring to have meat at our reception when so many of "her kind" are present.

SIL doesn't understand the community I grew up in, and the fact they have similar dietary choices doesn't make them "her kind." They are very live and let live people and they don't avoid leather/animal byproducts, and a lot of them also consume everything but certain fish and pork!

I attempted to explain it to her, but she absolutely didn't want to hear it, stating I was being offensive to her and "everyone present." She is my in-law's spoiled child and she is used to getting her way on everything.

Not this time. I refused to cave, as did my husband... so now SIL is badgering my in-laws. She has been hounding them relentlessly about even attending, despite they fact they aren't vegan either.

They even got to the point of attempting to bribe me by offering to pay for the wedding, assuming we had done it under great financial strain.

The rub is: I am an event planner by profession. I have planned and paid for this wedding in cash, no debt. I did it off-season on a tightly calculated budget, no one but my fiance has contributed. I am having an expensive dream wedding on a shoestring budget because I used up favors and tapped connections as well as turning it into a business thing. This literally isn't just my wedding, it's going to be documented for multiple websites, cement business connections, and will be examples in portfolios for jobs. My fiance and I agreed that I can use this as a business opportunity, so he is on board with all of this (and it has saved us a great deal of money.)

So, when offering to pay didn't work because I told them it was all paid for, they have said if I don't change the menu, they will not come as well... and my sister-in-law is threatening to make a scene. Everyone I am working with is prepared for this, and we have hired security and have shown them pictures of my SIL.

We have attempted to explain to my in-laws that this is also a business move, they told me that "changing my menu wouldn't hurt." When I attempted to explain to them that the chef of the catering company hand picked these dishes to show off his skills, they told me to just "talk to him, he will understand." I eventually quit trying to explain and just started using "no" as a complete sentence.

My SO and I are tired of my SIL doing these sort of antics, and he is to the point where he wants to cut her off, but he hesitates because he thinks he will have to cut his parents off of, too. This isn't the first time she has pulled something like this, such as when she announced her engagement at my engagement party, or when she called my mother a "savage" at my birthday party because my mother is Native American and teaches old school cooking and leatherworking (using hide to tan, using all the parts of an animal, etc.)

Is there anything we can say to get through to my STB in-law's that between this not just being our wedding but also a business thing and my STB sister-in-law's antics that we aren't going to tolerate any funny business? How can we tell them that we are almost done with my soon-to-be sister in law?

She has been personally uninvited by my fiance at this point, but it seems to have just fanned the flames.

tl;dr: Tired of sister-in-law's antics and she is threatening to make a scene at my wedding/business event. We are worried this will damage my fiance's relationship with his parents because we will not hesitate to use hired security. Is there anything we can do to soften the impact of all of this? How do we tell them that we can't tolerate their defense of her actions anymore?

"If I can't get my way, then none of you can enjoy your drat wedding or life ever!!!!" :toot:

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:05

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Troposphere posted:

when I went to London there were coin operated bathrooms and it was the worst

Was that in the railway station? Because that is a thing there (yes, it sucks) but only there, not in restaurants that I've ever seen and definitely not in houses.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:36

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Me 30F with my soon to be SIL [34F] of 5 years, refusing to come to my wedding if it's not a vegan reception. My soon-to-be in-laws [60sM/F] are on her side.

"If I can't get my way, then none of you can enjoy your drat wedding or life ever!!!!"

P sure this lady was within her rights to never speak to this person again after they literally called her (native American) mother a "savage". Lol what the gently caress

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:42

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Me 30F with my soon to be SIL [34F] of 5 years, refusing to come to my wedding if it's not a vegan reception. My soon-to-be in-laws [60sM/F] are on her side.

"If I can't get my way, then none of you can enjoy your drat wedding or life ever!!!!"

Wtf at the savage comment, holy poo poo that's gross. Being indigenous I've heard some pretty offensive stuff but everyone knows savage is way over the line. I wonder what religion?

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:43

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Dial-a-Dog posted:

P sure this lady was within her rights to never speak to this person again after they literally called her (native American) mother a "savage". Lol what the gently caress

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Wtf at the savage comment, holy poo poo that's gross. Being indigenous I've heard some pretty offensive stuff but everyone knows savage is way over the line. I wonder what religion?

Is it shocking that an ultra privileged white rabid vegan is also a disgusting racist? I'm 99% sure OP is Jewish too.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Jan 3, 2017

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:45

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Is it shocking that an ultra privileged white rabid vegan is also a disgusting racist? I'm 99% sure OP is Jewish too.

Isn't Hinduism one of the vegetarian religions as well? Trust me racism against the nish knows no colour, in my experience. You wouldn't believe some of the things people say to me without knowing my background because I'm fair. Though I guess you could say the same for any ethnicity.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 03:53

SpiderHyphenMan: Apr 1, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Me 30F with my soon to be SIL [34F] of 5 years, refusing to come to my wedding if it's not a vegan reception. My soon-to-be in-laws [60sM/F] are on her side.

"If I can't get my way, then none of you can enjoy your drat wedding or life ever!!!!"

I want this wedding to end up on the news.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 04:27

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Antivehicular posted:

I don't know a poo poo-ton about the BDSM industry, but surely for business meetings, they just wear standard business clothes, right? It isn't 100% CRAZY SEX PARTY in those offices, let alone presenting to outside investors/clients?

Like most industries about "fun"/"sexy" products it's probably just as boring as any other office. Like, how often at Frisbee Co. do you think the office workers are actually playing Frisbee or wearing ultimate sports Frisbee clothes?

# ? Jan 3, 2017 04:28

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Pick posted:

Like most industries about "fun"/"sexy" products it's probably just as boring as any other office. Like, how often at Frisbee Co. do you think the office workers are actually playing Frisbee or wearing ultimate sports Frisbee clothes?

I bet there is a guy who wears the ultimate sports Frisbee clothes there. Like one guy who just does it and hams it up.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 04:31

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Antivehicular posted:

I don't know a poo poo-ton about the BDSM industry, but surely for business meetings, they just wear standard business clothes, right? It isn't 100% CRAZY SEX PARTY in those offices, let alone presenting to outside investors/clients?

It's like the Simpsons joke about MAD Magazine's offices from that one episode they don't show as much after 9/11.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 05:17

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

woof

Me [30 M/F] with my wife [32 M/F] of 6 years, I'm not attracted to her at all

quote:

Been together 8 years, married 6. My wife is wonderful, beautiful, smart, and is a doting wife. Sure we all have our flaws, but overall she's one of those people you would consider a catch. People love her, she's generous, no one has anything bad to say about her, she has no enemies.

That love extends to my family. My parents treat her like she's their own daughter, she's a favorite aunt, she gets along with my sisters. All of this only makes me feel worse and more guilty. I'm not attracted to her sexually, AT ALL. In fact, she repulses me. I feel like poo poo.

She has a good body (not super fit, but she's not overweight), she has a beautiful face and stunning features, a killer smile...but it does nothing for me.

When she tries to initiate sex, I'm immensely turned off. I don't want to touch her. I don't want to kiss her, it's even an effort to hold her hand.

We've been going to therapy for this as of course my wife is extremely hurt and just trying to be patient with me in case this is a phase. But I know she can't go on much longer and I don't blame her. She deserves someone who's crazy about her.

I used to be crazy about her. I couldn't keep my hands off her. Our sex life was really good.

This is why I feel so guilty and crazy. It just fizzled out. I have nothing concrete to complain about. She's trying so hard with working out more, buying lingerie, taking care of herself. But I look at her and I just feel...nothing. She might as well be my sister. To make things worse, I AM attracted to other women and want to have sex. I masturbate fantasizing to other women. I don't want to cheat on her.

If there was a magic wand, I would love to be attracted to my wife again. Divorce would upset so many things and sex is the only sore point in an otherwise great marriage. We get along so well. She makes me laugh, we like the same things, she's my best friend. I'm really hoping there are some other long term relationship people here who have gone through something similar. Have you ever completely lost attraction for the person you were with but still powered through it? Did it come back? Is it lost forever? Is this why people open up their marriages?
I feel like a piece of poo poo because she's such a good person, but I'm also incredibly unhappy.

What I wouldn't give to just feel SOMETHING for her. Really hoping to find someone who understands where I'm coming from. Thanks.

tl;dr: Not one ounce of me is attracted to my wife, but she's a wonderful person. I feel horrible. Hoping someone can relate.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 05:30

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Also just gonna post this headline because lol teenagers

Me [16M] with my GF [17F] duration 3 months, she is poly and I'm having difficulty coming to terms with it

# ? Jan 3, 2017 05:33

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

zakharov posted:

Also just gonna post this headline because lol teenagers

Me [16M] with my GF [17F] duration 3 months, she is poly and I'm having difficulty coming to terms with it

# ? Jan 3, 2017 05:42

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Christ, don't teens have enough to deal with without having to add poly poo poo in the mix?

# ? Jan 3, 2017 05:43

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

feedmegin posted:

Was that in the railway station? Because that is a thing there (yes, it sucks) but only there, not in restaurants that I've ever seen and definitely not in houses.

The "dollar coin-operated toilet" story is fake as hell, sadly.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 05:46

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

zakharov posted:

woof

Me [30 M/F] with my wife [32 M/F] of 6 years, I'm not attracted to her at all

I glanced at that one and had to agree with the comments about how this is basically a nightmare scenario. Either side, really -- both the concept of your partner losing their attraction/love for you for absolutely no reason, and the concept of being that partner and feeling like a hellacious rear end in a top hat because something in your brain just stopped firing.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 06:13

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

naptalan posted:

No, this is a good derail. Let's talk more about appropriate professional attire.

I [19M] and issues with my business-systems lecturer [46F]; it affects me and my in-class partner [20F].

D'awwww. It sounds like their teacher is trying to hook them up. :3:

Either that or their teacher is testing them to see if they'll make good subs. Regardless, love is in the air :corrupt:

# ? Jan 3, 2017 06:34

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:04

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

My [23 F] less attractive sister [21F] is insecure and delusional?

quote:

Alright I am 5'10, done modelling and all our relatives are always going on about my beauty. Personally I grew out of wanting to be "pretty" at 16 and although it is nice to hear now and then, I have a lot more to offer this world. My younger sister is the typical "plain jane".. normal height and normal look. I didn't see my family for a few years but I have come back to see she has still not grown out of the wanting to be "pretty" phase! Also she wants so badly to be the "pretty sister", it is sad. I have told her she is beautiful and lovely but she has a huge chip on her shoulder because I used to call her "horse face" in our teen years. Actually in our teen years I would often call her ugly (jokingly) but she took it to heart and I rememeber one day she said "I am prettier than YOU!" with her face red. We must have been about 13 and 15 that time so I just thought it was a funny sister fight but unfortunately she has not grown up.. She is constantly trying to prove to me that people find her attractive. I didn't see it until now. I remember she showed me a text message of some creep hitting on her saying "Hi beautiful" or something.. I just gave her advice on dealing with creeps but her intention behind it was very clearly to show me someone finds her beautiful (very sad and immature I know). Then the next time, she had her friend over and her friend told me "You are so exotic looking" in casual conversation and said I almost look ethnically ambigious. My poor delusional sister who was completely part of the conversation, lacking self awareness goes "Oh you must be talking about me looking ETHNICALLY AMBIGIOUS!" I said really? You look completely white... (I have tan skin and dark hair). Even the friend clarified "I meant your sister" to her. She then went on about how she had walked into a shop and they had asked her ethnicity and were shocked she was just white. Now if you saw her, you would understand why that story sounds like a total lie. Me and her friend exchanged a weird glance and my sister hung her head in shame. I feel bad for her because she lacks self awareness. Of course she should feel she is beautiful but how can I get her to stop competing with me over it and just grow up?? There is so much more to life! Also she is at the phase where she thinks she knows it all but seems to know nada!
tl;dr: Sister is still stuck in teenage mentality of wanting to be "pretty"!

Jeez shut up horseface why are you so sensitive you ugly bitch lol get over it uggopants lol just kidding i'm your sister. sisterjokes.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 07:31

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