/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

ArbitraryC posted:

My dad died when I was quite young and my mom made like zilch, I was a smart student that fortunately got recognized for my academic capability but even then my scholarships leaned harder into need based aid rather than performance. When I was younger I was proud of getting a free ride but as I grew up I realized that the opportunities I had weren't entirely or even mostly due to my merit, my family just could check boxes that other students didn't have access to. It's a huge problem that opportunities for students are limited by their parents income regardless of their willingness to support, and I can say that comfortably as someone who did grow up measurably disadvantaged. Don't hate the rich so much you spite their kids.

why did you mad-libs some freeper's anti affirmative action rant

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Sep 24, 2018

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:27

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# ? May 29, 2024 05:43

wedgie deliverer: Oct 2, 2010

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

why did you mad-libs some guy's anti affirmative action gripe

We're getting political but I read it more that means testing is bullshit everyone should get the same support

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:29

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

ArbitraryC posted:

She was drugged right

It certainly read that way to me. gently caress.

Bored posted:

No. She writes Amish romances in Chuck Tingle's style.

Raised in the butt by a barn?

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:34

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

agreed, we must also dissolve affirmative action immediately.

I dunno how you got that from my post. I literally got awards for being the top of the class in my major and their financial value was minuscule compared to what I got for being in a poor family. In college I met plenty of students that didn't have the same opportunities I had simply because their parents passed certain income thresholds, not particularly high ones at that, and that puts quality students with lovely parents in a real bad spot in terms of how they can finance their education. I absolutely support more funding so everyone can go to school I just think the system where aid is based almost entirely on hypothetical support from parents is bad because it creates a bunch of hostage situations.

My older brother ended up with debt simply because he was the first to go off to school and they were still factoring in my mom's income from SS payments she got as a widow. My FAFSA avoided that income because by then we were both over 18. It's a bad system.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:36

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

bell jar posted:

Texans don't know this

Everybody should buy a Stetson

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:42

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

if you think you're so smart and special that all the evidence that family income factors enormously into childrens' access to education didn't apply to you, and you profited unfairly from money that should've gone to some underloved Rockefeller child instead, the right and honorable thing to do would be to tear up your diploma and take up a class-appropriate job at Walmart as though you never had that Big Government handout to get your degree, not try to gently caress with other poor kids' probably only chance to escape a life of poverty from your position of comfort because after all, they didn't earn that chance

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:43

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I really don't get what you're on about because I do absolutely support need based aid as I utilized it myself, I was commenting on the situation (which we've seen several times itt and I saw plenty of times among my peers) where someone doesn't qualify for that sort of aid because their parents (who either won't support them or will only do so if they get to control every aspect of their lives) are directly considered when it comes to aid.

I think there should be taxes in general to fund education, I am grateful for the opportunities I had, I don't think that it's okay someone is essentially denied these opportunities because their parents are middle class and won't support them unless they agree to a ridiculous list of demands.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:50

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Me [34F] with my BF [34M] 1.5 years, he prefers sleeping on the bare floor

quote:

TL;DR My boyfriend prefers to sleep on the bare floor and despite committing to getting a new mattress for months, he hasn't actually done so

Hi Reddit

First off, thank you for taking the time to listen.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 1.5 years. We work together and we are neighbours, so we spend a lot of time together. For the most part we have a very happy relationship and love each other very much. I think he is a great person and has very many amazing qualities - I feel very grateful to have him in my life.

My boyfriend is very tall and has experienced mild back pain for the last year or so. He lives in a one bedroom condo and for the past 10 years he has slept on the same queen-sized mattress. His mattress has been aggravating his back pain. When he sleeps at my place, he's noticed that my mattress has also caused him discomfort. Starting in May 2018, he moved his mattress from the bedroom to his living room and he began sleeping on the floor, on a bed sheet. This has caused a lot of issues in our relationship as he does not enjoy sleeping on my bed, and I do NOT enjoy sleeping on the floor. The floor hurts my back and it ruins our intimacy. Maybe I'm weird but I do not want to have sex on the floor.

I was upset that he made the decision to go from mattress to floor without considering how it could hurt our relationship. At first, I just put up with it, hoping that he would buy a new mattress on his own. However by the time July rolled around, I grew more and more frustrated that, not only was he not making any moves to buy a new mattress, it seemed like he was really enjoying sleeping on the floor. He says it helps his back a lot. My fears are that he is going to get used to sleeping on the floor and never want to go back to a mattress. I would like to eventually start a life together and move in - but I can't fathom sleeping on the floor for a prolonged period of time. It has already ruined our intimacy and we spend less nights together during the week because I do not want to sleep on the floor.

I voiced my frustrations to him in July. I told him that he should try to buy a new mattress that is more firm for his back. I asked him to try a few out and if they really didn't work then I could understand why he resorted to sleeping on the floor. But, its upsetting me to that he hasn't even attempted to try out new mattresses before resorting to (in my mind) the very LAST suitable option (i.e. the floor). I told him that many mattress companies offer 100 day trial periods and easy returns. I offered to pitch in for half the cost, and that if he found a mattress he really liked, I would go and buy the exact same mattress for my apartment (despite the fact that I had just purchased a new mattress a year ago). Note that money is not the issue - he does not care about the money and neither do I.

In July ge agreed that my request was reasonable and that he would buy a new mattress. His only condition was that, prior to buying a new mattress, he wanted to sell his current 10 year old used mattress. I expressed to him concerns over this idea, as I'm really skeptical that any one would want to buy a 10 year old used mattress. On the other hand, it is in very good condition and there are no stains, so I supported the idea that he wanted to first try and sell it.

Well it's been a month of him posting his used mattress for sale online, and there's been minimal bites. The interest he is getting has been lukewarm and no one wants to commit to come pick it up from his apartment (which is his stipulation). Also, he posted the mattress for $400..... so understandably, there hasn't been much interest. The cost of a brand new mattress is practically the same cost he is asking for his used mattress.

I have been growing more and more frustrated. The lack of intimacy is really upsetting me and I don't want to spend a life with someone that I can't share a bed with. I do not feel like he's making a valiant effort to get a new bed, seeing as its been two months since we've had the initial conversation and nothing tangible has happened. At what point is enough, enough?

This morning I voiced my frustrations, albeit in a rude manner. I told him he wasn't considering my needs, since he seems perfectly happy having me sleep on the floor with him, instead of just finding a bed that could be suitable for the both of us. He thinks i'm not being patient enough or understanding. He thinks the act of posting his used mattress for sale a month ago is indication that he will buy a new bed and that I should just drop the issue. I just don't see how hard it can possibly be to buy a new mattress - I don't see how it should take over 2 months.

After I voiced my frustrations this morning in a rude manner, he kicked me out of his apartment. I tried calling him to explain how its upsetting its been to deal with this issue for months but he doesn't want to hear it. He hung up on me multiple times and now refuses to talk to me. He says he feels hurt because I keep on repeating my request for a new mattress and that I should just accept that he's going to get it done at his own pace (he will not commit to a timeline of when a new bed will be purchased).

Sorry reddit for the wall of text. Any insight is appreciated. Am I being unreasonable? Is wanting to sleep on the floor normal?

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:03

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Lmao burn the ducking rich

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:11

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

You have found a small injustice that inconveniences some affluent people and see a moral imperative to replace it with a tremendous injustice that only ruins the lives of poor people.

Life doesn't begin at the SATs, it's not a perfect system as evidenced by you qualifying but need-based scholarships are de facto achievement-based in America because to even get to the point where you're applying for them the children of lowest-quintile earners have to be more accomplished and driven than the average child of a top-quintile earner. They go to worse schools, they have worse access to afterschool programs and college prep tutoring, their parents and social circle are less likely to be educated themselves or have the time to take a role in their education, and yet they overcome, at dramatically lower rates than the offspring of the upper crust who virtually can't fail just by right of birth. And then some doofus declares they haven't earned it and they need to jump through a bunch of hoops making even greater demand of all the things I just mentioned so we can make sure they're not getting an education that belongs to the child of privilege who wants to chase their art school dreams instead of becoming an engineer.

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Sep 24, 2018

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:15

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Or you could just make higher education free for everyone, like it used to be in much of the developed world.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:20

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

I don't think anyone's talking about bottom vs. top quintile, we're talking about bottom quintile vs. the next one up or possibly the middle one. These aren't rich kids, they're kids whose parents are school cafeteria workers or Walmart assistant managers, kids who live in homes that are underwater and about to be repossessed. But their parents do on paper make some money, and are expected to contribute it, even if it's already all gone to medical bills or the mortgage.

We're also talking about -- and in my experience this is a big one too -- middle-class kids whose parents refuse to help them. Kids whose parents won't support their choice of major or their choice of school, or queer kids whose parents have disowned them period. Obviously the parents can do that if they want, but the problem is that's not taken into account by the FAFSA, and that really fucks up those kids.

I don't think anyone wants to help the poorest kids less. But the kids one step up from complete poverty could use a little more help too, or even just to have their circumstances reflected accurately.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:29

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Or you could just make higher education free for everyone, like it used to be in much of the developed world.

We made primary and secondary education free for everyone without doing anything to specifically address or counterbalance class disparity, how'd that pan out?

Note that as a probable product of the public school system attempting to discuss a part of history that isn't Squanto teaching the Pilgrims about maize, the Space Shuttle, or MLK having a really weird dream one night I don't actually expect you to answer this.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:32

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

You have found a small injustice that inconveniences some affluent people and see a moral imperative to replace it with a tremendous injustice that only ruins the lives of poor people.

Life doesn't begin at the SATs, it's not a perfect system as evidenced by you qualifying but need-based scholarships are de facto achievement-based in America because to even get to the point where you're applying for them the children of lowest-quintile earners have to be more accomplished and driven than the average child of a top-quintile earner. They go to worse schools, they have worse access to afterschool programs and college prep tutoring, their parents and social circle are less likely to be educated themselves or have the time to take a role in their education, and yet they overcome, at dramatically lower rates than the offspring of the upper crust who virtually can't fail just by right of birth. And then some doofus declares they haven't earned it and they need to jump through a bunch of hoops making even greater demand of all the things I just mentioned so we can make sure they're not getting an education that belongs to the child of privilege who wants to chase their art school dreams instead of becoming an engineer.

Except I support education being free in general? I was commenting on a lovely aspect of our current system while admitting that i had the fortune of taking advantage of it, I wasn't saying that we should kick out the ladder for people like me I was saying everyone should have the same opportunities I did regardless of whether their parents are wealthy but refuse to support their gay child or such.

I mentioned my performance specifically because I was statistically a top student but even that wasn't enough to fund my education, my scholarships were still primarily based on need. It was meant to highlight that students with unsupportative parents who passed a certain income threshold were absolutely hosed unless they were the best of the bests. Getting top of my class resulted in a 1k/year scholarship where they just took away that 1k from my need based grants that were an order of magnitude larger. It's a drop in the bucket.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:38

Mocking Bird: Aug 17, 2011

You can petition to be an independent student for FAFSA purposes if you have no contact and no support from your family and can prove that you are self supporting

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:39

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Glad I came here to read about FAFSA, post more train wrecks you goons ENTERTAIN ME

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:44

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Mocking Bird posted:

You can petition to be an independent student for FAFSA purposes if you have no contact and no support from your family and can prove that you are self supporting

Afaik you have to be an emancipated minor, so either already married or in the military, or having gone through a court process. If you're in foster care it's automatic (I'm guessing that's what you see most of), but if you have to prove it in court it's a big process. I looked into it a lot as a kid because my parents would 100% disown me if they knew I was bi.

That's also for zero contact or support, so if you still live with your parents (no matter how lovely the circumstances) but they refuse to fill out the FAFSA or refuse to pay anything, you're hosed regardless.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:56

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

We made primary and secondary education free for everyone without doing anything to specifically address or counterbalance class disparity, how'd that pan out?

Note that as a probable product of the public school system attempting to discuss a part of history that isn't Squanto teaching the Pilgrims about maize, the Space Shuttle, or MLK having a really weird dream one night I don't actually expect you to answer this.

I'm not American. And the problem is that you put it in the hands of people who hate the idea of public education being free or good or adequately paid and actively work to undermine and underfund it in order to promote alternatives more favourable to maintaining a stark class and race divide.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 06:59

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

My [22 F] boyfriend [25 M] is uncomfortable with my relationship with my roommate [23 M].
u/sagel124

quote:

Some background to make this easier to understand. I have two roommates, Mark and Nick. We have been living together for almost 3 months. I just started dating my boyfriend, Sam, a little over a month ago.

Nick has been one of my best friends for over 10 years. We grew up together and went to the same grade/high school. He is currently going to grad school at the same university where I am finishing my undergrad degree. There has never been even a hint of anything romantic between us - besides the fact that we are just not attracted to each other, he has been dating my best friend for almost 6 years now.

Mark is also a grad student at our university. I did not know him before we moved in together but Nick and him have been friends for a little over a year.

I have known Sam for about a year and we've been friends for 6 months, but we just started dating a month ago. I actually met Sam through Nick, as they are in the same grad program.

Sam and Nick are pretty good friends so the three of us hang out together a lot, but it's usually on campus or at Sam's house. Two nights ago, Sam came over to our house for the first time and the three of us plus Mark all hung out for a couple hours. It seems like things were going very well and everyone was having a great time. Mark went to bed first, and after he left, Sam made a slightly weird comment about how he didn't realize my other roommate was "so charming" and asked if he should feel threatened. I was pretty thrown off and both Nick and I just laughed it off because I don't think either of us really knew what to say.

Not long after, Nick went to bed and it was just Sam and me. Sam brought up Mark again, and asked why I hadn't really talked about him before. I have definitely mentioned him in passing but haven't talked about him extensively, mostly because we're not super close and don't spend a ton of time together, so I don't really have much to say about him? I told Sam this and asked why he was being weird, and he basically said that it seemed like Mark has a crush on me and he felt like I was flirting with him.

I was really surprised by this, as Mark and I honestly don't talk all that much. We take the same bus to school in the mornings, so we walk together every morning, but other than that, we generally don't spend time alone together at all. I asked Sam why he thought we were flirting, and he said that Mark and I kept "stealing glances" at each other and that when we talked he could feel the tension. Again, this seems really weird to me as I've never had any inkling that Mark is attracted to me. Sam also said that he noticed Mark was really touchy with me when we were in the kitchen getting dinner ready, but honestly, our kitchen is very small and not made for two people, so I feel like there's no way to avoid touching the other person.

Sam then asked me if anything had ever happened between Mark and me that might've created this sexual tension. I told him the truth - about a week after we moved in, Mark, Nick, and me all went to some bars downtown and ended up getting really drunk. Mark and I walked back home while Nick stayed downtown with some other friends. On the way home, Mark drunkenly kissed me and I kissed back. We made out for a few minutes and that was it. Nothing else happened. We talked about it the next day, both agreed that it was weird and shouldn't have happened, laughed and moved on. (This was well before Sam and I were even close to official - we hadn't even really been on a date at the time.)

I told Sam this, and he kind of freaked out. He was upset that I hadn't told him that I had a history with my roommate and said he felt stupid sitting there while Mark and I shared this intimate secret that he had no knowledge of. I told him I thought he was overreacting. We kissed once when we were both drunk and thats it. I didn't purposely withhold this from Sam, it honestly didn't even cross my mind because it was so not a big deal. Sam asked me how I would feel if I found out he'd kissed his female roommate, and honestly, I wouldn't care at all. It's a non-issue to me. I apologized to Sam for making him uncomfortable and explained that it wasn't intentional, but this didn't affect our relationship in any way and there was nothing between Mark and me. He was still pretty upset and told me multiple times that he feels threatened by Mark because he knows he's attracted to me and he thinks I flirt with him.

I honestly feel kind of offended by this whole thing but I can't tell if I'm in the wrong. I do not intentionally flirt with Mark at all and I truly think there is no tension between us. I also didn't think it was a big enough deal that I should've told Sam about the kiss that occurred three months ago. I'm concerned with the way Sam reacted; I feel like its a red flag that he exhibited such jealous behavior over something so small (in my mind). But I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong? Maybe this is a big deal and I screwed up royally by not disclosing this ahead of time?

TLDR: new boyfriend thinks my roommate and I attracted to each other, finds out I drunkenly kissed said roommate ~3 months ago, freaks out and accuses me of trying to hide it from him. Am I being unreasonable or is he?

�I mean, yeah, we made out but that doesn�t mean either one of us is at all attracted to the other.�

e: I don�t think that impossible, for the record, and the boyfriend is probably being pretty unattractively insecure. I just also wouldn�t be surprised if there was some sort of tension there that the dude is picking up on. (Mark probably does like her.)

burial fucked around with this message at 13:52 on Sep 24, 2018

# ? Sep 24, 2018 07:12

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Short bonus.

Me [30 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] 1 year, I caught the bouquet at this cousins wedding, he did not catch the garter. What should i have done?
u/ChopCityzZ

quote:

We were at my boyfriends cousins wedding, with half of him family in attendance. I caught the bouquet and sat down, but he was not able to catch the garter.

Next thing i know, the DJ puts a chair in the middle of the dance floor, and puts on the song Pony by Ginuwine..

So the question is, what do you do?

TL;DR; I caught the bouquet but my boyfriend was not able to catch the garter. Afterwards, he flipped out on me because i allowed a stranger to slide the garter half-way up my thigh in front of his family.

Hell, I�m just going to post the link (paste it, don�t click it! I guess?) because the comments need to be read. Turns out this was posted by the boyfriend and he admits to having screamed at her in front of everyone. Before I discovered that though I was still floored. I�ve never heard of this tradition. I always thought the husband takes the garter off and then it gets thrown and that�s that. And even then I�ve never seen it happen in real life.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/9ieey7/me_30_f_with_my_boyfriend_31_m_1_year_i_caught/

burial fucked around with this message at 07:39 on Sep 24, 2018

# ? Sep 24, 2018 07:25

forbidden dialectics: Jul 26, 2005

I wish this was a joke but :reddit:

# ? Sep 24, 2018 07:34

Hellsau: Jan 14, 2010; NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

forbidden dialectics posted:

I wish this was a joke but

There's probably plenty of womanchildren on that sub.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 08:26

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

forbidden dialectics posted:

I wish this was a joke but

They consider "dick" to be gendered language

I genuinely feel that if someone is offended by the word dick they shouldn't be living in public society.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 08:28

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Whorelord posted:

They consider "dick" to be gendered language

I genuinely feel that if someone is offended by the word dick they shouldn't be living in public society.

THUS SPAKE THE LORD OF WHORES.

(but yeah, I agree. That�s stupid.)

# ? Sep 24, 2018 08:32

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

burial posted:

THUS SPAKE THE LORD OF WHORES.

(but yeah, I agree. That�s stupid.)

i only pretend to be woke to pretend that I have the moral high ground

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:09

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

burial posted:

My [22 F] boyfriend [25 M] is uncomfortable with my relationship with my roommate [23 M].
u/sagel124

�I mean, yeah, we made out but that doesn�t mean either one of us is at all attracted to the other.�

e: I don�t think that impossible, for the record, and the boyfriend is probably being pretty unattractively insecure. I just also wouldn�t be surprised if there was some sort of tension there that the dude is picking up on. (Mark probably does like her.)

Yeah, nah.

She's not actually asking for advice on her relationship, she wants to know if Mark is into her.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:15

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

Turtlicious posted:

You earned it it's cute.

Duck you, I'm deadly allergic to cats and loving hate kittens

Except for the ones my nieces have

They're farm cats tho and will probably die this winter. Life is harsh when you live outside with heavy machinery in use around ya. Worse is that you can't tell the girls they went to live on a farm like my dad told us a week after my alcoholic uncle drove over drunk as a skunk and dropped off a kitten for us

LadyPictureShow posted:

Me [34F] with my BF [34M] 1.5 years, he prefers sleeping on the bare floor

Go make him sleep outside, in a tent if ya have it. See how much he likes the floor then

If he fully embraces the idea, maybe build a cabin in the woods and get a pet eagle

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:16

AfricanBootyShine: Jan 9, 2006; Snake wins.

Anne Whateley posted:

I don't think anyone's talking about bottom vs. top quintile, we're talking about bottom quintile vs. the next one up or possibly the middle one. These aren't rich kids, they're kids whose parents are school cafeteria workers or Walmart assistant managers, kids who live in homes that are underwater and about to be repossessed. But their parents do on paper make some money, and are expected to contribute it, even if it's already all gone to medical bills or the mortgage.

If you're in either of those quintiles there's massive amounts of need based aid at well-funded universities. Most Ivy Leagues are now tuition-free if your family makes less than 60k a year, and will throw generous amounts of grants at you even if you're above that threshold. Even 'second-tier' schools (like University of Chicago and Washington University) provide pretty significant need-based grants.

Merit-based scholarships are so rare that it's more realistic to get into an Ivy League than it is to qualify for one that will actually make a dent in your tuition fees.

AfricanBootyShine fucked around with this message at 09:30 on Sep 24, 2018

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:27

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

burial posted:

It certainly read that way to me. gently caress.

Raised in the butt by a barn?

I see you're familiar with Pick's, aka Charlotte Tingle's, work.

There's also Marrying My Butt So That I Can Be Pounded in My Butt By My Butt, as Sanctioned by Our Lord God

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:34

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

My Imaginary GF posted:

Duck you, I'm deadly allergic to cats and loving hate kittens

What the hell is wrong with you. They're babies.

What's with people in general HATING cats when they're allergic to them?

I'm allergic to dogs, and have had horrible experience with them my whole life due to lovely owners, and just generally don't like them. I still find baby puppies to be the most adorable things

Edit: Oh hell yeah thank you for the av mystery cat warrior

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:45

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Miserable Maid posted:

What the hell is wrong with you. They're babies.

What's with people in general HATING cats when they're allergic to them?

I'm allergic to dogs, and have had horrible experience with them my whole life due to lovely owners, and just generally don't like them. I still find baby puppies to be the most adorable things

Edit: Oh hell yeah thank you for the av mystery cat warrior

You can't already tell from the faux-ksy affectations?

Former partner [31M] blackmailing me [21F] to marry him.

quote:

Last summer, I had a 1 month relationship with a man I met online, �Jack�. I really liked him but he was much older than me, and he pressured me into doing things I wasn�t comfortable with. He filmed us having sex 3 times and also took naked pictures of me. He also took me to a park in the middle of the day and filmed us having sex there, nobody saw us but it made me feel lovely. However i did all these things because I thought it would make him like me. He was also a massive liar and a player.

Anyways besides that Jack was a cool guy and I liked hanging out with him and talking to him. We had some good times but one day he told me he was moving away to Thailand and that was the last I heard of him. Which was weird but whatever. I was hung up over him for the longest time

3 weeks ago I got a random message from Jack telling me that he was home and that he wanted to see me again and that he really missed me. I missed him as well so against my better judgment I went to have lunch with him. We went to his place to watch a movie and ended up having sex.

Later Jack texted me asking if I wanted to hang out again and I said no, I don�t want to do the casual sex thing and that I want an actual relationship. Then he was like fine I just want to see you a last time. So we had dinner at his place and as I was about to leave (I had refused his advances) he told me that he still kept our videos we made and was planning to upload them onto his porn account. He said it was a good way to earn money and he�d give me a share of the revenue if I wanted.

I said no thanks and Jack said that he was going to do it anyways and now I wouldn�t get anything. So I�m like don�t do that, and he says he�ll consider it if we continue to see each other. We ended up having sex again that night and the morning after, which he filmed.

I�ve lived the last few weeks in a state of misery. I�ve tried bribing Jack with money so he won�t upload the videos but he says he just wants to have sex with me in exchange for his discretion. He says I have to go see him whenever he wants and is pressuring me to break up with my current partner [23M] of 2 months (we aren�t official yet).

It�s been 3 weeks and Jack has been upping the ante. He has filmed us several more times and wants me to move into his apartment. I agreed reluctantly, then he said that he wanted me to marry him. I asked why, that he didn�t seem like the marriage type at all. He said he just wanted to get his parents off his back about being 31 and single, and says he wants to give them a grandchild to make them happy. He also said he wanted to �try out� being married and settled down, and that he�d just bail if it wasn�t for him.

I thought he was joking at first so I ignored him. Then he brought it up again and even presented a ring to me yesterday. He was like �you don�t exactly have a choice�. He said we could have a longer engagement and have a cute wedding and I can wear a nice dress or whatever, then we can �play house� for a while, have 1 or 2 kids, and if he doesnt like it he�ll just divorce me and move on.

I told him he was loving crazy and that no way was I going to let him ruin my life on a whim. He was like �fine guess I�ll upload our videos and send them to everyone you know instead�. I begged him not to and again offered him money, which he refused.

I feel very trapped. It all sounds crazy but he is exactly the type of person to try and do this. He literally just doesn�t care about anything or anyone except his own amusement and satisfaction. He treats people (especially women) as experiences and sources of entertainment. He�s a sex/porn addict by his own admission.

I�m really loving scared. I�m sorry if this all sounds jumbled up but I�m trapped right now. I can�t reach out to my family or friends for help because it�s all so shameful.

What are my options?

TL;DR: Former partner blackmailing me into sex/marriage. What can I do.

Go to the loving police yesterday. :stonk:

# ? Sep 24, 2018 09:54

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Miserable Maid posted:

What the hell is wrong with you. They're babies.

What's with people in general HATING cats when they're allergic to them?

I'm allergic to dogs, and have had horrible experience with them my whole life due to lovely owners, and just generally don't like them. I still find baby puppies to be the most adorable things

Edit: Oh hell yeah thank you for the av mystery cat warrior

There's a fair amount of things wrong with MIGF. I won't recommend going through his rap sheet, but you might note that it's three pages long.

As I understand it, dogs and humans have a pretty intuitive understanding of each other's body language, because dogs were very deliberately bred and domesticated to interact with humans. People with allergies try to avoid cats, but a lot of the human signals for "please don't come near me" read as approachable and friendly to cats, which is where the old meme that cats can smell if you're allergic and home in on you to bother you comes from. Conversely, if you try to approach a cat as you would a dog, it's likely to think you're acting threateningly and will probably scurry away from you.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 10:35

Switchback: Jul 23, 2001

ArbitraryC posted:

nah she sounds like she's trying to just chip away at him. I am literally in a long term relationship with someone born and raised in a different country and I never really "correct' her on any English unless she explicit asks which is usually only if I was genuinely confused on what she was trying to say (rare, occasionally comes up with unintuitive vowels) or when she wants my help with editing papers and such. That's with someone who speaks english as a second language rather than simple dialect differences between British and American english. There's like no way she or anyone around him is having trouble parsing what he's saying. She's just doing it to make him feel more like an outsider and more reliant on her.

Maybe it�s a British thing. My husband is British (I�m American) and he does this to me all the time. I would never do that to him, but whatever. I say disorientated and aluminium now, I don�t care but he REALLY DOES.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 11:56

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Switchback posted:

Maybe it�s a British thing. My husband is British (I�m American) and he does this to me all the time. I would never do that to him, but whatever. I say disorientated and aluminium now, I don�t care but he REALLY DOES.

I'm British and it's an arsehole thing, not a British thing.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 11:58

ishikabibble: Jan 21, 2012

Theophany posted:

I'm British and it's an arsehole thing, not a British thing.

You repeated yourself though? :confused:

# ? Sep 24, 2018 12:12

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

It's a disapproval thing disguised as a playful thing. With a sprinkling of British exceptionalism. The compulsive need to correct him even after being asked to stop basically reveals it as something that bothers her and would prefer to change. But not necessarily a conscious, malicious thing. More like an automatic response.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 12:19

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

You have found a small injustice that inconveniences some affluent people and see a moral imperative to replace it with a tremendous injustice that only ruins the lives of poor people.

Ah yes, the tremendous injustice of free public education

# ? Sep 24, 2018 12:22

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

ishikabibble posted:

You repeated yourself though?

# ? Sep 24, 2018 12:24

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I find that people from the UK make a lot of wide sweeping vague generalizations without really touching on nuance.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 12:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 05:43

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKFKEamyIEE

# ? Sep 24, 2018 12:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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