GBS feedback thread Mk. 3: at this point we're all just owning ourselves

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GBS feedback thread Mk. 3: at this point we're all just owning ourselves

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Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Literally A Person posted:

THAT WAS A SCARY MORNING PICTURE! I'M HANDSOME DAMNIT!!!

Lol.. you were but you look like a corn cob face birth to that previous av face.. but handsome

Wendigee fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Aug 3, 2023

# ? Aug 3, 2023 01:41

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 11:11

FirstnameLastname: Jul 10, 2022

death cob for cutie posted:

the emoticons are new, think he's trying to break up the text visually a bit

i wanted people to actually see what i was saying and to hopefully not skim over it or think that they understand, because people will think they do, and then stop paying attention, and then it's even harder to get them to understand that there is more to it they're not getting
ill do it again

also i just thought it was funny stylistically when i wrote my first real attempt to honestly explain what i am like and what my life is like to others and to try to humanize myself while sharing very bizarre truths

when u are someone who exists in a way that has very little overlap with most people's existence, anything you tend to mention involving that will be

ignored
misunderstood
assumed to be incorrect, exaggeration, lying
come off as irritating to /most/ people who have not shared similar experiences - the vast, vast majority of people who've ever accepted things about me without going 'wtf' or making me feel bad about it one way or another have always been people who are themselves very different from the norms, either neurologically or culturally or socioeconomically. I'm not saying everyone's evil, that's another common misinterpretation used to handwave away the concerns of people with disabilities: the bitter burnt out person who's overgeneralizing amd pessimistic and mad at people who didn't do anything to them. I'm not saying everyone's mean, some are but most people do not know how to be kind right, or what towards. Some of the most hurtful and harmful stuff I've been through has been "for my own good" by people who cared about me and thought they were helping. They weren't thinking of me as a human being, but thought they were helping
People will not understand they can hurt people or reinforce systemic oppression and marginalization while being a legitimately kind-hearted person with no intentions of doing things like that, and without noticing you are hurting things.
That's mostly why it happens - it's invisible to most of you. it doesn't happen because people hate people with disabilities, its because people do not know what they're doing. But It Still Happens. You don't understand how drastically removed one life experience can be from another's, or what something mean for them, that is different for you.
People don't like to acknowledge that. It's automatic and if you think you don't do it you're wrong. People who have the privilege to ignore realities outside their own like to think that their existence is the normal one and the right one, the default one, that they're doing something right, and that the world they know is fair to others because it has beem fair to them, because that's like a nice warm blanket around you that gives a sense of value and intrinsic meaning.
People think that living the better understood, more common, more familiar experience means it's the correct, or better one, and that it means they're doing something right, or that people who live or describe a different experience are doing something wrong, or are a problem.
This is because validating the other as valid means removing the exceptionalism from your own perspective: people dont like to do that, especially not for an experience they see as inferior, which they do, or they wouldn't see their own as exceptional - which they do

furthermore:

That automatic assumption that stuff you don't recognize or have an experienced yourself must not be valid, or that my raising a concern is immediately a problem, because the things that affect me don't affect you, but my complaining does, or that it means the way i feel is somehow deserved and my rocking the boat is what is really annoying comes off exactly like people saying "well racism would be over black people quit bringing it up!!" - yes, over for the people who don't have to deal with it, that had always been the case.
if people were going to just start treating people with disabilities better on their own, without stuff like this being said, they would.
they won't because they don't understand how to do that. they don't understand how to do that because they don't understand disabilities because they don't ever have to.
i know, even with this site being more educated and inclusive on average, most people reading this have no idea what autism is outside of memes and poo poo unless they're autistic or have close family or friends who are.
Most people on here probably still have a mental image that autism makes you look and act like a Moderator. lots of people don't get that people with autism have emotions just like everybody else, they just don't express them the same way outwardly. lots of people think autism means you're a manchild, or some descartean simulacrum markov chatbot that's approximating humanity.
there's a lot of people who think that autistic people lack loving object permanence. like a baby where you put keys on their head and they're not able to understand the keys still exist. ADHD and OCD are things people are "so" or "a little" because they keep their bedding neat or lose their keys,
people know what they're called but don't know what they are. there aren't really many positive or humanizing representations of autistic people, ADHD people, people with downs, people with cerebral palsy. We are not represented, not understood, are alienated and ignored and avoided.
This is truth.
people don't want to know or think about it.
People do not want to consider that they might not really think of or treat people with disabilities very well as-it-is. That they might need to reexamine how they look at and think of people. Too much cognitive dissonance with all the good work they've done telling people to not say retard.
i am hoping that if i can communicate some of these things that actually impact me and that i see impacting others, that it might lead to them happening less. I'm hoping people who want to help will listen and try to understand that you don't have to find and point out the problems, they have been found by the people they have hurt.
what needs to happen is people need to listen to the people trying to bring attention to them, to read or listen about stuff like autism and ADHD epilepsy and dyslexia and schizotypal/affective disorders just a little bit from people who live with them
I'm serious if everyone spent aybe 30 minutes reading or listening to autistic people about why it can be hard to do things like socialize, instead of assuming that we're just too fuckin dumb to get it, that would be a game changer lol.
it'll probably never loving happen
people don't understand
people don't think there's anything to understand
people think if there is, it doesn't matter
people do that while thinking that they care. if you care then it can't not matter. if it doesn't matter you don't care stop pretending or start caring
I have to explain all these things
i am here and i have before and i will again
i have become exceedingly efficient at it
because nobody tries to learn about these things unless they have to and they never have to because conformity is expected, not acceptance, tolerance, of understanding. That is to say, the party that has difficulties with navigating social conventions and has a hard time being flexible about things has to be the flexible one, every time.
It is not accepted or understood that the weird way I do stuff and people like me do stuff is just as valid and mostly works just as well to do things, there's a consistent logic to it, it's not dysfunctional, it's just different - it's not tolerated by society tho. noone will meet halfway, people don't offer, and the only times it's really acceptable to ask or when there's a federal or state law mandating that I can
Even if it's nothing that requires anyone else's help or time or resources, simply different is often enough to be worth targeting for ridicule or fought against by people who 'dont want it around /not their problem/etc'
every person who has been discriminated against for anything can understand that one
if pretty much everyone irl has treated anything about me i couldn't and didn't literally hide from them like this, and im 33 yo im younger than the avg on here, odds are nearly everyone here has some hosed up attitudes towards disability & nonconformity and variance they could probably work on
People don't understand these kinds of things, or that difference is not necessarily a deficiency, and deficiency isn't necessarily bad.They should, they're not that hard to understand, maybe hard to imagine what it's like, but not to understand how to interact.
This is connected to the rest of the stuff I've been saying about expectations of conformity, you motherfuckers(endearingly) do not know how much people already do conform and accept and assimilate and tolerate, so that you, and not us, can have things be familiar to you because ---people don't *want* to understand things that aren't familiar to them, people want them to conform--- and conformity is not diversity or acceptance or inclusiveness or tolerance of empathy or anything good by itself. its just paving poo poo over to pave it over. a well known piece of poetry by another person known for being right: tupac shakur
you know you will get pushback and little support so you want to hit the ground with a strong enough point established that people can't throw lazy arguments at it

it creates a kind of 'best not miss' pressure to get a point across the first time you try to make it because you usually don't get another, people don't want to read multiple posts, or one big post. they do not really care. i am right :hehe:

this website's depictions of autism when i started posting here at 14 were the first thing thing that made me go "...do i have this?", while seeing the people who did just being mocked like ruthlessly immediately followed by "nope! im not a fedorite neckbeard, don't really watch anime, not obsessed with trains. i only liked sonic the hedgehog from age 3 to 8 or so, and therefore: not autism. autistic people sure got good taste in videogames tho and golly i love patterns. i bet everyone has such a hard time with eye contact

'"

I have hated myself and felt like an alien and bad person from a lack of understanding about and internalized denial towards autism that i first developed from the way it would be portrayed -here- at 14 years old. i really didn't want to be the 'self diagnosed autistic goon who just has social anxiety they don't want to face'. that's what autism looked like to me, that's what i didn't want to be, and that's why i refused to consider it as a potential possibility for about 20 years. this has lead to so many difficulties in my life.

People blame you for problems with no diagnosis or explanation. They do either way, but without a diagnosis people act like everything that you might do that's different is intentional or because you're just bad in some medically illegitimate way. without a diagnosis you have no support or patience, you do not get the benefit of the doubt.
i would obsessively mask any autistic traits, i thought they were broken things about me. i have trained myself to ignore just about every signal from my body, to seem normal. would white knuckle and klonopin-soak the sensory irritation from sunlight and sound and touch until id snap, break down.

i never once looked into the symptoms or subjective experience to see if it resembled mine, i just looked at the diagnostic criteria and tried to not be that. because didn't wanna be neckbeard. i spent my teenage & most of my adult years trying to willpower away weird wiggles n poo poo or echolalia. i worried i had latent schizophrenia or schizotypal stuff from that and the way I'll write things out and have to read them to fully understand them or feel them myself - things have difficulty getting between one half of my brain to the other, i have weird stuff related to my corpus callosum, i think? and that allows me to kind of bypass the problem. it's what it feels like, and works.
that's weird as gently caress to do and not know why for that long

sa has come a long way from how it was: reading some actual info about autism on here is what broke through the denial and got me to consider i might actually have it and that it's not bad or something, idk. anyways, i like this website and the people on it and i genuinely think people just don't know what they're doing that causes damage

Grey Cat posted:

I'll chime in, it was 5 times, not 3, but yes I don't know why trying to shove someone about it who clearly said they don't want to hear it should be okay. I think if they wanted to talk about it, it should have been in the thread where it was being discussed, not singling someone out to rant about it (days later). I think that's the bigger issue here than the substance.

i didn't know that several days had passed between July 31st and August 1st

you didn't clearly say anything
i decided to pm it to you instead of post it because people do not like that i write posts with a lot of words, i will pm people. i like to talk to people and have spent time thinking about this i thought i had some good points, and i still do, as i was right. i will post the post now

quote:

FirstnameLastname wrote on Aug 1, 2023 13:03:

Grey Cat posted:
"it's not a slur where I live therefor it's not a slur anywhere"
Alright

i get the positive intention from what you're saying here, and this post is kind of a devils advocate thing since it's not a word that i use or that affects me and i don't want to be a hypocrite telling people how they should feel about words that emotionally impact them

but it's worth considering how much of your stance here is legitimately how you feel about that word and how you've seen it used or are thinking it would be, and how much is the same statement you're mocking here, but inverted, "it's a slur where i live, therefore it's a slur everywhere" and if that's creating a distorted 'this is common sense, everyone should be able to see this?' kind of illusion of the decision being an obvious and simple moral one for everyone, when it might not be

if someone has grown up calling things mates n cunts n wotnot guv, using it in ways where that word's treated without harmful or offensive meaning, it can make it harder for some people to communicate things by being expected to not ever say it and have to be on guard to not anything slip out on accident because they'll get punished for it. that's actually kinda difficult to do when it's a regular-rear end word you've used your whole life. how much added difficulty to the already British is necessary to add for the sake of familiarity & comfort of us posters who aren't from the foot&mouth bog or dingo poison place?

that's the scenario you're on the other side of right here & you probably haven't been in one like it or considered how much actual difficulty that it could add, but its not some strawman thing. I'm emphasizing this because if you've never experienced this dilemma it is hard to accept as real - imagine if someone from another country took an arbitrary word from the vocabulary you grew up with, they said it's bad for them so it is now for you too, and to deal with it. but then it's not that outside of that spot, it would probably make communicating feel kind of clunky under the best of conditions, ya?

ofc people can always substitute words, but every single substitution and translation is another layer of complication and abstraction added to what you are trying to express. everyone here is already doing this to different degrees. You're probably thinking "where is the fuckin point here, it's one word" im gettin' to it: check out how those weirdos talk in their threads, the dialect is quite different for some of em, it's almost a different language. those posters are already going through the effort when outside of their favela threads to communicate in ways that regular non-br&&&&h do. they're already changing their syntax, swapping out nouns and verbs, they're changing quite a few words, they're already accommodating to u.s. english standards without being required to or even asked, while we don't have to learn or tolerate their objectively inferior way of speaking at all - it's already kinda unfair to them even without enforcing american cusser's law

if someone's already doing all that automatically depending on the thread they're posting on, and they slip up in another thread and end a sentence with 'ay, good on the mad oval office, up the 'ra ', because it's just how they talk, is it fair to take offense to that in itself, and treat it like a problem? Are u.s. and formal/upper class english linguistic standards the cornerstone of moral behavior? At what point is it just 'act like me, i don't want to deal with stuff that won't', and is reaching that that point truly less of a problem than some goon who talks like Shrek sayin "macdowell, ye fkn oval office ov a ladd oi luv ye"?

now, complicate it with someone whose esl and/or an immigrant there, who already feels pressured to speak more like their coworkers than they already do, or someone who has a tbi/learning/neurological disorder with symptoms like dyslexia or aphasia that makes it more difficult to do things like juggle vocabulary around, and worst of all, STILL suffers from britishness. consider how much added difficulty it could add to communicating for them, if they're already having to translate things into English, and then into American English. and also make sure to censor themselves. All extremely plausible hypotheticals.

At what point then, is it hosed up to make someone change instead of tolerating difference? IMO, its when it's unnecessary. Requiring people change stuff they do, when it doesn't cause actual problems on its own, is unnecessary to me.

but for real, consider yourself how much things like that actually matter, or that you feel they should be allowed to matter. Consider how far you are willing to go to accommodate or tolerate others perspectives and behaviors and how that's supposed to be weighed against expectations of conformity to your own personally learned cultural norms - that's what's actually happening in these kind of disagreements, more than anything else.
That word in particular, since it's just straight up not a bad word there, but whlle F*nny is their oval office, they're not demanding people say cuntpack instesd of f*nnypack.

tldr

Things like this are just not being recognized for what they are, on this site or irl, which is that majority perspectives and opinions are generally treated as the default and all others as being deviant from them.

That is a cognitive illusion built from familiarity, it is not actually real, it has no added validity when in opposition to any other perspective. Only familiarity and numeric advantage, and if either of those are what matters morally, or socioculturally/behaviorally, there's no real argument against fully conforming to lower -middle class Han Chinese culture if you think about it, and i don't think they've got it all figured out

Separate, but visually or syntactically congruent terms, concepts, and uses of language can and do happen and exist ,with their own independent meaning, and at the same time, sometimes without one tiny speck of their meaning necessarily relating to any of the meaning that you may recognize or be familiar with, yourself.
It does not mean it is any less valid or real than the meaning you know, nor that it is necessarily problematic, it is only unfamiliar to you

I don't like when people misrepresent things, nor when they play victim because they were sent a polite and i think quite cognizant point - you seem like a bad person if what i posited is objectionable enough to say it's on some other poo poo

dont say I sent no 540 Slur Rant and w/e, the way this is repeatedly misrepresented and mischaracterized by you doesn't make sense to me, I don't like being mischaracterized. i don't go on rants, and tbh, you rub me off like all the people who have respected me the least in life, ive never said that to anyone before but it's true in this case

I will not contact you again, don't worry

Kchama posted:

I'm reminded how the white hand/Sedanchair apparently would constantly send people deranged PMs until he was finally perma'd over it. He sent me some over the fact that he was too cowardly to reply to a question I asked him in D&D, lol, and ended the chain with (in response to me asking why doesn't he just reply to me in D&D if he could own me so hard in response to my question), quote, "No thanks bitch. Never forget you're not worth it."

sedanchair was awful and came across as a wicked person to me, i remember yelling abt those psychoass pms, he gave me McVeigh vibes. i simply like to post and it does not take much time, that pm there about 10-15 min maybe. i care about this stuff but it's like, about the principle of it, not bc I'm mad af anyone it's just true
i didn't pm the other poster btw, idk what that was

teemolover42069 posted:

I'm sorry to keep bringing this up, I know the conversation is over. I don't mean to annoy anyone. But I have more to say about this.

I had a crab rangoon pizza recently that was really good.

i see what you're doing here

i tend to say those things a lot! i know rifht?

especially in some recent PMs, not to you�? kinda rude... hm, well i pmed grey cat smth w something like that about right when u posted it

know why I'll buffer things i say with stupid little conflict avoidancey things like that? it's bc even when i have a lot to say and really no reason to be reserved, i apologize to everyone i speak to! because

i am

kinda

traumatized

people

they have done

tremendous

harm

for

reason

and in more

ways

than i would

ever

mention

but one is

ppl

mocking

behind:) my

back

for my broken, Retard brain, instead of saying something

if theyve got

a bone

in :) their :) throats :)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:00

teemolover42069: Apr 6, 2023; by Fluffdaddy

FirstnameLastname posted:

i see what you're doing here i tend to say those things a lot! i know rifht?
especially in some recent PMs, not to you�? kinda rude... hm, well i pmed grey cat smth w something like that about right when u posted it

know why I'll buffer things i say with stupid little conflict avoidancey things like that? it's bc even when i have a lot to say and really no reason to be reserved, i apologize to everyone i speak to! because i am kinda traumatized by people
they have done tremendous harm to me for no reason and in more ways than i would ever like to mention but one is by ppl mocking me behind:) my back for my broken, Retard brain, instead of saying something if theyve got a bone in their throats :)

I didn't read the rest of your post. I don't know what you think I'm doing here, I was making a joke about myself because I feel like people are tired of me talking about slurs, it was nothing to do with you and I have no idea what you're talking about. I have not talked about you behind your back to anyone. the only time I have spoken of you in any way was here, in this thread. absolutely nowhere else whatsoever. hope this helps.

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:03

FirstnameLastname: Jul 10, 2022

as one does

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:06

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

jfc

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:07

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

I for one am shocked that fnln is the one sending long-winded word salad slur-filled pms.

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:09

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

freaks and weirdos...

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:09

teemolover42069: Apr 6, 2023; by Fluffdaddy

I didn't want to assume that the guy who routinely posts 5000 word screeds about why it's fine for him to use slurs was the one sending pms filled with slurs to people. woulda felt like profiling.

FirstnameLastname posted:

sedanchair was awful and came across as a wicked person to me, i remember yelling abt those psychoass pms, he gave me McVeigh vibes. i simply like to post and it does not take much time, that pm there about 10-15

someone else gave YOU 'mcveigh vibes'?

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:10

Toxic Mental: Jun 1, 2019

This has to be a bit, right

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:10

Dandywalken: Feb 11, 2014

I don't see how this is going to end well, but I am glad we all can share a mutual distaste for the British.

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:11

Toxic Mental: Jun 1, 2019

FNLN you should consider a self-imposed probe for a week or something because you shouldn't be this wrapped up in web 1.0 entertainment forum happenings

This is a place for making funnies and laughing at pants making GBS threads

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:11

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Dandywalken posted:

I don't see how this is going to end well, but I am glad we all can share a mutual distaste for the British.

Tea swilling layabouts

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:12

emSparkly: Nov 21, 2022; I'm open to interpretation!

Hey guys I haven't stepped in the feedback thread in a bit. How's it goi-

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:13

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Thread's right back on track for some self pwnage and I am here for it

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:13

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

emSparkly posted:

Hey guys I haven't stepped in the feedback thread in a bit. How's it goi-

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:14

emSparkly: Nov 21, 2022; I'm open to interpretation!

You know what, I'll just give my own final opinion on the slur saga.

Slurs make you look like a dick. Don't use them. Some people wanna reclaim those slurs that are used against them. That's fine.
This is the only site I've ever really seen where people get banned/laughed out of the room for being unfunny 4chan level bigots, so I decided to stick around. The current policies seem to be doing OK.

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:22

teemolover42069: Apr 6, 2023; by Fluffdaddy

FirstnameLastname posted:

I don't like being mischaracterized. i don't go on rants, and tbh, you rub me off like all the people who have respected me the least in life, ive never said that to anyone before but it's true in this case

i can't bring myself to read this whole post, but bits of it keep popping out at me

buddy,

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:22

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

What in the gently caress

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:33

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ￣ ³￣)づ♥(‘∀’●)

GBS feedback thread functioning as intended

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:33

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Anybody read the whole thing yet who can tldr for us what the serious GBS feedbacker wrote

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:36

Perfect Potato: Mar 4, 2009

Maybe nom epique should stop posting apple more like crapple and biden bad and start making 90% of their posts be barely intelligible gigantic screeds instead. It seems to offer a lot more leeway for some reason

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:46

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

FirstnameLastname posted:

i wanted people to actually see what i was saying and to hopefully not skim over it or think that they understand, because people will think they do, and then stop paying attention, and then it's even harder to get them to understand that there is more to it they're not getting
ill do it again

also i just thought it was funny stylistically when i wrote my first real attempt to honestly explain what i am like and what my life is like to others and to try to humanize myself while sharing very bizarre truths

when u are someone who exists in a way that has very little overlap with most people's existence, anything you tend to mention involving that will be

ignored

misunderstood

assumed to be incorrect, exaggeration, lying

come off as irritating to /most/ people who have not shared similar experiences - the vast, vast majority of people who've ever accepted things about me without going 'wtf' or making me feel bad about it one way or another have always been people who are themselves very different from the norms, either neurologically or culturally or socioeconomically. I'm not saying everyone's evil, that's another common misinterpretation used to handwave away the concerns of people with disabilities: the bitter burnt out person who's overgeneralizing amd pessimistic and mad at people who didn't do anything to them. I'm not saying everyone's mean, some are but most people do not know how to be kind right, or what towards. Some of the most hurtful and harmful stuff I've been through has been "for my own good" by people who cared about me and thought they were helping. They weren't thinking of me as a human being, but thought they were helping

People will not understand they can hurt people or reinforce systemic oppression and marginalization while being a legitimately kind-hearted person with no intentions of doing things like that, and without noticing you are hurting things.

That's mostly why it happens - it's invisible to most of you. it doesn't happen because people hate people with disabilities, its because people do not know what they're doing. But It Still Happens. You don't understand how drastically removed one life experience can be from another's, or what something mean for them, that is different for you.

People don't like to acknowledge that. It's automatic and if you think you don't do it you're wrong. People who have the privilege to ignore realities outside their own like to think that their existence is the normal one and the right one, the default one, that they're doing something right, and that the world they know is fair to others because it has beem fair to them, because that's like a nice warm blanket around you that gives a sense of value and intrinsic meaning.

People think that living the better understood, more common, more familiar experience means it's the correct, or better one, and that it means they're doing something right, or that people who live or describe a different experience are doing something wrong, or are a problem.

This is because validating the other as valid means removing the exceptionalism from your own perspective: people dont like to do that, especially not for an experience they see as inferior, which they do, or they wouldn't see their own as exceptional - which they do

furthermore:

That automatic assumption that stuff you don't recognize or have an experienced yourself must not be valid, or that my raising a concern is immediately a problem, because the things that affect me don't affect you, but my complaining does, or that it means the way i feel is somehow deserved and my rocking the boat is what is really annoying comes off exactly like people saying "well racism would be over black people quit bringing it up!!" - yes, over for the people who don't have to deal with it, that had always been the case.

if people were going to just start treating people with disabilities better on their own, without stuff like this being said, they would.

they won't because they don't understand how to do that. they don't understand how to do that because they don't understand disabilities because they don't ever have to.

i know, even with this site being more educated and inclusive on average, most people reading this have no idea what autism is outside of memes and poo poo unless they're autistic or have close family or friends who are.

Most people on here probably still have a mental image that autism makes you look and act like a Moderator. lots of people don't get that people with autism have emotions just like everybody else, they just don't express them the same way outwardly. lots of people think autism means you're a manchild, or some descartean simulacrum markov chatbot that's approximating humanity.

there's a lot of people who think that autistic people lack loving object permanence. like a baby where you put keys on their head and they're not able to understand the keys still exist. ADHD and OCD are things people are "so" or "a little" because they keep their bedding neat or lose their keys,

people know what they're called but don't know what they are. there aren't really many positive or humanizing representations of autistic people, ADHD people, people with downs, people with cerebral palsy. We are not represented, not understood, are alienated and ignored and avoided.

This is truth.

people don't want to know or think about it.

People do not want to consider that they might not really think of or treat people with disabilities very well as-it-is. That they might need to reexamine how they look at and think of people. Too much cognitive dissonance with all the good work they've done telling people to not say retard.

i am hoping that if i can communicate some of these things that actually impact me and that i see impacting others, that it might lead to them happening less. I'm hoping people who want to help will listen and try to understand that you don't have to find and point out the problems, they have been found by the people they have hurt.

what needs to happen is people need to listen to the people trying to bring attention to them, to read or listen about stuff like autism and ADHD epilepsy and dyslexia and schizotypal/affective disorders just a little bit from people who live with them

I'm serious if everyone spent aybe 30 minutes reading or listening to autistic people about why it can be hard to do things like socialize, instead of assuming that we're just too fuckin dumb to get it, that would be a game changer lol.

it'll probably never loving happen

people don't understand

people don't think there's anything to understand

people think if there is, it doesn't matter

people do that while thinking that they care. if you care then it can't not matter. if it doesn't matter you don't care stop pretending or start caring

I have to explain all these things

i am here and i have before and i will again

i have become exceedingly efficient at it

because nobody tries to learn about these things unless they have to and they never have to because conformity is expected, not acceptance, tolerance, of understanding. That is to say, the party that has difficulties with navigating social conventions and has a hard time being flexible about things has to be the flexible one, every time.

It is not accepted or understood that the weird way I do stuff and people like me do stuff is just as valid and mostly works just as well to do things, there's a consistent logic to it, it's not dysfunctional, it's just different - it's not tolerated by society tho. noone will meet halfway, people don't offer, and the only times it's really acceptable to ask or when there's a federal or state law mandating that I can

Even if it's nothing that requires anyone else's help or time or resources, simply different is often enough to be worth targeting for ridicule or fought against by people who 'dont want it around /not their problem/etc'

every person who has been discriminated against for anything can understand that one

if pretty much everyone irl has treated anything about me i couldn't and didn't literally hide from them like this, and im 33 yo im younger than the avg on here, odds are nearly everyone here has some hosed up attitudes towards disability & nonconformity and variance they could probably work on

People don't understand these kinds of things, or that difference is not necessarily a deficiency, and deficiency isn't necessarily bad.They should, they're not that hard to understand, maybe hard to imagine what it's like, but not to understand how to interact.

This is connected to the rest of the stuff I've been saying about expectations of conformity, you motherfuckers(endearingly) do not know how much people already do conform and accept and assimilate and tolerate, so that you, and not us, can have things be familiar to you because ---people don't *want* to understand things that aren't familiar to them, people want them to conform--- and conformity is not diversity or acceptance or inclusiveness or tolerance of empathy or anything good by itself. its just paving poo poo over to pave it over. a well known piece of poetry by another person known for being right: tupac shakur

you know you will get pushback and little support so you want to hit the ground with a strong enough point established that people can't throw lazy arguments at it

it creates a kind of 'best not miss' pressure to get a point across the first time you try to make it because you usually don't get another, people don't want to read multiple posts, or one big post. they do not really care. i am right

this website's depictions of autism when i started posting here at 14 were the first thing thing that made me go "...do i have this?", while seeing the people who did just being mocked like ruthlessly immediately followed by "nope! im not a fedorite neckbeard, don't really watch anime, not obsessed with trains. i only liked sonic the hedgehog from age 3 to 8 or so, and therefore: not autism. autistic people sure got good taste in videogames tho and golly i love patterns. i bet everyone has such a hard time with eye contact '"

I have hated myself and felt like an alien and bad person from a lack of understanding about and internalized denial towards autism that i first developed from the way it would be portrayed -here- at 14 years old. i really didn't want to be the 'self diagnosed autistic goon who just has social anxiety they don't want to face'. that's what autism looked like to me, that's what i didn't want to be, and that's why i refused to consider it as a potential possibility for about 20 years. this has lead to so many difficulties in my life.

People blame you for problems with no diagnosis or explanation. They do either way, but without a diagnosis people act like everything that you might do that's different is intentional or because you're just bad in some medically illegitimate way. without a diagnosis you have no support or patience, you do not get the benefit of the doubt.
i would obsessively mask any autistic traits, i thought they were broken things about me. i have trained myself to ignore just about every signal from my body, to seem normal. would white knuckle and klonopin-soak the sensory irritation from sunlight and sound and touch until id snap, break down.

i never once looked into the symptoms or subjective experience to see if it resembled mine, i just looked at the diagnostic criteria and tried to not be that. because didn't wanna be neckbeard. i spent my teenage & most of my adult years trying to willpower away weird wiggles n poo poo or echolalia. i worried i had latent schizophrenia or schizotypal stuff from that and the way I'll write things out and have to read them to fully understand them or feel them myself - things have difficulty getting between one half of my brain to the other, i have weird stuff related to my corpus callosum, i think? and that allows me to kind of bypass the problem. it's what it feels like, and works.
that's weird as gently caress to do and not know why for that long

sa has come a long way from how it was: reading some actual info about autism on here is what broke through the denial and got me to consider i might actually have it and that it's not bad or something, idk. anyways, i like this website and the people on it and i genuinely think people just don't know what they're doing that causes damage

i didn't know that several days had passed between July 31st and August 1st

you didn't clearly say anything
i decided to pm it to you instead of post it because people do not like that i write posts with a lot of words, i will pm people. i like to talk to people and have spent time thinking about this i thought i had some good points, and i still do, as i was right. i will post the post now

I don't like when people misrepresent things, nor when they play victim because they were sent a polite and i think quite cognizant point - you seem like a bad person if what i posited is objectionable enough to say it's on some other poo poo

dont say I sent no 540 Slur Rant and w/e, the way this is repeatedly misrepresented and mischaracterized by you doesn't make sense to me, I don't like being mischaracterized. i don't go on rants, and tbh, you rub me off like all the people who have respected me the least in life, ive never said that to anyone before but it's true in this case

I will not contact you again, don't worry

sedanchair was awful and came across as a wicked person to me, i remember yelling abt those psychoass pms, he gave me McVeigh vibes. i simply like to post and it does not take much time, that pm there about 10-15 min maybe. i care about this stuff but it's like, about the principle of it, not bc I'm mad af anyone it's just true
i didn't pm the other poster btw, idk what that was

i see what you're doing here i tend to say those things a lot! i know rifht?
especially in some recent PMs, not to you�? kinda rude... hm, well i pmed grey cat smth w something like that about right when u posted it

know why I'll buffer things i say with stupid little conflict avoidancey things like that? it's bc even when i have a lot to say and really no reason to be reserved, i apologize to everyone i speak to! because i am kinda traumatized by people
they have done tremendous harm to me for no reason and in more ways than i would ever like to mention but one is by ppl mocking me behind:) my back for my broken, Retard brain, instead of saying something if theyve got a bone in :) their :) throats :)

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:52

Southern Cassowary: Jan 3, 2023

Smugworth posted:

Anybody read the whole thing yet who can tldr for us what the serious GBS feedbacker wrote

yeah. it's about people not listening to you if you're autistic even though issues directly affect you, with tangents about growing up autistic as well as a belabored point about the UK/Australia using c*** that merited a strange PM for some reason and thinking a benign comment about pizza was an insult at the end.

there was an earlier conversation in this thread between kagaya and some other posters who explored similar ideas that i thought was pretty thought provoking, if that didn't go anywhere this sure as hell isn't.

the funniest part was this:

FirstnameLastname posted:

[*] I have to explain all these things
[*]i am here and i have before and i will again
[*]i have become exceedingly efficient at it

this is efficient

# ? Aug 3, 2023 03:59

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

FirstnameLastname posted:

i wanted people to actually see what i was saying and to hopefully not skim over it or think that they understand, because people will think they do, and then stop paying attention, and then it's even harder to get them to understand that there is more to it they're not getting
ill do it again

also i just thought it was funny stylistically when i wrote my first real attempt to honestly explain what i am like and what my life is like to others and to try to humanize myself while sharing very bizarre truths

when u are someone who exists in a way that has very little overlap with most people's existence, anything you tend to mention involving that will be

ignored

misunderstood

assumed to be incorrect, exaggeration, lying

come off as irritating to /most/ people who have not shared similar experiences - the vast, vast majority of people who've ever accepted things about me without going 'wtf' or making me feel bad about it one way or another have always been people who are themselves very different from the norms, either neurologically or culturally or socioeconomically. I'm not saying everyone's evil, that's another common misinterpretation used to handwave away the concerns of people with disabilities: the bitter burnt out person who's overgeneralizing amd pessimistic and mad at people who didn't do anything to them. I'm not saying everyone's mean, some are but most people do not know how to be kind right, or what towards. Some of the most hurtful and harmful stuff I've been through has been "for my own good" by people who cared about me and thought they were helping. They weren't thinking of me as a human being, but thought they were helping

People will not understand they can hurt people or reinforce systemic oppression and marginalization while being a legitimately kind-hearted person with no intentions of doing things like that, and without noticing you are hurting things.

That's mostly why it happens - it's invisible to most of you. it doesn't happen because people hate people with disabilities, its because people do not know what they're doing. But It Still Happens. You don't understand how drastically removed one life experience can be from another's, or what something mean for them, that is different for you.

People don't like to acknowledge that. It's automatic and if you think you don't do it you're wrong. People who have the privilege to ignore realities outside their own like to think that their existence is the normal one and the right one, the default one, that they're doing something right, and that the world they know is fair to others because it has beem fair to them, because that's like a nice warm blanket around you that gives a sense of value and intrinsic meaning.

People think that living the better understood, more common, more familiar experience means it's the correct, or better one, and that it means they're doing something right, or that people who live or describe a different experience are doing something wrong, or are a problem.

This is because validating the other as valid means removing the exceptionalism from your own perspective: people dont like to do that, especially not for an experience they see as inferior, which they do, or they wouldn't see their own as exceptional - which they do

furthermore:

That automatic assumption that stuff you don't recognize or have an experienced yourself must not be valid, or that my raising a concern is immediately a problem, because the things that affect me don't affect you, but my complaining does, or that it means the way i feel is somehow deserved and my rocking the boat is what is really annoying comes off exactly like people saying "well racism would be over black people quit bringing it up!!" - yes, over for the people who don't have to deal with it, that had always been the case.

if people were going to just start treating people with disabilities better on their own, without stuff like this being said, they would.

they won't because they don't understand how to do that. they don't understand how to do that because they don't understand disabilities because they don't ever have to.

i know, even with this site being more educated and inclusive on average, most people reading this have no idea what autism is outside of memes and poo poo unless they're autistic or have close family or friends who are.

Most people on here probably still have a mental image that autism makes you look and act like a Moderator. lots of people don't get that people with autism have emotions just like everybody else, they just don't express them the same way outwardly. lots of people think autism means you're a manchild, or some descartean simulacrum markov chatbot that's approximating humanity.

there's a lot of people who think that autistic people lack loving object permanence. like a baby where you put keys on their head and they're not able to understand the keys still exist. ADHD and OCD are things people are "so" or "a little" because they keep their bedding neat or lose their keys,

people know what they're called but don't know what they are. there aren't really many positive or humanizing representations of autistic people, ADHD people, people with downs, people with cerebral palsy. We are not represented, not understood, are alienated and ignored and avoided.

This is truth.

people don't want to know or think about it.

People do not want to consider that they might not really think of or treat people with disabilities very well as-it-is. That they might need to reexamine how they look at and think of people. Too much cognitive dissonance with all the good work they've done telling people to not say retard.

i am hoping that if i can communicate some of these things that actually impact me and that i see impacting others, that it might lead to them happening less. I'm hoping people who want to help will listen and try to understand that you don't have to find and point out the problems, they have been found by the people they have hurt.

what needs to happen is people need to listen to the people trying to bring attention to them, to read or listen about stuff like autism and ADHD epilepsy and dyslexia and schizotypal/affective disorders just a little bit from people who live with them

I'm serious if everyone spent aybe 30 minutes reading or listening to autistic people about why it can be hard to do things like socialize, instead of assuming that we're just too fuckin dumb to get it, that would be a game changer lol.

it'll probably never loving happen

people don't understand

people don't think there's anything to understand

people think if there is, it doesn't matter

people do that while thinking that they care. if you care then it can't not matter. if it doesn't matter you don't care stop pretending or start caring

I have to explain all these things

i am here and i have before and i will again

i have become exceedingly efficient at it

because nobody tries to learn about these things unless they have to and they never have to because conformity is expected, not acceptance, tolerance, of understanding. That is to say, the party that has difficulties with navigating social conventions and has a hard time being flexible about things has to be the flexible one, every time.

It is not accepted or understood that the weird way I do stuff and people like me do stuff is just as valid and mostly works just as well to do things, there's a consistent logic to it, it's not dysfunctional, it's just different - it's not tolerated by society tho. noone will meet halfway, people don't offer, and the only times it's really acceptable to ask or when there's a federal or state law mandating that I can

Even if it's nothing that requires anyone else's help or time or resources, simply different is often enough to be worth targeting for ridicule or fought against by people who 'dont want it around /not their problem/etc'

every person who has been discriminated against for anything can understand that one

if pretty much everyone irl has treated anything about me i couldn't and didn't literally hide from them like this, and im 33 yo im younger than the avg on here, odds are nearly everyone here has some hosed up attitudes towards disability & nonconformity and variance they could probably work on

People don't understand these kinds of things, or that difference is not necessarily a deficiency, and deficiency isn't necessarily bad.They should, they're not that hard to understand, maybe hard to imagine what it's like, but not to understand how to interact.

This is connected to the rest of the stuff I've been saying about expectations of conformity, you motherfuckers(endearingly) do not know how much people already do conform and accept and assimilate and tolerate, so that you, and not us, can have things be familiar to you because ---people don't *want* to understand things that aren't familiar to them, people want them to conform--- and conformity is not diversity or acceptance or inclusiveness or tolerance of empathy or anything good by itself. its just paving poo poo over to pave it over. a well known piece of poetry by another person known for being right: tupac shakur

you know you will get pushback and little support so you want to hit the ground with a strong enough point established that people can't throw lazy arguments at it

it creates a kind of 'best not miss' pressure to get a point across the first time you try to make it because you usually don't get another, people don't want to read multiple posts, or one big post. they do not really care. i am right

this website's depictions of autism when i started posting here at 14 were the first thing thing that made me go "...do i have this?", while seeing the people who did just being mocked like ruthlessly immediately followed by "nope! im not a fedorite neckbeard, don't really watch anime, not obsessed with trains. i only liked sonic the hedgehog from age 3 to 8 or so, and therefore: not autism. autistic people sure got good taste in videogames tho and golly i love patterns. i bet everyone has such a hard time with eye contact '"

I have hated myself and felt like an alien and bad person from a lack of understanding about and internalized denial towards autism that i first developed from the way it would be portrayed -here- at 14 years old. i really didn't want to be the 'self diagnosed autistic goon who just has social anxiety they don't want to face'. that's what autism looked like to me, that's what i didn't want to be, and that's why i refused to consider it as a potential possibility for about 20 years. this has lead to so many difficulties in my life.

People blame you for problems with no diagnosis or explanation. They do either way, but without a diagnosis people act like everything that you might do that's different is intentional or because you're just bad in some medically illegitimate way. without a diagnosis you have no support or patience, you do not get the benefit of the doubt.
i would obsessively mask any autistic traits, i thought they were broken things about me. i have trained myself to ignore just about every signal from my body, to seem normal. would white knuckle and klonopin-soak the sensory irritation from sunlight and sound and touch until id snap, break down.

i never once looked into the symptoms or subjective experience to see if it resembled mine, i just looked at the diagnostic criteria and tried to not be that. because didn't wanna be neckbeard. i spent my teenage & most of my adult years trying to willpower away weird wiggles n poo poo or echolalia. i worried i had latent schizophrenia or schizotypal stuff from that and the way I'll write things out and have to read them to fully understand them or feel them myself - things have difficulty getting between one half of my brain to the other, i have weird stuff related to my corpus callosum, i think? and that allows me to kind of bypass the problem. it's what it feels like, and works.
that's weird as gently caress to do and not know why for that long

sa has come a long way from how it was: reading some actual info about autism on here is what broke through the denial and got me to consider i might actually have it and that it's not bad or something, idk. anyways, i like this website and the people on it and i genuinely think people just don't know what they're doing that causes damage

i didn't know that several days had passed between July 31st and August 1st

you didn't clearly say anything
i decided to pm it to you instead of post it because people do not like that i write posts with a lot of words, i will pm people. i like to talk to people and have spent time thinking about this i thought i had some good points, and i still do, as i was right. i will post the post now

I don't like when people misrepresent things, nor when they play victim because they were sent a polite and i think quite cognizant point - you seem like a bad person if what i posited is objectionable enough to say it's on some other poo poo

dont say I sent no 540 Slur Rant and w/e, the way this is repeatedly misrepresented and mischaracterized by you doesn't make sense to me, I don't like being mischaracterized. i don't go on rants, and tbh, you rub me off like all the people who have respected me the least in life, ive never said that to anyone before but it's true in this case

I will not contact you again, don't worry

sedanchair was awful and came across as a wicked person to me, i remember yelling abt those psychoass pms, he gave me McVeigh vibes. i simply like to post and it does not take much time, that pm there about 10-15 min maybe. i care about this stuff but it's like, about the principle of it, not bc I'm mad af anyone it's just true
i didn't pm the other poster btw, idk what that was

i see what you're doing here i tend to say those things a lot! i know rifht?
especially in some recent PMs, not to you�? kinda rude... hm, well i pmed grey cat smth w something like that about right when u posted it

know why I'll buffer things i say with stupid little conflict avoidancey things like that? it's bc even when i have a lot to say and really no reason to be reserved, i apologize to everyone i speak to! because i am kinda traumatized by people
they have done tremendous harm to me for no reason and in more ways than i would ever like to mention but one is by ppl mocking me behind:) my back for my broken, Retard brain, instead of saying something if theyve got a bone in :) their :) throats :)

# ? Aug 3, 2023 04:03

Beer Gay So What: Apr 20, 2023; THEY MADE THE BEER GAY AND THATS OK

FirstnameLastname posted:

i wanted people to actually see what i was saying and to hopefully not skim over it or think that they understand, because people will think they do, and then stop paying attention, and then it's even harder to get them to understand that there is more to it they're not getting
ill do it again

also i just thought it was funny stylistically when i wrote my first real attempt to honestly explain what i am like and what my life is like to others and to try to humanize myself while sharing very bizarre truths

when u are someone who exists in a way that has very little overlap with most people's existence, anything you tend to mention involving that will be

ignored

misunderstood

assumed to be incorrect, exaggeration, lying

come off as irritating to /most/ people who have not shared similar experiences - the vast, vast majority of people who've ever accepted things about me without going 'wtf' or making me feel bad about it one way or another have always been people who are themselves very different from the norms, either neurologically or culturally or socioeconomically. I'm not saying everyone's evil, that's another common misinterpretation used to handwave away the concerns of people with disabilities: the bitter burnt out person who's overgeneralizing amd pessimistic and mad at people who didn't do anything to them. I'm not saying everyone's mean, some are but most people do not know how to be kind right, or what towards. Some of the most hurtful and harmful stuff I've been through has been "for my own good" by people who cared about me and thought they were helping. They weren't thinking of me as a human being, but thought they were helping

People will not understand they can hurt people or reinforce systemic oppression and marginalization while being a legitimately kind-hearted person with no intentions of doing things like that, and without noticing you are hurting things.

That's mostly why it happens - it's invisible to most of you. it doesn't happen because people hate people with disabilities, its because people do not know what they're doing. But It Still Happens. You don't understand how drastically removed one life experience can be from another's, or what something mean for them, that is different for you.

People don't like to acknowledge that. It's automatic and if you think you don't do it you're wrong. People who have the privilege to ignore realities outside their own like to think that their existence is the normal one and the right one, the default one, that they're doing something right, and that the world they know is fair to others because it has beem fair to them, because that's like a nice warm blanket around you that gives a sense of value and intrinsic meaning.

People think that living the better understood, more common, more familiar experience means it's the correct, or better one, and that it means they're doing something right, or that people who live or describe a different experience are doing something wrong, or are a problem.

This is because validating the other as valid means removing the exceptionalism from your own perspective: people dont like to do that, especially not for an experience they see as inferior, which they do, or they wouldn't see their own as exceptional - which they do

furthermore:

That automatic assumption that stuff you don't recognize or have an experienced yourself must not be valid, or that my raising a concern is immediately a problem, because the things that affect me don't affect you, but my complaining does, or that it means the way i feel is somehow deserved and my rocking the boat is what is really annoying comes off exactly like people saying "well racism would be over black people quit bringing it up!!" - yes, over for the people who don't have to deal with it, that had always been the case.

if people were going to just start treating people with disabilities better on their own, without stuff like this being said, they would.

they won't because they don't understand how to do that. they don't understand how to do that because they don't understand disabilities because they don't ever have to.

i know, even with this site being more educated and inclusive on average, most people reading this have no idea what autism is outside of memes and poo poo unless they're autistic or have close family or friends who are.

Most people on here probably still have a mental image that autism makes you look and act like a Moderator. lots of people don't get that people with autism have emotions just like everybody else, they just don't express them the same way outwardly. lots of people think autism means you're a manchild, or some descartean simulacrum markov chatbot that's approximating humanity.

there's a lot of people who think that autistic people lack loving object permanence. like a baby where you put keys on their head and they're not able to understand the keys still exist. ADHD and OCD are things people are "so" or "a little" because they keep their bedding neat or lose their keys,

people know what they're called but don't know what they are. there aren't really many positive or humanizing representations of autistic people, ADHD people, people with downs, people with cerebral palsy. We are not represented, not understood, are alienated and ignored and avoided.

This is truth.

people don't want to know or think about it.

People do not want to consider that they might not really think of or treat people with disabilities very well as-it-is. That they might need to reexamine how they look at and think of people. Too much cognitive dissonance with all the good work they've done telling people to not say retard.

i am hoping that if i can communicate some of these things that actually impact me and that i see impacting others, that it might lead to them happening less. I'm hoping people who want to help will listen and try to understand that you don't have to find and point out the problems, they have been found by the people they have hurt.

what needs to happen is people need to listen to the people trying to bring attention to them, to read or listen about stuff like autism and ADHD epilepsy and dyslexia and schizotypal/affective disorders just a little bit from people who live with them

I'm serious if everyone spent aybe 30 minutes reading or listening to autistic people about why it can be hard to do things like socialize, instead of assuming that we're just too fuckin dumb to get it, that would be a game changer lol.

it'll probably never loving happen

people don't understand

people don't think there's anything to understand

people think if there is, it doesn't matter

people do that while thinking that they care. if you care then it can't not matter. if it doesn't matter you don't care stop pretending or start caring

I have to explain all these things

i am here and i have before and i will again

i have become exceedingly efficient at it

because nobody tries to learn about these things unless they have to and they never have to because conformity is expected, not acceptance, tolerance, of understanding. That is to say, the party that has difficulties with navigating social conventions and has a hard time being flexible about things has to be the flexible one, every time.

It is not accepted or understood that the weird way I do stuff and people like me do stuff is just as valid and mostly works just as well to do things, there's a consistent logic to it, it's not dysfunctional, it's just different - it's not tolerated by society tho. noone will meet halfway, people don't offer, and the only times it's really acceptable to ask or when there's a federal or state law mandating that I can

Even if it's nothing that requires anyone else's help or time or resources, simply different is often enough to be worth targeting for ridicule or fought against by people who 'dont want it around /not their problem/etc'

every person who has been discriminated against for anything can understand that one

if pretty much everyone irl has treated anything about me i couldn't and didn't literally hide from them like this, and im 33 yo im younger than the avg on here, odds are nearly everyone here has some hosed up attitudes towards disability & nonconformity and variance they could probably work on

People don't understand these kinds of things, or that difference is not necessarily a deficiency, and deficiency isn't necessarily bad.They should, they're not that hard to understand, maybe hard to imagine what it's like, but not to understand how to interact.

This is connected to the rest of the stuff I've been saying about expectations of conformity, you motherfuckers(endearingly) do not know how much people already do conform and accept and assimilate and tolerate, so that you, and not us, can have things be familiar to you because ---people don't *want* to understand things that aren't familiar to them, people want them to conform--- and conformity is not diversity or acceptance or inclusiveness or tolerance of empathy or anything good by itself. its just paving poo poo over to pave it over. a well known piece of poetry by another person known for being right: tupac shakur

you know you will get pushback and little support so you want to hit the ground with a strong enough point established that people can't throw lazy arguments at it

it creates a kind of 'best not miss' pressure to get a point across the first time you try to make it because you usually don't get another, people don't want to read multiple posts, or one big post. they do not really care. i am right

this website's depictions of autism when i started posting here at 14 were the first thing thing that made me go "...do i have this?", while seeing the people who did just being mocked like ruthlessly immediately followed by "nope! im not a fedorite neckbeard, don't really watch anime, not obsessed with trains. i only liked sonic the hedgehog from age 3 to 8 or so, and therefore: not autism. autistic people sure got good taste in videogames tho and golly i love patterns. i bet everyone has such a hard time with eye contact '"

I have hated myself and felt like an alien and bad person from a lack of understanding about and internalized denial towards autism that i first developed from the way it would be portrayed -here- at 14 years old. i really didn't want to be the 'self diagnosed autistic goon who just has social anxiety they don't want to face'. that's what autism looked like to me, that's what i didn't want to be, and that's why i refused to consider it as a potential possibility for about 20 years. this has lead to so many difficulties in my life.

People blame you for problems with no diagnosis or explanation. They do either way, but without a diagnosis people act like everything that you might do that's different is intentional or because you're just bad in some medically illegitimate way. without a diagnosis you have no support or patience, you do not get the benefit of the doubt.
i would obsessively mask any autistic traits, i thought they were broken things about me. i have trained myself to ignore just about every signal from my body, to seem normal. would white knuckle and klonopin-soak the sensory irritation from sunlight and sound and touch until id snap, break down.

i never once looked into the symptoms or subjective experience to see if it resembled mine, i just looked at the diagnostic criteria and tried to not be that. because didn't wanna be neckbeard. i spent my teenage & most of my adult years trying to willpower away weird wiggles n poo poo or echolalia. i worried i had latent schizophrenia or schizotypal stuff from that and the way I'll write things out and have to read them to fully understand them or feel them myself - things have difficulty getting between one half of my brain to the other, i have weird stuff related to my corpus callosum, i think? and that allows me to kind of bypass the problem. it's what it feels like, and works.
that's weird as gently caress to do and not know why for that long

sa has come a long way from how it was: reading some actual info about autism on here is what broke through the denial and got me to consider i might actually have it and that it's not bad or something, idk. anyways, i like this website and the people on it and i genuinely think people just don't know what they're doing that causes damage

i didn't know that several days had passed between July 31st and August 1st

you didn't clearly say anything
i decided to pm it to you instead of post it because people do not like that i write posts with a lot of words, i will pm people. i like to talk to people and have spent time thinking about this i thought i had some good points, and i still do, as i was right. i will post the post now

I don't like when people misrepresent things, nor when they play victim because they were sent a polite and i think quite cognizant point - you seem like a bad person if what i posited is objectionable enough to say it's on some other poo poo

dont say I sent no 540 Slur Rant and w/e, the way this is repeatedly misrepresented and mischaracterized by you doesn't make sense to me, I don't like being mischaracterized. i don't go on rants, and tbh, you rub me off like all the people who have respected me the least in life, ive never said that to anyone before but it's true in this case

I will not contact you again, don't worry

sedanchair was awful and came across as a wicked person to me, i remember yelling abt those psychoass pms, he gave me McVeigh vibes. i simply like to post and it does not take much time, that pm there about 10-15 min maybe. i care about this stuff but it's like, about the principle of it, not bc I'm mad af anyone it's just true
i didn't pm the other poster btw, idk what that was

i see what you're doing here i tend to say those things a lot! i know rifht?
especially in some recent PMs, not to you�? kinda rude... hm, well i pmed grey cat smth w something like that about right when u posted it

know why I'll buffer things i say with stupid little conflict avoidancey things like that? it's bc even when i have a lot to say and really no reason to be reserved, i apologize to everyone i speak to! because i am kinda traumatized by people
they have done tremendous harm to me for no reason and in more ways than i would ever like to mention but one is by ppl mocking me behind:) my back for my broken, Retard brain, instead of saying something if theyve got a bone in :) their :) throats :)

Not in MLA format gonna have to knock you down a grade

# ? Aug 3, 2023 04:06

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

I've always felt quoting huge posts was rather gauche. I much prefer trimming it to be a mocking summary of whatever the hell this giant rear end post is.

# ? Aug 3, 2023 04:10

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

FirstnameLastname posted:

i wanted people to actually see what i was saying and to hopefully not skim over it or think that they understand, because people will think they do, and then stop paying attention, and then it's even harder to get them to understand that there is more to it they're not getting
ill do it again

also i just thought it was funny stylistically when i wrote my first real attempt to honestly explain what i am like and what my life is like to others and to try to humanize myself while sharing very bizarre truths

when u are someone who exists in a way that has very little overlap with most people's existence, anything you tend to mention involving that will be

ignored

misunderstood

assumed to be incorrect, exaggeration, lying

come off as irritating to /most/ people who have not shared similar experiences - the vast, vast majority of people who've ever accepted things about me without going 'wtf' or making me feel bad about it one way or another have always been people who are themselves very different from the norms, either neurologically or culturally or socioeconomically. I'm not saying everyone's evil, that's another common misinterpretation used to handwave away the concerns of people with disabilities: the bitter burnt out person who's overgeneralizing amd pessimistic and mad at people who didn't do anything to them. I'm not saying everyone's mean, some are but most people do not know how to be kind right, or what towards. Some of the most hurtful and harmful stuff I've been through has been "for my own good" by people who cared about me and thought they were helping. They weren't thinking of me as a human being, but thought they were helping

People will not understand they can hurt people or reinforce systemic oppression and marginalization while being a legitimately kind-hearted person with no intentions of doing things like that, and without noticing you are hurting things.

That's mostly why it happens - it's invisible to most of you. it doesn't happen because people hate people with disabilities, its because people do not know what they're doing. But It Still Happens. You don't understand how drastically removed one life experience can be from another's, or what something mean for them, that is different for you.

People don't like to acknowledge that. It's automatic and if you think you don't do it you're wrong. People who have the privilege to ignore realities outside their own like to think that their existence is the normal one and the right one, the default one, that they're doing something right, and that the world they know is fair to others because it has beem fair to them, because that's like a nice warm blanket around you that gives a sense of value and intrinsic meaning.

People think that living the better understood, more common, more familiar experience means it's the correct, or better one, and that it means they're doing something right, or that people who live or describe a different experience are doing something wrong, or are a problem.

This is because validating the other as valid means removing the exceptionalism from your own perspective: people dont like to do that, especially not for an experience they see as inferior, which they do, or they wouldn't see their own as exceptional - which they do

furthermore:

That automatic assumption that stuff you don't recognize or have an experienced yourself must not be valid, or that my raising a concern is immediately a problem, because the things that affect me don't affect you, but my complaining does, or that it means the way i feel is somehow deserved and my rocking the boat is what is really annoying comes off exactly like people saying "well racism would be over black people quit bringing it up!!" - yes, over for the people who don't have to deal with it, that had always been the case.

if people were going to just start treating people with disabilities better on their own, without stuff like this being said, they would.

they won't because they don't understand how to do that. they don't understand how to do that because they don't understand disabilities because they don't ever have to.

i know, even with this site being more educated and inclusive on average, most people reading this have no idea what autism is outside of memes and poo poo unless they're autistic or have close family or friends who are.

Most people on here probably still have a mental image that autism makes you look and act like a Moderator. lots of people don't get that people with autism have emotions just like everybody else, they just don't express them the same way outwardly. lots of people think autism means you're a manchild, or some descartean simulacrum markov chatbot that's approximating humanity.

there's a lot of people who think that autistic people lack loving object permanence. like a baby where you put keys on their head and they're not able to understand the keys still exist. ADHD and OCD are things people are "so" or "a little" because they keep their bedding neat or lose their keys,

people know what they're called but don't know what they are. there aren't really many positive or humanizing representations of autistic people, ADHD people, people with downs, people with cerebral palsy. We are not represented, not understood, are alienated and ignored and avoided.

This is truth.

people don't want to know or think about it.

People do not want to consider that they might not really think of or treat people with disabilities very well as-it-is. That they might need to reexamine how they look at and think of people. Too much cognitive dissonance with all the good work they've done telling people to not say retard.

i am hoping that if i can communicate some of these things that actually impact me and that i see impacting others, that it might lead to them happening less. I'm hoping people who want to help will listen and try to understand that you don't have to find and point out the problems, they have been found by the people they have hurt.

what needs to happen is people need to listen to the people trying to bring attention to them, to read or listen about stuff like autism and ADHD epilepsy and dyslexia and schizotypal/affective disorders just a little bit from people who live with them

I'm serious if everyone spent aybe 30 minutes reading or listening to autistic people about why it can be hard to do things like socialize, instead of assuming that we're just too fuckin dumb to get it, that would be a game changer lol.

it'll probably never loving happen

people don't understand

people don't think there's anything to understand

people think if there is, it doesn't matter

people do that while thinking that they care. if you care then it can't not matter. if it doesn't matter you don't care stop pretending or start caring

I have to explain all these things

i am here and i have before and i will again

i have become exceedingly efficient at it

because nobody tries to learn about these things unless they have to and they never have to because conformity is expected, not acceptance, tolerance, of understanding. That is to say, the party that has difficulties with navigating social conventions and has a hard time being flexible about things has to be the flexible one, every time.

It is not accepted or understood that the weird way I do stuff and people like me do stuff is just as valid and mostly works just as well to do things, there's a consistent logic to it, it's not dysfunctional, it's just different - it's not tolerated by society tho. noone will meet halfway, people don't offer, and the only times it's really acceptable to ask or when there's a federal or state law mandating that I can

Even if it's nothing that requires anyone else's help or time or resources, simply different is often enough to be worth targeting for ridicule or fought against by people who 'dont want it around /not their problem/etc'

every person who has been discriminated against for anything can understand that one

if pretty much everyone irl has treated anything about me i couldn't and didn't literally hide from them like this, and im 33 yo im younger than the avg on here, odds are nearly everyone here has some hosed up attitudes towards disability & nonconformity and variance they could probably work on

People don't understand these kinds of things, or that difference is not necessarily a deficiency, and deficiency isn't necessarily bad.They should, they're not that hard to understand, maybe hard to imagine what it's like, but not to understand how to interact.

This is connected to the rest of the stuff I've been saying about expectations of conformity, you motherfuckers(endearingly) do not know how much people already do conform and accept and assimilate and tolerate, so that you, and not us, can have things be familiar to you because ---people don't *want* to understand things that aren't familiar to them, people want them to conform--- and conformity is not diversity or acceptance or inclusiveness or tolerance of empathy or anything good by itself. its just paving poo poo over to pave it over. a well known piece of poetry by another person known for being right: tupac shakur

you know you will get pushback and little support so you want to hit the ground with a strong enough point established that people can't throw lazy arguments at it

it creates a kind of 'best not miss' pressure to get a point across the first time you try to make it because you usually don't get another, people don't want to read multiple posts, or one big post. they do not really care. i am right

this website's depictions of autism when i started posting here at 14 were the first thing thing that made me go "...do i have this?", while seeing the people who did just being mocked like ruthlessly immediately followed by "nope! im not a fedorite neckbeard, don't really watch anime, not obsessed with trains. i only liked sonic the hedgehog from age 3 to 8 or so, and therefore: not autism. autistic people sure got good taste in videogames tho and golly i love patterns. i bet everyone has such a hard time with eye contact '"

I have hated myself and felt like an alien and bad person from a lack of understanding about and internalized denial towards autism that i first developed from the way it would be portrayed -here- at 14 years old. i really didn't want to be the 'self diagnosed autistic goon who just has social anxiety they don't want to face'. that's what autism looked like to me, that's what i didn't want to be, and that's why i refused to consider it as a potential possibility for about 20 years. this has lead to so many difficulties in my life.

People blame you for problems with no diagnosis or explanation. They do either way, but without a diagnosis people act like everything that you might do that's different is intentional or because you're just bad in some medically illegitimate way. without a diagnosis you have no support or patience, you do not get the benefit of the doubt.
i would obsessively mask any autistic traits, i thought they were broken things about me. i have trained myself to ignore just about every signal from my body, to seem normal. would white knuckle and klonopin-soak the sensory irritation from sunlight and sound and touch until id snap, break down.

i never once looked into the symptoms or subjective experience to see if it resembled mine, i just looked at the diagnostic criteria and tried to not be that. because didn't wanna be neckbeard. i spent my teenage & most of my adult years trying to willpower away weird wiggles n poo poo or echolalia. i worried i had latent schizophrenia or schizotypal stuff from that and the way I'll write things out and have to read them to fully understand them or feel them myself - things have difficulty getting between one half of my brain to the other, i have weird stuff related to my corpus callosum, i think? and that allows me to kind of bypass the problem. it's what it feels like, and works.
that's weird as gently caress to do and not know why for that long

sa has come a long way from how it was: reading some actual info about autism on here is what broke through the denial and got me to consider i might actually have it and that it's not bad or something, idk. anyways, i like this website and the people on it and i genuinely think people just don't know what they're doing that causes damage

i didn't know that several days had passed between July 31st and August 1st

you didn't clearly say anything
i decided to pm it to you instead of post it because people do not like that i write posts with a lot of words, i will pm people. i like to talk to people and have spent time thinking about this i thought i had some good points, and i still do, as i was right. i will post the post now

I don't like when people misrepresent things, nor when they play victim because they were sent a polite and i think quite cognizant point - you seem like a bad person if what i posited is objectionable enough to say it's on some other poo poo

dont say I sent no 540 Slur Rant and w/e, the way this is repeatedly misrepresented and mischaracterized by you doesn't make sense to me, I don't like being mischaracterized. i don't go on rants, and tbh, you rub me off like all the people who have respected me the least in life, ive never said that to anyone before but it's true in this case

I will not contact you again, don't worry

sedanchair was awful and came across as a wicked person to me, i remember yelling abt those psychoass pms, he gave me McVeigh vibes. i simply like to post and it does not take much time, that pm there about 10-15 min maybe. i care about this stuff but it's like, about the principle of it, not bc I'm mad af anyone it's just true
i didn't pm the other poster btw, idk what that was

i see what you're doing here i tend to say those things a lot! i know rifht?
especially in some recent PMs, not to you�? kinda rude... hm, well i pmed grey cat smth w something like that about right when u posted it

know why I'll buffer things i say with stupid little conflict avoidancey things like that? it's bc even when i have a lot to say and really no reason to be reserved, i apologize to everyone i speak to! because i am kinda traumatized by people
they have done tremendous harm to me for no reason and in more ways than i would ever like to mention but one is by ppl mocking me behind:) my back for my broken, Retard brain, instead of saying something if theyve got a bone in :) their :) throats :)

# ? Aug 3, 2023 04:14

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Perfect Potato posted:

Maybe nom epique should stop posting apple more like crapple and biden bad and start making 90% of their posts be barely intelligible gigantic screeds instead. It seems to offer a lot more leeway for some reason

Yea yea I'm starting to think nom is the problem too, i hope they catch that guy

# ? Aug 3, 2023 04:16