Is pooping still Popular?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Is pooping still Popular?

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

bradzilla posted:

You can get bidet attachments that just go under the toilet seat and comes with a splitter valve to redirect some of the water going to the tank. The first time you use it will definitely be a bit of a shock, I mean it takes a bit of pressure to blast out sticky poop chunks. After the first time it feels pretty fuckin good to blast your butthole with water after taking a fat poo poo. And yes, still keep TP around to wipe the water out and double check for any leftover. 95% of the time a single blast is all it takes to clean things up.

Get a loving bidet.

Seconding Get A loving Bidet

# ? Dec 31, 2020 01:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 19:53

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

bradzilla posted:

You can get bidet attachments that just go under the toilet seat and comes with a splitter valve to redirect some of the water going to the tank. The first time you use it will definitely be a bit of a shock, I mean it takes a bit of pressure to blast out sticky poop chunks. After the first time it feels pretty fuckin good to blast your butthole with water after taking a fat poo poo. And yes, still keep TP around to wipe the water out and double check for any leftover. 95% of the time a single blast is all it takes to clean things up.

Get a loving bidet.

I appreciate the response and the info. Do you have any specific recommendations?

# ? Dec 31, 2020 07:35

Super Nintendo 64: Feb 18, 2012

Currently honkin out a honnndoober of a tuber. Anyone else use fake turds to do practice reps in between poops?

Regarding the ongoing discussion of its popularity, anyone who says they don't poop is full of poo poo imho.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 08:04

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Man that doesn't poo, is full of poo poo

# ? Dec 31, 2020 08:05

vaginite: Feb 8, 2006; I'm comin' for you, colonel.

I read poo poo fortunes but my services aren�t that popular

# ? Dec 31, 2020 08:17

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

vaginite posted:

I read poo poo fortunes but my services aren’t that poopular

Ftfy

# ? Dec 31, 2020 08:22

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Not since congress passed the "free to poop act" which created a tax on pooping for poor and working peoples. A lot of the ultra rich are still into pooping.

I'm stuck in USA so dunno about EU or the East Asian Co-prosperity Sphere.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 10:24

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

I haven�t pooped since Sunday. :ohdear:

E:FINALLY.

Ugly In The Morning fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Dec 31, 2020

# ? Dec 31, 2020 11:52

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

The Fattest PI posted:

I appreciate the response and the info. Do you have any specific recommendations?

This is the one I got.

https://www.amazon.com/SlimEdge-Att...09446012&sr=8-4

# ? Dec 31, 2020 21:20

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

I ate some metamucil last night and took a poo poo this morning. It fell out of my rear end as if my rear end in a top hat was 2 feet wide.

# ? Jan 1, 2021 05:21

Big Scary Owl: Oct 1, 2014; by Fluffdaddy

It is 2021 here, is pooping still popular I wonder

# ? Jan 1, 2021 06:12

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

MakaVillian posted:

This is the one I got.

https://www.amazon.com/SlimEdge-Att...09446012&sr=8-4

Hey everyone just a little poop update (poopdate).
I bought a bidet, actually the one mentioned in this quote. I installed it and have used it.
It's definitely a bit startling at first but it certainly gets your rear end in a top hat clean.

As an example, you ever wake up kinda early and take a gnarly poo poo. Maybe you were drinking the day before or just eating poorly? You feel awful, take the gnarly poo poo, feel better, but you go back to bed feeling gross. The bidet solved that last part. Didn't feel nearly as gross climbing back into bed after taking a super gross poop.

Here's my bidet review for anyone curious about them or thinking about getting one:
There is a knob on the side of my toilet now and if you turn the knob left it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water. If you turn it right (feminine mode), it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water but also lightly buffets your balls with water. My girlfriend hasn't tried it yet so I can't comment on what it's like on a vagina as intended, but I'd guess it lightly rinses off a woman's pisser. When I say it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water I mean it really fuckin drills it. It gets harder the further you turn the knob so you can pick your own comfort zone. I tried the full power on my first use and holy gently caress. Full power is too much it kinda hurts. That was just to try though there's no reason why I'd go full power if I didn't want to so it's not a worry. Each time I've used it I've done a "just in case" wipe/drying and have never pulled up any brown. My rear end feels much cleaner now. I've recommended it to all my friends and invited them to poo poo in my en suite bathroom to try it once it's ok to hang out again. This is a big deal and a huge privilege because I don't let anyone use my en suite bathroom unless they're doing drugs, with me.

# ? Jan 7, 2021 08:07

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSSqMl3Jl2I

# ? Jan 7, 2021 09:21

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

The Fattest PI posted:

Hey everyone just a little poop update (poopdate).
I bought a bidet, actually the one mentioned in this quote. I installed it and have used it.
It's definitely a bit startling at first but it certainly gets your rear end in a top hat clean.

As an example, you ever wake up kinda early and take a gnarly poo poo. Maybe you were drinking the day before or just eating poorly? You feel awful, take the gnarly poo poo, feel better, but you go back to bed feeling gross. The bidet solved that last part. Didn't feel nearly as gross climbing back into bed after taking a super gross poop.

Here's my bidet review for anyone curious about them or thinking about getting one:
There is a knob on the side of my toilet now and if you turn the knob left it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water. If you turn it right (feminine mode), it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water but also lightly buffets your balls with water. My girlfriend hasn't tried it yet so I can't comment on what it's like on a vagina as intended, but I'd guess it lightly rinses off a woman's pisser. When I say it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water I mean it really fuckin drills it. It gets harder the further you turn the knob so you can pick your own comfort zone. I tried the full power on my first use and holy gently caress. Full power is too much it kinda hurts. That was just to try though there's no reason why I'd go full power if I didn't want to so it's not a worry. Each time I've used it I've done a "just in case" wipe/drying and have never pulled up any brown. My rear end feels much cleaner now. I've recommended it to all my friends and invited them to poo poo in my en suite bathroom to try it once it's ok to hang out again. This is a big deal and a huge privilege because I don't let anyone use my en suite bathroom unless they're doing drugs, with me.

Once you get used to it more gradually work up to full blast. Makes quick work of those tarry hangover shits.

# ? Jan 7, 2021 14:22

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

The Fattest PI posted:

Hey everyone just a little poop update (poopdate).
I bought a bidet, actually the one mentioned in this quote. I installed it and have used it.
It's definitely a bit startling at first but it certainly gets your rear end in a top hat clean.

As an example, you ever wake up kinda early and take a gnarly poo poo. Maybe you were drinking the day before or just eating poorly? You feel awful, take the gnarly poo poo, feel better, but you go back to bed feeling gross. The bidet solved that last part. Didn't feel nearly as gross climbing back into bed after taking a super gross poop.

Here's my bidet review for anyone curious about them or thinking about getting one:
There is a knob on the side of my toilet now and if you turn the knob left it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water. If you turn it right (feminine mode), it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water but also lightly buffets your balls with water. My girlfriend hasn't tried it yet so I can't comment on what it's like on a vagina as intended, but I'd guess it lightly rinses off a woman's pisser. When I say it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water I mean it really fuckin drills it. It gets harder the further you turn the knob so you can pick your own comfort zone. I tried the full power on my first use and holy gently caress. Full power is too much it kinda hurts. That was just to try though there's no reason why I'd go full power if I didn't want to so it's not a worry. Each time I've used it I've done a "just in case" wipe/drying and have never pulled up any brown. My rear end feels much cleaner now. I've recommended it to all my friends and invited them to poo poo in my en suite bathroom to try it once it's ok to hang out again. This is a big deal and a huge privilege because I don't let anyone use my en suite bathroom unless they're doing drugs, with me.

Welcome to the club friend

# ? Jan 7, 2021 15:56

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

I know this is a dumb joke thread but still I appreciate your input. It's not often that dumb internet forum contributes to a quality of life increase for me.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 02:46

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

MakaVillian posted:

This is the one I got.

https://www.amazon.com/SlimEdge-Att...09446012&sr=8-4

I gotta admit, $30 is so cheap that I'm tempted. However, I spent hours yesterday fighting with my plumbing and I was reminded how cold the water in my pipes is right now. I don't think I would enjoy an ice cold blast of water into my rear end in a top hat.

I see that there are options that include temperature controls but the hot water in my bathroom isn't easy to get to the toilet.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 04:02

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 04:04

Julius CSAR: Oct 3, 2007; by sebmojo

Hell yeah dude I�m doing it right now

# ? Jan 8, 2021 04:29

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

making GBS threads owns. :shrek:

# ? Jan 8, 2021 04:48

git apologist: Jun 4, 2003

a coupar of nights ago we had a grated carrot and beetroot salad with dinner and ever since my shits have been kinda sharty and red like i have an rear end period

pretty cool, give it a try

# ? Jan 8, 2021 07:33

GAYIDS: May 3, 2020; by Pragmatica

I poop crap out my butt

# ? Jan 8, 2021 08:07

ShortyMR.CAT: Sep 25, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

All pooped out op

# ? Jan 8, 2021 09:58

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER: Nov 11, 2020; H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R

h�morrhoids ruined the party. again

# ? Jan 8, 2021 10:32

Mooey Cow: Jan 27, 2018; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Pillbug

I've just recieved word that the bill passed unanimously. Pooping is now outlawed and a capital offence :gonk:

# ? Jan 8, 2021 12:47

Cheesus: Oct 17, 2002; Let us retract the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wirebrush of enlightenment.; Yam Slacker

Don't you mean "crapital offense"?

# ? Jan 8, 2021 13:19

Julius CSAR: Oct 3, 2007; by sebmojo

I�m making GBS threads again right now

# ? Jan 8, 2021 14:41

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Tip posted:

I gotta admit, $30 is so cheap that I'm tempted. However, I spent hours yesterday fighting with my plumbing and I was reminded how cold the water in my pipes is right now. I don't think I would enjoy an ice cold blast of water into my rear end in a top hat.

I see that there are options that include temperature controls but the hot water in my bathroom isn't easy to get to the toilet.

You get used to it. I find it refreshing after a hot steamy dump.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 14:49

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

Yeah the cold water is honestly not an issue at all. I don't know if I want my toilet firing a hot wet load at my rear end in a top hat anyways.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 19:21

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

poop edging is still super popular OP, ive been edging one for a while now feelsgoodman

# ? Jan 8, 2021 19:30

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Do it ironically posted:

poop edging is still super popular OP, ive been edging one for a while now feelsgoodman

Ah, the most dangerous game.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 19:33

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

i just EXPLODED all over the bowl

# ? Jan 8, 2021 19:59

blainestereo: Jan 16, 2013

I <3 poop

# ? Jan 8, 2021 20:07

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

The Fattest PI posted:

Hey everyone just a little poop update (poopdate).
I bought a bidet, actually the one mentioned in this quote. I installed it and have used it.
It's definitely a bit startling at first but it certainly gets your rear end in a top hat clean.

As an example, you ever wake up kinda early and take a gnarly poo poo. Maybe you were drinking the day before or just eating poorly? You feel awful, take the gnarly poo poo, feel better, but you go back to bed feeling gross. The bidet solved that last part. Didn't feel nearly as gross climbing back into bed after taking a super gross poop.

Here's my bidet review for anyone curious about them or thinking about getting one:
There is a knob on the side of my toilet now and if you turn the knob left it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water. If you turn it right (feminine mode), it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water but also lightly buffets your balls with water. My girlfriend hasn't tried it yet so I can't comment on what it's like on a vagina as intended, but I'd guess it lightly rinses off a woman's pisser. When I say it shoots your rear end in a top hat with water I mean it really fuckin drills it. It gets harder the further you turn the knob so you can pick your own comfort zone. I tried the full power on my first use and holy gently caress. Full power is too much it kinda hurts. That was just to try though there's no reason why I'd go full power if I didn't want to so it's not a worry. Each time I've used it I've done a "just in case" wipe/drying and have never pulled up any brown. My rear end feels much cleaner now. I've recommended it to all my friends and invited them to poo poo in my en suite bathroom to try it once it's ok to hang out again. This is a big deal and a huge privilege because I don't let anyone use my en suite bathroom unless they're doing drugs, with me.

A bidet is wonderful on a normal day, a loving godsend on a day where you have diarrhea and have to visit the bathroom 5 times. No more raw bloody rear end in a top hat from wiping 100 times.

# ? Jan 8, 2021 20:09