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Or show up with the normal facial hair, and when someone says you were supposed to shave give them a smug smile and say "I did"  argh new page, content: quote:Hi Everyone, Sometimes you just gotta know when you're the side piece JosephSkunk fucked around with this message at 22:14 on Apr 17, 2019 |
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Apr 17, 2019 22:07
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Palpek posted:Lmao at the corporate brain rot in action. CheesyDog posted:Yes, ruining HR's condescending "game" where employees root around in the dirt for money is a noble cause What, no, it's a great idea, making your workers fight for eggs instead of giving them gifts and treating them like human beings
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Apr 17, 2019 22:19
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It's not worth getting upset that a guy wants to bang your girlfriend. It is worth getting upset that she let's him. Why don't these people save themselves the drama and just break up?
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Apr 17, 2019 22:22
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Labes for days posted:The “mandatory cash value” gift is one of the least bizarre and entitled requirements in there. gently caress you, I’m not cutting my hair or shaving because it’s “your special day.” I can just see the histrionics if someone showed up with long hair and a beard.
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Apr 17, 2019 22:28
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Labes for days posted:The “mandatory cash value” gift is one of the least bizarre and entitled requirements in there. gently caress you, I’m not cutting my hair or shaving because it’s “your special day.” I love the gift value requirement because I could plausibly claim to be poor enough not to be able to afford the gift and get an afternoon of my life back as a bonus.
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Apr 17, 2019 22:36
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I wish there was a way to gift a negative amount. Apparently $300 would buy more than 200 lbs of lead.
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Apr 17, 2019 22:48
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We had an easter egg hunt in my office today. It owned and was super fun because the person hiding the eggs did a great job with a mix of really hard to find eggs and eggs in plain sight. A person could "clear" a file cabinet or something but someone else goes over it again in more detail and find like 20 more eggs. There was just a minor $10 gift card for a coffee place as a prize and we all pooled our collected chocolates at the end. It was very non-competitive and fun and was mostly everyone complimenting the egg-hider on her locations. Such a huge difference between that and a frantic hungry hungry hippo scramble in a desperate attempt to get some time off work at your miserable job.
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Apr 17, 2019 23:00
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Beachcomber posted:I wish there was a way to gift a negative amount. I was thinking $300 worth of land on the moon/a star/etc and name it "your wedding sucks" or something else rude. $300 of lead sounds like a great plan. You could have it wrapped and arrive on a trailer. "I love my sister so much I had to get her a few gifts!"
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Apr 17, 2019 23:12
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quote:WIBTA for not going to my sisters wedding because of the ridiculous "requirements" Dude/lady, your future brother-in-law wouldn't be an rear end if he skipped out on that wedding. Holy poo poo. Run away. Everyone, run away.
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Apr 17, 2019 23:26
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IDK, that wedding attendance requirement story sounds about as fake as anything I've ever read in this thread. If it hadn't been for the minimum gift or "you'll be asked to leave" it would have been a pretty good read. The appearance and photo requirements for guests along with not talking to the bride and groom alone would have spurred some pretty hot takes, but a gift minimum is just so over the top that everyone focuses on that.
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Apr 17, 2019 23:30
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ilmucche posted:I think you might be on the right track but gently caress is that worded poorly Yeah, I apologize for that. I was half asleep and it sounded much better in that state.
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Apr 17, 2019 23:30
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Beachcomber posted:I wish there was a way to gift a negative amount. 30,000 crickets . What an age we live in, to be able to cast a plague of locusts upon those who have sinned in our sight so affordably. You can even make it a monthly subscription!
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Apr 17, 2019 23:42
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DemoneeHo posted:What, no, it's a great idea, making your workers fight for eggs instead of giving them gifts and treating them like human beings Our HR had a winter slips trips and falls meeting after somebody fell in the parking lot. She straight face told us to 'walk like a penguin' on the 100 yard stretch from the plant site and the parking lot. Our senior electrician spoke up "I am a 58 yeat old man"
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Apr 17, 2019 23:48
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Willfrey posted:Our HR had a winter slips trips and falls meeting after somebody fell in the parking lot. She straight face told us to 'walk like a penguin' on the 100 yard stretch from the plant site and the parking lot. Our senior electrician spoke up "I am a 58 yeat old man" "Pay to salt the loving lot and I won't sue your asses to oblivion when I slip and fall"
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Apr 17, 2019 23:53
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:30,000 crickets . What an age we live in, to be able to cast a plague of locusts upon those who have sinned in our sight so affordably. Oh wow. You could also get dead frozen rats delivered to their doorstep for a year! Instruct UPS to just throw em over the fence. If I was rich I'd be a terrible person.
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Apr 17, 2019 23:58
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that is how being rich works, yes
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Apr 18, 2019 00:05
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This relationship has gone to the dogs!quote:BF 24 Me 23 Dating 1 year. 
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Apr 18, 2019 00:31
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Regarding burrito guy, what happens to the burrito if he has a few bites and then reports that it's the wrong order? Do they throw it away? Do the waitstaff eat it? Do they tell him to keep it?
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Apr 18, 2019 00:54
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QuarkJets posted:Regarding burrito guy, what happens to the burrito if he has a few bites and then reports that it's the wrong order? Do they throw it away? Do the waitstaff eat it? Do they tell him to keep it? Depending on the establishment, they would let him keep it or throw it out. He would look like a regular person trying to rectify an honest mistake. On the other hand, when he eats as much as he can before returning it, he looks like a guy trying to capitalize on an opportunity to get 2.75 burritos for the price of 1.
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Apr 18, 2019 00:57
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Okay but what if I eat 3/4 of it, get a new one, and then give the uneaten new one to a hungry homeless person? Surely I don't have to be rude about asking for a new burrito and someone gets to eat at Chipotle's expense instead of go hungry.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:01
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Okay but what if I eat 3/4 of it, get a new one, and then give the uneaten new one to a hungry homeless person? Surely I don't have to be rude about asking for a new burrito and someone gets to eat at Chipotle's expense instead of go hungry. you go against the wall
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Apr 18, 2019 01:02
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My personal favourite part of that is the smug "fine I guess I'll donate the price of a burrito to the food bank" in response to being called an rear end in a top hat. God drat what a snide douche
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Apr 18, 2019 01:10
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Vim Fuego posted:This relationship has gone to the dogs! This couple should just have a few kids, that’ll straighten them out. Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Apr 18, 2019 |
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Apr 18, 2019 01:17
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Andy Dufresne posted:IDK, that wedding attendance requirement story sounds about as fake as anything I've ever read in this thread. If it hadn't been for the minimum gift or "you'll be asked to leave" it would have been a pretty good read. The appearance and photo requirements for guests along with not talking to the bride and groom alone would have spurred some pretty hot takes, but a gift minimum is just so over the top that everyone focuses on that. Yeah, you'd think but... Labes for days posted:The “mandatory cash value” gift is one of the least bizarre and entitled requirements in there. gently caress you, I’m not cutting my hair or shaving because it’s “your special day.” ...where the hell does this guy live?
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Apr 18, 2019 01:25
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Today in self-owning newsquote:I [20F] asked my boyfriend [20M] for too many details about his single life and now I’m regretting it
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Apr 18, 2019 01:27
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Connecticut. It is kind of a big ask for someone to change their entire appearance and then start over for a beard.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:28
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lovely dog owners come in many flavors, not just the “unleashed pitbull is ‘just playing’” with your bleeding child or the neglected backyard dog who froths at the mouth at any human besides the subhuman rear end in a top hat loosely defined as its owner. Spoiling and zero boundaries are bad too, for dogs and people alike. In this case OP’s bf is not just being lazy about training, he’s actively enabling bad behavior. Unless she wants to live more like an animal than the dogs do she needs to  and never look back.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:30
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:Today in self-owning news Buy some wigs and reenact everything he can remember, therefore overwriting the other girls in his mind.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:31
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A special entry from /r/ChoosingBeggars CB [Choosing Beggar] doesn’t get invited to bachelorette party bc she’s a downer. She threw a GIANT fit until the bride finally said what the hell, you can come. The next day, bride and all 17 females received this email from CB. CB IS NOT the bride or in the bridal party and was invited out of pitty.   
CoasterMaster fucked around with this message at 01:34 on Apr 18, 2019 |
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Apr 18, 2019 01:32
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Beachcomber posted:Connecticut. I misread it, I thought he said mandatory cash value was the least odd thing out there, not in that list E: oh wow that last one tactlessbastard fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Apr 18, 2019 |
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Apr 18, 2019 01:32
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CoasterMaster posted:A special entry from /r/ChoosingBeggars Holy poo poo. I'd let her come anyway but and not give her $50 and get as much liquor as I could fit into the room and probably order some male strippers. And I'd definitely be letting poor blank there pop Adderol all drat vacation.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:38
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Scathach posted:Holy poo poo. I'd let her come anyway but and not give her $50 and get as much liquor as I could fit into the room and probably order some male strippers. Satanic sacrifice set up and ready to go would be a nice touch
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Apr 18, 2019 01:43
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Re your previous email. You are correct Vegas does rule! PS. I didn't have time to read the body just the subject.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:44
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there is no way that lady doesn't get knocked up by a male stripper and still look down on all her friends for not being literally jesus
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Apr 18, 2019 01:51
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If real (cough) I’d like to know how she intended to spend $900 on groceries without buying any liquor.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:52
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I [22M] didn't mind another guy [22M] jerking me off during sex with my girlfriend [19F] My girlfriend [19F] and I [22M] were having a threesome with another guy [22M]. I was on my back, she was on top of me and he was taking her from behind. At some point I slipped out due to not being fully hard anymore which I said out loud. Next thing I know is he grabbed my dick and started jerking me off. To my utter surprise it felt great and made me rock. He guided me back into my girlfriend and shortly after I pumped her full of cum. Does that make either of us gay/bi? Or can you still call yourself straight after that? Just to clarify: I don't think there is anything wrong with being gay/bi. I was just wondering. tl;dr: Had a threesome with girlfriend and got a quick handjob from the guy. Surprisingly didn't mind.
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Apr 18, 2019 01:55
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Do they even have groceries in Vegas? Like, is there a Krogers on the strip?
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Apr 18, 2019 01:56
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My (31M) father-in-law (64M) wants to attend a baseball game with me, which I’m dreading for several reasons. My wife has let it be known to me that my father-in-law, who is in town for a couple weeks, wants to attend a baseball game with me while he’s here. I’m a huge baseball fan, so normally I’d be down for attending a game with anybody (or even just by myself). But the prospect of going with my FIL is dreadful. First off, doing anything with him becomes a process and is needlessly difficult. This whole ordeal will turn into an hour-long phone conversation about either meeting at the ballpark or somewhere else, which section to sit in, what drinks to bring to the game, what transportation to take to the game, when to arrive to the stadium, when to leave (he always insists on heading out with 2 outs in 9th in order to beat traffic, I detest this), which section will have the least amount of sun at 1 pm ... You get the point. A mild hiccup in these plans, like the train is slightly late, for instance, and he’ll call in a huge panic. I can count on something going wrong in his mind, and sure enough he’ll phone me like it’s an emergency. Guy needs to learn how to text these things, but one thing at a time. Normally, my wife just handles these situations when they occur in other settings, but since it’s only me essentially babysitting him, I know I’ll rip my hair out. And FIL is notoriously bad with money, so I’ll be footing the bill. Which is fine, except FIL always insists on premium seats. I like outfield seats; they’re moderately priced and still a good viewing section. But no, we’d be “too far from the action”. Box seats are a luxury I cannot currently justify. And to top it all off, FIL’s casually racist comments. I don’t want to be around it for 3 hours. If it was just one thing, I’d grin and bear it, but I have no desire to do it. How do I get out of this situation, Reddit? Tl;dr father-in-law wants to attend a baseball game, but he’ll turn the entire thing in a stress-fueled headache; I want to get out of it gently caress cardinals fans
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Apr 18, 2019 01:56
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CoasterMaster posted:A special entry from /r/ChoosingBeggars Ahahaha. Ahahahahhaha holy poo poo Invite her then buy some Everclear and pay for Chippendales to crash at your suite. Then bring both to the church
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Apr 18, 2019 01:56
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I [22M] didn't mind another guy [22M] jerking me off during sex with my girlfriend [19F] The gay agenda strikes again 
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Apr 18, 2019 02:01
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