- Power Khan
- Aug 20, 2011
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by Fritz the Horse
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I'm dying here. LOL
My wife [F26] found my [M26] stash of unusual porn. She freaked out and left the house, what do I say to smooth this over?
Throwaway, obviously.
My wife and I have been married for two years now. We have a good sex life, but every once in a while I get that craving only a good wank will satisfy.
Yesterday when she went out shopping I decided to fire up the computer and have some time to myself. I've got all my material saved on a google drive with a gmail account that I only use in incognito mode.
However in the middle of jerking off my mom called me on skype and I had to stop and talk to her. After that I wasn't in the mood anymore so I closed all my windows and left the computer.
An hour later my wife yells my name from downstairs and tells me to come down. I get down there and she's crying and red faced in front of the computer. I look at the screen and sure enough, she's looking at my folder. I forgot to use incognito and my account was still logged in. She calls me disgusting and tells me she can't believe I would do something like that to hurt her. I'm into SSBBW and the majority of the stuff I had saved was camgirl clips I had bought and amateur hardcore, all with obese women. There was also a lot of stuff I made in photoshop putting my wife's face onto fat women's bodies and such. For the record, my wife is skinny and had no idea I was into fat girls. There were a few photoshops of her friends as fat women as well which probably weren't fun for her to see.
I didn't know what to say so I just apologized over and over. She said she felt sick just looking at me and stormed out of the house. I haven't heard anything from her since. I'm pretty sure she spent the night at her friend's place. No idea what to do next. I feel totally destroyed and sick inside. It kind of feels like my marriage is over.
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Jul 12, 2019 09:04
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 12, 2024 15:35
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- FilthyImp
- Sep 30, 2002
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Anime Deviant
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Pretty sure when the guy says "You should.have been aborted for your poor genetics" you have carte blanche to mention that at any point someone tries to garner sympathy for the dude being cut off.
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Jul 12, 2019 09:05
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- bell jar
- Feb 25, 2009
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quote:
Should I break off my engagement over a "prank"
a disclaimer: I am extremely emotional, and especially furious over this.
I got engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years at the beginning of the year, when we were out of the country. Because we move around a lot we decided we will plan our prewedding trips with friends and some family members when we will be in our homeland, from May onwards, which is now. We decided trips would be a better option than a bachelor/bachelorette and we agreed that we would each surprise the other with planning the trip to somewhere nice.
He is getting an all expenses paid trip to a resort in a town he and his family vacationed when he was younger, and where he spent his favorite spring break vacation in his life with his friends. What did I get?
Well, as I was visiting my sister in a shop she owns with her partner, innocently looking around waiting for her to be done so we can go for lunch, 2 police officers came in and arrested me. I was in full complete shock, they were ignoring my questions, my sisters and her gfs questions, and dragged me out of the store (in front of customers and passerbys) into a van/smaller bus looking vehicle. I really wasn't paying attention to my surroundings until I was put into the van and I heard giggles and everyone screamed "surprise!!!"
Apparently, the officers were strippers, and my fiance thought it would be a funny start to my prewedding trip. In the car were my friends, younger sister, and worst of all, his and my mother. As I was still handcuffed I started screaming at all of them and forced them to let me go, bust out of the car and scream at my sister and her gf (who I now know had NO idea which is just terrible planning but he wanted it to be a genuine reaction from them). Everyone was shocked by my reaction and thought I would take it in good fun. Because being arrested and dragged into a van is great fun.
I called him and didn't hold my composure at all, the biggest argument in the history of the world started and he said he got the idea from the p.s. I love you book because that's one of my favorites and he thought I'd get a kick out of it.
I am embarassed, shaken up, and honestly just so angry at everyone I know. All of this happened on this past friday and I haven't been home since, I've been staying at my older sisters (the one that didn't know anything about it) and dodging calls and questions because everyone says I've overreacted and just need to calm down, but honestly, I'm considering calling everything off. Am I overreacting? I really can't describe how terrified I was in that moment. I am at a loss.
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Jul 12, 2019 09:06
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Super Sayin Big Beautiful Women? I mean, thats bad, but at least he hasnt gone even further beyond
Barudak fucked around with this message at 09:15 on Jul 12, 2019
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Jul 12, 2019 09:06
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- bell jar
- Feb 25, 2009
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quote:
AITA for completing cutting all ties with my friends after a fake kidnapping prank?
I am still furious and shaken up about this. Also I have never posted on Reddit before so forgive me if I've done something wrong.
It was my birthday on Saturday, and I met up with a close friend to spend the morning with and have coffee. She lives on a farm out of town, and I used to spend a lot of time there. I liked all the space to walk around, and I love animals so I always enjoyed it there. We were out walking towards the back of her property, towards the road, and we were approached by 3 people in masks. One of them had a shotgun, and started screaming for us to get down. In hindsight, I should have been able to recognise that voice, but I was in so much panic and shock at the sight of the gun that I froze.
We both got down on the ground. I saw my friend have a pillow case put over her head, but I didn't see where they took her. The one with the gun pointed it at me and the other one knelt down over me. He cable tied my wrists behind my back, put tape over my mouth and a pillow case over my head. They made me stand up and walked me to a car. I sat in the back inbetween two of them and was told to keep my head down or else I would be shot.
They drove around for what felt like a long time, which was only actually about 20 minutes. I cried like a loving baby the whole time, I was shaking and scared out of my loving mind. When the car finally stops the pillow case comes off my head, and I see everyone in the car with their masks off. All 4 of them were my friends, even the one who I thought got abducted as well was in the car. It was all a stupid loving birthday prank. They had driven me to a cafe to have cake and drinks. The gun was empty. All of them were in on it.
I was loving hysterical. I wanted away from them as soon as possible. I told them all to gently caress off and got an uber home. I sent them all a text that they could all go die and that I was never speaking to them again. I am even considering going to the police I am so loving angry.
They all had been texting me, initially saying it was just a joke and to lighten up. I ignored them. They have been trying to call me and messaging me non-stop since, apologising profusely and telling me they were just trying to play a joke and they don't want to lose our friendship. I have several voicemails of my female friend in tears saying she is sorry and just wants to talk.
There is no going back though, I'm loving done. I have mentally and emotionally cut all ties with them. Nothing will change my mind. I just want to know if I am justified in my decision.
And before anyone asks, yes, I am booked in for therapy. I am already probably scarred for life, but I want to try and deal with as much of this poo poo as I can.
edit - thank you to everyone for your concern and we'll wishes. They do mean a lot. Posting this and reading people's responses has reaffirmed the decision in my mind to cut them out completely was the right choice, and I feel a lot more comfortable in that choice. I was considering legal action, and it is definitely something I think I am now going to look into.
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Jul 12, 2019 09:13
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Did that story ever get an update, because I need people in jail
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Jul 12, 2019 09:18
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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I'm dying here. LOL
My wife [F26] found my [M26] stash of unusual porn. She freaked out and left the house, what do I say to smooth this over?
Throwaway, obviously.
My wife and I have been married for two years now. We have a good sex life, but every once in a while I get that craving only a good wank will satisfy.
Yesterday when she went out shopping I decided to fire up the computer and have some time to myself. I've got all my material saved on a google drive with a gmail account that I only use in incognito mode.
However in the middle of jerking off my mom called me on skype and I had to stop and talk to her. After that I wasn't in the mood anymore so I closed all my windows and left the computer.
An hour later my wife yells my name from downstairs and tells me to come down. I get down there and she's crying and red faced in front of the computer. I look at the screen and sure enough, she's looking at my folder. I forgot to use incognito and my account was still logged in. She calls me disgusting and tells me she can't believe I would do something like that to hurt her. I'm into SSBBW and the majority of the stuff I had saved was camgirl clips I had bought and amateur hardcore, all with obese women. There was also a lot of stuff I made in photoshop putting my wife's face onto fat women's bodies and such. For the record, my wife is skinny and had no idea I was into fat girls. There were a few photoshops of her friends as fat women as well which probably weren't fun for her to see.
I didn't know what to say so I just apologized over and over. She said she felt sick just looking at me and stormed out of the house. I haven't heard anything from her since. I'm pretty sure she spent the night at her friend's place. No idea what to do next. I feel totally destroyed and sick inside. It kind of feels like my marriage is over.
As a fat woman, castration is too kind for this type of creep. I loving despise this type of man.
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Jul 12, 2019 09:20
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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Super Sayin Big Beautiful Women? I mean, thats bad, but at least he hasnt gone even further beyond
I'm surprised it took this long to see the results of those whose sexual awakening was set off by Kale.
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Jul 12, 2019 09:25
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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When simply cutting that person out doesn't cut it
The Trump Administration is bringing out the worst in my father and it's ripping my family apart.
My[33F] father[75M] is a huge Trump supporter. Remember when Trump joked he could shoot someone in Times Square and it'd all be fine? My father played some mental gymnastics "proving" it was the only right and reasonable course for him to take.
My father has always been conservative and I use to be more conservative too. Since the Trump administration I have gone more liberal to be fair, but he went off the deep end for Trump. To prevent being banned I will gloss over the political differences when I can. Though some things he considers political differences I consider moral differences. For example, I have mild health issues and my child has more moderate health issues. Overall, we live a healthy life to compensate so we may live our best and healthiest life. Before the Trump administration, my father started going down the rabbit hole of eugenics and that people with a genetic defect of any kind shouldn't breed. Since the Trump administration, it has gone into overdrive. He feels vindicated with all these White Nationalists coming out of the woodwork like there must be something to these beliefs as others share them. I disagree with those sentiments, but where it affects my family is he thinks my child shouldn't have been born, I should have had an abortion (which he is opposed to???), I should give him up, and how does my husband feel about me bringing diseases into his family. Due to these statements and others, I have cut contact with my father.
What is difficult is that people know my father is alive and my children have nothing to do with him. He has told our family members that cut him out, because he is a Trump supporter. No, I cut him out because the worst parts of the Trump administration have amplified the worst parts of his personality. I want to be with my extended family, but now it is difficult and I have been told it puts them in a hard place since I refuse to bring my children around him. My extended family are wonderful before anybody jumps on them. They do not agree with his political or moral sentiments. My fight is not theirs and it is putting a strain on our relationship. I do have friends who support Trump, but they can at least see his faults in supporting White Nationalists.
Reddit, how do I handle the stress and complication this is adding to my life? How do I make this as easy as possible on my extended family while maintaining my distance from my father?
Your father has dementia
every trump supporter also has dementia
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Jul 12, 2019 09:27
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Jawohl, mein Fruhstuck
Barudak fucked around with this message at 10:34 on Jul 12, 2019
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Jul 12, 2019 10:31
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- feedmegin
- Jul 30, 2008
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I decided to buy a flagpole and fly the St Georges Cross (the flag of England)
If you're doing this in England itself outside of the World Cup people will tend to assume you're a Nazi, incidentally. We don't really have a big patriotic flag culture here so this would definitely come across as a bit MAGA-hat.
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Jul 12, 2019 10:33
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- TheMaskedUgly
- Sep 21, 2008
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Let's play a different game.
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Hang anyone who tries to take pride in the cross of St George
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Jul 12, 2019 11:41
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- Xik
- Mar 10, 2011
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Dinosaur Gum
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From blue berry inflation to human breast pumping with goat milking machines, I am now armed with this unforgettable knowledge.
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Jul 12, 2019 11:43
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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This might be the dumbest prank ever posted.
If you love something, get a PPO against it. If it returns to you, it was meant to be.
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Jul 12, 2019 11:54
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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Ultra Carp
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AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t feel comfortable wearing my costume to a party?
My girlfriend is an amazingly talented costume making and sower. There is a costume party coming up and she has said she would like to make us a slave and master costume me being the slave her the master. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mind this and indeed during sex I am the submissive and she is dominant. This is not during sex though this is a costume party and we are an interracial couple she is black and I am white and the costume she is making has chains and such and looks like a slave from the period before emancipation and abolition it is beautifully made but I am worried that some will see it as offensive. She sees it as a playful inversion of roles but I think some might view it somewhat as mocking slavery. Almost like blackface.
LOL, let's forcibly involve everyone else in our fetishes and also get publicly branded as weirdo racists
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Jul 12, 2019 12:16
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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My (28M) GF (28F) is not enough of a whore to really turn me on.
quote:
I’m in a bit of a dilemma. I absolutely love my gf, and she will be my eventual wife. Undoubtably we are soul mates - we have the exact same sense of humor, get along so well, and currently live together with no issues whatsoever. We move in lockstep, and she is my very best friend.
Now, at 28, this is certainly not my first go around. In fact, I was unashamedly a slut before she and I got together. I’ve been with 100+ women (dating, tinder hookups, etc.) and probably double that amount if you count escorts. I’d like to avoid the discussion of morality of prostitution for this post (although you may pick up on a very strong argument against soliciting it in my post).
The issue here is that... my girlfriend is almost too sweet. She’s really great, very funny, and incredibly beautiful. I just don’t view her as strongly sexually because she isn’t a “dirty slut.” I don’t view women this way, I’ve just always been turned on by taboo sexual situations, like one-night stands, quick hook-ups on Tinder, or loving a prostitute. That has traditionally really turned me on.
Being with such a perfect and wholesome person doesn’t... “do it for me” sexually. I wouldn’t necessarily say I have a virgin-Madonna complex. I don’t expect my gf to be a virgin or pure. I just can’t see her as a sexual treat, either.
Our sex life could be better if I could get past this. I’m sure it has everything to do with my own mental issues. How do I get past this?
Oh yeah
Oh yeah you like that you sweet vanilla adult lady
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Jul 12, 2019 12:22
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- Skippy McPants
- Mar 19, 2009
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I hope someone in the comments pointed out that "virgin-Madonna" isn't the correct phrase and also is a tautology.
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Jul 12, 2019 12:25
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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Ultra Carp
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AITA for not wanting to go to my sons wedding?
I'm acting like an rear end in a top hat.
Can't these people just post "I have NPD/BPD and kids. Hijinx ensue"? It's the same loving story every time
edit:
Im a trash goblin, and my son has told me he thinks Im a trash goblin, where does he get the nerve to treat me like Im some trash goblin???
basically this
Vim Fuego fucked around with this message at 12:38 on Jul 12, 2019
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Jul 12, 2019 12:36
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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I hope someone in the comments pointed out that "virgin-Madonna" isn't the correct phrase and also is a tautology.
Maybe they mean the singer Madonna.
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Jul 12, 2019 12:39
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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Ultra Carp
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My [29M] fiancee [28F] of 4 years randomly claimed I abused her, and called the police. This came completely out of the blue..
tl;dr: This was actually just a stupid prank by my fiancee.
holy poo poo, run
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Jul 12, 2019 12:49
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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Maybe they mean the singer Madonna.
But I thought she was, like, a virgin?
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Jul 12, 2019 12:51
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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My (28M) GF (28F) is not enough of a whore to really turn me on.
Oh yeah
Oh yeah you like that you sweet vanilla adult lady
Have you liked tried talking to her about it?
Yeah of course not.
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Jul 12, 2019 13:03
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- Butter Activities
- May 4, 2018
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Another few gems from the estranged parent forums
estranged parent posted:
This is in response to mom2020’s thread on being abandoned by son.
Too busy
Sick of you being sick
hate
I’m wondering since your son is so justified and proud of his behavior, if an e mail of your thread should be sent to all his co-workers, a front page on his local newspaper, a copy to his girlfriend, a billboard rented with son’s picture on it and declaring that he abandoned his sick elderly mother, and he’s proud of it. Certainly there should be no objections, since he feels so justified.
Why not? He is evidently o. k. with his behavior, so he shouldn’t mind sharing such an important facet of his personality with those closest to him. Pull out the stops and get a megaphone and stand on the street corner telling the world how the person who gave him birth is not worthy of a kindness most people would show an animal.
I’m so tired of the excuses of they’ve had a hard life (some have), they needed some space, they were going through a lot at the time.
Who among us have not experienced all of the above while raising our children? How many of us stayed up all night doing something for our children while still having to go to two jobs the next day? Did we use being sick ourselves as an excuse to ignore and neglect? Some have raised children with medical problems that continued their whole lives. Did we declare we were tired of them being sick and walk away? Did we continually complain how much work our children were to our family, co workers, and friends. No we didn’t. We sucked it up and did it out of love, with all hope that better days were coming. If we didn’t many of these young people would have died, been sent to group homes, or tossed to one foster family after another. We, on the other hand, would possibly being doing jail time for child neglect and abuse.
On quite a continual basis I see in advise columns the complaints of adult children inconvenienced by elderly parents that need a prescription picked up or some small gesture as a visit or phone call. Many times the advise is referrals to government programs. Loving one’s mother is not the government’s responsibility.
I’ve seen reference to the fact that some of these children read here. Well I hope this young man does, because I for one would like him to know that he is a poor excuse for a human being, and when his behavior catches up with him, and it will, that as compassionate of a human being as I am, that I will watch and offer no help. I wish that I could say that one of your selfish friends or co workers or backstabbing relation will come to your rescue, but you see, they are:
too busy
too tired of you being sick and needy
not in need of anyone who requires any sacrifice to their needs
just like you
You see young man, you passed up the one person who would have done almost anything for you with no strings attached. You are the kind of person who makes the earth harder to live on. Perhaps I can offer you a govm’nt program?
To you mom2020, please accept the love and help from this web site—it is living proof that there are still kind people, and if a G program is all you’ve got, well? I will be praying for other sources available for you. I hope I live to see the day when these people are prosecuted for the atrocities they are causing, and there is a bright spotlight highlighting the shame they should be feeling.
With utmost desire for your well being,
Huh?
“Huh?” is him signing his post, fyi
estranged parent posted:
Once when my daughter was lamenting about her terrible childhood, I reminded her that she sang almost all the time (beautiful voice, had offers to sing in prof. bands). She told me it was all an act; she was depressed. Wow, too bad she didn’t move to Hollywood with all that talent. She sure fooled me and a ton of others.
P.S. Abusive EH told her she couldn’t sing, this being someone who couldn’t carry a tune with a handle on it—don’t think she has sung since. The voice of wisdom has spoken. Barf.
My thoughts are that they are told over and over and over about how terrible we were to them and somewhere along the line, they assimilate it as truth. I’ve seen documentaries on brainwashing that say that it makes a new path in their brain pattern. In most cases they are kept away from family and friends who could talk to them about positive things and set them straight. I know it was relayed to me by my ED that EH “opened her eyes to how harmful I was”. I guess the assumption was that she wasn’t intelligent enough to notice this by herself in all those years. What would she have done without his enlightenment? HUH?
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Jul 12, 2019 13:41
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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Can't leave out the update(s)!
UPDATE: I [24/M] just offered an apology to my girlfriend's family after pulling a prank on them.
quote:
Here's the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/9iy0v8/my_girlfriend_23f_is_threatening_to_break_up_with/
I'm honestly really embarrassed and humiliated about this update. I almost considered not even posting it, but I feel the need to vent and express my frustrations on some way, so here it is. I really hope you don't think too badly of me and you understand what I'm going through after last night.
Last night, my girlfriend's family was holding a barbecue in their backyard and my girlfriend was able to talk her dad into inviting me. He was originally against the idea of me coming, but he was willing to let me come so long as the first thing I do is offer a genuine apology for the prank that I pulled on all of them.
I arrived in their backyard and everybody that I pranked at the campsite was sitting at a table and they were all clearly waiting for me to arrive. I sat down next to my girlfriend and I began my apology. I stated that my prank was ill-timed, immature, and thoughtless and I apologized for ruining their camping trip that they had apparently been planning for some time. I tried to make it as genuine and sincere as possible and when I was done, I waited for some type of response. There was a really long awkward silence as the whole family just stared at me. Then the uncle whispered something in the dad's ear and they both burst out laughing, but I couldn't make out what he said. The dad then said that he DIDN'T accept my apology and then he told me to leave. My initial response was a very loud "What the gently caress?" and that made things worse. My girlfriend's dad kept telling me to leave and I lost my temper. I swiped an empty plastic cup off of the table and I said to the family "Fine, gently caress all of you!" while flipping them off with both middle fingers.
As I was leaving the backyard, my girlfriend caught up to me and said that she was breaking up with me. She said that I was too "immature" and "impulsive" and she said that she wants me to leaver her and her family alone. I tried apologizing to her profusely. I kept saying "Babe, I'm sorry! Just give me another chance and I promise I'll be good! I promise!" I kept saying this over and over, but she said that she's given me "millions" of chances and that she "can't fix me". She then walked off and I did something that made things even worse. I yelled at her, calling her a bitch and then I started kicking and punching their wooden fence that separates their front and back yard. I knocked down part of the fence and then I left.
All of that happened last night and I feel like poo poo. Part of me wants to just give up on her and move on, but I also want to prove to her that I'm capable of changing. I want to promise her no more pranks along with trying to control my temper. What do you think I should do?
tldr: Apologized to my girlfriend's family over a prank, girlfriend still broke up with me.
And then in r/legaladvice:
What kind of trouble can I get in for breaking someone else's fence?
quote:
Long story short, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and her family last night. She's now my ex-girlfriend and I lashed out and broke down part of their wooden fence that separates the back and front yard. Her father hasn't contacted me about it, but I'm worried that he's going to come after me eventually. What kind of trouble can I get in?
I'm pretty sure dude was a fake, but at least an entertaining one
LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Jul 12, 2019
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Jul 12, 2019 13:47
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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Would anyone be interested in a separate thread for the hosed up parent forums?
E: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3893726&perpage=40
teen witch fucked around with this message at 15:37 on Jul 12, 2019
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Jul 12, 2019 13:52
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Would anyone be interested in a separate thread for the hosed up parent forums?
Yeah because it definitely needs it’s own space.
It’s kinda shooting fish in a barrel posting it here.
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Jul 12, 2019 13:54
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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Honestly, these are pretty much all the same and just make me super mad reading them so moving them to another thread is fine by me
Yeah they really only come in two flavors, one being homophobic, and they're usually long without any payoff
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Jul 12, 2019 14:27
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Ever notice the estranged parents are always conservatives? Hmmm...
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Jul 12, 2019 14:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 12, 2024 15:35
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- Butter Activities
- May 4, 2018
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Ever notice the estranged parents are always conservatives? Hmmm...
Not really, but most are just way too vague to have anything to latch onto for a clear “so thaaaats why your kids hate you.” There’s a number that are “we are so progressive and accepting yet...” but those tend to avoid admitting or providing enough detail.
What’s funny though is that the same accounts in their own thread who describe themselves as accepting of gays or whatever (including the host of the site) will back up and have sympathy for the poor homophobic parents in others and not make a peep.
Anyway, I feel like I’ve mined what I’m gonna get from there, it’s all way too vague or just the same really loving bigoted assholes over and over.
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Jul 12, 2019 14:49
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Jul 12, 2019 09:04
