quote:

So my girl and I have been dating for 6 months. Things are good. I'm a little pedantic sometimes. It's who I am. She's knows this. I know this. It bugs her but thems the breaks. She's not perfect and I love her anyway.
So we are sometimes silly during sex. Our sex talk can be silly and funny. She wanted me to touch her down there. So she says "Rub the pearl in my clam." and she giggled. I told her oysters have pearls. Not clams.
She just was done at that point. No more sex, no more funny. She got dressed and went home. She said it put her out of the mood. She said she'd call me in a couple days.
WTF should I call her? Let her cool off? Is it over?
tl;dr: I corrected her for incorrectly calling an oyster a clam during sex while she was trying to be sexy/funny during sex. She says she's sick of me correcting her. I can't help it.

a reply on reddit posted:

1. clams can in fact make pearls (as can all bivalve mollusks)
   
2. I'd have walked out too
   
3. I hope she finds someone who doesn't put "well, actually" above a relationship

OP posted:

I think I can for sure apologize since I seem to be technically wrong. I guess I need to do some reading about clams and mollusks.
Thank you for the correction. I appreciate it.

Principals Orifice posted:

he's wrong and alone

realbez posted:

Anony Mouse posted:

Haha how has no one posted this one yet.

Me [26 M] with my Girlfriend [27 F] of 6 months. I corrected her during sex and she's really upset.

quote:

I told her oysters have pearls. Not clams.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Wtf at the savage comment, holy poo poo that's gross. Being indigenous I've heard some pretty offensive stuff but everyone knows savage is way over the line. I wonder what religion?

feedmegin posted:

Was that in the railway station? Because that is a thing there (yes, it sucks) but only there, not in restaurants that I've ever seen and definitely not in houses.

PleasingFungus posted:

The "dollar coin-operated toilet" story is fake as hell, sadly.

The Lobotomy Kid posted:

I've let you all down.

quote:

She's not perfect and I love her anyway.

NomChompsky posted:

My [23 F] less attractive sister [21F] is insecure and delusional?


Jeez shut up horseface why are you so sensitive you ugly bitch lol get over it uggopants lol just kidding i'm your sister. sisterjokes.

Anony Mouse posted:

Haha how has no one posted this one yet.

Me [26 M] with my Girlfriend [27 F] of 6 months. I corrected her during sex and she's really upset.


Alright which of you goons is this, just come clean. We have to congratulate you for reaching peak autism.

Edit: haha omg

Demon Of The Fall posted:

That guy not attracted to his wife needs to go see a doctor and maybe get some testosterone or something. His hormones sound all messed up, which is probably causing him to feel like this.

quote:

So for xmas my husband wanted archery lessons. I'm not big on weapons for obvious reasons but he's a little out of shape and he works hard so I figured it would be good for him.

His lessons actually started in November and for a while all was well. Then last week he sprung it on me that he's made freinds with one of the owners of the store and they are going hunting. I told him that I would divorce him if he was serious because we are not the hunting type of people. Our friends and neighbors would be mortified, we'd be cast out of our social circle and hunting is utterly ridiculous anyway because he don't live in Shitsville and have these things called "grocery stores" in our city (to include Whole Foods, Sprouts and Trader Joes so we can get variety). He put up a very weak argument that I wanted none of and just walked out of the room. I thought this was over and done with until I've noticed he's still taking the lessons (I'd demanded he stop) and now he's listening to podcasts from Joe Rogan about hunting.

I don't know if I'm serious if I'd divorce him so it seems he's called my bluff, but I am serious that if our social circle found out he was out shooting innocent animals with arrows, we would be cast aside like lepers. My friends mean the world to me and we even stretched our budget to the extreme to buy a house in a redone university area so I could walk and drink wine with them on a near daily basis. I'm terrified of losing that.

How do I get him to stop this utter stupidly and insanity?

tl;dr: My husband wants to start hunting, and I'm against it for many reasons but mostly because it would cost us so much in terms of our morality, social standing, etc... How do I get him to get past this phase?

quote:

We live in a very normal, medium sized university town. Hunting is not for people who we socialize with. I don't know why that's hard to understand

quote:

Yes, organic farming is ethical. Hunting is some yahoo with a death fetish imposing his will on the earth.

quote:

My freinds include a doula, a mental health counselor, several professors. They don't hunt.

lazorexplosion posted:

The only thing better than stopping in the middle of sex because you had to correct someone about the technicalities of molluscs is making your apology for the situation an admission that you were the one who was technically incorrect about molluscs. Great story.

Leon Einstein posted:

That lady sounds like a caricature designed to rile up men.

chitoryu12 posted:

Does she think wild animals just live peaceful, simple lives of merriment before a painless death of old age? Chances are being stuck through the heart by a bow or having their brains blown out by a .300 Win Mag is going to be a much less painful demise than being torn apart and eaten by predators, being hit by a truck, or slowly going deer-insane and dying of CWD.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I can see an argument that her husband doesn't know what he's doing and shooting a deer with an arrow will probably just cause it to bleed out which would be painful for the animal, but she doesn't seem to give a poo poo about that because she's too preoccupied with her social standing and her doula

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It's okay if the animal is murdered by someone else.

Principals Orifice posted:

he's clearly on the spectrum

frakeaing HAMSTER DANCE posted:

Are we allowed to post e/n here because holy poo poo

quote:

Hey e/n. I am currently in what I believe to be a somewhat abusive friendship and I need to get out of it. But first, some backstory.

I'm a 25-year-old male and I've never been very good at dating. The longest relationship I had ever been in lasted all of 3 months back in 2013. One time I had met a really great girl through a dating site and I thought she was really great and then she broke things off with me. This led to me getting pretty depressed and I ended up talking to and then subsequently hooking up with a friend of a friend, Liv. Liv is someone with a whole menagerie of problems and I didn't really like her very much, but she didn't mind having me around which was comforting.

Anyways, Liv and I hook up repeatedly throughout the next year or so. During this she develops feelings towards me while I continue to not like her very much and instead use her as a stress reliever. I know this is lovely of me but we agreed upon being friends with benefits when we first started hooking up so I figured it was fine. While Liv and I are hooking up at one point her best friend/roommate/means of transportation has a total meltdown and starts treating Liv horribly, trying to force her to move out of the house. I help Liv move out on her own but she's someone who doesn't have a car or anything and she also doesn't have any other friends as she moved here to be with her former friend from out of state, so it's up to me to drive Liv everywhere she needs to go.

Then in February of last year, I met another girl, Elli, who seemed really great, although she lives an hour away so it's a bit of a drive. We went on our first date and really hit it off. She then agreed to date me and she's honestly the best thing to ever happen to me. We've been together since. However, at the time we started dating, Liv was particularly stressed, as her work was very hectic at the time and she has just recently started living by herself for the first time and was still uneasy about that. I tried to hide Elli from her so to not add on any additional stress but she ended up finding out regardless, and that's when things got really bad. At this point Liv started making veiled threats about suicide, and at one point it got particularly scary so I called the police on her. She was taken to a medical facility where, as far as I can tell, they didn't do poo poo. From what Liv has told me they tried to talk to her and she just told them that she's fine and wanted to go home, and that was somehow good enough for them despite having someone report her for trying to commit suicide.

After this Liv started being extremely demanding with me. If I go see Elli I have to come back by this specific time so I can hang out with Liv some that day. I can't bring Elli to hang out with my friends as Liv couldn't stand to be near Elli, and thus we'd be hanging out with my friends without her, which in Liv's mind is replacing her. Some times she says she doesn't want me seeing Elli at all some weekends because Liv's stress is too bad and she doesn't want to be alone. I can't go out and do things with Elli that I did with Liv before as that would make her sad. Things like that to try to control what I can and cannot do with my relationship. Normally I would tell her to gently caress off as if I want to do something with Elli I will do it, but whenever I would fight with her about stuff, her argument would always devolve into 'you don't care about what I want, which means you don't care about me, so we should stop being friends', which normally would be fine but remember: I do everything for Liv. I drive her to her job, I take her to get groceries, I do everything for her. Without me she is completely hosed as she doesn't have a car nor the money to get one. After not being able to pay the medical bills that stemmed from me calling the police on her she also doesn't think her credit is good enough for an auto loan. So instead I continue arguing with Liv over this, fighting to get what I do get with Elli. I have probably had an argument with her multiple times a week every week since March.

Eventually we get into a rhythm. I fight to be able to hang out with Elli on weeknights over Skype from 11-1:30, then before and after that time I hang out with Liv when I'm not sleeping or at work. Then on weekends Liv wants to hang out with me on Saturday and I hang out with Elli all day on Sunday. It's not ideal but at least I'm not constantly bickering with Liv about it. Things go smoothly for a while, but then Elli gets more concerned about Liv and how much control she's exerting over our relationship as time goes on. That's when I told Elli everything about my history with Liv and this immediately makes Elli extremely uncomfortable. The fact that I'm hanging around someone whom I used to have sex with as much as I am while Elli isn't around makes her very uneasy. I tried to reassure her that I have absolutely no interest in Liv but Elli has some anxieties of her own that are already at work.

As Elli is now aware of who Liv is and she's my girlfriend, I then feel more comfortable to vent to her about Liv whenever I get particularly frustrated about Liv. However, knowing more details about Liv just makes her angrier and angrier towards Liv. She tells me that I should stop talking to Liv, which is probably a good idea, but I'm too concerned with Liv's well being to actually do it. Sometimes if I hung out with Elli past the time that Liv wanted me home by, she would call me over and over until I would respond. This, of course, just bothers Elli more. Elli is convinced that Liv is still in love with me and hates the fact that I'm dating Elli and she thinks that Liv wants to just try to ruin our relationship in whatever way she can, whether it be bothering us while we're hanging out or setting these stupid rules for us hanging out. Elli wants Liv gone but understands why I don't just get rid of her outright.

Then at New Years Eve the other day some friends hosted a party and invited Elli. Elli just finally met my friends in August, 6 months after we started dating, because Liv would complain and cry any time I tried to bring Elli to any function. I hung out with Elli the entire night and Liv was there too hanging out with some other people. However apparently Elli and I were being too affectionate and it made Liv really uncomfortable. She's complained to me many times over the last few months that if I hang out with Elli near her we cannot show any affection but at the time we had been drinking and I didn't really care that much what Liv thought. Liv, who at the time was borrowing my car so she could go home independently of me, then tried to leave early and walks out to the car, when one of my friends asks where she went and points out it's a very bad idea for her to be driving as she had been drinking a lot that night so they quickly went out to stop her and get her a ride home.

This makes Elli furious. Last month after the first snowfall, Liv was borrowing my car again so I was driving Elli's car around town when I spun out of control and got into an accident. We were fine, but Elli's car was totaled. From that, Elli got really angry at Liv, blaming her for this as if I had my car we would have been fine, as I know my car better and also my car is much newer than Elli's. Then hearing that Liv almost drove my car after drinking was too much. Elli told me that she has had enough of Liv and cannot deal with it anymore. She doesn't want to keep hearing about how Liv tries to control me and what I do. She doesn't want Liv interfering with our relationship anymore. She wants Liv out or else she is done.

So anyways, that leads to where I'm at now. Elli is livid and wants Liv out of our lives. She's even threatening to break up with me over this. I should note that Elli and I, apart from all the bullshit surrounding Liv, have been very happy together and have even made plans to move in together in a few months. We're planning on moving away to another state together where we have a much better chance of getting jobs in our degrees. If Elli leaves me that's gone, and also I like Elli so much more than I like Liv. I have never particularly liked Liv, I just keep her around out of obligation at this point. However, a little over a week ago Liv and I were arguing about something and Liv got particularly upset and threatened suicide again for the first time since March, and then has used that in a few more arguments we've had since then. The day after the party she told me that she actually attempted suicide, although not telling me how exactly she attempted it.

So now here I am and I feel stuck. I love Elli and I don't want to lose her, and she's absolutely right: Liv has been really terrible to us and I need to get rid of her so that we can continue on with our lives like regular people. However, Liv is actively treatening and now apparently attempting suicide. I don't want someone's death being on my head. I usually like to avoid asking for any sort of help as I figured this is my burden to bear as I did this to myself, but tonight I told all of my friends about the situation and asked if they could make sure Liv is okay without me. They've agreed to help. The last thing I need to do now is actually break it to Liv. I need help on how though.


tl;dr: I'm in a maybe abusive relationship with a weirdly controlling, manipulative, depressed person, but they've started to threaten suicide lately. I need out of the relationship, how can I break it to her that we can't talk anymore as gently as possible so to not push them further towards suicide.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

You could have a totally reasonable version of that thread about like, keeping guns in the house, but nope, it's literally just "what will our friends think???".

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Like, I've never been hunting, but I can only imagine that the average hunter is more conscientious of the pain and suffering of animals than the average non-hunting meat-eater. You're forced to witness it after all.

You could have a totally reasonable version of that thread about like, keeping guns in the house, but nope, it's literally just "what will our friends think???".