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A Wizard of Goatse posted:It is, however, deeply ethical to octuple those loans while pushing all the teaching off on grad students because I read an article that having a championship-winning football team and seventy three assistant deans helps students get better grades college sports are a blight and should be purged from existence, but when you create a system where universities have to rely on public donations and revenue generation to supplement their budgets, and people in terrible southern states only care about sports...
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Oct 17, 2018 03:32
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I mean, it was in his jerk off supplies area and it said "essential." He'd be stupid to jerk off without it
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Oct 17, 2018 03:37
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If you asked me to guess which bottle of lotion cost $40 and which one cost $5 I would guess they both cost $5 because I cannot understand a world where someone would pay $40 for lotion.
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Oct 17, 2018 03:41
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blarzgh posted:If you asked me to guess which bottle of lotion cost $40 and which one cost $5 I would guess they both cost $5 because I cannot understand a world where someone would pay $40 for lotion. Ask your wife.
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Oct 17, 2018 03:48
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and that's why you just don't touch the lotion.
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Oct 17, 2018 03:49
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wait are we supposed to be lubricating it
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Oct 17, 2018 03:53
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TheScott2K posted:wait are we supposed to be lubricating it I think Cousin It needs shampoo and conditioner.
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Oct 17, 2018 03:54
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Just SMH if you need to lube it up to get off.
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Oct 17, 2018 03:56
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blarzgh posted:If you asked me to guess which bottle of lotion cost $40 and which one cost $5 I would guess they both cost $5 because I cannot understand a world where someone would pay $40 for lotion. The $40 lotion feels really good, for penises
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Oct 17, 2018 04:00
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therobit posted:Ask your wife. She just shook her head at me??
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Oct 17, 2018 04:01
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does anyone remember the girl who got in trouble for wearing a "stop groping me" shirt while the gropers didn't get punished? there's a happy ending, but light on details: Daughter threatened with expulsion over t-shirt update. This isn't much of an update, but people have been asking. I edited my original post because it went viral and I didn't want my daughter to be doxxed. I certainly didn't want to expose her to the cruelty that comes with such viral stories. Once this story started floating around the district, the superintendent connected the dots and jumped on it pretty quickly. The principal was quietly replaced and the boys were disciplined. My daughter was not punished and the superintendent actually apologized to her for everything that happened. Again, we have no desire to go public here. We are trying not to let our daughter's entire school year get consumed by this, so we decided as a family not to pursue anything further unless something else happens. Thank you all for your advice on my previous post.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:13
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I fell in love with a hooker. So after a night in which I ended up losing the €2,500 of profit I had in a hand in which I had 84% chances of winning (I'm a professional poker player in Paris since I was 20), I felt in a horrible mood, which is not very common in me since to play professionally you gotta have a great dose of self-control, which I have most of the times. I had to relieve all the stress, so I thought of loving an asian prostitute. Had never hosed an asian before. The hooker shows up at my hotel room. She's really petite and gorgeous, not very talkative, and barely speaks French, so we talk in English. Looks even younger than me (I'm 23) and looks nervous. "I do everything except kissing", she says, avoiding eye contact, as I laugh to myself, wondering how many hookers identify themselves with Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. "I wasn't thinking about kissing you either", I say. I tell her to wash in front of me. "So you have a girlfriend?" "No" "Then why don't you like kissing?" I stay in silence. "I never suck without a condom", she adds, and I wonder if she finds me so unattractive she doesn't wanna suck my naked dick or if she's hurt because I have no interest in kissing her. She starts sucking me, but I'm elsewhere, thinking about how lucky that 16% chance guy got to earn (undeservedly) my €2,500 profit. "You don't like how I do it?" "Yes. You do it good" I sound robotic. Apathetic. And I'm not even enjoying. I'm moody. I don't even feel like looking at her asian slut face. I just say "doggystyle". She's wet. Maybe she put lube in her and I didn't even realize. I'm still thinking about the hand. She doesn't moan. It's more like she's in pain. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. It's ok" "No. Tell me." "It's ok. Continue" I stop. "Take your money and leave" I'm feeling like punching her for not hearing the loving reason why she's in pain. "Why?" "Just leave" "A client hurt me today", she starts crying, "but my boss forces me to continue working" I take a pill of valium. "Why the gently caress do you do this?" "I'm so sorry. I will leave and you can keep your money, sir" "You're so loving beautiful and young. Why the gently caress are you selling your body?" "Because I have no one here and it's better than being homeless" "I don't give a gently caress" I feel numb. "If you continue selling your body, I'm gonna find you and beat you up" Bla bla bla. We do a lot of talking. Lying on the bed. Naked. She puts one of her legs on me and her hand on my chest. I tell her about how I left home at 16 because my parents were abusive and addicted to alcohol and she cries while hearing it. Bla bla bla. Her time to leave comes, but she decides to stay a bit more without charging me any more money. Two hours later she leaves, having given me her personal number and I promise her. If she keeps selling her body I will beat her up. She kisses me on the lips. Leads to french kissing. I'm still numb. And sleepy because of the valium. She leaves, and makes me promise I'll call her. tl;dr: I have fallen for a hooker, but I don't know if I can have anything serious with her, knowing what she (is) was.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:20
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blarzgh posted:She just shook her head at me?? In this case do not use any lotion that you do not already know the brand name of from TV and you will be ok. I have been with my wife for 18 years and while I don't know 100% what makes a $40 lotion a $40 lotion, I feel confident I could distinguish it from a $20 or $5 lotion just by looking at the packaging.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:20
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I fell in love with a hooker. I seriously laughed out loud after that line. That 100% was absolutely written with both hands 
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Oct 17, 2018 04:23
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I fell in love with a hooker. Even though it is very likely fake that line says a whole bunch about this guys thought process.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:28
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Cat Army
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I fell in love with a hooker. Goddamn don't post your freshman writing class project on Reddit.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:28
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La Brea Carpet posted:Goddamn don't post your freshman writing class project on Reddit. And if you do, please only post the ones that got an A.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:34
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mllaneza posted:And if you do, please only post the ones that got an A. No, not even then.
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Oct 17, 2018 04:39
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look that story is 100% authentic, I mean that must happen all the time to professional gamblers who live in Paris and only feel slightly upset when they loose thousands of dollars it’s good he didn’t lose control while loving what sounds like an underage hooker or else he might have done something crazy
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Oct 17, 2018 04:45
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She bent down to give me a bit of "sucky sucky" I noticed the scars criss crossing her porcelain skin. If the world could be so cruel to a creature of such beauty, what did it have to offer me? At that moment something broke inside of me. Chasing payouts and benzo highs were just distractions from a cruel and meaningless existence. But yet, here was a delicate lotus blossom, prostrate before me, smiling, a beacon of light in my darkness. I pulled her to her feet and kissed her deeply, like a drowning man drawing in air for the first time in a long time. She started to push me away but soon her body sagged against mine as she lost herself in my lips. After a moment she pulled away and looked at me with curious eyes. "Baby, like the song says you gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em, and you're a queen high flush that I'm never putting down."
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Oct 17, 2018 05:01
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La Brea Carpet posted:She bent down to give me a bit of "sucky sucky" I noticed the scars criss crossing her porcelain skin. If the world could be so cruel to a creature of such beauty, what did it have to offer me? 
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Oct 17, 2018 05:02
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La Brea Carpet posted:She bent down to give me a bit of "sucky sucky" I noticed the scars criss crossing her porcelain skin. If the world could be so cruel to a creature of such beauty, what did it have to offer me? I feel like you were probably born to write this and wonder what will become of you now that you finally have.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:08
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I'm still at page 2501 so it's likely I'll never meet you all in this lifetime, but I wanted to send this as a token of appreciation.Jeza posted:"Son? I've brought you some snacks."
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Oct 17, 2018 05:19
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therobit posted:In this case do not use any lotion that you do not already know the brand name of from TV and you will be ok. This is 100% what makes a $40 lotion a $40 lotion 
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Oct 17, 2018 05:19
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Mongoose posted:I'm still at page 2501 so it's likely I'll never meet you all in this lifetime, but I wanted to send this as a token of appreciation. Oh man, I forgot how awesome that was. Enjoy your time back there! and thank-you.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:29
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HazCat posted:This is 100% what makes a $40 lotion a $40 lotion The real difference is my wife really likes the $40 one and I'm not gonna question it because it makes her happy, and my wife having a little joy each evening when she puts on lotion is more important than the utility that another $35 would buy me Plus it makes her smell nice, and Jergens wouldn't.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:30
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The trick is to just go past a place that sells that fancy poo poo and has a tester on your way home every day. You get to spend $0 and have your hands stink like fancy poo poo for rich people. Masturbation with it is at the users discretion.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:32
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I had a girlfriend who thought it would endear her if she shoplifted a shitload of fancy lotion for me
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Oct 17, 2018 05:39
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Pick posted:I had a girlfriend who thought it would endear her if she shoplifted a shitload of fancy lotion for me well?
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Oct 17, 2018 05:40
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therobit posted:The real difference is my wife really likes the $40 one and I'm not gonna question it because it makes her happy, and my wife having a little joy each evening when she puts on lotion is more important than the utility that another $35 would buy me Nice packaging makes us feel good, that's literally why it exists. I wasn't calling your wife dumb for preferring the $40 stuff. It literally is just the packaging (which includes the scent) that is different, though.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:41
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Pick posted:I had a girlfriend who thought it would endear her if she shoplifted a shitload of fancy lotion for me Did it? Why did she tell you she shoplifted it instead of making something else up?
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Oct 17, 2018 05:41
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therobit posted:Did it? Why did she tell you she shoplifted it instead of making something else up? Shoplifting means I love you.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:45
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MarcusSA posted:Shoplifting means I love you. Not if she isnt selling it online. I dont respect thieves, I respect hustlers
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Oct 17, 2018 05:46
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Barudak posted:Not if she isnt selling it online. I dont respect thieves, I respect hustlers The stone cold move is taking it back for a refund.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:47
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Barudak posted:Not if she isnt selling it online. I dont respect thieves, I respect hustlers Yeah, they can use that hustle money to buy you something fancy like the good lotion.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:47
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Barudak posted:Not if she isnt selling it online. I dont respect thieves, I respect hustlers You'll never find a dime that ain't mine motherfucker. edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf6fCDtR4NA
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Oct 17, 2018 05:54
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bell jar posted:well? I like it when people try to endear themselves to me but it wasn't like the best way, crimes.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:57
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Pick posted:I like it when people try to endear themselves to me but it wasn't like the best way, crimes. Well, she's not the type of woman you would write bad checks for.
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Oct 17, 2018 05:58
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therobit posted:Well, she's not the type of woman you would write bad checks for. a wise man, my dad, always said: never commit a crime anyone can prove
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Oct 17, 2018 06:01
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Pick posted:a wise man, my dad, always said: never commit a crime anyone can prove So He would kill and Dissolve Winnie the Pooh for being a freeloader,an unprovable crime without a body?
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Oct 17, 2018 06:12
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