- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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quote:
My boyfriend [21 M] and I [20 F] of 2.5 years took a bath together and it resulted in some aggression.
So my boyfriend and I took a bath together this morning around 10 am. It was nice and all but I had to get out to properly wash the shampoo out of my hair in the shower (the shower and bath are separate) so I got out. He got out soon after and we dried off, got dressed, and made French toast.
Everything was fine until about 2 when we both went back to the bathroom to tidy up for work. That was when we realized that no one had drained the tub, which requires sticking one's hand in the fairly deep water and pulling up the stopper. It's worth noting that at this point the water looked gross because all the soap and hair had floated to the top (I shaved my legs).
He told me to empty the tub but I didn't want to 'cause I thought it was gross so I told him to do it. He told me to toughen up and locked me in the bathroom until I did it. I told him I threw his loofa in the dirty water so he'd open the door to retrieve it and when he did I bolted. This led to several minutes of him grabbing me and grappling me, trying to pick me up and drag me into the bathtub of cold, dirty water. This is not the first time he's dumped me in the tub. It hurt! He was tugging on me and I just got nipple piercings two nights ago so all the grabbing hurt really bad. I ended up hitting him on the butt with a hairbrush until he stopped grabbing me, drained the tub and left me alone on the bathroom floor.
So my question is, is this normal? Who should have drained the tub? How do I recover from this? He's not like this often. Granted, we don't take baths together very often.
tl;dr: my boyfriend tried to throw me in the cold, dirty bathtub when I refused to drain it.
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Jan 10, 2017 21:46
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 05:00
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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eat the booty like a Swedish fish
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Jan 10, 2017 21:49
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- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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quote:
I [28 M] am in mutual love with my best friend's wife[33 F] and we don't know how to get over it
So, I've had feelings for my best friend's wife for a while. Mostly just a pretty big crush, but it grew into full blown, whole hearted love a few months ago. I knew that nothing could ever come from it, I mean she married to my best friend, and they are very happy together. She was one of my closest friends, and I was happy with that. And then, the day after Christmas, everything went to hell.
I was spending a few days at their house so that I could hang with them and their kids (I am their Godfather). I woke up far earlier than I normally do (sleeping in a bed that's not my own isn't fun), and went out into the living room. She was sitting on the couch because she is always up early and was waiting for muffins to finish baking. I sat down beside her, and we started talking. Nothing really important, just early morning chat. At one point, I lean in to platonically kiss her forehead (something I do with several of my friends, and they all know that there is no meaning behind it), and I get blindsided when she kisses me back, full on the lips. Still in shock, I return the kiss for a few seconds until I can think straight again, at which point I apologize, get up, and walk back to the guest room I was sleeping in.
We chat for a few minutes via text message (so that both of us can keep level heads), and she admits that she has been fighting romantic feelings for me that she realized she had at a party we attended in November. She had no clue that I felt how I did, and I had no idea she reciprocated my feelings. We both know that we can never be together. It would tear her family apart, ruin a good number of our friendships with other people, and absolutely destroy her husband (my best friend). We told ourselves that we would put this behind us and try to go back to the friendship that we had. But that hasn't been working.
We've been around each other almost constantly for the past 2 weeks due to plans that had been in place for a long while. We couldn't really avoid each other, even if we tried. And no matter how hard we've been trying, we haven't been able to get over this love. We haven't been able to prevent ourselves from sharing a kiss anytime we are alone, or holding hands when people aren't looking. Thank God we've been able to avoid having sex, otherwise everything would be worse.
She has admitted to me that she has never loved anyone as much as she does me, and I feel the same way. But that doesn't change the fact that we cannot be together. Neither one of us is willing to cause the damage that would result from that. The problem we're facing is how to move on and get past this. She's afraid that she will never be happy without me, and I don't know how I will ever find someone that I love as much as I do her. What can we do to put this love behind us and try to go back to a semblance of normalcy? How can she put me behind her and go back to being happy with her husband? Any help is greatly appreciated, but any "just go for it and be together" responses will be ignored. Thank you.
tl;dr: My best friends wife and I are madly in love, but can't hurt everyone by tearing her family apart. How can we move past this and go back to normal?
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Jan 10, 2017 21:50
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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what the hell
this is how siblings act
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Jan 10, 2017 21:51
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- Kurtofan
- Feb 16, 2011
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hon hon hon
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i dub thee tubgirl
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Jan 10, 2017 21:51
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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you coulda played guess the age there and I woulda gone for 5 and 6, easy
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Jan 10, 2017 21:53
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- Improbable Lobster
- Jan 6, 2012
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"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
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Buglord
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how did she sleep before knowing him
Contortionist
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Jan 10, 2017 21:53
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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cut off your dick i guess
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Jan 10, 2017 21:53
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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This is a subplot in Love, Actually.
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Jan 10, 2017 21:54
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- Ride The Gravitron
- May 2, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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Dude needs to go out and get laid
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Jan 10, 2017 21:55
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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How can you be that old and still think you can love someone you haven't actually dated/lived with.
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Jan 10, 2017 22:01
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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You think he's paying 44% taxes on a salary of $130k?
I just checked because it made me curious. After fed, SS, Medicare, health, dental, and 401k deductions, my checks are 67% of gross. If it weren't for 401k it would be 73%. And this is about right, i.e. I get a small return due to claiming mortgage interest but without that I'd be break even at tax time.
No state income tax where I live.
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Jan 10, 2017 22:08
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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I'm The Godfather, wanna be the stepfather, maybe give the kids a half brother.
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Jan 10, 2017 22:11
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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I do but the women know it's because I want to gently caress them.
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Jan 10, 2017 22:12
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- the bitcoin of weed
- Nov 1, 2014
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i like to take the lady's hand like I am going to kiss it, as a true gentleman would, and instead raspberry into the back of her palm
works every time
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Jan 10, 2017 22:25
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:I (27F) feel violated and trapped by my friend (25A)-DESPERATELY need advice!!!Non-Romantic
Hello r/relationships! Throwaway account here! Please let me know if this isn't the right place to post this. I will do my best to be as brief as I can. This is a very delicate situation (hence the throwaway) and I desperately need help.
I (27F) have a friend (25) who is agendered. They are biologically female but mentally identify with no gender and prefer the pronoun "they". For simplicity, let's call them Q. Q and I have been friends for a few years, and Q is not out to their parents and seems afraid to come out. Q also has severe depression and anxiety, the full extent of which I didn't know until recently.
Last month, I had to talk Q down when they were suicidal. About a week later, Q confessed that they are in love with me. Both events were pretty stressful, but I did my best to stay calm and take them both in stride. I cannot reciprocate Q's feelings because I am A) happily partnered and B) straight. Q is biologically female, so even if I was single that wouldn't work.
Last week, Q came to my house for a party, and everything pretty much exploded. Something triggered a depressive/anxiety attack in Q and I had to hold them while they sobbed hysterically for an hour. While that was happening, they revealed that they'd self harmed while in the bathroom (which explained the blood on the sink- I thought it was a flossing mishap of one of my roommates). Then, Q tried desperately to self harm again and I had to physically restrain them. They clawed my arm in the process.
Once Q was calmer, we resumed watching the movie that the rest of the party was watching. No matter where I sat, they kept climbing into my lap. If I tried to stand up, they would whimper "no!" and wrap their limbs tightly around me. Then, things got worse. Q started subtly kissing my neck and grabbing my breasts. I felt horribly trapped and violated- I felt like if I said or did anything they'd cut themselves again, so I sat there and let them grope me. They tried to find a way to stay the night, but my roommate took them home. If my roommate hadn't taken Q away I don't know what would've happened.
I feel sick inside. I feel like I got molested. I also know mental illnesses make people do things they wouldn't normally do, and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. In true woman-who-was-molested/assaulted fashion, I keep feeling like its my fault somehow because I'm a huggy person, even through I know I didn't ask for this. I also feel dumb because Q is tiny. Like, they could fold up to fit in a suitcase if they wanted to. I, on the other hand, am big and used to play rugby in college. How could I be so afraid of somebody who I could practically toss with one arm?
I have put distance between me and Q for the last week or so, but I feel like I can't cut ties completely. I think I'm their only friend, and considering their easy access to blades and sleeping pills, I'm afraid they'd kill themselves if I left. I wish I could talk to their family, but I can't do that without outing them as agender, which would be just as potentially harmful.
I feel completely stuck, violated, and scared. I still care about Q, but I am in WAY over my head and I don't know what to do next. HELP!
TL,DR: my friend Q is agender, suicidal, a self harmer, closeted, and in love with me. Q groped me after I had to physically restrain them to keep them from hurting themselves at a party and I felt like I had to just sit there and take it or they'd hurt themselves again. I am in way over my head and need help with this situation!!
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Jan 10, 2017 22:28
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- DLC Inc
- Jun 1, 2011
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lol @ "is this normal?" at this psycho locking her in the bathroom before dumping her into cold dirty water. "is this normal" what the gently caress do you think, genius
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Jan 10, 2017 22:29
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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This is probably some guy's fantasy. She will never be happy without him, even though she just realized her feelings for him? At what age do most people realize there is a difference between love and lust?
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Jan 10, 2017 22:41
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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At what age do most people realize there is a difference between love and lust?
never?
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Jan 10, 2017 22:43
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- Yawgmoth
- Sep 10, 2003
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This post is cursed!
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I'd say murder but really it would just be easier to let the crazy go crazy and let the problem solve itself.
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Jan 10, 2017 22:51
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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agender and invertebrate sound like a match made in heaven tbh
well, or hell
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Jan 10, 2017 22:58
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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I remember being friends with a girl who suffered from pretty severe mental health issues. Not as bad as Q here (who seems to be constantly on the verge of exploding into violence against themselves or others), but she was on edge a lot. Finally one July 4th, I took about half an hour too long to answer a text. She immediately sent a gigantic, incredibly long rant that culminated in her threatening suicide unless I responded to her.
I had already been strained by my attempts over the months of friendship to keep her from doing reckless and stupid things (she liked to walk around alone at night in bad areas, with the expectation that she could stab her way out of trouble), and this was the breaking point. I told her that as much as I loved her as a friend, keeping her mental health in check was too much of a burden on my life and I couldn't be expected to baby her. When she claimed to be downing pills, I had an immediate wellness check performed to confirm that she had just taken the rest of her medication and it made her loopy but wasn't dangerous. I told her that I was going to stop being friends with her until she got the help she needed.
I got a ton of poo poo from her friends about it, to the point of screaming phone calls at odd hours about how awful of a person I was; most of them had the exact same problems she did and took my decision as abandoning or even betraying her and driving a vulnerable girl to suicide.
In the end, it was the right decision. She did get the help that she needed and has become much more stable, to the point where she even got married recently. But I think that the important part for me was being able to decide that my own health and sanity shouldn't depend on another's. Keeping her irresponsible behavior in check and calming her down when she went ballistic was a constant stress on my life, and I had to make the decision to either sacrifice everything for her or do what was best for me.
In this case, the best thing the OP can do is break things off with Q and do their best to encourage them to get the help they need. The OP needs to decide if they or Q is the most important person in their life. Admittedly, it's a hard decision to make when the person starts threatening suicide or self-harm. You can make up for that by calling wellness checks (even just friends and family if you're afraid that the police will freak out and shoot them, which has been known to happen with mentally disturbed people in a vulnerable state) to mitigate any harm.
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Jan 10, 2017 22:59
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:My [24F] boyfriend [31M] of three years needs a major reality check as to what type of house we can reasonably afford. How do I get this across to him?Relationships
submitted 4 hours ago by homeseeking86
We’ve been together for three years, and, for the most part, they’ve been good. We are at the point of really wanting to be married and living together. Honestly, for me, I was ready at the two year point, so I know that my patience is probably a factor in the frustration I’m feeling at the moment too.
Well, I live with my parents and he lives with his mom as well here in west Texas. We are opposed to renting because it is relatively expensive compared to buying. We talked and agreed upon buying a house first, living together, and then getting married within the next one or two years. An actual engagement could happen at any time, but we agreed that it’d definitely happen this year.
I know that it is not wise to buy a home without being married first. My preference is for us to be married first anyways, but he’d like for us to have a place to at least enjoy our newlywed life, and I agree. And, like I mentioned earlier, we are opposed to renting, so we are looking to buy.
Now, here is our problem. His credit is not good, but mine is. We are currently in the process of rebuilding his credit. In the meantime, we are looking at owner financed homes and I am in touch with a mortgage officer to see what we can get based on my own income and credit. To me, this seems smart because I’m confident that I can get approved for a decent, but not extravagant, home, which will help us in the future when we decide to have kids and will have to get by on only his income for a short time.
So, this past weekend, we are driving around and he goes a little outside of city limits. I’m enjoying the time with him, so I don’t see the point of saying anything. Well, we find a nice house and get off to have a look. Not even five minutes later, the realtor pulls up and we find out that it’s actually an open house that day.
My boyfriend falls in love with the house. It’s $175,000. Just to give you an idea, we can easily find a cute home for $100k to $120k in town. That was my price point to keep things practical. Anyways, it literally checks off everything that is on his list, which I find to be expensive and unnecessary. For example, he wants to live outside city limits to avoid city taxes and regulations (he’s bumped heads with them for not having his yard clean, for example, because of his project cars). He wants a ton of space between us and the neighbors. And, he wants a house with enough land for him to build a shop where he can work on cars. To me, this is all unnecessary. Don’t want the city on your back? Then, keep your yard clean. Why does he need a shop while working full-time as a mechanic, anyways?
After typing this out, I feel bad, because I wish he could have all of these things. I know he wants his dream home, but it’s just not reasonable, especially given the timeline and his credit.
On the other hand, I just want a home in a good school district here in town. But, he literally likes none of those because there’s not enough space between houses and for a shop.
I love him, but I just can’t see how we can compromise on something that is so major and expensive. Any advice?
Also, our incomes… I make $32k, he makes $40k.
TL;DR: Boyfriend wants a home in the country with lots of space. These run at nearly twice the point of what, in my opinion, is reasonable for us, especially given our timeline, incomes, and his bad credit. How do I get him back to earth?
help my boyfriend time traveled here from 2007
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Jan 10, 2017 23:12
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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The garage isn't a bad idea. My cousin's husband pulls in over a grand a week doing side work at his home garage.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:15
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- Moridin920
- Nov 15, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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lol how do these people function irl just .....
like how hosed up is your life that you're honestly sitting there needing input from the internet on whether or not it is normal for your SO to lock you in the bathroom until you do what they want
e: fuckin cheap rear end houses
Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 23:18 on Jan 10, 2017
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Jan 10, 2017 23:16
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- Khorne
- May 1, 2002
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like how hosed up is your life that you're honestly sitting there needing input from the internet on whether or not it is normal for your SO to lock you in the bathroom until you do what they want
I got a far more playful vibe from that post. I dunno. Like, she got out of the bathroom by claiming to have thrown his loofah in and then running out. The entire thing sounds like they were smiling and laughing the entire time. Even "I hit him on the butt with the hairbrush until he stopped, he drained the tub, and he left me alone".
Well, throwing her in the tub seems wildly inappropriate. Especially with how she described it. The rest just seemed like playing around. Even how she phrased it is that way. But then she asks a question like is this normal? The post came across as incoherent due to the ambivalence she wrote it with.
I get where people are coming from though. It's abusive as gently caress to lock someone in the bathroom to force them to do something against their will, and the rest is inappropriate in an anger/force type of situation. I just find it hard to believe that after all of that her boyfriend would drain the tub and leave her alone over some brush smacks on the butt if he were being a horrific abuser trying to bend her to his will.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:23
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- Jeffrey of YOSPOS
- Dec 22, 2005
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I got a far more playful vibe from that post. I dunno. Like, she got out of the bathroom by claiming to have thrown his loofah in and then running out. The entire thing sounds like they were smiling and laughing the entire time. Even "I hit him on the butt with the hairbrush until he stopped, he drained the tub, and he left me alone".
Well, throwing her in the tub seems wildly inappropriate. Especially with how she described it. The rest just seemed like playing around. Even how she phrased it is that way. But then she asks a question like is this normal? The post came across as incoherent due to the ambivalence she wrote it with.
I get where people are coming from though. It's abusive as gently caress to lock someone in the bathroom to force them to do something against their will, and the rest is inappropriate in an anger/force type of situation. I just find it hard to believe that after all of that her boyfriend would drain the tub and leave her alone over some brush smacks on the butt if he were being an abusive jerk.
Yeah, this is honestly how I read it until nearer to the end. It seemed pretty playful most of the way through. I don't know how he locked her in the bathroom (That's....a creepy bathroom) but I gotta imagine it was jokingly. Like a stand in front of the door taunting playful sort of "locked her in", not a "move a bookshelf so she learns a thing or two about MY LOOFAH" sort of thing.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:26
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- Moridin920
- Nov 15, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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I see that interpretation but at the same time if it was that lighthearted would she be on Reddit asking about it? Mebbe I guess.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:28
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Also she did kinda start it by refusing to touch grody hair water she created. Either they're both overreacting freaks or they were being playful and she's over-analyzing it.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:29
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- Khorne
- May 1, 2002
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I see that interpretation but at the same time if it was that lighthearted would she be on Reddit asking about it? Mebbe I guess.
I think he took it too far at some point and that's why it is posted on Reddit? Like, everything after the loofah thing has potential to be "too far". At the same time, it's written from her perspective and even in her retelling of the story there's no indication it was taken too far beyond asking if this behavior is "normal".
She could probably get good advice from reddit anyway. Like "tell him to stop" and "explain to him that being thrown in the tub really hurts" and "if this was to be controlling or you are afraid to say those things then get the gently caress out of there as fast as possible".
Khorne fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Jan 10, 2017
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Jan 10, 2017 23:37
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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How did some of you goons even survive to loving adulthood if you can't deal with a little unexpected false imprisonment coupled with assault and battery?
Christ.
From her post, the only forms of protest against this man's actions she took was putting his loofa in the water, squirreling out of the bathroom and whacking him on the butt with a hairbrush.Did she even think to say "ow, Jesus, stop! My nipples are on fire," because she doesn't mention any verbal protests or like, I dunno, doing anything in particular while they spent a couple minutes wrasslin'.
It really sounds like dude just went overboard, doesn't realize how much stronger than her he is, misread how playful she was being and needs to apologize after OP actually informs him that she is unhappy with his actions.
From OP's word's, similar stuff has happened before and this time was notable because her nipples were sore and she got hurt when she was dumped in the tub (this time). HOW DO YOU NOT COMMUNICATE ABOUT THIS?
Mansdude needs to throttle his poo poo back, but he needs to be told about it so he can.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:48
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 05:00
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Considering how many people seriously injure themselves and even die from falling in tubs I think it's obviously inappropriate, what if she hit her head? Rough housing into something like a pool or lake or whatever sure if that's within boundaries in your relationship but a bathtub just seems dangerous.
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Jan 10, 2017 23:49
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