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Why not tell her that some of the problems are directly related to ADHD, and you want to fix them, and addressing the ADHD will give you the tools to do it?
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Mar 11, 2011 00:13
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TheGopher posted:Why not tell her that some of the problems are directly related to ADHD, and you want to fix them, and addressing the ADHD will give you the tools to do it? It was ok when I had a good day as far as getting stuff done, but when I have bad days I just get things like this. I wanted her to read the book to help her be able to help me but it backfired and I'm dumbfounded as to why.
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Mar 11, 2011 00:18
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Serious suggestion: Couples Counseling. With a competent therapist, not a crackpot. Maybe she'll be able to 'hear' it better re: ADHD if it's coming from an impartial mediator instead of the other spouse. Good luck.
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Mar 11, 2011 00:48
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Qu Appelle posted:Serious suggestion: Couples Counseling. With a competent therapist, not a crackpot. I was going to say this as well. It's the first thing I was offered when I was diagnosed. My wife is phenomenally wonderful, I wish I would have taken the offer. She's just now starting to realize what I'm dealing with. Being understanding is just the first thing, you have to make changes to your life, and that's going affect her too. She's going to affect your success as well.
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Mar 11, 2011 01:01
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Because she already had these issues with you and probably wanted to bring them up. She used the situation as an invitation to air her grievances, which is kinda hosed up because if she has a problem she should bring it up, instead of waiting for somebody else to bring attention to the issue. Again, as I said already, make sure she knows this is about you right now, not her. I do have to say, however, that some of the things she's complaining about are things that seeing a doctor and medication will not fix, mostly the sleep related issues. I had the same issues, sleeping 12 hours a day, staying up too late, not being able to wake up when the alarm goes off, etc. This is something that I had to practice, and it took a really long time to get to where I am now in this regard: able to wake up when an alarm goes off, no matter how tired, or how little sleep I got. The number one thing that works for me, is waking up to the radio, since you can't get used to the sound it makes. I put on one of those really aggravating "edgy" morning shows, with the annoying sound bytes and terrible music in-between segments. I make sure the volume is just barely too loud for comfort, and I put it across the room so I absolutely must get out of bed to turn it off. Getting out of bed part is huge, because if I don't get out of bed, I'm going to fall back asleep. You should see me in the morning, it's almost comical how quickly I can go from being dead asleep to swinging my legs around to literally jump out of bed to turn that thing off. While I'm proud of the progress I've made, because I hosed myself over so many times by saying "gently caress it" when I woke up and turning off my alarm and going back to sleep, ignoring any prior commitments or responsibilities. The best part about working on your sleep issues, is that it will immediately show your wife that you are committed to doing better for yourself. Part of the issues she has with you, I'm sure, aren't just because your behavior impacts her negatively, but because she sees you doing so poorly for yourself, and is completely powerless to help you. By working on something that you definitely can change for the better, you will make her more willing to be supportive of you. Some of the other stuff you're saying you can do better with if you get on medication. Stuff like, following through with promises or things that aren't simply interesting, not waiting until the last minute, or not being so impulsive. What could be a problem, is that your wife is being a mom for you, instead of a partner. I'm guess if you don't do something, say clean the bathroom, or do dishes, any chore really, your wife will eventually cave in and do it for you. Being on the receiving end of this, it really loving sucks, because what happens is that the other person reaps the benefit of the work done without actually contributing to it. The other side of the issue (again, this may not be the case, but I'm making assumptions) is that your wife needs to not cave in, because it just reinforces the subconscious response, that endlessly procrastinating will eventually pay off. I could go on, but I'm at work and I think this is most of what I was thinking.
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Mar 11, 2011 01:21
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TheGopher posted:I had the same issues, sleeping 12 hours a day, staying up too late, not being able to wake up when the alarm goes off, etc. Yeah, it got so bad for me that I would sleepwalk across the room to get to the alarm without remembering, so I had to start putting it behind things or in places that required some motor function to get to. The biggest red flag about this entire situation is that she married you and you have a 2 year old with her (I think?). She obviously loved you or wanted to be with you enough to marry and have children, but it's only now she's having problems? Do you think it has something to do with childcare, or an imbalance of finances? That's all I can think of, since the pressure between my husband and I is only bad when he has definite plans and I'm not helping contribute.
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Mar 11, 2011 02:58
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My psychiatrist started me on Adderall XR after diagnosing. Starting low, 10 mg, and I feel a slight glimmer of something for a few hours. Kind of like I just calm down, my brain shuts the gently caress up for a bit, and I feel like I actually have a choice to sit down and work. It is awesome. Is this what feeling normal is like? However by about lunch time it goes away... I understand it is a really low dose, and I see him on Tuesday, so I am guessing he will up that dose. I am really really excited to see how my life changes.
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Mar 11, 2011 15:49
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Has anyone here been on Adderall for an extended period of time, as in more than a year? Did you notice any increase in tolerance? I'm asking because, this drug is like a miracle but what happens when it simply stops working? 
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Mar 11, 2011 16:07
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Tab8715 posted:Has anyone here been on Adderall for an extended period of time, as in more than a year? Did you notice any increase in tolerance? The music stops and there's one less chair than there are people.
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Mar 11, 2011 17:07
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Chin Strap posted:However by about lunch time it goes away... I understand it is a really low dose, and I see him on Tuesday, so I am guessing he will up that dose. I am really really excited to see how my life changes. While its a low dose, XR should be lasting ~10 hours in your system. Is it that you go back to feeling like you do unmedicated, or you just stop "feeling" the drug?
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Mar 11, 2011 18:09
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2508084 posted:While its a low dose, XR should be lasting ~10 hours in your system. Is it that you go back to feeling like you do unmedicated, or you just stop "feeling" the drug? Its not exactly as I feel unmedicated, it just stops feeling quite as active. I mean I can tell the difference between like now, when I feel it has worn down some, and like 8 tonight when it is completely gone, but still how I feel now isn't unmedicated but it isn't really good enough to get poo poo done like I do after about an hour after taking it.
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Mar 11, 2011 18:34
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Lucky me, someone just asked my question! Mines a little different though. I was diagnosed a few months ago. I won't go into detail, but I still had a little doubt and it was really nice to see how close my experiences are to everyone else's. When other people find out they usually tell me I'm not hyper enough, that they don't believe me, I just need to work harder, etc. It's hard not to believe something when you hear it so often. So thanks. But anyway, adderall XR turned on a light in my head. It didn't make me do anything, but among other benefits, when it occurred to me that I had something I could be doing, I had the power to choose to do it and follow through with that task without starting five other things. Now there's nothing. No power to filter out stimuli or choose my focus; at best a small boost in the morning during my classes. At night I feel horrible anxiety and pressure, my days are blurring. I'm tired, my hair is falling out, and sometimes I have trouble, physically, saying what I'm trying to say. How long did it take before it stopped working for you Tab8715, others? It has only been a few months for me, and it's really distressing. I felt like a normal person. Now, I'm comorbid BPII, so that could(is) definitely be playing in, but I haven't had a major depressive episode for two years so I'm looking at the adderall as the culprit. I am seeing my doctor on Tuesday about all this, but I guess I wanted to know if it had stopped working for anyone else so quickly before. Does this mean I don't really have ADHD? But would I have tanked so hard if I didn't? I assume we'll at least talk about switching meds. Could you guys tell me your experiences with other meds or direct me to the pages in the thread that discuss such things? Also, Chin Strap, that's interesting. I always felt that it cut out on me early too (when it was working). Snickering fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Mar 12, 2011 |
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Mar 12, 2011 07:33
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Snickering posted:How long did it take before it stopped working for you Tab8715, others? It has only been a few months for me, and it's really distressing. I felt like a normal person. Now, I'm comorbid BPII, so that could(is) definitely be playing in, but I haven't had a major depressive episode for two years so I'm looking at the adderall as the culprit. a BPII diagnosis along with ADHD makes me... wary. Why would you feed a person who is BPII with stimulants? IIRC, thats not a great idea for the same reason most Anti-D's are not a good idea. It bottoms you out on one set of emotions. Certain types of anti-ds can induce manic episodes in bi polar patients. You may have a bad medicine, it happens. Depakote induced a psychotic-like rage in me (which is a rare, rare side effect, do not stop taking your depakote if you are just because you read this one statement). Bad meds happen. What Adderall gives you, Ritalin may not. Its the same for every drug.
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Mar 12, 2011 07:52
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Adderall doesn't feel like it's doing as much as it used to for me as well. I think what I've confused it with is that it no longer creates motivation for me anymore. If I want to focus on something it's not hard and I won't get distracted. The issue is that I have a terrible habit of bouncing around from one activity to another. Though ADHD exacerbates the issue, there's a certain amount of personal responsibility I have toward improving my own response to the medication.
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Mar 12, 2011 08:12
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TheGopher posted:there's a certain amount of personal responsibility I have toward improving my own response to the medication. please put in the OP for reference. In huge, bold letters. There seems to be a huge misconception that medicine fixes everything. You take you're pill and BOOM! You're better.
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Mar 12, 2011 08:15
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TheGopher posted:Adderall doesn't feel like it's doing as much as it used to for me as well. I think what I've confused it with is that it no longer creates motivation for me anymore. If I want to focus on something it's not hard and I won't get distracted. The issue is that I have a terrible habit of bouncing around from one activity to another. Though ADHD exacerbates the issue, there's a certain amount of personal responsibility I have toward improving my own response to the medication. A couple of things I have noticed about the meds. I don't think that I'm developing a tolerance to them. Which is good. The mention about personal responsibility is an excellent one, because I can tell this difference. When I'm not on my  , I can't concentrate. But when I am, sometimes I *won't* concentrate on the right task. Like, I'll have a stressful afternoon at work, and I'll make the conscious decision to spend some time farting around SA and read threads, instead of doing Boring Task X. Sometimes, I can limit it to a few minutes, other times I lose track of time and I find that I wasted a hour here. The upside to my job is that there's a lot of physical activity, which gets some of the jitters out, there's lots of different tasks to do, and the work is actually interesting and fun, most of the time. Especially in regards to personal responsibility, I see the drug as a tool, not a crutch. (Probably because I have actual crutches, and they look nothing alike!) There are other things that I do at work to help me deal with my ADHD and the workplace in general - I drink lots of herbal and green tea, which keeps me calm. I listen to Classical music, because that also keeps me calm, yet is interesting enough for my brain to chew on while working. I've also learned that if things just get to stressful, to go take a walk. I didn't do that enough on my last job, and it suffered as a result. Qu Appelle fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Mar 12, 2011 |
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Mar 12, 2011 08:37
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I would like to do counseling but I don't have insurance and for some reason she was reluctant even when we did have insurance. We went a few times, then nothing. I got fired in November and now I am just a stay at home dad. I make the same amount of money as before from unemployment (fired without just cause). I have a doctors appointment scheduled for later this month sometime. I am not taking meds currently and I am not doing any counseling but I think I should be doing both.
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Mar 12, 2011 08:59
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Lot to say, but my meds ran out hours ago and I don't want to ramble. I started on Concentra. At first it was wonderful, within 5 months it was having little effect. Tried Vyvanse. That lasted 3 days, and maybe the dose was too high, but it didn't fix the part of my brain I need to write coherent sentences. So I was just an amped up Inattentive ADHD who felt like he was going to have a heart attack half the time. Going to try Adderal XR next. Having spoken with my wonderful GP, and two nurse practitioners with over 200 adhd patients between them all- everyone reacts differently so you just have to try different drugs. There's no rhyme or reason to which one will work, and there is a possibility that none will work as completely as we all hope. As far as counseling is concerned, you don't have to wait to get rolling on coping. There are great coping methods published on the web. You can find a free support group. You need to be careful because unemployment is pretty much hell for us. A structureless day is something that will feed frustration and lead to depression, anxiety, etc. One of the things I'm doing is going to buy a watch that beeps every hour during a certain hour range, so I can tell how much time an hour is. Remember to take a break etc. Sounds stupid, but its something that will help my world. Its funny how people still treat therapy like its the loving 1950s. My shithead brother went to one family counseling session, admitted it was helpful and productive and that he was hosed up, and then finished the sentiment with "I'm never going again." Just because some counseling wasn't productive for her/you probably means you didn't have the right therapist. It takes an investment of time, but a good one is someone who's been doing it for 15 years and can make a living by helping people. The ones that don't solve problems, usually don't make it.
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Mar 12, 2011 09:41
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Need some insight here. I have been officially diagnosed by two separate psychiatrists as both manic bipolar AND severe ADD. As you can probably tell, you can't treat one without seriously hindering the other. If you treat the Bipolar, you worsen the ADD with mood stabilizers, making it more difficult to concentrate (and in my case, make me a zombie with ADD). If you treat the ADD, the stimulants, well, stimulate the manic episodes associated with Bipolar Disorder. Naturally that doesn't sound too bad with the "highs" but can be dangerous with the "lows". Do any of you have this problem? My doctors don't think it wise to give me anything for ADD because they think it's dangerous, but this ADD is killing me.
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Mar 17, 2011 03:47
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XXdragonsparkzXX posted:Need some insight here. I have been officially diagnosed by two separate psychiatrists as both manic bipolar AND severe ADD. As you can probably tell, you can't treat one without seriously hindering the other. If you treat the Bipolar, you worsen the ADD with mood stabilizers, making it more difficult to concentrate (and in my case, make me a zombie with ADD). If you treat the ADD, the stimulants, well, stimulate the manic episodes associated with Bipolar Disorder. Naturally that doesn't sound too bad with the "highs" but can be dangerous with the "lows". I would think a nonstimulant ADD med with a non-SSRI anti-d would be okay. why do you have two separate psychiatrists? e. Generally, at least in my case, youll run the gamut of cocktails for bi polar disorder. If none of those work, you'll run the gamut of cocktails for major depression + agoraphobia/paranoia (pick one, really), then when that doesn't work they'll start with ADD meds. ADD and Bi Polar disorder look a lot alike, its not surprising youve been diagnosed with both. I've been diagnosed with at least half a dozen disorders throughout the last five years. ladyweapon fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Mar 17, 2011 |
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Mar 17, 2011 03:56
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2508084 posted:I would think a nonstimulant ADD med with a non-SSRI anti-d would be okay. why do you have two separate psychiatrists? By two shrinks I meant that I had a second opinion, and the two of them talked on the phone to compare notes or whatever they did. I don't know why neither of them brought up ADHD, seeing that it has more of the bipolar up and down feel to it. And my episodes are really quick in terms of highs or lows.
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Mar 17, 2011 04:02
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XXdragonsparkzXX posted:By two shrinks I meant that I had a second opinion, and the two of them talked on the phone to compare notes or whatever they did. I don't know why neither of them brought up ADHD, seeing that it has more of the bipolar up and down feel to it. And my episodes are really quick in terms of highs or lows. Because they're used interchangeably and they probably didn't feel the need to specify or were being lazy. Have you seen your actual axis? I say I have ADD because ADHD is too much effort to say. ADD flows off the tongue better and no one knows the difference. And the people who do generally don't care.
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Mar 17, 2011 04:09
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Adderall XR never triggered any manic episodes for me, but it did send me into a depressive episode, which contributed to me not taking my lamictal regularly, which made it worse. I'm on Focalin XR now, which my psych says is less likely to trigger swings. I haven't been told anything about my lamictal diminishing the effectiveness of my ADHD meds, but I'd expect they'd give you a higher dose to counteract that. Bipolar has high comorbidity with ADHD, so the two could be confused or you could have both. If you're nervous about the stimulants triggering mania, maybe ask for one of the non-stimulant treatments. Whether this is worth it depends on where you are on the spectrum, I guess. If you're heavy on the mania, lithium will probably stop your stimulant from triggering manic episodes. Whatever ends up happening, take fish oil. I'd say they're on the right track by trying to get your Bipolar medications down before messing with the ADHD meds.
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Mar 17, 2011 04:23
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I like how I leave work at 8pm with no new posts in this topic, come home 40 minutes later and there are 5 posts. BIKES!
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Mar 17, 2011 04:42
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TheGopher posted:BIKES! Speaking of BIKES , this lady who rides my morning bus every day asked me where my BIKE was. I told her I quit riding it the last time it broke because I found a bus route that was faster/easier and I didn't need it. She said she saw some dude with a BIKE (!!!) that looked exactly like mine. He got on the bus and she almost asked him where he had gotten that bike because it looked suspiciously like mine and I hadn't had it with me in a couple weeks.Be careful guys, people will notice if you don't have a  BIKE with you.Oh and bad admission time. I went against all the advice I ever give, because I'm a dirty hypocrite, and doubled down on my adderall the day of the last exam. It was so much better. I felt clearer, more focused, but I still chattered non-loving-stop. I never stop talking. I'm the literal version of 
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Mar 17, 2011 04:55
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2508084 posted:Oh and bad admission time. I went against all the advice I ever give, because I'm a dirty hypocrite, and doubled down on my adderall the day of the last exam. We're all dirty hypocrites, but we tend to be more hypersensitive to hypocrisy than most. Then again, being virtuous is always a challenge, and there are entire religions devoted to trying to be a better, more virtuous person, yet they still recognize everybody makes mistakes. As for literal version of . You and me both. I've pissed off countless numbers of people for never shutting the gently caress up, and I used to feel bad for doing it. Now I get irritated with other people because I know I try the best I can, and they get snippy with me the second they feel I'm irritating. Seeing how I've been getting significantly more assertive in the last few months, I'm kind of looking forward to trying it out on a situation like the aforementioned.My dirty secret is that I love making people feel bad when they complain about having to repeat themselves frequently because of my horrible hearing. It's usually something about how I should pay better attention, and I love seeing the look on their face when I tell them I have hearing aids that I can't wear, and as such they're an insensitive douchebag. (Ok there are many more but I need to stop and go eat and doing something fun)
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Mar 17, 2011 05:38
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OK. Stupid embarrassing question of the month. When I was a kid, I'd pick at my skin a lot, especially when bored, or stressed out. But as an adult, it's mostly gone away except for periods of really high stress. However now? On the ? It's back. Oh, it's back, especially when my Dex wears off in the evening. It's like this compulsion to pick at every single blemish at my skin, every night. I obviously don't want to do this, and I don't think it's a reason to go off a drug that otherwise has helped me a lot, but I can't think of any things to do to distract me off of it or prevent myself from doing it. Like, if there's a less damaging activity I could do instead, that'd be great.
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Mar 17, 2011 06:16
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I do it too! Just stand and stare at myself in the mirror obsessing over every little thing. It doesn't help that I get tons of ingrown beard hairs because I have curly hair, so there's always a reason for me to be there with tweezers. The only way I can stop it sometimes is to distract myself with something else. Think to myself, "Oh hey guitar would be extra fun right now." Other than that, let me know if you find a good solution. :x
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Mar 17, 2011 06:28
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Qu Appelle posted:However now? On the Now as of when? Ever since you started your dex? Haven't you been going through some high stress poo poo at your job with the dumb rear end HR temp and everything?
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Mar 17, 2011 06:30
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2508084 posted:Now as of when? Ever since you started your dex? Haven't you been going through some high stress poo poo at your job with the dumb rear end HR temp and everything? Now as of starting the Dex. I had it with Adderall, but less pronounced. Job turned out to settle down a lot. It's still stressful, but the newest HR person is also the best one - she even got us free chair massages this week! It turns out that the job, while still stressful and I'm still learning a lot, is also perfectly suited to my working style, which is 'give me a bunch of poo poo to do and leave me alone'. It's quiet enough to where I can hear people with hardly any issue, and giving all of my attention to 1 project instead of half of it to two means that I can focus a lot better and get a lot more done. And the boss likes my work. I remember it happening on days when the Dex wore off back when I was unemployed, but that was a different ball of stress.
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Mar 17, 2011 06:37
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Qu Appelle posted:OK. Stupid embarrassing question of the month. Sometimes ADHD meds can cause weird things like chewing your lips and cheeks or clenching your jaw, and also increase obsessive/repetitive movements(somewhat ironically in my opinion, taking an ADHD med that makes you a bit OCD...). They can also cause anxiety, and when they fade it can increase anxiety too. So a nervous behavior is being amplified by your med. I've channeled this tendency into twirling my hair or cleaning my fingernails. The first is probably not an option for you, and it also gives people the impression that I'm an airhead. Whenever I notice I'm doing it I try to lay my palms flat on the table. As far as nail cleaning, that would only work if you didn't take it too far which, considering the skin picking, would be unlikely. Try getting a worry stone or something inconspicuous for your hand to play with like a rubber band on your wrist, a stress ball, something. Also look up some cognitive behavioral techniques for what you can do to deal with your emotions other than the picking, and to recognize when and why you are picking.
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Mar 17, 2011 06:47
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Yeah its a pretty common stimulant thing. Thinking about it, I've been biting the skin around my nails a whole hell of a lot more than I ever have. Put vasoline on your face.
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Mar 17, 2011 06:49
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Qu Appelle posted:OK. Stupid embarrassing question of the month. Oh man, I am always picking at my fingers and giving myself hangnails then picking that and making that worse. Scabs are hours of entertainment. I hate doing it but I do it anyway wooooo. BIKES!!! Looked at the tv before hitting submit and was picking at my thumb before I knew it.
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Mar 17, 2011 08:25
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One thing you can do is ritualize skin care a bit. I added a luffa and once in a while some moisturizing cream. He'll I'm a boy, so remembering to wash my butt in the shower is challenging. By taking a little extra care, I can cope with the urge and just find something else to do, like tickle my wife.
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Mar 17, 2011 09:59
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It's been forever since I've posted in this thread! Seems like there are a lot of people in the thread lately having issues with people living with them who are annoyed by their ADHD. And while I obviously feel for ya, it's not easy to have to control anything, I also feel for the people living with you. My ADHD is super genetic and my mother was unmedicated for the majority of the time that I lived with my parents and it was incredibly hard. My mom wouldn't remember basic things I was doing in my life. One of our biggest fights happened when I was going to symphony practice, something I'd done every sunday for years, and she asked why I needed the car. I told her it was sunday and noon, but she had completely forgotten about it. I was crushed and mad because this was something that was a pretty big deal in my life. She's like that though, she'll remember cute things that her friends kids did or the color of the walls that the dentist who took out my wisdom teeth had (black) but could she ever remember when I was doing things, or who my boss was or anything about my life? Nope. She tries, but whenever I get mad about it, her response is always 'I have ADHD, it's not my fault'. I know she has ADHD. I understand more about it than she does, but I make an effort to remember those little things because they're something I struggle with. Basically, I understand that it's rough for everyone involved. But that's life, and there comes a point where you have to start making an effort, or at least make sure that they know that you're trying, to make an effort. If you take the stand that 'It's my ADHD and if you can't deal with it then go', you're going to lose people in your life. It's a two way street, but we know our problems, we know what works, and we have to try harder to overcome those. It's not fair, but it's life.
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Mar 17, 2011 15:47
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TheBigBad posted:One thing you can do is ritualize skin care a bit. I added a luffa and once in a while some moisturizing cream. He'll I'm a boy, so remembering to wash my butt in the shower is challenging. By taking a little extra care, I can cope with the urge and just find something else to do, like tickle my wife. I do this kinda diversion with my nails for the cuticle tearing/biting/ADHD-OCD autopilot poo poo. Fussing with filing, painting and sticking poo poo onto my nails diverts a lot of the brainfunk and it has led to much improved hands that are also presentable in public.  If I do start picking during high pressure times it is at polish and nail art, not at skin; for male nail and/or cuticle pickers there are matte clearcoat polishes you can use to ritualize nailcare, if the filing isn't enough of a diversion. Sephora's glass nail files are cheap and surprisingly durable.
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Mar 17, 2011 15:54
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Snickering posted:Sometimes ADHD meds can cause weird things like chewing your lips and cheeks or clenching your jaw, I can attest to this. No matter which or how much medication I take, I always seem to unconsciously clench and unclench my jaw all day like some sort of horrible tooth-grinding kegel exercise. I've started chewing gum in an effort to harmlessly divert all that nervous energy, and while my teeth are probably suffering less, the headaches and tension haven't abated any. vvv I will have to try that, thanks. vvv Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Mar 17, 2011 |
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Mar 17, 2011 16:40
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Angry Diplomat posted:I can attest to this. No matter which or how much medication I take, I always seem to unconsciously clench and unclench my jaw all day like some sort of horrible tooth-grinding kegel exercise. I've started chewing gum in an effort to harmlessly divert all that nervous energy, and while my teeth are probably suffering less, the headaches and tension haven't abated any. If you sleep with your pillow under you neck, so that your head tilts down from your neck, you naturally don't clench your teeth when sleeping. Saves my jaw when I'm anxious.
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Mar 17, 2011 17:17
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Effexxor posted:I understand more about it than she does, but I make an effort to remember those little things because they're something I struggle with. Same thing happened with my dad. Every loving week, "When do you go to your piano lesson this week?" The exact same loving time I've been going to that piano lesson for 4 loving years dad: Thursday after school. Difference between you and me, however, is that my Dad will never admit he has ADHD, even though he definitely does, so he never had a lovely excuse to hurl out, but it still turned out the same way because he wasn't focusing on fixing little things like that. I love my Dad, but sometimes even I get frustrated at his ADHD tendencies.
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Mar 17, 2011 18:53
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| # ? May 27, 2024 22:07 |
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Effexxor posted:My mom wouldn't remember basic things I was doing in my life. One of our biggest fights happened when I was going to symphony practice, something I'd done every sunday for years, and she asked why I needed the car. I told her it was sunday and noon, but she had completely forgotten about it. I was crushed and mad because this was something that was a pretty big deal in my life. She's like that though, she'll remember cute things that her friends kids did or the color of the walls that the dentist who took out my wisdom teeth had (black) but could she ever remember when I was doing things, or who my boss was or anything about my life? Nope. She tries, but whenever I get mad about it, her response is always 'I have ADHD, it's not my fault'. I know she has ADHD. I understand more about it than she does, but I make an effort to remember those little things because they're something I struggle with. Same thing with my mom, except she was never diagnosed or medicated. She'd ask the same questions over and over despite giving her the same answer every time and sometimes forgot to do certain things like pick me up from school, or appointments. Until I was recently diagnosed, I always felt like she sometimes did those things on purpose because she didn't care about me or found me not important enough for her time. Even though we're living apart now, I try not to get mad at her on the phone or when I visit.
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Mar 17, 2011 20:37
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