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ArbitraryC posted:Please show this to your teenager and start calling them a city bitch. Done. Soysaucebeast posted:I have bluegrass Gangnam Style if that helps. The Weird Covers thread has a whole bunch too. It does help! also this is exactly the kind of thread I’d probably like to read but never would have thought to search out on my own. Thanks! Philonius posted:Money, ho's, and pickup trucks. That accurately describes life in exceptionally rural northern NY if you ignore the money bit. Admiral Ray posted:play them distilled country music like "We Rode in Trucks" Also done. Boy, I’m so glad I said something about this. e: Adar posted:my woke-dom demands... It took me way longer than it should have to parse this. I was trying to figure out what having a woke dominant would have to do with any of the other things you said in a way that made sense. I guess I read this thread and/or the forums too much, but I already sort of knew that. burial fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Aug 19, 2018 |
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Aug 19, 2018 01:03
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GCU Quelle surprise and extra row of teeth, if you don’t mind my asking, do you get a shitload of unsolicited ‘advice’ on what to do for the fibro pain? ‘I have fibromya-‘  Have you tried yoga?! You should go vegan!etc. For years I’ve struggled with insomnia so bad I’ve bulldozed through just about every rx sleep med on the market with little/no effect. If people hear about it, I’m given unsolicited advice like: ‘Try sleepy time tea!’ ‘You should take melatonin!’ Those suggestions got old by the third time I heard them. And if I tell them ‘tried it, didn’t do a drat thing’, it’s inevitably ‘Well it worked for me!’
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Aug 19, 2018 02:41
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I have an unholy knee-jerk hatred of country music thanks to my dad, but the earlier stuff into the 90s was pretty ok. I mean, I'll still enjoy an occasional Garth Brooks song or some Dolly Parton and hell yes to my man Johnny Cash if I'm in the mood. But country music is my last ditch go to if I'm gonna listen to something. I live in the South. I have actually picked my place of employment because they wouldn't force me to listen to goddamn country music all day long. If you want to imagine my life, just imagine a bunch of chubby white girls in scrubs gettin' loose af at 1am putting a IV cath into a dog while listening to rap music and swearing at the dumb poo poo receptionist for the 14th time today.
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Aug 19, 2018 02:48
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Pvt.Scott posted:I’ve always loved that answer. It’s hating the music of poor people but being colorblind about it! If anyone asks, I just say I like Drake. I used to dislike country until my nieces began having country music danceparties, now I love it!
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Aug 19, 2018 03:32
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LadyPictureShow posted:GCU Quelle surprise and extra row of teeth, if you don’t mind my asking, do you get a shitload of unsolicited ‘advice’ on what to do for the fibro pain? Not them, but... yes. Oh, God, yes. I practice the "smile, nod and say 'I'll have to look into that.'" technique. No, I don't think cutting gluten is going to cure my fibromyalgia. Pretty sure essential oils won't do much, but thanks!
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Aug 19, 2018 03:37
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Mostly for the title: My [26M] brother [24M] will literarily use violence if I try to sell the guinea pigs he bought 3 months ago that he cast aside and doesn't even see them mods, rename me "literary violence" quote:I take care of them daily like they're my own children, I do it because the first few weeks they lived next to a mop in the basement and sometimes didn't eat or drink for days. Then stop taking care of his pets and let them die! You are manufacturing a problem from taking over a responsibility you were never asked to! Jesus!
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Aug 19, 2018 03:43
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With that many neglected oets I think its time to talk with your vet and put your brother down
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Aug 19, 2018 03:47
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Bonster posted:Not them, but... yes. Oh, God, yes. I wish more people were comfortable with just going 'I'm sorry that you have to deal with that'.
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Aug 19, 2018 03:48
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That's kind of why I say what I do. They feel like they've contributed and I can let it roll off.
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Aug 19, 2018 04:05
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I typically go with “I’m sure you’ve tried all the usual stuff/you must get tired of having people suggest [insert applicable obvious thing].” That way they get a chance to either let it drop or bitch about something else.
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Aug 19, 2018 04:15
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Bonster posted:That's kind of why I say what I do. They feel like they've contributed and I can let it roll off. Follow up curiosity question for all of ya: What’s the most bonkers unsolicited suggestion you’ve gotten? I’m guessing essential oils. Someone once told my cousin she needed to get rid of her cat and her fibro pain would vanish because pet dander was causing it.
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Aug 19, 2018 04:33
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:I think fibro is a catch all for structural damage and swelling from different low grade immune system problems. My joint pain is cut in half by montelukast on its own. I call that my Montel Williams pill and accidentally did so to my doctor :I Also the sponge on a stick is fuckin' godly for cleaning because there are many grades of scrubber you can get for it and I love it so much.
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Aug 19, 2018 04:37
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My (21/f) mother cut contact with me after I moved away for a job; my father suffered a heart attack, and now my mother refuses to let me see him/says it’s my faultquote:This is my first reddit post, so I’ll try to keep it short and to the point. quote:I ended up cutting my trip to CA with my mom’s sister short. I bought a ticket to visit my father across the country and no one was happy with this decision. My aunt essentially disowned me, told me I was selfish, and was a “fcking btch”. 
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Aug 19, 2018 05:44
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I recommend she start a series of events that culminates with the phrase "Who's homeless now?"
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Aug 19, 2018 06:06
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My Imaginary GF posted:If anyone asks, I just say I like Drake. HAHAHAHA oh man this is awesome. Hey man, what kind of music are you into these days? "oh you know. Drake, like...? The rapper? He's cool with the, you know, the kids these days right? Love that guy, and oh um, his music? Yeah I only like Drake, I dunno, it's not weird at all that I answered your question with a single specific artist right? Is it hot in here? It feels REALLY hot" *sweats profusely* Taima fucked around with this message at 06:15 on Aug 19, 2018 |
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Aug 19, 2018 06:08
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What’s wrong with just inventing band names? “Me? Oh, I’m really into Panda-pult Remediation, these days. Anything like that, really. Crones in the Doorway just came out with a new one too. You?” e: I just like maybe making up stupid band names, I guess. Next time I’m going with “The Severed Polycules.” burial fucked around with this message at 07:37 on Aug 19, 2018 |
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Aug 19, 2018 07:34
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Taima posted:HAHAHAHA oh man this is awesome. "No, not that Drake, the other Drake. "No, the other other Drake."
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Aug 19, 2018 07:59
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Haifisch posted:Today on buried ledes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BApemrpz2CY
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Aug 19, 2018 09:58
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Absurd Alhazred posted:
Uh...No?
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Aug 19, 2018 10:27
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Some people basically buy pets as house ornaments and will go through dozens without blinking.
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Aug 19, 2018 10:38
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Sedisp posted:Uh...No? While we're still having music chat, the poor woman anxious about having no clear taste reminded me of my tensest experience with being asked about music taste. I was 18, still quite teenage-nerd-weird but trying to outgrow it, and getting friendly with my super down-to-earth mechanic colleague in a social thing I had to do for a year (to escape the then-mandatory draft). He invited me to do a few things with his friends who were all also worker-types, very nice on average but I stuck out super hard with my general nerdiness and the whole "about to go to university" thing. There's a lot of stories with cultural/"class" clash there. But when I first met them, hoo boy. My colleague took me and two of his buddies for a trip somewhere in his self-tuned car, and I was sitting wedged in-between the two strangers, one of which was about 2 meter tall, about as wide in the shoulders, shaved bald and with "Blood" and "Honor" tattooed on his jacked-rear end arms. You know, honest, normal working-class Germans. He assured me later it was not a nazi thing, but "heritage". Anyway, then he suddenly drops the question. "So, what do you like? Hip-hop or Techno?" I think I took the longest three seconds of my life to decide which answer was less likely to end my life. At the time, I hated both about equally, but I went with the truth, that being the super dorky "I like melodic stuff, and Techno does some interesting things with the melodies". Turns out they're all super SUPER into Techno, raves, hardcore poo poo and I was now their best friend. Holy poo poo though.
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Aug 19, 2018 11:45
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Simply Simon posted:Why not, it's the obvious solution? They're living beings that don't deserve to starve becase of a poo poo head sibling.
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Aug 19, 2018 11:48
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I think young people subconsciously use that question to try and gauge class and social standing in the same way that adults ask ‘so, what do you do?’
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Aug 19, 2018 11:55
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Sedisp posted:They're living beings that don't deserve to starve becase of a poo poo head sibling. 02-6611-0142-1 posted:I think young people subconsciously use that question to try and gauge class and social standing in the same way that adults ask ‘so, what do you do?’ I also think the biggest lesson I learned at that very moment was that saying the actual truth of "actually, I despise both about equally!!!" would have triggered the trap somewhat fiercely.
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Aug 19, 2018 11:58
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02-6611-0142-1 posted:I think young people subconsciously use that question to try and gauge class and social standing in the same way that adults ask ‘so, what do you do?’ I hate when people ask you where you are from or a question like that, and you answer it, and then they don’t tell you what they do or where they are from or whatever. It’s like, do I actually need to ask the same question back to you for you to offer up a response or have a conversation? No, it’s just a one way interview and the other shithead has nothing to talk about but they want to engage you with a list of rhetorical questions. What’s funny is just to outright lie to people when they do that poo poo. You can see the anger boil up inside them when they already know the answer to the question they just asked before they asked it. I told some shithead at burning man that i was from papua New Guinea and he said my accent seems really midwestern and I told him I took a neutral accent course like they do for newscasting. He didn’t tell me where he was from without me asking him back which is like, are we in kindergarten here where everyone has to repeat the same thing when we go around the circle to introduce ourselves? Anyways people always got a whole lot of questions and not a lot of poo poo about themselves to say, probably mostly because most people are too stupid to think up complex contingency schemes on the spot.
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Aug 19, 2018 12:04
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"Try not to unnecessarily bring about the death of your pets" is simple life advice that should not need to be elaborated on.
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Aug 19, 2018 12:10
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Wait a minute...haven't we seen this guy before?? I got hosed up on crystal meth and was in a fast food bathroom by the sink half-naked when someone walked in. The person ran out and called security, who kicked me out. Could the police have been called? Could I have gotten charged? quote:State is California. City is Los Angeles. The Mad Methsturbater strikes again!!
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Aug 19, 2018 13:14
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quote:Could the police have been called? Could I have gotten arrested? Were you masturbating outside the safety of your own domicile?
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Aug 19, 2018 13:18
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Pvt.Scott posted:I’ve always loved that answer. It’s hating the music of poor people but being colorblind about it! congrats on being woke but country has been pop synths in cowboy hats since garth brooks
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Aug 19, 2018 14:11
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burial posted:What’s wrong with just inventing band names? I know this is a comedy forum and all but if anyone did this in IRL it’d be super obnoxious and I’d end that conversation immediately.
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Aug 19, 2018 14:20
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Business Gorillas posted:congrats on being woke but country has been pop synths in cowboy hats since garth brooks ?????? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc1gdoCWozU
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Aug 19, 2018 14:25
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Business Gorillas posted:congrats on being woke but country has been pop synths in cowboy hats since garth brooks I think it's one of those cases where people get turned off a genre mostly because their exposure to it is from terrible people with terrible taste playing particularly bad to mediocre examples of it extremely loudly on lovely stereos in public.
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Aug 19, 2018 14:27
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I think it's one of those cases where people get turned off a genre mostly because their exposure to it is from terrible people with terrible taste playing particularly bad to mediocre examples of it extremely loudly on lovely stereos in public. My wife played a lot of sand volleyball when we lived in St. Louis like 5 years ago, we went to this tournament at a suburban cowboy bar and this song came on the stereo from the perspective of a dude who took a breakup badly and was stalking his ex and her new boyfriend. It included examples like parking his truck on her front lawn, shining his high beams in her window, etc. I probably shouldn’t have been shocked that it was very popular and the crowd sang along. Literally my only experience with modern pop country as an adult.
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Aug 19, 2018 15:02
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If the brother doesn't take care of the pets at all, why not just give them away and not tell him. Not like he's gonna miss them.
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Aug 19, 2018 15:59
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My son [32] told me [63] and my wife [61] that he's planning on proposing to his boyfriend and my wife won't have any of it.quote:My oldest son came out to us when he was 21 years old, in 2007. Personally I never saw what the big deal was- my parents were Creaster Episcopalians so I have no strong religious opposition to it, and I knew for years that there was something he was holding back and that he was somehow unhappy, and afterwards he seemed so much looser and freer- he seemed at peace with himself for the first time in years. quote:What truly bewilders me is the fact that we've never tried to force our beliefs on each other. Every year on election day we joke about how we're cancelling out each other's votes. She's never had a problem with me getting a Big Mac on the way home from work on a Friday in Lent. She's never bugged me to go to Mass because she knows I converted in order to marry her. Now she's insisting that I not go to my own son's wedding and I insist that I shall.
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Aug 19, 2018 17:05
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Haifisch posted:My son [32] told me [63] and my wife [61] that he's planning on proposing to his boyfriend and my wife won't have any of it. Time your divorce to complete itself the day before his wedding.
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Aug 19, 2018 17:09
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His first clue should have been when she thought the Pope was a filthy liberal.
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Aug 19, 2018 17:11
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Haifisch posted:My son [32] told me [63] and my wife [61] that he's planning on proposing to his boyfriend and my wife won't have any of it. Wife sucks rear end and will die forgotten by her children quote:It's even more jarring when you consider what happened when I told my own mother, rest her soul. The woman was born in 1927, and when I told her the only reaction I got was that she resumed her normal grandmotherly henpecking with the pronouns swapped (eg, "does he have a boyfriend yet," "are he and his boyfriend thinking about getting married?" "are they thinking about adopting? You know your sister and her husband gave your father and I five grandkids from foster care after her hysterectomy")  Granny loving owns
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Aug 19, 2018 17:12
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Danaru posted:Wife sucks rear end and will die forgotten by her children OP posted:To be fair [Granny]'s what I would call a convert to the sexual revolution. She was already a mother of six when she read The Feminine Mystique and in many ways was more of a "flower mother" than a flower child. My father once had to bail her out of jail when I was fourteen and she was arrested protesting the Vietnam War, and she made signs to demonstrate in favor of Roe v Wade (a fact I never shared with my wife). I swear if she were closer to my age she would have hitched a ride to Woodstock and joined a commune in the late '60s and early '70s.
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Aug 19, 2018 17:14
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dying alone and unloved to own the liberal pope John XXIII
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Aug 19, 2018 17:32
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