- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My(20F) roommate(20F) recently started seeing this shady older man(55M)
quote:For some background information, this girl, Lily, is one of my close friends and we've been roommates for close to three years. She's always been very reserved and overly polite. She always talks about how she is into older men because they are more mature and refined and what not. She has never been in a serious relationship before.
A few months ago, she started talking to this guy from tinder who is 55 years old. Eventually they met up and had a very intense relationship- or so she thought. She wanted them to be in a real relationship but he defined them as "serious friends".
What I know about this guy is that he has a short temper and acts childish (though she doesn't think so). He gets mad at her over the simplest things and will sometimes ignore her for days as her "punishment". She has found evidence of him seeing other women and that he even flew across the world to gently caress some random online girl. She is heart broken and despite all of this, still loves him and rationalizes it by saying it is okay he fucks other people because they are just "serious friends".
I have met this guy just once and he made a show of making out with my roommate in front of me, which my roommate later explained was due to his exhibitionism (?). He told me to ask him questions so I could feel more comfortable so I asked him things relating to him and Lily including how he deals with their arguments. He replied with "whenever Lily does something bad, I have to punish her. It's cause and effect". He also was being really creepy and kept touching and hugging me even though I told him to stop. When I left, he texted Lily and told her "your roommate seems very immature and transparent. I have never been so disrespected before. I see hints of sadism in her".
Soooo over the course of the last few months, I have noticed a lot of changes in her. Whenever he's mad, she's sad. Whenever he's happy, she's happy. They'll make tentative plans to hang out and she will spend hours getting ready just to have him not show up at all. Every week, I have to watch her get ready just to be stood up again. I need help Reddit. I don't know how to help her out because it breaks my heart watching her be like this. No matter what I, her sister, or anyone else tells her, she thinks we're all wrong and don't understand him like she does.
tl;dr My roommate met an older guy online who seems to be creepy and emotionally abusive. She is totally stuck in the dick sand and I don't know how to help.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:05
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 3, 2024 03:42
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Her views aren't worthy of respect, but she doesn't need to date an rear end in a top hat either.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:05
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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My thinking exactly
"I always wanted my girl friend to act like a total slut with a man with a huge dick... but not like this!!!!!"
gtfo
He had the fantasy, but when confronted with the harsh reality he broke. This is not uncommon.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:05
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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My (26f) BF (potentially fiance, 26m) together 4 years. He makes fun of me relentlessly for believing in horoscopes and going to psychics. He got drunk and publicly tried to embarrass me last night. Is this a deal breaker?
I have dozens of examples of my life literally being saved because I read my horoscope on specific days.
At least some of the people in the thread took his side instead.
He's an rear end in a top hat for sure but I'm kinda on his side after that line.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:05
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Me [30F] with my coworker [45F]; she has seen the physical evidence of my BDSM lifestyle and is convinced I'm in an abusive relationship.
quote:This is pretty straightforward.
My husband [34M] and I practice some parts of BDSM, particularly D/s relationships and lots of bondage. It is something that we discovered together, and has been an awesome part of our sex life. We are not 24/7 -- our play is strictly in the bedroom. I am very conscious about the fact that not everyone is OK with the fact that some people like to be tied up and roughed around during sex, and make a conscious effort to not “show off” the marks my husband leaves on me. This is important, because those marks are a big part of the turn-on for me in BDSM -- but, I get that it freaks some people out and I don’t want to involve them in my kinks. Any choke play we do I restrict to Fridays so that I don’t show up to work the next day with bruises on my neck, I make an effort to wear long sleeves when there are marks on my arms, and I make excuses about being clumsy and bumping into things a lot with marks on my lower legs. Marks on my thighs are always covered.
Enter Maria [45F]. She and I have never been close -- we don’t hang out after work, we don’t collaborate on a lot of projects. We work together, and that’s it. Last week Maria came by my cube. I happened to have taken off my sweater, revealing a rather large hand-shaped bruise on my upper arm. I don’t tend to get a lot of visitors in my cube, and the bruise is on the arm that’s facing a wall, not the side where people entered.
Still, Maria saw it, and she got concerned. She asked me if everything was ok at home, if I felt safe. At first I didn’t understand what she was getting at, until I realized her eyes were locked on my arm. Without wanting to get into it, I assured her that everything that happened in my house was “safe, sane, and consensual,” and that while I appreciated her worry it was unneeded.
Yesterday morning, I came into work wearing a sundress. There are bruises and some red marks around my ankles from last night. The same markings are on my wrists, but I have a pretty stretchy long-sleeved cardigan covering them up. I didn’t think the ankle markings would be an issue, considering I spend most of the day at my desk and when I do get up, people aren’t oogling my feet. Shortly after coming in, Maria came back by my cube again with another co-worker to talk about a project they have coming up. I turned to face them in my chair and maybe 5 minutes into the conversation, Maria’s face finally fell on my ankles (I had my legs crossed, so I suppose they were more prominently displayed). She went pale and didn’t talk for a while. When we were done discussing the project, the co-worker left and Maria stayed behind, saying she had something she wanted to ask me. I already knew where it was going but I let her get through her “are you sure you feel safe in your own home” questioning. Again, I reassured her that my husband and I had a loving and safe relationship.
Now, the part I’m struggling with is that I think Maria may have come from an abusive relationship. I know she is divorced, but since she and I aren’t close we’ve never discussed the terms of her relationship. This morning though, I was filling up my coffee mug in the breakroom, and she was sitting there with the same co-worker from yesterday. They weren’t whispering, but Maria said something along the lines of “my ex has just been on my mind a lot lately,” and “there are just so many traumatic memories being stirred up.”
I don’t know what to do with that potential information. If she did come from a physically abusive relationship, then I get how seeing another woman covered in bruises could be traumatic for her. But I also don’t know how to get her to back down off me without just saying, “Maria, I like it when my husband ties me up and smacks me around. It’s a big part of our sex life. It’s consensual.” Neither my husband or myself are involved in any local scene, and we keep what we do between ourselves. It doesn’t help that we live in the South, and I’m not crazy about the idea of letting a co-worker know that my husband and I are into some kinky poo poo -- that seems like something that wouldn’t go over well in our overly-conservative state.
TL;DR my coworker has seen the evidence of my BDSM lifestyle and think I am in an abusive relationship. She may be a former abused spouse. How do I talk to her about this?
Coworker needs to chill a bit, but what the hell are you thinking getting yourself covered in bruises and rope marks and then showing up to work in clothes that show them all off?
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Jun 24, 2019 21:11
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- nankeen
- Mar 20, 2019
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by Cyrano4747
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My [25 M] mom [48 F] tried to put a curse on me to destroy my relationship with my GF [24 F] of 1.5 years.
quote:I told her many things, mainly saying who do you think you are to try to poison my relationship with black magic and then want me to go home and help you?
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Jun 24, 2019 21:11
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My boyfriend (45M) uses racial slurs during sex with me (32F) and I'm not sure what to do about it.
quote:Hello everyone. I feel trapped and ashamed and can't really discuss this with my friends or family so hopefully you guys can give me some clarity. I have been dating a guy "Kane" for 1 year. We met at a concert and immediately hit it off. He is white from Denmark but has lived in America for about 10 years and I am African American. You will see why this is relevant in a second.
I lost my job about three months into us dating and ended up moving in with him and he essentially takes care of everything and is happy to do so. He suggested I go back to school to finish my Masters (I had to drop out of my MA program a few years ago because of money issues) on his dime which I eagerly accepted and now I am only two semesters (summer and fall) away from finishing my program.
The problem is that when we started having sex, he told me he liked submissive women which is fine because I am very submissive in bed. However, the third time we had sex, he started using racial slurs against me like "n***er bitch" and "coon whore" and saying things like "if only your worthless slave ancestors could see you being degraded by a superior white man now", etc. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with him saying those things and he told me it was only raceplay which is a form of BDSM and I shouldn't take it seriously because he isn't a racist.
Outside of the bedroom he is a really nice guy and we do a lot of stuff together but when it comes to sex, he says the only way he can get off is to use racial slurs against me because that's what turns him on. He will also take pictures of black girls that he sees walking down the street or at the mall and caption them with things like "how does this n***er whore look?" and other vile things.
I have looked into Raceplay BDSM and saw it was a real thing but I just can't get comfortable with it and whenever I bring it up he ignores me and tells me I am overreacting and that he can't possibly be a racist since he's in love with a black woman.
It has started progressing outside of the bedroom now and he will text me or call me during the day when he's at work and ask me things like "how is my sexy ni**er bitch today?". Honestly I have heard the N-word more from him in the past year than I have in my whole 32 yrs of life.
I am conflicted because I do like him a lot but I am not comfortable with this raceplay aspect of our relationship because it is very one sided and I was never consulted to even check if I was ok with it! Sometimes I think I can deal with it because I am 32 and the clock is ticking but then again, I feel like I am being a race traitor by letting this man racially degrade me when we are intimate. I am just really confused. Part of me wants to wait to finish my Masters then leave him but I am not sure if he might try and sue me or something. Advice?
tl;dr: My boyfriend uses racial slurs like the N word during sex and it has now progressed outside of the bedroom. He calls it "raceplay" but I am not into it at all. Not sure if I should leave him.
EDIT: I am near tears at the amount of encouraging messages and replies I have gotten since posting this. I posted the following down below but I will put it in the OP.
I have decided to end it with him at the end of the week. He is out of town on a business trip so I am packing up my things while he is gone and moving back with my parents. I hate to be 32 and living back at home but I cannot continue to live this way with a racist. I honestly can't believe I have lived with it this long. I feel disgusted with myself and I feel disgusted that I let someone this vile use me in such a way. I am going to seek therapy as soon as I can. Thank you for your kind and supporting words. I will not let this abusive man take anymore from me.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:13
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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My boyfriend (45M) uses racial slurs during sex with me (32F) and I'm not sure what to do about it.
Entirely unsurprised he’s Danish, good lord that poor woman. God this one is depressing and too real.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:21
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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It sounds like she's trying NOT to show them off. She should probably be more careful with that.
Assuming people won't oogle (sic) your ankles isn't being proactive enough, especially if a coworker already saw bruises.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:23
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- Ytlaya
- Nov 13, 2005
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Entirely unsurprised he’s Danish, good lord that poor woman. God this one is depressing and too real.
People talk about the US being really racist, and obviously they're correct, but to be honest most white Europeans I've met seem to have attitudes corresponding to US attitudes from the mid-20th century or something. It probably varies by the specific country, though I've specifically noticed it as a thing from Danish guys* (like you seem to be implying is common).
* not to imply it's not also a thing with Danish women, but I've only encountered men
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Jun 24, 2019 21:26
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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It sounds like she's trying NOT to show them off. She should probably be more careful with that.
She had a big bruise the size of her hand exposed and was just “Oh I’ll just keep this side opposite my door and hope nobody comes in!”
Like is she gonna poo poo in a bucket under her chair all day?
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Jun 24, 2019 21:27
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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People talk about the US being really racist, and obviously they're correct, but to be honest most white Europeans I've met seem to have attitudes corresponding to US attitudes from the mid-20th century or something. It probably varies by the specific country, though I've specifically noticed it as a thing from Danish guys* (like you seem to be implying is common).
* not to imply it's not also a thing with Danish women, but I've only encountered men
I’m a biracial American living an hour outside of Stockholm.
Dansk - and I cannot emphasize this more - jävlar
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Jun 24, 2019 21:32
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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TIFU by explaining my synesthesia to my boyfriend
quote:I have grapheme-color synesthesia. Basically I see letters and numbers in colors. The letter 'E' being green for example. A couple months ago I was explaining it to my boyfriend who's a bit of a skeptic. He asked me what colour certain letters and numbers were and had me write them down. Since then he'll randomly quiz me and compare my awnser to what I said a few months ago. Always being the sameish as course. He still seemed a bit skeptic as if maybe I just memeroized them really really well.
Tonight we were laying in bed and my boyfriend quized me again. I tried explaining to him I just see the colors automatically when I visualize the letters in my head. I asked him what colour are the letters in his head. He looked at me weirdly like what do you mean in "my head, that's not a thing"
My boyfriend didnt understand what I meant by visualizing the letters. He didn't believe me that I can visualize letters or even visualize anything in my head.
Turns out my boyfriend has aphantasia. When he tries to visualize stuff he just sees blackness. He can't picture anything in his mind and thought that everyone else had it the same way. He thought it was just an expression to say "picture this" or etc... Its crazy to him the fact that I can picture his face without looking at him or a banana without looking at it.
Now I have a boyfriend that is really upset. He feels like his world is turned upside down and every body else has this cool superpower. He's been texting all his friends and see if they can imagine stuff and realizing I wasnt pulling his chain. Hes pretty upset and I feel really bad.
Tldr tried to explain what having synesthesia is like to my bf and turned his life upside down by finding out he has aphantasia. (Cant visualize anything at all)
Edit; Oh wow this blew up. I just wanted to say my boyfriend wasn't being a jerk when it came to quizzing me, it was more of a fun curiosity thing/science experiment. He never thought I was lying. I think it's one thing to wrap your head around synesthesia when you can visualize normally but it's way harder when you have aphantasia.
7 hours later...
TIFU by reading a reddit post and learning that I am not normal.
quote:So today I woke up at 5 a.m. (about an hour ago). I open reddit before I start getting ready for work. I notice a TIFU post. It has a lot of upvotes, so I figure it must be a good one.
As I’m reading through the post and comments, I realize that have never been able to visualize something or someone. I only see black. I did not realize that this is not normal. Apparently it’s called aphantasia and it’s relatively rare. Most people see clear images and colors when they’re visualizing something. I’m 22 and did not know this was a thing until I read that post. I’ve been trying to test myself for the last hour to see if I can “picture” anything. Turns out I can’t. So now I’m sitting here having an existential crisis about all the things I’ll never be able to “see” again.
TL;DR I read a reddit post and discovered I have aphantasia.
EDIT: a lot of people are asking if I can dream or not. The answer is sort of. I do have dreams occasionally and supplements (melatonin/other sleep pills) sometimes make them more vivid, but I don’t recall them at all. The only time I know I have dreamt is when it’s a shocking/scary/exciting dream. I feel something after I wake up, I just can’t recall a drat thing that happened. Sometimes I can remember the premise of the dream, like if it was me working or traveling somewhere, just can’t “see” what I saw when I dreamt. I think I dream maybe once or twice a month.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:33
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- Gone Fashing
- Aug 4, 2004
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KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
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reddit help i dream exactly the same way normal people dream and when i close my eyes and try to think about something i only see black
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Jun 24, 2019 21:40
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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She had a big bruise the size of her hand exposed and was just “Oh I’ll just keep this side opposite my door and hope nobody comes in!”
Like is she gonna poo poo in a bucket under her chair all day?
My wife bruises incredibly easily and is super clumsy, so she is covered in marks that are various shades of purple.
She gets concern from doctors and coworkers all the time, and she just has to tell them she walks into things and bruises easily.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:40
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- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
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by Fluffdaddy
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Amy Sedaris once went to a model shoot with a bunch of other ladies for some kind of product. When she got there the make up person asked her how she wanted to look, so Amy said, "Make me look like I just had the poo poo beat out of me."
So the makeup person gave her a bunch of bruises and a big black eye. They didn't send her home. She stuck out like a sore thumb and they didn't use any of her pictures. After the shoot she went grocery shopping, still in the makeup, and when other women came up and asked her if she was OK she would say,
"I'm better than OK. I'm in love, really in love."
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Jun 24, 2019 21:44
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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TIFU almost eating my cousin out in her office
quote:This happened yesterday. I can't wait until it's much further away than that.
So this is a throwaway, I have *(had) another account where I like to post nudes of myself. That can be your judgement, and why I do it is a whole other conversation, lol, but I do. As a straight guy who posts nudes, most replies I get are from guys. But occasionally I get replies from girls who frequent these subs. My face is never in the photos, nor anything very defining about my outer appearance. Just my... ya know, body.
So I had a girl reply to me a week or so ago from a throwaway account and we chatted and actually hit it off pretty well. Our conversation was sexual and non sexual, but was really fun. She said she had some nudes too but she didn't want to post them, so our conversation moved from reddit. A lot of people in the "nudes" community use Kik, so that is what we used (no phone numbers exchanged).
She is from a large city on the other side of the country as I am, but conveniently I was traveling there next week (this week). We started sharing some fantasies and ideas about what fun it could be to actually meet up. She worked in a big corporate building, and told me she always had the fantasy of a delivery guy coming in, no words exchanged, and he would drop to his knees and lick her pussy and rear end until she came, and then he would leave. This idea turned me on like crazy too, so we started to work out the logistics. We decided I would carry an envelope and say its for office "XXX," she would already tell reception she was expecting this delivery and that she had to sign for it personally. No names needed.
Most importantly we decided we weren't going to exchange face photos...we had already shared WAAAY too much, and were super attracted to each other based on bodies and conversations. We literally shared dozens of nudes, even some videos. And lots and lots of dirty dirty sexting.
So along comes yesterday, the big day. I'm so worked up. She's so worked up and sending me photos of where in her office this will happen, what kind of panties she wore today. Shows me that she is already masturbating. Etc. Oh lord, etc. I text her and tell her I'm in the building. I get to her office, my heart is racing but I'm beyond excited. I see the receptionist, tell her I need a signature from office "XXX" and she points me in the right direction. As I walk up, I see the name on the door. My cousins name. My first cousin, who I have known my whole entire life. My cousin, who I spend every holiday with and am very close with. It can't be, I think.
So I knock and she says to come in, and, yes...it her. And she is obviously masturbating under her desk, assuming this "guy" was going to walk in. I just peak my head in, leaving my body and the envelope outside of the door and say "Heyyyy Cousin, I was in town and thought I'd stop by!" She is blushing bright red and obviously flustered and says "OMG COUSIN!" and gets up to hug me. I literally drop the envelope in the hallway and come in, and we have a really awkward conversation. She tells me she is about to step into a meeting, and to hit her up and we'll get drinks that night.
I race out, grab the envelope, go downstairs and delete all of my accounts. She surely thinks this guy ghosted her, I really don't think she thought it was me. Maybe I read her face wrong, but her embarrassment seemed to be more about maybe catching her in the moment. I'm sure the receptionist told her that the delivery guy came, but maybe she just thinks there was a confusion with me sneaking in. I don't know really though. I texted her later and told her I was too busy for drinks, but maybe tonight. We're supposed to get a drink tonight. I'm petrified and don't know how in god's name I will be able to make eye contact with her.
edit: It's hard to reply to all of the comments, so I'll say some stuff here. She works for a very large company in a very large city. She told me what floor to go, I honestly didn't even pay attention to the company name when the elevator opened. I DO know what company she works for, and its not hard to find the address if I wanted. Like I said, it's a big company, and not a shock that I could pop in.
Yes she is on reddit but I highly doubt she will see this post. She told me she uses reddit for porn only lol.
tl:dr - Post nudes on reddit, girl replies with elaborate sexual fantasy, go to act out fantasy and realize girl is my cousin.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:44
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My wife bruises incredibly easily and is super clumsy, so she is covered in marks that are various shades of purple.
She gets concern from doctors and coworkers all the time, and she just has to tell them she walks into things and bruises easily.
There's a difference between just being clumsy and showing off your BDSM damage and readily telling people who are uncomfortable "It's okay, I like it!" That's right on the edge of involving someone unconsenting in your kink.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:47
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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TIFU by getting a sugar daddy and now my mom thinks the government is watching her
quote:So, a couple months ago I was struggling financially - I was out of a job and barely staying afloat with student debt. I'm in my early 20s, and I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy dating app. Several of my friends had done it and had great experiences - a lot of these guys are INSANELY loaded, and you don't even have to sleep with anyone if you don't want to. A lot of them are lonely and just want someone to go out with.
Within a week, I was talking to someone. We got along really well actually, I got lucky. We go on dates and weekend trips, and in return he covers some costs for me and buys me poo poo. It's great.
Well, this week he gave me a thousand to help with my student loans. I was blown away, thanked him profusely and immediately made a loan payment.
Two days later, I get a text from my mom.
"holy cow, where did you get that kind of money?"
gently caress. My mom is the cosigner on my loan and has access to the same account. She had seen the payment. I hadn't made one in months, and I'd never paid more than $150 at one time.
At this point I should mention that I'm a guy. While she tries to suppress it, my mother is deeply homophobic, and pretty socially conservative all around. Me coming out to her on it's own would be a shitstorm, let alone telling her that I'd become a loving sugar baby.
I responded. "I can't really talk about it"
"why? what's going on?"
"I can assure you that I didn't do anything illegal or sell my body. lol"
Then an idea hit me.
"I signed an NDA, sorry"
"what?!"
She called. I told her I was sorry but I really couldn't tell her or I'd be in huge legal trouble. What I didn't consider was that that implied whoever I signed the NDA with had the power to both a.) completely gently caress me over legally and b.) somehow know if I told a single family member. Being conspiracy-headed as she is, she figured I was involved in some shady government project.
Anyway, now my mom thinks she's being monitored and won't respond to my texts. My sugar daddy thinks it's hilarious. I do not.
TL;DR: Sugar daddy fronted me 1k towards student debt, mom noticed, used an NDA as an excuse to not explain, now she thinks my/her commnications are being watched.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:49
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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TIFU almost eating my cousin out in her office
lol OWNED.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:53
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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TIFU by having ADHD while having sex.
I'm warning you now, this is extremely aggravating to read.
quote:Unlike other TIFUs, this indeed happened today. Just a few minutes ago, actually. And yes, this is a throwaway for reasons.
It's Sunday afternoon, and it's a pretty lazy day here at my house. The husband indicates that he's in the mood for bedroom activities, and while I didn't particularly feel the need for carnal relations, I thought - what the hey, there's nothing better to do.
So I put the two kiddos (10 and 12 yo girls) on the Netflix (She-Ra, because gently caress yeah, girl power!), and we proceeded to the bedroom activity portion of this FU.
Well, this is the portion of my story where I realize that my FU may have actually been last night. Because last night is when I forgot to take my meds. It happens more often than it should, really. I'm a teacher, and it's summer time, and so forgetting to take my meds happens more often when I'm not on a regular schedule (and yes, I have a reminder in my phone, but sometimes I'm playing games and I turn off the alarm, thinking that I'll remember when I'm done with this level, but I never do...)
So anywhat, the husband starts his dirty finger dance on the honeypot, and I'm trying to get into it, but my mind is bouncing around like a Cirque d'Soylay trapeze dancer. Should my new Pathfinder be a human or half-elf? What about Trump and his assholeyness? I wonder how many pics we took in Bryce Canyon this week... We should really finish our moving plans soon. (You know, the stupid stuff your mind isn't supposed to think about while your clit is being dj'ed).
After a couple of minutes, I finally just tell the hubs that he might as well just jump right on in and do what needs doing, because he might as well finish his deed since mine won't get done right now. So he obliges, but then starts taking his sweet time. I try to find a way to tell him, in not so many words, to just "Wham bam, thank you ma'am" and call it good, but the first words that come to mind pop out:
"Bop it!"
I instantly start giggling, then follow up with
"Twist it."
"Flick it."
At first, the hubs tries to power through. But my giggles turned into hysterical laughing. I'm talking the kind where you're holding your stomach, sounding like a flock of Canadian goose migrating south for the winter.
Needless to say, his ability to "Bop it" deflates, and he's now in the shower, I'm assuming finishing the job himself with fewer distractions. I went and took my med, and hopefully I have better focus-ability to make it up to him later.
TL:DR - Forgot my meds, failed to focus on sexy times, and now I'll never be able to play "Bop It" with a straight face again in my life.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:56
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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TIFU by having ADHD while having sex.
I'm warning you now, this is extremely aggravating to read.
gently caress!
loving HELL!
ARGH!
You are 100% right and I shouldn't have read it. Now I'm irritated.
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Jun 24, 2019 22:02
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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Isn't this the same thing as 'my gender is attack helicopter'?
No, because attack helicopters are rad as gently caress and being straight is just kinda blah.
Exhibit A
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Jun 24, 2019 22:15
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- ragedx
- Mar 15, 2019
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Vodka is just awesome water
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My wife bruises incredibly easily and is super clumsy, so she is covered in marks that are various shades of purple.
She gets concern from doctors and coworkers all the time, and she just has to tell them she walks into things and bruises easily.
Do you get side glances and are asked to wait outside during some encounters with doctors and such?
I had that poo poo happen and we don't have anything that remotely "sounds" this bad.
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Jun 24, 2019 22:17
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- UZR IS BULLSHIT
- Jan 25, 2004
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TIFU by having ADHD while having sex.
I'm warning you now, this is extremely aggravating to read.
I hate you
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Jun 24, 2019 22:41
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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AITA for declining to spit on Nazi graves?
The comments are as bad as you'd expect.
I don't think either one of them is an rear end in a top hat. It's perfectly fine to spit on a Nazi's grave for any number of reasons, but there are also plenty of reasons why you might not want to and those are perfectly acceptable. Perhaps you don't want any part of your biological material touching a Nazi, or perhaps you feel that spitting on a dead Nazi requires a greater amount of effort than the Nazi warrants. Perhaps someone has even recently pissed on the Nazi's grave and you don't want to dilute it by spitting.
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Jun 24, 2019 22:50
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 3, 2024 03:42
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- Fuck Your Website
- Nov 29, 2003
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FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
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Amy Sedaris once went to a model shoot with a bunch of other ladies for some kind of product. When she got there the make up person asked her how she wanted to look, so Amy said, "Make me look like I just had the poo poo beat out of me."
So the makeup person gave her a bunch of bruises and a big black eye. They didn't send her home. She stuck out like a sore thumb and they didn't use any of her pictures. After the shoot she went grocery shopping, still in the makeup, and when other women came up and asked her if she was OK she would say,
"I'm better than OK. I'm in love, really in love."
Pretty close for a retelling from memory, I'll give you a B+ but bump it up to A- in your case as violent semen expulsion was not involved
David Sedaris posted:My father called me late one recent Sunday evening, excited with the news that my sister Amy was scheduled to appear in a magazine article on young New York women.
"Can you imagine?" he asked. "My God, put a camera in front of that girl and she'll shine like a diamond! Between the single men and the job opportunities, her phone is gonna be ringin' right off the hook!" ...
When my father called asking about the photo shoot, I feigned ignorance. I didn't tell him that at the scheduled time, my sister arrived at the studio with unwashed hair and took her place beside a half-dozen women carefully dressed in flattering outfits. She waited while the others had their hair styled into the current fashion. One by one, their brows were trained while makeup artists made the most of their lips and cheekbones. When called forth to the styling table, Amy said only, "I want to look like someone has beaten me up really, really bad."
The makeup artist did a fine job. The black eyes and purple jaw were accentuated by a series of scratch marks on her forehead. Pus-yellow pools surrounded her blistered nose, and her swollen lips were fenced with mean rows of brackish stitches. Amy was enchanted with her new look.
Following the shoot, she wore her bruises to the dry cleaner and grocery store. Most people nervously looked away, but on the rare occasion someone asked what had happened, my sister smiled as brightly as possible, saying, "I'm in love, can you believe it? I'm finally, totally in love, and you know what? It feels great."
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Jun 24, 2019 23:09
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Jun 24, 2019 21:05
Tater Love 
