DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Yep this is some Ed Gein level stuff. Or perhaps more fittingly, Anatoly Moskvin who kept mummified young women in his home.

Pick posted:

I dunno, Mary Matalin and James Carville are still married iirc.

gently caress Your Website posted:

That’s because they play that game for money, rather than relationship points.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Then wouldn't it be Misogynist Josh?

Pick posted:

I dunno, Mary Matalin and James Carville are still married iirc.

Pick posted:

I dunno, Mary Matalin and James Carville are still married iirc.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

unstable extremely online maniacs yelling at each other about how human interaction works is the glue that binds the r/relationships thread together

Salty Josh posted:

LOL that she let politics, especially lovely ones involving SCOTUS appointments influence her relationship. And uh.... yeah, it is a point to look up your information and try to refute it during debate. It's called a rebuttal. It actually requires proof.

He's a dumbass for letting it get to that point. And he sounds indifferent towards sexual crimes, which implies he's either a sociopath or he's tired of the argument.

Personally, I think it's better to have differing opinions in a close relationship like that. Otherwise, she'd get bored and leave him anyways because he doesn't excite her.

quote:

This may seem petty compared to other posts here but I would appreciate objective input and this seems like the best place to get it.

We've been together for two years, we moved in together earlier this year and plan on getting married next spring. He's a great partner, we get along really well, we have a lot of fun together, share common goals for the future, the sex is amazing, and so on. I love this man to pieces and I would be here all day if I listed everything I adore about him. I'm not exaggerating when I say that, he's an awesome person. This all makes the issue at hand even more difficult because I feel like it doesn't matter but I'm not sure if ignoring it is the right thing to do.

I've noticed mistakes in his grammar and language but it doesn't bother me. However, I can tell other people pick up on it and sometimes subtly react (he doesn't seem to notice). He's a mechanic so it doesn't negatively impact him at work. His friends are all similar to him in how they speak, so it doesn't create issues there. Still, I can see people judging him and I actually had a friend say she thinks I can do better than him. I was floored, he's by far the best guy I've been with and I've never been happier in my life (and I'm distancing myself from her going forward). It really bothers me that anyone would think poorly of such a great man all because he doesn't speak perfectly. I'm far from perfect myself and I'm sure I make grammatical errors daily but they might not be as obvious (?).

Some examples to give you an idea of what I'm referring to:

He says "brang" instead of "brought"
He gets your/you're and their/there/they're mixed up in writing
He uses curse words often and openly, sometimes words that are not politically correct
He says "seen" instead of "saw"
He uses words like "ain't," "gonna," and "woulda"
He says "me and [name]" instead of "[name] and I"
Should I correct him? If yes, how can I do so in a tactful way? I don't want him to feel like I'm judging or think I don't accept him as he is (because I do). I'm torn as to whether or not I'm being unkind to ignore something I can tell other people notice.

tl;dr: My fiance is a great guy but he doesn't use the best grammar and/or language. I don't know if I should correct him or let it be. If I do correct him I want to do it in a respectful and kind way with consideration for his feelings.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

unstable extremely online maniacs yelling at each other about how human interaction works is the glue that binds the r/relationships thread together

Pick posted:

I dunno, Mary Matalin and James Carville are still married iirc.

burial posted:

Should I [28F] correct my fiance's [30M] grammar and language?
u/treeeelover

empty sea posted:

I had an old guy stop his truck and come right up to me at a roadside antique booth because my rental car had Michigan plates and I was in buttfuck North Carolina. He just walked straight up to me and barked, "You from Michigan? You moving down here?"

The gently caress, man. Maybe Michigan plates just have that effect on people.

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

yes yes he "often and openly" uses slurs, but this "brang" thing is really tearing me up inside.

quote:

I am an Asian American kid who is being bullied by a Black kid at school. I reported him to the principal but they didn't do anything. I told the teachers, yet they didn't do anything.

​

I ran into him and he was yelling at me. I yelled back "Go back to Africa, (n word)!". He gasped and so did many other kids of all races. The principal heard me and suspended me for saying racist things. I was simply standing up for myself and wanted him to stop bullying me

​

Now, everyone hates me. I don't know what I can do now. Everyone views me as a bad person and a racist while they see the victim as a hero/victim. I tried to go to some clubs and approach some girls but they wouldn't let me talk to them. My reputation is so bad, I may have to switch schools. What do I do now?

​

TL;DR: Said racist things to a bully and everyone now hates me. What do I do now?

LadyPictureShow posted:

I [16M] stood up to a bully and now everyone hates me for standing up for myself. How do I get everyone to stop hating me?

LadyPictureShow posted:

I [16M] stood up to a bully and now everyone hates me for standing up for myself. How do I get everyone to stop hating me?

hawowanlawow posted:

I don't have any right wing friends because right wing people are stupid as gently caress

burial posted:

zakharov posted:

I do wonder if he's on the spectrum since he seems to have no idea why people are mad.

Salty Josh posted:

Translated:

She forgot to get the tickets ahead of time because she was partying with some friends of hers. She had given him her word that she would look into it for him since, lets be honest here, with a vocabulary like his, he is probably working construction labor, and he doesn't have a chance to look at it. As a consolation, she offered to pick him up some Applebees on the way from the bar errrr movies where she tried to get the tickets.

After finally relenting to the fact that she was being just slightly inconsiderate, she proceeds to tell him how wonderful it must be to break your back swinging that sledge all day while she blogs about her difficult speech therapy classes all the while maintaining one finger in front of her and talking with her eyes closed.

She then tells him that university is extremely difficult and she like so many others, is having difficulty passing her classes due to procrastination with the excuse that she's just not all that intelligent despite always belittling his vernacular.

When he finally breaks down after months of this behavior, she victimizes herself and tells him that she can't believe his behavior.

quote:

Hi guys! What do you do when someone isn't hearing you?

Edit: No idea why I typed brother in the headline; this is about my friend Tim, I've just known him a long time

My friend is going through a period of time where he's trying to make positive changes in his life. I recently made some huge improvements in my mental and physical health, so he started chatting with me in a, "Hey, how did you do that?" kind of way.

I don't mind giving friends advice and sort of walking them through my thought process on things. I actually enjoy seeing how my friends think through problems and I always try to see if I can learn something from them.

Sometimes though, like this time, I just can't get through to them

So my friend, let's call him Tim for the sake of it-- he sees himself as a downtrodden, doormat guy who is finally asserting himself and becoming a more self-assured and confident person. He used to see problems and either ignore them or try to work around them. Now, he sees problems and he feels capable of solving them, so he wants to solve every problem he comes across.

Now, Tim is also in a weekly class that involves public speaking. Tim's current problem is based around a woman in his class (about the same age as him). In one of her speeches, this woman made a mistake. There was a feedback portion of the class where Tim pointed out her mistake, and the woman apparently became visibly upset and defensive. I don't know what exactly she did, but it sounds like she was just being snippy about it.

Although this incident took place six months ago, Tim can't stop thinking about it. He sees this woman's dismissiveness as a problem for him to fix. He said he can't get it out of his head, that he has to say something to her. He heard from another person in the class that, "Oh, you can't tell her anything," and he has now decided that this woman's attitude is his problem to take on. He wants to confront her.

He has a sort of hypothetical scenario in his head of finding the right time to walk up to her, what he'll say, and then if he'll walk away before she has a chance to respond. He came to me asking for advice on how to improve on this plan, and how to do a better job of confronting her.

Here were some thoughts of mine, which I told him:

* If you come up to her outside of class it's going outside of the bounds of the class's structure, and you might cross into the line of harassment. At least, she may see it that way.
* In general, if I, a woman, was approached by a man I didn't know who was upset about something that happened six months ago, I would run. I would loving run.
* If she has an attitude problem, an upset classmate is not going to get rid of it. You guys will just argue.
* If this is a problem she has that's related to the class, you can tell your concern to an instructor who can speak to her one-on-one (he immediately said, "No, I have to be the one to do this." Yikes.)
* Not every problem can be fixed by one person, and I don't think everyone else's problems are your business.

I honestly think Tim should learn to accept that some things are Not His Problem, including this one. He didn't really hear me. He said, "No, but I really do think I need to confront her in this scenario."

I took a different tack then, and tried to talk to him about approaching the conversation in a friendly, compassionate way. "Don't talk like you're in a fight, talk like you would to a friend." Because if he's committed to talking to her, I'd rather help him do it in a kind, understanding way. To ask questions, to listen with an open heart, etc. But I don't have faith that he can do it though; he got so heated when talking about her that he raised his voice twice and kept calling her names. I had to be like, "Hey, keep it down, dude."

I think part of it also involves his ego being bruised when the woman didn't take him seriously. But a bigger part is this recent compulsion Tim feels to fix everything. I don't think his new mindset is a healthy one, because he's not using in moderation. He sees it as an extreme.

I'm worried that my friend may be going through a manic episode or something and is unable to hear me. I understand the irony that his problem is not my problem, but I ask because he came to me for advice. If the consensus is, "Let him do his thing," I'll just let him do his thing. But, have you ever been able to get through to a friend who is starting down a path that might lead to him being an rear end?

TL;DR - My friend wants to confront a woman to "fix" her problem. I think he's just planning on harassing a stranger. He's asking me for advice, but only hears what he wants to. Can I do anything?

Haifisch posted:

My (27F) brother (30M) is asking for advice on how to harass a woman, he doesn't see it that way though

Mamkute posted:

Just disguise yourself as that woman, and act so that he believes he solved the problem.

Blade Runner posted:

It is a fantasy really only perpetuated in extremely online "resist" places that all that many people are breaking up over politics in 2018

Like I live in loving NYC and that hasn't been my experience, most people just don't care as long as you're pretty and don't hit them