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Help help, my daughter has been traumatized from another mom getting angry at her! I mean yeah, she did call her daughter a racial slur and tried to whip her with her jumprope, but I don't see why the other mom had to get so mad about it. She probably just picked that stuff up from her dad anyway. Now everyone thinks we're racists, this is just great!
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Apr 10, 2019 04:55
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Pick posted:I never said that at all. I said go after the parents, depending on how old the child is. If the child is old enough to know what they're actually saying, then of course go after them. As has been said above, even young kids know.
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Apr 10, 2019 04:55
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if minorities arent infinitely benevolent, how will white people ever see them as equals? no nevermind that white people arent infinitely benevolent, that isnt the point right now
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Apr 10, 2019 04:55
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How do I prove to them that only my husband says that poo poo to our kid, but I’m a nice little angel
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Apr 10, 2019 04:56
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Brother Entropy posted:that guy is definitely reliving his childhood through his son but like, his son is still having a fun time out of it so whatever who cares yeah I'm pretty sure a fair amount of father/son stuff is fathers sharing stuff they enjoyed as a kid and there's nothing wrong with that.
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Apr 10, 2019 04:59
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Would you say then that adult white people all thoroughly and meaningfully understand the American legacy of racism?
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Apr 10, 2019 05:00
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Pick posted:Would you say then that adult white people all thoroughly and meaningfully understand the American legacy of racism? What the gently caress does that have to do with anything? Obviously not because we're still seriously having a conversation where people are genuinely arguing that it's up to black people to constantly politely explain to white people that they don't like to be whipped and called the n-word and do all of the emotional heavy lifting because calling whites racist is really mean. The onus is not on black people to explain to whites why they shouldn't say and do racist poo poo.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:03
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any adult white person who says the n word in 2019 is not worth saving or giving any pity or sympathy to
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Apr 10, 2019 05:04
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:any adult white person who says the n word in 2019 is not worth saving or giving any pity or sympathy to Right, but if it were a baby's first word then would you punt the baby or the parents? What's the switchover date?
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Apr 10, 2019 05:05
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LDragQueenofAngmar posted:if minorities arent infinitely benevolent, how will white people ever see them as equals? no nevermind that white people arent infinitely benevolent, that isnt the point right now Who is even talking about white people and benevolence here? The point was rather than making a bad situation worse, you could do something that might actually make the kid understand WHY what he was wrong. Rather than just assuming the kid knows the import of what he’s saying, you could find out why he did what he did and perhaps help that kid be a better person. Granted, there is a big chance the kid know why he did what he did, but you clearly don’t interact with kids often if you think they don’t just parrot poo poo they see without understanding what they are doing. You don’t have tohelp the kid, of course, but trying to act like being the adult in the situation is some huge burden reserved only for minorities’ shoulders is ridiculous.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:06
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:any adult white person who says the n word in 2019 is not worth saving or giving any pity or sympathy to What if they are trying to get Alexa to play niggas in Paris ?
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Apr 10, 2019 05:06
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Nobody's calling on people to be endlessly benevolent and kind when kids gently caress up, but there's a world of difference between two friends playing at each other's houses, where the parents are friendly and the atmosphere has (presumably) been fine up until that, and a situation where your kid does the same thing to a stranger. If your first response to your kid's friend doing something incredibly hurtful to them is to go full scorched earth on the entire family, you're not doing anyone any favours, regardless of whether the kid knew what they were doing or not.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:06
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Pick posted:Right, but if it were a baby's first word then would you punt the baby or the parents? What's the switchover date? obviously the parents. but i also dont think the black parent who shamed the white child who said the n word while whipping their black friend did anything wrong at all
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Apr 10, 2019 05:07
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:if minorities arent infinitely benevolent, how will white people ever see them as equals? no nevermind that white people arent infinitely benevolent, that isnt the point right now
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Apr 10, 2019 05:07
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:obviously the parents. but i also dont think the black parent who shamed the white child who said the n word while whipping their black friend did anything wrong at all You should read the story again 
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Apr 10, 2019 05:09
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bell jar posted:You should read the story again I think more people should reread it lol.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:10
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:obviously the parents. but i also dont think the black parent who shamed the white child who said the n word while whipping their black friend did anything wrong at all Since the story clarified it wasn't actually yelling, it was just shaming generally then I don't really think that's a problem. I do have a different interpretation of the phrase, "read the riot act" without that clarification which includes yelling but I don't know what's meant by it without castigation
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Apr 10, 2019 05:10
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bell jar posted:You should read the story again You should stop being so painfully ignorant and naive.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:10
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quote:I know Kerry now sees my family as a pack of racists.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:11
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bell jar posted:Nobody's calling on people to be endlessly benevolent and kind when kids gently caress up, but there's a world of difference between two friends playing at each other's houses, where the parents are friendly and the atmosphere has (presumably) been fine up until that, and a situation where your kid does the same thing to a stranger. If your first response to your kid's friend doing something incredibly hurtful to them is to go full scorched earth on the entire family, you're not doing anyone any favours, regardless of whether the kid knew what they were doing or not. Are you Black? Not a rhetorical question. Because I’m struggling to figure out how you can’t see the huge favor that was done for the Black child here. Pretending that “you’re not doing anyone any favors” when in point of fact, the Black kid is being protected, is precisely why Black parents have to prioritize their children’s feelings. Obviously, if they don’t, their child quickly discovers that it’s just as important to white adults that their white friends never experience any consequences for engaging in racist behavior as it is that they are safe without their parents around to protect them.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:11
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Dazerbeams posted:You should stop being so painfully ignorant and naive. Hey at least I have my facts straight
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Apr 10, 2019 05:12
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It's not like young girls aren't told "I'm gonna rape you" by young boys when literally neither person knows what's meant by it. I wouldn't have a boy yelled at over it when he probably doesn't even know what sex is yet.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:13
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Admiral Ray posted:By the way you reacted it sounds like you are. I mean, yea, the mom is definitely low-key racist and it sounds like the dad is full bore. Nevertheless, I am hopeful the child can still be saved.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:13
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Read the riot act is an English turn of phrase. Which actually puts quite a different spin on it LOL
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Apr 10, 2019 05:14
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Pick posted:It's not like young girls aren't told "I'm gonna rape you" by young boys when literally neither person knows what's meant by it. I wouldn't have a boy yelled at over it when he probably doesn't even know what sex is yet. and if the girls mom was present when this was said, it would be completely fine if she shamed the boy a lot without explaining in gentle terms why we dont say that
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Apr 10, 2019 05:14
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1redflag posted:
bell jar posted:Nobody's calling on people to be endlessly benevolent and kind when kids gently caress up, but there's a world of difference between two friends playing at each other's houses, where the parents are friendly and the atmosphere has (presumably) been fine up until that, and a situation where your kid does the same thing to a stranger. If your first response to your kid's friend doing something incredibly hurtful to them is to go full scorched earth on the entire family, you're not doing anyone any favours, regardless of whether the kid knew what they were doing or not. Nah, it was the mom's job to show her black kid that she is going to have her back 1000% against racist bullshit, and the white kid's parents job to be like "this is why she was so mad at you, I understand that this was upsetting to you but I hope you understand how serious this is and why your behavior was completely unacceptable. You will apologize to your friend." Like, can you even loving imagine having a black child and finding out she was whipped and called the n-word by another kid she trusted and considered a friend? Would you EVER feel like your kid was safe around that family again? Can you even loving imagine what that would be like? She showed extraordinary restraint -not- yelling or dragging the kid by her arm back home. Y'all have more empathy for a white family upset about being called out and trying to weasel out of responsibility than for the little black kid. That's pretty goddamn sad (but not at all surprising).
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Apr 10, 2019 05:15
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Why? (E: to 2nd above not direct above)
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Apr 10, 2019 05:15
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Pick posted:It's not like young girls aren't told "I'm gonna rape you" by young boys when literally neither person knows what's meant by it. I wouldn't have a boy yelled at over it when he probably doesn't even know what sex is yet. Come on shut the gently caress up this is boring.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:15
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JFairfax posted:Read the riot act is an English turn of phrase. Are you saying it's not an American idiom?
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Apr 10, 2019 05:15
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Tetramin posted:Come on shut the gently caress up this is boring.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:16
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Tetramin posted:Come on shut the gently caress up this is boring. Ok, my last post on it is just to ask between baby's first word and 18 when is the standard met for which the individual is accountable
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Apr 10, 2019 05:18
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Pick posted:Right, but if it were a baby's first word then would you punt the baby or the parents? What's the switchover date? huh, a white person on the internet trying to rules lawyer the exact scenarios where it's okay or not okay to say the n-word. never seen that before
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Apr 10, 2019 05:20
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Pick posted:Why? (E: to 2nd above not direct above) 13Pandora13 posted:Nah, it was the mom's job to show her black kid that she is going to have her back 1000% against racist bullshit, and the white kid's parents job to be like "this is why she was so mad at you, I understand that this was upsetting to you but I hope you understand how serious this is and why your behavior was completely unacceptable. You will apologize to your friend." basically this. you protect the victimized child, not the victimizer. it doesnt matter in the moment what the intention or knowledge behind the word was, it matters that the black child is protected and shown by example that they absolutely have no responsibility to be accepting or understanding or tolerant of being called an extremely vile racial slur, with included racist context that almost certainly proves that there was ill intent, even if only ill intent from the person who taught the white child these things by example.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:22
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Pick posted:Ok, my last post on it is just to ask between baby's first word and 18 when is the standard met for which the individual is accountable For not being a racist? Idk how old was the kid in Uncle Tom's Cabin when she died because she figured it out
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Apr 10, 2019 05:22
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Pick posted:Ok, my last post on it is just to ask between baby's first word and 18 when is the standard met for which the individual is accountable Much younger than you're willing to accept for some reason. If they can see a jump rope as a whip and play crack it, old enough.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:24
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Pick posted:Ok, my last post on it is just to ask between baby's first word and 18 when is the standard met for which the individual is accountable According to some linguists kids as young as 2 can be taught the meaning of swear words and why they shouldn't be said/language empathy: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/swear-words-cursing-children-what-age-good-morning-britain-dr-emma-byrne-a8479926.html True empathy develops between age 2 and 4: https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/ages-stages-empathy/ So I'd say it varies from kid to kid but if your 8 year old still lacks empathy and the ability to understand why calling someone the n-word is really goddamn heinous they either need therapeutic intervention for autism (or antisocial disorder) or you're a lovely parent with a lovely kid.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:25
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Pick posted:yes, so let loose on her parents (including the apparently willfully ignorant one). unless the kid's like 14, this is admittedly a reflection of me thinking of jump-rope age as like 8 years old. some of my friends have 8-year-olds and they're like, pffft. they don't know stuff. She used the loving jump rope as a whip, Pick.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:29
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what about the little girls feelings themselves? maybe they both miss their friend and are sad they're not allowed to play together any more. the parents should have talked this out together.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:32
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Pick posted:Ok, my last post on it is just to ask between baby's first word and 18 when is the standard met for which the individual is accountable
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Apr 10, 2019 05:35
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its like you guys can't imagine there's households where 8 y/o don't even know that word. because they have good parents that don't use racial slurs all the time. Her mom should have been the one screaming at her.
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Apr 10, 2019 05:35
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