/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

loquacius posted:

I missed that line and didn't even know OP and husband were different races, so yes she is probably racist but their marriage doesn't seem to be worth saving regardless

I'm just loving with you, I almost missed it too.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 15:31

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 02:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Serial cheaters are a race not to get caught

# ? Oct 5, 2018 15:32

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

She should've known his mother would be overbearing when she decided to go out with a drow in the first place

# ? Oct 5, 2018 16:42

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Rakosi posted:

How is anyone single when there are women that put up with that.

incels literally losing to chad incontinent guy with stinking underwear rotting in the corner.

1. society treats "smart" people (i.e. people who act like "smart" people in media) with weird kid gloves, like they can't expected to be nice or wash

2. women are told to value smarts because dumb guys are big mean oafs (reality: little if any correlation)

3. incel types come across as legitimately dangerous, like if he gets mad he will actually kill you, which , joking aside, is worse than mystery toilet

# ? Oct 5, 2018 16:54

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Weman will let you basically turn her guest room into a Palatial Stink Fortress if you have a hot mean waiting for her when she gets off work & tongue box her clit into exhaustion 2-3x weekly

fuckin ask her how her day went it's not hard. be kind to post grads y'all they're too rareified for the world at large.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 16:59

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Pick posted:

3. incel types come across as legitimately dangerous, like if he gets mad he will actually kill you, which , joking aside, is worse than mystery toilet

I mean they talk a good game of beheading women and the like, but unless you stumble into their precise mother's basement you're pretty safe because they can't go outside without being suicidal sad sacks.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:09

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Theophany posted:

I mean they talk a good game of beheading women and the like, but unless you stumble into their precise mother's basement you're pretty safe because they can't go outside without being suicidal sad sacks.

no I mean if you were considering dating incel dude or mystery toilet dude, you're like "welp the toilet guy just seems like he sucks, but not deadly"

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:14

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Pick posted:

no I mean if you were considering dating incel dude or mystery toilet dude, you're like "welp the toilet guy just seems like he sucks, but not deadly"

Dying of an infection from diaper man's diaper mountain or incel inside's misogynistic rage

choices, choices

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:19

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

A couple of years back a friend was dumped by her boyfriend, the way she told me, these were his reasons for breaking up with her:

-She washed her hands too much;
-She always wanted to have a shower before going to bed, and took too long to bathe;
-He felt she was wasting her time and water by washing vegetables before preparing food;

I had the decency not to laugh at her face when she told it to me, but even she admited a couple of days later that she was glad it was over. Anyways, there are a lot of gross people in the world.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:22

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Pick posted:

1. society treats "smart" people (i.e. people who act like "smart" people in media) with weird kid gloves, like they can't expected to be nice or wash

Did she mention anything about the gross guy's intelligence? I really don't think society as a whole gives a pass to gross fuckers that don't wash. Seems to be sad sack women exclusively.

I don't get how these women can let these guys gently caress them with dirty cheese dicks.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:26

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Admiral Ray posted:

Dying of an infection from diaper man's diaper mountain or incel inside's misogynistic rage

choices, choices

the right one, of course, being "neither"

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:31

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

"I don't like myself enough to be alone."

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:35

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Women get A LOT of "don't be a shallow bitch so focused on the exterior, everyone has flaws, you need to stop waiting for Prince Charming" messaging. That's why the ones we're talking about not only don't object, you can see they also think they're bad people for even wanting to object.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:38

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Anne Whateley posted:

Women get A LOT of "don't be a shallow bitch so focused on the exterior, everyone has flaws, you need to stop waiting for Prince Charming" messaging. That's why the ones we're talking about not only don't object, you can see they also think they're bad people for even wanting to object.

Last time I said this someone posted the "lower your standards" comic that had its hair recolored to look like me and I'm still baffled, to this day, that people think my hair is short when it was obviously just pulled back

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

stop waiting for prince charming and just accept the birth of your first child, the No-Touch Toilet and its litter of surrounding cat doots

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:42

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

wak posted:

I've [f/26] had it with my boyfriend [m/31] of three years' horrible housekeeping and lack of cleanliness!

The comments brought up a subreddit called �neckbeardnests� mostly people posting roommates/siblings/tenants� filthy living conditions. Holy poo poo :gonk:

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:46

Bag of Hamsters: Jul 12, 2006; Gimme yer frickin pancreas

I needs it for reasons.

Anne Whateley posted:

Women get A LOT of "don't be a shallow bitch so focused on the exterior, everyone has flaws, you need to stop waiting for Prince Charming" messaging. That's why the ones we're talking about not only don't object, you can see they also think they're bad people for even wanting to object.

Let's not forget the "it's your job to fix him and teach him to be better!" bullshit we're fed. That if he doesn't learn to scrape the crust off his foreskin on occasion that we're to blame because we didn't mother him properly.

Sometimes my dog eats too much grass and I have to pull a few strands from her butthole but she at least licks herself clean afterwards.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Bag of Hamsters posted:

Let's not forget the "it's your job to fix him and teach him to be better!" bullshit we're fed. That if he doesn't learn to scrape the crust off his foreskin on occasion that we're to blame because we didn't mother him properly.

Sometimes my dog eats too much grass and I have to pull a few strands from her butthole but she at least licks herself clean afterwards.

A lot of these guys are described as openly hostile to learning, though.

I remember being in college and someone was complaining my sneakers smelled bad after running club and they were like "you scrub between your toes, right?" and I was like woops no, it didn't occur to me, I thought they sorta... cleaned... themselves? in the shower, and then I was like doh lol, thanks for letting me know. And then the problem was fixed :shrug:

# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:53

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My [22F] former professor [39M] and mentor has shown signs of predatory behavior and harassed students. Is it bad that I still want to help him?

quote:

I�m changing a few of the details from what happened in real life. This is a very weird and sensitive issue, and I need some perspective, but I don�t want anyone knowing who this is yet. We�ll call the professor Grey, because this whole situation is very much a grey area to me. I graduated in May.

So my old college was very small, and while my degree program had a lot of problems because of the size (favoritism, drama, etc), I received an amazing education from a few professors. Out of all of my professors, the most influential and amazing teacher was Grey. He was understanding, compassionate, and honestly just amazing at teaching. He made all of his students feel heard and never really seemed to pick favorites. Freshman year I absolutely idolized him.

But I�d heard rumors freshman year that he tended to sleep with former students. Essentially, he�d pick a few students that were still in undergrad to TA his lower level classes. He�d get really close to these students and start treating them like friends and colleagues more than students, and while I don�t think it happened very often (maybe 1-2 times), I believe that he slept with one of his students right after they graduated.

Now, I didn�t really care because if they�d already graduated and we�re adults, I didn�t see a huge issue. Title 9 has investigated him once of twice and they�ve never concluded anything. But recently, I�ve gotten a lot closer to the issue.

Grey started going through a really rough time. His life partner (who he has an open relationship with) has been battling cancer for a long time, and he�s been worried that she�s about to die. He missed a lot of class my last semester and clearly was going through a really bad time. My friend Grace was his TA and said that he had been drinking a lot and would not show up because he�d stay up late drinking and get hangovers. He would also miss class because he was depressed and upset.

Grace was frustrated because he put a lot more work on her than he usually would put on an undergrad TA, but it was our last semester and we gave him a pass because his partner was dying. His classes were honestly still better than almost all of my other ones, and I learned a lot and got to skip class (he taught a 9 AM so I loved getting to sleep in occasionally). So I really didn�t mind.

Grey was always very professional and kind to me. I did an extracurricular lab with him my last semester, and we�d occasionally talk and joke about non-school stuff or he�d mention how rough his life was, but it was a great experience.

One of the girls in the lab, my friend Layla, didn�t have a great experience apparently. About 2 weeks ago, she made a weird comment on Facebook about him being inappropriate but it was very vague and didn�t give any details. I commented back about how I�d had nothing but great experiences and that if something happened, I�d listen but being vague on social media was a little irresponsible.

Well Grey saw the messages. He messaged me at like 1 AM thanking me for defending him. He said that I was really smart and a great student and that he had no idea why Layla was saying these things. Layla was one of his TAs and he thought he said he didn�t know what had happened. He said that he admitted he was an alcoholic who didn�t always show up to class, but that he would never harass students. He kept messaging me, and it was pretty much harmless. It was late and he was definitely drunk, but I wasn�t a student anymore and while he made one flirty comment, he stopped after I casually mentioned my boyfriend.

He also said that he�d been messaging Layla trying to get her to tell him what he did. He said that if he did anything wrong, he�d rather face it head on and apologize, even if it meant losing his job. He told me that if Layla told me her story, I should listen to it objectively and be there for her because he never intended to hurt her. I believed him fully, and still think he thought he was telling the truth.

But then the next day Layla told me what happened. She had TA�d his class our junior year. He took two of his TA�s to this conference to network, and had invited all three of them. At the end of the conference, there was a huge event in the hotel lobby with free drinks and all of Grey�s buddies and colleagues got drunk there. Layla and the other TA were 20 but snuck some drinks and Grey turned his head the other way. Not really unusual in our college, professors know college kids drink.

But then Grey walked up to Layla, put his arm around her and said, �I can�t do anything now because you�re my student, but after you graduate I want to gently caress you.�

Layla didn�t know what to say. Even though she was a TA for his lower level classes, she was still his student in the higher level ones. She had thought of Grey as a friend and mentor, but now she didn�t know what to think. His advance made her extremely uncomfortable, but she brushed it off. He didn�t make any other advances until last semester.

One day, Layla showed up to our lab early. Grey walked in, put his bag down by his station, then sat right next to her. She said he smelled like alcohol. Then he said, �Hey, we should all get into some trouble tonight. What are you doing?�

She responded, �I have this lab tonight. Can�t really get into trouble.�

He said, �We�ll get out early. Maybe everyone in the lab can go out and do something. You guys need to let loose.� I actually vaguely remember this, because he then told our whole lab something about us all going out and we joked a laughed about it. We all ended up just going home.

Later that night, around midnight he messaged Layla and asked her if she was getting into trouble. She texted him back with a firm, �Goodnight Grey.�

Then an hour later he responded, �Sorry if I was ever inappropriate with you.�

The next day he apologized to her again, and she accepted his apology because what else could she do? She was in his lab, was she supposed to confront him?

So then I felt betrayed. The rumors I�d heard all through college about him being a little sleazy came to light. I felt like Grey lied when he said he had no idea what happened. I felt disgusted by how Grey always been a feminist and advocate for women going through sexual harassment. But then I thought, �Does he just not know?�

So I wrote a letter. I wrote Grey all of the stuff that Layla told me and how I thought he was a good man who didn�t understand that his position of professor meant that he had power over the young women in our department. There�s a huge difference between someone who�s about to graduate and someone who�s already graduated because he has a significant amount of power over current students. I truly believe that Grey would never hold it against a student if she rejected his advances (and Layla admits he never seemed angry and treated her the same when she shut him down), but he needs to stop making these advances. I had Layla read the letter and she asked me to change a few things, but overall approved it. We live in the same city now very far away from Grey and are really close right now.

I wonder if he remembers what he said to Layla or if he was too drunk. I went back to my college town to visit my boyfriend and was going to give him the letter, but I got a bad feeling and didn�t really want to anymore.

I�m glad I didn�t send it though. Grace and I live together, and yesterday Grey messaged Grace asking her how she dealt with suicidal thoughts. He said that he really wants to kill himself and is worried. Grace is completely disgusted with Grey and thinks he�d a predator. She feels hurt because she was very close to him when she was his TA, but she doesn�t want anything to do with him. She told him to go to a hospital because that�s what she did. He didn�t respond.

Then he announced on Facebook that his partner had left him, and apparently a bunch of his friends started calling the cops because then he made a Facebook post about how he wanted everyone to stop calling the police because he was fine. People commented that if he answered his phone, they wouldn�t need to call the cops to make sure he was okay.

Then Grace messaged him asking if he was okay and he said, �A hospital won�t bring my partner back.�

Then he called Grace last night and she didn�t want to talk to him. I asked her if she�d be more comfortable putting him on speakerphone to talk to both of us. He was crying and possibly drunk. She said yes, and Grey asked us what mental hospitals and inn patient therapy were like. I have been to a hospital as well, so I gave him advice and he seemed receptive, but I don�t know if he�ll listen. He said he doesn�t want to go to the hospital because he�ll let his students down by leaving. He feels guilty that he already misses class a lot.

I told him he�d be better to his students if he got help and that maybe he could host after school makeup classes for students that really wanted to learn. He cried that his students are all he has left, and now I�m torn.

I feel a little gross. I feel weird. Is it okay for me to help this man who�s so broken when he�s done bad things? My current plan is to be here for him if he reaches out again, but I�m not going to reach out to him specifically. If he gets help and takes steps to better himself, I might tell him Layla�s story. But I don�t think it�s helpful right now. I think it might push him over the edge or make him spiral further.

I love Layla, and I honestly love Grey. This situation makes my head hurt, and I�m handling it the best way that I can but it�s hard. Am I doing the right thing? I feel like I�m two-faced. I tell Grey that he can get better and that he�ll get through this, but then I tell Layla that he shouldn�t be a teacher anymore. And I agree with both of these statements.

Grey is like a real-life Bojack Horseman. It�s also weird that he used to be my mentor that I idolized, but now I look at him like a sad, lost man who needs to get his poo poo together and own up to his mistakes and move forward.

TL;DR My old professor made advances on a student and I�m disgusted with him and a confidante to her. But I�ve also become a confidante to him now that he�s suicidal and his partner left him. Am I doing the right thing or am I being two-faced?

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:01

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

i'm sure he's depressed, he's got to step up his game if he wants to get on the supreme court

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:06

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

That woman called out her friend for calling out a creep. She's terrible. She was coughing on all the smoke and told her friend it was irresponsible to announce a fire.

My wife saw a former professor and he said "now that you're not my student, I can tell you how hot your rear end is." Why the gently caress do these guys act like this?

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

it's disgusting. academia is no better than penn state

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:07

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Leon Einstein posted:

That woman called out her friend for calling out a creep. She's terrible.

My wife saw a former professor and he said "now that you're not my student, I can tell you how hot your rear end is." Why the gently caress do these guys act like this?

Tenure is a Hell of a drug.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:08

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Tenure is a Hell of a drug.

I understand their jobs are safe, but do they really think that all their students want to gently caress them? The arrogance is ridiculous.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Leon Einstein posted:

I understand their jobs are safe, but do they really think that all their students want to gently caress them? The arrogance is ridiculous.

arrogance?! in academia?!?!

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:10

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Leon Einstein posted:

That woman called out her friend for calling out a creep. She's terrible. She was coughing on all the smoke and told her friend it was irresponsible to announce a fire.

My wife saw a former professor and he said "now that you're not my student, I can tell you how hot your rear end is." Why the gently caress do these guys act like this?

*sex pest George Mallory voice* because I can

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:11

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I don't know how much we can put it on media messaging when this chick straight up wrote "Grey is like a real-life Bojack Horseman" and still seems in any way conflicted over whether she should feel sorry for him

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:16

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Pick posted:

A lot of these guys are described as openly hostile to learning, though.

I remember being in college and someone was complaining my sneakers smelled bad after running club and they were like "you scrub between your toes, right?" and I was like woops no, it didn't occur to me, I thought they sorta... cleaned... themselves? in the shower, and then I was like doh lol, thanks for letting me know. And then the problem was fixed .

You just made my toes flinch

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:27

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

LadyPictureShow posted:

My [22F] former professor [39M] and mentor has shown signs of predatory behavior and harassed students. Is it bad that I still want to help him?

Open relationship
Creepy professor
Drunk as gently caress
Late night messages

# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:30

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Anne Whateley posted:

Women get A LOT of "don't be a shallow bitch so focused on the exterior, everyone has flaws, you need to stop waiting for Prince Charming" messaging. That's why the ones we're talking about not only don't object, you can see they also think they're bad people for even wanting to object.

I guess I've always found it strange that women never noticed that the men preaching this mantra were the Not-Prince-Charmings they were trying to sell, and the women preaching it were the ones who'd already bought it. Like a multi-level-marketing scam of sadness.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:12

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Perhaps there is a middle ground between waiting until you're in your forties for a rich handsome man who wants to do nothing but eat your rear end and crocheting with you and going out with a guy who has a bathroom so filthy hobos would refuse to jack in it because he looked vaguely in your direction once

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:39

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Just be rich yourself and go out on dates where the guy doesn�t want to split 50/50 because you also got a green tea, and then be like �lol� and go home by yourself and ignore his texts for 2-3 years

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:43

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Waiting for her Prince Charming to come from atop a wheelchair and beneath a truck

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:47

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

At last, the thread can talk about Pick again.

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:49

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

zakharov posted:

At last, the thread can talk about Pick again.

We stopped, ever?????

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:51

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I mean, the thread's #1 poster who talks a lot of poo poo will occasionally be a topic of conversation

# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:54

new boot goofin: Jul 23, 2007; like school in july

LadyPictureShow posted:

Grey is like a real-life Bojack Horseman.

Oh, loving puke

# ? Oct 5, 2018 20:02

Happitoo: Nov 24, 2005; We are going to go for the store, then the district manager. Then WE ARE GOING TO THE CORPORATE OFFICE AND THEN TO THE EXECUTIVES! DXRYAHHHHHHHHH!!

I think this is my new favourite title. The actual post is fairly boring, but the title is pure gold:

Gay polyamorous real estate dispute (Oregon)

ETA: It's from r/legaladvice

# ? Oct 5, 2018 20:04

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

loquacius posted:

I mean, the thread's #1 poster who talks a lot of poo poo will occasionally be a topic of conversation

thread is much better whenever that isn�t happening though

# ? Oct 5, 2018 20:09

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 02:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Happitoo posted:

I think this is my new favourite title. The actual post is fairly boring, but the title is pure gold:

Gay polyamorous real estate dispute (Oregon)

ETA: It's from r/legaladvice

My brain skipped the Dispute and I began wondering how real estate can be gay

# ? Oct 5, 2018 20:15

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